London Hughes

Summary

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Guest: London Hughes
Release Date: February 19, 2025

---

Episode Overview

This episode welcomes comedian, writer, and actor London Hughes for a conversation that is hilarious, deeply personal, and surprisingly therapeutic. Pete and London dig into issues of identity, self-worth, the Black British experience, transatlantic cultural differences, professional ambition, comedy, and reframing trauma. The episode is both entertaining and unexpectedly profound—a masterclass on confidence, vulnerability, and how to "keep it crispy."

---

Main Themes

• The Black British experience and underrepresentation in media
• Confidence, self-worth, and overcoming the victim mentality
• The difference between confidence and self-worth
• Cultural differences between the US and UK
• Reframing setbacks as opportunities for growth
• Manifestation, lineage, and spirituality
• Navigating relationships and self-validation

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Transatlantic Banter: UK vs US (02:35–16:00)

• Pete and London open with playful riffs about British and American culture, accents, and stereotypes.
  • “Americans are the Florida of the world” (14:32, London)
  • Discussion of how the British identity works: "British is the cake, everything else is the topping." (04:43–04:59, Pete and London)
• They joke about the origins of British dishes, spelling differences, and the legacy of colonization.

Black Britishness & Underreported Histories (16:00–24:00)

• London explains the history of Black Brits, centering on Caribbean migration post-WWII.
  • “My ancestors basically made Great Britain a superpower, but don’t benefit off of it because they stayed in the Caribbean” (18:47, London)
• Discussion on the “Windrush generation” and Britain's refusal to reckon with its colonial/slavery legacy.
• “That trauma—that’s the British experience. They did the worst things and don’t want to talk about it.” (25:12, London)
• Comparison to Germany’s “opening their can of worms” about history.

Institutional Racism and the Limits of UK Social Mobility (24:00–29:00)

• London elaborates on institutional racism in UK employment, housing, representation, and especially comedy.
• Unlike the U.S., British social mobility for Black people is far more limited; "No Black billionaires in the UK" (27:54, London).
  • “Britain doesn’t care how talented you are. You’re not going to be a billionaire if you’re Black.” (27:49, London)

The Comedy Glass Ceiling (28:00–30:00)

• Pete reflects on realizing he can only name American Black comedians; London notes she moved to LA to be authentically Black British in comedy.
  • “When you think of British comedy, you don’t think of Black people. I want to change that.” (29:25, London)

London on Confidence, Self-Worth & “Victim” Reframing (35:00–54:45)

• Pete and London unpack the crucial difference between confidence and self-worth:
  • “You have confidence, but you have low self-worth.” (37:06, London to Pete)
• London shares her experience with bullying (nicknamed "KFC" for eczema), which shaped her "victim" self-concept and drive.
  • “If I weren’t bullied, I probably wouldn’t have been a stand-up.” (53:51, London)
• The strategy for changing self-belief: repeated reframing, focusing on achievements, and ultimately believing "people love me, I make people laugh, I’m a genius." (54:11, London)
• “If you look for reasons why SNL don’t think you’re good enough, you’ll find them. But you’re just looking for them.” (55:12, London)
• The comfort (and trap) of "victim" mentality: "It’s the poison food that’s comfortable for me to eat." (55:58, Pete)

Manifesting Success, Comedy, and the Power of “They’ll See” (61:04–64:40)

• London discusses how she visualized her current life while broke, believing hard enough until the world caught up.
  • “Your world will start to reflect it.” (61:39, London)
• She emphasizes reframing low points as future chapters in her autobiography (63:16, London)
  • Pete echoes: “This will be on my TV...we’re doing it as an adult.” (63:54, Pete)

Show Business, Self-Worth, and the Role of Influencers (46:29–50:50)

• London reflects on speaking at a book festival, realizing even “talentless” influencers have self-worth she hadn’t valued: both popularity and authenticity matter.

Relationships & Self-Validation (87:17–101:17)

• London revisits her Netflix special “To Catch a Dick” and her dating outlook:
  • “I now have learned that I did not want to be dated... I didn't know.” (88:03, London)
• She explains how self-worth affects relationship choices: when you believe you’re worthy, you no longer date for validation, but for real connection.
• Discusses toxic dating patterns, love-bombing from “broke” men, and why she's now happily single until equals show up.

The Oprah Vision & Legacy (102:28–105:39)

• As a child, London was inspired by Oprah’s words: “I’d rather be Oprah than a mother.” (102:54, London)
• She wants to be a global Black British sensation—someone’s Oprah, someone’s reason to believe.
• Discusses the desire to transcend racial types in entertainment: “I want to be like Chris Rock, Kevin Hart, Dave Chappelle, London Hughes.” (105:00, London)

Black British Representation On-Screen (107:48–115:48)

• London details the absence of Black British women on-screen and the lack of authentic Black British stories in U.K. (and U.S.) films and TV.
  • “We’re not used to seeing Black people like this. We want to see the stereotype.” (114:01, London on UK gatekeepers)
  • She’s writing her own romantic comedy exploring this very subject.

Spirituality, Manifestation, and What Happens When We Die (116:54–126:53)

• London describes her journey from Christianity to a broader spirituality anchored in self-belief and “the universe.”
  • “The universe is me. We are all one.” (118:16, London)
  • She attributes her success to visualizing and genuinely believing in her achievements before they arrived.
• Pete and London discuss ghosts, “night nine” in Jamaican culture, and the continuity of energy after death.

---

Notable Quotes

• London (14:32): “America is the Florida of the world. I'm being so serious.”
• London (18:47): “My ancestors basically made Great Britain a superpower, but don’t benefit off of it because they stayed in the Caribbean.”
• Pete (37:13): “I would agree with that [having confidence but not self-worth].”
• London (54:46): “If we all felt like that, then we wouldn’t fall victim to 'they didn’t pick me.'”
• London (61:39): “Your world will start to reflect it.”
• London (88:03): “I did not want to be dated.”
• London (102:54): “I remember watching it and thinking, I'd rather be Oprah than a mother.”
• London (118:16): “The universe is me. We are all connected. We are the universe.”
• London (121:56): “There’s a core belief in both of us that we would be where we are now. And that is why we are where we are now.”
• London (128:14): "Keep it crispy."
• Pete & London (125:27): “We both saw it.”

---

Memorable Moments & Humor

• London’s definition: “Black British is the cake; everything else is the frosting.” (04:43–04:54)
• “Americans are the Florida of the world.” (14:32, London) – This running gag gets repeated, to Pete's delight.
• London’s recounting being bullied and called “KFC” (50:15), and Pete explaining his school nickname “Biter Shaft” (51:35)—both a hilarious and poignant exchange on childhood trauma.
• London and Pete singing emotional “believe in yourself” road trip anthems after bad shows: “Sing to the Moon” and “Someday.” (79:45–85:37)
• Running bits on language differences (“tube” vs “chube”, “chew our chicken masala”) and spontaneous accent switches.
• London manifesting her career with vision boards, Netflix specials, and world tours.
• The show closes with the first-ever “Keep it crispy” from a Black British woman (128:14).

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Cultural Stereotypes and Banter: 02:35–16:00
• The Black British Experience: 16:00–24:00
• Institutional Racism in the UK: 24:00–29:00
• Comedy and Representation: 28:00–30:00
• Confidence vs. Self-Worth: 35:00–54:45
• Reframing Trauma & Victimhood: 54:51–61:39
• Manifestation and Visualizing Success: 61:04–64:40
• Popularity vs. Authenticity in Showbiz: 46:29–50:50
• Relationship Patterns, Dating, and Growth: 87:17–101:17
• Defining the "Oprah Vision": 102:28–105:39
• Black British Women On-Screen: 107:48–115:48
• Spirituality & Ghosts: 116:54–126:53
• Outro / “Keep it crispy”: 128:12

---

Tone

The episode is candid, warm, and laugh-out-loud funny, but also unflinchingly honest about self-doubt, systemic racism, and the work required for genuine self-worth. London’s voice is direct, charismatic, playful yet wise, and Pete brings his trademark enthusiastic curiosity and emotional vulnerability. They create a space where deep personal and cultural insights ring out just as clearly as the best punchlines.

---

Summary

This episode is much more than a comedy chat—it’s an exploration of how we become who we are, and how to keep pushing, reframing, and dreaming bigger. London Hughes emerges as a force: funny, visionary, and fiercely determined to change the picture for Black British women in comedy and the wider world. By the end, you’ll be rooting for her to win her Oscar—and thinking twice about your own self-worth, too.

Transcript

[A]

You made it weird. You made it weird.

[B]

You made it weird.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you made it weird. Made it weird.

[B]

Yes, you did. You made it weird. With Pete Holmes. What's happening, weirdos? This is London Hughes, who is a hilarious person, comedian, actor, writer, and turns out, self help extraordinaire, because I wasn't expecting this. I met London at a show that we were doing for Adam McKay's. It was like an environmental show. It was super fun and she was there and she killed it. But I also really, really enjoyed talking to her and I'm so glad that she came on the podcast and kind of extended that, that energy. And you're about to hear, she's a delight. But also, this is not what I was expecting. Ended up being like a really helpful discussion about self worth and the difference between, like, confidence and loving yourself. And I was, I was blown away. This is one of those, like, you know, you're driving on the highway of life and you pull over and you think you're just getting a cheeseburger, but then they have this whole other psych ward there that breaks you down and helps you. So I'm glad you're here. Unexpected and in the most delightful way. Follow her on Social. It's the London Hughes. And check out her special on Netflix. It's called To Catch a Dick. Dick is bleeped. But we can say it here because it's a podcast. I'm also on Tour. Go to peteholmes.com for all my tour dates. I'm about to be in Vancouver this weekend. I believe that's sold out, which I'm stoked about. And then followed by that, on March 4th, I'll be at Largo. The last Largo was incredible. Brett Goldstein did it. Mo Welch did it. D Dana Gould. Always the highlight of my month is my Largo show. And the next one is March 4th. Always means so much when weirdos come out to that. Followed by April 5th is the Largo. After that, Atlantic City, New Jersey, Austin, Texas, St. Louis, Missouri, Nashville, Tennessee, Irvine, California, San Jose, California, and Royal Oak, Michigan. All of those are on PeteHolmes.com if you've seen me in any of those places recently. It is a new hour and a half and I'm really. I know I always say this, but I love this new hour so, so, so much. So hope to see you out there if you can. Peteholmes.com for all of your Pete Holmes and Pete Holmes needs. All right, everybody, I'm so glad you're here. London Hughes, Enjoy. Get into it.

[A]

Have we started?

[B]

We can.

[A]

Should we start?

[B]

I like it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You say you want to welcome everybody to the show. Wait, no.

[A]

Tell me stuff, because what camera am I on? Well, that's your looking.

[B]

That's your clothes. That's your.

[A]

Hey, Siri, put my phone on. Do not disturb.

[B]

Is that a nails thing?

[A]

Yeah, it's a nails thing, but I'm also very lazy.

[B]

It's a lazy nails.

[A]

Also, I'm not tech savvy, so to swipe it and find the button when I could just use my mouth. Yeah, I prefer to use my mouth.

[B]

See, I Krasinski to that camera. You Krasinski to that.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

Well, I'm so thrilled that you're here.

[A]

Thanks for having me.

[B]

I so enjoyed meeting you at.

[A]

For 10 seconds.

[B]

Well, I feel like it was an impactful 10.

[A]

Yeah, it was. You dig me?

[B]

I did dig you. Is that what you said?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

No, I. I was very. What I say to my wife is very silly. I always go. I go very taken with her. Yeah, that's. I. There's. Sometimes I'm taken with.

[A]

It happens. People get taken with me.

[B]

Yeah, I believe it. You have a certain kavorka.

[A]

I believe I'm learning new words every day.

[B]

I think it's Yiddish. I looked at Katie.

[A]

Is it Yiddish?

[B]

It's from Seinfeld.

[A]

Kavorka.

[B]

They say that Kramer has a certain kavorka means. People are like. Is that the. Is that anything coming up?

[A]

Yeah, it's a Latvian curse which causes women to fall in love with.

[B]

Oh, it's a Latvian curse that causes.

[A]

Women to fall in love with you.

[B]

But. So I guess you don't have a kavora.

[A]

Right. So is there one for men to fall in love with me?

[B]

Kiss or. Oru.

[A]

Oru orokai. Caish is all I know.

[B]

Gelta fish.

[A]

There we go. Yeah, that. Are you Jewish?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Honored.

[A]

Do you know what? Yeah. This sounds crazy, but being from the uk.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Jewish. Like, Jewish people aren't really. Like, if they're there.

[B]

I'm so nervous.

[A]

No, you shouldn't be.

[B]

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

[A]

I'm not nervous if they're there. They're not. Like, we're Jewish. So, like, the whole time I were friends with people that were Jewish, I just didn't know. I just thought they were white.

[B]

Can we start there? Because you're a black. British.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And British is. Is the cake.

[A]

Is the cake.

[B]

You order the cake based on British. And there might be. Oh, there's some black there.

[A]

Might be some black and British.

[B]

Or there may be some Jewish.

[A]

Jewish. British.

[B]

But it's a British. But it's a British cake, right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I just watched Bad Sisters. Did you watch that show?

[A]

No.

[B]

Quite good. There's a young woman who's amazing, and she's an Asian. Like, East Asian. Is that East Asian? I don't know where she's from. I think she might be Korean or maybe something like that. And then something like that. I'm already in trouble. Is it worth it?

[A]

White man, dick in a hole.

[B]

Yeah, but I'm in trouble. You do it.

[A]

Tell me. Let me do it.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

What should I talk about? What kind of Jewish people? Let's go.

[B]

What kind of Asian person?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I don't know what flavor whites. All the whites are, you know?

[A]

I don't know what flavor whites. All the whites are.

[B]

No one knows what flavor.

[A]

This is why I actually want to ask you as a white man.

[B]

Okay. So if you think we're not gonna come back to black British being the British cake. That's a big topic.

[A]

That's a big topic. But I wanna know.

[B]

She's Irish, and so she's an Irish cake. It's funny that. Like that. There's some things that are so big, you go, that's an Irish.

[A]

Yeah. But the Brits and the Irish, we've got. You know, there's history there.

[B]

Potato famine.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Which is not a joke, by the way. People were starving to death.

[A]

Britain is terrible.

[B]

Shout out to David o' Doherty anytime I mention potato famine. I know. Yeah, you've done. I mean, I don't want to say done.

[A]

The people of Britain.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have done a lot.

[B]

They sure have. I'm actually kind of like a modern Rome.

[A]

We've gone on so many tangents.

[B]

Why do they take tea in Uganda? Not a good answer.

[A]

Not a good answer.

[B]

It's not a good answer at all.

[A]

Why Britain is the worst country in the world.

[B]

Well, it's very ambitious. It's got a little.

[A]

It's not ambitious. It actually delivered, unfortunately, and that's why it's.

[B]

You mean it delivered on that image?

[A]

Yeah, I think it did.

[B]

Yeah. It sure did. When you think of India, you think of a British man in one of those khaki hard hats. The national, like killing a tiger just to eat, like, one of its whiskers.

[A]

The national dish of the UK is a curry.

[B]

That's. I know.

[A]

It's a chicken tikka masala.

[B]

I didn't know that, but that was that's actually a British dish, though.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

You knew that.

[A]

Yes. We colonized.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

India took over and then took their ingredients and went, it's too spicy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then remixed it and made a lesser spicy meal that we stole and.

[B]

That the whites love. I love chicken masala. I love. Look, I'm just saying I'll represent my group and say all of us love chicken tikka masala. It's like a sweet. What is it? It's kind of sweet.

[A]

There's something creamy.

[B]

Barely spicy.

[A]

Not spicy. Curry. Oh. Oh, it's amazing.

[B]

And that's the national dish.

[A]

National dish of the national dish. We don't actually have anything that's ours because we stole so much from other countries.

[B]

Well, what about bangers and mash? I'm not trying to be funny.

[A]

Do you know what? I haven't done the research. That might be ours.

[B]

It's pretty bad.

[A]

But Britain stole everything else. Like, tea is not as. You know, tea is stolen.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Everything is stolen.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Fish and chips stolen.

[B]

Where'd they steal that from?

[A]

I think Scandinavia. Like, I don't think that is. Don't quote me, but it's not British.

