You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Guest: Clayton Farris

Date: November 12, 2025

Episode Overview

In this lively and candid episode, Pete Holmes sits down with comedian and actor Clayton Farris for a classic “You Made It Weird” deep-dive into the peculiarities of life, the realities of working in entertainment, cycles of self-improvement and self-doubt, spirituality, old-school Oprah, social media burnout, the anxiety-inducing present, cold plunges, ghosts, and so much more. True to the show’s spirit, both Pete and Clayton share their “secret weirdness,” veering between humor and sincerity in equal measure.

Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Comedy, Sobriety, and Flexible Identities

[06:00–08:10]

• Pete and Clayton riff about the concept of brunch and segue into a candid discussion of alcohol, sobriety, and the discomfort of fixed labels.
• Clayton shares that he's gone about a year and a half mostly sober, but avoids strict labels:

  "I don't want to say that I'm completely sober because, like, if I do drink here and there, it's not, I'm not gonna, like...lie, you know, I'm not trying to lie."
  —Clayton [07:22]

• Both agree on resisting “club” mentalities and the feeling of imposter syndrome around groups like AA, with Pete referencing Groucho Marx:

  "I don't want any club that would allow me to be the treasurer."
  —Pete [08:09]

2. Fast Minds, Weed, and the Cost of Fuzziness

[10:13–12:48]

• They compare notes on being “quick” in wit and intellect, and the paradox that such people often self-medicate to slow down.
• Pete reflects on the impact of weed:

  "Why am I negotiating with memory and functionality to kind of feel occasionally like I'm in a hot tub, but I'm on my couch?"
  —Pete [12:20]

• Both recognize up and down cycles—streaks of health and excess—and liken their habits to celebrities subjected to media scrutiny, like Kirstie Alley and Oprah.

3. The Oprah Effect: Self-Help Culture

[14:08–15:48]

• Clayton credits Oprah for instilling in a generation the idea of self-work and self-help:

  "Because I would come home from school and literally...watch Oprah and it would always be a self help thing....that literally at a younger age, got in my head and was like, all right, always be fixing yourself."
  —Clayton [15:12]

• Pete and Clayton discuss the double-edged sword of self-improvement and self-acceptance—celebrating Oprah as an early spiritual “gateway.”

4. The Cycles and Traps of Showbiz Validation

[23:19–27:13]

• They riff on the endless “climb” of Hollywood, comparing it to Scientology's level system, always promising fulfillment at the next “tier.”
• Clayton reflects on the fleeting satisfaction of professional accomplishments:

  "Even like the small successes...they fill you up for shorter and shorter amounts of time."
  —Clayton [24:49]

• Pete analogizes buying a new iPhone—brief satisfaction, then boredom—as a metaphor for the actor’s and comedian’s chase for the next “hit.”

5. Discovering Acting as Craft, Not Just Performance

[28:14–29:25, 62:06–66:11]

• Clayton shares his early career, the joys and pressures of being a “character actor,” and the realization you’ll never be the “square-jawed” leading man.

  "I always feel like when I get a job at the level I'm at, I have to deliver. Like, I have to. Like. You know what I mean?"
  —Clayton [29:51]

• A pivotal transition came as he moved to LA, booked commercials, and, crucially, began to meditate out of audition anxiety. Only then did he start digging into the craft—training with Risa Bramon Garcia, and engaging with the “next layer” of acting.

6. Migration to LA, the Hotel Years, and Culture Shock

[31:32–45:01]

• Clayton relates his background—working as a hotel manager in Dallas (which, eerily, was his stated dream in sixth grade)—and seeing firsthand the excessive, sometimes seedy, behaviors of the wealthy.
• A friend’s casual suggestion prompted his move to LA, where he worked the Outfest Film Festival ticket booth, landed in Echo Park, and found exhilaration in “this huge world…tons of different people.”

  "I was at the Short Stop, smelling hot dogs wafting up. But, like, that was the experience in there."
  —Clayton [44:43]

• Both Pete and Clayton wax poetic about the ongoing magic of LA—even after years, the city’s “vibe” hasn’t worn off.

7. Social Media, Content Creation, and Avoiding Doomscrolling

[84:56–85:40]

• Despite making most of his living as an online content creator, Clayton is self-critical of social media’s anxiety churn:

  "As someone that makes my most of my living from the Internet, am at a current point where...I don't go on social media....Because it's just funneling this, like, fear and anxiety....Go on your little U and, like, see what's, like, close to you and you're like...it's just the same as it was."
  —Clayton [85:21]

• He advocates for “local living,” daily walks in his neighborhood, being present, and greeting neighbors—the kind of analog socializing and kindness the internet can’t replace.

