We Made It Weird #143

Summary

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You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Episode: We Made It Weird #143
Date: July 14, 2023
Theme: Musical Mischief, Vulnerability, and the Weirdness of Everyday Life

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Episode Overview

This special episode of "We Made It Weird" features Pete Holmes and his wife, Val, in a meandering, music-filled, and highly candid conversation. The pair riff on everything from the secret “uncoolness” of rock stars to parenting fails, all while frequently bursting into song—and spontaneous fits of laughter. The main thread through their discussion is the joy (and self-consciousness) of being vulnerably weird in front of each other and the audience, a theme made literal with Pete’s guitar in hand for much of the episode.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Music as Comedy, Comfort, and Competition

• Improv Songs: Pete repeatedly improvises songs with absurd lyrics, e.g., “Have you ever seen a donkey with a dick the size of the moon?” (03:04), turning the random into musical stylings reminiscent of Neil Young or folk storytellers.
• The Hidden Vulnerability of Musicians:
  • They discuss how artists (like Guns N’ Roses and Bob Dylan) project “cool,” but in reality, musical proficiency usually comes from obsessive, nerdy practice—not the devil-may-care persona often assumed.
  • “Those are a bunch of dorks that practiced for hours every day... You can’t play that unless you’re doing scales.” (22:54, Pete)
• Rock vs. Punk:
  • The pair explore the music culture clash: earnest, technically skilled rock bands vs. punk’s proud DIY and anti-perfection ethos. Val observes punk’s anti-effort attitude as antithetical to Pete's nature, sparking discussion about inclusion and “carving out a space for yourself” even with limited skill.
  • “It’s so against your fundamental nature...you’re very like: work at your craft, hone your craft.” (33:32, Val)
• Music vs. Comedy:
  • Pete admits to a creative envy, noting the unmatched collective power of music:
  • “Music wins. When Childish Gambino is playing to tens of thousands of people...it beats movie star. Music wins.” (17:31, Pete)
  • Reflects on how rap (especially artists like Lil Dicky) blends honesty, speed, and theatricality, making it both intimidating and moving for him as a stand-up (19:09–20:41).

2. The Brave Art of Being “Uncool” & Honest

• On Coolness:
  • They debate what defines “cool” in artists—the mysterious aloofness of Bob Dylan, the vulnerability of Lil Dicky. Pete admits he struggles to relate to those who maintain an inscrutable persona:
  • “Cool people, I have a harder time...I project my values onto them and imagine they like it. But with cool people, I just can’t imagine we’d get along.” (15:14, Pete)
• Personal Honesty as a Superpower:
  • Val encourages Pete by comparing his stand-up’s self-aware openness to Lil Dicky’s raps; both use radical honesty as their signature.

3. Parenthood, Sugar, and the Shame Spiral

• Cobbler Incident:
  • Pete recounts how a night of “honking down” on peach cobbler and graham crackers triggered a wave of rage and impatience the next morning, leading to a rough patch with their daughter, Lila (49:50–53:32).
  • He discusses the shame and vulnerability of parental frustration, and how it cracks him open for deeper empathy and spiritual growth.
  • “One of my biggest fears is that there’s this rage monster in me...I realized...if I were me, I’d be me.” (53:13 & 54:56, Pete)
• Letting Go of Shame:
  • The story ends with Pete finding grace in his own flaws: he realizes he can be compassionate with himself, not just others, reframing his anger as a temporary “weather system” rather than a failing (56:00).

4. Life Lessons from Cold Plunges and Chaos

• Cold Plunge Metaphor:
  • Drawing comparisons to the discomfort of ice baths, Pete suggests that full immersion—whether in cold water or the loud, silly chaos of podcasting—can be calming (28:21–29:58).
  • “If I put my whole body in there...your brain just goes like...it leaves its post, so there is no pain.” (29:11, Pete)

5. Riffing, Jokes, and Inside Humor

• Song Parodies:
  • Throughout, Pete and Val parody classic songs and signature sounds, poking fun at folk lyrics, Guns N’ Roses’ tough imagery paired with gentle melodies, and oddball covers.
• Memorable Playful Exchanges:
  • Playful banter on “splish splash, I was taking a bath”—building absurd bridges (“I open the door and my big socky dick...was out, and everyone saw it.” (12:12, Pete))
  • Imagined British-accented rockers, riffing on “garage bands” and Apple’s GarageBand (22:44).

