Clayton Farris

Summary

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Guest: Clayton Farris

Date: November 12, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lively and candid episode, Pete Holmes sits down with comedian and actor Clayton Farris for a classic “You Made It Weird” deep-dive into the peculiarities of life, the realities of working in entertainment, cycles of self-improvement and self-doubt, spirituality, old-school Oprah, social media burnout, the anxiety-inducing present, cold plunges, ghosts, and so much more. True to the show’s spirit, both Pete and Clayton share their “secret weirdness,” veering between humor and sincerity in equal measure.

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Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Comedy, Sobriety, and Flexible Identities

[06:00–08:10]

• Pete and Clayton riff about the concept of brunch and segue into a candid discussion of alcohol, sobriety, and the discomfort of fixed labels.
• Clayton shares that he's gone about a year and a half mostly sober, but avoids strict labels:

  "I don't want to say that I'm completely sober because, like, if I do drink here and there, it's not, I'm not gonna, like...lie, you know, I'm not trying to lie."
  —Clayton [07:22]

• Both agree on resisting “club” mentalities and the feeling of imposter syndrome around groups like AA, with Pete referencing Groucho Marx:

  "I don't want any club that would allow me to be the treasurer."
  —Pete [08:09]

2. Fast Minds, Weed, and the Cost of Fuzziness

[10:13–12:48]

• They compare notes on being “quick” in wit and intellect, and the paradox that such people often self-medicate to slow down.
• Pete reflects on the impact of weed:

  "Why am I negotiating with memory and functionality to kind of feel occasionally like I'm in a hot tub, but I'm on my couch?"
  —Pete [12:20]

• Both recognize up and down cycles—streaks of health and excess—and liken their habits to celebrities subjected to media scrutiny, like Kirstie Alley and Oprah.

3. The Oprah Effect: Self-Help Culture

[14:08–15:48]

• Clayton credits Oprah for instilling in a generation the idea of self-work and self-help:

  "Because I would come home from school and literally...watch Oprah and it would always be a self help thing....that literally at a younger age, got in my head and was like, all right, always be fixing yourself."
  —Clayton [15:12]

• Pete and Clayton discuss the double-edged sword of self-improvement and self-acceptance—celebrating Oprah as an early spiritual “gateway.”

4. The Cycles and Traps of Showbiz Validation

[23:19–27:13]

• They riff on the endless “climb” of Hollywood, comparing it to Scientology's level system, always promising fulfillment at the next “tier.”
• Clayton reflects on the fleeting satisfaction of professional accomplishments:

  "Even like the small successes...they fill you up for shorter and shorter amounts of time."
  —Clayton [24:49]

• Pete analogizes buying a new iPhone—brief satisfaction, then boredom—as a metaphor for the actor’s and comedian’s chase for the next “hit.”

5. Discovering Acting as Craft, Not Just Performance

[28:14–29:25, 62:06–66:11]

• Clayton shares his early career, the joys and pressures of being a “character actor,” and the realization you’ll never be the “square-jawed” leading man.

  "I always feel like when I get a job at the level I'm at, I have to deliver. Like, I have to. Like. You know what I mean?"
  —Clayton [29:51]

• A pivotal transition came as he moved to LA, booked commercials, and, crucially, began to meditate out of audition anxiety. Only then did he start digging into the craft—training with Risa Bramon Garcia, and engaging with the “next layer” of acting.

6. Migration to LA, the Hotel Years, and Culture Shock

[31:32–45:01]

• Clayton relates his background—working as a hotel manager in Dallas (which, eerily, was his stated dream in sixth grade)—and seeing firsthand the excessive, sometimes seedy, behaviors of the wealthy.
• A friend’s casual suggestion prompted his move to LA, where he worked the Outfest Film Festival ticket booth, landed in Echo Park, and found exhilaration in “this huge world…tons of different people.”

  "I was at the Short Stop, smelling hot dogs wafting up. But, like, that was the experience in there."
  —Clayton [44:43]

• Both Pete and Clayton wax poetic about the ongoing magic of LA—even after years, the city’s “vibe” hasn’t worn off.

7. Social Media, Content Creation, and Avoiding Doomscrolling

[84:56–85:40]

• Despite making most of his living as an online content creator, Clayton is self-critical of social media’s anxiety churn:

  "As someone that makes my most of my living from the Internet, am at a current point where...I don't go on social media....Because it's just funneling this, like, fear and anxiety....Go on your little U and, like, see what's, like, close to you and you're like...it's just the same as it was."
  —Clayton [85:21]

• He advocates for “local living,” daily walks in his neighborhood, being present, and greeting neighbors—the kind of analog socializing and kindness the internet can’t replace.

8. Meditation, Baseline Calm, and Cold Plunges

[62:32–66:18, 97:16–100:08]

• Meditating to calm a jumbled brain helped Clayton thrive in auditions, and fostered a more present, less anxious state.
• The pair bond over cold plunging—Clayton in Sequoia’s wild rivers, Pete in at-home tanks:

  "You get this, like, all day, like, little secret. The whole day....Something's going wrong and you're like, at least I have my little glow friend."
  —Pete [99:51]

• Both note the addictive, mood-boosting qualities of the practice.

9. Ghosts, Belief, and Healthy Open-Mindedness

[74:05–77:17]

• Pete and Clayton riff on ghosts, conspiracy thinking, and the value of being open—but not credulous—to mysteries and fringe beliefs.

  "I think it's a dangerous...well, it can be dangerous either way. But I find my life gets way richer and more interesting the more open I am about all things."
  —Pete [74:05]

• Clayton shares he never personally saw the supposed ghost in his childhood home—only his mother and sisters.

10. Joy, Community, and How to “Actually Be of Service”

[81:04–83:08]

• Both highlight small, actionable kindness as the antidote to anxiety about the world:

  "Sometimes we just go to the coffee shop...hold her hand, make a sandwich, talk with you, you know, talk with a neighbor."
  —Pete [81:05]

• Clayton likens his Silver Lake neighborhood to his own “U”—his daily circuit of familiar faces, coffee shops, and community.

11. Laughter, Embarrassment, and Childhood Memories

[100:12–103:02]

• Pete asks about the hardest Clayton has laughed. He recalls deep, bond-forging laughter with his sisters, and a specific childhood “core memory”:

  "I have a memory of being tickled by someone at like my church that I thought was like really cool or like picked up. And it made me. This is true. It made me fart....It became a humiliating moment for me."
  —Clayton [101:30]

• Pete and Clayton riff on the universally mortifying and bonding quality of “accidental” body humor.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

On validation from showbiz:

"You can endlessly, like, try to validate yourself by climbing and climbing and climbing."
—Clayton [23:34]

On the fleeting “high” of achievement:

"I felt happy about it for about 23 minutes...[then] everything fades. And, like, show business is just a bunch of people going, I bet the next one won't, though."
—Pete [25:44–26:16]

On being of service in an overwhelming world:

"By keeping myself or attempting to keep myself in a more like chill...more present...meditated place I can be more of service in the you around me and like to people around me..."
—Clayton [93:56]

On “making your own U":

"There's this, like...the road is a U...I'm always like, this is my little U. Where, like, I go to the different coffee shops every day, and I'm like, hey, Kevin, Like I see my different people on the U…I’m smiling at people, which scares people sometimes."
—Clayton [82:13]

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Memorable Segments & Timestamps

• Brunch, tattoos, and fake origins: [03:07–05:45]
• Alcohol, sobriety, and the Groucho Marx “club” riff: [06:11–08:09]
• Oprah’s imprint on self-help culture: [14:08–16:16]
• Acting as identity/work ethic (Hotel manager stories): [31:16–41:19]
• Celebrity weight, media cruelty (Kirstie Alley/Oprah): [13:05–14:23]
• Booking jobs and the fleeting high—validation and disappointment: [25:27–26:16]
• Meditation, calm, and presence as superpower (acting): [64:26–65:59]
• Cold plunges—shared ritual, endorphin high: [97:16–100:08]
• Belief, ghosts, openness, and balancing skepticism with wonder: [74:03–77:17]
• Laughter, fart stories, and childhood humiliation: [100:12–103:02]

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The Tone

The episode is playful, thoughtful, vulnerable, and rich with self-deprecating humor. Both Pete and Clayton bring a mixture of “universal weirdness” and relatable, 2020s anxieties—balancing jokes about brunch and ghosts with earnest discussions about presence, belonging, and finding meaning beyond fleeting social media fame or industry victories.

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For Listeners

If you are struggling to keep up with the pace of life, hustling for showbiz (or other) validation, or just yearning for a non-toxic, open-minded, slightly weird chat about what really matters—this episode is for you. You’ll laugh, reflect, and, as Pete and Clayton repeat, perhaps remember to “be nice to the first person you see” (87:06)—and to “keep it crispy.”

Transcript

[Clayton Ferris]

Lemonade. You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

[Pete Holmes]

What's happening weirdos? This is the delightful, hilarious, funny, interesting Clayton Farris, who you may know from social media because he's delightful, hilarious and interesting all over your social media. Laytonferris on all, on all on all your medias with 1s, f, a R R I S. Get into it. But you also may have seen him and we talk quite a bit about it in the movie Weapons and all sorts of other things. House of Glass, American Meltdown. He's in a new movie called Roadhead, which is the funniest name for a movie ever. I'm sorry, that already came out. 2020 roadhead. I thought it was 2025 roadhead. So check him out. He's so funny. He's such a delight. I was just blown away. I had such a fun time and I'm so glad you guys are here to check him out. Not too much to plug, as I always say, up top and then I go unplugging stuff. But I am on the. I am on the road. I'm on tour. And if you listen to this, the day it comes out, I'm about to be in New York, New York at Town hall on November 14th for followed by New Jersey, Milwaukee, Brea, San Francisco, North Carolina, South Carolina. Say it with me. You know these by now. Miami, Michigan, Madison, Wisconsin and Denver, Colorado. I'm absolutely loving this tour that I'm on right now. Matt McCarthy is part of the show. It's a, it's my favorite hour that I've ever done and it always means so much when weirdos come out. So please, if you can come to a show, go to PeteHomes.com for tickets to all of those. And in the meantime, enjoy my chat with my new friend, the the wonderful, hilarious Clayton Ferris. Get into it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Hey there, it's Julia Louis Dreyfus. I'm back with a new season of Wiser Than Me, the show where I sit down with remarkable older women and soak up their stories, their humor and their hard earned wisdom. Every conversation leaves me a little smarter and definitely more inspired. And yes, I'm still calling my 91 year old mom Judy to get get her take on it all. Wiser Than Me from lemonade Media premieres November 12th. Wherever you get your podcasts.

[Pete Holmes]

It'S morning in New York.

[Clayton Ferris]

Hey everybody, I'm Mandy Patinkin.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm Kathryn Grody and we have.

[Clayton Ferris]

A new podcast, it's called Don't Listen to Us.

[Pete Holmes]

Many of you have asked for our.

[Clayton Ferris]

Advice Tell me what is wrong with you people? Don't listen to us.

[Pete Holmes]

Our take it or leave it advice.

[Clayton Ferris]

Show is out every Wednesday, premiering October 15th. A Lemonada Media original.

[Pete Holmes]

Is it audience okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

I don't want to cause any pressure.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it does change the dynamic. Does it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not in a bad way.

[Clayton Ferris]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That would be shitty if I was like, oh, it sucks. It doesn't suck.

[Clayton Ferris]

It.

[Pete Holmes]

It. You'll see me. I'll be looking at you to see. Yeah. Just know I'll say something. I look at Katie too, but I just go like, so you're. You've burdened yourself, my friend. You're now. You're now a burdened person. Lovely. What is your tattoo? A little scary baby. She's a little doll. Is it like Bioshock? What is that from? No, it's just. Just a scary little baby. I get a really good sense of you. I feel like I know you because of these tattoos and everything. Yeah. Are you Spanish? I'm from Brazil. Brazil. I gave you the compliment too. I went to Spain. Nothing wrong with Brazil, but I. To me, what's better than Barcelona? That's what I mean. So you have. You're like a Brazilian with a Spanish flare. Oh, I'll take that.

[Clayton Ferris]

There you are.

[Pete Holmes]

Can we turn the cameras this way?

[Clayton Ferris]

I'm like, you guys are doing great.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. Clay not from Brazil. No, decidedly not. I'm mad. Yeah. I'm so happy.

[Clayton Ferris]

I'm just going to like, laugh the whole time that we do this.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm glad you're here, man.

[Clayton Ferris]

I'm so glad to be here.

[Pete Holmes]

Let's shift gears. I was just talking to Andy and now I have to. And now we're. Now have to. I keep saying the wrong.

[Clayton Ferris]

I know. Like, you were. Yeah. You went.

[Pete Holmes]

Of course.

[Clayton Ferris]

Like, when I get here, it's construction. Construction happen.

[Pete Holmes]

Can we close it? Katie, how do you feel? Just. Cuz we can hear it. Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

If you don't hear it, it's fine by me. I just feel like that follows. It follows me.

[Pete Holmes]

I can hear it. That's going to bother me. This. Actually, the people that own this house. Before we moved here, I think he was a music producer. And I think this room is pretty well insulated. Soundproof. Yeah. So feel. Feel good. Feel comfortable. Let's talk about these shoes. What are we doing here? We got.

[Clayton Ferris]

I just wanted to be comfortable. These are called brunch shoes.

[Pete Holmes]

Are they called brunch?

[Clayton Ferris]

They're called brunch.

[Pete Holmes]

Brunch yeah, it's not quite dinner, it's not quite breakfast and brunch. It's not quite lunch.

[Clayton Ferris]

It's.

[Pete Holmes]

Comes with a slice of melon at the end.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah, Blunch.

[Pete Holmes]

Blunch. Why not?

[Clayton Ferris]

Why not blunch? Why didn't they call?

[Pete Holmes]

Lunch's agent was pushing for blunch.

[Clayton Ferris]

And breakfast did not go through.

[Pete Holmes]

No, because let's be real, brunch is so much more breakfast than it is lunch.