8. Meditation, Baseline Calm, and Cold Plunges

[62:32–66:18, 97:16–100:08]

• Meditating to calm a jumbled brain helped Clayton thrive in auditions, and fostered a more present, less anxious state.
• The pair bond over cold plunging—Clayton in Sequoia’s wild rivers, Pete in at-home tanks:

  "You get this, like, all day, like, little secret. The whole day....Something's going wrong and you're like, at least I have my little glow friend."
  —Pete [99:51]

• Both note the addictive, mood-boosting qualities of the practice.

9. Ghosts, Belief, and Healthy Open-Mindedness

[74:05–77:17]

• Pete and Clayton riff on ghosts, conspiracy thinking, and the value of being open—but not credulous—to mysteries and fringe beliefs.

  "I think it's a dangerous...well, it can be dangerous either way. But I find my life gets way richer and more interesting the more open I am about all things."
  —Pete [74:05]

• Clayton shares he never personally saw the supposed ghost in his childhood home—only his mother and sisters.

10. Joy, Community, and How to “Actually Be of Service”

[81:04–83:08]

• Both highlight small, actionable kindness as the antidote to anxiety about the world:

  "Sometimes we just go to the coffee shop...hold her hand, make a sandwich, talk with you, you know, talk with a neighbor."
  —Pete [81:05]

• Clayton likens his Silver Lake neighborhood to his own “U”—his daily circuit of familiar faces, coffee shops, and community.

11. Laughter, Embarrassment, and Childhood Memories

[100:12–103:02]

• Pete asks about the hardest Clayton has laughed. He recalls deep, bond-forging laughter with his sisters, and a specific childhood “core memory”:

  "I have a memory of being tickled by someone at like my church that I thought was like really cool or like picked up. And it made me. This is true. It made me fart....It became a humiliating moment for me."
  —Clayton [101:30]

• Pete and Clayton riff on the universally mortifying and bonding quality of “accidental” body humor.

Notable Quotes & Moments

On validation from showbiz:

"You can endlessly, like, try to validate yourself by climbing and climbing and climbing."
—Clayton [23:34]

On the fleeting “high” of achievement:

"I felt happy about it for about 23 minutes...[then] everything fades. And, like, show business is just a bunch of people going, I bet the next one won't, though."
—Pete [25:44–26:16]

On being of service in an overwhelming world:

"By keeping myself or attempting to keep myself in a more like chill...more present...meditated place I can be more of service in the you around me and like to people around me..."
—Clayton [93:56]

On “making your own U":

"There's this, like...the road is a U...I'm always like, this is my little U. Where, like, I go to the different coffee shops every day, and I'm like, hey, Kevin, Like I see my different people on the U…I’m smiling at people, which scares people sometimes."
—Clayton [82:13]

Memorable Segments & Timestamps

• Brunch, tattoos, and fake origins: [03:07–05:45]
• Alcohol, sobriety, and the Groucho Marx “club” riff: [06:11–08:09]
• Oprah’s imprint on self-help culture: [14:08–16:16]
• Acting as identity/work ethic (Hotel manager stories): [31:16–41:19]
• Celebrity weight, media cruelty (Kirstie Alley/Oprah): [13:05–14:23]
• Booking jobs and the fleeting high—validation and disappointment: [25:27–26:16]
• Meditation, calm, and presence as superpower (acting): [64:26–65:59]
• Cold plunges—shared ritual, endorphin high: [97:16–100:08]
• Belief, ghosts, openness, and balancing skepticism with wonder: [74:03–77:17]
• Laughter, fart stories, and childhood humiliation: [100:12–103:02]

The Tone

The episode is playful, thoughtful, vulnerable, and rich with self-deprecating humor. Both Pete and Clayton bring a mixture of “universal weirdness” and relatable, 2020s anxieties—balancing jokes about brunch and ghosts with earnest discussions about presence, belonging, and finding meaning beyond fleeting social media fame or industry victories.

For Listeners

If you are struggling to keep up with the pace of life, hustling for showbiz (or other) validation, or just yearning for a non-toxic, open-minded, slightly weird chat about what really matters—this episode is for you. You’ll laugh, reflect, and, as Pete and Clayton repeat, perhaps remember to “be nice to the first person you see” (87:06)—and to “keep it crispy.”