Podcast Summary: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes – Rick Glassman (Feb 22, 2023)

Main Theme / Purpose This episode dives deep into the unique quirks, comedic stylings, and personal insights of comedian Rick Glassman. A self-proclaimed “riff machine,” Glassman joins Pete Holmes for a high-energy, riff-heavy, and self-aware conversation that covers everything from boundary-setting, self-perception, comedic process, podcasting philosophies, autism, and the art of being vulnerable and weird. The discussion is equal parts silly and profound, packed with quick-witted bits, self-reflection, and practical wisdom for creative types and anyone interested in the emotional dynamics of comedy and connection.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Art of the Bit and Podcast Energy

• The episode begins with playful chaos: Rick fixates on checking his appearance in a mirror, leading to a running joke about self-awareness, bits, and podcast “vibe checks.”
• Both comedians deconstruct their penchant for starting with comedy bits, dissecting how this impacts the flow and tone of conversations.
• Notable Moment: Rick and Pete joke about their hypothetical podcast called “Looking for a Bit,” complete with improvised jingles.

  Rick: "If you and I ever did a podcast together, it would be called Looking for a Bit.” (16:11)

2. Boundaries, Social Cues, and the Spinach-In-Your-Teeth Friend

• The dynamic of telling friends uncomfortable truths (like if there’s spinach in their teeth or if their behavior is off-putting) is explored at length.

• Rick shares how his desire to provide helpful feedback, rooted in how he wants to be treated, sometimes backfires depending on the recipient.

• Pete relates this to his own tendency to over-apologize or hold grudges depending on his emotional state.

• Quote:

  Rick: “Your truth—you don't have to tell everybody everything that’s true.” (32:03)
  Pete: “That’s how you get kicked out of basketball games.” (32:04)

• The duo also discusses how honesty and directness are often received based not just on content, but the recipient’s mood and personal boundaries.

• Notable Moment: Pete’s analogy about apologizing in accidental bathroom run-ins and social awareness:

  Pete: “If someone’s in the bathroom and the door does lock… that’s on you.” (45:18)

3. YouTube, Aesthetics, and Intention

• Rick gives Pete candid advice: his YouTube version of the podcast looks “frumpy,” and intention in set design or production values helps attract an audience.
• The importance of intention and vision—beyond simply being “present”—is mapped onto podcasting, creativity, and life.
• Quote:

  Rick: “...there should be an intention to it. So even if it’s frumpy ... lean into that thing.” (25:25)
  Pete: “One of the things I struggle with... is purpose, mission statement, why.” (26:50)

4. Self-Awareness, Autism, and Communication

• Rick opens up about receiving an autism diagnosis as an adult. This revelation brings both relief and a new level of self-scrutiny around social interactions.
• He describes realizing he misread social dynamics for years (“I wrongly felt everybody feels about me positively”) and how this affected his comedy and friendships.
• Notable Quote:

  Rick: "I wrongly felt everybody feels about me positively, which was great for my self-worth. I love myself. I'm fun, I'm funny, I'm phenomenal. And then I found out I'm not." (90:51, also used as the cold open)

• The conversation expands to how people with different neurotypes can bridge understanding, communicate boundaries, and ensure mutual support.

5. The Value of Help and Friendship

• Both comics reflect on the meaning of help, the purpose of friendship, and different “flavors” of being supportive—whether it’s practical advice or simply showing up.
• Rick argues:

  Rick: “Anybody that you’re choosing to have in your life needs to offer you value and you them, or there’s no point of that relationship.” (108:17)

• Pete distinguishes between “masculine” solution-oriented friendship and more “being there” emotionally, as modeled by his wife’s friendships.

6. Comedy as Process: Acting, Presence, and Free Association

• Hilarious and meta moments come from the two doing acting games (e.g., “fake up”/waking up acting, gum-chewing acting, improvised party scenes).
• Rick gives practical acting advice:

  Rick: “Your only job as an actor...know your lines. ...And number two: have the thoughts. Don’t think about what it’s like to hide...Just be there.” (76:13)

• The pair agree that comedy is rooted in being present. Free association and riffing are celebrated but also acknowledged as potentially confusing for outsiders.