[Clayton Ferris]

100%. It should just be called breakfast.

[Pete Holmes]

Late breakfast.

[Clayton Ferris]

Late breakfast.

[Pete Holmes]

Do you want to go. And you know what? You can call that breakfast, right? Oh, I'm sorry. It's 11am so it's a new meal. Unless there's like a. Can I get a turkey sandwich at brunch?

[Clayton Ferris]

No, no, no. You can get eggs and pancakes.

[Pete Holmes]

Are you bringing me coke or.

[Clayton Ferris]

No, coffee and orange juice.

[Pete Holmes]

Coffee and orange juice?

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

They just wanted alcohol, so they were like, it's kind of like lunch, right? Shut up.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah, they're like, no, they're like, it's okay to get up in the morning if it's champagne.

[Pete Holmes]

Dude, I used to get lit. That's actually where I started. Do you booze it still? No, judge.

[Clayton Ferris]

Not like a.

[Pete Holmes]

Not like a guy's in weapons all of a sudden he's.

[Clayton Ferris]

Well, I, I, I'm.

[Pete Holmes]

Big hit movie.

[Clayton Ferris]

I will say I'm fresh off one. A year and a half of complete.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, year and a half.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah, sobriety.

[Pete Holmes]

That totally counts. I, I misread your.

[Clayton Ferris]

You were.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, saying you're new to the club.

[Clayton Ferris]

But what I will say is I, I don't want to say that I'm completely sober because I like, if I do drink here and there, it's not, I'm not gonna, like.

[Pete Holmes]

You're the flexitarian of alcohol, I think. So you're a flalcoholic.

[Clayton Ferris]

While fully knowing it does not work for me.

[Pete Holmes]

You're not alone. We're very similar age. This is the kind. This is how we talk. By the way, if anyone's ever seen two guys of this age in a park, we're talking about, like. I know, but I don't want to say I'm completely off it. But you've been off it for a year and a half.

[Clayton Ferris]

Well, and I went to, I dabbled in like, you know, the rooms and I, so, But I don't. So I.

[Pete Holmes]

You went to some programs?

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah, I did.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, well, yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

So now I don't want to say I'm completely sober because if someone sees me out and I'm like, have A drink. I don't want to. I don't want to, like, lie, you know, I'm not trying to lie.

[Pete Holmes]

Never. I never went to the program, and I love. I have friends that are in it, and I think they're annoyed because I sort of use them as, like, my sponsor. Like, get a lot of their inspiration and their talks and stuff, and I love it. But I never went for a lot of reasons. One was I didn't. I felt false claiming it. I was so much more of a habitual. Not that you need to be, as Robin Williams said, waking up with your car keys in your house, like, to go to a program.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But I did feel kind of like, I just want to do this.

[Clayton Ferris]

I'm the same. And because I feel false claiming anything. I don't like claiming anything, like, 100% like that.

[Pete Holmes]

Groucho Marx, Marjo Grouchs. You don't want any Grouch. I don't want any club that would allow me to be the treasurer. Say, that was, like, Gallagher, too. It was his brother, Marcho Grouchs.

[Clayton Ferris]

I'm already having a great time.

[Pete Holmes]

I was just.

[Clayton Ferris]

I just was like.

[Pete Holmes]

I didn't want to call it out, but. Brunt.

[Clayton Ferris]

Brunch. Brunch.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait, what was it? Blunch. I blunch. Solid ref.

[Clayton Ferris]

I just wanted to come.

[Pete Holmes]

No, Marcho Grouch.

[Clayton Ferris]

Be on the opposite side of your riff and just, like, experience it.

[Pete Holmes]

No. That's so fun. I just had a younger person say, wow, what it must be like in that mind. And I was like, oh, I'm the guy. I know. It was weird. That was the right.

[Clayton Ferris]

That's a read.

[Pete Holmes]

That was the right face.

[Clayton Ferris]

It was a judgment, as they say.

[Pete Holmes]

Swing. Oh, yeah. You think there was a judge.

[Clayton Ferris]

What's it like in that mind of yours?

[Pete Holmes]

I took it as, like, I don't think anyone said that to me because I'm so established. I have my friends, I have my family. Right. I don't meet a lot of outside people that are just like. I know. And when I. The reason I pointed out that she was young is. That's a young thing to say is you're still developing your brain and you're like, wow, to get lost with a candelabra in that hall of mirrors.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. But you also have an intimidating brain in a way.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I like this very much because.

[Clayton Ferris]

So, like, I shouldn't.

[Pete Holmes]

I do.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. I think because, like. Is this the podcast recording? Okay, great.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that hasn't happened in a while.

[Clayton Ferris]

No, I just meant, like, I loved it. I meant like the whole thing with.

[Pete Holmes]

Andy, that's all going. You're shifting gears. But don't you see that I've shifted gears to you?

[Clayton Ferris]

I do. I saw that. I'm so glad you did.

[Pete Holmes]

I know. Imagine if I was still like talking to Andy.

[Clayton Ferris]

Or her who I didn't even meet.

[Pete Holmes]

That's the great. Katie and I go way back, long friends. We're like, if we ever did go to lunch, it would be very comfortable not talking.

[Clayton Ferris]

That's a great.

[Pete Holmes]

And I mean that as a very. Of course I would talk with Katie. But I'm just saying like we're very comfortable with each other.

[Clayton Ferris]

That's great.

[Pete Holmes]

Because I'm an uncomfortable person regarding energies. So anyway, go on the mind.

[Clayton Ferris]

Well, I was saying you. I understand that that is a young thing to say. But also it's like, I think you could have an intimidation, intimidating mind to some people because it's really quick and fast and I think that that's like.

[Pete Holmes]

I know what you mean.

[Clayton Ferris]

You know what I mean?

[Pete Holmes]

Because I, it's weird to agree with that, but the times when I've had like a little car accident and I've had a concussion and I get really slow, like I went through like an almost six month period where I didn't feel like myself and then I would meet people that talk like me or, or their, their brains work at this pace. Right. And I'd be like, yeah, you're like, I'm done, get out of here. But I didn't like it. It's a. You know, just because you have that gear doesn't mean you need to. Right.

[Clayton Ferris]

You like slowed down as normal people's speed, you know, that's it.

[Pete Holmes]

I hate to say so, but that's it.

[Clayton Ferris]

So no one was like, what's going on with him? No, no.

[Pete Holmes]

They were like, who's this charming young man? And I'm like, I'm in quicksand. This is very self serving and I like it. Yeah, but you're a quick em.

[Clayton Ferris]

I'm quick, yeah. I try. I think I am. I'm. I like to surround myself with people that are. It's fun to be around people that like riff and bit and all that stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

And if I don't find myself in that place, I feel like I'm like I'm dying. What's wrong with me? It's like you're just like.

[Pete Holmes]

And yet I'll do so many things that inhibit my ability to live fully because life is overwhelming.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

I'll Catch myself smoking weed. Another reason I don't claim full sobriety. But, like, I'll occasionally smoke weed.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then, like, the next day, I'll be slower. 3% slower.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

But then. Then I'll be like, it's not so bad. And then I'll smoke again. Then I'm 6% slower. Yes. Then when I creep into 27% lower, I'm like, I literally just forgot my daughter's friend's name. And that's like, this didn't really happen. But that's like. Would be a core memory for her. Like, she'd be like, I'm unimportant. You know what I mean? Like, I worry about that. So I'm like, why am I. And I'm saying this as a. As I've been under control for a while. There are other times of the year where I might not be so disciplined, but I go like, why am I negotiating with memory and functionality to kind of feel occasionally like I'm in a hot tub, but I'm on my couch? Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

[Clayton Ferris]

But that's your, like, tell. You know that something's, like, off when.

[Pete Holmes]

I want to smoke.

[Clayton Ferris]

No, when you're, like, when you're like, wait, I'm, like, having trouble remembering something or, like, that's your kind of like, okay, I need to, like, get sober, or I need to, like, clean up.

[Pete Holmes]

Are you that way? Because I do go up, and then I go down and go. And it's not even. When I say that. It sounds like manic depression or something. It's not that. It's what I see life to be. It's like phases where you're exercising, phases where you're not phases where you're healthy, phases where you're eating nine pizzas or whatever it might be.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

But I really related to Kirstie Alley in the. In the 80s. And I'm not even joking. Remember Kirstie Alley? Like, the news was always like, she's heavy again. But it was the 80s, so they're like, fatso on the loose. Like, I'm not. I'm not using that word.

[Clayton Ferris]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, totally in New York, Fatso's back again. And below that, it would be like Iraq moving arms. Right.

[Clayton Ferris]

And like, look at.

[Pete Holmes]

That's large.

[Clayton Ferris]

Those were the choices of the news.

[Pete Holmes]

They're like, I'm trying to write a story of something pop culture about Kirsty.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. But put those in Kirsty Alley story first, of course.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's the headliner. Right. She's back on bread, folks. It would just show her eating bread. I want those that don't understand this riff and think I'm just being mean to know that Kirsty Alley's up and.

[Clayton Ferris]

Down weight was a big topic of conversation.

[Pete Holmes]

That was the Super Bowl.

[Clayton Ferris]

A lot of women's weight was a topic of conversation in the 80s and 90s.

[Pete Holmes]

It was a time when there was absolutely. We were so Oprah's was too. Oprah too.

[Clayton Ferris]

Oprah too.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Oprah too. God, it's so funny how Oprah is such a. And I don't know. I'm not saying Kirsty's not, but I was very comfortable. But I'm not doing that for Oprah because, honestly, she got it so much.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And yeah, she's.

[Clayton Ferris]

I had the thought recently. She is. And I had the thought recently that, like, I am kind of the way I am as like, a spiritual seeker type of person or like, more like into that sort of stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Podcast. That's when you're, like, showing me some ankle. You know, I like it.

[Clayton Ferris]

I do know you like it.

[Pete Holmes]

All right. You do a little twirl. Your skirt comes up. Yeah, I dabble, all right.

[Clayton Ferris]

I dabble in meditation.

[Pete Holmes]

I know when to tell you humorlessly write a note I didn't know while looking at you. Fun. We've been skipping that a lot on a lot of guests. Keep going so well.

[Clayton Ferris]

But. Oh, so.

[Pete Holmes]

But.

[Clayton Ferris]

But I think that's why a lot of people my age. Our age are. Are very into self help. And that sort of thing is because we don't really realize how important Oprah's place was in developing that for young minds like ours. Because I would come home from school and literally I would watch Oprah and it would always be a self help thing.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Clayton Ferris]

It would be like she has something about. And. And that. That literally at a younger age, got in my head and was like, all right, always be fixing yourself.

[Pete Holmes]

That's. Yeah, I was just. And I went right to self help. Yeah. And I love it. Just the titles.

[Clayton Ferris]

So.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, you'll get a little bump from the titles. But do you mean that started a lifelong addiction of, like, well, I think something's wrong, Clayton.

[Clayton Ferris]

I think maybe a little bit of like. Yeah, like, what is the thing that's wrong with me that I'm always trying to fix? And then also the good. The good parts of it that are just, like, more simple and sweeter, you know, Like, I think that sort of thing. I'm not blaming Oprah for my own.

[Pete Holmes]

Thought you were celebrating.

[Clayton Ferris]

I am celebrating.

[Pete Holmes]

But also, there is a tricky and acknowledging to constantly fixing yourself.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes, both.

[Pete Holmes]

It can be both.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Because I also remember watching Oprah and being like, what is this?

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I loved it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Somebody was talking about, like, inner reality, you know, like.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Feelings.

[Clayton Ferris]

Totally.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, behaviors. And I didn't meet a person that was like, I'm working on that. No.

[Clayton Ferris]

No one in my. Around me at the time was. Except Oprah. No one else in my family. No one else in my family was watching Oprah. It's just me.

[Pete Holmes]

It was. It was just me. And there was a shame to it because there was a time when Oprah had a foot in each pool. Remember, she would have, like, the Nazi boys that, like, want to cancel swing dancing.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And should talk to them. So. Right. Little Phil Donahue.

[Clayton Ferris]

So people still think of her as Phil Donahue, but I don't. I think of her as, like, spiritual.

[Pete Holmes]

Of course. No, but she changed. She. She shifted. She's like the Beatles.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Or Radiohead. Like, she.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

She kept putting out, like, complete. Completely different. She did acid and she won't do creep anymore. You did Beatles. I did radio. Right. Well, together we'll get every riff right turned over. I don't know if you'll get a laugh, but the. The stone will be turned over.

[Clayton Ferris]

That's okay.

[Pete Holmes]

You'll see a worm. I didn't mean you. I mean, just us. We're both going for laughs, so. Okay. Yeah, go ahead.

[Clayton Ferris]

I don't know. I don't know if I'm going for laughs.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't have to worry about that. I don't mean because I. I'll get him. I mean, like, it's not that kind of.

[Clayton Ferris]

It's not that kind of show. Well, the other thing I was going to say is, like, I. When I moved to la, and I don't think. How long have you been doing this podcast? Like, a long time. 10 years.

[Pete Holmes]

Over. Over 10 years. 12 years.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. So, like, early days of this podcast, I would go to the gym in Atwater and I would always listen to your podcast. So that's why, like, this is, like, a fun moment for me because I would always listen to your podcast. And it was interesting to me because I was like, oh, there's like, this comedian that's also talking about, like, God and Woo W stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

And I was like. I guess that's just. Just what? Like, la's like.

[Pete Holmes]

And you know what?

[Clayton Ferris]

It's not.

[Pete Holmes]

It. No, it is.

[Clayton Ferris]

It is a lot.

[Pete Holmes]

It is A lot. There's. There's all kinds.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But there's a lot of. Especially when I was like, a raw vegan. I'm, like, really interested in that stuff.

[Clayton Ferris]

Was that early in that part?

[Pete Holmes]

Raw vegan stuff? Don't you dare interview me, Clayton. This is your time to shine. But when I was doing my talk show and it was frankly very easy to be a raw vegan, because here in LA Pas that would bring everyone lunch. Say, I would like this place for lunch.

