You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Guest: Jason Alexander

Release Date: September 7, 2022

Episode Overview

This episode features Pete Holmes in conversation with iconic actor and comedian Jason Alexander. The two delve deeply into topics of celebrity, service, anxiety, authenticity, acting craft, spirituality, and personal growth. Alexander brings warmth and candor, sharing stories from his career, lessons learned through therapy, and philosophical reflections on art and life. The tone is self-deprecating, deeply human, and sprinkled with both hilarious and poignant moments. The focus remains on Alexander’s personal weirdness, emotional journey, and outlook, offering a rich portrait of the man behind George Costanza.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Nature of Celebrity & Service (15:53-20:31)

• Alexander’s Unanticipated Life: He discusses how he set out just to be a stage actor, not a celebrity.

  “I do not live a life that I anticipated in any way.” – Jason Alexander (15:59)

• Parental Influence & Service: His mother emphasized the value of a life in service, which he thought he was missing as an actor.
• Audience Impact: He frequently hears from people who found comfort in Seinfeld during hard times.

  “Honestly, you guys saved my life... Well, maybe I stumbled into a life of service.” – Jason Alexander (18:30)

• Reframing Service: Service does not have to be martyrdom or suffering.

  “Service, when it is in line with what you love doing anyway, that’s a beautiful symbiotic [thing].” – Pete Holmes (19:37)

2. Anxiety, Ego, and the Power of Attention (20:31-28:12)

• Panic Attacks on Broadway: Alexander recounts debilitating anxiety while performing in Broadway Bound.

  “Every part of my being is going, you gotta get off. Get off the stage.” – Jason Alexander (22:35)

• The Lesson from Larry Moss: His acting coach bluntly diagnoses:

  “You’re an egomaniac... It’s all about you. Nobody gives a about you, Jason. They want to see the story.” – Larry Moss via Jason Alexander (27:17)

• The Shift to Outward Focus: Shifting attention from self to serving one’s partner and the story dissolved the anxiety—a lesson for happiness and acting.

3. Philosophy of Awards, Community, and Theater (28:12-34:07)

• Awards vs. The Work: Alexander discusses never winning an Emmy for Seinfeld and what truly matters.

  “The award, honestly, was the job…” – Jason Alexander (30:14)

• Value of Community: He loves the communal nature of theater and collaborative creation—drawing parallels to human tribal needs.

  “There’s something about these pack animals that we are that love showing up, and everyone agrees this is what we’re doing.” – Pete Holmes (31:00)

4. Teaching, Directing, and Joy of Giving Back (33:03-36:04)

• Alexander as Teacher: Finds deep satisfaction and meaning in teaching and watching his students surpass his own accomplishments.

  “To help somebody up on your shoulder. That’s a cool, cool feeling… Go, go, go. Leave me in the dust. That’s fine.” – Jason Alexander (35:09)

• Service through Teaching: More than just a mechanical act, it is imbued with selfish joy and genuine service.

5. Money, Success, and a Working-Class Perspective (36:09-40:00)

• Relationship to Wealth: Despite financial security, Alexander remains frugal and invests most in experiences and his children's education rather than luxury.

  “We don’t spend on luxury things. Where we have spent our money is on our kids’ education… buying time with people we care about and having adventures.” – Jason Alexander (38:56)

• Therapy and Self-Acceptance: It took decades for Alexander to confront his fears, ego, and the deeper work of personal growth.

6. Authenticity, Ego, and Growth (41:05-48:47)

• Therapy Insights: Discusses overcoming ego-driven behaviors, people-pleasing, and craving validation.

  “I was hiding in plain sight... I didn’t love being in my skin.” – Jason Alexander (42:41)

• Process, Not Perfection: Emphasizes that the journey of self-acceptance and growth is ongoing.

7. The Art of Vulnerability and Comedy (51:29-55:56)

• What Makes Good Art: Using the stage—not to assert dominance, but to display vulnerability, weirdness, and insecurity.

  “Here’s my, here’s my foibles. Here’s my, that’s what Larry is so good at... I am the lord of the idiots.” – Jason Alexander (53:38)

• Boston/Jersey Ball Busting vs. Vulnerability: The hosts compare regional comedic styles. They both land on opening up as the key to real connection and laughs.

8. Mortality, Authenticity, and Permission to Be Yourself (57:05-62:17)

• Act Three of Life and Authenticity: Alexander’s self-work intensifies turning 60, seeking to “authentically be who I am.”
• Morning/Evening Mindset Hacks: Both share life-changing gratitude practices, inspired by Sadhguru and a Buddhist monk:
  • On waking: “A million people did not wake up today. You did.” – via Sadhguru (61:33)
  • On sleeping: “Replay all the things you did well that day… Go to bed in a sea of merit.” – Pete Holmes (63:55)

9. Physicality, Intention, and Acting Technique (80:45-88:52)

• Acting as Service: Emphasis on serving your scene partner above yourself.
• Physicality’s Role: Most actors underuse their bodies; intention should be visible through action, not just emotion or words.

  “The job—actions—that’s what we bring. That’s what’s not on the page.” – Jason Alexander (83:43)

• On Crying and Authenticity in Performance: Real tears aren’t the goal—affecting your partner/connections is.

10. Spirituality, Death, and The Afterlife (119:03-128:45)

• Open Approach to Meaning: Not religious, but not materialist; Alexander believes in a creative source, the conservation of energy after death, and a purpose behind existence.

  “I have trouble getting away from the notion of a creator. I don’t know if it’s sentient. I don’t know that it’s living in the way we think of living... I think the universe was created for purpose, and we are part of the exploration of that purpose.” – Jason Alexander (126:29)

• Through Line of Outwardness: Service, outward attention, and community are recurring elements in both his daily life and worldview.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Real Impact

  “Honestly, you guys saved my life... Well, maybe I stumbled into a life of service.”
  — Jason Alexander (18:46)

• On Therapy and Working on Yourself

  “You don't think much of yourself right now. You're in one of the top 5% of people in the world. Because you give a shit. And you're looking at it, and it's scary, and it's dark, and you don't like what you see in the mirror, and you're still looking in the mirror and you're still working on it.”
  — Jason Alexander (44:12)

• On Awards

  “The statue, I'll give you every statue in the world. You give me all that other stuff [the experience, colleagues, opportunities].”
  — Jason Alexander (30:41)

• On Panic Attacks and Ego

  “You’re an egomaniac. It’s all about you. Nobody gives a shit about you, Jason. They want to see the story.”
  — (Larry Moss via Jason Alexander, 27:17)

• On Generosity as Joy

  "To help somebody up on your shoulder. That’s a cool, cool feeling.”
  — Jason Alexander (35:09)

• On Spirituality

  “You cannot create or destroy energy, you can only change it. So I look at that and I go, well—what did that energy become? ...Having seen that, I tend to feel like whatever that is has soul connection on it.”
  — Jason Alexander (125:20)

Memorable Stories

• Seinfeld Set Stories:
  • Endless Block in the Parking Garage (143:03-149:47): Filming the “Parking Garage” episode, the cast became uncontrollably punchy and exhausted, laughing so hard during the trunk scene that Julia Louis-Dreyfus teared up, Michael Richards smashed his face on the air conditioner, and the car wouldn’t start—synergy, kismet, joy.

    “It’s not funny, Elaine. I hurt myself.” – (Michael Richards as Kramer, cut from final episode; 148:52)

• The Psychic Recommending a Fertility Doctor (116:57-118:46): Recounts a psychic naming, almost word-for-word, the fertility doctor who would finally help him become a father.
• Ghost Story in Montreal (109:33-113:35): While filming, the family experiences classic ghost phenomena—perfume scents, whispering in French, a nanny being pushed and attacked—which led them to evacuate the house.

Other Noteworthy Segments

• On EMF Sensitivity (101:29-104:51): Jason describes his and his wife's concern over electromagnetic fields, moving beds, wearing EMF-blocking undershirts, and the general surreality of modern anxiety.
• On Never Using Drugs or Alcohol (78:53-79:07): “I am the most boring man on the planet... I’ve never been drunk, I’ve never been high.”
• Acting Craft & Tools (83:57-88:52):
  • Recommends ‘Actions for Actors’ as a thesaurus for physical intentions and advocates for actors to physically inhabit their objectives.
  • Uses exercises such as performing entire scenes in gesture only, to reveal and reinforce intention.

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Celebrity Life & Service: 15:53–20:31
• Broadway Panic Attack Story: 20:50–28:12
• Meaning of Awards: 28:12–34:07
• Teaching and Giving Back: 33:29–36:04
• Money & Values: 36:09–40:00
• Self-Acceptance and Therapy: 41:05–48:47
• Comedy from Vulnerability: 51:29–55:56
• Spiritual Practices for Gratitude: 61:21–64:38
• Acting Technique, Physicality: 80:45–88:52
• Spirituality and Afterlife: 119:03–128:45
• Real-Life Ghost Story: 109:33–113:35
• Laughing Fit on Seinfeld Set: 143:03–149:47

Tone and Language

The episode is warm, candid, and alternates seamlessly between humor, self-deprecation, emotional honesty, and philosophical depth. Both Holmes and Alexander are comfortable naming their neuroses and laughing about them, modeling vulnerability as strength. Jason Alexander’s stories are marked by humility, comedic timing, and a desire to serve both audience and fellow artists.

Conclusion

This episode is a masterclass in vulnerability, acting philosophy, and the myth of celebrity happiness. Alexander pulls back the curtain on both the joy and the struggle of a life in the arts, grounding his reflections in service, authenticity, community, and self-discovery. The conversation is a must-listen for fans of comedy, theater, or anyone grappling with ego, meaning, or purpose.

Closing:

“Keep it crispy. It’s how we end. And that’s it... I really mean it. You’re serious. Orange juice.”
— Jason Alexander (150:26–150:39)