[B]

Scots fired.

[A]

Literally. Scots fired. Literally. They were firing bombs.

[B]

Well, everything has a horrible history.

[A]

Literally.

[B]

Yeah. So anyway, remember when we all. We used to fight with spices?

[A]

Well, this is the thing.

[B]

It's like, I got some cinnamon. How many people died? 3,000.

[A]

Colonize and kill people for spices.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why didn't you learn how to use them? That's all I want to know.

[B]

London. I don't think this is actually funny, but one time I was stoned and I was crying, laughing. It took me about 15 minutes to get this out. I go, this is my impression of a British guy going to Mexico for the first time, like, traveling to Mexico, and he tries salsa and he goes, why would you do that?

[A]

That is funny.

[B]

You think it's funny?

[A]

It's very accurate.

[B]

Why would you do that?

[A]

100%.

[B]

Why are you mental?

[A]

100%. Someone had said that eating salsa. Said that. Done that. What million.

[B]

Is this a weapon?

[A]

100%.

[B]

I'm sorry for the answer is a weapon. Is this a weapon?

[A]

There we go.

[B]

Is this a weapon? Are you daft?

[A]

Should I speak like this the whole time and just be American? Should we switch?

[B]

That's good.

[A]

Thank you so much.

[B]

Oh, very good. How do you do it? What do you tell yourself? I'm like, get fancy.

[A]

You say get fancy.

[B]

Oh, no, I don't. But you're get fancy. Do you sing it do we sing our words? Is that how it sounds?

[A]

Yeah. La. People from LA sing their words. It's like, I'm going to the.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Store.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to the store.

[A]

Store.

[B]

I'm not sure what happens.

[A]

What happens? What happens?

[B]

What happened?

[A]

Yeah. Everything up. I've started doing that. So anytime. So every Sunday, I have family FaceTime with my family back in the UK.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Mainly because my dad doesn't want me to have an American accent. So every week he checked me and my sisters, they check me because. Oh, my God. So I said, so Americans say dues, so we say Jews. We're paying our dues.

[B]

Jews.

[A]

Yeah. Yes. We're back to Jews. So, like, if you're paying your dues.

[B]

Jus.

[A]

Yes. D, U, E, S. Jus. We do the ju. That's a juice in Britain, but in America, it's a duh.

[B]

Du.

[A]

So they'll be like, we're paying our dues.

[B]

Okay, I'll give you one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What kind of shiny metal foil we putting on our sandwiches?

[A]

Aluminium. Aluminium instead of aluminum.

[B]

Brilliant.

[A]

And the thing is, the spelling is different so that I get that.

[B]

Yeah. You still putting the U in some words?

[A]

We have extra eyes to use. And jewelry. We spell it different, you guys.

[B]

Jewelry.

[A]

J, E, W, E, L, L, E, R, Y.

[B]

Okay. And that's W, R, O, N, G.

[A]

It's obviously not because I speak English well.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But some of those letters fell out of the boat on the way.

[A]

You know why, though?

[B]

Why?

[A]

Oh, you don't know.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I'm teaching a white man sound.

[B]

Yes, please, Brit Splane this. Yeah, but you've already. You've already taught me nine things, so, I mean, like, you're doing quite well. I'm only trying to provoke and keep you going because it's a lot of fun.

[A]

I could tell you.

[B]

Yeah, please.

[A]

It's because of the American printing press. So in New York, in the early days of print journalism, if you're York.

[B]

How do you feel about New York?

[A]

I mean, how dare New England. How. How dare you?

[B]

New England.

[A]

Everything's new to you guys because you discovered America.

[B]

It's quite old, actually.

[A]

It's actually old.

[B]

It's real old.

[A]

It was here before you discovered it.

[B]

And then we just.

[A]

And then you just really did what you wanted.

[B]

We broke up with England and then we called it. It's like breaking up with a woman named Charlotte and then breaking up is a big, messy breakup. Then you call her and go, I got a new Girlfriend. Her name is New Charlotte.

[A]

New Charlotte.

[B]

She's better.

[A]

How dare you?

[B]

She's free.

[A]

Is she?

[B]

She's free.

[A]

Is she?

[B]

She's free.

[A]

Does she have free health care?

[B]

She's free.

[A]

She doesn't. No. She doesn't?

[B]

No. Universal?

[A]

No.

[B]

Do you guys have free health care?

[A]

Yes. America's the only country. Free dental? Yes. How dare you?

[B]

You got great teeth.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

I checked before I did the riff.

[A]

I didn't realize that that was a thing until I came here. That Americans think that British people don't have good teeth.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Think, think, think with an F. Oh.

[B]

Your dad comes in.

[A]

Think, think, think. Wait, you've gone on tangents. Pink. What was I trying to say?

[B]

Welcome to the American printing press.

[A]

Basically, they had to pay per letter.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

So what they discovered is they can just make the same word but take out the letters.

[B]

I see.

[A]

And that became the way American English is spelled.

[B]

Is that for like or for like?

[A]

For everything. So they were like jewelry? Nah. Too many elves.

[B]

Okay, the more things change. Right now we're texting and thru is in the dictionary. Yeah, we got it in. We pushed it over the line.

[A]

It's not in Britain. It is here, though.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

We would not put that in the Oxford English Dictionary. How dare you.

[B]

By the way, how lucky is Oxford that Oxford just sounds like what Oxford is trying to be?

[A]

I mean. Yeah, that's true.

[B]

Like, it matches it.

[A]

Yeah, Oxford.

[B]

Even the shirt. Cambridge, too. I learned that in Cambridge.

[A]

Cambridge. It does sound.

[B]

It's perfect.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If Oxford was Manchester. Nope. No dice.

[A]

Or Birmingham. Not the same.

[B]

Nope. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. So it's to save bread.

[A]

Yeah. To take money and what are the.

[B]

Other words that your dad.

[A]

So my dad makes sure the teas as well. So you guys would say YouTube.

[B]

YouTube.

[A]

We say YouTube.

[B]

You chew.

[A]

T U is a ch. So Tuesday, Monday. Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday.

[B]

That's when we chew our chicken masala.

[A]

Tu is chew. Tube socks. YouTube.

[B]

Tuesday, take the tube.

[A]

Take the tube. Chube, chube, chube.

[B]

This sounds like something like, you know, I have a trip coming up and you want me to be a fool.

[A]

Yeah, be a fool. That's. If you said, where's the tube? They'd be like, American. How dare you.

[B]

And what's the tude? The chewed tube. No, no. What's the chewed towards Americans.

[A]

The attitude.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They hate you guys right now.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Especially after Trump. Yeah, yeah. The second time. Yeah.

[B]

Because we.

[A]

Trump. The first time was a laughingstock. Like, I remember because I'm an agent of chaos. I was in the UK and I was like, oh, I'm an agent of chaos. Like, I'm like, what if it just. What if it goes wrong? I'm an agent of chaos. And so I didn't think Trump was going to win, but I was like, oh, my God, what if it.

[B]

What if we did?

[A]

And me and my family would laugh.

[B]

I never even thought about that. That's how Ding dong shingle bong I was.

[A]

Ding dong shingle bong.

[B]

You didn't think he would win the first time?

[A]

We were like, Americans. So Americans are the Florida of the world.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I'm being so serious. America is the Florida of the world. I'm being so serious, like, and I'm not sure America actually knows that they're the Florida. I think they think that Florida just like, Florida.

[B]

Florida doesn't know that.

[A]

That's.

[B]

That's the whole. That's what makes you Florida.

[A]

Right. America is the Florida of the world.

[B]

You can't know.

[A]

You can't know. You're the Florida.

[B]

One out of 150,000 Floridians is like, are we the Florida?

[A]

Might be the Florida.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

America is the Florida of the world. So the rest of the world knows America is the Florida of the world. So we are like, of course they'll be stupid enough to elect a reality TV star as president. Like, but then when they. When you guys, you know, did it, we were like, the second. Like, the first time we were like, florida, the world. But the second time we were like, oh, America has a problem. So now. Now with the Elon Musk stuff. Yeah, yeah. They hate America.

[B]

Really?

[A]

When I went back to England, they.

[B]

Don'T just kind of feel bad.

[A]

No, they just. They just. They're angry with.

[B]

Because when things get goofy in the uk.

[A]

But the thing is, being goofy in the UK doesn't really affect America. America is such a superpower that, like, everything that America does affect. Yeah. It ripples. It affects the uk and so, yeah, we're just.

[B]

So that's why you're mad? It's not just a reality TV show.

[A]

No, it's real. Like, America. Britain says we have a special relationship with America, and that's been the whole thing. And so now we're like, we kind of want a divorce. We don't want to be in a special relationship with you guys, because you guys are stupid. That's stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

[B]

That's another one.

[A]

Instead of stupid. There we go. Stupid, stupid.

[B]

It's funny to argue on how to say stupid, stupid. I know one of us stupid is being stupid.

[A]

Yeah, you're being stupid and I'm being stupid.

[B]

Never change.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

So, okay, so I go to London. Are they going to be kind of like, yeah, how does that come out?

[A]

We're very passive aggressive, so it's not going to come out. No one's going to be in your face and say anything to you. But they'll stupid American.

[B]

Do you, do you, are you a prideful, like, do you have pride for the uk?

[A]

I am a proud.

[B]

Proud. That's what I mean.

[A]

Black British woman and a proud Los Angeleno.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

So I'm. Yeah, I'm.

[B]

I see.

[A]

I'm both proud for both things for different reasons.

[B]

I get it.

[A]

Yeah. But I'm very proud.

[B]

It's very American to spit America out of your mouth and then in the next sentence be like, and I'm proud.

[A]

Yeah. Literally. This is what I like about.

[B]

I wasn't joking.

[A]

The audacity.

[B]

No, that's. You're, you're fitting.

[A]

I'm kind of into it. Well, I'm kind of into it also. My personality is not British. I have a very American personality.

[B]

That's interesting. You know, I hate this. I think you might be. One of the reasons I'm taken is like, we want our Brits to be like you because you are like, we want our Chinese food to be American.

[A]

Chinese and you want your Brits to be American Brits.

[B]

Yeah. And sometimes you go to Britain and you're eating a hard boiled egg and there's a, an unborn chicken in it. It's a little too Chinese. Yeah, you don't want Chinese food.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

And then they have Kung Pao chicken and you're like, I love Chinese food.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And that's kind of what you are. You're kind of Kung Pao. And I mean that as a high compliment.

[A]

I'm a padded.

[B]

Be very charismatic American Brit. Yes.

[A]

100%.

[B]

With the hard accent.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And you're happy to field. I feel like such an idiot.

[A]

You should see my TikTok right now because it's Black History Month. So black Americans are just asking me things. And like, I'm like teaching that, like today I'm doing a video about black British history because a lot of Americans don't.

[B]

Don't know anything.

[A]

Don't know anything. They don't even know that, like black Brits are also the descendants of slaves. There's people telling me that my ancestors weren't slaves, which is insane.

[B]

I mean, I'm going to be Honest with you, that is underreported.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The idea that Great Britain had slaves from Africa as well.

[A]

Well, not as in it had slaves, but Caribbean slavery, which is bas, basically.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Why'd I even take a guess?

[A]

Yeah. So basically your ancestors decided. Your people.

[B]

We were over there.

[A]

Your answers.

[B]

I'm just kidding. I'm also. All the bad ones.

[A]

Your ancestors decided.

[B]

All the bad ones. You know what I mean?

[A]

All the bad.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

Decided to take slaves from Africa to America. And I think everyone talks about American slavery, but nobody talks about Caribbean slavery. So at the same time, they took slaves from Africa to the Caribbean. Okay. The thing about American slavery is it benefited America, as in, all the money from slavery went into America, and that's why America is a superpower today. The money from Caribbean slavery went to Great Britain. So literally all my ancestors basically made Great Britain a superpower, but don't get to benefit off of it because they stayed in the Caribbean, which is poor. Wow. And so essentially, my ancestors were slaves and basically made Europe great. And black American ancestors are slaves and made America great. So we have more in common. Yeah, But I think people don't know that Caribbean anything about Caribbean slavery.

[B]

And then they were folded in. I hate to say they, but the Caribbean slaves were brought into the uk.

[A]

No, they stayed in the Caribbean. But then after World War II, the Queen owned all of the Caribbean.

[B]

Is it the Second World War? What if I like.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

The amount that, I don't know. Staggering. World War II, they did a reboot.

[A]

So after World War II. Yes, the Queen owned the Caribbean. At this point, she pretty much owned several countries in. In Africa and all of the Caribbean. And so after World War II, Britain was screwed. Like, it won the war, but economic, economically, it was struggling. And the Queen decided to send for her Caribbean people to come over to the UK and rebuild it after World War II. So not only were the Caribbeans the descendants of slaves that helped to make Great Britain great, hundreds of years later, the Queen has the audacity to tell those same people to come back to come to the UK and build it and make it better.

[B]

And when you say build it, you mean literally build it?

[A]

Literally. My grandma was a nurse and she came over to the UK to work, and she basically made the NHS free. The reason why the NHS is free is because of Caribbean people that came over to work. The national healthcare system exists and is free to this day because of Caribbean people. And then my granddad came over and he rebuilt half of Peckham, South London. The reason why London looks so great is because Caribbean people came over and helped rebuild the roads and rebuild the buildings in the uk. So thanks to Caribbean people, the UK is back to where it was. But they didn't get paid the same.

[B]

I was going to say, was it. It was, it wasn't a full slave situation.

[A]

No, it wasn't. They got paid, but they got paid a fraction.

[B]

It was, it was kind of like a sideways.

[A]

And they weren't allowed to own property.

[B]

So it was basically. It was just slavery under a different.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Name.

[A]

And it was basically the reason why, you know, America is where it is today and is. Is off the. We know is off the back of black people. And I think that that's something that America tells you, like lets you know, like, you know, slavery was a thing in the uk. They hide it all. They don't teach us anything about it. They don't tell us in school. It's not. No, they just trying to hide all the stuff they did. They don't want to admit it. So there's people that were walking around in the UK that have no idea.

[B]

I don't remember the episode of the Crown where she bring them here.

[A]

Yeah, no, like, so we have a thing called the Windrush. They came over on a boat called the Empire Windrush and this was the first, the first Caribbean came over 75 years ago. So this is like recent history.

[B]

Wait, it's like one generation of black British, maybe like two to three, but 75 years ago.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So those people have kids.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And I'm now born in Britain, third generation, basically.

[A]

Well, I am personally not. Because my mom was born in America and. Sorry. In Jamaica, but she came over to England when she was like eight.

[B]

I see.

[A]

And my grandma was born in Jamaica, but she came over to England when she was like 18. And then my great grandma just stayed in Jamaica, but my great, great grandma, I think she would come over. So like literally there's like, it's all, it's not like kill it clear cut.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But essentially black British people are the descendants of Caribbean slaves and colonization in Africa.

[B]

Wow. I really appreciate this.

[A]

No worries.

[B]

I hope I can hold on to it.

[A]

Hold on to it.

[B]

I'm going to hold on to it.

[A]

The thing is I'm. I'm happy to teach it. I'm just so sad that so many people don't know it.

[B]

Forget me because I'm just some dumbass.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

That's for you.

[A]

What's this?

[B]

That has a little bit of THC in it. Just a wee bit.

[A]

I'm gonna take this home.

[B]

You may.

[A]

I'm not gonna drink it.

[B]

Dad grass. Take the edge off like a dad.

[A]

Okay. I want.

[B]

Oh, drink that. That's magic. Mine. It's a little sweet. It's got a little bit of agave in it.

[A]

I love agave.

[B]

You on this.

[A]

I love agave.

[B]

Cuz you're a high processing fast talker like me. You'll love this. And you can take some with you if you want. It's really, really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's. We won't do an ad for it. I'm just saying it's great for. Stand up like 15 minutes before I go on stage. You'll love it. Boom, boom, boom. And you can have as much dad grass as you want. That is like. I'm not a huge weed person, but that's just. It's like a microdose, basically.

[A]

That's good because that's the thing about wheat. My friends, when they come over from the uk, they come over here and they buy weed drinks and they drink the whole bottle. Not reading that. You're only supposed to have a shot of it.

[B]

Well, in their defense.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're buying a can of a drink.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Every other inebriate.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Is like, drink this can.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Weed is like, don't sit out.