[Clayton Ferris]

So it was very easy. But there were places, too, that were like, raw vegan places.

[Pete Holmes]

There were more places.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I feel like LA went throughout time.

[Clayton Ferris]

Where there was a lot of that. Now it's a lot of meat. Carnivore.

[Pete Holmes]

Andrew Huberman, Joe Rogan. I'm not even mad at these guys. I'm just saying, like, I watched an old 30 rock. They're all old. There's no new 30 rocks.

[Clayton Ferris]

It's true.

[Pete Holmes]

I watched one and they were doing, like, Tracy Morgan's character was doing his own George Foreman grill. And it was this idea that, like, you could grill three meats into one, like, meat thing. And. Andrew. Andrew.

[Clayton Ferris]

Chris Turducken.

[Pete Holmes]

Andrew Turducken. Thank you. That's when you know something's wrong with me. Andrew Turducken. Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

You need to stop smoking weed. You've.

[Pete Holmes]

This is me off.

[Clayton Ferris]

You've passed over.

[Pete Holmes]

I've crossed over than 32%.

[Clayton Ferris]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

Chris Barnell, who plays Dr. Spitzer. Who cares? What am I giving a CIA briefing?

[Clayton Ferris]

Well, here's what I think is important about it. It used to be like, oh, raw vegan is like, the thing. The, like, LA healthy thing. And now it's literally like carnivore meat eaters. That's what the healthy thing.

[Pete Holmes]

So the joke. So Dr. Spechemon, who's like the idiot doctor on the show, was like, I think you need to eat more meat. And the joke was, imagine if a doctor said, right? Like, that was like, what?

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And now.

[Clayton Ferris]

And now they say it.

[Pete Holmes]

That's all they. A health food is a steak. And by the way, this is also what old guys our age are talking about.

[Clayton Ferris]

Raw, organic.

[Pete Holmes]

Going like, are eggs good or not? They say it's good. They say it's bad. We're in the Dunkin Donuts in Arlington. They say, steak is good. Now, dumb.

[Clayton Ferris]

But I feel like I'm the one saying that stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, no, I'm saying it too. Yeah. Oprah, right? And Kirsty Allen, she would not say.

[Clayton Ferris]

A steak is good. Remember the Oprah steak thing where it's like, she brought up. She brought the wagon out. She got. She sued the beef industry.

[Pete Holmes]

What?

[Clayton Ferris]

Or yes, this happened. There was a huge thing where, like, the beef industry sued.

[Pete Holmes]

Was the headline Oprah's got beef because she's beefed.

[Clayton Ferris]

It was. What's the beef?

[Pete Holmes]

Now she's bathing with the beef industry for making her beefy. It was the 80s.

[Clayton Ferris]

This is true. Does no one remember this? Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, wow.

[Clayton Ferris]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what.

[Clayton Ferris]

That's why he's here.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow. Brazil.

[Clayton Ferris]

Brazil.

[Pete Holmes]

How do you say decaf coffee? Cafe?

[Clayton Ferris]

He's like, decaf coffee.

[Pete Holmes]

Nadu. Jeez cafe. Jeez cafe.

[Clayton Ferris]

You're not saying cheese Cafe.

[Pete Holmes]

Malibu cafe. Nadu. And nadu means decaf.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because isn't decaf like a sword? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no short. Okay. There's no what? There's no short. Look, we're learning. We are learning. Everybody just got on duolingo. You didn't even know. Look at your phone. What if it was. Look at your phone. You're on duolingo now. Okay. Sorry about that. Always thought there was no way to say it in Spanish because that's pointless brown water and no one needs it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Like, I thought all of that's why he was like. He was, like, decaffeinated just means. Would you.

[Pete Holmes]

Have you ever had a decaf coffee?

[Clayton Ferris]

You would say, absolutely not.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right. That's right. By the way, the lawsuit was Texas Beef Group versus Oprah Winfrey. It happened in 1998.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And all this show about Max. Oh, mad cow. She was mad.

[Clayton Ferris]

Oh, right.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. Oprah's mad.

[Clayton Ferris]

Mad cow disease was a thing, too. When.

[Pete Holmes]

By the way, that's, you know, one sniffling calf away from being just back.

[Clayton Ferris]

No one's talking about it, though.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't.

[Clayton Ferris]

Thank God.

[Pete Holmes]

My. The only thing you need to know is that a hamburger has thousands of cows in it. And then you realize you're buying a ticket. I hate. I hate what I'm talking about right now. This is the worst. When I was really newly vegan and I couldn't stop talking about it. I love telling people that.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It is a disturbing fact. Talk about if you go to, like, a Arby's or something. Not Arby's.

[Clayton Ferris]

I mean, I probably just. Any steak is like that. How could they keep on. I mean, hamburger meat? Like, how could they keep it separate? You know?

[Pete Holmes]

They don't.

[Clayton Ferris]

They couldn't.

[Pete Holmes]

They can't. They wouldn't if they could.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right. And they shouldn't and they should if they tried.

[Pete Holmes]

And they won't. They won't try. So. Okay, I'm with you, Oprah. And then we're also talking about being an up and down person.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

Oh, yeah. Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And is this. Am I. It's a leading question, but does this. Is this what drew you to performing?

[Clayton Ferris]

I mean, yeah, like, I'm slowly figuring out, like, oh, yeah. Like, I have to. I have to. I mean, yeah, it's so cliche, you know, but it's like.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, but we can find how it's unique.

[Clayton Ferris]

It's really just like you. You kind of realize, like, oh, everything like this, this performing, like Hollywood, being an actor, whatever. It's. There's. There's like an endless ceiling. So you can endlessly, like, try to validate yourself by climbing and climbing and climbing.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Clayton Ferris]

And yeah, I mean, a little bit.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm not even trying to be funny. Like, you know how Scientology has, like, tears, right? And when you get to tier 7, then they're like. And now, you know, the stairway. And after you get to the top of the stairway, they're like, welcome to LA Montana. Yeah, I did it for him. And then. So there's always a new thing to climb. Show business. It's funny that we all or so many people roll their eyes at Scientology. I'm like, we in it. Like, we're in our own version of it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, you got a Golden Globe.

[Clayton Ferris]

Kirsty Alley.

[Pete Holmes]

Kirsty Alley. Nice.

[Clayton Ferris]

A Scientologist.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, I got it. Nobody did. Nobody else did. I'm just kidding. But, like, the endless. You can. It's a leaky bucket. You'll never just. Not a lot of people in LA just walking around feeling super fulfilled. They're trying that next thing.

[Clayton Ferris]

I think it's weird that it just attracts so many people here because everyone relates to it. I'm sure, like, there's versions of it in every, like, profession. But for some reason, that here is so clear to become so clear. Even like the small successes I. I've had, I'm like, if you have that moment where you're like, oh, yeah, like, it's gonna just. I'm just gonna keep. Keep trying to climb, keep getting these hits that fill me up. And they just. They fill you up for shorter and shorter amounts of time, right?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it's everything. Yeah, I. I bought. I had to get a new iPhone, which we can unpack that. Like, you do the update and you're like, I know this is gonna my phone up. And they know that I know that.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like it's maxing the phone out on storage. It's made for all these things my phone doesn't have.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it kills it. I was really thinking about this. I was like, the first thing that stopped working was the Starbucks app, which it just wouldn't work because of the update. And Google Calendar didn't work. So I just didn't know where to go. And I was tired. Like, it was just a bad situation. So I had to update.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And of course, I felt okay about that because it had been a few years and I was like, I get a new phone and then just. Believe it or not, this ties back to what you were saying. I felt happy about it for about 23 minutes.

[Clayton Ferris]

The new phone, I had it right.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't get me wrong. There's micro bumps of like, oh, it's fun that it's running so smoothly. Or whatever. Shiny. But then, like, everything fades. And, like, show business is just a bunch of people going, I bet the next one won't, though. Like, there's a lot of us.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'd like to think. I. I don't think maybe either of us are that way. But, like, you do have to kind of find out for yourself.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. And of course that fades. But also, like, the feeling that you have about yourself is what you're just trying to actually deep. You know, like the. To me, it's like that feeling of like, oh, I'm good. I'm doing. I'm. I'm a good person. I. I'm worthy. Whatever.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm valid.

[Clayton Ferris]

I'm valid. That is easy to kind of, like, think about or comprehend if someone's telling you you are. Because you're like, booking a job or something like that.

[Pete Holmes]

Absolutely. The best part of a movie is booking a movie. Agree.

[Clayton Ferris]

Totally.

[Pete Holmes]

The best part.

[Clayton Ferris]

That's the best part.

[Pete Holmes]

Filming a movie. I'm not. Look, it's a privilege to be in any movie, and I'm grateful. But a lot of it is not. It's not. I always say, like, eating lunch at 1am Right.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. It's like, sometimes can be boring. Or like, there's so many things. But also I always say, like, separately, I'm like, I'm so glad. I also like being an actor. Yeah. Because it's like two separate things.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right. You know, and I think all the best actors, I got the feeling that, like, you know, some of my faves, like Joaquin Phoenix, I don't think they're, like, crazy about showbiz. I think they don't like it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I would imagine you do get a rush from it. I mean, do you get like a. I don't want to say a hit? I would drug language. But you do get a good feeling. You do a scene. It was challenging.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Too challenging. Just challenging enough. Stretched. Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

I think for. What I like about it is just like. What I like about acting is like, the. Just, like, trying. Like that. That attempt of getting it right or trying something. Or just like, those few moments where you get, like, lost in it and you're like, oh, that was like, I did it. That was acting. Or, like, I actually went somewhere. Like, it's like you're trying to chase that sort of, like, feeling.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. To me, when you do it, you.

[Clayton Ferris]

Know when you do it, and you can always try to do it, and it's always available to you to try to do.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

That makes sense. Yeah. Or just, like, making up the story with, like, this. It's like, I like those elements of it.

[Pete Holmes]

What do you mean, making up the story?

[Clayton Ferris]

Just, like, making up the. The, like, what's around, like. No, like, making up what's around, like, this. Like, if you're reading a scene out of a movie or out of a play, you're like, okay, so I'm gonna, like, kind of imagine all the world around this and making up how I feel about it. Or like, just those sorts of. Yeah, the playful things.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah. About imaginative.

[Clayton Ferris]

The imaginative stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm not gonna go into it. Every actor I talk to, I talk about how, like, it took me a really long time to figure out that that wasn't dumb because I. When I was shooting, crashing, it was just like, just say what I wrote. Yeah, just say it. Like, very David man to the actors. I didn't say that.

[Clayton Ferris]

But that was your thought.

[Pete Holmes]

Private thought. Right. Was like, you know what you should do? Just move the story forward by saying, your car has been towed. Like, that would be great. Yeah. And, you know, these real actors would be like, I feel like my keys wouldn't be on a Caribbean. And I'm just like, you gotta get the fuck out of my life.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And now I'm realizing. And I'd love your take on this. It's like, there's a real opportunity with acting to get more out of it by putting more into it. Would you agree with that?

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah, I mean, I. That's why I think, like. I think when they say, like, character actors, I think that means it's that type of actor that's, like, doing Something to try to figure it out.

[Pete Holmes]

Funny that we have a special term for it. This guy's taking it serious.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah, this guy's a serious actor that wants.

[Pete Holmes]

Because, you know, and I've been this actor many times. Yeah. A lot of us are just showing up and being ourselves, saying the lines. You know what I mean?

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm not saying that there's nothing.

[Clayton Ferris]

I've never been able to do that. Like, I've never been able to do that because I always feel like when I get a job at the level I'm at, I have to be like, I have to deliver. Like, I have to. Like. You know what I mean?

[Pete Holmes]

Like, I'm like Batman version. I have to.

[Clayton Ferris]

I have to fucking deliver this or not, or they're gonna fire me. But, like, I'll be a butler.

[Pete Holmes]

The only job he knows, I'll have to be a butler.

[Clayton Ferris]

I'm gonna. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

He only knows Alfred. He knows fighting crime.

[Clayton Ferris]

And the backup plan is his butler. He's like, I'm not gonna be a butler. That job sucks.

[Pete Holmes]

Remember when you were in school? You were like, maybe I'll be a teacher. He's just like, maybe I'll be Alfred.

[Clayton Ferris]

So my claim to fame is my sixth grade yearbook says I want to. It says, what do you want to be when you grow up? And mine says hotel manager.

[Pete Holmes]

And because you went on a trip and there was a kind one and.

[Clayton Ferris]

I just loved hotels and I used to. I used to draw hotels and be like, here's the pool. And then that's gonna be the.

[Pete Holmes]

You're Ralph Fiennes. You were just way ahead of the Grand Budapest.

[Clayton Ferris]

Exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

Because that movie makes hotel manager seem like.

[Clayton Ferris]

But I also look like a hotel manager.

[Pete Holmes]

You do look like a hotel manager. Which brings us back to character actor. Because, you know, there's so many die hard, square jawed Luke Perry's. I love Luke Perry. Not putting them down. I'm just saying. And then it turns out in L. A we need hotel managers.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

We don't need that.

[Clayton Ferris]

And no matter what you thought or I thought, I was never not a character actor. You know, it's not like I grew into it. It's like you just never were.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

And like, that's okay.

[Pete Holmes]

He's a real hotel manager type.

[Clayton Ferris]

And which is fine.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

And honestly, I was a hotel manager before I moved to la.

[Pete Holmes]

So, like, it came true.

[Clayton Ferris]

It came true.

[Pete Holmes]

Were you happy?

[Clayton Ferris]

No. Well, no, honestly, it was like a boutique hotel in Dallas. Like, I worked at this hotel called Hotel Zaza. Which was like a plate.

[Pete Holmes]

Like scissors. These. I don't like it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Hotel, baby. It was like work. Literally. The thing was like, work hard, play harder. And it was the first time I saw rich people, like, getting hookers and.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, wait, I'll add a slogan.