7. Receiving and Processing Criticism

• Both discuss how one’s emotional state changes the way feedback lands.
• Rick’s “tool” is to de-personalize criticism by valuing new data over ego attachment.
• Quote:

  Rick: “By valuing information so much, it kind of supersedes the ego.” (50:03)
  Pete: “What I'm really talking about is the difference between right-minded Pete and wrong-minded Pete.” (51:35)

8. Existential and Spiritual Musings

• The episode closes with reflections on the meaning (or lack thereof) in life, the unknowability of what comes after death, the definition of “help,” and the nature of acceptance.
• Quote:

  Rick: “Looking for meaning in things versus accepting that there isn't. Are those different? ... Where that Venn diagram overlaps would be—you get to create your own meaning for things.” (114:03)
  Pete: “The goal of life to me...is to be your doctor, treating you as if I already know you have autism before I know you have autism. ... Acceptance.” (104:40)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Social Blind Spots and Self-Delusion

  “I’m the best…and then I found out not only am I not picked first, people don’t even want to play when I'm there. That wasn’t a possibility. I’m the best.”
  — Rick Glassman (82:15)

• Honesty & Sensitivity

  “I used to think that whatever I’m thinking, you’re thinking...and he [Bill Burr] was talking about, ‘that’s what being a comic is, realizing people see it differently.'”
  — Rick Glassman (81:10)

• Life Advice on Acting and Presence

  “Know your lines…When you’re not in here, you’re present. You have to be present.” — Rick (76:23)
  “Help is very similar to love, because love is me seeing your needs as my needs...removing the separation.” — Pete (111:44)

• Pure Silliness & Improvisation

  [Acting game about a hidden gin & tonic at a party; wake-up/fake-up competition; “gum chewing acting”; party scene improvisation, etc.] (71:17–77:17)

• On Feedback and Changing Perception via “the Lens”

  “I’m the same person. He (the doctor) just has a better understanding, or at least what he thinks is an understanding of me. It was so fucking frustrating.” — Rick (100:35)
  “That lens is everything... The goal of life to me is...accepting people.” — Pete (104:50)

• Final thoughts on “value” and friendship:

  “Make me laugh, make me inspired, help me…I want to be better.” — Rick (108:17)

Important Segments (Timestamps)

• Setting the Comedic Tone & Bit Culture — 07:20–17:10
• Podcast Intention, YouTube & “Spinach Friend” Analogies — 22:00–34:00
• Honesty, Boundaries, and Social Feedback — 32:00–51:00
• Acting Games & Free Association — 65:00–77:00
• Rick on Autism & Self-Discovery — 78:47–92:25
• The Power and Limits of Self-Knowledge — 97:54–101:20
• Spirituality, Acceptance, and Assigning Meaning — 113:13–115:30
• Fart Jokes and the Sacred Profane — 121:18–124:00

Language and Tone

• The conversation is fast-paced, meta, and self-referential; both comedians playfully call out and dissect their own and each other’s habits.
• Tone alternates between silly (running bits, hypothetical scenarios) and sincerely introspective.
• The mood is collaborative, supportive, and peppered with affectionate ribbing.

Takeaways

• Comedy as Connection: Being “weird” is often just being honest about your inner world—an act of generosity to listeners and friends.
• Feedback, Boundaries & Growth: Not everyone wants the same type of candor; learning how others receive information (and how you receive it) is an on-going process.
• Self-Acceptance: Intention, presence, and self-awareness are crucial elements for meaningful, creative, and connected living.
• Help & Love: Valuing help—however it might look in various relationships—is parallel to practicing love and acceptance.

Memorable Closing Bit:
The episode ends, as always, with “Keep it crispy,” followed by a surprisingly sincere acapella singalong.

For more, check out Rick’s podcast “Take Your Shoes Off” and follow the ongoing weirdness at You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes.