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Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You made it weird. You made it weird.
Pete Holmes
You made it weird. Oh, yeah, you made it weird. Made it weird. Yes, you did. You made it weird with Pete Holmes. What's happening, weirdos? This is a fun one, a silly one, a special one. This is Mary Elizabeth Kelly, who I discovered scrolling on the gram and I saw. I'm actually going to show you the reel that I saw that I watched maybe 17 times in a row, crying with laughter. This is the real. This is what introduced me to actor, writer, comedian, improviser and all around delight, Mary Elizabeth Kelly. Let's play it real quick.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Just noticed you haven't really done the dishes in a while. Just like.
Pete Holmes
I'm pretty busy.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I ain't your mama, so get to scrubbing. So it's just starting to smell. Have you met Karen's boyfriend yet? Yeah, bit of an ass. He's quite mean to me.
Pete Holmes
So did you end up going to yoga this morning or.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I started too, and then I came back home because I. How you say, Bathroom emergency. You haven't paid me back for dinner.
Pete Holmes
I don't think I owe you money for dinner.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You owe me 40 quid, milord.
Pete Holmes
What?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Just 40. I paid. It was 80. So. Half.
Pete Holmes
Gonna buy you a drink.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I have a boyfriend, so. Yeah, okay. He's a New York City cop. You better be careful. Oh, pardon me. I think you've got a wee booker up your nose right there. Down to the left a little bit.
Pete Holmes
Honey, we have nine Amazon packages at the door.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's weird. I don't. I didn't do that. Who did that? I don't know.
Pete Holmes
Not me.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, I did that. Sort of.
Pete Holmes
Okay, so I saw that. I reached out. She came on the pod. I'm so glad. She's also been on Master of None. She's been on American Dad. She was on. I had it right here. Where is it, Barry? That was the third one. Yeah, Barry. So she's acting, she's writing, she's producing. She's. She's incredible. So talented, so fun and I'm so glad you guys are here for our conversation. Only one quick thing to plug up top before we jump right in, which are my tour dates. If you're hearing this the day it comes out. I'm going to be in Phoenix this weekend. February 7th and 8th. Go to PeteHomes.com for tickets, followed by my show at Largo on February 15th. Then I'm coming to Vancouver. We added a second show in Vancouver. Thank you, my Canadian weirdos on Feb. 21. The dates after that are Atlantic City, New Jersey, Austin, Texas, St. Louis, Missouri, Nashville, Tennessee, and Royal Oak, Michigan. Get tickets. All of those. I promise, if you saw me last time I was in your town, it'll be a different hour. And I'm really excited about my new stuff, so I hope you like it as much as I do. In the meantime, enjoy. Mary Elizabeth. This is such a fun one. Glad you're here. Check it out. Get into it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, we're starting.
Pete Holmes
Okay.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
From the moment you walk in, I guess.
Pete Holmes
Here, let me help you.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Thank you. It's a. Yeah, it's a matcha.
Pete Holmes
Keeps it hot, doesn't it?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Keeps it quite hot, actually. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
I'll do my level best to keep it hot.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay.
Pete Holmes
My favorite level best. Do my level best.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I love Britishisms.
Pete Holmes
Britishism.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I wish I was British.
Pete Holmes
Have you noticed? First of all, hello and welcome.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Hello. Thank you. Thanks.
Pete Holmes
Have you noticed how many ways British people have to say something's not real or faked?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Are you mad? Are you mental? Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Are you winding me up? Are you taking the piss?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That. Taking the piss?
Pete Holmes
They can't. They have so many.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Like, I can't believe.
Pete Holmes
Wait, is this real?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. They can't believe anything. I don't know. Maybe because skeptical stuff's gone down already.
Pete Holmes
Well, because a lot of people have left.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Brexit.
Pete Holmes
Oh, well, I didn't mean Brexit. I meant the original Brexit, which was us.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, we did leave.
Pete Holmes
I call Brexit Brexit, too.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay.
Pete Holmes
Because we left the squeakle. Elvis. Yes.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Cheers.
Pete Holmes
So, Mary Elizabeth 1. You're so funny.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Thank you. So are you.
Pete Holmes
Get the out. What? If I only said it so you would say it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Some people do that.
Pete Holmes
I love you.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Some people do. I love you, too. Yeah. Oh, we're in it now.
Pete Holmes
Tell me the story of when you told your. Your male partner the first time you said, I love you.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay. He is very, like, private, personal person, and I'm not. He's a ppp. A triple P, if you could believe it. And I am not.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, you're out there.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
If you can tell from my personality.
Pete Holmes
Having fucking Instagram lunches with other.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Exactly. Yeah, I'm doing that.
Pete Holmes
You do that.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I don't do the food, but I'll do the people. I'll post the people.
Pete Holmes
Post the peep.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'll post the peep. I don't post the food. I'm not a food blogger. But I'm out there.
Pete Holmes
You're out in the mix.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And I'm an emotional. I'm an emotional person. And So I was saying I love you to him a lot. Right away already. I was just sort of like, so.
Pete Holmes
You said it first.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Well, I would go, I feel a certain way about you, but I don't know if I should say it. And he's like, don't say it until you mean it. And I'd be like, I'd, like, write it on his back.
Pete Holmes
Wait, this is kind of what I want.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It's actually very cute.
Pete Holmes
This is kind of what I wanted to do. Not really, though. Well, with full respect to what you do, I'm like, okay, can we come up with a funny. Your account? Because this seems in your wheelhouse, you know, when you don't want to say I love you. I see people sharing this.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Write it down, write it down, write it down.
Pete Holmes
No, no, no.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
We'll copyright it now.
Pete Holmes
All for you, obviously. But, like, you need to be cranking that content.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I. Yeah, it's true. My wedding ring. Oh. Oh, my God. What is that?
Pete Holmes
What does that mean?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That mean, can I take my sweater off? Oh, that happens.
Pete Holmes
And I'm less committed to my life.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, it can tell. It's really sweet when it's cold out. You're less committed to your wife.
Pete Holmes
When I'm cold, I'm in the mix.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
My favorite club, Ice Bar.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I like to go there and meet women, me.
Pete Holmes
And what I do is.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I mean, you meet women at the ice bar because your ring just slides right off.
Pete Holmes
It slides right off.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm having the opposite problem with, you know.
Pete Holmes
Oh, you.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Pregnancy.
Pete Holmes
Well, that's what we're gonna say is, you're swole.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm swollen.
Pete Holmes
How'd you get so swole, bro?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Working.
Pete Holmes
Well, wait, we're both add And I'm loving it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay.
Pete Holmes
Oh, but you would write I love you on his back.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, I would write I love you on his back.
Pete Holmes
Then we're not gonna forget pregnant.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No, no, we're not gonna forget. How?
Pete Holmes
We have a visual cue, a very subtle one.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
A subtle visual cue is how to.
Pete Holmes
Be a class act as a gentleman. I'm sorry. Are you pregnant? Tell your body.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Are you pregnant?
Pete Holmes
Clearly, the baby's healthy, but you are not showing.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No.
Pete Holmes
Well, are you meant to.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Are you daft?
Pete Holmes
Are you winding me up?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You. Oh, gosh. What do they say in England when you are pregnant?
Pete Holmes
In the oven?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
They. Well, I'll remember it, but it's something stupid. Yes.
Pete Holmes
Chat. GPT.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, probably. What do they say? When do you have. Do you have it? Oh, yeah, Easily.
Pete Holmes
It installed itself on all of our Phones when we weren't looking. Jk. But it's so fun.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I wouldn't be surprised.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, yeah. What is a. How do British people say colloquially, oh, my goodness, you're pregnant? Do they have like funny ways in Britain to say looks like you're pregnant?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That was very specific.
Pete Holmes
I know she doesn't mind. It's not like Google.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
In British slang, there are several humorous and colloquial ways to say someone is pregnant. She's British. Some common expressions include up the duff. A cheeky and informal way to say someone is pregnant, often implying a bit of surprise. In the pudding club. An old fashioned term that humorously likens pregnancy to a pudding, reflecting the shape of a pregnant belly. Bun in the oven. A widely used metaphor comparing a baby in the womb to a bun baking in an oven. In the family way. A more refined somewhat.
Pete Holmes
Oh, are you in the family way? That's the one. I want the Queen in the family way.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's the nice word. Impolite. But is often used in casual joking content.
Pete Holmes
Thank you.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
These phrases add a playful or human.
Pete Holmes
We don't need. We don't need your take. We don't need your take.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It's funny. She kind of had a bit of a smile when she was saying that.
Pete Holmes
I'm telling you, I'm not afraid anymore. I spent a lot of time being afraid of AI and now I'm like, I think it's gonna be good for you. Just a. Okay, listen to her.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
This is the thing. We don't have much of a choice at this point.
Pete Holmes
Yield to it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But. But the up the. What did it up the.
Pete Holmes
Yeah. What was the first one up the duff sound? Up the duff.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, it is up the duff. In the pudding club. You in the pudding?
Pete Holmes
Are you in the pudding club?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm in the pudding.
Pete Holmes
What should we have for pud?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm. I'm way deep into the pudding club.
Pete Holmes
You're not turning down. You're having pud for two.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm having pud for two.
Pete Holmes
You're in the fair. The family way is the family way.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I think I was thinking of. They say that you fall pregnant that you don't. Because that you're not like, oh, I became pregnant or I got pregnant. They're like. And then I fell pregnant. Which feels like an illness.
Pete Holmes
I fell ill. Yeah. I took to pregnancy.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Anyway.
Pete Holmes
Could you do the queen? I'm not saying the queen is one of your impressions, but just we're in the crown. We're in the later seasons.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay.
Pete Holmes
You just have to be very still.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay.
Pete Holmes
Not putting you on the spot. I'm just saying, being a very still old woman with the little handshake.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
I'm pregnant.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
And you just say, I see you in the family way. That's. It's just for fun. It's just a softball. It's going to be so easy. Ready? And action.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay.
Pete Holmes
Hello, Mom.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Are you in the family way? In the family way.
Pete Holmes
She couldn't wait to say it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I couldn't wait to say it. The queen.
Pete Holmes
Wait to say it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
The queen loves to. I feel like she was a little bit judgmental probably. Well, extremely.
Pete Holmes
Wouldn't you be?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Well, the royals are famously.
Pete Holmes
Are they?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I think Meghan Markle's not there anymore because.
Pete Holmes
Oh, she blow the whistle. She blew the wheel.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
They would whistle, mate. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Never cared about the royal.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I really don't either, weirdly, as. Even though I'm kind of an Anglophile.
Pete Holmes
You have care about the royal's face.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But what?
Pete Holmes
Because I'm honestly, I don't know what I mean by that. Yeah. You just look like a white lady.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You know, my mom really loves the. You know what? My mom and her generation loved the royals because of Princess Diana.
Pete Holmes
Right. And it was pre Internet.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
That's all you had.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
She's like one of us now.
Pete Holmes
You have like, drones in New Jersey.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, yeah.
Pete Holmes
Before we knew about. Allegedly. Are they gone?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Well, no, I'm just saying. Allegedly drones.
Pete Holmes
Oh, right.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
They say. Well, I don't know.
Pete Holmes
Could be. Could be something else.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Could be something else.
Pete Holmes
Could. Do you do Larry David? Pretty.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I've not done Larry David. He's a bit out of my wheelhouse. You know what I mean? But I could. Hey.
Pete Holmes
I mean, hey.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I don't say no.
Pete Holmes
How do you feel about doing Denzel as a white woman, would you do.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm not doing that.
Pete Holmes
Probably not gonna do it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No.
Pete Holmes
I did him on stage the other night, and I was like, I feel you back away because he's a black man. But then I was like, it's not like I'm just doing a. Like a stereotypical voice. I'm doing Denzel.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Well. And if. And. And I do have to say it was very something. I. I had this idea for a video and then someone did it, and I was like, thank God someone did it. But it was basically any movie he's in.
Pete Holmes
He's Gladiator. I am never on the gram.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Did you see this video?
Pete Holmes
I saw this video when it's like, going to rogue.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right. Like, fully British. Whatever, people. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
We're going to go.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And I thought that was really. I was like, it hit it on the head.
Pete Holmes
Well, look, we're all over the place. We're not going to forget pregnant. We're not going to forget family way.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Let's talk a little bit, if you don't mind.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No.
Pete Holmes
With an older fella.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay.
Pete Holmes
Catch me up on the Internet. I'm just kidding. What? I. I really am. I keep the. Who cares?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay.
Pete Holmes
When I've gone into the portal where I saw you.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes.
Pete Holmes
I'm so struck with what the Internet is.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
Like, I'm really in awe of it. I'm not just an Andy Rooney going like, it's melting our brains. I have that. But then I. I go in there so infrequently because it's like sugar for me.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
And I really could be like, it's addictive. Oh. I could see myself really getting into this.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
So I'm like, I'm just gonna keep it off my phone. I install it. That's something smart. I know.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You gotta.
Pete Holmes
And. And yet I post, so don't feel judged. I'm out there posting, so don't feel like I'm saying this is a bad thing. People are on it. You gotta get the word out. I love it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
And here's the unexpected thing. So it's not just evil. Sometimes I'm blown away. Present. Present company in the till.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Thank you so much.
Pete Holmes
I was video about using an accent to get out of uncomfortable situations.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure. Sure.
Pete Holmes
Mary Liz. I laugh. I was alone in a hotel room cackling like, nothing. Like, you put on, like, I love the Simpsons. You put on an episode of the Simpsons. You're laughing.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
But sometimes you get lulled into this hypnotic state when you're watching stories.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes. Yes, yes.
Pete Holmes
And then one hits you and it really, like, hit is the word. Shocks you. It surprises you. And I'm watching shit. Like, that kind of helps. That one kind of sucked. That one's not good. That one's just interesting all of a sudden. And this is the compliment to you. But I also wanted just your take on the whole thing. Like grade A, like, AAA comedy. Like, that's as good as it gets.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's.
Pete Holmes
I really felt that way about your video.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's so nice.
Pete Holmes
And I felt. I feel that way about. Well, not to diminish the compliment. So I won't say it's aaa, but the Gladiator one, I was also like, that's. Ready to go.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes.
Pete Holmes
That's. I could do that. On stage tonight, and it would murder. This guy did it in his living room. And that doesn't take away from it. But I'm like.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But that's the beauty of the Internet. It's like you can have this thought and then just make a video and just put it on the Internet, and then people can consume it and it's there.
Pete Holmes
That's right.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And, like. Right. I mean, I love stand up, and I've always admired stand up. I could. I have tried and not been able to do it for just it the way my. I've always done improv and whatever. And for whatever reason, that feels easier for me. But stand up. Right. It's like you. It's like you work at these jokes, and you have to do it in person in front of people. And, like, you get the immediate feedback of the laughter or not laughter or whatever. But the Internet's interesting in that way, in that you kind of just have to be like, okay, I think this is funny. I guess I'm just gonna post it. We'll see if other people like it. Like, you don't really get to workshop things.
Pete Holmes
Yes.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But there's a beauty to that too.
Pete Holmes
There's an upside and a downside to that. There's less refinement. Right. That's my old man hat being like, you're not gonna see the craftsman that, like, knows how to make a fucking pair of clogs.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Right.