6. TV Obsessions and Everyday Observations

• Alone on TV:
  • Both admit to a recent obsession with the survival show "Alone," prompting fits of laughter at how contestants always leave behind families—Pete joking, “Every single one of them deserves to be cheated on. Like, that is—you’ve broken the covenant.” (44:41)
• Baking Show Letdown:
  • Pete describes the near-miss of almost being cast on Celebrity Great British Bake Off, lamenting, “Guess who they didn’t pick? So when you’re watching it...just imagine if I was there.” (47:33)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [07:19] Pete: “God’s pronouns are thy, thou.”
• [13:05] Val (joking about Bob Dylan): “Your vagina means democracy.”
• [16:25] Pete: “Music wins... there’s no Bonnaroo for comedy. There’s a tent, like carnies. And you go in there when you’re having a bad trip, and then I’m in there being like, ‘You ever wipe your ass?’ and then they’re like, ‘Oh, this is worse!’ and they run back out.”
• [20:41] Pete: “It’s this impossible feat... marrying the music. There’s collaboration. The person who made the beat and the person who writes the song come together.”
• [22:54] Pete: “Those are a bunch of dorks that practiced for hours every day... You don’t play—that—unless you’re doing scales.”
• [25:22] Pete: “Your boy is the most at-odds-with-himself person you’ll ever know.”
• [33:32] Val (on punk music): “It’s so against your fundamental nature... you’re very like: work at your craft, hone your craft.”
• [53:13] Pete (on parenting shame): “My biggest fear is there’s this rage monster in me. And I certainly didn’t rage, but I was overwhelmed and exasperated and wasn’t hiding it.”
• [54:56] Pete: “If I were me, I’d be me.”
• [57:14] Pete (on spiritual brokenness): “When I’m broken and I turn to something... it gets in, like liquid metal, pouring through all of the cracks, getting right into me...”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:04 – Improvised “Donkey” song, folk music parodies
• 06:11 – Guns N’ Roses, coolness vs. vulnerability in music
• 13:01 – Bob Dylan, rap, and projecting values onto artists
• 16:25 – “Music Wins” discussion, envy of musical influence
• 25:22 – Pete reflects on his contradictory nature & sugar highs
• 28:20 – The cold plunge metaphor for emotional overwhelm
• 33:24 – Punk music vs. perfectionism, personal taste and inclusion
• 43:27 – Obsession with the TV show Alone, parenthood, and reality TV
• 49:50 – Sugar “binge,” the peach cobbler incident, the morning hangover
• 53:13 – Parenting fail, shame, and self-compassion revelation
• 54:56 – “If I were me, I’d be me” – applying grace internally
• 57:14 – Brokenness as the gateway for receiving meaning

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Tone and Style

Throughout, Pete and Val keep things playful, honest, and irreverent. Pete’s willingness to look foolish (“I’m a donkey with a dick the size of the moon!”) is balanced by genuine self-analysis and a strong thread of empathy (for others and eventually, himself). Their dynamic is affectionate, quick-witted, and deeply “weird”—in the sense of embracing the quirky, raw, and imperfect parts of life.

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Summary

This episode embodies the spirit of “weirdness” as both silliness and radical authenticity. Listeners are treated to musical goofing, real talk about the anxieties of parenthood, and the often-overlooked realities behind “cool” art and artists. As always, there’s a lesson hidden in the hilarity: letting ourselves get a little “crispy” (and weird) can open us up to transformation, kindness, and maybe even a song or two about donkeys and the moon.

“Keep it crispy!” (58:49, Val)

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Transcript

[A]

You made it weird. You made it weird.