[Clayton Ferris]

The hotel had a slogan.

[Pete Holmes]

You deserve to pay for it.

[Clayton Ferris]

It was like, play. It was like, work hard, play harder.

[Pete Holmes]

So there's a business center and then just prostitutes.

[Clayton Ferris]

There was. It. I don't even know if it had a business center.

[Pete Holmes]

It was like, prostitutes, hard working. Sex employees.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah, like people. I never had any issues.

[Pete Holmes]

Good enough.

[Clayton Ferris]

I never had any issues with the sex workers. Just.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, go ahead. I said sex employees, which is. You're right. They're self. Self employed. I don't know. Yeah, I'm not. This riff is over.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah, I'm not riffing on that. I'm not jumping in on that.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, no. Sex, Sex. Work is work. But.

[Clayton Ferris]

But the whole point is I saw rich people, you know, partying and, like, getting what they wanted in any way that they wanted.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait, and you were behind the counter going like, oh, man.

[Clayton Ferris]

Going like, we'll keep our mouth shut kind of thing. Like, scene. Kind of like, you know, seen what you obviously knew was, like, an affair or like, rich people coming. I mean, I don't even. I feel like I can't.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like the John Wick Hotel.

[Clayton Ferris]

No, it was.

[Pete Holmes]

It was. You were the. The guy that worked at the front of the John Wick Hotel.

[Clayton Ferris]

It was.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't remember the name of it.

[Clayton Ferris]

It was an underbelly.

[Pete Holmes]

The Ambassador.

[Clayton Ferris]

I don't remember ever. I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

The Troubadour.

[Clayton Ferris]

The Zaza.

[Pete Holmes]

With. With X's. Someone's shouting at their old. The. Which is a great Christopher Walken sketch on SNL as well.

[Clayton Ferris]

And also a good brunch. Well, we're backside lunch.

[Pete Holmes]

So you watch people having, like, just. But you weren't envious? You were just sort of. Or were you? You tell me.

[Clayton Ferris]

No, no, not. I mean, it was a different world, you know? Like, I was like, definitely, like a service industry person. I was like. I'm like, for some reason, when I did my hotel stint, I was like a master, like, of, like, service. Like, I was like. I was really good at service.

[Pete Holmes]

That's great.

[Clayton Ferris]

Like, I was like, you know, like, I would do, like, magical things, like run people's bags up before they got to the room. So they were just, like, waiting there.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow. For no reason, but literally, like, physically exerting yourself, like, totally Risking us and.

[Clayton Ferris]

Just being like, I'm gonna make this magic.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

It's so weird.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it's not that I'm saying that, but it actually, that quality is. Is. Is maybe the best quality.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. Yeah. I never minded it, you know, I.

[Pete Holmes]

Liked being like people more than they expect.

[Clayton Ferris]

Giving people more than they expect. No reward.

[Pete Holmes]

Just so you can be like.

[Clayton Ferris]

Just so. Honestly, it's just so I could be like, that's going to make them feel good.

[Pete Holmes]

That's amazing. You're a generous lever. But you do.

[Clayton Ferris]

Did you say generous lever?

[Pete Holmes]

You're a generous lever. That's how I'm calling you a dick. That's what I call dicks. He had a big, generous.

[Clayton Ferris]

That guy.

[Pete Holmes]

You. I would cast you. Not that I don't mean to put myself in a power position over you, but I would.

[Clayton Ferris]

Are you cast?

[Pete Holmes]

I am casting.

[Clayton Ferris]

I, like, pulled out a headshot.

[Pete Holmes]

You would be perfect as the hotel manager who is envious of all the guys walking by.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Loosened cuffs with. With sex workers.

[Clayton Ferris]

Totally.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, it would be. And. But you would be outraged because you're a Midwestern, like a Cedar Rapids kind of guy, but you're sweating and you're talking about how disgusting it is, but you're clearly aroused wanting it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right. And then it cuts to, like, a dream sequence where it's me, like, in a hotel room with a tie tied on the side of my head like this.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm like, oh, even sadder. We play an Elliot Smith song.

[Clayton Ferris]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you're going in the room after they've had all their. And you put the tie on your head.

[Clayton Ferris]

Full lever hanging out.

[Pete Holmes]

The full lever is out. But you do. But you're flaccid because you know it's not yours.

[Clayton Ferris]

So it's prosthetic.

[Pete Holmes]

Because you're.

[Clayton Ferris]

So I request a prosthetic.

[Pete Holmes]

Look, you need to know this about Clayton. If he's on set, he's hard. So if you need a scene where he's flaccid. We have a prosthetic.

[Clayton Ferris]

We have a prosthetic.

[Pete Holmes]

And they're like, my God, it's huge.

[Clayton Ferris]

Bigger.

[Pete Holmes]

Much smaller than his. I went the other way.

[Clayton Ferris]

Okay. I was thinking it's funnier if the. The prosthetic. Flaccid is bigger.

[Pete Holmes]

There are. There are flaccid dildos. I remember doing a piece in an adult shop. Can I. Can the guy that won't stop.

[Clayton Ferris]

Can I say shop?

[Pete Holmes]

Can say things. Can I even say that? But there were flaccid dildos, which I thought was rather funny.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. Like, what are you gonna do with that?

[Pete Holmes]

But I plop it around on your face. Well, they caught the. The Cincinnati Oyster. I don't know why you made me riff this. That's your fault. The Cincinnati Oyster just slopping a flaccid went. And they told me it's for couples that might not have penises that want a more realistic. Like, I'm just walking around.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. For like, a show. It's like, to present. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

To present.

[Clayton Ferris]

Not to be used.

[Pete Holmes]

And then.

[Clayton Ferris]

I mean, stop saying.

[Pete Holmes]

This is. It could be used. It could be used because we all know the art. This is too filthy.

[Clayton Ferris]

We all know the art of putting the octopus in the cup.

[Pete Holmes]

Sometimes you mash what you've got where it's gonna be, and there's a movement. I've never, in the history of the show had the guest go for the mic. Cheers. It's intimate. You're like, the commander in chief isn't here.

[Clayton Ferris]

The way your mic hit was aggressive.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh.

[Clayton Ferris]

No. The.

[Pete Holmes]

The Cincinnati is flopping it around. Somebody. This is the. This is the. The gentleman's knock or the vulnerable knock, we'll call it. Superman's not here. Oh, no. Batman's not here. But the bat signals on. He'll be here.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

For now, here's a vague, gentle. The riff is still going. Mashing.

[Clayton Ferris]

I forgot what.

[Pete Holmes]

It came from you being a hotel manager in the room and you said your pants were up, so it's your fault. So then you're in Texas.

[Clayton Ferris]

But I'm glad you see me as that type.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I think you would nail it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Also a Giamatti or any of these great. Like. But you need that guy. That's kind of just like I want to. I believe you could sweat on command.

[Clayton Ferris]

Sure. The Internet always says I look like Stanley Tucci. They, like, always say, I'm Stanley Tucci coded chi. And I'm like, that's great.

[Pete Holmes]

You're too chi.

[Clayton Ferris]

I'm too chi. But I. I'm so scared to lose my hair.

[Pete Holmes]

So. Yeah, he didn't. That's a shave.

[Clayton Ferris]

That's a shave. Oh, interesting.

[Pete Holmes]

But that's what all of the shavers want us to think, right?

[Clayton Ferris]

He's like, this is a choice.

[Pete Holmes]

This is a shave.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. Tucci. Tucci.

[Pete Holmes]

Believe, believe. Love, love animals that go bald. Have you ever seen a lion that just probably.

[Clayton Ferris]

I mean, hairless cats are bald like.

[Pete Holmes]

A Devon Rex, but just in the main. Are Devon Rex is bald.

[Clayton Ferris]

Is that a hairless cat? Is that the scientific Word is a.

[Pete Holmes]

Type of hairless cat. But it's not like they have a cat and it has hair and they're like, oh, God damn it. You know what I mean?

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. It's all like. It's not like it's just a regular cat with alopecia.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what I'm saying.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Their species.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

It would be like, I have skin we're not supposed to have. Well, Robin Williams. He's back. Car keys up the ass. That was a hairy. So you're in Texas. True, Harry. I'm gonna have. And the Henderson's tattooed on my back.

[Clayton Ferris]

I have no hair on my back.

[Pete Holmes]

Me neither.

[Clayton Ferris]

Congrats.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, congrats.

[Clayton Ferris]

Congrats.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, so you're in Texas and you want to be an actor.

[Clayton Ferris]

Hotel manager.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. But you're a hotel manager in Texas, so.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah, I mean, ultimately, like, I. I did, like, theater and stuff around town, but I graduated from college with an art degree and just started working in hotels and then kind of got. And I always wanted. I never had anyone telling me, like, oh, this is the pursuit, or this is maybe how you could do it, or even. I never thought once in my life about moving to la. I sometimes would be like, oh, I could, like, go move to New York. But I never even thought about la, ever. Which is bizarre.

[Pete Holmes]

But I'm not really.

[Clayton Ferris]

I guess it's actually not really.

[Pete Holmes]

Love acting. So you're like, I'm gonna go. I just work and be on stage.

[Clayton Ferris]

Be, like, a theater person. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because I know that. Chicago. But, like, the pure route.

[Clayton Ferris]

The pure route, but even more so, like, I grew up doing a lot of, like, musical theater and just like, more like being around, like, the boisterous, like, energy of, like, theater people.

[Pete Holmes]

Birdman.

[Clayton Ferris]

The fun of it. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And Ed Norton's naked ass. And you're just like, I don't even care.

[Clayton Ferris]

But it wasn't even until later that I actually got really into, like, craft and acting and that sort of stuff that was, like, came way later.

[Pete Holmes]

When was that?

[Clayton Ferris]

That's it. Like, within, like, the last, like, 10 years, to be honest.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, but when did it. What's so. So we'll get to that.

[Clayton Ferris]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Let's not forget that when you're in Texas and you're like, I like plays, I like musical theater.

[Clayton Ferris]

I like plays. I like musical theater. I like making people laugh. I like being a performer. Started working in hotels, Ms. Theater, started doing theater again. Recession happened, got laid off. One of the people I was working with in LA or in Dallas. It was the AFI Film Festival, which was. You know, it was AFI Dallas. They had a festival at the time. So they were like, the. The festival was clients at the hotel when I was a manager. And I got. I befriended one of the people, and she was just like, you should come to la. You would love it there. And literally, when I got laid off, it was a little bit later, like six months later, but I just reached out to her and I was like, remember when you said maybe I should come to LA one time? Like, do you have anything going on? And she was like, yeah, there's a festival this summer. You can come work the ticket booth.

[Pete Holmes]

She's like, I do. In fact, she did. How do you like ticket booths?

[Clayton Ferris]

Honestly, I was like, great.

[Pete Holmes]

Really?

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Clayton Ferris]

And I left and I. And I had a house.

[Pete Holmes]

Sorry, guys. There's a ticket booth with my name on it. But.

[Clayton Ferris]

But, like, daring stuff to practice. But honestly, truth, I. I didn't give a flying. I didn't care. I was like, get me out of here. I was like. I was just like, there's. I was in this place of, like, there's something more for me. I gotta go. Yeah. You know, and. And literally, I came out here.

[Pete Holmes]

Him. To reference. To work.

[Clayton Ferris]

I don't have kids to. To work.

[Pete Holmes]

This is done.

[Clayton Ferris]

I can't.

[Pete Holmes]

I only talk to people with children. Great. Jk.

[Clayton Ferris]

I know, I know. Do you want to build a snowman? I know. Of course they do.

[Pete Holmes]

Into the unknown. It's just a song about hearing a call on the wind. I think you'd love it.

[Clayton Ferris]

I'm going to Google it when I get home.

[Pete Holmes]

But you did. You felt a call.

[Clayton Ferris]

I felt a call in the wind in the wind to be a ticket.

[Pete Holmes]

Take your beautiful ice gown. I think we're talking about the same thing here.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And so you were, like, excited. This is. I love this.

[Clayton Ferris]

It was more. It was an opportunity to shake up anything. And it wasn't even like, oh, I'm gonna go pursue acting. It was just like, I'm gonna get out of Dallas for the summer. Like, I'm gonna go for the summer. And I came out here. I worked. The festival happened to be the Outfest Film Festival. So, like, the second day I got to la, I was at, like, LA Pride without fest, passing out, like, flyers to come to. To come to Outfest.

[Pete Holmes]

And I was like, in a little closet.

[Clayton Ferris]

No, they were like, fully. Like, it was. You know, like it was. And even back then, it was probably a hornier festival than it is now. Like, the. The Pride Festival. It was like, what year? Like, 2009. Ish.

[Pete Holmes]

I feel like not every phone had a video feature.

[Clayton Ferris]

Totally. It was almost like I didn't even have an iPhone at this time. This was like, pre.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what I mean. Yeah. There was a time when reality had a crackle to it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And you might. And.

[Clayton Ferris]

And so coming to LA in that moment. And I lived in Echo park above the shortstop, and I was just like, this is like. I was like, oh, my God. I'm, like, alive in a city. That's crazy. And there's, like, this bus would come by every night. It would, like, shake my apartment, and the lady was cooking hot dogs on the street, and the bar would let out at 2am every night.

[Pete Holmes]

Is Lin Manuel Miranda doing the music for this? Because you're like, I'm above the short stuff. There's hot dogs.

[Clayton Ferris]

I was like. I was at the Short Stop, smelling.

[Pete Holmes]

Hot dogs.

[Clayton Ferris]

Wafting up. But, like, that was the experience in there.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. And you were just in Texas.

[Clayton Ferris]

I had just been in Texas, and I was from Dallas, which is a city, but it still felt so, like.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

Like, small and mundane and whatever. And then I came to, like, a.

[Pete Holmes]

City, and I was like, small.

[Clayton Ferris]

Small and mundane. Then I got here.

[Pete Holmes]

Let's both relieve ourselves of the burden of freestyle. Okay. And then, you know, great. We both. We could do it.