Pete Holmes
As much. But I'll tell you, there are jokes that I do and I love. They're my favorite jokes. And they're. They're usually very silly.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
And then you take them to a weekend at a club. Now you're doing five shows. You do it five times. By the fifth show, that joke is dead.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. It's true.
Pete Holmes
Because it didn't work. You lost your confidence. It's not fresh to you anymore. And it's like, it actually needed to be a short. It should have been a short. It should have been more like a photograph than a performance. Like a moment.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But it's kind of nice that you get to, like, do that in real time. I don't know, like, that you get to do it in front of real human beings and see their react. Like, well, yeah, that's something I miss about theater. And, like, I did theater all through high school and college. And I love the immediate feedback. I love. Whereas, like, being on the Internet, people. There are some wonderful people like, that are watching and engaging and excited about things. And then there are people who are. They're just on There to be mean.
Pete Holmes
Shit on you, to project their pain onto you.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Exactly.
Pete Holmes
And, like, tear you down.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Like, people really are. Can be intense. But I've had more positive outcomes than negative.
Pete Holmes
I feel in this moment. I feel weird about that for you.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Thank you. Yeah. It was an adjustment, for sure, at the beginning.
Pete Holmes
What's your strategy? I didn't expect to talk about this, but I'm glad we are. So there's haters and just worse than haters, there's just, like, people being trolls.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, yeah.
Pete Holmes
Control. And how do you guard your creativity so you're this precious, like, flame.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
How do you guard it against the overthinking that, like, oh, what are people gonna say? Is that.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, my God. It was an issue at first, majorly, and it still creeps in from time to time. But, yeah, at the beginning, it was like, how do I keep. Like, once you have a big viral video, you're like, oh, I need to keep this going. And how do I keep this? How do I make another video that's just as good and that people will like? And you start catering the people in the comments. And while it's interesting and important to, like, listen to those people at times, like, oh, that's funny. You should do this version. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's great. There are some people, you know, obviously they're negative, and that gets in your head and you go, okay, well, then maybe I don't do that next time. Whatever. But I've started to just be like, what do I like?
Pete Holmes
Yes.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
What do I think is funny? What brings me joy? What inspires me. Exactly. And I do that thing and I post it, and I just don't look at it. I'm just like, post it. I post and ghost.
Pete Holmes
Well, that's great.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I need to take.
Pete Holmes
I didn't make it up. I didn't make it up.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Do you want to pull your shirt down? I don't care. It's just because it's on the Internet. We're talking about the Internet. And I was like, yeah, I thought her belly. No, I've done an episode where my belly's out. And people made it was actually. I saw the video and whoever made it, I thought it was very nice. It was like a funny. I didn't feel made fun of, but yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Well, that's good.
Pete Holmes
Pete's bellies out.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Well, right. And then. And then the. You know, the next time you're doing it, you're like, is everything. You know.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, it's on. On top. I Don't think I would have noticed your belly was out except that. Well, first of all, you're pregnant, so it changes your.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It does change the belly. It's really like, the baby's out.
Pete Holmes
The baby's out. You know, the baby's saying, shouldn't we let it out?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
We should. Well, not yet.
Pete Holmes
Not yet.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It needs some time.
Pete Holmes
It's not Gotta cook. It's the family way.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It's the. And I'm up the duff, so.
Pete Holmes
Okay. I could talk about this in the Pud Pudding Club. In the Pudding Club.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I love.
Pete Holmes
I could talk about this endlessly because it's a big topic. It's like, how much ownership does the audience have over an idea? So let's take the idea that we had.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
When you wanted to say I love you to your boyfriend, but you know it's too soon.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right.
Pete Holmes
I really think you should make this video. Okay, two, what's the consideration that goes into that? Like, oh, well, guys will think it's weird. Or is there. What's going. What's in your process?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Well, first I go, okay, let me just make sure that, like, no one has done this before. Because that.
Pete Holmes
The hand trembling.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes. Where you're like, you know what? Like, there are plenty of times when I'm like, oh, that's a fun idea. And I search it on TikTok or Instagram or whatever, and someone's done it already, and I'm like, God bless. Have a good time. Great.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But, like, with this. With this video where I was like, oh, the accents to, you know, avoid conflict or whatever. My friend Natalie, corporate Natalie, on. She's on TikTok and Instagram had made a video that was, like, singing to, like, get her roommate to do things. Like, she, you know, be like, you haven't done the dishes. Can you please help me with the dishes? You know, like, yeah, break. Softening the blow with a song.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And I was like, I do that, but not with singing. I do it with accents.
Pete Holmes
Yes.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And so, you know, when. And then I'm like, okay, I'm gonna make this video. I need to make sure no one's done this. Like, no one's, like, done the. You know, no one's already been inspired by this video. Whatever. Got it. And then you give Natalie credit and you say, like, this was inspired by her, but it's different. And of course, there are people who.
Pete Holmes
Are like, they'll still say you ripped it off.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pete Holmes
Oh, dude, I don't. Again, I'm light on the Internet. But I did a bit about Internet security checks. Like, when it's like, prove you're not a robot.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
And Mulaney, I hadn't seen that special of Milanese. He did one of those.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay.
Pete Holmes
People are like, brought out a boombox and played his bet.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And I'm like.
Pete Holmes
Because the premise is the same.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Like, we're so different from.
Pete Holmes
Sure.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I know.
Pete Holmes
You don't know that. I'm also. Look, I'm not even getting mad. I'm just saying I also live in a world where I see those captcha tests.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
See, that's the thing. I know. It's like, I think people are just cruisin for bruising.
Pete Holmes
They want to be bruising.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
They want it. They want to be like, I see that. I see what's wrong with this. Like, I. Whatever, you know, because it makes them.
Pete Holmes
Feel control or something smarter and better than. And important. Yes.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And look, we all want to feel that way, but.
Pete Holmes
No, that's really nice.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
We all can just take a breath and.
Pete Holmes
You know, I think about this all the time. Like, you wear a jersey, and I. I wear my own types of jerseys. It's not literally a jersey, but like a jersey or a vanity plate. We're always trying to say, like, the attributes of this thing are mine. Like, those are like, even Nikes. You're wearing Nikes. And you're like, right. I'm a just do it kind of guy.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
And they go around, and we can't really fault them. You just want them to get a more nutritious meal.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Like, you can the big picture a little bit. Yeah. And like, the Internet. The Internet is like a huge. Right, exactly, exactly. And like, the Internet's huge. It's a big, big place. And sometimes you miss things. And. And, you know, if someone's like, hey, so and so already did this, I'm like, oh, okay, well, you know, here, watch this person's video. I guess these are similar or whatever. Or this is a coincidence. Whatever. It doesn't happen often because I do my due diligence. Like, I'm very intense about making sure that, you know, I haven't somehow missed something. Yeah, but the Internet's big. And some people do. I'm not discredited. Some people do straight up rip off other videos, like, word for word. Yeah, well, that's so inspired by.
Pete Holmes
And it's, like, so prevalent.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It's not.
Pete Holmes
It's prevalent.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
And that's an issue. And there's. There's a credit issue.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes, that is absolutely true that I'VE.
Pete Holmes
Talked about on other podcasts where probably on the same scroll I saw this, and I wish I could remember his name. Anyway, people post the audio from someone else's post with other video, but it's only funny because of the audio. And then you're like, this person's a genius. And then you're like, but it wasn't.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But it's not even your audio. I know that gets pretty freaky. But also at a certain. Like, that's been done to me before, where I've made a video and someone's made pretty much the exact same thing and no credit to me, whatever. And I'm just like, you know what? It's just. It is what it is like. And I have to just keep going in my lane and keep making stuff that I love, and it's fun for me.
Pete Holmes
And I'm sorry, I give. I've said this advice that was given to me a million times, but I think it applies here. So Conan o'. Brien, Flex name drop. Whoops. Drop my ring again. Oh, no, it's Conan's name. That was the dropping things left.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
The ring or the O? The.
Pete Holmes
The. It was the ring. Is the O in o'? Brien? I'd like to change it to that.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, cool. They say in Britain, they say pennies dropped, like he dropped a penny.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, he's dropped. Oh, I didn't know that. Wow, that's something you're teaching me about. Well, Britishism.
Pete Holmes
Not to Brit splain.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Brit spleen.
Pete Holmes
Are you Brit explaining this to me? And they do Conan. Of course I'm. Look, here's what you don't know. Sometimes you're mid mansplain and you realize you're mansplaining.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Really? Do you? Well, good for you. Because a lot of men don't know they're doing it at the time.
Pete Holmes
It just happened.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Wow.
Pete Holmes
Lisa Gilroy did the podcast yesterday, and she was like, your mansplaining. And I was like, I am.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I love Lisa. I love her. Lisa, I love you.
Pete Holmes
In my defense, so nice. I was being an ass in the spirit of our convo. So it wasn't like Ernest.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Anyway.
Pete Holmes
I was mansplaining sort of a bit anyway. Who cares?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Conan o'. Brien.
Pete Holmes
Conan o'. Brien. Ryan said to me, he goes, he thinks of show business, but in our case, we can include, obviously, the cacophony of Internet show business.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes.
Pete Holmes
It's like. It's like a million people in a tiny room playing musical instruments. And he goes, all you can do is just hit your Triangle. And just keep hitting it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes.
Pete Holmes
People are changing instruments. People are trying to play louder, solo. Crazier. It's like, just keep hitting your triangle. Just be this consistent. That's what that guy does.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
And don't worry about all the noise. I love that Eventually. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't really stick the linen. Eventually, because you're being consistent, someone will go, what is that dinging? I've heard for 10 years. I've heard it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
What is that annoying?
Pete Holmes
What is that annoying? Is something in the oven?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Finally, I'll pay attention. Is somebody up the duff?
Pete Holmes
Is a bun in? Yeah. There you go. So anyway, bringing it back, I'm gonna give you one that's, I hope, interesting.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay.
Pete Holmes
Because there's a. There's a part of me that's like, we can't be paralyzed with, has someone done it before? Meaning, take Seth MacFarlane. Right. Made family Guy.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes.
Pete Holmes
Family Guy is its own thing. But when it started, everyone was just like, it's a Simpsons knockoff.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure, sure, sure.
Pete Holmes
And I think he even would say, yeah, it was a Simpsons knockoff. So there's an area for, like, empowered. Like, yeah, but I deserve to take up space, too. Meaning. I'll give you my example. My example is. And I didn't know this until after the fact, but the first Internet video, first Batman video we did was called Batman Vanishing. Who cares? I just was watching the video. I was like, what if he gets caught? It's the most obvious thing in the world. Batman's always sneaking away. What if he gets caught?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
We just made it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
I could have googled it. And had I googled it, I think it's one of the scary movies or, like, a Wayans Brothers movie where nobody cared, by the way.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right.
Pete Holmes
This isn't a story where people, like, yelled at me for stealing Awayans Brothers bit.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
But I might have found that. And I would have gone like, well, someone did it, and then I wouldn't have done it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And then you wouldn't have done it. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Ten other some of the greatest joys of my life. And I wouldn't gotten stopped.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
There. I've told the story a million times, but, like, I can do it really fast. Gary Larson, who made the comic strip the Far side.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pete Holmes
He mailed out the Far side. People have heard this. Everyone that listens to this podcast is like, old man Holmes is telling his far side story. I love the story, though. I want to hear your reaction to it. He mails out 50 cartoons to 10 newspapers in the area. He waits weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks. He doesn't hear shit. One Thursday, he's like, fuck it. I'm gonna drive to Chicago. I'm gonna pitch him in person. He drives to Chicago. He literally waits in the waiting room with his little comic portfolio. Waits and waits and waits. They finally see him, shows it to him. They go, these are great. We're gonna buy it. The fars. It's the fucking far side. They didn't know that, but they're like, these are great. They buy it. He gets a deal. Drives home what's in his mailbox. Ten rejection letters from all the places he had mailed it to. He's like, if I had waited a week, I would have been so disheartened by the rejection that I wouldn't have driven to Chicago. So I'm like, that's what I'm saying is there's a time to drive to Chicago.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure, sure.
Pete Holmes
Because every joke is kind of saying, go out there. Stealing.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No, of course.
Pete Holmes
Like your version of the accent thing and the singing thing. Yeah, we're all riffing. There's only so many notes on the guitar, is what it is.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right, right.
Pete Holmes
Well.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And I think it's finding the balance, you know, like, obviously between, you know, you're not. You don't want to be afraid of creating content for creating things that are, you know, somewhat similar or whatever or, you know, based off of something, or. I think it's just honestly giving credit where credit is due. And really, even if it's. For me, sometimes I'm literally like. Even if it's just a hair similar, I'm like, also look at this person's thing that they did. You know, this is also very funny. Whatever. And, you know. Right. But it is. It can be debilitating when you're like, oh, God. Well, what. Because it's mostly like, what will people say? Because I know I'm, you know, doing my due diligence, doing what I'm supposed to be doing. But, yeah, it's a. The Internet again. It's just like. It's a scary place. People can say whatever they want, whenever they want, however they want. Yeah. And with. Right. With, like, no picture behind their, you know, words. And so, yeah, it can be really intense. I mean, let's just say therapy's helpful.
Pete Holmes
Oh, it comes up on the couch.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, yeah. I mean, because it's like, I'm a. I am a person who, like, I have trouble with lack of control. I mean, who doesn't really like I think that's a common thing, and I can be anxious and whatever. So kind of coming to terms with, like, I can't control what people say.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And I don't want it to stop me from creating things that I think are fun and wonderful. Because for every, you know, crappy message, I get a message from, like, a new mom being like, I watch your videos when I'm breastfeeding at night, and I've had postpartum depression. It's the only thing that brings me joy. You know, stuff like that. And you're like, okay, yeah. So this is legitimately, like, bringing actual joy to people. And I can't be.
Pete Holmes
That's what I mean. Like, what is the point? And the point is to, like, really make people laugh and express yourself.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes.
Pete Holmes
So then the other thing I think that covers. I've not. Covers. Cover sounds like we're hiding. What smooths it over for me is when I made, like, take the Batman video, I was also making 3,000 other things. Meaning I'm in the flow. I'm producing ideas. I'm not just a guy that saw a thing and then like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right.
Pete Holmes
Speaking of cartoons, when I submitted cartoons to the New Yorker, you'd have to submit 10 a week, and they'd reject them every week.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
If you went in with one and sometimes some weird guy would come in off the street with one cartoon.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
It could be the best cartoon in the world. They wouldn't buy it. It could be the best cartoon in the world. They wouldn't buy it. Sure. And that's kind of the thing. Like.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
If you steal one idea, you really look like a schmuck. But it flies, like, every once in a while, you're. You're nudging up to something else that exists.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Well. And, you know, I think all you can do is just keep creating and keep making.
Pete Holmes
That's what I mean.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. More. More creative things and be like, you know, obviously, this. There's. I mean, for me, at least, I do feel this sort of like, there's always this, like, kind of bubbling fountain of stuff that I'm excited about. A whole notes app full of ideas and stuff. So, yeah, it's not. It's not like I'm just like, ooh, goody. Like, let me. You know. But some people do do that, and some people build huge platforms off of only just taking other people's stuff for audios or whatever.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
So, you know, it's always been there. Yeah, exactly. And it always will. It always will.
Pete Holmes
And in a way, the networks, that was what they were doing. You know what I mean?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No, that is true.
Pete Holmes
It's like, that's the oldest idea in the book.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I know these. Well, that's working well.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Look at these weird pirates.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right.
Pete Holmes
That don't have checkbooks and they sleep all day. Well, I get up early.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
And I know how to sell advertising.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Exactly. Right. Literally. I know.
Pete Holmes
And I'll tell them that. They'll get exposure.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
It's the oldest one in the book.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It is. Yeah. It's hard not to kind of like, you know, I'm sure people. Yeah. It's a tale as old as time, but song as old as still. As old as song. As old as rhyme. Beauty and the Beast. Rhyme. Rhyme.
Pete Holmes
Let me ask you this.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I know my Disney trivia 90s.
Pete Holmes
I know my weird myths about. About bestiality.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, okay.
Pete Holmes
Not the first person to point that out. See, there it goes. Somebody's already done that. What if in the future, we're wearing goggles and it tells you if your riff has been done. I mean, and how many times it's been done.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
The death of art.
Pete Holmes
The death of art. It's over. And you can. That's kind of like a weird black mirror. You can only say things that have never been said. So you end up saying things that are, like, incredibly weird.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Well, what is it in Garden State, when. And isn't she, like, do something no one's ever done before.
Pete Holmes
I can't handle that pic.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Pixie Dream Girl energy.
Pete Holmes
I'm friends with old Zachy B. And I would tell him this to his face, that I had a big problem with that scene because. No, not that scene with people like her.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, yeah. The Manic Pixie Dream Girl.
Pete Holmes
The Manic Pixie Dream Girl.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
The trope.
Pete Holmes
Cause what I was screaming. Cause I related more to Zachy B. And I was like, I wish to. More than anything he had said in Garden State. She says, do something that's never been done. That he had said. Me refusing to do that. Never been done.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Wow.
Pete Holmes
Like me saying, I don't want to do that.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You're flipping the script.
Pete Holmes
Yeah. And deal with that. Like, it's not weird. This isn't the only thing that's weird. Like, this is also weird. Like, no, no, no. Like, feel how weird you feel.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm saying no to you.
Pete Holmes
That's fresh, too.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Boundaries. Ever heard of them?
Pete Holmes
Ever heard of them, Portman?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I barely have.
Pete Holmes
Neither have I.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
This family, Irish Catholic.
Pete Holmes
It's one of the few accents we can still do kind of in like a demeaning way.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Which one?
Pete Holmes
You know what I mean? Like, you can still do that. That in Italian. I've already pointed this out. But you can still be like. Like, it's still.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
Maybe three more months.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I. I went to Ireland recently and.
Pete Holmes
Ireland.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I went to Ireland recently.
Pete Holmes
Oh, good.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
The. Thank you.
Pete Holmes
You do a good one.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I do. I. Well, there you.
Pete Holmes
Here's Glenn Hansard. Glenn Hanard. Ready? I. I do a one word. Glen Hun gets Ireland. Don't worry. Here's my one word. Glenn Hanser. Just say, I'd love to go out with you sometime. It has to be something like that.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I love to go out with you sometime.
Pete Holmes
Cool.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Cool. That's like they say school. School. School.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, school, school.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
How the heck do they.
Pete Holmes
We got a Katie La.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, cheers.
Pete Holmes
School.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's really exciting.
Pete Holmes
Okay, so you went to Ireland?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I went to Ireland. My sister got married in Ireland on the rolling hills. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Bad sisters. I'm like, it really is.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I love bad sisters. I love Sharon Horgan.
Pete Holmes
Me too. I love her in my life.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
She's really. She's really something. Ashlin B. I did a whole video on, like, Irish actors. Ashling, I love them.
Pete Holmes
Is a delight. Oh, yes, she's a delight.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You.
Pete Holmes
You've absolutely worked with her a couple times. I'm thinking, oh, we were in Home Alone together.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You went home alone together?
Pete Holmes
Look.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Cute.
Pete Holmes
No one saw it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I did not.
Pete Holmes
That's what I'm saying.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But I do love.
Pete Holmes
We all worked hard and I loved everyone. That was nobody side.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's tough. It's. But it's. Yeah, but you did it.
Pete Holmes
We did it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You did it. You can't be afraid.
Pete Holmes
Don't be scared.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You can't be scared of making stuff like that. I love her. She's. She's a sweetie. Yeah, I love. I loved Ireland and I love the people there. Anyway, I turned back on the ref.
Pete Holmes
Some people saw it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Plenty of people. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But. Yes, Ireland's amazing. But. Yeah. Some people. The. The accents vary so much throughout Ireland that sometimes times you can get an accent like that. They say down in Cork, people kind of talk with a higher accent, so it's not. Yeah. I don't know if that.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Particular phrase is something that they say. The hoi to toi.
Pete Holmes
Yeah. That sounds like.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, maybe. Yeah. I don't know.
Pete Holmes
It's like there's French people that definitely go. And I've heard. Ah. So I'm not gonna do that. That one. Oh, I've heard also means I see, like in Japanese. I heard that. I don't know if that's true.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, oh.
Pete Holmes
And easily Google it. But then it became like a stereotype and certainly.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure. Hey, stereotypes.
Pete Holmes
Sometimes, you know, me.com stereotypes for 10 added to your bill.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Hashtag stereotypes.
Pete Holmes
So you went to Orland and you heard lots of different accents.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes. And it was amazing. I love to. I just. Yeah, I love accents as we've, you know, as I'm sure you've come to realize. And I do. And you know what, Pete? I do that all day. No, I do. I use accents. Different accents all day. All different kinds of things.
Pete Holmes
Do you think for one second that I would love video just because there was funny voices in it? I was like, that video.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Is what non confrontational people.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes.
Pete Holmes
Okay.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
So again, Irish Catholic video.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. You know, so you don't want to be wicked and you don't want to be mean and you don't want to.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And you don't want to set a boundary.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, exactly. You don't want to be appropriate. You don't want to not be codependent dependent.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Exactly.
Pete Holmes
You are in charge of how other people feel.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes.
Pete Holmes
The story I like to tell. It's all my fault is once my dad was mad and I said, like, this is what I would say to my daughter. And I said it to my dad. I go, dad, you're upset. That's okay. And he went, it's not okay. I was like, right, right. It's a different thing. Like, if you were upset, I would say, mayor Liz, you're upset. That's okay.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Let's feel it. Right.
Pete Holmes
I understand.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Let's talk.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right.
Pete Holmes
But he's like, no, right, same.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You push me the off.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, yeah. Make me better.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, exactly. I know. And that's. I know.
Pete Holmes
Make me better in real time.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Make me better.
Pete Holmes
What I need now.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I need it. I need everything from you, my child.
Pete Holmes
Did you watch Severance Obsessed? It's when the. The. They're doing the penance. Like, I am deep. That's what they want. I am deeply sorry. It is completely my fault. Like that.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And that. That's like show up. And that's what we're. And that's what I was taught as a child, basically. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
You're 100% in charge of how your parents feel. Can I tell you a. Okay, I'm gonna give her credit. Her name is Milana. I can't say her last name.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Vine. Trub.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Love Her.
Pete Holmes
She's my dear friend. I've never even tried to say her last name.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Really.
Pete Holmes
Vine. Trub.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I think that's how I say it.
Pete Holmes
I'm just.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And I don't know her.
Pete Holmes
I'm too scared.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
She.
Pete Holmes
I'm too scared to try.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Pop off in the comments. Tell us if that's comments.
Pete Holmes
And remember MeUndies.com stereotypes 10.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, great.
Pete Holmes
Moana, you get full credit for this. We're having coffee and she goes, and I'm talking about how guilty I feel that I let. It wasn't this exactly. But I'll use it as an example how guilty I feel that I don't visit my parents more often. And she said, oh, she's so fierce. She goes, but calm.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
She goes, can we stop saying guilt? She goes, guilt is when you do something that's against your own values. Like you betrayed your own values and you feel guilt. Let's start saying what it really is. Let's say I feel really codependent and that I know I'm letting my mother down, that I don't visit more often. And I was like, whoa, yeah, right.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
With my homies.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, I've done it. I've stopped saying guilt.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You know what? That's. I think that could change my life.
Pete Holmes
Can I give you another one?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
For free. Because it seems like we have the same issue.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
This is unreal. It's a little bit.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Because I feel guilty all the time.
Pete Holmes
Tell me.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, just all the time. About everything thing.
Pete Holmes
I'm going to put this down. I'm just all jazzed up and I want to hear you.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay.
Pete Holmes
You feel.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
What's your second thing? What was your second advice?
Pete Holmes
And then we're going to go to that.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay.
Pete Holmes
Don't get upset hearing something you already knew. That's a big one. I wrote that on my mirror.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh my God.
Pete Holmes
Don't get upset hearing something you already knew. Isn't that a game changer?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
So what?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I feel myself tearing up.
Pete Holmes
I know, I know.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Wow.
Pete Holmes
I me, look, I love my folks. When I call, I say out loud, don't get upset hearing something you already knew.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Wow.
Pete Holmes
So somebody does responds or behaves and you go, I already knew that.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right, right.
Pete Holmes
Same person.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right.
Pete Holmes
The insane person is like, yeah, you're fighting the stream.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. It's like a. It's like an. Yeah. A tidal wave.
Pete Holmes
Yeah. I love that you got emotion.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I gotta first baby.
Pete Holmes
Are you having that, like more Moshe. More access.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, yeah. More access to.
Pete Holmes
This isn't me saying you're Being emotional, like, you get more like, it's open.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm a crier. I'm a general crier. I would say pre pregnancy, I was a crier, but I definitely am more right. I'm feeling all of every feeling.
Pete Holmes
They're there.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. They're just accessible. They're right.
Pete Holmes
And you can get them. That's what I'm saying.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes.
Pete Holmes
I have them too.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
So when your hormones are like, flare or whatever you want to say, are heightened.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
You just can't get them.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
And you're like, we're all having. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can get them.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And it's kind of a beautiful thing. It's kind of gorgeous. But it's also. I also, like, give so much less of a. About other things. Like, certain things, I'm like, who cares about that? Then other things, I'm like, you know. Yeah. They're more easily accessible, I guess, is what you would say. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
No, you. Look, I. I don't want to tell you, but it seems to me when I. And. And men obviously have hormones too. When I'm feeling more open, more vulnerable and I'm just seeing them, I'm like, at least I know how I feel.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
You know what I mean?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes. You're in touch.
Pete Holmes
Somet times they're there, but they can't get through.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And if you don't know what they are, that's scary.
Pete Holmes
Deal with them.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
So when you're in states that heighten your availability to your own feelings, you can be like, yeah, I am sad or I am mad or I am this.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And at least you know, also something that Irish Catholic, like, you know, that upbringing, at least for me, like. And I'm also. I'm from New England. I'm from Connecticut.
Pete Holmes
You are.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But yes. So there's not a ton of oh, word. Oh, word.
Pete Holmes
Oh, word.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's sort of giving cork cadence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, word. They do say. They say that in Ireland all the time. Oh, word. But, yeah, I'm from Connecticut. My mom is actually from Massachusetts. From outside of Boston.
Pete Holmes
What part?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
She's from all over. No. Where. Where's Tewksbury?
Pete Holmes
I don't know. Somewhere couldn't take you to.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But I believe. I believe that that's in Massachusetts. There are a lot of berries.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Ducks. Yeah. We could name them all. Newburyport.
Pete Holmes
My favorite. Favorite. Well, it's in Rhode Island, I think. Sea Conch.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sea Conch. I know someone from Sea Conch. I know someone from Sea Conch. And I've been to the Outback Steakhouse in Seaconk and the Chick Fil A.
Pete Holmes
These are the spots.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And I love Seekonk. But my. My. I'm from Connecticut. My mom's Catholic.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And in Connecticut, you know, there's not a lot of, like, emotional discussion, etc.
Pete Holmes
Like, it's the birth of this laugh.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Exactly. The lock jar. Exact. Exactly. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
The woman version is worth.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.
Pete Holmes
But you're laughing.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I do have a funny story. I used to do impression. I've done impressions, like, since I was a kid. Like, that's just been how I've made people entertain people for my entire life. And I used to do. We watched Austin Powers. I think I was, like, a little too young to watch Austin Powers, but I became obsessed.
Pete Holmes
A lot of vagina.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
A lot of vagina. That didn't make sense to me until so much later.
Pete Holmes
Her boobs floating in the hot tub was so weird.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I think about that.
Pete Holmes
I think about that every day. Her boobs.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Her boobs in the hot tub.
Pete Holmes
They're so buoyant.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I think about.
Pete Holmes
I. I think about it every day. Not every day, but, like, you remember it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Two options. She moves back in the hot tub.
Pete Holmes
And they're like, yes.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And. And no one. And, you know, talking about it.
Pete Holmes
No one's talking about it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But we're brave enough here.
Pete Holmes
This is what the Internet is for. You're not, dear. The Internet.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
And you're not alone. Everyone was, like, so buoyant.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I guarantee everyone's like, yeah, what the hell? Everyone's gonna agree with us.
Pete Holmes
It's one of those things you didn't know. You kn. Someone said it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Exactly. It's so true. And that unlocks something for me just now. Oh, my God. Yeah. So. Yes. Yes, exactly. And that was my story. Yeah. No, So I. And that was it.
Pete Holmes
And that's why I just want to.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Talk about her floating tatas.
Pete Holmes
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Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But I used to do impressions of like Austin Powers and of Fat Bastard all the time. Yeah, and my mom, we're at a. We she had a dinner party once and she at our at our house in Connecticut and she loved being like wait Mary, come, come to your impressions. Like come, you know, whatever. Do it for the fancy. See Connecticut ladies Fairfield County, Connecticut, ladies. And so I'd walk up and I'd be like, you know, doing my Fat Bastard impression, which I think at the time was like, you know, get in my belly. I'm bigger than you.
Pete Holmes
Very.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Thank you. Hold for applause.
Pete Holmes
Sorry, I just didn't want to say anything in case there was more.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I mean, what is it, baby? The other other white meat. Oh, baby, the other other white. Me. That's something else he says.
Pete Holmes
Can I also interject?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Get in my belly was the first touchstone. You know how you need a touchstone?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pete Holmes
And because he had a catchphrase.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's how I go.
Pete Holmes
Like, and. And Austin Paris, too.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Shaggedelic. All these.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, yeah. Of course that's how he would get.
Pete Holmes
I'm sure there takes in between takes. Mike Myers, trying to get in character would just be, do I make you, honey baby? Do I make you.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I have a video on this. I have a video on this.
Pete Holmes
What?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Check it out. I have a video because. Because. Well, anyway, let me finish this. So basically, I would do that for, like, these, you know, very, like, WASPy New England ladies. And my mom thought it was so funny, obviously, because I'm her daughter and she is my biggest fan, but I would do, you know, get in my belly, and these ladies would be like, oh, good. Okay, good job. Very funny. And I'd be like, I bombed. I absolutely bombed for these Connecticut ladies. They didn't. They didn't get it.
Pete Holmes
They weren't in the geist.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
They weren't in the geist. And look at me, you know, years later.
Pete Holmes
Take a look at me now. That's what that song's about.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, it's about me. It's about you and Fat Bastard. And Fat Bastard and Fairfield County, Connecticut, also.
Pete Holmes
Okay.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, the video.
Pete Holmes
Yes. But I feel like Mike Myers, in general taught all of us how to, like, really do characters and voices. Oh, like when he was so brave.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
We could all kind of do it. I'm not saying well, but he showed us how to go, like, big.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes.
Pete Holmes
And then we were all just like, you can go big.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
And then at a certain point, we were all like, we don't want you to go big anymore. Like, it's, like, done right. I'm not saying that was right or wrong. I'm just saying we lost our taste.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You're so right.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Because I do. I do love. I love. I don't necessarily. I'm not like, a super campy, charactery person, like, in terms of. Of characters. That I do. Which maybe, I don't know. I don't know what it is, but I've never been able to, like, really, like, unlock that, like, super silly, like, out there. But I love watching that. And I love people who are able to, like, develop. Like, one of my dearest friends is in the Groundlings. I love going to the Groundlings, and I love watching just, like, huge, big characters. I don't know. Anyway, I just admire those people.
Pete Holmes
Well, I think. Think there's good news. That it'll definitely be back.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, yeah.
Pete Holmes
Like now I really feel like old man homes. Everything just keeps coming back.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, always. Well, I think there's always an audience for it, even if it gets smaller or bigger. Whatever.
Pete Holmes
Then also the Internet, like, because of the Internet, like, Schwarzenegger impressions when I was starting out was the hackest thing you could do.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
You did. When you were a hack.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
And now, because of the Internet, Donald Glover, you can see, you can finally laugh. Laugh at what turns out to be the funniest thing in the world.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Which is an Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, I love Arnold.
Pete Holmes
That's all we need.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. And especially when you're really good. Like, when you're really good. Arnold.
Pete Holmes
So. Well, and there's a million of them.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Which is funny. Isn't it Bad. But some people have a real ear for it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But I. I feel like that's happened. There's always going to be trends in comedy, obviously, you know, like, that's just the way it.
Pete Holmes
That's the way it is.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sadly. I feel like with, like, big characters nowadays, people are like, millennial core. Like, oh, that's like, cringe Millennials.
Pete Holmes
They're getting.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, yeah.
Pete Holmes
You have your own. Okay. Boomers.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, yeah. Cringe Millennial core or whatever. Like, if you're doing, like, like a silly character or whatever like that. I have always, you know that, like, our generation was raised on, like, the Mike Myers of the world. Gen Z will be like, millennial core. Like, and they hate it.
Pete Holmes
No. I'm so happy. Welcome.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm here.
Pete Holmes
It's like the meme where James Franco getting hung, and I'm like, first time. It's the first time.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. We're expecting be.
Pete Holmes
And they'll be hung, too.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, yeah. Oh, and it's already starting.
Pete Holmes
It is, yes.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Already. All right. You know, like, Gen Alpha or whatever is like Skibidi toilet. You know, they say the things that make no sense.
Pete Holmes
Skippity toilet.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Do you know about skippity toilet?
Pete Holmes
Wait, that's Real. Because that sounds. No offense, you're gonna have to look it up exactly. Like, kind of like a middle of the road riff that I would just use as a placeholder.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It's a real thing. And it also makes no sense.
Pete Holmes
Skibidi Toilet.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Skibidi Toilet.
Pete Holmes
We're done. This is garden.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
34 years old.
Pete Holmes
It's never been done.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, trust me, it's been done.
Pete Holmes
Skibidi Toilet.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And the, and the. The Gen Alpha children of the world are obsessed with sky toilet. You know, Ohio Riz. All of this stuff.
Pete Holmes
No, Ohio Riz.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
So Ohio I guess means Jen should.
Pete Holmes
Be sipping weak tea while you tell me this.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I barely know this stuff. And also I think Jen Alpha would find it deeply disconcerting that I even know any of this. But it's just from being on Tik Tok and stuff. But, but like, yeah, Ohio means back. Like if you're like, oh, you're so Ohio, like that means you're something.
Pete Holmes
You're running out of ways to say stuff.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Literally they're saying all kinds of.
Pete Holmes
Which is mid over mid.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Mid might still be a thing. I think mid's still a thing.
Pete Holmes
Can you say mid Ohio?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It's kind of Mid Ohio is. Ohio is on the, on like the scale of bad things. Ohio's like, you can't be mid Ohio. You know what I mean? Like, it's like bad. It's the worst Ohio to be Ohio.
Pete Holmes
How does Ohio feel about. About this?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I. Probably not good. Ohio feels Ohio about it.
Pete Holmes
Sorry.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, and, and Skibidi Toilet is a YouTube video. Pete. I actually, I can't speak to this because I'm also not an expert, but it is.
Pete Holmes
I'm gonna say if it's anything like Hawk Tua. I'm pre disappointed.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It. It is not anything like you've ever seen in your life before.
Pete Holmes
Really.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It. It makes no sense. It's really, really weird. And it's. It's. It's a video of like men's heads popping out of toilets and they say and they. And it's a song that's like Skibidi Skibidi. Yeah. And it's called Skibidy Skibid.
Pete Holmes
And now it became a term.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It became like a meme and then it became a term. I don't actually know what Skibidi toilet itself means.
Pete Holmes
I'm gonna love having a 12 year old daughter.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You're gonna really love it. Do you have a 12 year old daughter?
Pete Holmes
No, she's six. But in six years she's going to be like skibidi toy be like, come again.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Well, in six years, Skibidi toilet's gonna be.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, yeah, Gone. It's gonna be Ohio.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
So Skibidi toilet. Yeah. Just give it a Google. It's weird. It's weird.
Pete Holmes
Can I say, though, here's. Do you have this as someone who's in the mix?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
There's something. And I've said this before, but I'll say it quickly. There's something about the state. You're in a state watching these videos. It's. It's another reality.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Pete Holmes
And then you. You're loving things more than you should. And I've tried to do this as a bit. It doesn't really work, but I go like sending people an isolated tick tock that you died laughing at.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You had such a Boston accent when you just said.
Pete Holmes
Did I?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Tick tock.
Pete Holmes
Tick tock. Yeah, tick tock. Now Trump's saying, we can have tick tock.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, my God.
Pete Holmes
I knew he was great. Give me a Cruella. Oh, my God.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I love a crawler.
Pete Holmes
When you send someone an out of con, it's like telling someone about your dream.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
They won't get it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Well, sometimes.
Pete Holmes
Sometimes.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay. Sometimes you know that you know you've got a good friend. When they send you a TikTok and you're like, yes, this is me.
Pete Holmes
Honestly. That's true.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And sometimes you get them.
Pete Holmes
That's how you know you know each other.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Exactly.
Pete Holmes
Like, you're gonna like this.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. And you're like, absolutely.
Pete Holmes
And I will say for parenting and postpartum and also going back to Irish Catholic boundary list parents, have you noticed on. Because it's hard to do stand up about toxic family dynamics.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
Because people don't want to laugh at it. But if you're alone in your phone, you can go right at it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
You can make fun of moms hard.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And that's what's gorgeous. Well, and that's. And that is, I have to say, because you're like, you know, your. For you page or whatever, or your discover page, whatever app you're on is so tailored to you.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It is pretty great because you're getting this, like, relatable content to you. And so you're like, okay. And it'll find its audience so much more easily than if you are in a live crowd or whatever.
Pete Holmes
Put the other shoe on and be like, that is a miracle.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Told me when I was 10, like, that would exist.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Now that I'm 45, I'm like, I worry that there's Gonna be. I've said this a million. That there's gonna be like a goggle. Like a set of goggles you put on.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
I actually think this is my prediction. Let the Internet have my genius. Brilliant genius.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
My Brinius.
Pete Holmes
My brainius prediction.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes. Great.
Pete Holmes
Is that there's a time coming that hardcore pornography will seem quite quaint. Like, it'll be like, I can't believe they used to watch.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Whoa.
Pete Holmes
Like hardcore. Because what I think is going to happen with AI. Have you ever watched an AI. Have you ever watched an A.I. video that's just like morphing and like, it's almost like.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, yeah.
Pete Holmes
Tripping. It's like psychedelic and like a dragon turns into a rocket shooting up.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
I think we're gonna have that 360 hooked up in real time. This sounds like some real Philip K. Dick stuff. But the algorithm will be catered in real time. So it'll be taking data from.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Create our reality.
Pete Holmes
And it'll know when you're getting bored. And it'll turn up sex. It'll know when you're getting overly stimulated. It'll turn up education. It'll make you. Now it's just telling you about Bob Dylan in the 60s. Now it's telling you about the Civil War. Now you're getting bored. Now it's just tits.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, yeah.
Pete Holmes
It's like tits the size of mountains. It's the fucking floating tits.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And then you'll get sick of that. And you'll get sick tits.
Pete Holmes
But it'll keep you in.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
And I've said this a million. I think there's going to be like a time when it's like, don't put on the goggles. Oh, yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It's like.
Pete Holmes
It's so good.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
The Dalai Lama would be like, right. The bells and the smells. I'm staying in the. In the T. Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Literally. Well, have you seen Wally?
Pete Holmes
Of course.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You know when they're all, like, sitting in, like, little booths watch us, like, with a little tv. I mean. I mean, it could become real. You know what I actually have been finding and this is what is scary? Well, first of all, remember, like, the metaverse stuff?
Pete Holmes
Yes.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And it all was just sex. Like, immediately everyone was trying to all. Yeah. The metaverse just became sex. Don't you and, like, kill people?
Pete Holmes
Don't you not have legs?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
They found out how to do it. I don't know.
Pete Holmes
Legless, legless Legolas.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Hey, you don't need legs to have sex.
Pete Holmes
Turns out whatever's the bottom is the hole.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Whatever. The bottoms of the hole. And I've always said that.
Pete Holmes
I've always.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And I've always said this.
Pete Holmes
The perennial wisdom.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Whatever. It ends. That's the whole. Okay, but yeah. Recovery.
Pete Holmes
So it all turned into sex.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It all turned into sex and murder. Yeah. And I think they were like, we got to shut it down. Because when there are no rules, whatever, that's where people go. They're like, oh, you know, all this stuff, but something. Exactly. I do love Westworld. This is the thing also is more and more I see people are having trouble with, like, act with, like, discerning reality from.
Pete Holmes
I'm so glad you brought this up. You mean on.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
On the Internet already?
Pete Holmes
Can I. Okay, so I'm dead.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Thank you for bringing this up. Okay, I just want to interject my enthusiasm here. When I'm on Facebook, because I'm old and I like going on Facebook sometimes because you just. Who cares?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You gotta check.
Pete Holmes
Then you get to the reels. It's less. Really. And. But you get to the reels, and the reels are all fake. Yeah, they're all fake. And all like. But you mean by fake, like, I mean, not real.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Staged.
Pete Holmes
Staged.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes.
Pete Holmes
And you or I.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes.
Pete Holmes
This is what's happening. Like, yeah. Telemarketer calls me.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
And goes, daddy. Or whatever. Daddy, Daddy, I need $50,000. I'm in prison. And I'm like, daddy.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay, all right, all right.
Pete Holmes
No, but what I'm saying is my mom, my poor sweet mom might be scammed by something like that. And then there's also people that are getting scammed. Scammed by the worst sketch comedy. That's not sketch comedy.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pete Holmes
It's just supposed to be like, Michael Jackson was spotted in Paris, and they're.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Like, oh, my God. Yeah, yeah.
Pete Holmes
And then it was that offensive. But then it's like, it was my best attempt at what it. Hashtag stereotypes, hashtag types.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
I'm saying backslash. It's zero quality. And the comments are just like, oh, my God, I knew it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I know.
Pete Holmes
Or like weird cgi and it's a ufo. So tell me. Tell me what you got.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
So, yeah, I mean, there's like, the fake news of it, you know, whatever. Like. Or I don't want to say fake news, but, like, you know, it's literally just made up.
Pete Holmes
Fake Internet.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Fake Internet stuff. But then there's. There are more insidious things. Like there's this person on Tick Tock. And I've gotten their videos. Tick Tock. And I've got On Tick tock.
Pete Holmes
Get off. Tick tock.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Tick tock. Pete, get off. Tick tock. Sullivan.
Pete Holmes
Sullivan. Oh, always, always Sullivan.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It's always Sullivan.
Pete Holmes
Sullivan. Put down your hockey pads and get on. Check sh.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I know. So I could go into Sullivan's right now. Massachusetts, Sullivan, Mass, Cells.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, you know him, the new doc.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But the. I would watch that.
Pete Holmes
I'd watch it. I'm watching it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And you're watching it right now. What was I even saying?
Pete Holmes
You're talking about fake Internet.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, fake Internet videos. Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's this woman on TIK or this person group on Tik Tok that makes. There's this. It's this older woman who. I swear I've seen her in like, you know, Parks and Rec or something. She's like a woman that I've seen as an actress before and she basically is like recovering from dementia and saying, like, I remember you and I remember this and I remember my life. And her daughter's crying. Her daughter's wearing like a military uniform, of course. And everybody in the comments is like, it's a miracle. Oh, my God, this is so incredible. Blah, blah, blah. And nowhere does it say that this is fake or that this is whatever. And everybody is believing it in the comments. And I feel insane because I'm like, this is fake.
Pete Holmes
This is fake.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It's so clearly fake.
Pete Holmes
This is fake.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And it would be different if it was like, oh, here's a simulation of what could.
Pete Holmes
Whatever sweet video, right? Or here's exactly.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And they're saying it's real. And. And what's funny is that if you go to that person's page, there are all these videos of like, that. The younger daughter being a different character and whatever. Like, if you had any, if you took five seconds, truly five seconds to look into it, you'd be like, oh, that was fake. And then move on with your life is.
Pete Holmes
I couldn't be more excited about this topic because. Okay, so Matt McCarthy. Matt McCarthy has a great TikTok where he finds amazing stuff on old VHS tapes. Just to give him a shout out, he's on TikTok more meaning I'm not on it. And he'll show me stuff. And I'm like, matt, that's fake. One of the things that goes. And I'd say this if Matt was there.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
If you're just binging and like getting in the hypnotic trance, one of the things that goes is discernment. Because there's a very, very popular video of a woman, older woman, it seems, feeding ducks. You've seen this video. She's feeding ducks, and then the ducks start attacking her. And she's like. It's another. It's like, sweeter. She's like. It's very funny. Okay, here's my ish. Merrill is.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You think it's fake? You know it's fake.
Pete Holmes
Here's why it's fake.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Why is it fake?
Pete Holmes
Because it's an old woman being attacked by geese, and she keeps him frayed. Framed. She's getting bitten by geese.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right. Right.
Pete Holmes
Stays framed.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right.
Pete Holmes
She's panicking.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right.
Pete Holmes
And she keeps her arm out and.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right. Like the cinematography is.
Pete Holmes
It's phenomenal.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Right.
Pete Holmes
There's a video of a guy who goes, like, I'm gonna do a shot. And then he turns around and walks into his garage door.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, that's.