[B]

You made it weird.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

You made it weird. Yes, you did. You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

[A]

What's happening, weirdos? I gotta go run and get our kid real fast.

[B]

This is an epic. This is a great episode. I love this one. We're gonna listen to this song.

[A]

It's a musical episode.

[B]

The first one where I had a guitar. I'm on tour. Please come see me in New York City, in Connecticut. That's coming up. I think there's a few tickets left, I don't know. And that's [e-mail] I'm also going other places. Denver, St. Louis. It's all going to be on petehomes.com Please come and see me. Means a lot. And also once a month I'm at Largo in Los angeles. Go to largo-la.com the next one is August 5th. These are the highlights. I'm working on my new hours. It's all new material. Hope to see you there. Largo-la.com for tickets to those and the show supported by you guys and you trying the things that I actually use and actually love. So Katie, roll those ads and if you like this show, the way that it works is if you want to support it. We don't have a Patreon or any way to, like donate, but if you want to try things that I actually use and actually love, try a Pete's Pick. It helps support the show. This episode is brought to us by my new favorite, best looking, best feeling shorts I've ever owned by Bird Dogs. I've never been bird dogs. I've never been a huge short guy. I love swimming. I hate swim trunks. But Bird Dogs has changed all of that, especially now that it's summer. I love liberating my legs and getting in the water as often as possible. And now, thanks to my dogs, I can do that while feeling totally comfortable and looking really good. Bird dogs make you look good. They even have stretch khaki shorts, which I love, that are designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and give your leg a truly sculpted look. Bird dog shorts do the exact same thing as Lululemon, but fit way better. And let's be honest, they look better and they're not Lululemon. So that's a plus. That's a plus. Come on, get in it, get into it. They're not stiff, restricting cotton. Bird Dogs have fixed this issue by inventing cloud knit fabric that looks just like khaki but stretches so you Get a way slimmer fit without having to sacrifice movement. And bird dogs use anti stiff distinct sweat wicking fabric that keeps you cool and dry all day long. And they're the best feeling, quickest drying, best looking swim trunks that I've ever owned. I've actually been giving them to guests and giving them away to friends. So go to birddogs.com weird you will get a free yeti style tumbler with your order. That's birddogs.com weird for a free yeti style tumbler with your order, you won't want to take your bird dogs off. We promise you. Birddogs.com weird all right everybody. I fucking love this episode. I can't wait for you to hear it. I'm gonna listen to this one with you in the car.

[A]

It's a lot of fun. Go ahead and get into it.

[B]

Have you ever seen a donkey with a dick the size of the moon? Have you ever eaten Lucky Charms with a fork instead of spoon? Have you ever seen a child namedy Gord Lagoon? Have you ever seen a donkey size the moon? Have you ever seen a donkey with a dick the size of the moon? Have you ever. No. Have you ever eaten Lucky Charms with a fork instead of spoon? Have you ever met a child named Decor Lagoon? Have you ever seen a donkey with a dick the size of the moon? Have you ever seen a donkey with a dick the size of the moon? Like a child with a forking stair spoon? Have you ever met a chair that chair's namedy Gar Lagoon. Have you ever seen a donkey with.

[A]

A dick the size of the moon?

[B]

With a dick the size with the moon? Look at that moon dick talking to crescent moon. It's got a band. That donkey's dick's got a band.

[A]

Wow. Is it? You ever made a kid named Igor Lagoon?

[B]

You. You don't listen to Neil Young.

[A]

That was. That was as good as any Neil Young. No, that's not true. I like two of his now.

[B]

Could you say that about me, Neil Young? I sat by the fire till the.

[A]

Fire she was done and do the same thing as you. But I sing it really weird. Sing it really weird.

[B]

Like, isn't it true that Bob? It's like a first to market thing. He could have been like red brick chimney, red brick house, red brick kitten, red brick mouse. And he would have been like the. The mouse was the government.

[A]

But that's exactly what he did do. And what they did do. That's what. That's exactly what happened.

[B]

The watchtower is the government Tambourine Man's the drug dealer. Mr. T. Oh. Oh. Remember we were listening to. Welcome to the first guitar edition of We Made It Weird, huh? We were listening to Guns. Guns N Roses.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And.

[A]

Which. They're great. They're a great man.

[B]

They're a great group.

[A]

They're a great little group.

[B]

I couldn't play anything that they play or sing. Anything they say.

[A]

No.

[B]

And I was thinking of an Axl Rose pronoun joke, but I didn't want to be because he's an axel. So his pronouns are like, that. It. But pronoun jokes are dumb. Yeah, those are pronoun jokes. The pronoun of pronoun jokes is overdone.

[A]

Yeah. And now we've moved on to proton jokes.

[B]

My. My protons are atom, molecule. Rory on stage, we. He did a show. Let's not forget Guns N Roses. But Rory did a set, and I. Rory Scoville. And I was like, oh, my God. Rory and I are like the exact same. We're different, but we're so similar.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And he was riffing, or. I don't know if he's riffing. I can never tell if he's riffing. And he said, God pronouns or something. And I've had that joke. Remember? I'm like, God's pronouns are thy, thou.

[A]

Right. And he said.

[B]

He said something.

[A]

Pronouns were the original they, them, or like God.

[B]

Yes, something. But it wasn't thy, thou, and I should just give it to him.

[A]

I also love that he. The. The part of that bit I remember is like, I love when people are smart enough to know God isn't a.

[B]

He, but stupid enough to think that she's a. That he's a she.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That God is a she. No, he's. I love that people are smart enough to know that God is not a man, but they're stupid enough to say that God is a woman.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was like, that is a donkey with the dick the size of the moon.

[A]

I love that you're just sitting with the guitar now. This is like. This is Storytellers. Remember Storytellers?

[B]

I was alone. I was all by myself. This is the hidden track on Dookie. Had an erection.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I was all by myself.

[A]

He said I had an erection.

[B]

They would sing it when they did it live. That's right. Guys, I'm going deep on Duke.

[A]

But what I. But in the hidden track, he said, I had an erection and I was all over.

[B]

Such wonderful. No, he said, I was alone. I was all by myself. He doesn't say Head direction. But when they would play it live, they would say head and erection. Cuz it's clearly about masturbation. So many other songs were about masturbation.

[A]

Really?

[B]

You and me had such wonderful times when I was all by myself.

[A]

That's funny.

[B]

It is.

[A]

That is funny.

[B]

Sung by Trey Cool.

[A]

That song, the drummer, his name is Trey.

[B]

Cool means very cool in French, which is funny because it's decidedly not cool.

[A]

Not cool at all. Just not cool to be named that.

[B]

He probably looks at Travis Barker like, I could have just been Dan.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Here's what I was gonna say about Guns N Roses. I think it's so funny. First of all, I'm so happy to be sitting with you.

[A]

Same.

[B]

Welcome to the space. The guitar is like. The guitar is kind of like the pads a catcher wears on his chest or her on their chest. But it's like, I feel like there's this block between us. I understand why the creatively fragile would love to have a guitar. In fact, I having it. I haven't picked up this guitar in years.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Since we moved here. And it's in tune kind of. I know it's not really in tune.

[A]

When I heard. I heard it from upstairs, I was like, what. What acoustic music is he listening to? Then I heard Donkey Dick and I.

[B]

Went, oh, yeah, no, I'm gonna resist the urge to indulge by only playing the guitar. But no, we were listening. So Guns N Roses was like, I grew up. Remember their logo was like a cross and they were all skulls and it was very gothic. And their whole image was like, Guns N Roses. Hope you have your birth control and hope you've said your prayers because tonight we die. And then Axel would come out and be like, she's got eyes of the sweetest marlin. We're listening to it. Just like, what the. How did we think that was the devil I know. How did we think, welcome to the jungle. They're welcoming you.

[A]

Yes. I mean, even.

[B]

I'm kidding. That's a joke.

[A]

Yeah. Even before that though, like, they used to think the devil's music was Twist and Shout.

[B]

Oh, yeah. It was like, let's go down to the cabin and have ourselves a smoke. That was like, lucifer, let's go to the cabin, have a sample. And they're like, you know what he's singing about? Devil's cabbage.

[A]

I was listening to.

[B]

Is it making anyone listening? You guys, email me. Is it making you nervous knowing I.

[A]

Might play the guitar at any moment? Yeah, that's the kind of thing that would make you crazy.

[B]

It would.

[A]

Yeah. But I was listening.

[B]

Now.

[A]

Now I have two instruments interrupting me at all times.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

I. I was listening to Splish Splash with my mother. Okay.

[B]

If you must know, you were listening to Splish Splash. I was taking a bath.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm gonna put the guitar down.

[A]

And. Because Leela wanted a song about a bath time or whatever, so I was like, oh, there's a good song about that.

[B]

Yeah. And.

[A]

And so we were, like, listening to it in the car. My mother and my daughter. One of the most wholesome things that you've ever imagined. But the words of that are Splish splash I was taking a bath all.

[B]

Up on a Saturday night Rub a dub Just relaxing in the tub Thinking.

[A]

Everything was all right Then like, a knock on the door, or like a.

[B]

It's like a party. He forgot he was having a party.

[A]

Yeah. That was like. I had never. I never knew that that was the theme of it.

[B]

What about the bridge where he goes like. And I open the door and my big socky dick. It's soggy. Soggy soap. A dick was out, and everyone saw it.

[A]

I don't recall that part, but. But, yeah, it's like he's taking a bath. He hears people. He goes. He opens the door, and there's a full party going on.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And then he goes, splish Splash. I jump back in the bath. So he just decided to go back in the tub.

[B]

Wait. It's the introverts anthem. It's like, you know what?

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I'd rather be in the sub.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

That's very weird. That's. First to market.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Like, there was a time.

[A]

Look.

[B]

And I know people love Bob Dylan, so I'll go back to that.

[A]

I love Bob Dylan. Actually, my first sex dream was about Bob Dylan, and it was in black and white.

[B]

And your vagina means democracy.

[A]

Okay, I am a little. I'm of not. I'm more than a little skeeved out by him now. But, yeah, you know, 60s young Dylan, you're like, no, I get it. It's like Llewyn Davis that. That's. It's been replaced.

[B]

I just had this with Lil Dicky, who. You and I are both obsessed with Dave. And we finished it, and it's so good. And I've moved into his music, and I'm really enjoying it. But. And then, you know, I have these moments where I'm like, maybe me and Lil Dicky Dave Bird would be friends. And then I immediately go, like it. That he's like, he is like a. I get that he's, like, vulnerable and, you know, not cool all the time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But there's a coolness happening there that I just could never keep up with. I. I feel.

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

You don't think so?

[A]

No. I mean. I know what you mean.

[B]

People that are like, cool ass. And I'm like, I. I feel like there's wrong things to say.

[A]

No, I don't think so.

[B]

Not that. Not that he would judge.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Lil.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not that I think you'd, like, roll your eyes, but when you said he's his best friend is that music producer guy.

[A]

Benny Blanco.

[B]

Benny Blanco. That dude. And Lil Dicky and, like, Bob Dylan. And there's a certain, you know, Aziz comes to mind, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, just people that are just, like. When you say cool.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When I say cool, I mean the guy. The first guy in the pool.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

At a barbecue, like, that's a cool dude. Well, the original, like, original use of cool was like, they were cool. Like, they didn't give you a lot. They were like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They were quiet and still. Like Dylan. Like. Like when people are like. Dylan would lie in his interviews. I'm like, well, that fucking sucks. And some people are like, no, that's cool. I could see Dave Bird being like, do you see? He's, like, taking it back. He's taking back the control. Like, you don't own him. You don't know him. And I'm like, yeah, but it's. It's fun. I want to know when he wrote his first song.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like, I can't keep up with the.

[A]

Like, I really. Just having listened to him on podcasts, I haven't. Yeah.

[B]

I'm in a beautiful, dreamy way. When I used to, like, when I fall in love with an artist.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I started mad. Part of it for me is imagining of whether or not we would get along.

[A]

Oh, totally.

[B]

And projecting my values onto them and imagining that they like it.

[A]

Yeah. Absolutely.

[B]

Cool people. I have a harder time doing that.

[A]

Yeah. No, I think what he does is incredibly cool, and I think he is very cool. But I think it seems like. Who knows? But it seems like he is very similar to you in that it's like he's all about being very honest and vulnerable.

[B]

Yeah. And I'm drawn to that and the show. Dave, we're talking about Lil Dicky Dave, rapper.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

And I think just his, like, his rap is what your stand up is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I appreciate that cool thing that you do.

[B]

And when this is Very nice. I love this.

[A]

Doing something very brave that only a few people can do in the world.

[B]

I thought this was a library, but there's a hot fudge sundae bar in here. Speaking of sidebar. I love what you just said. I also. I have a couple things. One, the effects of sugar. I want to talk about that, but I also want to say that music wins.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We've talked about this before, and I think the genius of Donald Glover and Lil Dicky and the like, maybe they were just drawn to it. I don't think they were necessarily planning how to be, like, as huge and influential as an iconic as possible, but I think they do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I would wager that Donald Glover, a man who can literally do anything.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

If the hottest thing in the world right now was tap dancing, that dude would own some. Some tap shoes, and he'd be blowing us all away with that. Do you understand what I mean? Like, if music was kind of like, I don't know if these. These huge talents would just so happen to be drawn to the most influential thing. Meaning there's no lollipop. I can't. I say lollapalooza. There's no. What are the. What are the Bonnaroo. Yeah, there's no bonnaroo for comedy. There's a tent. We get a 10, like, carnies, and you go in there when you're having a bad trip, and then I'm in there being like, you ever wipe your ass? And then they're like, oh, this is worse. And they run back out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But, like, music. It's probably one of the reasons why I kind of resent it is I see the influence there when, like, when Childish Gambino is playing to tens of thousands of people and they're all locked into the same experience. I'm like, I don't mean this as, like, a Machiavellian or sinister thing. I'm like, I think that's by design. And I think Lil Dicky is one of those dudes that is like, I want to be a legend. I want to be like, Prince. Who are the legends? Prince, Elvis. You know what I mean? So it's like, those are the only legends I could think of. But even, like, it's that story that Michael Shea told on this podcast where Jack Nicholson was at a party at an SNL party, and everyone was drawn to him. Then Prince walked in, and no one gave a fuck. It beats movie star. Yeah, music wins.

[A]

Yeah, music. I could see that. I think music does win, but I don't know I, I, I think that they definitely. In his case, in his case specifically, what he said on a podcast was.

[B]

That this is Lil, Lil Dicky.

[A]

That he, he originally was thinking of his rapping as like, a way into comedy.

[B]

Oh, interesting.

[A]

And then he just got, he worked really hard and he got so good at it that now he is, he's got, like, kind of a foot in both.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I, I just, I know that your whole world is stand up and knowing other people who do what you do, and you could maybe lose sight of how, like, rare and incredibly hard everybody. The, the number one biggest fear is public speaking. And that's what you do.

[B]

And then rap is like, well, I'll do that to a beat and say 50,000 more words. It is the one up. Even singing is like public speaking. I'm now going to add, like, have you. Everyone knows if you're wrong, it's so vulnerable. Stand up is like. To me. And I say this to encourage anybody that's thinking about doing stand up or even doing a speech or anything. You actually have exits in every direction, meaning if something goes wrong, you're allowed to address. Takes about 10 years to learn that, maybe more.

[A]

That's a 10 thing.

[B]

I was watching LD, aka the human genome, rapping on the radio. It's locked into a beat. Like, there's like key changes and there's moments where the beat drops and it's on a key line. So he's like, locked into a thing and he does it, and it gets me really excited.

[A]

It is really exciting. It's really.