[Clayton Ferris]

I could do it.

[Pete Holmes]

If I had one, we could do it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Edible.

[Pete Holmes]

One edible. Oh, my God. You ever freestyle in your dreams? I wake up and I'm like, that was incredible.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But of course, words that don't exist exist.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. Are you a rhymer? Does everything have to rhyme when you freestyle?

[Pete Holmes]

I do like rhyming. Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. I'm a big believer in poetic license, where it doesn't have to rhyme if.

[Pete Holmes]

The attitude is there.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Think fuck. Don't say it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

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[Clayton Ferris]

So just like, come coming to LA and like, kind of just like lighting up in a way that I had not really, like, experienced before. And I was like, oh, like, this is a huge world and there's tons of different people in it and like, like really just buying into, like, oh, a dream. Like, oh, like I can, like, make something with my life or pursue something that has meaning for me, like that sort of thing.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, like, if I was making this into a movie, it's. It's important that we see as a hotel manager, watching the drunk business people. And I'm not putting down sex work, but I'm just saying it's like, is this all there is? That's the best ring, is I can be a hot shot and just kind of like, like, yeah. Drunk or on.

[Clayton Ferris]

Well, and that was the thing is, like, I was drinking a lot and I just was like, I wasn't healthy and I just. Yeah, I mean, I. I was still enjoying myself in a. Into a degree because I've. I've always tried to find joy in people and that sort of thing, but the movie version would be like, oh, my God, this can't be the rest of my life. I can't just be, like a hotel manager forever.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. You know. Right. And if you get every promotion, you'll just be on the other side of the counter.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And potentially.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right. And. And just more like I had already Been a hotel manager. I already met my sixth grade.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

Dream. I was like, oh, I have a new dream.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So now you have a new dream. So you're. You're in this technicolor world. You. You've entered Oz, la, la, and then.

[Clayton Ferris]

Just fell in love with, like. Like, I'm. I even now, like, I'm such a huge fan of la and, like, I love this city. I love the history of it. I love Hollywood. I just love all those aspects.

[Pete Holmes]

When you say the history of it, what comes to mind?

[Clayton Ferris]

I really just mean, like, the, like, kind of like. I mean, like, I mean just, like, when I say I, I very mean specifically, like, my own history. Like, going to see places, like seeing the Hollywood sign or, like, going to, like, Rodeo Drive.

[Pete Holmes]

I actually really like la. It sounds like I'm taking the position that I don't like la. Yeah, I really like that.

[Clayton Ferris]

I'm not like, a historian on la.

[Pete Holmes]

I just didn't know what you meant. If Trumbo.

[Clayton Ferris]

I really meant my own history. Seeing my own history of what I thought LA was reflected back to me by actually being here.

[Pete Holmes]

Totally.

[Clayton Ferris]

Has still not worn off for me.

[Pete Holmes]

I agree.

[Clayton Ferris]

You know what I mean?

[Pete Holmes]

I have a vivid memory of walking by the Roosevelt Hotel.

[Clayton Ferris]

Totally.

[Pete Holmes]

And I had just been on the phone with my agent and I just couldn't believe it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And I think they were saying something to me that if they. This is more about age and just kind of knowing how much fluff is in this business. They said something about a meeting, like a general meeting. I guess I. I'm just gonna own it and say it. A meeting that I wouldn't take now. You know what I mean? Like, meaning an assistant's assistant, but at CBS or whatever. And, like, now I'd be like, well, that doesn't really sound. Can we do it over? Zoom. But back then I was like, we love Ellie. And I literally sang that song.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it was sunny.

[Clayton Ferris]

I would do that, too.

[Pete Holmes]

And I still. What I say to kind of bring that into the present, I'll say to Val, I. I drove home. Like, I live outside the city now, so it takes me about 90 minutes to get home. And I'll just rip through phone calls and I'll get home. And I'm like. Like I'm ripping through show business. Like she can tell something's wrong. Like, I'm like a murder bot or something. And it's because I had five phone calls and they were all about not really, but, like. But you weren't back end and availability and script.

[Clayton Ferris]

You weren't appreciating what was happening.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, I'm telling you, I am appreciating it. And I get home and I'm really juiced by it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

So I understand why some people won't ever retire because there's nothing quite like.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Ripping through phone calls and talking about.

[Clayton Ferris]

Because all rolling calls. I love the idea of rolling calls.

[Pete Holmes]

I've never rolled calls, but I. I know what it is. I just learned what it is. It's where your assistant is calling the next person while you're not yet off with the first person, so they can say, I have Judd Apatow for you.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And then when he's off, you roll it in. That's called rolling call. Right.

[Clayton Ferris]

I've never needed to call more than one person.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't need to call any of these people. But sometimes it's super fun.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And there's a certain. What I like about what you're bringing up is, like, there's an appreciation for. When I was in eighth grade, I want. I didn't know it, but I wanted to be doing that. Like, I just liked the. Because what you're doing is you're all imagining a similar future together.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

So you think it's, like, about money or power, but really, it's very fun, especially for grownups. We don't go to the playground anymore. Not in the sandbox. But you can get on a phone call with a grown man or a grown woman and be like, do you think they have a cape in my size? And, like, it's so fun.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes. It's still, like, play. And, like, that was the original hook for me that got me into this, was doing theater and, like, putting a show together with, like, a group of, like, weirdos and being like, I want to do this forever. Like, that was the subconscious.

[Pete Holmes]

Broken toys, Lost Boys, all of these. Every movie's about makeup. Making movies. Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

But. But also, I remember. I like. I've seen this a couple times where you're walking down the street in la, just kind of taking it in, and you see someone, like, answer their phone and be like, yeah, Wait, what? Yeah, I got it. And, like, see, like, watching. I've seen that, like, from a distance a few times.

[Pete Holmes]

Really?

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah, Literally, I've seen people at the Oak Wood.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, people need the arm of you people just. In pilot season, do any of these things still exist? The Oakwood pilot season, they're all gone.

[Clayton Ferris]

The Oakwood was the old, like, it's where the apartment complex where the child started. But seeing this in public, I've seen it in public two or three times and it's.

[Pete Holmes]

You're a good luck charm. Nobody sees it.

[Clayton Ferris]

It's thrilling to see.

[Pete Holmes]

You're like a person that's been struck by lightning twice.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You've seen the person?

[Clayton Ferris]

I've seen the person. Get the call. Hudson Theater on Hollywood or on Santa Monica Boulevard.

[Pete Holmes]

Hudson Hawk Theater.

[Clayton Ferris]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

Bruce Willis theater.

[Clayton Ferris]

Hudson Hudsucker Proxy theater.

[Pete Holmes]

Nice. The Jeff Riches.

[Clayton Ferris]

The Hudson Theater. It's like this. A 99 seat theater. And I saw this happen there and I was just like, that's gonna be me one day.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like watching a proposal.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Except it's guaranteed to last.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it.

[Clayton Ferris]

And it. And I think that it was a specific time. It happens different now. Like, even if I book something big now, it's still like an email.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Is that true?

[Clayton Ferris]

A lot of times? Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Weapons and email.

[Clayton Ferris]

Now weapons was. Yeah, weapons was an email.

[Pete Holmes]

You got an email.

[Clayton Ferris]

But I'm. I'm, you know, I'm gonna book a se. A series regular very soon, and I feel like that's gonna be a call.

[Pete Holmes]

You think that'll be.

[Clayton Ferris]

I hope that is gonna be a call. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But remember the calls.

[Clayton Ferris]

You remember? Yeah. I mean, I imagine you do, like, remember calls. I still. I had, like, what you're making fun of, like, a general meeting, and I had, like, a general meeting.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, no, no. With an assistance assistant. No, totally. Very low.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, literally, they're practicing meeting too.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right, Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Like, both of you are getting a lot out of it. The assistant's assistant, who's probably now the head. Like, I should have taken the meeting, but, like, we were both practicing.

[Clayton Ferris]

Well, that was like. I had like a general meeting at NBC Universal with the. All the heads of casting the other day, and I was like, I was just like, I got to have a fresh moment of like, oh, my God, I can't believe that that just happened. Like, I'm still very much in that phase. And I. I mean, I hope that never goes away because depressing is they.

[Pete Holmes]

Were scanning you to be able to.

[Clayton Ferris]

Replicate you with AI.

[Pete Holmes]

They're like, so what would it look like if you were surprised? No reason. What's like the loudest?

[Clayton Ferris]

I'm just, like, doing it. I got. So speaking of weapons, I got scanned for weapons. You did? Well, they. But it's like, it's not. It was just. It's like instead of doing the thing in horror movies where they, like, Wrap your head with, like, the gauze and stuff. They literally just did this gun like this.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they made a replica of you.

[Clayton Ferris]

They made a replica. And it looked a hundred percent like me. Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I just did a horror movie where my co star dies.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And her body was replicated. I was like, you know what we need? We need laws for digital representations, but we also need laws for, like, plastic molds of us.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because she's a very beautiful person. Everybody was very respectful, but I was like, there's.

[Clayton Ferris]

It's a whole body, like, Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Not. Not. And I'm not even being funny. I'm like, it wouldn't have been okay if somebody punched it or kicked it or dropped, like.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

It looks wrong.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. Because it looks real. Like, now they look really real.

[Pete Holmes]

And if you're next to it and I'm going, hey. And you know what's funny? You wouldn't do it to a woman. Because I think we're past that. Like, everybody's, like, on there, but if it was you.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'd grab it and. I'm just kidding. I'm just saying, like, I'd be more.

[Clayton Ferris]

Like, punch it in the face. To be like, hey, Clay.

[Pete Holmes]

Just putting his knee.

[Clayton Ferris]

And I'd be like, to be an.

[Pete Holmes]

Agent, there needs to be a scan of your agent that can represent the scan of your body.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah, that.

[Pete Holmes]

That would be. He gets 10.

[Clayton Ferris]

It could be. It should just be AI.

[Pete Holmes]

It can be. We can make that. So you. Oh, so you were scanned for weapons.

[Clayton Ferris]

Well, yeah. So, like. But I don't think that's the same scan that they talk about when they talk about the scanning to make you, like, a. I think that's enough digital replica because it was just like, your. My head.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, you die.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes, you can. I think you could say that now. Yeah. My character definitely dies hardcore.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, really?

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

We didn't see it. We don't like the scary. Yeah. But I'm tempted, more than any movie, I'm tempted to see Weapon.

[Clayton Ferris]

What I always say is, like, it's like, anyone should see it because it's such, like, an amazing. The way it's crafted, like, the storytelling, the way this. It's like. Like, takes place in chapters. It's like. It's way beyond, like, a horror movie. It's like, it's a fantastic movie. Like, so that's why this whole. Being able to, like, do interviews and, like, have a moment for this. No, like, I mean, see it when you see it, because it is scary. I think it's scary.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. But I also have kids, which is different. Yeah. It's. I see a poster with children fleeing. I know I'm not like, great, I'll get a sitter.

[Clayton Ferris]

I've. People have said that a lot about weapons. Like parents. They're like, I don't want to.

[Pete Holmes]

Everything changed because it's literally the kids.

[Clayton Ferris]

Disappearing from high school.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, that's why they're uninterested in that as a premise.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But I'm also. Frozen 3 is gonna be like, you joke, but Frozen 2's got some real peril. Olaf melting.

[Clayton Ferris]

Oh, well, that's like the old school. Like Disney movies where they all started with real tragedy.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, Ambient is hard.

[Clayton Ferris]

Bambi. But even like, Finding Nemo.

[Pete Holmes]

Nemo. Nemo. I can't find my Albert Brooks. Nemo.

[Clayton Ferris]

There he is.

[Pete Holmes]

There it was. It was. Was it worth it? No.

[Clayton Ferris]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

Nemo. So, yeah, you're absolutely right. And we're losing that. I, I, I did a rant about Moana 2, which wasn't my favorite. I, I think a lot of people love it. But, like, a character dies and then just immediately comes back and I'm like, they're not even making us wait anymore.

[Clayton Ferris]

Like, you have, like, in the same mo. Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

That's been happening.

[Clayton Ferris]

Sorry.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what an earthquake would be like. That would. I've been thrashing all sorts of. Yeah, they don't even make you wait. I, I watch honey. I shrink the kids.

[Clayton Ferris]

Love that movie.

[Pete Holmes]

Auntie dies. Big ant, right? Saves them, dies in a Godzilla style.

[Clayton Ferris]

Stop. Yeah, that's true.

[Pete Holmes]

Scorpion fight. And my daughter goes. But he comes back. Right? And I'm like, no, it's the 90s.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes. No, he definitely dies. Right?

[Pete Holmes]

He's dead. Yeah, he's dead.

[Clayton Ferris]

Don't show her, Old Yeller. It's not going to end well.

[Pete Holmes]

Keep going, please.

[Clayton Ferris]

What were we talking about?

[Pete Holmes]

That's. That's a horrible burden to put on you. You can have that. It's for you. It's a magic mind.

[Clayton Ferris]

Magic mind drink. It does have caffeine in it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, quite a bit.

[Clayton Ferris]

Great.

[Pete Holmes]

Half a. Half a cup of coffee.

[Clayton Ferris]

Put it in my pocket.

[Pete Holmes]

That's the guest that wants to be alert and fun later. They're like, great, I'll have this on the ride.

[Clayton Ferris]

I just slammed a coffee, so. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Although you're fine, you're doing great. We were talking about.

[Clayton Ferris]

You're like, take it. Be funny and alert.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, no, no. Never for me.

[Clayton Ferris]

Okay. Love Magic Mike for you.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't even have to say that. Perfect. Gene, listen, we're getting to the point where you started taking acting real serious. You're in L. A, you're watching people get the call because you're the. Good luck. Oakwood, you got scan for weapons. It was an email. We should see it. Even though it's scary.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, and when you have kids, everything's out the window, but we're really tracking with your journey. You're in LA and you're about to get. Get your first break, I think.