Pete Holmes
That's fake.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
I'm screaming it's fake. And no one is like that. They don't care. I know it's Wally. They're just going, yeah, yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
They're like, ha, ha, ha. I do that.
Pete Holmes
I did that.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
She's hot.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Well. And this is the trouble, though. This. Yeah, she's hot.
Pete Holmes
She's hot.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
She's hot.
Pete Holmes
Wood. Did they just write wood? No.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Skippity toilet.
Pete Holmes
Skippity toilet.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, exactly that. But truly, that's like, every single. Almost every single video I come by now, there's at least some little element of, like, something is being tricked, something is being weird, something is off. There's. But now it's happening where people will have pretend Karen. Karen's, like, come into their business and be like, you should have paid me yesterday. And it's so clear. Those of us who know good acting, we know.
Pete Holmes
But when it's bad, acting is out the window.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. And so we're like, okay, obviously this is a fake Karen. But then the. You know, the person's like a Karen came to my business. Go to the link in my bio and, like, book a service with me because, like, how horrible that this Karen, like, ruined my one client. So they're making money off of it. And that. That ain't cool. That's all I got the tires out of there. I hate it.
Pete Holmes
The Internet.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And we. And we can't do anything about it.
Pete Holmes
I know sometimes maybe this is terrible, but I'm like, maybe they're just over there and they're believing the fake UFO videos. But then you go like, oh, you know these people.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
They also get a say.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It is an oh. And that's what's a little Bit scary because they get to also decide sort of how. How our lives go. But you know what I would give. I would love to be a blissfully unaware person. Like, I love to be someone who. Yeah, I would love to be a chowder head. I would love to be just a.
Pete Holmes
Straight up sea clunk chowder head.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I would just love to be someone who's like, that's a funny video. And then just get. You know what I mean? Instead of being like, that's fake. Like, I get so mad about it, Pete.
Pete Holmes
I get pissed and trade it for the world. One of my dear friends.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
How nice would it be?
Pete Holmes
Mother on Facebook posted the Onion headline about how Shamu is kept in a giant Ziploc bag when they clean his tank. And she posted it and was like, this is an outrage. This animal should be treated more better and all that. Not freed from. Put in a Ziploc bag. And it was like, look, she's out there. She's on the road. She's on the road. She's also making split seconds driving decisions.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I know that actually, people. That's usually where my mind goes, is.
Pete Holmes
Like, to the road.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Like, to the road. Because I'm think my mind's on the road. I just get. I get really scared of, like, you know, again, I don't like. I get scared of, like, not having control and the thought of, like, people driving and also, like, believing that Shamu is kept in a big bag.
Pete Holmes
Yeah. Yeah. Like, well, she probably drove later that day and drove poorly because she's so mad.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right. She's pissed about Shamu being kept in a big ziplock bag. Hey, I feel like a lot of that is, you know, maybe she's got to get a sense of humor.
Pete Holmes
Possibly. Her name is Linda, because it would be funny. But anyway, what if she rear ended somebody and was like, sorry. I've just been. My mind's been sorry since I found out Shamu's kid.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Did you know that they keep. And then that person would go, oh, my God. And he'd be outraged by it, too.
Pete Holmes
And then they'd go get.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And then they go, exactly. And then they'd be spreading, you know, fake news.
Pete Holmes
Here's fake news.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Fake news.
Pete Holmes
Beautiful. Fake news. I love my news. Fake. He likes it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
He does. He loves fake news. He does.
Pete Holmes
I love it. It's the best.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
He does love.
Pete Holmes
It is boring.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Really. He love. He loves. He loves entertainment.
Pete Holmes
Yes, he does. Fair. Let me ask you this. How did you. Sorry to be so off, but I'm fan heavy. Research. Light because there's not a lot about you that's okay online. So here's my question. Good reason real because you're taking it back age from your male partner.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
How did this happen? Like did you. Did you strategically enter the influencer comedy YouTube space?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No, I studied acting in school. I did improv in New York for a while. You know like auditioned in New York for theater etc. And then moved to LA when I was like mostly booking like commercial and TV stuff. First commerce, first commerce. 7 up 10.
Pete Holmes
7 up 10.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Only 10 calories I believe. Only 10 calories. And I don't think it's on the market anymore people.
Pete Holmes
7 up 10.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
7 up 10.
Pete Holmes
That sounds so fake.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It was, it was. I, I swear to God. I think it was literally sold for like a month or something. And then I guess my commercial didn't do it, you know, do a good job. I didn't, I didn't sell enough.
Pete Holmes
Katie, would you please google 7up10? Is it 7up with 10 calories? Because I need to.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I think it is.
Pete Holmes
If there was a market for like.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Bit of sugar, what would else be?
Pete Holmes
10, 10 times the caffeine which would be zero.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Cuz it doesn't have any. And that's math diet variant.
Pete Holmes
So 10 calories.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
10 calories. And I cried in the commercial.
Pete Holmes
What?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
You had to cry on command.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Cuz I was like okay. It was like I. Oh you know what, I forget what it was. But yeah, I had to cry on command and I had to. It was my first like improv audition where they basically were just like, just talk for like a while about you know, know, boyfriend troubles or something and then. And cry. And so I did. And that's what book, that's what got it for me.
Pete Holmes
And I was like also crying.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm crying in the commercial because you. I'm like my mom said this is this and my friends are like. And they drink their soda and that's seven up ten. And that was in 2013. That was a long time ago.
Pete Holmes
Over seven up ten years ago.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, well over seven up.
Pete Holmes
Well over seven up ten years ago. And they just, they should start calling regular 7 up 7 up 320.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right? Like history is based. History should be measured in 7 up tens.
Pete Holmes
I believe it was Abe Lincoln.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's yeah, 7 up. And that's history. And that's history.
Pete Holmes
And that's American history.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
The microphone you can.
Pete Holmes
And that's American history.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And that's American history, people. And what the hell was I. What were we talking.
Pete Holmes
You're talking about how you got into how you felt.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
So I did a commercial. I did seven out of 10. Then I did a couple other commercials, and then I moved to la. And then Covid quite literally hit right after I moved to la.
Pete Holmes
Oh, no.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And so I was like, okay, so what do I do? And everyone was flocking to the Internet. Everyone was like, okay. And I had done a couple of little, like, things on Instagram or something before where I was like, Downton Abby impressions and stuff, you know, little things like that.
Pete Holmes
Now you're sequestered and then.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, sequestered. Yes, I have. So my. I met my husband when I was 19. In. In. We met in college.
Pete Holmes
Wow.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. So we've been together for a long time.
Pete Holmes
That was kind of your bet.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
For a long time.
Pete Holmes
So we've been together quite a long time.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Quite a long time.
Pete Holmes
Quite a bit. Quite a bit of a spell.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I love the guy. I love him so much.
Pete Holmes
I love you so much.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Hello, darling.
Pete Holmes
To another 20 years.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, we'd love to stay together forever. Stay together forever. We speak in British accents to each other all day. Yeah, he's really, really good.
Pete Holmes
I. I believe it. I. The way I solve things with Val is I often go, if I have to confront her on something, God help me. Let's say. Like, I wouldn't do this because I don't mind breaking down the boxes. But no one breaks down the boxes. And if I wanted her to break down the boxes before she put them in the recycling. And maybe I do, because I know she'll listen to this. Val, please. I'm just kidding. Yeah, I don't mind. It makes me feel like a lumberjack or something.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pete Holmes
But if I wanted to, I would say, this is embarrassing. I would. Would go, would you join me in my initiative to break down the boxes before you. Like, I have to make it a kind of a bit.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Or I'll do it as well. You join me in my initiative to break down the boxes.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's very good.
Pete Holmes
Before we put them in the garbage.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Wait. That's very funny.
Pete Holmes
It fills up very quickly.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, we need to.
Pete Holmes
The Amazon. You can do it with your thumbnail. It's not a hard thing.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No, the Amazon's the easiest.
Pete Holmes
It's a pleasure.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Amazon's the easiest one to do now.
Pete Holmes
They figured it out in the same way that Skittles were, like, how long before these things should start melting in your mouth?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Make it easy to break this stuff down. I know.
Pete Holmes
And it's a pleasure.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It actually is. It's very satisfying.
Pete Holmes
Feel great.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But it. But then, but then Val goes, haha, yes, I'll do that with you. You know what I mean?
Pete Holmes
Yeah. And she also does join me in my initiative.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, she'll join you in the relationship. Well, that's good because then it's sort of like you're. You're inviting her to join in sort of this, well, look thing with you. And it's a funny voice you need.
Pete Holmes
To make highly sensitive people that are bad at confrontation need bits. That's why I love that.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
They're protective.
Pete Holmes
They're protective. And it's funny to just be like, all right, all right. Have you noticed that this light is left on all night a lot?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right, right.
Pete Holmes
And then you're. What are you saying?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It was quite stinky, Darling, could we do something about that for a reason?
Pete Holmes
Yeah, Some people run it while they're doing the damage.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Seems you forgot to feed the dog this morning, my love. Seems you forgot.
Pete Holmes
I seem to remember somebody saying that they would help with your.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, Slipped your mind?
Pete Holmes
Did it slip your mind?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Did it slip your mind? Are you up the duff, darling?
Pete Holmes
You put me in the pud.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You put me in the pudding club.
Pete Holmes
I'm in the bud.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm in the pudding club.
Pete Holmes
So you were in a seven of ten. You were ticked. Tick tock. Wave of pandemic.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
So then I, so then I was like, okay, what brings? What makes me excited? What make whatever sounds like a bit.
Pete Holmes
People stopping a bit. And you put it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
So you're in, you're in the depths.
Pete Holmes
Of COVID That's another one. The bit stops.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, honestly, when you're on a podcast, in the bit stops.
Pete Holmes
Okay, you have two ideas. I want to say I love you before they're ready and when you're on a podcast, in the bit stop.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Thank you so much. This is, this is the only reason I came here today to workshop.
Pete Holmes
Look, you're new ideas, giving your time. I'm not going to use them.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Thank you. Yeah, great.
Pete Holmes
Go on.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm going to have you sign something to make sure.
Pete Holmes
Something great.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But yeah, the what were.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
So then I was going, okay, what makes me. What brings me joy. What brings, you know, people that I love. Joy. Maybe I'll just start doing accents online. So I post a couple videos, little accents here and there and stuff. And people were like, oh, these are good. I was like, oh, okay, I'll do more. And then I was watching. I was doing like the Thing that I think a lot of people did during the pandemic, which was like, watching franchises of things, like all of the Harry Potters, all of the. The Marvel movies, all, like, marathons of, you know, the sequels of things. And I was, you know, I was franchising franchise it, as they say.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And I was watching the Pirates of the Caribbean and Kieran Knightley's, like, mouth in that. I. I just was, like, her acting the way she normally speaks, and then her acting mouth are different mouths.
Pete Holmes
Oh, wow.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And. And Johnny Depp in that movie, too, was doing weird stuff with his mouth when he was acting. And then when you see him in person, in interviews and stuff, you're like, he's not doing that. So I was like, oh, that's kind of funny. A lot of actors, like, use their mouths to, like, really mean it. And I was like, oh, that's kind of a funny concept. So I made a video that was, like, mouth acting.
Pete Holmes
Yes. And can you show me what Kira does? She go, but I'd love to see it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. She'll be like, you know, Alexi, like, she'll do, like, oh, like, she'll snarl. But then an interview. She sort of talks like that and whatever, you know, like, she's not doing it like that. And then, like, Johnny Depp in that movie was going like, you know, like, as Jack Sparrow. Yeah. So I was like, oh, that's funny that people do that. And then, you know, the more the. Once you realize it, now that I've pointed this out to you, every movie you watch now, there are certain people, like, Emma Stone is a mouth actor. Like, there are certain.
Pete Holmes
Mouth actor.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
There are certain people that are just mouth actors.
Pete Holmes
Drew Bear.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Drew Bear. Famously Drew Barrymore.
Pete Holmes
Yes. But she does.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And that's my Drew. Yeah, she does normally talk like that, but when she is acting, too, it gets exacerbated. It does. So I made a video that was, like, sort of pointing that out, and people were like, that. I really relate to that. That's funny. And so it got a ton of views. And then it became. That was like my thing was like, math acting, which sort of turned into impressions. And. But, like, my page has always sort of been like, that's the. My niche is, like, impressions and accents and stuff. Yeah. So I have no. I mean, I'm an actor. Like a comedian. Writer. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Like, that's what I do to dig a little deeper. Did you. At some point. And I'd love to hear about the process. Go. Okay. Okay. There's some wind behind My sail.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Moving in a direction.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Got my boyfriend since I was 19.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Got some movement here.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Now I'm gonna research how to, like, add fuel to the fire. Did you, like, look into thumbnails and titles and how frequently you should be posting? Are you conscious of that?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I've looked into that. I think it got to a point where it was so unpredictable. Like, I just, like, the algorithm is so fickle that I just. I don't. I just don't think. And maybe this is cynical of me. I just don't think that, like, is a thing. Like, I don't think it works.
Pete Holmes
That's really funny.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You know what I mean?
Pete Holmes
I do know what you mean.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I do think probably, like, the thumbnails of it all, whatever. But I guess I just was like, I don't. I don't need to. I don't want to put all my eggs in the Internet basket. I guess I'll say.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And like, a lot of the kind of, like, I. I don't know, like, I just kept making videos and just like, posting more and more. And that's. That's so. I don't know, I didn't really get too into, like, the nitty gritty of it. Some people hire an editor. No, I haven't.
Pete Holmes
They're editing.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm not there editing.
Pete Holmes
She's out there editing.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I edit. I also, I just have. I mean, I feel like with comedy, so much of it is you just, you, you know, your own style of comedy. So it's hard to, like, hand something over to someone and then have them edit it.
Pete Holmes
Yes, for sure.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You know, So I don't know. At least for me. At least for my videos. So.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And sometimes I've done little, like collaborations with people or brand deals or something where I just hand them raw footage and they edit it and it just never quite feels.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
The same.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. So, yeah, I really like. Because there did come a point where I was like, okay, I can jump over into the Internet. Internet thing and become like a straight up influencer person. Really go like, you know, put two feet into that. And I just was like, I. I'm an actor, I'm a writer. Like, that's what I would rather be doing and focusing on. And so the Internet's almost. At this point, I see it sort of as like, if I have a fun idea, if something really strikes me, then I'll post it.
Pete Holmes
Like, Rob Delaney.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Do you know Rob?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I do know Rob. I mean, I don't know him, but I Know of him?
Pete Holmes
Yeah, the Internet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you friends with Rob?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You know Rob? Do you know Rob?
Pete Holmes
I. Well, Rob moved, I believe. I used to see Rob.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
He's in the UK now.
Pete Holmes
He's in the uk, but he was in Home sweet Home Alone, which a lot of people saw.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
So many people.
Pete Holmes
Better than the original, as was.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
The.
Pete Holmes
People said that.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
People said that.
Pete Holmes
Macau Culkin said that.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, famously.
Pete Holmes
He said, they beat me. That's what he said. I don't know why.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
With the hands too.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, He. He never does that. He never does the hands.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And. And he did it.
Pete Holmes
He saw Home Sweet Home Alone and.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
He said he did it.
Pete Holmes
We were alone.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
We're off.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
So you don't have any call.
Pete Holmes
He's always alone.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He. And at home.
Pete Holmes
And I went up to him and he went, home sweet Home alone. Ah, you beat me.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, my God. He said, you beat me.
Pete Holmes
He said to me. But he meant the movie.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Wow.
Pete Holmes
You beat me.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, my God.
Pete Holmes
Said, wait, do it again, he said.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And he said, no. And.
Pete Holmes
And then Kieran came in and then.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
He was like, now I can't do it with Kieran, cuz you can't have a witness to that.
Pete Holmes
No, no, no. Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Kieran was like, yeah. Hey, look at the. Are you saying what?
Pete Holmes
Yeah, titties floating in the. With the.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I bet Karen Culkin would know what we're talking about with the floating boobs. Yeah, I think everybody would.
Pete Holmes
Of course. It's my Karen Culkin.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
No titties floating. Yeah. Go yourself.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
He does do that.
Pete Holmes
He does. Yeah. I'm not the only one that noticed that. This is my Kieran Culkin impression.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's really good.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, you.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's funny. That's funny.
Pete Holmes
I tried.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's funny. This guy.
Pete Holmes
I tried for a long time to do Jeremy Irons too, where he's like, oh, dad, it's gonna be. Oh, tight.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Kendall Roy.
Pete Holmes
Yeah. And off.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, I think it's so funny that he is the voice of McDonald's.
Pete Holmes
He is. Is.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes.
Pete Holmes
Get yourself a Big Mac. No, I haven't heard it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
He. He literally was like, big Mac quarter pounder. Yeah. And he goes at the end of the.
Pete Holmes
Did it happen after succession? Cuz in succession, he sort of famously eats McDonald's.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, yeah, he does. But yeah, I guess they were like, let's r. Let's take this thing all the way home. And they were like, now he's the voice of McDonald's.
Pete Holmes
He did a lot of commercials.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. But he. But I just think it's so fun. Funny that they haven't. They got him to go. I'm loving it.
Pete Holmes
I mean, yeah, it's like getting Trent Reznor to be like.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's what I'm saying.
Pete Holmes
So cool.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It's like. Like this guy who. Yeah, I just am amazed by that. Meanwhile, you know, meanwhile, I'll do it.
Pete Holmes
I'd do it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'll do any commercial. Any commercial. And I've done it.
Pete Holmes
I wouldn't do a McDonald's commercial.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I.
Pete Holmes
Okay, that's me.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay.
Pete Holmes
These are the ABCs in me now. They want me know now.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, they're gonna. They're gonna call you.
Pete Holmes
Hey, we need super bowl cut to me and Val being like, people are buying it anyway. I mean, it might as well be me.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It might as well be you.
Pete Holmes
So. Yeah, I'll do it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay.
Pete Holmes
I'll eat a fry.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Great. I'd love a fry. Especially in my current state. I'll eat anything at this point.
Pete Holmes
Let me ask you something. If. If you got poop on your hand, would you just wipe it it with some Kleenex and just be like, I'm done, I'm good. Or would you want water involved? That's what a bidet is. That's what a tushy bidet is. Tushy bidet is here to change and upgrade your toilet game in the new year. Me in January. I'm like, I'm going to eat more veggies and hike me in February. I just want my to stop burning when I go to the toilet. And now the tushy bidet is here. And you, if it is cleaning your butt in the way that I'm going to say it, the Lord intended with water. You got to spray it away, get it clean just like it was crap on your hand. You got to get a power blaster on there. It's like dry leaves out of your driveway with a high powered hose. A tushy bidet uses a precise stream of clean water to get your butt tip top. Especially now that it's going to be spring. You got to clean down there. Come on. Spring cleaning tushy is easy, it's fast, and once you try it, you'll never go back. I thought it would feel weird. Or if I have a hard time finding my B hole. Nope. Bullseye. First try, it feels A. Okay. A stands for S. And the first time it hits it. No. No issue. And now there's no going back. Makes pooping any other way feel primitive backwards and stone Age. This is like a midday shower and in five seconds after every poo the way God intended. They have lots of different models. The classic permanent bidet that attaches to your existing toilet. Which is what I have and love. And we just got the Tushy Travel which is amazing, portable and travels with you discreetly so there's no more compromising your number two game when you're on the move. Tushy bidets are easy to install. I'm talking less than 10 minutes. And those 10 minutes will change your life. Get a real clean bottom and help keep away hemorrhoids, UTIs and yeast infections. And and step your butt into the future with a science fiction level of clean with tushy. Just sit down and relax, turn the knob and spray a precise stream of fresh water at your butt. Every hello Tushy bidet comes with a 30 day hassle free return and a 12 month warranty. So stay shower fresh now that it's spring spring cleaning and join the 2 million butts who've already switched to tushy. For a limited time our listeners get 10% off their first bidet when you use code weird at checkout. The that's 10 off your first bidet at hellotushy.com weird with promo code weird. Hello Tushy T U S h-y.com weird with promo code weird and tell them that we sent you and thank me later. So how talk to me about it. I'm stoked.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Thanks.
Pete Holmes
May I tell you something?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Sorry. Pete. Explaining pregnancy here.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's okay.
Pete Holmes
It's the realest thing you'll ever do.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I am starting to sense that in the best way. Yeah. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Oh yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Meaning it's the opposite of the Internet.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. It connects you to. Yeah. Well that's what's funny too is that I just like this now happening. I'm like. I don't see everything. A lot of things seem unimportant.
Pete Holmes
Yes.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
In comparison. And it puts things into perspective in a pretty pretty gorgeous way.
Pete Holmes
And then it becomes play like you're doing this and do you know the Jen?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I do.
Pete Holmes
Do you share that? No.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I don't know.
Pete Holmes
No, you don't have to.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I might keep it to myself.
Pete Holmes
Yourself? There's no mistake.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Is that weird?
Pete Holmes
No.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I've not really talked publicly about loving it.
Pete Holmes
Don't talk about the gender of your.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Dead and loving it.
Pete Holmes
You're a disappoint.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
They should.
Pete Holmes
You don't have the killer instinct.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
They should do that on snl. Did they do that already?
Pete Holmes
What?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That. That.
Pete Holmes
The succession.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Like, someone's got to make of fun of him doing McDonald's.
Pete Holmes
I agree. It's us.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Maybe it's us, and maybe we just did it and that was it.
Pete Holmes
It's us.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I think that's it. And we can kind of sign seal, deliver, and that bit is done. Or we could take it to the max. Take it further.
Pete Holmes
Tell me, how far along are you? Are you open?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm halfway through.
Pete Holmes
Halfway.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm halfway.
Pete Holmes
It goes so fast. I mean, it also goes very slow.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It's weird.
Pete Holmes
It's like raising a child.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes.
Pete Holmes
I shouldn't have said that. I should know it. How's your experience?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No, no, it's true. Like, the beginning goes very slowly because you're. I was not. Well, you know, at the beginning, you're like. The first trimester is like, whoa. And then. And then it goes fast. Yeah, you're like, whoa. How did. How did I get halfway through already?
Pete Holmes
Sorry. I'm excited for you.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Thank you. Like, I'm excited.
Pete Holmes
I don't want to be in advice mode, but it's just like. It sounds like you're already doing it. It's just like, green light, all of it. My favorite. My favorite thing that we actually used. There were two things that we used for the birth. One was drink while you pour. So if your husband is helping you, he needs to also help himself. If you're napping, he needs to nap. You're snacking, he needs to snack. Don't be a martyr. Drink while you pour and then let the monkey do it. Which is a weird one. Have you heard, let the monkey do it?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No. What's that?
Pete Holmes
It's. I mean, to me, it's just like, we're. We're primates. Like, own it and let the monkey part of you.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
Squat out that baby.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure. Like, yeah.
Pete Holmes
Get.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Don't get feral.
Pete Holmes
Don't be Downton Abbey about it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay.
Pete Holmes
Be, like, real. Yeah, monkey, do it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm kind of excited. In my family, we've always said, you know, let your lizard brain take over.
Pete Holmes
There you go.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Like, use your lizard brain.
Pete Holmes
That's it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
And it knows what to do. And I think this is one of, like, when it comes to your wedding night, like, or the first time you have sex, I don't think you can. Can let the lizard brain do it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No, probably not.
Pete Holmes
You know what I mean?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Like, there are some technicalities to that pregnancy. I think you can.
Pete Holmes
You can go into a gear.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Are you going to do epi? D?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I I think, yeah, I, I've got.
Pete Holmes
You don't have a birth plan.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm working with a doula on my birth plan.
Pete Holmes
That doula is going to try to talk you into a natural childbirth. I'm going to tell you.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I, I, I, if it's sunset or.
Pete Holmes
Something like that, it's adjacent. Definitely tell you about how you're going to want to be, be there for the biggest day. Yeah, we were planning on doing that. And then 58 hours in or 50 hours into our labor, Val's like, give me that. And it was the best. It was like we both had a.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Chords, you know, I think I'm just like, whatever can make it like I'm not a hero and I'm not interested in being, I don't need to be a hero in my birth. Whatever will make it, you know, I would like it to be. I mean, look, it's never going to go the way that you plan. Like I know that. That's what everyone tells me already is like, like you make a plan and God laughs. Like, you know, you, you think you know what it's going to be like and then it's different. But if I can make it a little easier for myself.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, why not?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'll tell you this little less pain. Why not?
Pete Holmes
If I was doing it, I would get two epidurals for sure. And that's not to be scary. I'm just green light the, like we've got the technology. We have the technology for every woman. Look, full respect. And I could talk out the other side of my mouth about the virtues of a natural childbirth.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
But for every woman in Beverly Hills, or actually I should have said Venice or Santa Monica.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
Squatt out in a pool and like screaming.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
There's so many women like the echoes of generations of women that are like. You mean you had something that would have.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right. Excuse me.
Pete Holmes
What's that?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Why did he not do that?
Pete Holmes
Damp cloth candles.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Well, you had help. They're like dying in childbirth.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, you said.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No, that's the thing. That's the thing is I'm like, what's, what's seeming to be what's already great about pregnancy is that it's so different for every person and, and like whatever works for you.
Pete Holmes
That's right. Well, I should say.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And that's a problem on the Internet though.
Pete Holmes
Is that what's right for you?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, there, there, there are very judgmental people, especially with, with pregnancy etc online and everything is scrutinized and whatever, whatever.
Pete Holmes
It doesn't stop, by the way. I don't know what I know the micros. The micro judgments.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
And I'm not even mad at it. But parents. What I wasn't ready for. And I'm excited for you to see. There's all these little flexes.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
I'm trying to write a joke about. About the, the lies we tell. Tell you how old you are and in like your 20s, you lie to your doctor about how many drinks you've had.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes.
Pete Holmes
And after you have a baby, you lie to other parents about how much screen time your kids get.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
That becomes the new lie that has.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Been all over my like for you page lately. People talking about screen time. I mean, there's a lot of shaming around like, you know, people using devices, whatever. That's the thing. I'm like, I'm not interested. I will not be sharing anything about parenting on social media.
Pete Holmes
Free.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm gonna be. It's gonna be a parent free zone for me in terms of content.
Pete Holmes
Cuz I love it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Truly. Like. With everything you share about par. Especially as a mom. I mean, look everybody. But yeah. It's. It is a can of worms. Exactly.
Pete Holmes
You become an avatar for their mom. People get real touchy about it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Real touchy.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. I mean anytime kids are involved on. Right. Of course it's like sensitive subject. But it's. Yeah. I'm just like, I don't. And that's what's great about the Internet too is that you can share as much as you want. You can share as little as you want.
Pete Holmes
Yeah. And that's, you know, going back to the Internet being great. Those, the memes that Val and I send each other about parenting are very, very, very, very, very, very funny.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Very, very funny.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I think people really find, I mean, and that's such a huge niche is like parent stuff. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
There'll be a time when you're with. With your newborn and you're on a yoga ball and you have no connection to the outside world.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
And you'll jump on there for five minutes and you'll just see other people going through that too.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
And I think, I'm not saying that's as good as obviously being with people, but being with people is very good for postpartum.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Well, when you're, when you're feeling isolated. When it's. Yeah. Yeah. I honestly, I mean, also I'm saying like, I'm not sharing anything about parenting. Famous last words. Because as soon as that Becomes like, my life. Obviously, that's going to be my lived experience. And so it's like, then I'm going to want to share things, you know.
Pete Holmes
Wanting you to do it because it would be funny. It's funny.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
So funny. What's. It's one of those things where you go like, oh, I see why they make so many movies and TV shows about this is because you do see, like, kids there. There's just so much drama. Like, Lila was sick and like, we're on a text chain with families that know she's sick, but we want to go to the coffee shop, and you're just, like, living in drama.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. And.
Pete Holmes
And it's funny. It's funny when the parent who's on the chain sees you at the coffee shop and they know your kid is sick and you're like, yeah, right.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You're like. I mean, it is something also that I'm learning is that it seems like kids are sick all the time.
Pete Holmes
You'll be sick for about three years.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. I was going to say, I think I need to start preparing now. Yeah. As soon as they go to preschool, they're sick all the time. You're dead. Yeah. Okay. As long as I. I mean, I.
Pete Holmes
Know that now and it's fine.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
And the other. Sorry, I say this every time, but the other great piece of advice. Rich Blomquist, who's Christian Shaw's husband, said, just pretend you're camping. And for some reason, that really helped the first four weeks, because, you know.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It'S pretend you're camping because you're surviving, essentially.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And if you're.
Pete Holmes
If you sleep poorly when you're camping, you're like, we're camping, we're camping.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
If you think it's your life, you'll hate it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's kind of genius.
Pete Holmes
But if you're like, we're camping, we're.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Just on a camping trip for a little while.
Pete Holmes
You're on a camping trip.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, my God. I'm. I'm gonna take that.
Pete Holmes
And also, yes, I think. Think keep pen and paper handy. I'm not saying it's the most inspired time you'll have, but there's something about interrupting your sleep that I think is actually a creativity hack.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Really? Have you ever noticed, like, you're going slightly insane?
Pete Holmes
Yeah, you're going a little insane. But there were, like, in this house where Lela was a newborn, envelopes where I just write down bits, and they became, like, really great bits.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Because it's a little bit like being Hungover. You have no filter. You give zero. Fuck. So you're just like, saying what you think.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure. So I feel like when I've in the past, when I've been a little high.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, you're sort of.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Because you're a little bit. Just out of the.
Pete Holmes
You're right. You're a little high.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You're floating a little bit above kind of the norm.
Pete Holmes
Yes.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
So your brain's kind of. Yeah, but I. That makes a lot of sense to me. I mean, we'll see how it goes.
Pete Holmes
We'll see how it goes. I mean.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, my God.
Pete Holmes
Who knows?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Dude, I'm in for a wild ride.
Pete Holmes
Yeah. Toads.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Is there anything that we. That I. What did I write down that or what did you write down that? We were like, oh, we need to circle back to that.
Pete Holmes
Powers.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, Austin Powers. Oh, yeah. Wait, but there was something else about Austin Powers that I was supposed to talk about.
Pete Holmes
Floating.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, my video. I made a video. Okay, so Hugh Jackman once. Because I was like, I really don't want to forget this because the greatest. The greatest showman himself, Hugh Jackman. Who? I love.