[A]

Drink the can.

[B]

You have a 28 by 28 ice cube tray that you could dose this out in.

[A]

Literally. What?

[B]

Yeah, I know that is on the weed companies.

[A]

Yes, it is.

[B]

That's actually dad grass's thing. They're not sponsoring this episode or anything. But they're like, weed is too damn strong. So they're making like weak weed things.

[A]

I love this.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. You'll enjoy. Where were we? Oh, I was gonna say, forget about me. Some dumbass. Like, there's millions like me that don't understand this history. What was it like growing up in Britain and having. Because there's the trauma that we didn't.

[A]

Know we had because they didn't teach us.

[B]

Exactly. And then there. And I'm talking about any trauma. If it's abuse in a family. What often compounds and makes it worse is no one will talk about it or acknowledge it. Was that kind of experience.

[A]

Yes. And that's the British experience. So that's what they do. They. They did the worst things imaginable. Don't want to talk about it. Like, it's like a family member that, like, you know when you have this, like emotionally unavailable family members.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah. You know, and like they just. We're just going to cover it up. We're not going to talk.

[B]

Don't open that.

[A]

Don't open. We're not doing that. Don't talk about why that happened. And then we're just gonna pretend it.

[B]

Didn'T happen and then it ends up steering the car.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That's what I always want to scream to these people is they're like, I don't want to open that can of worms. I'm like, bitch, that can of worms.

[A]

Is the reason why we're here.

[B]

And it's doing everything behind the scenes.

[A]

And this is why.

[B]

Thrilled. You're not opening it.

[A]

Right. And this is why I respect Germany, because Germany opened it. Germany said, yeah, we did some terrible things.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And there's a word for it in German that.

[B]

That means they have a word.

[A]

We did terrible things. Britain was, like, wounded. I don't even know.

[B]

Yeah, they're like.

[A]

We'Re not going to racist country. They did a report recently, like, last year, and Britain did a report on itself and determined that it's not racist. Like, yeah, they do. They literally gaslight us all the time. They got. They gaslight black British people all the.

[B]

Time and just report to you.

[A]

Yeah, we did a report. We're not racist.

[B]

And what was your experience?

[A]

I think that Britain is. I always say this. It's institutionally racist.

[B]

In which institution?

[A]

Everyone. Every institution.

[B]

Housing?

[A]

Everything.

[B]

All of it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Education, Everything. Employment?

[A]

Everything.

[B]

All of them.

[A]

It's just like. It's so part of British history. It's like it's in the blood. Like, no, people aren't gonna, you know, shout at you and call you the N word in the street. British people don't really do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But there are systems in place to keep white. White language like that, like classism. So at least in America, because of capitalism, you could be Beyonce, you know, you could be Oprah.

[B]

Yeah. When you said the queen brought them over, I was like, beyonce.

[A]

Exactly. That's the only queen. That's the only queen. You guys reference Queen Bee. And I get it. I really. You know what? I get it.

[B]

You have two queens.

[A]

We have the. Well, she died.

[B]

Well, you have the king.

[A]

I know she's dead now, but Queen Elizabeth. Yeah, yeah. She was responsible for some. Not her personally, but, yeah, her.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Monarchy was responsible for terrible things. But they won't tell you about it. They don't want to talk about it. And so I say in America, you can be Beyonce, you can be Oprah.

[B]

Because of capitalism.

[A]

Because of capitalism. Britain doesn't do capitalism.

[B]

Well, our cake is money first.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Britain isn't. They don't care.

[B]

Britain first.

[A]

Britain first.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

They don't give a damn how talented you are.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you think there's no black billionaires in the uk? Well, there's none.

[B]

We. We have Dre.

[A]

There's so many.

[B]

You're just talking about the fake Martha Stewart. I know Martha Stewart's not black, but she is a woman. She is a woman and she's a billionaire.

[A]

She's friends with Snoop Dogg. So, you know, is she black? I don't know. Yeah, but basically, essentially, she was a billionaire. Britain is a place where the sea. There's a. There's a ceiling for. For black people in the uk. And I noticed it really early when it came to entertainment, because I grew up watching American television. American television, and black people were allowed to be on TV in America. So when I was a kid, the first black woman I saw on TV was American. It was Aunt Viv in the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

[B]

They did the. Oh, the first answer.

[A]

Yeah. The first Janet Hubert.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And that does something to you as a young girl, because I'm like, I'm black, I'm British. I sound like this. But when I turn on the tv.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

The black people I see don't sound like this.

[B]

They did a joke like that on Extras, on series two of Extras, where they go, name. I forget how they set it up, but it was a situation where someone was saying to somebody to go, name a famous black comedian. And he goes, prior Rock Chappelle. He goes, british.

[A]

And he goes, I'm. That.

[B]

I didn't get it. You're. You're helping me understand.

[A]

That is the problem. So that's why I'm in America, because when you think of black British comedy. Black British comedy. When you think of BBC.

[B]

Is that what BBC stands for?

[A]

That's what it stands for. Black British comedy. When you think of British comedy, you don't think of black people.

[B]

No.

[A]

You think of Mr. Bean and you think of. Of. I don't know what you think of. But you think of white men.

[B]

Well, yeah.

[A]

Whereas when you think of American comedy. Yes, you also think of white men, but you think of black men, too. And black women.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so, for me, I want to change that. So I was like, I'll come to America and I'm going to be authentically black British. I'm going to do black British comedy in America. And that way, when you think of British comedy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Black People are in the mix too.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, that's beautiful.

[A]

That's my remit for coming here.

[B]

You have one American that's very. Yay.

[A]

What is it? Ques. What's the word?

[B]

Coffers.

[A]

Kavorian.

[B]

Kavorian. Oh, kavora.

[A]

Kavor.

[B]

Kavorian. Very different. That's being euthanized. Dr. Kavorki needs to.

[A]

I've heard of that. Yeah. I was like, what? Kavori? Kovorka.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We have kavorka.

[B]

Yeah. And then. It's funny, I thought I was anticipating that you might say, establishes. And this is not what I want. I thought you were going to say, establish myself in LA and then go back.

[A]

Never going back.

[B]

Never going back.

[A]

I'm a proud Los Angeleno.

[B]

Yeah, I understand.

[A]

They're not like us.

[B]

They not like us.

[A]

They're not like us.

[B]

You know, I ran into Kendrick at the Super Bowl. It was such an awkward conversation. He looked at me and he goes, you Drake now.

[A]

Oh, wow. You are Drake. You are Drake.

[B]

He wasn't joking. He was like, you're Drake now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He did say you Drake.

[A]

Do you know what Drake stands for?

[B]

Dirty, racist, arrogant. There's no good ways to start with K. What is it?

[A]

No. Don't rap against Kendrick. Ever.

[B]

Why did I guess don't rap? Can you imagine getting called a pedo?

[A]

Ah, no.

[B]

In the Super Bowl.

[A]

No.

[B]

And I was there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Everyone yelled.

[A]

I'm so happy. It was such an amazing moment for me as a Los Angeleno.

[B]

Tell me why.

[A]

So there's a black British community out here that we've all left.

[B]

You have a bar?

[A]

We have a bar. There's several. There's several bar. It's not a black British bar. It's a British bar. But black Brits go there and we watch football games.

[B]

Are there a lot of World Cup Euros?

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Well, basically, during the Super Bowl, I went to my friend's house, and my friend is black British, but she lives in la, and a lot of our friends are black British. And we've all come to LA and we are all proud of. We love living in la. And so we were watching it with also black Americans, and we're black Brits. And we all had the same reaction. And it was just like watching it. Not only was the Drake stuff amazing, it was such a love letter to black America that we were, like, so amped and so excited. And the bit when he actually did not like us because we were like, is he gonna do it? So the whole, is he gonna do it? I Loved all that. Because I was like, we don't know. And when he did do it, we lost our minds. We were Crip walking. We were doing like, we. I. They not like, like, you can't tell me I'm not from Compton, even though I've never been to Compton.

[B]

You just said Compton.

[A]

Compton. I'm from Compton.

[B]

Although that's, that's a little Jamaican. Compton.

[A]

Compton.

[B]

Yeah, that was.

[A]

They look like, like, they look like I'm literally from Compton. We were losing when Serena Williams showed up. We lost our minds. Yeah, we lost our minds.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because you know the history of that as well.

[B]

I know that Drake stalked her or something.

[A]

No. So Drake used to date Serena Williams and I think she dumped him. And then when she got married to Al, who is the co founder of Reddit.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That's her husband, a Caucasian gentleman.

[B]

Oh, I've seen pictures.

[A]

Yes. When she got married to him, Drake dissed him in a song and basically called him corny and dissed her and him. And so it was really, it was really part of the downfall of Drake because he kept coming for black American women. He just, he dissed a lot of black American heroes and black American women that we, that it's just like, why are you doing that? And so in the lyrics to Not Like Us, Kendrick says, you better not speak on Serena. Serena Williams is from Compton. Kendrick is from Compton. So Kendrick decided to include her. But also, I think Serena got fined at Wimbledon for doing the quit walk. So she celebrated and did the Crip walk. I don't know if it was Wimbledon or the US Open, but she celebrated it, did the Crip walk and got fined. So Kendrick was like, I'm going to have you quit walking on Drake's grave. And that's what that was. That was her being like, not only you dissed my man, you dissed me, you dissed Compton.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And now look at you. They don't like her. Like, we lost our mind.

[B]

Learning so much.

[A]

We lost mine.

[B]

I thought Drake was gonna be the secret guest because at the game. I know. Because of controversy.

[A]

Oh, you're like, haha, we're all friends all along.

[B]

I thought it might be like.

[A]

That would have been nice.

[B]

Kelly and Eminem pretending to hate each other.

[A]

Yes, that would have been nice.

[B]

Yeah. But I think these people really hate each other.

[A]

Well, the thing is, Drake has been dropping subliminals at Kendrick in so many songs for a long time now, so I think it's legit. And Kendrick is a Gemini and I am a Gemini, and So one thing about Geminis is we're petty. We remember stuff and we. We find it hard to let things go. We hold grudges.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

And so I get it.

[B]

I'm like, am.

[A]

I get. There's people now that literally, I still remember what they did to me. And I still. I still. I mean, I've forgiven them, but, yeah, I don't forget. And, like, that's a Gemini.

[B]

It's interesting. I've been noticing. Sorry, I'm just.

[A]

Yeah. Cut me off.

[B]

I'm not cutting you off, am I?

[A]

No.

[B]

Are you mad?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You mad, bro?

[A]

Are you mad, bro?

[B]

Well, I want to know why you love la, so let's put a pin in there.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But I also just wanted to join you and say, like, I'm so petty, all this SNL50 stuff, I, I. Because SNL never wanted me.

[A]

Why do they want you?

[B]

It's totally fine. Because there's so many comedians that they probably don't even know about. It's fine.

[A]

But wait, did you ever.

[B]

I'm talking about when I was young and, like, auditioning.

[A]

Did you audition for it?

[B]

Didn't get an audition.

[A]

You didn't actually get an audition?

[B]

Tried to.

[A]

How do you know they don't want you?

[B]

Didn't get an audition.

[A]

So that. That means they don't want you.

[B]

That's. Well, what are you, a psychiatrist? Because that's brilliant. Yeah, that's exactly right. But it was enough for me to be, like, when I see the SNL50, I'm like, really? Yeah. Like, I'll be a little petty about it.

[A]

So is there a part of you that thinks you can't host SNL one day?

[B]

I like where you're going because you're trying to remove a negative. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm open to that. I'm hopeful for that.

[A]

So then why would you be like.

[B]

No, it's more like, I wouldn't watch SNL50, like, when it aired, because I'm. I don't feel invited to the party.

[A]

But you haven't been. But that, that. It's okay.

[B]

What are you. What are you doing? This is the thing.

[A]

I do the same. Like, I do the same thing.

[B]

I love this.

[A]

No, I do the same thing, Pete. You're like me.

[B]

Well, it's petty. I want to be invited to the party.

[A]

But why would you be invited to the party?

[B]

No, no, I mean, metaphorically.

[A]

But why would you metaphorically be invited to the party?

[B]

Yeah, that's fair.

[A]

Like, why?

[B]

Right?

[A]

Well, I guess because you auditioned once. When you were younger. Huh? So you didn't. So what? So you didn't even audition. So if you auditioned and got rejected, I can understand. You didn't even aud.

[B]

I'm trying to show you my Gemini. Crazy.

[A]

You're crazy.

[B]

I'm telling you, you're wild.

[A]

I'm telling you, you're crazy.

[B]

That's why I was. Yes.

[A]

Handing your preference don't love yourself.

[B]

I have never been accused of that.

[A]

Because if you did.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You wouldn't even care. It wouldn't make you feel bad. You feel bad because there's a part of you that thinks that you're not good enough or they've rejected you when they didn't even reject you. No one's rejected you.

[B]

I'll do you one better. I could see a TV show starring two black lesbians and I'd be like, that should have been me. Like, I'll.

[A]

I have.

[B]

Like. I actually don't think it's a self. Like.

[A]

No. Do you know what it is?

[B]

Too much love.

[A]

No. You have confidence, but you have low self worth.

[B]

Oh, interesting. I would agree with that.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

I would agree with that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well done.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I'm shocked with all the work that I've done.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How if I lose something or don't get something or someone says no to me, how that will kind of get incorporated into my fundamental identity.

[A]

Which means that your self worth needs topping up. Because if you had self worth and they would be like, okay, I don't care.

[B]

And how did you top up your self worth? I'm fascinated.

[A]

So I always said, you'll see. It was always my thing. It'll be like, you'll see. You'll see. Yeah, you'll see. You'll see. And that was always the thing.

[B]

So in the UK, when you were young.

[A]

Not even young. I'm talking 10 years ago. So in the. I started 11. I started stand up when I was 20, 19. 20. I'm 35 now. So when I started stand up, I was at university. I was working at TGI Fridays, and I got fired from TGI Fridays and my friend took me to a comedy club and they wanted me to go all the time.

[B]

But how do you get fired from TJ Fridays?

[A]

An American boss. We got a new American boss and he was very much out with the old, in with the new. So he genuinely was like.

[B]

He wanted to turn over the staff.

[A]

I genuinely think that he was just like. Like, I'm the new American boss and I'm just Gonna do what we do. And so he just. I was late 10 minutes and he fired me. And I don't really. I'd been there over a year and he fired me on the spot.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah. And the crazy thing is, at the time when he fired me, I remember crying and thinking, I wish I could sing because Lauryn Hill got fired from Footlocker and became Lauryn Hill. And I wish I could sing or rap. And it's crazy because London Hughes got fired from Teacher Fridays and became London Hughes.

[B]

So let's go cheers it.

[A]

Let's go. So I haven't had a job ever.

[B]

Since in a referee jersey.

[A]

I know.

[B]

How funny.

[A]

I know. But yeah.

[B]

So I love that you were fired for being late and then went right to Lauren, who's famously so also being late.

[A]

Now look at this circle.

[B]

Yeah, there's a full circle there. But I. I'm on the edge of my seat about this. This topping up your. Yourself.

[A]

So what is it? Self worth. So basically, after, after the. After getting fired from TJ Fridays and doing stand up, I got a lot of rejection. There's a lot of systemic racism in British comedy. I got more no's and yeses. And it was always like, you're crazy. You can't. Like, you'll see. One day I'm gonna be a star. I had an Edinburgh comedy show called Superstar. It's just nobody's realized it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that show was in 2017 and no one came to see the show. Like I had 100 seater venue and. And nobody came.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

I think I sold out one day out of the month. Most of the time I was performing to like 12 people.

[B]

I feel like Edinburgh is just there. It's like Scotland is so famous in my mind for like old medieval torture.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And I feel like Edinburgh is like a remnant of that.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

It's like, come try and sell out.

[A]

Come try, come try. It'll be fun. It's hard. Yeah. It's not fun.

[B]

Nobody knows you.

[A]

Come try, come try. But I always would say to myself, they'll see, like, just what? It's not you, it's them.

[B]

Because this is selfish. I want to dial in what you're about to say to me because I believe you want it. I want it, but I want to get it just right. So I'm going to tell you, you're talking to another they'll see person. That's the confidence you were talking about.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like a very formative memory for me was I was at some Christmas dinner with my weird Family and went in the bathroom and I was, like, vibrating with. They'll see. Like, it was a real. I feel like a portal opened.