[Clayton Ferris]

Well, I. I guess it really comes down to I moved when. So I did this. I did this festival, and along the way, someone that was a friend of a friend. I only knew, like, two people out here and they were like, there's a come to this, like, audition for, like, a McDonald's commercial or something. And I go. Because she worked at the casting office. And I get, like, a call back. And I was like, oh, what is that? Like, I got a call back.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

And then I kind of like. So then I was like, okay, I'm just gonna, like, do commercials. And I did, like, all these, like, commercials at the beginning, which was cool because I was making money and I was, like, kind of figuring it out. Able to stay in la, Able to have a little bit of money. Like, not a lot of money, but, like, enough to live. Had health insurance. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you're on a set.

[Clayton Ferris]

You're on a set.

[Pete Holmes]

You're learning tape measure to your nose.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you realize, like, I think one of the biggest things that you tell me for you is recognizing, like, oh, the cameras aren't on me right now. Not that you don't try, but I remember that one of the first jobs I did, the car. We were shooting that way.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

For me. And I'm, like, riffing and doing all this dumb. And someone said, they're laughing, but they're like, save it for your.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. Like, just wait. Right.

[Pete Holmes]

I was just like a big dumb animal.

[Clayton Ferris]

It's.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

You learn all those little tricks and you figure out, like, the business and what filmmaking is. But I did commercials for a long time and I was dabbling here and there with, like, theatrical stuff, getting, you know, a couple auditions. Never had a great agent or whatever. And that's also when, like, I. I was so nervous when I would go to these, like, commercial. These auditions, theatrical auditions, where I was.

[Pete Holmes]

When you say theatrical, you mean. Mean tv?

[Clayton Ferris]

I mean TV and film. And I was like.

[Pete Holmes]

And in Canada, they call them shows. I don't know what's happening.

[Clayton Ferris]

I don't know why they don't. Yeah. But I. I would get so nervous in my head. My brain would be, like, jumbled. And that's when I started, like, meditating.

[Pete Holmes]

Got it. We got it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. Like, that's literally when I was like, okay, I gotta figure something out because my brain is too jumbled.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Clayton Ferris]

Literally.

[Pete Holmes]

You mean to do your work?

[Clayton Ferris]

To literally do my work and to be able to go into a audition and, like, take that away and, like, so, like, that was the first time where I started, like, coming down a bit and was able to be more present, I guess.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

And then I was like, okay, now I want to go to. I want to figure it out and be good at this. Or, like, figure it out. And finally I went to. Because, like, my train, I didn't really have training, even though I was booking and I had done a few jobs, it was just based on instinct. And then getting with Risa Brahman Garcia, who is like, she's a casting director that's, like, prolific, but she has an acting studio. And I. I stumbled upon there and kind of learned more about acting and discovered my own technique just by figuring out what acting was and that, like. Oh, like, some people, like, are actually feeling this stuff when they're doing it, or some people are actually, like, showing up and making choices and trying to be present and all those sorts of things. And so figuring out that there's another layer to it that you can also try to get good at forever.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

Is like a fun. That's when I just felt like, oh, there's a craft here and there's something to explore and try to get better at.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah. You really just said it. We were talking about it at the beginning, which is like, you know it when you've done it. Like when something was challenging, not too challenging, but just challenging enough.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

This is the same for every endeavor. You want to do something that. That's just on the cusp of your ability, so you have to reach for it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Get it and you do it. So I. In a thing. Well, I had to die in a thing. And I was like, oh, when we did it, I was like, I did it. You know? Was that like your death and weapons?

[Clayton Ferris]

Well, what weapons was.

[Pete Holmes]

Do you get, like, dropped into a windmill or something?

[Clayton Ferris]

No, I get headbutted to death by Benedict Wong.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, no.

[Clayton Ferris]

And vomited on black bile. Like, it's a very.

[Pete Holmes]

Kills you, though. Are you alive and alert for the black bile?

[Clayton Ferris]

The black bile first?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

It's got to be.

[Pete Holmes]

Are you feeling good? You're a black bile. Are you like an unlikable guy?

[Clayton Ferris]

No, I'm like a likable guy.

[Pete Holmes]

And they give you the black bio and then headbutt.

[Clayton Ferris]

So I. I think my character's purpose in the movie is to kind of. It kind of is the shift of the movie where it turns into, like a horror movie and it's like one of the first kind of deaths you see in the movie. So it's the first thing. It's the first shift of energy in the movie where people might like my character. Like, I'm like, I'm. So it's the movies and chapters. So I'm in a chapter. The chapter with Benedict. Benedict Wong. I play his husband, actually. And we. He. And so it comes together where we're set up in this really beautiful way, like this loving couple. We have, like, this hot dog tray between us. It's hard, dude.

[Pete Holmes]

Coming true.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. It's like. And then. And then it turns. And Amy Madigan, who will be nominated for an Oscar for this movie, which I called on the day.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, you called while you were shooting it.

[Clayton Ferris]

I have an email that I sent to the casting director because we were talking that I'm going to share when it happens.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Clayton Ferris]

Because I was like, oh, this is like you. I just knew it was going to happen. Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

And it hasn't happened yet. It hasn't happened yet.

[Clayton Ferris]

But, like, literally, the Academy. Instagram just posted her on it. Like, posted her scene from Weapon on it. It's gonna happen.

[Pete Holmes]

Why would they do that?

[Clayton Ferris]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

They just need content so bad.

[Clayton Ferris]

Everyone needs content.

[Pete Holmes]

Tip. Who's gonna get none?

[Clayton Ferris]

I. I honestly don't know why they would do it. I don't think it's a surprise that it's gonna happen. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What about the Rock and Smashing Machine?

[Clayton Ferris]

I don't know. Did you see that?

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, you did. I'm not putting him down at all. I was like.

[Clayton Ferris]

I didn't feel like he will.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know. I don't think he'll win.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But I do feel like he's such a star and such a fun thing for him to do.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. And he's wearing, like, a prosthetic. Right?

[Pete Holmes]

He's wearing. If you're wearing a prosthetic, you're gonna get it. Not. You don't lift anyone above your head. And.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Kevin Hart isn't there. And Jack Black doesn't go, wow, Mamacita.

[Clayton Ferris]

Or if you're, like, traditionally attractive. And you wear a prosthetic.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

You're gonna get nominated.

[Pete Holmes]

Is he wearing a nose? Is that what it is? It's like a forehead. Forehead. I couldn't tell either, but something's off.

[Clayton Ferris]

Something's different. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But okay. All right. I feel like if you do that, if you step off the golden stallion of movie stardom and do like an art film, the woman that plays his wife, Emily Blunt, she'll get nominated. And she was fabulous.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. I need to see it.

[Pete Holmes]

Keep going. Sorry.

[Clayton Ferris]

You're wondering where you are.

[Pete Holmes]

You're on set and you're dying.

[Clayton Ferris]

I mean. Yeah, I guess the point is, is I died. I'm sorry.

[Pete Holmes]

Do you not remember? Nine, six.

[Clayton Ferris]

I died.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah. And I'm just saying it shifts the tone.

[Clayton Ferris]

It shifts the tone.

[Pete Holmes]

Feel it. And you do it well.

[Clayton Ferris]

So it shifts the tone. And. And I think that it's like, you know, like, for the type of stuff I'm doing, like, I got to be in a really cool movie. It's not the biggest role in the world, but I got to show up and I got to do what was important for my character and which was set up a very likable character in a short amount of time, so it holds impact whenever he dies.

[Pete Holmes]

How long do you have to make him likable? Like, one moment.

[Clayton Ferris]

Four. Well, I have like, there's like little scene. There's like a moment before, and then there's like probably a four minute scene until, like, this things. Yeah, yeah. So it's just like. It's just that moment where we see this. This. I felt as an actor, I was like, oh, I get to show up and do my job was like, to try to make this person likable. It was like, specific to that. And I was like that.

[Pete Holmes]

Was he a bad person?

[Clayton Ferris]

No, he wasn't a bad person. But it's just like, like, like, how can I make this into something interesting that in it? And I feel like my. My character became like. There was a lot of talk about the character afterwards and about our scene on the Internet, and it got memed a lot. And like, people.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, oh, I. I'm sorry. I thought you said I did another movie where I had four minutes to. So Weapons is the movie you're talking about. But you did say I did a movie where I was not a big part. You're not a big part of Weapons?

[Clayton Ferris]

No, I'm a big part in Weapons, but I'm not like, you know, there's like the huge. The Running Children No, I'm not the Running Children. I'm not Josh Brolin.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

Like, what I was saying is it's chapter.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes, Go on.

[Clayton Ferris]

I literally thought that was a bit. You're like, what movie is this talking about?

[Pete Holmes]

I thought you brought up another movie. Playback the tape. We're talking about weapons. And you go, I was in this other movie, I swear. You said, no, it doesn't.

[Clayton Ferris]

I was. Okay. It doesn't matter. Point is, you're not a fool. And, like, a lot of people haven't seen weapons. And it's funny. My agent hasn't seen weapons.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, a lot of us are terrified. Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

But did you watch the horror movie that you were in?

[Pete Holmes]

It's not out yet, but.

[Clayton Ferris]

Okay. Watch it. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because I know what's gonna happen. I was there.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That's also. That's more jump scary slasher. These modern movies that are like, what's your worst fear? Well, here's a bird that will draw that out.

[Clayton Ferris]

That's what this movie is. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I just mean, like, psychologically demonic, witchy. Like, Blair Witch even was a lot for me.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. I was just like, that movie scared the crap out of me.

[Pete Holmes]

The terrifying movie.

[Clayton Ferris]

I'm. I'm an easy, like, target for scary movies because I'm. I'm, you know, vulnerable. And I like.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yes.

[Clayton Ferris]

Also.

[Pete Holmes]

But if you were raised religious, like, we're the prime.

[Clayton Ferris]

Oh, totally.

[Pete Holmes]

For, like. And that. And weapons is witchy, right? There's. There's.

[Clayton Ferris]

There's witchcraft in it, and there's like.

[Pete Holmes]

A spell and a trance.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes. Yeah. Like, it's. To this day, if I see, like, a Ouija board or something, I'm like, of course not. No, no, no. Get that out of here.

[Pete Holmes]

I. I do have a show, and. And I'm not going to do it, so someone else do it. I want to take Neil DeGrasse Tyson, all the materials, all the hardcore materialists, and just put them in, like, the world's most haunted prison overnight.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Make them use a Ouija board. But you know why? Nothing will happen. So. That's a terrible idea. Terrible idea.

[Clayton Ferris]

But say there's just a sound that's heard or whatever, and it feels like something's happening.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that'll be the clip, right. Neil DeGrasse. Just being like, just. If that's it, though, because it's very reasonable.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

It's probably the temperature.

[Clayton Ferris]

Hello, I'm James Corden, and on my.

[Pete Holmes]

New show, this Life of Mine, I.

[Clayton Ferris]

Sit down each week with some of.

[Pete Holmes]

The most fascinating People on planet Earth.

[Clayton Ferris]

From Dr. Dre to Julianne Moore to.

[Pete Holmes]

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[Clayton Ferris]

To, to Kim Kardashian, we talk about.

[Pete Holmes]

The people, places, possessions, music, and memories that made them who they are.

[Clayton Ferris]

These are intimate conversations full of stories.

[Pete Holmes]

That you've never heard before. This Life of Mine premieres October 21st. Wherever you get your podcasts.

[Clayton Ferris]

Do you believe in ghost, this guy?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah, I believe in almost everything thing. It's, I, I think it's a dangerous. Well, it can be dangerous either way. But I, I, I find my life gets way richer and more interesting the more open I am about all things.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Meaning I recently listened to a flat Earther for, about, in real life for about an hour, and I just really enjoyed it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Just to, like, hear him out.

[Pete Holmes]

Just to hear him out. Right. And I, I thought it was fascinating. And can I tell you the best one? The best thing that he said is, like, all the ancient cultures of the world believed the Earth was flat, and they made the pyramids. And I was like, that's a really good, like, creative meaning, you know, the Giza pyramids. This is not flat Earth time.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm just saying, Interesting point that they knew how to put the Giza pyramids, like, in the dead center of this land. Like, remarkable things about where it is on the planet and whether or not that planet's flat. I'm just saying that's interesting that the Greeks and the Egyptians, all these people that did all these feats, right, were doing it based on their primary calculation that the Earth was flat. I was just, like, fun, you know what I mean? Like, funny.

[Clayton Ferris]

Like, interesting that, that's interesting fun.

[Pete Holmes]

Right? Let's take all of flat Earth out of it. I like the quality of spaciousness that I can have talking to someone that I might disagree with. And it makes for a richer life, right? And it's getting trickier and trickier, obviously, with political things, religious things, whatever it might be. But I like the Pete I am. If I can just go, like, can I not be super defensive? But of course, if my daughter was going down a rabbit hole, watching YouTube's about, you know, you would want to.

[Clayton Ferris]

Like, like, slower down.

[Pete Holmes]

We have to be careful, right? So, yeah, I am careful, too. I, I didn't that night go on YouTube and, you know, go down the rabbit hole.

[Clayton Ferris]

That's the weird thing about it to me, is because you think that other people might be dipping their toe into watching an hour of something like that.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

Knowing that they're just kind of like hearing the other perspective. Just to put their, like, dip their toe in.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

Not that it's actually like, like, indoctrinating.

[Pete Holmes]

You, but it is dangerous.

[Clayton Ferris]

Because it is dangerous.

[Pete Holmes]

No, you don't know what that could be said. What was said to you could be said to me. And then you are going, like, hear me out. You're saying hear me out a lot.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. Like, a little too much to where you're actually, like, to hear me out. But so, like, I.

[Pete Holmes]

Do, you know you like ghosts?

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes. And I'm.

[Pete Holmes]

That's a harmless one.

[Clayton Ferris]

I do. I'm. Yeah. Ghosts are harmless because they're like, there's. It's not a conspiracy theory.

[Pete Holmes]

And I've had a lot of great ghost stories on this podcast and from very deeply reasonable people.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. I love that.

[Pete Holmes]

They're all like, well, we know South America over here. He's seen it all. Brazil. Are you kidding me? He's seen. They don't even report it.

[Clayton Ferris]

No. They're just.

[Pete Holmes]

Mary just, like, called me. Called me a rude name in Portuguese. I'm not even going to tell my priests.

[Clayton Ferris]

I'm taking my.

[Pete Holmes]

He's bored. Every day. Every day. Every day. Where did the.

[Clayton Ferris]

Remember when those stories like. Like. Like a statue or picture of Jesus or Virgin Mary was, like, crying? Like, that was always in the news.

[Pete Holmes]

Shaking it.

[Clayton Ferris]

I never see it anymore.

[Pete Holmes]

The news.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, tonight at 10, Kirstie Alley beefed up and a Virgin Mary was crying. Like, that was the 80s.

[Clayton Ferris]

It was.

[Pete Holmes]

Now it's like.

[Clayton Ferris]

And now nightmares. The new conspiracy is this Three Eye Atlas thing. Do you know about this?

[Pete Holmes]

I do.

[Clayton Ferris]

Okay. Because I'll mention it to people. And they're like. And I'm.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

I'm like, that's the comet that's headed to Earth, that's interstellar from another planet. That could be an alien spacecraft. You don't know this.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah. That's. Actually, I don't know what angle to take with this, but I will say briefly that we're living in a time where UAPs, UFOs, Three Eye Atlas, there's so much happening.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

That people just shut down. Like, we're completely fatigued.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And we're just like, what can I eat and what can I have sex with? Like, I can't.

[Clayton Ferris]

And I think that's good.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, Atlas. I don't think.

[Clayton Ferris]

We don't. Well, what? Like, I don't need to know about Three Eye Atlas. You know? Like, I don't even need to know.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't care when it arrivals us.

[Clayton Ferris]

But, like, I'll wait for that.

[Pete Holmes]

You'll wait?

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You know about a lot of things. Because I think a lot of people are that way about AI. They're like, I'm gonna wait for the Terminator to come by and be like, on a scale.

[Clayton Ferris]

Because if you're scared now, but before.

[Pete Holmes]

It happening, then you've been double scared.

[Clayton Ferris]

Then you're double scared.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like getting excited about booking a job. Be excited, Be excited. At least you had the excitement of maybe getting it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

Enjoy it. I'm with you. I'm with you. But like, three. The same person who was telling me about. He's not a flat Earther. I just for brevity, said he was a flat Earther.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

He was talking about interesting things. One of them was three. I atlas for quite a while how it's trailing. It's made out of carbon. It. It has like a windshield in front of it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. It's. There's weird stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

It's weird. And I will say. And I'll get down and dirty on this all day. We are in an evolution. We're in a moment of evolution, like with AI this is. That's not a conspiracy that's happening. We are at a crossroads that this thing could open up all sorts of interstellar travel. Like, we're about to potentially become the neighbors to a lot of things that might have the capacity to look at us. And we can't look at them. And they're going, this thing, this, like, kernel is about to become popcorn. Let's go check in with it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Because we need to make sure its intentions. Because it fucks itself up quite a bit. Let's make sure we can guide it into the next phase. And that makes a. So you have three eye Atlas behind the sun as we're speaking, right. While we're in a. Inarguably a shift in our evolution, a thing from outer space looks like it's trying to visit us. Like that those things line up. But that is what we do as people. We make stories.

[Clayton Ferris]

That's what. But like. Because that's my thing. It's like, okay, maybe that's all true. I can't even, like, fathom some of the AI stuff that people say. Because I'm like, what? Like. But if it's taken. If we don't have the Internet and we don't have the knowledge of all this stuff around us and we take it all away, it doesn't matter. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it doesn't matter that there's an interstellar thing until it lands, until it passes, until it doesn't really matter, until it lands, because we don't know what it is or what it means. So why. Like, I just feel like we're in a place. We're just in a place where everyone's just, like, freaking out about everything. And it's like, if you just take it away, put the phone down and. And focus.

[Pete Holmes]

I now understand what you're saying.

[Clayton Ferris]

Do you know what I mean?

[Pete Holmes]

I do know what you mean. Like, and I. I am very much aligned with. With that. Yeah. I like talking about Three Eye Atlas. I like talking about ghosts. And those things are related. And put the phone down and be kind to my daughter.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

Hold her hand. Make a sandwich. Talk with you.

[Clayton Ferris]

You know, talk with a neighbor.

[Pete Holmes]

Exactly.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like, what you're saying is a big guiding principle in my life is. And then what? Ghost are real. UFOs are real. And they are. Okay, what is this? Am I having a Joe Rogan experience? I'm just saying I like Joe Rogan experiences. I like talking about things.

[Clayton Ferris]

UFOs are real.

[Pete Holmes]

It's interesting.

[Clayton Ferris]

And who. And so what?

[Pete Holmes]

And so what? Yes. Right? Like, look, it can be both, right? But UAPs. I am fortunate, I think, to have a mind that can go. You know, I'll limit it for a good hour and a half. I'll listen. It was actually a diary of a CEO. It's. I love that podcast. And the guy was an ex, all the things, you know, ex CIA, worked at the Pentagon. And now he's writing a book, right? And he's telling you all these things, and I like it. And then I do go. And now it's time to call my. You know what I mean? It's just, like, brass tacks. Can I make you smile?

[Clayton Ferris]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

Can I be nice to Katie? Can I say hi to Justin? Just scratch my dog. That's your life.

[Clayton Ferris]

That's your life. And like, that. That, like, I've really become obsessed with that idea of, like. Like, politics is local or whatever. Like, I don't know what you. But, like, I live in Silver Lake, not too far away, around the reservoir. It's like Hyperion turns into Rowena. There's this, like, you. You know, like, it's. The road is a U. Yeah. And I'm always like, this is my. This is my little you. Where, like, I go to the different coffee shops every day, and I'm like, hey, Kevin, Like I see my different people on the U and I'm walking around the reservoir and I'm smiling at people, which scares people sometimes.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah. Or like I hotel manager. If you look like Jude, love you having fun.

[Clayton Ferris]

Love it.

[Pete Holmes]

If Jude Law smiles at people, people are like creaming their jeans.

[Clayton Ferris]

But if you, you walk by me on the reservoir, I'm like, are you enjoying your stay here?

[Pete Holmes]

Any complaints? But did you like that your bags were waiting by the door?

[Clayton Ferris]

That was.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I'm with you.

[Clayton Ferris]

That was me. That's not policy. I just did that on my own accord.

[Pete Holmes]

You needed the little pat.

[Clayton Ferris]

No, but I'm just saying like, because even I get like wrapped up in these. Like you start saying AI and my butthole tightens and I'm like, like, no.

[Pete Holmes]

Buddy, I've never understood. I've been for the longest time trying to work on a bit about why I don't watch the news, right? And it's hard to even say that. And I respect people that watch the news. There's a couple different angles. One is I get my news from people. Katie always tells me things from the news. My, my opener, Matt McCarthy, he's always just telling me the big things in the news. I found, I'm not trying to be funny. I found out Robert Redford died from a magazine. I saw it on the COVID of a magazine. Magazine, like it's 1997 at the grocery store. That's basically how my life is different from your life. And I'm not making fun of Katie or Matt. I'm just saying I get my news from unreliable resources as well. You know what I mean? Like these people that are summarizing it poorly. I'm not making fun of you, Katie. I'm just saying no one knows everything. So I hear it from them and it's. But now at least I'm talking with them. And it's an excuse to love each other and be nice and engaged. And the way that I relate is I do stay up on AI and other people. The majority of people seem to be like, I'll wait until it arrivals us. And I have to take my own medicine and go like, yes, you could get the day to day updates of how close we are to like the next breakthrough, right? But it, it will start taking away from my life. So I had to listen to my own bit and go like sometimes make a tomato sandwich, right? And sometimes listen, listen and relax and just relax because it's your life. Remember, life is what happens while you're making other plans. Life is what happens when you're watching the news about other people's lives.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

In between.

[Clayton Ferris]

I think that that's my whole point. I don't know why we got here, but it's kind of like the world is crazy. And because I'm. I am a content creator online. That's a big part of, like, what I do. So I'm online. Yeah. And I see, like, I have to be on. I just. I don't have to be. But I, as someone that makes my most of my living from the Internet, am at a current point where I'm like, I don't go on the Internet. I don't go on social media.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

Because it's like, it's just funneling this, like, fear and anxiety, and everyone's like, the world's crazy. And it's like, yeah, there's a lot of going on, but go on your little, like, you and, like, see what's, like, close to you and you're like. Like, it's just the same as it was.

[Pete Holmes]

No, that is it, by the way.

[Clayton Ferris]

You know what I mean?

[Pete Holmes]

I know exactly what you mean.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I was here when Trump won the first time. Very. It was a dark day. People were blindsided. We didn't know what was happening. And I walked out of this house and went down and got a coffee. Coffee.

[Clayton Ferris]

Coffee.

[Pete Holmes]

It was coffee. I had a coffee. And there was. The guy's name was Brett. Talking to Brett. Right. Hey, coffee. Maybe a pastry on Today. Today. Today. Pastry. And, like, as much as we want to post the black square, you know, like, I have very fond memories of lots of different Covid and all these things. So often the solution to easing up is going for a Wong. It's the great Bill Hicks joke. He's like, you watch the news and it's like, it's World War Three. It's all over, and you open the blinds and there's a. A. There's a blue jay on your.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah, it's both. It's both.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not one or the other. It's not complete head in the sand, but too many people are tripling down on. On just being informed.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And the line that I could never make work is people like, you got to be informed. I'm like, you realize that's CNN's slogan. You just said to me, be informed. Right? That's their slogan. That's like. Like, I mean, McDonald's. And I'm like, I'm loving it. Like, that's not. That's not you. You.

[Clayton Ferris]

We've We've just do it.

[Pete Holmes]

We've been indoctrinated that you have to know the minute by minute details. Right. And you're not designed to know those things.

[Clayton Ferris]

And if everyone in the world went, like, if, if everyone in the US went, decided, okay, today I'm gonna go be nice to the first person I see. And everyone did that at the same time, then it would be like, oh, we're fine, fine. Everything's fine. And that is insane to say.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, no, it's not.

[Clayton Ferris]

But it's like, it's true. It's just like, true.

[Pete Holmes]

Totally says how you feel right now.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Right now is how you feel about your life.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's just another way of saying this is your life. And our minds go. It's like in the movie Inside Out. Did you see that? Yes. Okay. It's back when we all saw Pixar. Every Pixar.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like at the end of the day, Joy presses button with her foot and all the balls go down, down. And you want most of the balls to be happy. And that's how the mind thinks happiness works.

[Clayton Ferris]

Ah.

[Pete Holmes]

Mostly good, some red, some green. For shame or disgust, some fear, but mostly joy. And that's a good day. Like an aggregate. That's not how it works. How you feel right now is how you feel about your life. And that's what you're saying. So news. Things happen. Things happen. Covid happens. I vividly remember being. Having some really great day is walking around during the lockdown, being across the street from them. We took it all pretty serious. But a smile meant so much.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So, yeah, I'm, I'm absolutely with you. Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

And it's. I don't know. Okay, we're on the same page. But like, I remember during COVID when I, I, I, we were in on the U. And that's where one of those first things in LA where everyone would yell at like 8pm at night and come out on their balconies. And I. And I was like, that is the most.

[Pete Holmes]

Most.

[Clayton Ferris]

This is the most. The best experience I've had in a long time. Yeah. Even though it's during COVID because we're actually like, connecting.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's what I mean. So the brain says happiness is the absence of conflict. But all the data, if you want to be brainy about it, says the times of conflict. Covid. World War II in London was always my example. They. While people were seeking shelter at night because bombs were dropping on London. And the people that were surveyed, they Said it was the happiest time of their lives because the vitality. It was so urgent to be together. That. That coffee, it's like in Fight Club, where he goes, raymond's coffee is gonna taste better tomorrow because I put a gun to his head and told him to follow his dreams. That's what Fight Club is kind of about. I'm a white guy explaining Fight Club. Jesus Christ.

[Clayton Ferris]

I'm just saying, while we're saying no, everyone should just chill.

[Pete Holmes]

I know, but we need, like, you need to be. The fear is in the mix. Threat is in the mix. Like, it's not.

[Clayton Ferris]

All those things are real. And you sh. But in. I feel like it's, like, the way to be, because I want to be effective. And I don't appreciate a lot of, like, what's going on specifically in, like, our country with the politics and the current administration. I'm very clearly about that. But the way that I feel that I can actually do something is not to just sit and be angry. It's to go in my. You and, like, remind people.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

Of just like, a little bit of, like.

[Pete Holmes]

Hey, for real. So, Val, we were talking about how the brain. The phones are rewiring our brains. And we're worried. We're all worried. It doesn't matter if you're liberal or conservative. Everybody goes into echo chambers. We all know this.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. So the only thing you can do, the only agency you have have, is to then not go into the echo chamber. You know what I mean?

[Clayton Ferris]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

I know there's other, better echo chambers. Here's a more balanced echo chamber. But, like, I think we. And I. I have hope. I'm optimistic that even the next generation will have an even greater appreciation for. And sometimes we just go to Burning Man. That's an extreme example. Sometimes we just go to the coffee shop.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. I mean, I went camping this weekend.

[Pete Holmes]

Shut up.

[Clayton Ferris]

I. I actually came back. You warn me.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm done.

[Clayton Ferris]

I came back. No, I came back early for this. This. And because I wasn't.

[Pete Holmes]

I was.

[Clayton Ferris]

Well, let me explain. No, I. I literally. No, I wanted to. I was gonna spend. My plan was to spend the night and come back, but I was like, I need to, like, rest my brain so I can be sharp because I wasn't sleeping there. But I do these camping trips now because my phone doesn't work. And I literally remind myself, like, oh, I'm actually just, like, a chill, present person. It's really the phone and the stuff around me that's. That's throwing me off I would say.