Pete Holmes
Hugh deserves better than that.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I love. I love to do impressions of Hugh Jackman singing because he. He. I will never do him speaking only singing. Have you seen Les Mis?
Pete Holmes
No.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Then this won't make any sense to you, but have you. You've heard him sing?
Pete Holmes
I think so.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
He's like. Like that's how he sings.
Pete Holmes
Really?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes. Have you not.
Pete Holmes
Okay, I haven't heard of.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
There's a. I've done this bit forever where. Yeah, okay. The inlay, Miz. It's Russell Crowe and him together. And Russell Crowe, like, is. Is the lead singer of a band, but, like, can't really sing. And so he's like prisoner Fulton 601. Like, that's how he sings. Like it's hollow. Do you know what that means? And then Hugh Japan goes. It means I'm free. Yeah. And I love to do that bit.
Pete Holmes
Okay, I'm gonna play a little bit. He's like, I don't know if it was worth making this episode not ad. Viable, but.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right.
Pete Holmes
We can just cut that out.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, yeah, you can just. I can sing over that part. And then we'll. People will believe that it's Hugh Jackman singing. And it won't be actually. You know, and it'll be. Be protected by a. The parody clause or something.
Pete Holmes
Oh, yeah. If we. If you did that.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, we could le. We'll have legal look into it.
Pete Holmes
I'll Just get that email that says it's been flagged.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sorry about that.
Pete Holmes
No, we'll take it out.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But now, you know, that's how Hugh Jackson. Yeah, his. His. His vibrato is unique. Unique. Anyway, I get. I. I consume a lot of content surrounding Hugh Jackman, but he has this video or an interview where he talks about certain words he uses to, like, get into different accents that he's doing or different characters that he's doing. And I was like, oh, that's so cool, because I definitely do that for impressions. Like, I have little. Because what we were talking about earlier, like touchstones. Exactly. And so I made a whole video about, like, my touchstones for different, like, characters and impressions and stuff. But I think that's so interesting, isn't it?
Pete Holmes
Me, too. I want to hear. I want to know some of them, but I don't want to put you on the spot. Mine for Steven Wright is Caesarean cesarean.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, that's good.
Pete Holmes
My friend had a cesarean section. You can't tell. But every once in a while when he goes out the house, he leaves through the window.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
The window.
Pete Holmes
The window.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I love when people use their tongue for D. Window. Yeah. That's sort of a Jersey ish thing. The window. I love that.
Pete Holmes
Trying to think of my Pacino is just. I don't have one.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. You've been kind of doing Pacino in.
Pete Holmes
And out today during this episode.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Well, that's what happens. Do you go to Pacino especially, like, if you start doing Trump, I'll be on stage and I'm like, yeah. Said that like Trump.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
It's in a funny.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Way.
Pete Holmes
Like, I mean, it's like, funny.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Literally, right? He is funny.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Exactly. He's got a silly way of speaking, but Pacino. Yeah. I don't know.
Pete Holmes
Mary Elizabeth Kelly, how are you? Everything he says, he's like, unveiling.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
He's pulling away a silk napkin. What do you think of this?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
A little pause.
Pete Holmes
Oh. Oh, now he's old. He doesn't sound like that anymore.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No, he used.
Pete Holmes
You know, I. I can't do him now.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Met him.
Pete Holmes
You met me.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I met. I've. We've met before. We've met before, Al.
Pete Holmes
I can't believe I forgot that.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And he.
Pete Holmes
I find that hard to.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
He actually kind of still sounds like that.
Pete Holmes
Do I?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes, you still sound like that way, sir. And he was a word. He's word.
Pete Holmes
Word up.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And you know what? He's got some young kids.
Pete Holmes
Yes, he does. I know. I have a joke about it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And I bet they.
Pete Holmes
People don't like it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You know, I think that's.
Pete Holmes
I think that's funny because they love Pachin so much.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
They love the.
Pete Holmes
Now I got a couple of little rascals running around. I show them my movies on film.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Do you. Do you have Pacino in your. In your set?
Pete Holmes
When I do that joke?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
It does so poorly that I have to be like, I do not like that joke.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And then they like that. And then you. Right, okay.
Pete Holmes
Then they, like.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You judge yourself as Pacino.
Pete Holmes
Judge it as Pacino.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
But it's weird. You give that many great performances. People don't want to hear the. You're gonna.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I know. Well, people put him on a. You know, it's a huge human.
Pete Holmes
I'm just a human.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You're just a human, Al.
Pete Holmes
But I get a floor. The four Seasons when I stay there. A whole floor.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Does he? Of course. Of course. Of course.
Pete Holmes
Of course.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, that's good. I'm just throwing a little, like.
Pete Holmes
Oh, he's always getting goosed.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Yeah, he is. He loves a little ad lib, it seems.
Pete Holmes
You know, he loves a lib.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But I. I guess for me, I always think so. For me, you're.
Pete Holmes
You're keeping the episode on track right.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Now because I'm just like.
Pete Holmes
And you're like, all right, keeping it on track.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But it's so fun, isn't it, just to, like, take a little. Just to sort of live as somebody else for a little bit.
Pete Holmes
Just be Pachin.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I love to. I. I think it's great that you're Picheen. And I think people shouldn't be afraid to just slip, as I do in this video. Just go into something else for a little bit. Go into somebody else. Be somebody else.
Pete Holmes
Somebody.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Do a little something else.
Pete Holmes
What's your touchstone? What's your favorite? Because I love your Emmett Thompson.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, thank you. I love her. I'm trying to think for. For I might just do her mouth.
Pete Holmes
That's it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's it. What? So I guess maybe Z. Thompson.
Pete Holmes
I. I'm very bad with actors. She's in love, actually, right?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
She goes, yes, but you've made a.
Pete Holmes
Fool out of me.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes, but you made a fool.
Pete Holmes
You've made the life that I live quite foolish. And then, Alec, I'm a fool.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'm a fool. When she goes. My favorite quote from that movie of her is when she. She goes, would you stay always knowing life's going to be a little bit worse?
Pete Holmes
Would you cut and run?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, chills that is. Oh, what a tragic character.
Pete Holmes
She goes in the bed in the bedroom and cries alone. I'm dead.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Sobbing dead.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Mitchell plays that movie corny as at.
Pete Holmes
Certain points and weird that that storyline.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. You know what's the most realistic part of that movie is that she and Hugo Grant play siblings because I do impressions of Hugh Grant all the time. And he also has. His face is sort of like that and they're very. That is. I forgot that that's from that movie. And that's also excellent. But he. Every time I do impressions of the two of them, people are like. They're like the male, female versions of each other. Okay, perfect. That they're.
Pete Holmes
Put them next to other.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Well, I did a Love. Actually all of the impressions of Love actually. You know, the Karen Knightley of it all. That movie is full of mouth actors, as they say.
Pete Holmes
But not Martin Freeman. He's hard to do. No one knows.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I've never done Martin Freeman and. And he's been a request.
Pete Holmes
He's kind of like a. Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
He. He always seems to be sort of caught off guard, you know. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Like.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, I'll have to. I'll have to work on him. I've never even consider.
Pete Holmes
There's one line in the original Office where he goes, don't. Don't do that. I can't do it. It's higher than I wanted to be.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I love. Don't do that British Office. I love Ricky Gervais.
Pete Holmes
Great.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That guy's funny.
Pete Holmes
Unfair.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It is unfair. I know. Especially as that character. I'm like, damn, that. Really? No one.
Pete Holmes
Well, you know.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Well, I do love Steve Carell as the American version. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
That's over.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Very different.
Pete Holmes
I think we had to pick one that's over.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
We don't. We don't.
Pete Holmes
You don't?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No.
Pete Holmes
But that style. What Ricky Gervais did, I don't want to take like Lisa Kudrow is also kind of doing that flavor similar like the Comeback.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You're right.
Pete Holmes
I call it so humor where they go like. And, you know, maybe I'll just take that down.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. That is with a.
Pete Holmes
So Ricky Race is also doing like.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And they don't like an ellipses sort of. Yeah. I never put that together. But yeah, that's true. Lisa say that.
Pete Holmes
And. And Megan Salter, who I love to death is. Is in a great.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
A funny, funny, funny person.
Pete Holmes
Funny lady. Megan took the Gervais Ball, I think and.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh yeah, a lot of people took. Well, like the Flubby kind of like yeah.
Pete Holmes
You know, but I think that's who she is. I don't think she's doing him. I think someone like him showed how funny a person.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, oh, Megan is doing a completely.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, she's doing Megan.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
She's doing Megan.
Pete Holmes
She's doing Megan.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But what was. Oh. I was gonna say. Oh, the Emma Thompson. Yes. Of it all. But I was gonna say my favorite, like, hook to get into an impression is Winona Ryder and saying magnets.
Pete Holmes
Magnets.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, because she says she's like, you know, obviously very soft spoken and, like, her eyes are huge, but she has these. Her S's sound, like very soft. And she says magnets.
Pete Holmes
Magnets.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, Magnets.
Pete Holmes
Magnets.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
So that's. I don't know.
Pete Holmes
I love that.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I like being Winona. Cuz she's.
Pete Holmes
Oh, it's fant. You know, it's cozy. It's like. It's a mug of coffee.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, she's very. And she's sort of, like, weird. She's like, very different for me, but. Yeah, that's how I get into announs.
Pete Holmes
That's funny. You're making. Just for the fun of it. It's like Jeff Bridges is a line from Seabiscuit where he goes, I just think this horse has a lot of heart. Heart.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, my God.
Pete Holmes
But it's not quite right.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's such a good. Josh is.
Pete Holmes
Josh. Josh.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I've heard you do him before.
Pete Holmes
I think my brother Bo, which is brilliant.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You know what? And it's the tongue in cheek.
Pete Holmes
It is.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It is The.
Pete Holmes
You're literally has a bite of apple in his mouth and he's going, so right. I just think this horse has a lot of heart.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, my God. That's really very good. Well, yeah, yeah, the.
Pete Holmes
Well, I was Lebowski.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Do my thing, you know.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And he's Irish.
Pete Holmes
Oh, and. And Morgan Freeman is Andy Dufrain. Oh, yeah. That was always my touchstone.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's a good one for me.
Pete Holmes
We're just talking touchstones.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, we. We're talking Dutch stones.
Pete Holmes
Andy Dufrain.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's really good.
Pete Holmes
Oh, people say Andy didn't find his way with the sisters. Oh, my God.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's very good. Excellent. No, it's very good.
Pete Holmes
It's hard. Say I liked Andu.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It's the. It's the lower you get. It's the whisper. It devolves into a whisper.
Pete Holmes
It does.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You know what's the saddest thing for me in all of this is that I. So whenever I do an impression, I, like, get actively Sad if I don't. If I can't do it perfectly, if.
Pete Holmes
I can't be the person, I just can't do it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No. There are some days, and there are some people that I'm like. They're so anatomically, facially, voice different from me. I just can't do it.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But there's so many impressions of men that I want to do, and I just can't do. Do it because my voice can't go low enough.
Pete Holmes
Yes.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Like, I just can't. I won't ever be able to do it accurately.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And like, there are some people, some male men that I do impressions of that, you know, you can get the essence basically of them or, like, their face or, like, silly things that they would say or whatever, but I can never really, like, really get them. And that irks me, drives me mad.
Pete Holmes
I'm with you. Because an impression is either right or wrong.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
And then it's like. And, you know, people like John C. Reilly is coming to mind, and, you know, you can do that. That perfectly.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right.
Pete Holmes
I think I did him to him once, and he was very humorlessly, kind of like. I don't. I don't think that's what I sound like. I appreciate the effort, but I don't think. That doesn't sound like me.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
To me, that is. That. That is so good. And he is. He is one that I desperately wish I could do.
Pete Holmes
Oh, really?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And I have. I've done him, but I'm don't. I'm not actually doing him. You know what I mean?
Pete Holmes
I'm leaning on the fact that my voice is.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Is deeper than. Because.
Pete Holmes
Up here, he's Kerm.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You're Kermit. Kermit.
Pete Holmes
And then if you go here, you're Ray Romano.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Which isn't quite right.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. There. I've also done a couple videos, and this is a fun thing, too, like morphing one celebrity into another. And that is actually what I did for my SNL audition.
Pete Holmes
No way.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
However many years ago. But the.
Pete Holmes
Still waiting to hear.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. I don't think I booked it. Oh, no. I don't think I booked it.
Pete Holmes
I mean, I'm not even kidding. That's. That's a. Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I went to Nueva York. I did the screen test. I did the whole thing. I did. Yes. And I didn't get it. Oh, no, that's okay.
Pete Holmes
You went all the way. You did the audition on the stage.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
With people not laughing in the dark. With the people not laughing in the dark. No, I did expect.
Pete Holmes
I Don't care that you didn't get it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I wish I had. It was.
Pete Holmes
You did that? That's incredible.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It was really a very, very intense experience. And I was like, I. I mean, I've been obsessed with SNL since I was a little kid. Like. Like, I've. You know, it's obviously an extremely iconic show. So even just being there, like, even just being at 30 Rock and doing the whole thing, I was like, this is the coolest thing I've ever done. But, yes, extremely intimidating, you know.
Pete Holmes
But you did the merging impressions.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, yeah, I did. I did. Like, I basically did just, like a whole. I think I did 20 different celebrities and sort of wrote this, like, monologue that kind of, like, morphed one into the other and, like, basically finding little similarities and, like. Yeah. Which was cool.
Pete Holmes
Wait, you talked about it while you were doing.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, it was like. I don't know even know how it started. It was like, I love doing impressions of Jennifer Coolidge. And then it was like. But when I start doing her lips, I start wanting to talk, like, so and so. And then I go into so and so.
Pete Holmes
Whatever.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. So that was fun.
Pete Holmes
How do you do, Jennifer?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh. Oh, hi. Yeah, hi. Oh, hi.
Pete Holmes
I'm so glad I asked.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Oh, wow. Wow. Oh. Oh, yeah. A lot of that. But the thing is, you know how we were saying, like, comedy comes in trends and waves and stuff?
Pete Holmes
People got wise to it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
People are. People are. They're done with J Cool's.
Pete Holmes
Oh, they don't.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Impressions. We love J. Cool forever. We will always love Jennifer Coolidge. She's iconic and I'm obsessed with her. But I think too many people got good at it.
Pete Holmes
Well, you know what I mean. Usually comes up when we talk with people that do impressions. Impressions, Impression. It's a weird thing to steal an impression because an impression is a steal. You're stealing it from the person, but.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sometimes you're trying to be as accurate as possible to the actual person.
Pete Holmes
But they are the first little steal.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Exactly.
Pete Holmes
Once you have it, it is kind of easy to steal it. So, oh, I can't do it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And you go, oh, you found the phrases, or whatever.
Pete Holmes
Now I can do it. And everyone's doing it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, well, that's the whole thing. It's. It's. You're mimicking and, like. So then people mimic you.
Pete Holmes
It's a mimic gets mimicked.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. But I'm also like, hey, I love that. And everyone's always like, how should I get into impressions? Whatever. I'm like, just do it just, like, start doing it.
Pete Holmes
Like, it has.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I don't know.
Pete Holmes
Wouldn't you say it has a lot to do with just believing and, like, who cares? Like, I'm just gonna try. Yeah, you just have to green light.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You have to put the ego aside and just try. Because a lot of times people will be like, try it. And then they'll go, that was so bad. And it's like, well, you know. And this is the thing I will say. I do think that I was like. I do think it's literally, like, I inherited this ability, like, to mimic from, like, my grandfather used to, like, do voices, and he used to, like, imitate bird sounds and stuff. So I. I really think that I was Gene. I think I was born with, like, an ear for it.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, of course.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But then I. But even from five years ago when I started making videos until now, I've, like, improved. Like, it's all changed and shifted. And I think because people go, do you think I could learn how to do impressions? And I'm like, truthful, I think you can improve upon maybe an innate.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Ability.
Pete Holmes
Right.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You know what I mean?
Pete Holmes
Grow it. Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Well, first of all, I'm flattered that you're even including me. I. I dabble.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Well, giving Connecticut lady, Connecticut Mom. I dabble.
Pete Holmes
I dabble in impressions, but I just want to give respect to a true. And. And we've had other truths on the show.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, but.
Pete Holmes
But, like, I think it's like doing a card trick. You can learn how to do a card trick. The real skill is to lower your heart rate and stay calm while you're doing it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
You're so right.
Pete Holmes
Right. It's the same with playing a song publicly. A lot of people can learn a song. You have to, like, get good at being calm while you're playing.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's so interesting. That's so true. And like. And not, like, actively judging yourself as it's happening. Okay.
Pete Holmes
You miss that note. Hit the next note.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Just. Well, it's like singing, too. Yeah, exactly. Like, I am a singer as well and, like, grew up singing, and. And I think the moment you start going, oh, that I missed a note. That didn't sound good. It's like the whole thing derails.
Pete Holmes
Right.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
But it's also interesting because my style of impressions, like, I really try to truly be as. As I was saying before, I get annoyed if I don't get as close to the real person as possible. But then there are other people who. Their style is more like a Jim Carrey style. Of like. It's almost like a caricature of the person.
Pete Holmes
Boardwalk caricature.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And it's like, you really. And it's so. It's so entertaining, and it is so accurate because you're like, oh, they're. But. But they're. It's almost taking one aspect of a person and blowing it up to, you know, huge. So that's interesting to see, too, is like, there are different styles within impressions that people do. And for me, I don't know, it just. I. I love that style, and I think there's such a place for it because it's so funny a lot of the time. Um, but for me, I just. It really. When someone really can just nail somebody, realistically, I'm like, that really feels like a dance or it's like a magic trick. Yeah, it does feel like a magic trick. Yeah.
Pete Holmes
When Taran Killam did Brad Pitt on this podcast, I lost my mind.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
He's really, really good.
Pete Holmes
And he has a great Mulaney, too.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Does he?
Pete Holmes
His Mulaney is like.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I feel like I've seen that.
Pete Holmes
But he does this version of it where he goes. Yeah. Which is you pitching a joke to John where he doesn't like. He's like, yeah, but he's thinking of something brilliant.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Sure.
Pete Holmes
Your dumb joke is just kind of in the way.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Wow, that's so. That's very Mulaney.
Pete Holmes
It's very Trey Mulaney.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Trelay. And that's a new word.
Pete Holmes
Trelany. Well, let's close. Strong grape. Have you. Oh, I feel like I could talk to you forever, and I'm enjoying this very much, but. Oh, thanks.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
All good things come to us.
Pete Holmes
Well, you got shorts on you. Boobs floating in the Boobs. Booies floating like the. Like the Titanic.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's pretty good.
Pete Holmes
Go again. Yeah, I was trying something.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Right. You can't judge yourself.
Pete Holmes
Exactly. This is what we just talked about. Anything unexplainable. I'm looking for ghosts.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes.
Pete Holmes
I'm looking for psychics. I'm looking for UFOs. I'm looking for nearby death.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
What do you got? What's. What's weird that's happened to you?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I'll tell you of ghost. Well, is it ghost? I don't know. So one day, I was in my old apartment in New York, and I lived in Chelsea and Bragg. It was brag, actually, right across from UCB. So comedy 6 and 8. Always surrounded by comedy. I literally was. I was quite literally, like. I could see the ucb, like, line from my Apartment. So I would, like, decide whether it was too long or not.
Pete Holmes
You just gave me such a style.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I saw a lot of comedy in New York.
Pete Holmes
That line going down those stairs.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, yeah.
Pete Holmes
Form is one of the best. I. I think. Sorry.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I definitely think I saw you.
Pete Holmes
You must have.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
At some point. But, like.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
I think I even knew I was gonna say, like. Oh, I didn't even know I knew. I. Like, we had a feeling of, like, this is magic. This is like a good. Yeah, we're in a good scene.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Never any bad vibes down there.
Pete Holmes
No bad vibes. It was like a weird snowed in summer camp talent show.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah.
Pete Holmes
And you would murder. Speaking of Mulaney, we talked about whiplash. He was like, that feeling when the crowd is arcing towards you like a wave, and they don't even know that you have the. You haven't said the best line yet. So you have your fist and their chins towards you, and you just go.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
What a great feeling, huh?
Pete Holmes
One of the best.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
What? It's a high. Yeah. High.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. I wish I could do a good Mulany.
Pete Holmes
I wish I could, too. This.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I don't think I'll ever be able to.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay. Taran can.
Pete Holmes
Taryn.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And I'm gonna be looking that up.
Pete Holmes
Taran.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Killer can.
Pete Holmes
I'm loving it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Well, luckily, they didn't make him say that I'm loving it part.
Pete Holmes
He didn't do it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
He. He. He might have refused. He might have been like, that's a too far. Yeah, he said off Bridge.
Pete Holmes
Too far.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
A bridge too far. A. Oh, I almost tried to get it a. A Bridges. A Bridges. Jeff Bridges joke into there. It's a Jeff Bridges. Too far.
Pete Holmes
Me too far.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, there you go. Briggs.
Pete Holmes
Look. It's my namesake. Too far. I'm loving it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I wish I could do a Bridges.
Pete Holmes
It's. Maybe.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Maybe I'll be stealing this now that I know that it just is the tongue.
Pete Holmes
Tongue to the side. Hey, Bo, get us to McDonald's, man. I'm an old man.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Okay. The ghost.
Pete Holmes
The ghost.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
This has been the ghost at. @ UCB adjacent apartment.
Pete Holmes
Yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
So I was just, like, laying in my bed asleep, and. And I think I was actually very hungover from something. This was, like, in my early 20s. And I opened my eyes and turned to the right, and I had, like, a mirror on the wall next to my bed. And in the mirror, there was a woman standing over me, only in the mirror, and she was. This sounds crazy.
Pete Holmes
Nobody likes this story. Nobody likes this story.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No. But you know what? I overwhelmed with a feeling of, like, peace and, like, safety. And I felt like she was taking care of me.
Pete Holmes
A benevolent woman.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
A benevolent woman. But she was dressed in, like, Civil War era. This is completely real.
Pete Holmes
She's taking care of you?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes.
Pete Holmes
This lady needs help. She's a woman.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
This is the thing, Pete. Okay.
Pete Holmes
Civil War.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
This is. I'm gonna sound so insane. Okay. This is the thing. I have always felt that in a past life, I died on the battlefield. The Civil War battlefield. Union squad soldier. She was also. She gave me union energy. So we feel good about her.
Pete Holmes
Big Union energy.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Big Union energy. But she was giving sort of like nurse on the battlefield or whatever. Or like, I knew her or she was my wife or something. And I've always felt in a past life that I was hit with, like, a big, like, musket ball thing or whatever those are called.
Pete Holmes
True.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. And that. That's how I died. And I was like, oh, she's my purse. My wife from a past life, and she's watching over for me. And then I closed my eyes and I was like, I'm not scared of her. She was, like, taking care of me. And then in my head, I said, who is that? Like, who. Who was that? Who was watching over me? Some. Some voice was like, it's my daughter. It's my daughter, and I'm Calhoun. And I was like, okay, what does that mean? This sounds great.
Pete Holmes
No, I'm loving it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
And then my mom was doing research for a book. Book about the Civil War. My mom's an author, and she was doing. Writing a book about the Civil War. And she sent me a picture from a graveyard. She didn't know this story. Like, two days later, she sent me a picture from a graveyard.
Pete Holmes
Two days later?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yes. And I think. I don't know where it was, but, like, a Civil War graveyard. And the name Calhoun was on the. The grave. Explain that. Isn't that crazy?
Pete Holmes
Explain that. Explain to Chappelle.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Everybody explain that.
Pete Holmes
How are you going to explain that?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, that's good, too.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, I do. Young Chappelle. I can't do.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's something that's fun, too, is people, as they age, you know, they're different.
Pete Holmes
Well, Keenan Thompson did Old Ch. Or current Chappelle, and he was so good. Anyway, I just. I want to give. Isn't that fascinating to that story?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah. Weird.
Pete Holmes
Best ones ever.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It's weird.
Pete Holmes
That's Calhoun. I'm Calhoun. And that's Calhoun.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Calhoun. And that's my daughter. And I was like, Sick. She's watching over me. And I felt like she was, I don't know, my. My wife from a past life or something, or my sister, like someone who was like, taking care of me, I guess, cuz I was hungover.
Pete Holmes
She was like. She was like, she just saw. Sweating.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I was going to say she wants to pat my forehead. Yeah. So she was. She was watching over me back then. I call her my Civil War ghost.
Pete Holmes
And you haven't seen her since?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No.
Pete Holmes
Yikes.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I know.
Pete Holmes
Although. Okay, don't throw a monkey wrench. If Calhoun was a soldier and that's his daughter, why would she be wearing Civil War garb?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
She. I guess what I was saying was she was wearing Civil War era garb.
Pete Holmes
Oh. Not at a uniform.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
No, she was. She was wearing like a. Like a dress. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pete Holmes
You're writing a song. Yeah, yeah.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It's perfect. Write that down. Oh, my God. That. That was a moment. I will say that made me kind of go, all right, what's. What's.
Pete Holmes
What is this?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
What is this? I. But it was. It was interesting. I've always felt like I did die in the Civil War in the past life.
Pete Holmes
Yeah. Why not?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
So it kind of. It kind of was affirming for me to be honest. Why not?
Pete Holmes
I mean, I hear my father's voice going, more Americans died in the Civil War than all other wars combined.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Really?
Pete Holmes
But it's true. I think it might not be true because both sides were American.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, true.
Pete Holmes
So it's everybody.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, it's everybody. Oh, God. That's too. That's too bad.
Pete Holmes
That's too bad.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
That's too bad. And that's my take on the Civil War. That was too bad.
Pete Holmes
And now, our honorary speaker here at the cemetery at Gettysburg to speak on the tragedies of these times, please welcome poet laureate Mary Elizabeth Kelly. Mary.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Yeah, it was too bad.
Pete Holmes
She appears to be done.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Four score and seven up. Tension. Five years ago.
Pete Holmes
Callback of the century.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Lincoln quote.
Pete Holmes
Best callback of 2025, I'm gonna call it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Wow.
Pete Holmes
And Lisa Gilroy was two days ago, so.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, my gosh. Thank God. I'm after her.
Pete Holmes
Thank God. She's so good.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
She's so good.
Pete Holmes
She's so fun. So are you.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Great person. Great people.
Pete Holmes
Great people. Good, good.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Great people.
Pete Holmes
Love the ground. Beautiful show. They'd get a suggestion.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, no, we can't end on Trump.
Pete Holmes
No, no, Drew Barrymore.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
We'll end on her.
Pete Holmes
Drew, what did you think of 7Up? 10.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Only 10 calories. Amazing.
Pete Holmes
Wow.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
10 grams of sugar or. I don't know. No, 10 calories.
Pete Holmes
10 grams of sugar would be regular, so regular soda?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Actually, probably more like 30.
Pete Holmes
Like 30, yeah. Welcome to LA, baby. We both knew how many grams of sugar in a Coke. Tell me you live in LA, but don't tell me you live in LA. Yeah, it's 33, I think.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
I think you're right.
Pete Holmes
Yeah, I know it's nuts, but it's so good when you have a tummy ache.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Oh, my God, I love a Coke.
Pete Holmes
Go to cocacola.com stereotypes Mary. Do you like the full Mary?
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
It doesn't matter to me. My family calls me Mary Liz. Mary Elizabeth.
Pete Holmes
All right. I rent. I went right to the family. Mary Liz, we're fam. Thank you for doing it.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Thank you for doing it.
Pete Holmes
Would you say, keep it crispy? It's how we end. You don't have to say it in a voice. Let's just hear it in your regular. Or you want to.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Thank you. No, that's. That's refreshing.
Pete Holmes
Just say, keep it crispy in your regular Mary Liz voice.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Keep it crispy.
Pete Holmes
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Thank you.
Pete Holmes
Goodbye.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Goodbye. It.
Guest: Mary Elizabeth Kelly
Episode Date: February 5, 2025
This episode is an energetic, playful, and insightful deep-dive into the creative life and inner weirdness of comedian, impressionist, and actor Mary Elizabeth Kelly. Discovered by Pete via Instagram, Mary Elizabeth shares her path from theater and commercials to viral internet fame, discusses the challenges of digital creativity and the internet’s double-edged sword, and explores her obsession with impressions and accents. The episode is filled with comedic riffing, authentic vulnerability, advice for creators, playful impressions, and a delightfully weird ghost story.
[00:03-02:55]
[03:16-05:11]
[06:07-07:56]
“Are you in the pudding club? I’m having pud for two.” – Mary Elizabeth Kelly (08:27)
[11:09-16:34]
[17:28-27:46]
[31:04-52:19]
[54:49-63:52]
[81:45-88:50]
[65:12-76:26]
[91:12-108:48]
[110:00-117:32]
On Audience & Originality:
“For every crappy message, I get a message from a new mom being like, ‘I watch your videos when I’m breastfeeding at night… it’s the only thing that brings me joy.’” – Mary Elizabeth Kelly (27:00)
On Comparison and Internet Trolls:
“People are just cruisin’ for a bruisin’. They want to be like, ‘I see what’s wrong with this.’” – Pete Holmes (19:30)
On Internet Success:
“Sometimes, the joke needed to be more like a photograph than a performance—a moment.” – Pete Holmes (14:21)
On Impressions and Trends:
“Comedy comes in trends and waves…with big characters, nowadays people say ‘Millennial core—that’s cringe!’” – Mary Elizabeth Kelly (49:32)
“An impression is either right or wrong.” – Pete Holmes (102:20)
On Emotional Access and Pregnancy:
“Pre-pregnancy, I was a crier, but now I’m feeling all of every feeling…they’re more easily accessible, I guess.” – Mary Elizabeth Kelly (37:37)
On the Power of Creativity:
“All you can do is just keep creating and keep making…for me, at least, there’s a sort of bubbling fountain of stuff I’m excited about.” – Mary Elizabeth Kelly (28:11)
This episode is a must-listen for fans of creative process, the weirdness of internet culture, the joy (and difficulty) of being publicly funny and sensitive, and the fine art of impressions. It’s a celebration of secret weirdness, honesty, and the magic that happens when two funny minds lovingly riff.