[A]

So where did it go?

[B]

No, no, no, I still have that.

[A]

No, because then why don't you just go, they'll see with snl?

[B]

Well, first of all, I already consider myself to be established. Like they seem.

[A]

You're not.

[B]

You don't think so?

[A]

No. Tell me what you mean you're not established.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

Are you a gajillionaire?

[B]

You have to have a gajillion now.

[A]

Yeah. Are you a gajillionaire?

[B]

Gajillionaire.

[A]

Are you rich? Rich?

[B]

Well, I think I see what you're saying. I have to be rich, rich, rich, rich. You want to be rich, rich?

[A]

Oh, I want to be like Oprah little.

[B]

I love where I am.

[A]

You don't know.

[B]

I do.

[A]

No, you don't.

[B]

What are you.

[A]

Not. Because you looked at the SNL thing and went, then you must not. Not. If you loved where you were, it wouldn't bother you.

[B]

I love what we're talking about. This is helpful. I would consider that to be a part of me and not a super evolved part of me that's, like, should have been me.

[A]

But why is it not you? Like, why can't SNL call you next week and get you to host?

[B]

Well, right now, I certainly Not a big enough comedian.

[A]

You just said you've reached the.

[B]

Yeah, but that doesn't mean I have. So when people say making it isn't real. I heard. I heard on another podcast, somebody was like, hey, when do you make it? How do you make it? And the guy was like, there is no making it. Well, it's funny, because I was just gonna disagree. There is a making it because I feel like I've made it. Here's how I've made it. I can tour around and people come out and see me, and I make my living that way, which means there's an aspect of what I do that no one can take away. And it's always there, and I'm very good at it, and it's incredible, fulfilling. Meanwhile, my life, my year is peppered in with these things that just come my way that make it very exciting and interesting.

[A]

You just explained the career of an influencer.

[B]

You mean an Instagram influencer, a TikTok influencer. You. But I think with one major difference. I'm very good at what I do. So are they at stand up?

[A]

No, influencing.

[B]

Well, I'm talking about touring and doing stand up. That is a very fulfilling.

[A]

There are influences on TikTok that tour and do stand up that aren't.

[B]

They don't and they don't do well and that must not be be very fulfilled.

[A]

No, they do very well.

[B]

No, they do well with sales but I don't think they do a very good show and that must not be very fulfilling.

[A]

No, they're fulfilled.

[B]

I disagree.

[A]

They are fulfilled because they don't know they're bad.

[B]

Disagree. I don't know that you're bad.

[A]

No, you don't.

[B]

You know you're bad.

[A]

No, you don't.

[B]

You do 20 minutes of stand up, then you do a meet and greet.

[A]

These influences.

[B]

This episode is brought to us by our friends at Ritual Multivitamins. I haven't gone a day without taking and this is real. This always sounds fake when you listen to a podcast ad, but this is 100% real. Ritual is my ritual. I take their men's multivitamin every morning along with their synbiotic plus which is their gut health probiotic, prebiotic, postbiotic, every single day. And as a mostly vegan person, I have a lot of gaps in my diet and when I go to the doctor, the before and after, I'm just speaking anecdotally, I used to have all these gaps, bam covered because that's what it's for. It's designed with scientific backed processes. That sounds fancy, right? To fill those gaps in your diet. And according to the cdc, men over emphasize the importance of exercise and under emphasize the importance of nutrition. They don't value it. So you got to get ritual in your life to fill those gaps. I love it. I take it every day. Makes me feel ready to start my day. And I love knowing that I'm also taking care of my gut health, which is like a second brain, basically 10 key nutrients and two delayed release capsules per day designed to dissolve later in the small intestine, which is so essential. If I am fasting, which I do twice a week, I fast. It breaks down in the small intestine and won't upset your stomach. And it's also the optimal place to absorb nutrients. So many people take multivitamins and you're like, oh, you just pee it out. Ritual is different because of this delayed release. It's also gentle on an empty stomach. So essential for men is a quality multivitamin from a quality from a company you can actually trust. You can get 25 off your first month for a limited [e-mail] weird. That's ritual.com weird for 25 off your first month. We are also brought to us by our friends at Element. For over almost two years now, Element has been replacing my morning cup of coffee. And what is it? It's optimum hydration with no bs. It tastes fantastic. Watermelon salt in a big glass of water makes me drink more water, but also optimizes that water for healthy hydration. I know there are a lot of things out there that say, hey, this will help your water be more watery and get more into your system.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they're filled with like 30 grams of sugar. You might as well drink like a giant Mountain Dew. It's ridiculous. This element is here sweetened with stevia. So it's got like five calories maybe. And it's sodium and it's potassium and it's magnesium. And you can feel it. It gives you this boost. It ignites my brain, gets me ready to start the day. Flooding every cell with the optimum ratios of sodium, potassium, magnesium to make you feel fantastic and jumpstart your day and jump start your hydration. Avoiding brain fog, fatigue, cramps, muscle tension, all that sort of stuff. That water getting into you takes care of. It is such a game changer. They have cans, 16 ounce cans of sparkling electrolyte water, which is incredible. They have that black cherry which I absolutely love. You can only get in the can form. Definitely try that. Or get the packets, which is what I travel with. I always have them in my pockets. And if you fast, it's a great way to make fasting a lot easier. Easier. If Element doesn't exceed your expectations, they have a no questions asked refund policy. You don't even have to send it back. And if you use our promo code, you'll get a free sample pack that's a 14 value. And try all the flavors. Go to DrinkLMNT.com weird. That's DrinkLMNT.com weird. Back to the show.

[A]

This is the thing. So I used to be like you. I used to be like.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

I used to be like you?

[B]

This is fun.

[A]

I've since evolved recently. That's why it's a fun conversation for me.

[B]

Tell me.

[A]

So the self worth thing that, that you have, you were me a year ago. So I didn't realize that I needed self worth. I didn't realize I didn't have self worth. And the reason I, I realized it on a book tour. So I was promoting my book at the LA Times Book Festival and I was on a panel with two other women, one on the left of me. Was an influencer who had a book like she was a TikTok influencer called Tinks and her book was a bestseller. The one on the right of me was also had a best selling book. My book wasn't best selling, but I'm a comedian and I'm talented. These two people next to me are not, are not in the arts. They're not talented. That's what I thought. And so I was like, well, they're bestsellers because they're viral or whatever on Tick Tock. But I, I have talent. This is, this is. I, what I have is real. What they have, anyone could get. You know, that's how I saw it. And so we're talking on the panel, they were both nice women and one of the girls was talking about her book called Worthy and she was talking about self worth and she was saying she had confidence, but she didn't realize that without self worth, you're just in a cycle of shame because your confidence says. Your confidence says, I should be here. I am good enough to be here. But because you don't have self worth, you go, wait, this person doesn't think I'm good enough to be here. Oh, why don't they think I'm good enough to be here? I'll show them I should be here. But if you had self worth, you go, I should be here. Oh, this person doesn't think they're. I'm good enough to be here.

[B]

Okay, I can see that.

[A]

I'll still be here.

[B]

Yeah. And so that's certainly part of the dirty factor that keeps me running.

[A]

And I would think that, like, it doesn't matter. These influencers, they're not talented. I'm talented and I'll still be here. But influencers, in their minds, they're like, well, I'm doing the Lord's work because I am telling people about self confidence and worthiness and all these things. And they genuinely believe, believe in what they're doing in the same way I believe in what I'm doing. I'm looking down my nose at them and they're looking down their nose at me. And I mean, we can't compare the two. There's talent and then there's being able to reach people. But they're both important and I didn't used to think they, they were.

[B]

So you've upgraded your understanding of how popular you want to be and how. Okay. And how it's okay to be super popular.

[A]

Yeah. It's also okay to accept that, that you know, you as a talented person. You know, there's a whole starving artist thing and I think we hold on to that. Like, oh yeah, I actually, yeah, I'm not a millionaire and make all this money, but like I'm like an artist. I'm the, I'm the real deal. And there's no, you don't get any presence for that. You don't get any presence for being the real deal. You know, like you, like you said, like, oh, we do, I tour and like I'm a comedian. And I was like, but what you do, influencers do that aren't funny. But they have a of lot a big following. They do the same thing you do. And I think the difference between you and them is you have the ability to be great because of your talent and your work ethic. Whereas influencers and people like that, they have the work ethic, clearly they don't have the talent. People like you have both. So right now you're at this level, you're at the same level as an influencer. But you could push yourself and be great if you had self worth.

[B]

And then. Okay, I, I, by the way, I'm, I'm hearing all of this and I'm enjoying it. I, there's counterpoints to be made, but yeah, make them. No, no, no way more interested in. You seem to have, what did you do to massage your self worth?

[A]

It was, I had to change my self concept.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I saw, I got bullied a lot in school and so.

[B]

Because your name is London and you live in London.

[A]

No, because I used to be ugly and I'm gorgeous now.

[B]

Stop it.

[A]

I grew into this phase.

[B]

Stop it.

[A]

I grew into this phase. I know I had eczema like on my face and the kids would call me KFC because crispy chicken. It looked like crispy chicken.

[B]

Because you're younger than I am and no, Kentucky became crispy.

[A]

Well, Kentucky Fried Chicken is crispy.

[B]

Oh, I see.

[A]

And, and brown.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And my skin was crispy and brown.

[B]

There's no way for me to. Yes, I'm this.

[A]

So they would call me crispy chicken.

[B]

And I just, I hate it. I hate every second of this. Wait, consistently.

[A]

Yeah. Girls are mean. I went to all girls school and they were like, I, I remember it being like, I'm so ugly. That's why I'm getting bullied. Maybe I was gorgeous and I was getting bullied because they were jealous, but I got bullied a lot. So my self concept was I am the victim. So when things were happening to me, yes, I believed in what the people thought of me so I would believe I'm not good enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not funny enough. Oh, I didn't get this spot. It's because I'm not this. It's because I'm not that. And so I took that into my career. So when I didn't get certain things, it would be like, oh, it's because of this. It's because of that.

[B]

That's very apropos of me and snl. Snl. The feeling around it is I'm in junior high and there's the cool kids and then there's me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They called me Biter Shaft because I bite shafts of dicks, I guess.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

And big breasts.

[A]

People are weird. So weird.

[B]

Where do you even get Biter Shaft? Yeah, it's, it's. I wish I had a punchline one where I could. Like. KFC is. I hate it. Yeah, it's very mean. But Biter Shaft, I have to say it was called Biter Shaft and then explain it.

[A]

Explain it because literally, why?

[B]

No one knows. I mean, I knew.

[A]

Did they explain it to you when they said it to you?

[B]

Well, we had just learned that the shaft of the penis is called the shaft and the biter. And I was like, I guess I can't.

[A]

You bite your penis. Wow. I guess your penis or other people's.

[B]

Penises, they never went into it.

[A]

Okay. They weren't specific.

[B]

Yeah, okay. They would. Yeah. But so I had that. I'm just.

[A]

So your self concept ishaft, but also.

[B]

What I'm hearing, because this is brilliant. Victim. Yeah, victim. I'll show you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Meanwhile, my mother is puffing me up and making me believe you're amazing. Little boy.

[A]

You're the funniest, sweetest, charming, but you're like both flavors. Buy a shaft. But you didn't listen to your mother because if you listen to your mother, you wouldn't have had the victim. People that know, like, if your mom was like, you're amazing. You're amazing. You're amazing.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And someone said to you, bite a shaft. You're like, whatever.

[B]

Well, if you want to get real weird with it, I got like, you're amazing when you are doing what I want you to do. Yeah. Holding the family together.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Sort of stuff. So it wasn't. It wasn't dyed in the wool. Who I am is. Okay. It's like this character I can play that's pretty amazing.

[A]

So Pete, without comedy is what, less than?

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I'm. I'm with you. When we talk about core negative beliefs, I am worthless is certainly one of them.

[A]

Yeah. And so you started doing this to.

[B]

Yeah. Tap dance and show everybody actually. Yeah, yeah. Do you relate to this? So you're being. I'm saying you're being KFC'd and I'll show you.

[A]

I'm now a famous stand up comedian in Britain.

[B]

And you develop.

[A]

I'm on TV in the uk.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Your children, like, I have the girls that bullied me in school. Their children grew up watching me on television.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So literally, the revenge that. The Gemini thing I was telling you about, that is like the sweetest revenge. I remember being bullied and being like, one day you're gonna turn on the TV and you're gonna see my face and they'd laugh at me and I'd be like, okay, when you say that. Yes, yes. And it happened.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it happened. So like that. But that came from a victim mentality. If I weren't bullied, I probably wouldn't have been a stand up.

[B]

No, I understand.

[A]

So then I was trying to bring that into my adult life. Yes, but change your self concept to actually, I'm not a victim. They were. You should feel sorry for them. They bullied you. Imagine waking up every day and feeling so angry about life that you're picking on a stranger and making them feel bad. I never pick on anybody. I never make anybody feel bad, actually.

[B]

What?

[A]

Wait, they're the victims. Feel sorry for them. Actually, I'm actually blessed. I get to make my living off of being funny. Wait, people pay me to be funny. I'm a. I get paid to be funny. I'm amazing. Wait, hold on. I'm a genius. Having that self belief and retraining. Actually, people love me. I make people laugh. I've turned my trauma into laughter and I make the world a better. Wait, I'm amazing. If we all fought like that, then we wouldn't be falling victim to the. Oh, they didn't pick me. SNL would be like, oh, SNL haven't reached out to me yet. Oh, they will because I'm amazing.

[B]

I like that. I love that. How do you. How did you get. So I'm with you. You're reframing it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How did you get that to soak in? Because we can tell ourselves something.

[A]

It is hard, but then the world starts to reflect it. So if you believe it long enough, then you'll see it. So I was looking for. They don't like me. They were. If you look for it, you'll find it. If you look for reasons why SNL don't think you're a good comedian. You will find them because you're looking for them. But if you.

[B]

Well, it was funny when you were like, they didn't invite me. And it's like, how would they invite.

[A]

How would they invite? Like, they don't even.

[B]

What are you talking about?

[A]

Yeah, like you're being offended. You do. Like you're sitting here upset with them.

[B]

But I'm also telling you that if they did, it would be inappropriate and weird because I'm not even at the. That lamp.

[A]

But then. Exactly. So then make it make sense. They didn't invite you, but if they did, you're not famous enough.

[B]

Right, Right. Right.

[A]

So basically, you're the victim in every version of this story. Literally, I'm not famous enough. But they didn't invite me. But even if I would. But I'm not. If they did invite me, I'm still not famous. Like, can you see what you're doing?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So your self concept is flawed and.

[B]

It'S very familiar to that junior high when I was being bullied. Energy, meaning it's the bro. It's the poison food that's very comfortable.

[A]

To me to eat. Yes. And some people love that. They. Because if your whole life you've seen the world this way, it would be hard for you to retrain your brain to think otherwise because you're kind of comfortable in that.

[B]

And it also made me feel safe.

[A]

Yeah. It makes you feel safe.

[B]

Who I am in the world, even if it is a victim or whatever.

[A]

It might be, at least you're a victim. You're something.

[B]

I know what I am.

[A]

Yeah. Whereas if you then can denounce victimhood, you have to then turn the lens back on you. And you have to realize that you're the reason why some of these things aren't happening. Because your beliefs are telling you, oh, SNL won't pick me because I'm not good enough.

[B]

Right.

[A]

When that's not true.

[B]

Right. Right.

[A]

Nowhere near true.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You have to retrain your brain to be like, oh, I, of course I'm good enough. And they will pick me. And then they will.

[B]

It's interesting. I wonder. When you were talking about your heritage, I realized in my therapy, I just. Just started thinking about my. My lineage and all this sort of. And it's been giving me.

[A]

Do you know yours?

[B]

Not really.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And it's been giving me comfort even to imagine it, just to kind of think about past my father's Father. That's how far I could go back. And then it's been giving me. I. I know it sounds like I'm changing the subject. I promise I'm not. It's like I've been getting a lot of comfort in just being like I. I belong to a line of people and they've all been through every feeling, every experience that I'm having, having unworthiness, bullying, feeling weird about my parents. They've all felt that way. And there's a comfort in just going like I belong to a thing and I don't have to take it that seriously. And I wonder if your rich understanding, it seems, of your lineage and your family helps you with this self worth.