[Pete Holmes]

Something else that I've tried to do on stage that doesn't work. Is everyone at baseline is Enya. No one is Metallica. I like Metallica, but if you bring anyone down, and I mean anyone, and I don't want to be. I'm not trying to be funny, but like, you could take like a really disturbed person if you could get them the help they need. And let's. Everything, everything. Community, value, purpose, the right food, sunlight, exercise. And we get them in a massage and then we teach them to. Teach them to meditate. That's the wrong tone. I'm just saying you bring whatever they need to get them to zero. Everyone is. Who can say. Nobody is. Give me fuel, give me fire. I know we don't believe that, but I do, I do.

[Clayton Ferris]

I believe that too. Because I. I think we do think.

[Pete Holmes]

That some people just broken completely 100%. Like, okay, put that guy alone on a desert island. Or. But even, just.

[Clayton Ferris]

Even if we're thinking of someone that's, you know, not Metallica but like a slip knot type of person, and they're not. Or not even that extreme, like someone that is seems pretty normal, but they're on edge and they're like, I don't meditate because my brain doesn't. My brain doesn't slow down.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

And you're like, that's like saying, I.

[Pete Holmes]

Don'T exercise because I'm too.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah, you're like, it does. It does though.

[Pete Holmes]

It does. Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

And. And not like I'm any way supposed here to teach someone about meditation, especially around the guru, but like the love guru.

[Pete Holmes]

There's a poster of the movie the Love Guru behind me, but it is.

[Clayton Ferris]

That thing of like. Oh, like. No, you are actually a chill. You are like. You're not the noise in your head.

[Pete Holmes]

No, your chillness is the ground of your stress.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Like that zero is a nice way to put it is the screen on which everything, including your inability to meditate. But like, you just. It's like saying if it's overcast, you're like, I'm just not a blue sky. You know what I mean? But you are.

[Clayton Ferris]

You are. There's just some clouds over it.

[Pete Holmes]

And I completely. Even when the clouds are there, the blue sky.

[Clayton Ferris]

But no one know. People. People just need to get a taste of that to real, like. Yeah, because I'm just always reminding myself like, oh, to actually be of service in this world. Like, okay, one thing I can do is I can post it funny videos online that. That interrupts people's feed. That's something I do and I'm like, oh, this is like something I'm doing and it's giving people a little hit of joy.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

And by keeping myself or attempting to keep myself in a more like chill. Not even chill, just like more present like meditated place I can be more of service in the the you around me and like two people around me and I, I just feel like anytime there's some sort of like we're on a podcast right now. It's like important to say something like that because it's like. Yeah. Because I don't know. I also there is this weird thing too. Like as you we've experienced in our lives. I don't like where you're like all this has happened in our lives. Like big events it seems like and you're like it sometimes will hit and you're like ah, I thought we were just going to like I was going to be able to enjoy life life this portion of my life. But now there's this for four years or now there's Covid or now that you know what I mean? But it's like that's always happening, I imagine.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I, I relate to that.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I relate to that horn. Well, if you saw my eyes darting around it was because we're on the descent.

[Clayton Ferris]

Okay, let's.

[Pete Holmes]

So I was like thinking like we gotta hit the the big things before you go. And we have about like 10 minutes.

[Clayton Ferris]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

How's that feel?

[Clayton Ferris]

Great.

[Pete Holmes]

Have you ever seen a ghost?

[Clayton Ferris]

No, I've only had like growing up. There was a. Apparently a ghost in our house but I never saw it. It only appeared to my sisters and mother.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, a lady ghost. Yes. A man hating man hating ghosts. Most most ghosts not crazy about men because there's, there's such a high chance that it was a man that ended them.

[Clayton Ferris]

Probably.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it probably not 100. It's 100 chance. And they're from the olden times back when men were just like there was no self correcting mechanism.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. At all.

[Pete Holmes]

Have you ever almost died?

[Clayton Ferris]

When I was a kid I almost died because I upon arrival I arrival I swore yes I well I was actually a C section.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Clayton Ferris]

But I, I Are you and your.

[Pete Holmes]

Mom only kind of.

[Clayton Ferris]

I swallowed and over duklos really I.

[Pete Holmes]

Swallowed amniotic fluid and while you were being C sectioned.

[Clayton Ferris]

While I was being C sectioned and I so I came out basically dead and then they had to like revive me and put me in icu so I. That's when I almost died. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow. That was your first experience?

[Clayton Ferris]

That was my first experience. And that's why. Yeah. And honestly, like, I feel like. Like, that sort of stuff kind of stays with you. It actually really does. You know how they say if you're. You're not a vaginal birth, you're a C section birth? You don't get the nutrients you need when you are delivered?

[Pete Holmes]

I've heard that.

[Clayton Ferris]

Like, the microbiome and stuff. And so that's why I've always had, like, weird things, like psoriasis.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

This is, like, kind of like what people think.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I know. There's a lot of. By the way, for all the C section moms out there.

[Clayton Ferris]

There.

[Pete Holmes]

I just know there's just so much shame. Like, we. Oh, yeah. One of those areas that I've learned that you have to be careful.

[Clayton Ferris]

You're right.

[Pete Holmes]

Breastfeed. No, no, you're doing great. I'm just saying this for out of respect for people listening. C sections, breastfeeding. Like, what you're doing is okay, everybody do your own thing. And there's reasons you're doing your own thing.

[Clayton Ferris]

Absolutely. And this was, like, there was no choice. I had to be a season. Like, it's.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, they're like, if you want this kid to die from amniotic fluid, you got to do a C section.

[Clayton Ferris]

But also. Also, recently, I've become obsessed with cold plunges. And I was in Sequoia. I was in Sequoia.

[Pete Holmes]

Katie just looked at me.

[Clayton Ferris]

Are you into it? Well, I. So I was in. I was in Sequoia doing one of these camping trips, and, like, the. The group I was with left, and I stayed behind, and I went and found a river. I was. I was like, I'm gonna go do cold plunges in nature.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

In the real deal, it was in, like, April. Yeah. And Sequoia's like. There's. All these signs are like, do not swim here. This is really dangerous. And I was like, I'll be fine. And I somehow ended up on a rock and slid down, like, 20ft. And that was the. That was the most recent experience where I was like, oh, I'm gonna. I'm gonna die right now.

[Pete Holmes]

And, like, with so many signs.

[Clayton Ferris]

So many signs around me.

[Pete Holmes]

Signs this way say don't swim, and the signs this way say, enjoy the idiot. Exactly.

[Clayton Ferris]

Enjoy the ride.

[Pete Holmes]

But it's sarcastic, right? Enjoy the ride. Did you go in the cold. Cold in Sequoia.

[Clayton Ferris]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

See, I wouldn't do that.

[Clayton Ferris]

It was awesome.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm all about, if you're gonna get cold, you need to get back to core temperature.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah, it was. It was warm enough during. It was warm enough to come out and, like, walk around and. Okay. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. It's funny. I. I wasn't gonna talk about this, but you did bring it up, so it's your fault. But I was cold plunging todos lestias at 39 degrees, which is really cold.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then I took about. I'm gonna say, four weeks off. I don't know what happened. I was traveling a lot. Just wasn't doing it. Still taking cold showers, but not getting in the 39. And then I went through. It's like when I had my concussion, so in the way that I'm. I feel like I'm good at cold plunging. Weird.

[Clayton Ferris]

You do get good at it. If you do it, you're like, it's easier.

[Pete Holmes]

That's one of the great perks of it, right? Is there's no greater curve. It's like a very extreme curve.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

You're bad at it on Tuesday. You're pretty good at it by Friday.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah, it's true every day.

[Pete Holmes]

But I had gotten out of practice, and I got in the 39, and I. I just was like, I'm gonna die. I was like, I'll do it tomorrow. I'm gonna die. Did it again the next day. I'm gonna die. Wasn't getting better, and I had to humble myself. And I put it up to, like, 55, and I. And I'm rebuilding. Oh, I'm re getting back into it. And all I'm gonna say. People have heard me talk a lot about cold plunging. Is what I forgot is you get this, like, all day, like, little secret.

[Clayton Ferris]

Totally.

[Pete Holmes]

The whole day.

[Clayton Ferris]

Absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

Something's going wrong, and you're like, at least I have my little glow friend. Yeah. Nothing else lasts all.

[Clayton Ferris]

It's weird. It's addictive.

[Pete Holmes]

It is.

[Clayton Ferris]

It's like. It's a true natural drug, and I'm so into it.

[Pete Holmes]

It is. And because it's 55, Val can do it now. And she got in, and I'm like, it'll keep those winter blues away.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

All right, we're done. I should have a sponsor or something.

[Clayton Ferris]

But you should, because cold plunges are expensive.

[Pete Holmes]

They're so expensive. They're too expensive.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

When I told Val how much it was, she was like, I'll just hit you with the hose every once in a while. It's like, it's not the same.

[Clayton Ferris]

It's not the same.

[Pete Holmes]

I.

[Clayton Ferris]

It's.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it's not. But anyway. And then the hardest, the time you laugh the hardest in your life is that. That sounds like a loaded pressure question. But maybe you were a kid, maybe somebody farted, maybe somebody fell down.

[Clayton Ferris]

I mean, I just, I. I just think about laughing with my, my, Like I have three sisters, Love them all very much. But just like the close relationship I had with my youngest sister. Just that like, like when we're most connected. And just laughing about the stupidest.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Clayton Ferris]

Stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Clayton Ferris]

Because I, I crave that sort of laughter sometimes and I, I feel like I can be very heady. So it's not as close as it.

[Pete Holmes]

Used to be, but I get it. But you have a little girl and her cousins are visiting and she's just laughing this laugh.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You're like.

[Clayton Ferris]

I know, it's crazy.

[Pete Holmes]

Abandoned.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, just the. So there's no specific. Just that general energy. I would be la. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But you would hate it.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah. I'm actually like, would I hate it?

[Pete Holmes]

Probably.

[Clayton Ferris]

No, I.

[Pete Holmes]

There's always a part of you that hates it.

[Clayton Ferris]

I have a memory of being tickled by someone at like my church that I thought was like really cool or like picked up. And it made me. This is true. It made me fart.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

And so it's like. And it was a. It became a humiliating moment for me.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh. Because he was cool.

[Clayton Ferris]

He was cool. He picked me up. I farted in front of everyone standing around him. Core memory.

[Pete Holmes]

Picked you up. And it was tickling.

[Clayton Ferris]

Picked me up. It was just like. And I was. And I was like, squeeze. And it squeezed a fart out of me.

[Pete Holmes]

I feel like as grown ups. One of the great features of grown ups is a group of maybe even five grown ups can all agree that didn't happen in real time. We have a self deleting fart quality.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I mean?

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You have to decide. It's the same with walking in on somebody in the bathroom. A friend.

[Clayton Ferris]

Why is it so embarrassing? It shouldn't be that embarrassing.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not that. I saw your thigh. Right. It was actually me. My friend walked in. We didn't talk about it. I was like, we should. It just elevated our friendship. Nine clicks. That horrible.

[Clayton Ferris]

And it's always perfect icon.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. You always go, hi. Hey. Because you can't be like, that's what you want to do.

[Clayton Ferris]

You can't be like, oh no, no, I'm not doing anything. I promise I'm not.

[Pete Holmes]

I walked in on my father in law and he just looked like an infant.

[Clayton Ferris]

That's the part about it. People lose their. The aura you have of them.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that's right. You know, I think if we walked in on General Pat Patton pooping, none of his soldiers would have listened to him. You know what I mean?

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

That's the new. Like, don't try and like take a political person out. Just.

[Clayton Ferris]

Just release. Walk in of them pooping. That's true.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you wanna. Yeah.

[Clayton Ferris]

You're like not riffing that.

[Pete Holmes]

We can't riff it. Riff it to yourself. We can't do all the.

[Clayton Ferris]

Or those. My three questions.

[Pete Holmes]

It. Okay.

[Clayton Ferris]

Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, not a lot of guests thank me.

[Clayton Ferris]

Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

I look forward to posting a clip from this podcast. The value of that content sharing over 10k. But we expect you to do it. Thank you for being here.

[Clayton Ferris]

Thank you for having me. This was awesome, by the way.

[Pete Holmes]

You do not have to post about it. That was.

[Clayton Ferris]

Oh, no, I will.

[Pete Holmes]

I do think it's funny that when you get to a certain level.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

People want you to post things like, I'll do a game show.

[Clayton Ferris]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

They're like, post it. And you're like, but that. I'm promoting your game show. Give me money.

[Clayton Ferris]

Give me money. Right.

[Pete Holmes]

But they're like, but you were that. I'm like, well, even more reason to give me more. But it's silly.

[Clayton Ferris]

I mean, I just did a brand deal for St. Denis Medical.

[Pete Holmes]

Uhhuh. Is that a show?

[Clayton Ferris]

It's a TV show. It's a show on NBC. I want to just. I don't want to say this on air.

[Pete Holmes]

Actually, you can. Well, let's wrap it up and we'll.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You can all wonder, what was it gonna be? I love that show, by the way. So you think the earth is flat. Will you.

[Clayton Ferris]

Will we all die when Three Eye Atlas gets here? We'll find out tomorrow.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, it's sending messages. It says we're cousins. It's us from the future.

[Clayton Ferris]

Love it.

[Pete Holmes]

To usher us into a new thing.

[Clayton Ferris]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

In the same way that the Sumerians gave us one extra chromosome. Say keep it crispy before I. Keep going.

[Clayton Ferris]

Keep it crispy. You know, when you're just going about your busy day and a voice asks you something like, why do people have crushes? Or do dogs know their dogs? The Brainz on podcast is here to help. Every episode answers tough questions with funny skits, cool facts and more. It's a science show for kids of all ages. Whether you grew up with jfk, mtv, tlc, or tmz. Brainson is for you. Listening may induce uncontrollable laughter and turn backseat squabbles into harmonious car trips. Find Brainson wherever you get your podcasts.