Podcast Summary: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes — Skyler Higley (Dec 18, 2024)

Main Theme / Purpose

This episode features comedian and writer Skyler Higley joining Pete Holmes for a wide-ranging, honest, and frequently hilarious conversation about identity, comedy, social media, race, personal weirdness, family history, and the evolving world of stand-up. Higley, known for his work on "Conan," "The Onion," and "After Midnight," brings his unique background—being adopted, raised Mormon, and Black in Utah—into an open exploration of how those experiences shape his art and worldview.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why We Do the Things We Do: Humor, Self-Awareness, and Motivation

• Pete opens up about becoming vegan largely to upset his parents, leading to honest admissions about self-motivation:

  "I am a vegan, first and foremost, because it upsets my parents." — Pete (01:32)

• Skyler reflects on the performative aspect of identity:

  "Am I smart and do I like reading or do I just like that... people see me as somebody who reads?" (01:59)

• The pair riff comedically on being “caught reading” and being hyper-aware of how others perceive them, setting a tone of self-aware honesty.

2. Hypervigilance, Stand-up, and Identity on Stage

• The conversation transitions into how hypervigilance and social self-awareness infect both stand-up and daily life in the social media age (05:45).
• Skyler talks about the difference between starting out and finding your voice, especially as a Black comedian in predominantly white spaces, and the idea of "hedging" jokes early in his career (06:03, 06:26).
• They discuss the post-2020 shift in comedy and the increased pressure from both audience and the internet, plus the challenges of stand-ups promoting themselves online (07:43).

3. Comedy in the Era of Social Media: The 'Clip Factory' Problem

• Both comedians share concerns about comedy adapting to the demands of TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube:

  "Comedy should suck. It should be like swinging three baseball bats at the beginning, because then when you get one baseball bat, you're real fast. But... when you get really big, now they laugh at the threes. And now you suck." — Pete (16:50)

• Pete and Skyler discuss UK ("threes" & "puns") vs. US (big “tens” laughs) stand-up, riff on the "objectivity" of funny, and how different cultures laugh at different things (17:42–21:31).
• Social media's effect on art and validation:

  "You are basically an employee for Big Tech now as a creative." — Skyler (28:13)

4. Groupthink, Authenticity, and The Problem of the Internet

• Pete recounts the classic conformity experiment (the "lines are the same length" study) and how groupthink flourishes online (10:48–11:49).
• Layered identities: Skyler discusses how identity—racial, social—affects conformity and self-perception, especially in the comedy world (12:10–12:55).

5. Race, Comedy, and Code-Switching

• Skyler speaks candidly about being a Black comedian adopted by white Mormon parents in Utah:

  "Living in a post-black-nerd world where sort of the king of black nerds became Donald Glover in 2013, and now we're 10 years after that... It's sort of harder to go in front of an audience and interpolate yourself." (52:19)

• He explains code-switching and writing material for both Black and white audiences, and how expectations and pressure differ as a Black performer (53:34–54:49).

6. Dealing with Shame, Belonging, and Comedy as Self-Therapy

• In a powerful segment, Skyler describes ongoing feelings of imposter syndrome within Black communities due to his upbringing, economic background, and cultural exposure:

  "If I bomb in front of a black crowd... it makes me feel, like, deeply like I'm inauthentic." (102:47)

• He credits stand-up as an outlet that helped him process these issues, test his identity, and reconcile different parts of his experience (97:49).

7. Mormonism, Adoption, Trauma, and Family

• Skyler gives an unflinching look at his family life, detailing his adoption, the racial and cultural alienation of growing up Black in Utah, and a fraught relationship with his father:

  "I was adopted because... there was a power differential. And then I ended up in a family... my adopted dad wasn’t even all in on doing the adoption... Now I don't consider him a father." (88:16)

• The pair bond over the universal weirdness and often pain of family trauma, using dark humor as a tool for healing (81:48–82:00).

8. Spirituality After Mormonism

• Skyler’s spiritual evolution: raised Mormon, went through atheism, then explored psychedelics, ayahuasca, and spirituality:

  "I listened to this podcast, and then I also had the Internet, and it was like the same time I was getting interested in comedy..." (108:22)

• He discusses the pitfalls of spiritual bypassing (“once you convince yourself you’re enlightened, you can be a real dick”) and the complex relationship between trauma, spirituality, and healing (115:21–117:15).

9. Memorable Jokes & Moments

• On Comedy & Reading:

  "Being caught reading is the opposite of being caught masturbating. The ideal conditions are the same."
  — Pete & Skyler, bantering (02:25)

• On adoption:

  "Our whole family is just paper... An agency put this together. We had reps." — Skyler (72:56–73:24)

• On fitting in:

  "You take your glasses off, and now suddenly, Superman." — Pete (50:15)

• Recurring Arby’s bits:
  The “we have the meats” running gag as a stand-in for American corporate culture and assimilation (60:23–61:12).

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• "I am a vegan, first and foremost, because it upsets my parents."
  — Pete Holmes (01:32)
• "Am I smart, or do I just like that people see me as somebody who reads?"
  — Skyler Higley (01:59)
• "Comedy should suck. It should be like swinging three baseball bats at the beginning..."
  — Pete Holmes (16:50)
• "You are basically an employee for Big Tech now as a creative."
  — Skyler Higley (28:13)
• "Improv, when it's fantastic, is really untouchable... and bad improv, I think, is a little bit worse."
  — Pete Holmes (24:45)
• "If you killed for them, what does that mean about you?"
  — Skyler Higley (21:39)
• "Belonging is... It's so much more... It's like the father stuff. Do you claim me?"
  — Pete Holmes (103:54)
• "Living in a post-black-nerd world... it's harder to go in front of an audience and interpolate yourself."
  — Skyler Higley (52:19)
• "If I bomb in front of a black crowd... I feel, like, deeply like I'm inauthentic."
  — Skyler Higley (102:47)
• "I was adopted because... there was a power differential... there's no bond of blood that makes us actually family."
  — Skyler Higley (88:16)
• "Once you convince yourself you’re enlightened, holy shit... you can be a complete dick."
  — Skyler Higley (116:22)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–02:46: Opening banter; self-aware humor about reading and image
• 05:45–07:19: Hypervigilance, early career comedy, and adapting material
• 10:48–12:55: Groupthink, Internet dynamics, and identity
• 16:50–21:31: Comedy writing, audience standards, culture, and validation
• 28:13–29:37: Social media's impact on creativity and credit
• 52:19–54:49: Interpolating identity on stage as a Black nerd
• 72:56–73:24: Adoption, family as paperwork, and the "casting" of family
• 88:16–90:44: White savior complex, family relationships, social power
• 108:22–109:28: Spiritual transition, effects of podcast and Bo Burnham
• 115:21–116:22: Spiritual bypass, privilege, and systemic issues
• 102:47–104:07: Imposter syndrome, bombing in different audiences

Tone and Language

The podcast is candid, self-deprecating, vulnerable, and often darkly funny. Both Holmes and Higley use humor to defuse and explore uncomfortable truths about family, race, artistry, and modern society, with a generous blend of riffs, honest insights, and the occasional digression into absurdist territory.

Conclusion

This episode is a rich, relatable tapestry of comedy, therapy, and cultural commentary—Skyler Higley’s story and perspective lend depth and humor to core questions about family, race, identity, and the changing world of comedy. Pete Holmes matches his guest’s honesty, making for a conversation that feels both meaningful and mischievously "weird." Fans of stand-up, identity talk, or weird comedy will find plenty to chew on here.

Final Sign-off:

"Keep it crispy. Normal." — Skyler Higley & Pete Holmes (119:24)