[A]

It didn't because I didn't know it. You know, I had to research all of this. I had to realize where I come from. But it does make me realize that, yeah, my ancestors had it a lot worse than me. I am literally what is it my ancestors dream.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm looking at my life, like in times when I might feel a.

[B]

Bit peaty, I'm gonna say, wait, I'm the word.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For it. Now I feel Pete, look.

[A]

I might be feeling a bit Pete.

[B]

I love switching the coat up.

[A]

I didn't get the audition, so I'm feeling kind of Pete. And in. I didn't get the part. I'm feeling kind of peat. And in that moment of peakness, I.

[B]

Have to, oh, I didn't know what I was coming to this morning. And I'm loving it because I really feel seen. So please keep going.

[A]

In that moment of peakness, I have to remind myself that my ancestors really did so much for me to get to this level, for me to have the luxury of feeling peak beat. It's a luxury for me to sit here and go, I didn't get the audition. That is a luxury.

[B]

It is.

[A]

My ancestors did not care about auditions.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They had other things they had to deal with.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

So at times like that, it helps me myself worth to remind myself that actually I'm doing great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm doing beyond great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm like, I'm. I'm literally a dream.

[B]

Yes. It's funny saying I'm not a big weed guy. One of the things that I do like about weed, when I use it, I sound like a narc. But when I use it, I can sometimes clear it out and go like, oh my God. And see my life.

[A]

You should. Yeah.

[B]

That's one of the things I like about it.

[A]

I feel like When I'm okay. You know when you have one of those days and you're like, wow, I get to be me.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I think that they are really important.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And I think LA especially has those wow, I get to be me moments. A lot like your life is. I have seen my friends go from zero to hero. I have a friend. Friend that lives in a car. In her car. And I have a friend that just bought a house for six mil. And they have the same job. They're both actors, you know, and it's just like the friend.

[B]

Sometimes that's just Tiffany Haddish. Sometimes we can just push those stories together.

[A]

You can't. Oh, bless her. Tiffany's just in her car.

[B]

Yeah, she lived in her car. Literally several $6 million.

[A]

Right. And so, like, when I look at things like that, I go, wow.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I love this. This is like a blood transfusion for me because I can step into the energy that you're. That you're exhibiting here. But lately I have been having moments where I'm like, oh, my God, I can't believe I get to be me. This weekend, in fact.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So I'm just with you.

[A]

And this is why it's important to hold space for that and then not be mad at yourself for thinking I'm the victim. Because this is what you. We're just. We're just children. We're all just children in adult bodies. Yeah. So when you sit and go, I get to be me. Have that feeling whenever you feel p and you're feeling like, oh, God, I'm so Pete right now. You have to then tap into. But I get to be Pete. Yeah, Pete's amazing.

[B]

Grown up.

[A]

Pete, grown up.

[B]

It's funny because that's what so much of my therapy is, is going, please just look at reality.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just talking to my inner child.

[A]

Don't look at reality. I do the same. I do the same.

[B]

That's the thing I say to myself the most, is I go, we don't live there anymore. No, but it's really, really. It can be tricky. That's why I'm talking, asking you and still if you have anything else about getting it to sink in, is it just by repetition?

[A]

It's just I live in my. My mind. So, like, I would be driving to auditions in London, daydreaming about the life I have now. And, like, I'd have no money in my bank account. Know that I have no money in my bank account. Daydreaming of the time when I have a Netflix special. Yeah. And I'm in Living in America and what do you.

[B]

There's a couple different ways to frame that. We could go, we say manifesting and like the secret over here. And then on the other side you could just say psychologically, like sort of keeping it more in the gray matter of your mind. You hit what you aim for and like you're saying you're going to see.

[A]

What you're going to. So. Yeah. That your world will start to reflect it.

[B]

Yeah. I'm wondering.

[A]

And that's what happened. So.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

After. I have a book and it's not a bestseller yet, but it will be. And it's called Live my best life. Han. Following your dreams. It's no joke. And it's. It was Barnes and Nobles comedy book of the year in 2023. And that book, wasn't that the year.

[B]

That Barnes and Nobles went out of business?

[A]

I'm just kidding. I will slap you. I'm just kidding. Honestly, stop kidding. It did so well.

[B]

That was the last thing they did before they showed.

[A]

It was the last thing they did before everything fell apart. It got burnt down in the la. Far buyers.

[B]

Yeah. It's a very expensive bathroom business.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Bathroom Starbucks business. I'm J.K. by the way. Love a B N. I have to charge my tests.

[A]

Bed barns and beyond.

[B]

Bed bums.

[A]

Bed Barns and beyond.

[B]

Oh, Bed barns and beyond.

[A]

Yeah. That's the new Barnes and Noble bath business.

[B]

I like that very much.

[A]

What was I saying?

[B]

You were saying you have a bestseller.

[A]

Okay. I have. I have.

[B]

Follow your dreams, hun.

[A]

And in that, that book is.

[B]

In that. What is it called?

[A]

Living my best life, hun is the main title subtitle. Following your dreams is no joke. And it's the story of how I became me.

[B]

Yeah, but.

[A]

And it has. It started with the bully and everything. And in that book.

[B]

I can't believe kfc. I hate it. You should. If you could go back, you just go extra crispy.

[A]

Literally. I wish I did. I just cried. I had no. I hated confrontation.

[B]

Don't let me stop you in that.

[A]

In that. I remember parts of the book where I was living the time and at the time of where peakness. I'm feeling down.

[B]

I hate that I'm that going though. I need it. It's my medicine.

[A]

I would go, this will be a great chapter for my autobiography one day.

[B]

I just want you to know I'm so like you. I have the low self worth.

[A]

But then I got a book and it literally is like if if these things didn't happen to me.

[B]

Dude, I know. I wrote a book too, and it's all about my divorce, and it's all reframing and playing.

[A]

No. So thing you know, you have the answers to all of this.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So you know that there's a time in your life where you're feeling down, but even when you were feeling down, you went, I. This will be a great chapter for my. My book one day.

[B]

And I'm with you as a child. I was like, this will be on my tv. No, I know. I want you to know that we're.

[A]

Doing it as an adult.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And so this is what you do. You show up and you go, this is terrible right now, but this too shall pass. And I'll probably make money off this because I told jokes for a living.

[B]

Okay. So I have a new joke about my divorce, and I go, I was divor. And I go, don't feel bad for me. I made an HBO show about it.

[A]

Exactly right.

[B]

And that seems like a dumb thing to say. If you don't do it, the joke doesn't work because they do feel bad for you.

[A]

Yeah, well, To Catch a Dick is literally my Netflix special.

[B]

I didn't know what the. It was just an asterisk, so I didn't know. A d *.ck I thought it was maybe a duck.

[A]

Maybe a duck. Maybe a duck.

[B]

Maybe a deck. I thought maybe you were a poker player.

[A]

To catch a deck might be the second one.

[B]

Ooh, like a. Like a deck on your yacht.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're gonna have a yacht, aren't you?

[A]

I am. At least you know this.

[B]

I do know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now we know.

[A]

Now we know.

[B]

It's out there.

[A]

Now it's out there. I'm gonna have a yacht.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And there are times where I feel Pete and I think, oh, like, right. Like currently this month, after the LA fires. Because everyone said 20, 25. Like, okay. When I moved to LA, I thought I was cursed because I moved here two weeks before a global pandemic. Then after the pandemic, we all know there was the writer's strike and actors strike, and then there was the LA fires. And so, like, there's been something unprecedented and bad every year of me living in America.

[B]

It is you, isn't it?

[A]

And I was like, is it me? Because I literally was like, wait, what is happening?

[B]

But how many millions of people came the year you came?

[A]

Nah, it was just me.

[B]

Maybe not millions, but I just don't.

[A]

I just remember just feeling sorry for Myself, because I was like, if I had moved to America maybe five years earlier, I probably would be more.

[B]

And I'm not trying to be funny, but the KFC programming made you narrativize it.

[A]

Oh, my God. And then I had to re. Like, basically change that, rewire that in my brain to go in a global pandemic. I released Netflix, my first Netflix comedy special, despite the fact that the world was on the brink of disaster. I am so funny. I me that Netflix said, listen, Listen. Comedy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is going on.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I did my Netflix special. People were wearing masks. We were outside at Universal Studios. Everybody had masks on, and it was 2020, October 2020. I did my special. So despite the fact that America was falling apart, Netflix thought I was that good of a comedian that I still deserve a special in the middle of a global pandemic. That is a positive, but I could only see it as a negative because I'm living through victim mental. Like, oh, people get to do their Netflix specials in front of, like, people that are laughing.

[B]

What I'm listening to. I was going like, what am I listening to? And I was like, someone who did a lot of important work to reframe things.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because if you're gonna choose between two, why not pick the one that serves you?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And you're absolutely right.

[A]

It's easier to go, I'm a victim. How? Like, poor me. Feel sorry for me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But instead, if I rephrase it, as I'm so good at my job that I thrived in a global pandemic, people couldn't even leave their houses. I was still making money.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I got paid a ton of money for my Netflix special.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I got that special in a global pandemic. So if this is what I can do when America is broken.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Imagine what I can do when America is fried. Thriving.

[B]

Wow. Thriving.

[A]

Thriving.

[B]

Thriving.

[A]

Thriving.

[B]

Thriving, thriving. Your dad would be proud. We'll be right back. Just kidding. We don't take breaks.

[A]

I was like, really? Where are we going? We'll be right back.

[B]

I'm loving all of this. I'm really. It's. It's really nice and unexpected. Honestly, I. I would say in my. If you were breaking me down in a script, you would say, well, pizza. Confident, successful person.

[A]

Insecure man.

[B]

Yeah. But I wouldn't include that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it's. It's. It's like opening a window. It's a little uncomfortable.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it's like opening a window and a real surprise to me to go like, oh, there is Like a self worth thing going on here. And if you stopped me on the street and said, do you have self worth?

[A]

I would say yes.

[B]

I would say absolutely.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I don't know how much of my this is very vulnerable. I don't know how much of my personality is conditioned to appear a certain way as like a social coping strategy.

[A]

Of course. Pretty much all of it. I would say most stand up comedians we've morphed into a version of ourselves. Like Beyonce has Sasha Fierce. So Beyonce herself is really shy.

[B]

Yeah. But Chris Gaines.

[A]

Who's Chris Gaines?

[B]

Garth Brooks.

[A]

Oh, that was.

[B]

That was pure comedy. That was pure comedy.

[A]

No one knows Chris Gaines.

[B]

Chris Gaines is Garth Brooks. Netflix password, by the way.

[A]

Really?

[B]

You can add your special to his queue.

[A]

I will do. Let's just do that.

[B]

Garthbrooks.com I'm pretty sure I will do that.

[A]

So basically Beyonce.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And you have Pete.

[B]

Yeah, that's right. And I told you that I did feel loved by my family, but when I was a certain way.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I actually saw the pitfalls of not conforming to what was expected and how you could be discarded.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I love my brother very much, but he got more of a side eye really. And I was like streaks on the china. Never mattered before.

[A]

Love me, love me, love me.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Love me, love me. Have you seen Better Man?

[B]

Better Man? Yeah, the Pearl Jam documentary.

[A]

No, the Robbie Williams.

[B]

We don't watch Robbie Williams here. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. I hear your voice. But we don't even know who Robbie Williams is. Okay, we have Robin Williams.

[A]

No.

[B]

Rob B. Yeah, no, sure. I watch Rob you Better Man. I'll love it.

[A]

It's your film.

[B]

I, by the way, 100 J.K. robbie. He's. He's. He's not watching. But maybe he loves London Hughes. I'm gonna write it down. Is it already out?

[A]

Yeah, it's in cinemas. But I think it might become leaving soon because it flopped in America majorly and it shouldn't have.

[B]

I understand.

[A]

Great film. And it's every. It's you.

[B]

Oh my God, I'm gonna weep.

[A]

So it's the one about the monkey.

[B]

I know it's about a monkey because this is us. This is everyone in America watching, watching that document, that trailer. Who the is right? It's a monkey.

[A]

100.

[B]

Yeah. We hated it.

[A]

It's so good.

[B]

I believe it.

[A]

Every single comedian should watch it. Everything.

[B]

And I want to read your book. Would your book.

[A]

Yes. Oh my God, yes.

[B]

I feel like I'm okay. Look I'm going to apply what we're talking about here. I get to. Not only do I get to meet you and enjoy your special very much. And maybe read your book on the way home. Okay. Audiobook.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

You ready?

[A]

Oh, you'll love it. I'm very funny.

[B]

I believe it.

[A]

Yeah, it's. The audiobook is.

[B]

But I get to fucking text you first of all. Come on.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I'm cool enough that I could just be like, give me your number. Do my podcast.

[A]

And I came. Did you pay for my Uber?

[B]

No, I'll pay for the one home. Where are you going?

[A]

I'm gonna put my address on your podcast. Yeah. Look at that. You summons me here.

[B]

No, you're right. And this isn't arrogance. I feel like again I mentioned I love being Lithuanian, but there can be a dourness to my people. There can be kind of like. I. I can't speak for Lithuania.

[A]

Okay. I was gonna say. I thought you were about to. That's not.

[B]

I will.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

But no, my Lithuanian relatives there we can be a little bit.

[A]

But that.

[B]

My dad used to say if they smiled, their face would.

[A]

But that's Europe. Europeans in general. We are.

[B]

There's just too much happening in our history.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's true.

[A]

We're just miserable.

[B]

I just. I'm really loving this. This is like some good stuff. So your book as well. Your book which is called. Get it with it.

[A]

It's called Living my best Life. It's unavailable on Amazon, Barnes and. No, honestly, Amazon.

[B]

I love it. Your dad would be amazing.

[A]

It's available on Amazon, bars and over everywhere. That book. Right. I wrote the book in two months. I decided to like.

[B]

Wrote it in two months.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Pass.

[A]

And I did. Just kidding. How long take you to write yours?

[B]

The normal amount.

[A]

Which is what?

[B]

I think about a year.

[A]

Really? Yeah. Him. They not like us. You.

[B]

You Drake now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To me. You Drake now you Drake. That's my drink. Now you Drake now you Drake now. That's how you say you have beef with somebody. You Drake now you Drake now.

[A]

You Drake now. Pete. You Drake now.

[B]

You wrote in two months because you were deeply inspired and worked on it every single day.

[A]

Yeah. And I decided I like to set myself goals. And my. My sister's birthday is February 28th and I started writing in January. Birthday.

[B]

Cute.

[A]

Love that. I started writing it January 1st and I gave myself to my sister's birthday to complete it.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And so I sat history month too.

[B]

You had all that educated.

[A]

All that educating. And honestly, the book fell out of me, because I had been writing it mentally my whole career and whole life. So I literally knew where everything was going.

[B]

Can I. I have to do it. I have to tell you this because I know it's gonna make you think of one. I did this club in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. It was called Penguins. It was underneath a Mexican restaurant called Gringo, which is a derogatory term for white folks.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. But it's the whitest restaurant ever. They named it. They don't even know they're calling it. Essentially, Cracker Barrel has the same problem.

[A]

Oh, yes. I heard this. Should I go to one? No.

[B]

Cracker Barrel.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, if you want to buy a knickknack and then get some corn.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

A knickknack is what you would call a chachki. No, these are all American.

[A]

Jesus. Oh, a little keyring. A little.

[B]

A little nothing. Souvenir.

[A]

Little bobblehead.

[B]

Something you buy.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But, like, folky. It's gonna be like a bear and you put a bottle of wine in his arms.

[A]

I actually want that.

[B]

You do want it.

[A]

I'm gonna get.

[B]

It's the gift you get. And for a Yankee swap, whereas you call it a Yank swap.

[A]

What?

[B]

You know. You ever do a Yankee swap?

[A]

No. I don't even say the word. Isn't it offensive?

[B]

Not to us. We love it. The Y word. Yeah, we love it.

[A]

It. Okay.

[B]

We can say it to each other. You can't.

[A]

Yeah. I can't call you Y words.

[B]

You sure can.

[A]

I'm not going to call you that.

[B]

A Yank.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, we are the Yankees. Look, it can't be that offensive. If there's a bas.

[A]

Offensive in my accent. I don't even say the NW.

[B]

Well, I'm with you on that one.

[A]

I mean, I. I say it.

[B]

We laugh because I called someone homie and you were like. Don't you feel like you're appropriating? Do you remember that?

[A]

This.

[B]

I work with Homeboy Industries, and everyone there calls everybody homey. And I feel like I've. I've earned it.

[A]

Yes. And I was like, wow, you. Basically, it's like having a black card. I guess you.

[B]

You could say homie if that would be. Look, everyone should donate to Homeboy Industries, and there should be a tier.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That if you donate enough, you can say homie. You can say homie.

[A]

White. Guilt and shame.

[B]

I never. I like it.

[A]

How old are you?

[B]

45.

[A]

So you're 10 years older than me. So did you say homies back in the day?

[B]

Like, when you know, when it was like, beastie bo. No, no, I wouldn't have said it.

[A]

But you say it now.

[B]

But it's the same trajectory as brother, I'll call someone brother.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Which also gets tricky when it's a black person.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I like it more.

[A]

Right. Well, I find it weird when black people call white people N words. Like, as in, like just to reference it to a person.

[B]

That is one of my.

[A]

Let's talk about the N word.

[B]

No, no, I love it. I'm fine. But if. If a black person refers to me as that tall N word or something, I'm all about it.

[A]

I find it so interesting.

[B]

And I've said this a million times. A black southern woman, waitress calling me baby. Or really, any black woman, really.

[A]

Hey, baby, did it work with me?

[B]

You've had a baby?

[A]

Baby. Her baby. I mean, you would say babes. All right, Babes.

[B]

I like babes. From a Brit. Yeah, from a bread. I want babes.

[A]

Babes.

[B]

About five or six years ago, I realized I was very careful and deliberate about what I would eat and what I would drink. But I was very careless about what I would put on my body. In my body, careful on my body, didn't really care. But obviously what you put on your body ends up in your body. And so many health and beauty products are filled with chemicals and toxicity levels that were never intended for human consumption. You know this, you know you shouldn't be shaving with a pressurized blue goo in a can. You get a 7 11. Enter living libations, a wonderful thing to get for yourself. Also an incredible gift idea and a great way to support the show. Because Living Libations has lots of stuff, small stuff, big stuff, you can go on, support the show, get yourself a little gum care, gum treatment for your gums, like your teeth. Or do what we did, which is a complete medicine and beauty cabinet overhaul and replace the random chemical nightmares with things made that are high end and very, very effective and made with ingredients that you can pronounce, that are easy to pronounce and understand. Oils and extracts. But they also work like their exfoliating scrub is the most badass exfoliating scrub I've ever used in my life. Pro tip. Use an exfoliant before you shave everybody and you will feel so much better. And I use their best shave ever. Their Zen shave. Excuse me, me, it's called Zen shave shaving cream. I also use their best skin ever moisturizer. By the way, one point of fact here, I bought their best skin ever Moisturizer maybe two years ago, still using the same bottle. It lasts and lasts and lasts. And it's in beautiful frosted glass with a wood top. That's what makes it such a great gift. So if you want to treat your body properly and give it healthy, natural alternatives to random chemical nightmares, Living Libations has a premium, natural and wonderful product to replace those things. And you can do it small, one at a time or all at once, like we did. 15% off by going to livinglibations.com weird. That's livinglibations.com weird. We're also brought to us by our friends at Magic Mind. Of course my desk is covered. Look at all these. It's covered in empty. Well, that's some dog hair. Empty Magic Mind bottles and dog hair. Because that's my life. Hanging out with my big boy beau and drinking Magic Mind. I'm here at my desk whenever I want to get dialed in on command. Magic Mind is my secret weapon. It's Matcha. So it's got about as much caffeine as half a cup of coffee. But it's from Green tea from Matcha. It's got adaptogens, which help you calm down and settle in to what you're to trying, trying to do. And it's got nootropics, which help your brain function, concentrate, remember, and create. So it's like Creator Aid. Athletes have Gatorade. Now we have Magic Mind. It's Creator Aid. I love this product so, so much. People associate me with it. Now sometimes people come up and I'm like, oh, they must be a comedy fan. They just ask me, is Magic Mind the real deal? And I always tell them, absolutely. We didn't just start doing ads for this company. I found them. I found James Bashar, their CEO. I started Magic Mind. Then we started doing ads just the way we do all our pizza pics. I'm a fan first, and I'm letting you know if you want to try it. Fight off procrastination, brain fog, fatigue, and even some ADD symptoms. It is fantastic. It is not jittery. It is not jolty. It is dialed in. And it also elevates your mood, which is so important. I think our power just went out. Oh, well, good thing I'm recording this on a laptop because I think our power just went out. All right, go to MagicMind Co weird and use my discount code at checkout Weird for a limited 20 off your first order. That's MagicMind Co weird. And use promo code weird for 20% off. Back to the show. All right, here's the story. I do. I do this weekend at Penguins. And this is just to load you into your.

[A]

Load me?

[B]

I'm sure you're going to have one. I eat the whole weekend. Of course I do.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's just. It's just rough. It's the early years of standup. I used to be so anxious. I would wake up at 7:00am worried at 7:00pm oh, no. I'm so. I. I got. I can't be late to the show. So I get to the show. I'm. I'm opening for Willie Tyler and Lester.

[A]

Do you. Yes.

[B]

And eating. And then at the end of the weekend, it wasn't even that mean, but the owner was there and I go up to him and I'm like, I'd love to come back. So that's standup 101. You eat for the weekend and then beg to come back. Something you couldn't pay me to do. Now I'm just saying. I was begging to come back, and the guy is eating and he doesn't even look at me. And he says something dismissive. It's like, you know, call us in a year or something. Whatever. I'm driving home and this is long ago enough that I'm listening to the radio and that. That song someday. Yeah, Things are good.

[A]

Oh, my God. Did you cry?

[B]

I would have bawling, but London, more important, singing along and fully believing.

[A]

Believing it.

[B]

Fully believing. I had a real time. Right. I knew you would, like, tell me what you got. What does that make you think of? I knew it. It's a London news.

[A]

I have so many.

[B]

I had a London.

[A]

Oh, you had a London. That. That is definitely a London.

[B]

That's a London.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And I feel like that was another portal moment. I had the Christmas Eve in the bathroom where I really feel like I was reshaping my future. And in that car, I feel like I was reshaping my future 100%. Yeah.

[A]

How many?

[B]

I mean, I have so many.

[A]

Yeah, the main one for me. Same thing. Same thing happened. I did a gig in. Where was it? Because I live in America now, my mind blanks on, like, places in the uk.

[B]

Slough.

[A]

It was. I can't even remember the place, but it was very. No, it was very racist. Wherever I went, it was very racist. And I didn't know it was race. I like Britain's. You know, like, in America, there's certain places that, you know are racist. It's like, this place is racist. I don't Go there where they have guns. They could shoot you, they could kill you. The racism is up front. Britain's racism is behind closed doors.

[B]

Like the culture.

[A]

Yeah. Is that the culture? Britain's racism is behind closed doors. So there's nowhere in the UK that I'd be too scared to go because there's no. There's none. But there's places that I know are more racist than others. So I went and did this gig and. Oh, it was in Hull. H U L L. Hull.

[B]

Hull, Hull, Hull, Hull.

[A]

And I went to Hull and it was a comedy and curry night. But these people were not Indian or Pakistani, they were white. But it was comedy and curry night. And these white people did not have any friends that weren't white. These were the types of working class, not that bright white people. And so I did this gig.

[B]

White, not bright.

[A]

White, not bright. And I did this gig and the host is a white guy. He came on stage, he killed it. And I usually tell how well as you know how well you're gonna do, but how much the host kills it. And he was doing his easy material and killing it it. And so I'm like, I'm gonna have the best time because I am a superior comedian. I'm funnier than the host, so this will be great. So I come out on stage thinking, you know, let's just do these jokes. And they just stare at me. And like, the whole time, they just stare at me. And I remember just thinking, wow, I'm dying. And before this, I'd never died at this level. Like, I'd had laughter like that. You can expect bigger laughs, but I've had laughter. This was the first time I didn't get laughter. There was no laughs, not even, like, sympathy laughs. They were just staring at me. So I end doing my 10 minute, my 20 minute set in 10 minutes. I just, like, ran through it all. And at this point, I'm just performing for myself because I'm just trying to make myself laugh. And they're just staring at me. And I come off stage and I have a drink at the box. I was like, don't let them see you sweat. Don't hide backstage like you sit at the bar and you have a drink. So I sat at the bar, had a drink. During the break, a woman came up to me and she was like, you're really funny. And I was like, okay. That's why I didn't, like, laugh, like, all right. And she was like, no, no, they didn't laugh because you weren't funny. They didn't laugh because you're black. We just don't really do black people around here. You should have known that.

[B]

And so, like, helpful, but also menacing.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like. Like kind of not helpful, but guys of helpful.

[A]

Yes. Just so you know, it was so in my head, I was like, wow, that's insane. And so we just don't do black people. Just don't really do black people around.

[B]

You telling you you're funny. That's right.

[A]

I wasn't funny. It wasn't because I wasn't funny.

[B]

You are funny.

[A]

I am funny. I'm just black.

[B]

We just fundamentally don't like you.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's fucked up.

[A]

I'd rather be funny than not black. So.

[B]

I'd rather be funny than not black. Has never been said in this studio before, and I'm enjoying it. I'd rather be funny.

[A]

So I was like, at least it's because it was because I'm black. I can't help being black, but I'm still funny. But I was so sad because I'd driven so far to get to this gig, and I thought it was going to be a good gig. And I just sat there in my car driving home, and it was, like, dark, and the moon was reflecting. And there's this singer called Laura Mvula, and she has a song called Sing to the Moon. And it was one of my favorite songs. And I was driving and the moon was really full, and it was just like. The first part of the song was like, hey, hey there. You sitting in your. Your darkest feelings or something like that. And I was like, shit, that's me.

[B]

Is this on the radio or you put it on.

[A]

It came on the radio, and I was like, oh, shit. And she was basically saying, like. Like, sing to the moon. Your time will come, your star will shine. And I literally started bawling, and I was like, the song is like, sing to the moon. And I was like, singing to the moon and singing it and thinking about the fact that, like, one day I'm gonna look back at this and it's gonna be a moment in my story. And I'm down right now, but it won't be like that for long. And one day I'm gonna shine. And one day I'm gonna be seen and one day I'm gonna be respected. And I bowed my eyes up all the way home, like, yeah, I had that. We have that.

[B]

Yeah. I want an inner cut. If we get all the footage when all this is over. Yeah, like, when you die, you get all the footage. I'M gonna make a super cut of you singing to the moon. And it'll. Because it's like the afterlife. It'll be perfect. It'll be tonally perfect. It'll kind of be like a harmony.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm going, like, someday, and you're.

[A]

Like, singing to the moon. Ah. And it's. So both of those songs will go very well together.

[B]

They would.

[A]

Yes. You need to play tune.

[B]

The light of a beautiful sun.

[A]

Literally. Wait, I could. I wanna. I just wanna.

[B]

I just get flagged.

[A]

Oh, I can't do it. It's not real life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can't just play it.

[B]

I mean, I'd love it, though.

[A]

No, we're not playing it.

[B]

YouTube.

[A]

But you should.

[B]

We can disparage YouTube, though, and we'll still be viable.

[A]

Right. But anyway, essentially, we. I think it's important to have those moments.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I had that. I have a song. Don't you worry about a thing by Stevie Wonder. John Legend remix. I resung it for the Will Smith Hitch soundtrack. So if you watch Hitch, the romcom with Will Smith.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

John Legend sings don't you worry about a thing. And that the way. I don't know what it is. That song does something to me. And so during the pandemic, when I moved to America and, like, put my whole career on the line to come to a country, and then it went into a global pandemic, and Netflix said. You were supposed to do a Netflix special in March. We're not sure if you can do it. Do it. You're just gonna have to wait here. I would play don't you worry about a thing and just, like, be like, you're gonna be fine. Don't you worry about a thing. You're gonna do the next special. You're gonna have a good life. You're gonna be fine. And music really does help. Like, I would cry to that song and just be like, I'm good.

[B]

Yeah, I'm good.

[A]

Don't you worry about a thing.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Good.

[B]

So I love that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wonder with all of this, because I was like, well, we have to talk about relationships and stuff. That's such a big part of what you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I don't want to be obvious, so it's a leading question, but do you think all of your power and all of your ambition is part of the. Like, you joke a lot about why am I single?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you think guys don't know what to do with it? That's the leading question. Take it how you want.

[A]

If you'd Asked me whilst I was writing that special. Yes.

[B]

That's where I'm getting.

[A]

I would think that.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

But not be like, why don't guys see my work? Like, I'm amazing. Why am I single? Why don't you get snap up? I now have learned that I did not want to be dated.

[B]

That's really funny.

[A]

And I didn't know that at the time.

[B]

You know, I'm not just saying this. That makes perfect sense. Even watching the special, I'm like, this is a person complaining about not being dating or dated. And I'm like, but they don't really.

[A]

I didn't know that I didn't want to be dated. Yeah, I had no idea.

[B]

That's like, I. I had a huge problem. I'm going to put it back to you, but with I love the I Love Lucy movie, the one with Nicole Kidman where she's like, I just want a family. I'm like, no, you don't.

[A]

You don't though.

[B]

No, you don't.

[A]

You don't.

[B]

You want to rule the world.

[A]

Yeah. And I'm the same.

[B]

And they tried to frame it that all she wanted was to bake cookies for her husband and I was yelling at my television, like, then go do it.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

It's like the Bob Dylan line where he goes, people ask me if I'm happy. He's like, anyone can be happy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's like, I want to, you know, change the world, basically. So, okay.

[A]

And I genuinely believe that at the time when I was doing all of that, I was doing it. I don't know. I don't know why, but I think I was repelling men because I didn't want to be dated whilst craving their validation and acceptance to give me what, like, what self worth I was looking for. Like, okay, I don't think I'm hot, but if a guy thinks I'm hot, then I'm hot. Or I don't think I'm worthy of love. But if a guy thinks I'm worthy of love, then I'm worthy.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Whereas I really am worthy of love and I'm really hot. And I could just tell myself that I could just give me give myself that I don't need to get it from men. I think me in my 20s was seeing, well, guys treat me like this, which means I am undesirable. So even though I'm like, I think I'm great. I've got a great personality. I'm a great catch, There was a part of me that probably believed she Was undesirable, which is why she was allowing herself to date these losers that treated her like this. Because if I believed I was desirable, I wouldn't have dated the foot fetish guy or the guy like. Or the goal. The guys I talk about in. In that special was because there was a part of me that believed that I deserved to be treated that way.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So that did not want to be dated.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm so single because I know my worth. So when I meet guys that don't treat me the way I'm supposed to be treated, I'm not interested. Whereas the old me would be like, oh, they're not treating me the way, okay, I can win them over. I'll just impress them. Enough.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Be good to them. Enough.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Do everything for them.

[B]

I will say one way that being Pete isn't bad. When if you met Val, my wife, something got figured out.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Saying, like, I do value myself and I do respect myself enough to want my relationship to be proper.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I am saying that because you're British. But then there was such time. Such time. There were so many times in my life where even with friendships, if someone was mean to me, it lit me up.

[A]

It made you.

[B]

What, a victim.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I could. Streaks on the china. Never mattered before. And that.

[A]

Look what we've learned.

[B]

Yeah, we've learned a lot. But that pattern got broken in the friend and relationship way. But I think what you've. And not that it's all about me. I think everybody's benefit. A lot of people are benefiting from this. I'm realizing that there's still some dormant. It's like you slide a tray into the oven and most of it's cooked, but there's some bits on the end that are still raw. And I haven't cooked out the, like, that victim sort of like.

[A]

Cause I'm being a. I. I'm reclaiming my sexuality into Catch a Dick. Because everybody was like, you're talking about things that are dark and deep, but you're making it funny, which means you're reclaiming your power. But the fact that I lived through it and I allowed those things to happen, there's a part of me that probably thought I deserved those things to happen to me. And so, yes, I reclaimed it and made a lot of money from it and made a. I'm the first British female comedian to have a Netflix special. I'm the only. I'm the only British female comedian that has A original Netflix comedy special. And so that I won in the end. But essentially, yeah, there's. I guess when I watch it, there's a part of me that goes, oh, that girl just. She just was seeking validation from men the whole time. And if she didn't given it to herself.

[B]

But that's good that you figured something out. And I. I bet you making the special continued the work of figuring out what you figured out.

[A]

Well, yeah. So my new special is called To Catch a Bouquet, and it's about whether I'm ready to be a wife because I still haven't been proposed to yet. So the whole of To Catch a Dick was. I've just turned 30, I haven't been proposed to. So I'm going to go back through my dick catching history to find out what went wrong. And To Catch a Bouquet is I'm now 35. I live in America. I've done the career stuff. I've got to a certain milestone. I have a Netflix comedy special still. Nobody has proposed to me. What went wrong? And then through that special, I go through whether I actually am qualified to be a wife. And so there's like a whole remit of what it takes to be a wife. And I go through it and I realize I actually don't want to be proposed to. I'm actually searching for something I don't want to want.

[B]

That's like me with snl.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Big enough to be asked.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think, like, I'm not being proposed to and I don't want.

[A]

And I don't want to be proposed to. You. Like, why aren't they proposing to me? Because you don't want to be proposed to, London. You don't want.

[B]

What does that mean to you, though? I mean, like, there's so many different ways to be married.

[A]

Yeah. I think the conventional way I took it was, well, clearly I'm not good enough. No one sees me as wife material. How dare they not see me as wife material? I'm amazing. I should be proposed to. I'll show them. But the reality is, is you don't show up as someone who wants to be proposed to. So why would they propose to you?

[B]

Right.

[A]

And so now I know, like, I do want to get married. I do want to get married one day. So it's like, I need to. I need to, to want that. I'm. I'm not sure if I just want it because it's something to have. Like, I want a puppy. I want to get married. Like, is it like that?

[B]

Yeah. Or Do I really get real serious about that question, by the way, or.

[A]

Do I really want to commit it to a human being?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In that sense, like, I don't know.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I think we go, oh, we'll get married. Like. Like, you could just throw it away, but marriage isn't easy.

[B]

Yeah. I have friends that got married because they thought they should get married.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

More than one. And no, don't do.

[A]

I have never lived with a man before. So even if I got married now, like, Whoopi Goldberg has a thing, like, I haven't been married because I don't want nobody in my house. And, like. Like, at some times when I've had guys come over the next day, I'm like, I wish you would leave. But, like, when you're married, you can't do that.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You have. And I don't even know if that's.

[B]

Something I would enjoy having someone there.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

You know what's interesting? I. I tried to do a bit about this. I abandoned it where I was like, I have some friends who, like, the main feature of their relationship is that they leave them alone.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

And Val, my wife, is like, oh, it's like bento box. It's like, your relationship. And I'm like, my style is PB and J. Like, I'm so enmeshed with my wife.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You almost, like, you become one thing.

[A]

Well, I would want. I think I would want that, but I don't know. I've never had it.

[B]

Look, I don't. This isn't advice. I'm just saying, for me, when you meet this person, you know. You know, Val and I dated for a while before we moved in and all that, but, like. Like, there was a sense of comfortability.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Meaning I'm with you when I was dating and there was someone that I wasn't merged with.

[A]

Right.

[B]

In my house.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're like, could you.

[A]

Could you leave?

[B]

And I'm sure they were like, could you leave?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, in my case, nobody wanted to leave. Well, they wanted to move in.

[B]

I understand. Oh, do people fall hard for you?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I've never been dumped.

[B]

Never been dumped?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I. I've only been broken up with once, and it was my first wife. She left me. But then I'm also quite proud that I was, like, never dumped. But I'm also like, that just means.

[A]

What does that mean? Right. It means we're the problem, probably.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. I used to think that was a flex and now I'm like, maybe it's because I'm like, insane or something.

[A]

Well, this is the thing you are. To be a comedian, you have to be broken. You have to be insane to want to get on stage, speech to strangers.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And say, hey, yeah, you don't know me.

[B]

Yeah, you should.

[A]

But you should laugh at the things that I'm saying. Please. And if you don't, I'll be upset.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

That is crazy. That's crazy. The last part is what we're working on is, like, if I do badly, I do feel really bad. I do feel rejected.

[A]

If I don't make strangers laugh, it ruins my day.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What? That's a insane sentence. Yeah, it's an insane. Like, normal people do not worry about whether strangers laugh at them every day. We worry about whether strangers laugh at us.

[B]

But some people worry if strangers will think their pottery is beautiful.

[A]

But no, because it's different, because the people that made the pottery, they made the pottery for fun. They did this for themselves.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We are using strangers to validate ourselves. The pottery was made. That was the thing that you did.

[B]

Well, but then you sell one pot and it's the pot. Popular pot.

[A]

Yeah, but making the pot was the thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We could make a joke, but if nobody laughs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We don't think it's a good joke.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Whereas if someone. You made a pot and it was. You still made a pot.

[B]

Yeah, that's true. You know that's true.

[A]

Nobody bought the pot, but you still made something tangible.

[B]

So have you ever gotten close to being proposed to? Did you feel it and then you broke up with them?

[A]

No, I've never even gotten anywhere near. My longest relationship's been two and a half years.

[B]

Oh, I thought you're gonna say months.

[A]

I was like, no, two and a half years. But it was years ago. No one now, since moving to la, yeah. I've dated some terrible men. Yeah, I feel like, like, really, really terrible men.

[B]

How do you meet these men?

[A]

There's different ways. Raya. You know about the app Raya?

[B]

Raya kind of famous.

[A]

You don't. You used to have to be famous to be on it. Now you can. They let anybody on there. But you also will see, like, Ben Affleck on there.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like the Twitter check mark.

[A]

It's just weird.

[B]

But you can just date Ben Affleck. Affleck.

[A]

I mean, you could match with him on Raya. That girl did match with him on Raya, and she thought he was not the real him. So unmatched him. And he did a video and posted it and was like, hey, Clarissa. It was. It is really me. I'm. I'm Ben Affleck. Like you like, it's the thing.

[B]

So he look over and I'm downloading. Right?

[A]

Yeah. No, yeah.

[B]

I love Ben Affleck and it was really me.

[A]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You're unmatched with me. It was really me. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But essentially.

[B]

So you're on the apps.

[A]

The thing about the reason why dating men in LA is terrible is because I believe it's terrible. And so I have. If I believe in something, then I'll look for everything to prove me right. And so I currently believe that I had a belief that. No, I had a belief that I want to date a famous man, but a famous man wouldn't date me until I'm famous. And so I had a belief that that's not true. Right, right. But I had a belief that, that in order for me to be deemed worthy to a famous man, I myself would have to get to a certain level. And so right now, because I can't date a famous man, I'll take these guys. They'll do for now. So I was dating out of work actors. I was dating out of work comedians. I was dating semi successful comedians, semi successful actors because they gave me the attention. I was like, well, this person has. Has a HBO special. He's an. But he's got a HBO special. And you know, I want to be dating that caliber of man, so I'll just date him. Like, it was terrible. I was dating terrible, terrible men. This person was in a GEICO commercial. He's been on tv. I mean, he's not where he needs to be, but I can help him get there.

[B]

This isn't where you are now.

[A]

No. I've had to retrain my brain to not be like.

[B]

That sounds insane.

[A]

This is very recent though.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The last toxic man I dated did was beginning of last year. So a year ago I dated an out of work actor who was hot as and I genuinely felt that I should help him be better. So I, I was like, look, you're out of work actor, but you've got potential, so I'm just gonna pour into you and make you great. So I put him in a movie I got. I was in the process of getting him new management and he treated me like. But because he was hot and he found me attractive and I could see the potential. I overlooked all of that. And just decided to pour into him. And he didn't pour into me at all in any way. But I was like, I don't need to be poured into. I'm fine. I'm strong enough for the both of us. I'm gonna help build you up and we'll be a power couple one day. That's what my brain told me.

[B]

And did you talk that way with him?

[A]

Yeah. And he would be like, yeah, help me. Okay. He would take all my help.

[B]

But then smoking weed out of an apple.

[A]

He was a narcissist. He was the worst. And I didn't realize this because I was too busy pouring into him. So now I date men that pour into me as much as I've poured into them. And I haven't found him yet. So I'm single.

[B]

Single.

[A]

Until I can find that guy that does that, I'm happily single.

[B]

I love it. Because if you were where you were, I'd be worried.

[A]

Yeah, I would be worried too. I had a lot of great sex though. Sex was amazing. Had some of the best sex of my life.

[B]

An out of work actor.

[A]

Out of work actor. Sex is not out of work actor. Narcissist sex is the best.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Form of broke sex. Sex with broke men.

[B]

You don't want a guy who has a meeting in 30 minutes.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

You want a guy that's free the rest of the day.

[A]

They got cool time. So they can't stay in bed and cuddle.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Because they gotta leave.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not unlike an unemployed man that will stay in bed with you all day and cuddle.

[B]

That's right. Smoking weed out of an app. You down. Literally has nowhere to be.

[A]

Nowhere to be.

[B]

And he's got bedhead because he was just in bed.

[A]

Right, right. I listen. I had some of the best sex of my life. So no regrets there. None.

[B]

I want to know you when you're 80. Can I please know you when you're 80?

[A]

Yes, please.

[B]

Cuz when you have all your stories.

[A]

I know. I know.

[B]

Can you imagine?

[A]

I know.

[B]

Cuz you're this way now.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Which is a delightful way. Imagine when you're like, have all the wisdom of your whole life.

[A]

I can't wait.

[B]

Me neither.

[A]

I cannot wait.

[B]

What's the Oprah vision? You want a talk show?

[A]

Yeah. No. So basically Oprah. When I was 8, I saw a documentary. I don't even know if it was a documentary, but I saw an Oprah.

[B]

Clip, an Oprah Oprahmentary.

[A]

And Oprah said. She said motherhood is hard. I would never have been Oprah if I was a mother. And I remember watching it and thinking, I'd rather be Oprah. Oprah than a mother.

[B]

This is in your movie. We're pushing in on you, literally.

[A]

And I remember being like, I. I think I'm gonna aspire to Oprah. So then I was like, what did Oprah do? And I was like, okay, she's a billionaire and she's the global icon, and she's a black woman from America. If she can do it, I can do it. And so my thing was always to be a black British sensation. Like, as in globally world famous for being myself, whether it's TV hosting or. Because at first I didn't know I was funny. I didn't know I wanted to be a comedian. I didn't know I could be. So I just wanted to be on tv. Then I wanted to be on TV in America. Then I wanted to be in films. Then I wanted to be in American films. So I guess the thing is always the Oprah is the. I guess the. The formula. Because what she's amassed, what she's done, I want that. And my mom used to, when my mom was pregnant with her, my brother, she would watch Oprah and Oprah would give her hope, and she would watch the Oprah Winfrey show and it. And she loves Oprah. And so I knew that Oprah was so important to my mom, and so I was like, I want to be that to someone. I want someone in the UK to be like, London Hughes did it. So I could. London Hughes exists, so I can. And so.

[B]

Yeah, but if you could do it any way. Way.

[A]

I guess it's the Oprah, because I also don't want kids.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm like, that is. I guess she's the model for me.

[B]

She did the talk show. You're not trying to do a talk show.

[A]

I mean, I wouldn't say no to a talk show, but I can do stand up. I can act, I write, I can dance. There's so many things I can do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That I can fall into anything, really.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Currently, right now, I'm focusing on acting. Like, I just wrote my first movie, which I'm going to be starring in. And so that I guess. Guess is one thing. But, yeah, stand up. It plays part into it. I want to tour. I've never toured America. I want to tour America. I want to tour the world doing standup. I want to make movies about black Britishness and black British women. And. Yeah. I want to be like Considered a staple. Like, you've got Chris Rock, Kevin Hart, Dave Chappelle, London Hughes.

[B]

It's interesting. We don't have the black British.

[A]

Don't have a black. There's Whoopi Goldberg. I remember as a kid, I was like, whoopi Goldberg was a global icon. And she didn't even have eyebrows. Like, I remember being like, this woman doesn't even have eyebrows. Like, she's not conventionally. She's not Halle Berry.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But Yet. But, yeah. Whoopi Goldberg movies aren't black movies. That Sister Act.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Isn't a black movie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, like, it's the.

[B]

Like, it's not even considered a crossover movie. No, just a. It's just.

[A]

She's just. She kind of transcended race.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. In terms of.

[A]

Of people just loved Whoopi.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And I wanted that. I was like, I don't want to be a black. I have to be a black British woman or a British woman or whatever. It's just like, she is London Hughes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She is her own thing. Oprah is her own thing. Whoopi is her own thing.

[B]

It was Whoopi, and it was the two white kids in the class that were like, word, what's up? We needed them.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

They carried a lot for us. I mean, for us. Imagine we're watching Lauren, we're watching Whoopi. We're like, where am I?

[A]

Where do I see myself?

[B]

And there's kind of like an Italian guy with.

[A]

Yes. With the backwards cat. Like, yo, Mr. C. Yes, Mr. C. That's your representation.

[B]

We can rap up there.

[A]

Let's go rap. Yo.

[B]

That's what we needed.

[A]

That is your representation.

[B]

These are the white people in the crowd going, I don't know.

[A]

Oh, I see myself. I don't have that. Black British representation is so few and far between.

[B]

I'll tell you where we see it. Are you ready? You know where it is. You know where it is.

[A]

Tell me.

[B]

You're an expert.

[A]

Tell me.

[B]

Love, actually. Colin. Colin, Colin. You think you can go to America? You hate it.

[A]

Love, actually.

[B]

Do you know that guy?

[A]

Is there black people in love? Actually?

[B]

Yeah, actually.

[A]

Are there actually black people in love?

[B]

Actually, there's. There's black people in love, actually.

[A]

I think I've seen it once. America loves love. Actually, Britain doesn't love it in the way America loves it. It's a massive film here. It's not a massive film in the uk.

[B]

That's interesting because it's so aggressively British.

[A]

That's why it's not massive. Like, it's obviously not aggressively British. It's just normal.

[B]

It's normal to you. Yeah, totally. But it's doing good PR for the UK because it seems so quaint.

[A]

Yeah. And I guess it is. But we're like, okay. Whereas our films that we like a big romantic comedy in the UK are American rom coms. Like A Pretty Woman.

[B]

Pretty Woman. Okay.

[A]

Harry Met Sally's Paprikash. Yeah, all of those. Yeah, those are great Seattles.

[B]

Those are great.

[A]

They're massive.

[B]

But yeah, no, love actually.

[A]

Love actually there. But yeah, it's not like.

[B]

I'll say with full respect, love actually is not good.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But it is good somehow. But when you're watching it, there's a lot of parts where you're like, this is not good. And yet I can't stop watching it.

[A]

So I guess.

[B]

But there is one black British guy.

[A]

That I'm glad, I guess I'm happy for the representation. Women though. Black British women, zero. And that's why I'm here. That's. I mean, this is the thing that.

[B]

If there's a void, what a thrill.

[A]

But you say this, there's no way hard to fill the void because America doesn't view the. America's default for blackness are black Americans. So when I audition for roles, they don't want me to be British because they're like, I just don't see the character as British. Because you haven't seen black British people show up.

[B]

That's interesting.

[A]

So whenever I audition for some stuff, if the character has to be American, then fine. But if the character is just the friend and she's black, I'm like, well, she can be black British then. And they're like, no, we just don't really see her as British because their default lens of blackness is black American. So I'm having to. All you need fight against that as well.

[B]

I just want to plant this in your incredibly powerful crystal guided self generated future machine, please. All you need is a little bit more of a direct line, meaning a casting director, with full respect to casting directors, they might be an impediment to you going like, we're not seeing this character as British. They didn't say British. Yeah, but if a, if the creator, if the ep, the star sees you on this podcast and goes, that's the best friend. That's the girlfriend. That's. That's.

[A]

She just happens to be British.

[B]

And then they go, oh, fuck. Entertainment is all surprise. Our whole industry is surprise. But they don't even know this is one way to surprise people.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And to me, which is when I met you, I wasn't like, wow, a black British woman. But I was, you know, now that we're shining a light on it, I'm like, you're right. We don't see that a lot.

[A]

And you see it with white British. So you see, you'll watch a white American film and there might be a white British person. There might be a white British person in the front. Friend. Friend group. There might be a white British male love interest. There might be a white British female love interest. But you rarely see a black British love interest or a black British female love interest in white American films. And so I have to push against that.

[B]

And yet I. I very easily see a not distant future where you go like, oh, that's weird that you had to push against.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Because the film that I wrote is all about that. It's a romantic comedy and it's literally about that. And so I wrote a romantic comedy about the fact that there are no black British female characters.

[B]

Interior Chinatown. Basically, you're pointing out, like, what's going on here. And that's great.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I mean, I'm sure it doesn't feel great when you're in act one of that story.

[A]

No, I just can't wait until I'm not in this act, because I've been in this act for a while and until I point out people, people don't see it. So I say stuff like, they're like, well, why don't you just do an American accent? And I'm like, because I'm a comedian, so why would I. Comedians just play themselves in movies. Seth Rogen is Seth Rogen. Adam Sandler is Adam Sandler. So me putting on an American accent would be like Tiffany Haddish in a movie being British. Right. She's just going to be Tiffany Haddish. Right, She's Tiffany Haddish.

[B]

That's. What is that called? Ethnocentric.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where we're like, but talk normal.

[A]

But talk normal. I am talking normal. And then. But I feel like it shows.

[B]

You should interact this with me telling you how to say words properly.

[A]

Yes, please do. But I feel like we talk about this in whiteness because Rebel Wilson can be Australian in everything.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And nobody cares.

[B]

Well, I think I'm really glad you said that because Rebel Wilson is the model. I. Now, you don't need this help. But I'm. I'm going like, oh, this is so easy. We're in the war room. Yeah, we're in the Situation Room and I'm like, oh, Rebel Wilson did it. Now we're just going to push London Hughes in that same direction because when Rebel Wilson in Bridesmaid.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

With that other funny man, Matt. Matt from Brit Bake Off.

[A]

Yes, Matt.

[B]

Also Paddington.

[A]

I'm blocking on British people. But Matt, he's so lovely.

[B]

You're trying to be here.

[A]

Matt Lucas, he's so lovely.

[B]

Matt Lucas, Very, very funny.

[A]

Love Matt Lucas.

[B]

And there's Rebel.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm telling you as like a very boring meaning I can represent the boring, just normal, not normal, boring white audience. We go, yeah. And that's all you can do. Yeah, that's what you can do. But then the thing is, what percentage of it was. I mean, Rebel's so funny, but it had a lot to do with this. Like, oh, here's a new flavor.

[A]

Here's a new flavor. But the flavor that was still palatable because you've seen white British people. So it. Yes, it's a new flavor.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But Rebel was Rebels. Australia put putting on a terrible British accent in that film. And, and people were like, wow, who's that girl? And I. For me to get to the who's that girl? Part.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have to now overcome systemic white racism in a sense because they're like, wait, you exist black British? Because we know white British people exist. So seeing Rebel as a white British person, you're like, oh, this is new and interesting. But we know this exactly exists.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have to now bring my whole culture that nobody knows anything about to America and include that in my existence because not enough black Brits have been represented in American TV and film. So I've got to overcome that.

[B]

If I'm betting show business.

[A]

You think I can do it?

[B]

I think you can do it.

[A]

I think so too.

[B]

No, but I think it's a no brainer. I'm in the weird bar in Vegas where I'm betting on show business trends.

[A]

You betting on London Hughes?

[B]

I'm betting on London Hughes. And I'm also, and also just the category of black British. I'm like, that seems, I don't know if it was as easy as this, but I, you know, it's really hard.

[A]

It's really hard because black Britain, black Brits are not allowed to tell our own stories in England anyway because of systemic racism and because the art industry is run by white people and the white people that run it, they want to see themselves and they're right in their stories. And if they include black people, which is rarely. But if they do, we're not the center. And we are often stereotypes. And so the things that get commissioned about black Brits are often stereotypes. So the biggest black British show right now is Top Boy. It's a show on Netflix, and it's basically like gangs, drugs in the uk.

[B]

Like Attack the Block.

[A]

Yes. So, like. Like, right, so a white guy wrote Attack the Blue. The block. And. And, yeah, and his representation of black people in that he came across, or in his count, in his council estates, which is what we call the projects. It's not as bad as the projects, but they're called council estates. Attack the Block is set in a council estate. And it was a white man's idea of black British culture because a black person didn't create it. And Top Boy is also a white man. A white man wrote Top Boy, and that's a white man's idea of black British culture. Until we're allowed to tell our own stories, they're going to tell the stories for us. And they might not be accurate all of the time. And so for me, being a black British person in the UK trying to make it in tv, I was deemed not black enough by white standards because they saw white. White people saw black Brits as, oh, they're in gangs, they're this, they're that, they're that. And I'm not any of those things. And then when I tried to tell my story stories, white people that would commission these stories would be like, yeah, but, you know, we're not used to seeing black people like this. We want to see black people this way. This is what we're used to. We're used to seeing this stereotype of black people. This is what sells. This is what we're going to make. And then you come to America and I go, hey, I'm a black British person. Tell my story. They're like, yeah, but we used to seeing black stories like this. We're used to seeing black American stories. We used to see in black slavery stories. This is what we want to make. So I'm up against it. I'm still gonna beat the odds. But it is a. It is a push. Yeah, but I know why I'm here.

[B]

Yeah. And it was a push. All the things that are normal black stories at some point were a push.

[A]

There were people that in black America that were like, we just want to tell our stories.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And then now we've evolved to. We want to tell these type of.

[B]

Stories, these types and female stories, everything.

[A]

Female black series, all of These things.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And with me, black British stories. Stories are not often told by black Brits and they're never told in America. So I'm telling black British stories in America. Yes, that's the thing.

[B]

Well, we have an Oscar for you.

[A]

I can't wait. Let's give. Let's give it to me. Inject it into my veins.

[B]

Sorry. Okay. Here you are. I love that you. You were like, give it to me.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Commit to the bit because it's happening. Yeah, There you go.

[A]

I can't wait for my Emmys and Oscars, honestly.

[B]

Well, that was my question is, remember when I said the spectrum of manifest over here and over here. It's just good old fashioned psychology. You hit what you aim for. Where are you? Because. Oh, my goodness. It's almost one. We're fine. The time has flown. We usually just talk a little bit about the meaning of life. So are you in that, like, spiritual way?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm deep in it. Deep in it.

[B]

In what flavor?

[A]

So I used. I was born Christian because my grandparents were my grandma. God Squad. I call it God Squad. Like, you know those people that are like, can quote the Bible. Yeah, that was my grandma. So then she raised my mom to be Christian. My mom raised me to be Christian.

[B]

Prayer in Islam that goes, God, give me the faith of old ladies.

[A]

Oh, literally, I can imagine my grandma's just like, let's go, God Squad. Jesus. Let's do this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I can tell you all of the books of the Bible in order. I can recite the them I genuinely went to in the holidays.

[B]

Are you singing it or can you just.

[A]

I can just say them.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And I went to Bible studies in the school. In school break during the summer holidays, all of that stuff. And I was a Christian. Like, I'm a Christian. And then I got to about 18 and I went to this church and it made me go. I don't know if I'm a Christian anymore. Literally.

[B]

In which way?

[A]

It was called Victory to Victory Church.

[B]

Oh, no. What? Yes.

[A]

And it was. Was an amazing church. It was a massive black church. And they were just taking my money, like, literally taking my money. There was. We had to give 15% of our wages every week to the church because that was tithe. It says it in the Bible. And then we had to give donations.

[B]

I'm not sure if it says that. We're checking. I know we're checking.

[A]

They said that you should.

[B]

My church was 10%.

[A]

Oh, well, look at that.

[B]

We have to give 15 I want to, I want to know. We have to look it up.

[A]

We have to give 15.

[B]

It. Does it say anywhere in the Bible that you are supposed to give 10% of your income as a tithe?

[A]

Yeah. Figure it. Let's find out. You're right. That the idea of giving 10% of income as a tithe isn't explicitly stated as a New Testament command. The concept of tithing does come from the Old Testament, where it was part of Israelite law. Genesis 14:20. Abraham gives a tenth of his spoils to Melchizedek. Leviticus 27:30. A tithe of everything from the land belongs to the Lord.

[B]

Yeah, but that 10 thing, that is so goofy. Like, that's how we goof the Bible. Yes, we go. Moses gave 10% of his income to Deck, right? And then we go. And then. And then your church is like, well, 15, let's adjust for inflation.

[A]

Literally. Yeah, but it's all we had to do. Donation, collection, offering, all of that.

[B]

Yeah, baloney.

[A]

And then we would. The pastor was so rich and so, like, he would basically benefit off of us. We would. He would fly to Bahamas to spread the word and we'd pay for it, like, all of these things. And I would look at him, be like, I'm not sure that, like, I was so broke. I was working at TGI Fridays and giving all my tips to the Lord. And at one point I went, I'm sure the Lord wouldn't want me to be broke. I'm sure. And I just was like, you know what? Maybe I need to do some rethinking at the. Of this whole Christianity thing. So I looked into Islam and I looked into Judaism, I looked into Buddhism, and I. I was like, okay. What I realized is it's all the same. They're all the same. So now I know that they're all the same. What can I take from it? What do I know? And I realized that instead of God or Allah, I say the universe. But essentially the universe is me. We are the universe. We are all connected. We are the universe. Universe. I am God, essentially. And so I now know and believe that whatever I believe will happen, will happen. So if I believe in God, I will find ways that God has helped me in my life. If I believe in myself, I will find ways in that I overcome things. It just. It's just belief. It's all about self belief. So I'm very spiritual in the fact that I. I pour into myself, I pour into other human beings, and I know that we are all one. And the Universe connects us and we are all just manifestations of our inner thoughts and inner beliefs. And our world is just a manifestation of our inner thoughts and inner beliefs. So, you know, I used to say to myself when I lived at my mom's house and I was in my bedroom and I had my vision board on the wall and it had America in the middle and it had all the things I had Netflix Special and it had Living in America and. And it had designer handbags and all these things. I sat there and I was like, this is my future. This is. This is what I'm going to have for myself. And I had it. It's not a surprise. I had it. I believed I would have it. So I. I had it. If I sat there and went, I'll never get this. I'll never do any of this. I'll never achieve anything. Then I won't. That's literally it.

[B]

Yeah. You have to see it.

[A]

You have to see it first. Now you can swear and you can be Pete and be like, oh, I might not get it and I'm a victim, but there's a core belief. Belief. The difference between me and you. Is there a. There's a core belief. No, the similarities between me and you. That there's a core belief that despite all the stuff we went through, there was a core belief in both of us that we would be where we are now. And that is why we are where we are now.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Dead over.

[A]

Dead over.

[B]

Do you think you. It's over when you die?

[A]

Oh, I don't know about that one. That's hard because, well, if we're all.

[B]

One, that's the thing. And then you die, then you're saying we're not all one because.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And apparently separate, self ended. So it's all over.

[A]

No. I do think that the spirit, this, the body dies, but I don't think the energy dies. So I think that we scientifically, the energy of London Hughes will still exist, but the body of London Hughes won't. Now, where that energy goes, I do not know. Know.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

But I have genuinely seen ghosts. So that's another thing that I'm like, this is my house.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

In my house. And on the motor and on the motorway. I've seen two ghosts.

[B]

On the motorway.

[A]

Yeah. On the freeway.

[B]

On the freeway.

[A]

Two ghosts?

[B]

No. Ghosts on the freeway.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where? In a car in a Model T driving next to you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No.

[A]

What is it? Truly? No. Me and my cousin were driving home. Home and sober and untired. And we're driving home at night and we were the only people on the road. And it was like empty. And a man ran in front of us, ran and did this. And I was like. And then she was like. We slammed on the brakes, got out the car, we hit the. The thing. There was no impact. There was no sound. I. There was. There was nothing. She saw it, I saw it. A man ran into the road, saw us, and went like this. We both saw it. And we were like, what the was that? And so that stretch of road, we decided to Google. And five years ago, a guy got hit. A guy got hit. So we assume it could be him. It could have been a man from another time, we don't know. But we both saw him. We both saw him. We both saw him. We both. I don't know what to tell you. I don't know what to tell you. And then that was the most recent ghost. And then before that, when I was younger, in my house, I had. I lived in a free story Victorian style house. My bedroom was on the top floor. And I used to go to sleep with the door open because I was scared of the dark. So I could see the light from the hall hallway. And I would wake up and the door was always closed. And it would annoy me. I'm like 12. It would annoy me because I want the door open. So I tell my mom, mom, stop closing the door because I need it open. I don't want it closed. And she would be like, I don't close the door. And I'm like, okay, mom, sure. So then I was like, you know what, I'm gonna just catch her out, okay? I'm gonna catch her. I'm gonna stay up and catch her closing the door and be like, see, I told you mom stopped closing the door. So I waited by my bed and I stayed up and I waited and I watched the door. And around about, I guess, an hour into the wait, the door handle went down, slammed shut. And I jumped up and I opened the door and nobody was there. And I was like, mom. And I shouted, mom. And she didn't reply. And so I ran downstairs down three flights of stairs. My mom was asleep, sleep on the sofa in the living room. There's nobody else in the house. There was no windows open in the house. And the door handle went down, slammed shut, and went back up. I have no idea how to explain that.

[B]

We both saw it.

[A]

We both saw it.

[B]

We both saw it.

[A]

And to this day, my mum will say things like, you Know this. Like, you know, just like. They're like. They're watching. They're over us. They're there. We can feel them. People, when they die, they're not always passed over. In Jamaican culture, we have a thing called nine night. So my mom's Jamaican. Nine night is when they die. It takes nine days for the spirit to, like, just come around and pass over to heaven. So in the. During the nine night, you have a party in your house every day, and family come round, and you just celebrate the person because the spirit of the person will be there, and that's what they believe. And so when my grandma died, we had a nine night so that she could come and visit all of us in her house. So we were all in her house celebrating her. And we. Jamaican culture believes that her spirit was there too, because it takes nine days.

[B]

She just keeps turning the stereo down.

[A]

So she's just like, come on. My grandma was a part. She was a. She was a raver. But, yeah, so I. I don't know. I. I have friends that have seen ghosts. Like, I have a friend. She's. So she'll call me, and she'll be like, there's a woman at the end of my bed staring at me. And I'm like, babe, just. Just be calm. She's like, I'm calm. She's friendly. And I just tell her to go. And she'll be like, you need to leave. You need to leave. And the woman goes like, I don't know what to tell y'. All. I don't have all the answers. I could tell you that we both saw it. That's all I'm telling you.

[B]

We both saw it.

[A]

Both saw it.

[B]

One of my early bits was when your intonation implies that you have something else to say, but you don't. I don't. And when I was a waiter, tgi I worked at Applebee, and not Applebee's. Bennegan's.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Sometimes as a waiter, I'd go, I'll be right back. And I'll be right back. And that's kind of when you went. We both saw it. We both saw it. Literally is my favorite part of the whole thing. London, I could talk to you all day. I've enjoyed this. I know I got a good part of your day. Yeah, this is pre Oprah, London. Literally, I could just call you to get two hours of your day.

[A]

Well, actually, no. I'm really nice to you because you actually don't deserve me at this level.

[B]

That's right. Oh, even here even pre, pre Oprah. Like, this is like.

[A]

You got lucky, honey.

[B]

You got lucky. I love the self worth.

[A]

Why did you want me for this?

[B]

Because I enjoy talking to you.

[A]

But how. But you didn't know you'd never heard of me or anything.

[B]

No, just enjoyed talking.

[A]

Look at that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then stumbled across the diamond.

[B]

You had a Netflix special, which I watched. It's great. And then so I was like, well, then this works okay. But I mean, it's not every day I meet somebody that I'm really vibing with and making me laugh. I mean, if I do, I'll go like, you should come on the podcast. And that's how we got here.

[A]

Look at us. Look at us.

[B]

I love us.

[A]

I love us.

[B]

This is how we end. You'll be the first black British woman.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

To say, keep it crispy.

[A]

Keep it crispy.

[B]

You just did. That's how we end the show.

[A]

Done.

[B]

It's over.

[A]

It's over. Thanks for having me.

[B]

Thanks for being here. We both saw it.