[B]

But it, like, elevates my heart rate. Not just him, other, other rap, like, specifically rap became like, the most. And it's not just the, like, I couldn't do that. It moves me to tears when I hear somebody, like, especially somebody like him who's vulnerable. So he has a song called Bruh B R U H and every time I listen to it, I tear up at a certain part.

[A]

Really impressive.

[B]

And it's not just because he's saying a lot of words real fast. It's because he's, he's marrying the music he's writing us. It's not four. Four. It's not like, have you ever opened a door and whoops, there's a whore and she's down on the floor and getting some more. It's not that.

[A]

It's not that. Okay. It's not that. Okay. I thought it could have the guitar's back.

[B]

But it's this impossible feat. An emerging of different art. There's Collaboration. There's like the. The person who made the beat, and there's the person who writes the song, and they come together.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And it's. I don't know. Maybe it's boring. Here's my point about Guns and Roses to stick that landing. But I do want to talk about sugar. Oh, good.

[A]

Oh, good.

[B]

Oh, good. Sugar, sugar, sugar, honey. You know they're talking about Lucifer's dick. That's a funny sketch. It's like, Diane, like the. You're the problem.

[A]

You're disgusting.

[B]

They're like, sugar, sugar, ba Pa. You know, they're talking about when you come on someone's nose, right?

[A]

Like, Diane, you're filthy.

[B]

You're the issue. You know that video game encourages people to go out and show their buttholes to the mailman, right? Diane, Have. Have you been showing your butt? Yeah, because I heard. I played that game. Diane, I think it's you, you dirty bird.

[A]

Diane.

[B]

Guns n Roses, the devil's music. I. We were listening to it, and I was just so impressed with the musicality, with the talent, the drumming. And I am such a square. But like, the guitar and the singing and the bass to every element was like, clearly I was listening to it. Like, they're probably like the Sex Pistols, right? Like, Sid Vicious just looked cool. So they. Todd, would be like.

[A]

Your face right now. It's insane. Just picture, like a wide mouth bass. That's what I'm looking at. Right?

[B]

That's cool. I'm not making fun of the city V. My face. Not my face, but I'm just saying. So I. I was going into Guns N Roses, having not listened to them in a long time, thinking they were probably just like a garage band. And what I heard.

[A]

Garage band.

[B]

Yeah. Garage band is named after bands and garages, man. Apple don't own me. Is that what you meant?

[A]

No, I just meant, like, they're one of the biggest Dragon roll bands in the world.

[B]

But this is the thing. This is the. The thing that dads and moms in the 80s and 90s didn't understand when they were dismissing these. These groups as just devil drug addicts. Yeah, those are a bunch of dorks that practiced for hours every day. You don't play. You can't play that unless you're in your doing scales.

[A]

Doing scales.

[B]

Axel, Axel, listen to this. I up. Yeah, they're dorks.

[A]

They're dork.

[B]

They're. They're practicing obsessive nerds. And I. I say all of that as a deep compliment. So you're like, keep My daughter away from them. What? Keep them away from people that know how to, like, focus and hone and polish and present. They can not only do it, but do it reliably and in front of hundreds of thousands of people and under the pressure of money and fame. Like, get your daughter over there. Maybe not today, but I'm just saying, like, your daughter could learn how to start a band. Like, whole.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, a great lady band.

[A]

Like, whole. Okay.

[B]

Everyone loves hole. Hole. Did you know Bush opened for hole? 2, 3, 4. I got a machine head on the rest.

[A]

It's so loud.

[B]

It's so loud.

[A]

Remember yesterday when Lila was being so loud and you were like, I can't take it. And I'm like, can I.

[B]

Can I say something right now?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Your boy is the most at odds with himself person you'll ever know. Yeah, most of the time I'm not, but, like, if I'm lit up, I just had a whole bunch of watermelon. I love getting jacked on watermelon before the party.

[A]

Summertime. You've turned into the watermelon man. You're even wearing the color of watermelon.

[B]

I like wearing this shirt when I'm honking on some watermelon because it spills down my shirt and I don't even have to change. It's true.

[A]

This is the summer Pete, that I've.

[B]

Come to know and love, but also, how can I be this guy? And in 45 minutes, I'll be in the car and be like, can we turn the radio down? Like, which is it?

[A]

Just can't do it.

[B]

I've been coaching. What?

[A]

No, go ahead.

[B]

I've been coaching people through the cold plunge. It's fun. We have people at the party. We have people at the party. People at the party.

[A]

First thing you got to get. You got to get people at the party. Okay?

[B]

We got people that. We have people at our house because we have a pool and I have a cold plunge.

[A]

Oh, my God. I don't know how to be with you right now.

[B]

I also was just writing some all lubed up.

[A]

So I was, like, gardening in the sun with Jen, and it was just so, like, melty hot, like a tomato. We were talking to the plants, and I'm just like, groovy man, and you are a watermelon man.

[B]

I get it.

[A]

And you got your own watermelon plan.

[B]

But I forget what I was gonna say.

[A]

Say we. You're coaching people through the.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Thank you. This is for you. A minor. It's a great chord O, that's you. Do you have a knife in that? In your garter belt? Has a knife in her G.

[A]

That's my. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, she has a knife.

[A]

I wish you could see my face.

[B]

Cuz apparently it's very funny.

[A]

No, no, it was that you. You picked right back up and you remembered the ex. The exact weird tone that you were doing. Like you were like.

[B]

Like, I went to drum. Sounds like. Is that it?

[A]

Yeah, but you. You didn't start at night. You started with. No.

[B]

I'm the kind of song that would have a whip crack in it.

[A]

Oh, yeah, totally.

[B]

Axio.

[A]

Axio.

[B]

Come in here.

[A]

Are they British?

[B]

They pitch. Yeah. No, they should be British. Okay, so I coach. What do I do? I coach people through the cold plunge. And there's this funny thing. There's this funny phenomenon. There's so many lessons. You're out there gardening, and there's so many lessons in the garden. And I'm doing my dumb boy version. Not that women. No women can go punch you, but I'm just saying boys tend to be the ones out there soaking their icy nuts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And loving it. It's pouch envy. It's like warrior energy. But when people get in and the boys and the girls do it, I always tell them the first thing to note. You're going to want to step into the cold plunge. And your feet are freezing, Mr. Picklesworth. They're freaking freezing. And you have to. And you have to. You have to sit your ass down in the cold water. So it's like. And then get your back and your whole torso in there and your arms. Get everything in there. Because when you. If I just put my hand in the cold plunge, it'll start to ache and hurt. And everything in me says, get my hand out. But if I put my whole body in there, Right. It's this overwhelming. Your brain just goes like. Well, it, like, leaves its post.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like a security guard just drops his coffee and walks out of that little booth by the gate and. And he doesn't know where to send the pain. So there is no pain there. There's a general sense of pain, but it's so overwhelming that it actually helps you settle into it. Similarly, when I'm here with you in a. Honestly, a quiet. If I stop talking, it's quiet in here. It's very controllable. It's man. In fact, that's probably what stand up is. And part of what this is, is like, it's so cold. It's not cold. It's so loud that it's not loud. And even people listening put it on. It's like just like this insanity, hopefully to some people, is, like, kind of calming. It's just like, well, there they go. They're laughing and enjoying. You don't really have to listen to what we're saying. You could, right?

[A]

And. But don't you think there's something with the sound thing where you are being loud so that you, like, you're the loudest one. There's nothing that could be louder than.

[B]

You become the monster. So the monster will not take you.

[A]

Down.

[B]

No, it's a real song. It's a real town. Will not take you down. What song is where the streets have no Name and your like, like, this is what this is. Bono pitching songs to the edge before the edge writes it. It's like, I want to run, I want to hide yeah, I want to down there walls and hold me inside and the edge is just shaking with rage that he can't wait to fix it. With or without you it's funny because this is with or without you. It's also glycerin. Same chords from by Bush that open for whole.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Well, that on your breath.

[A]

That's the.

[B]

Without you. Oh, yeah.

[A]

That is the other part of the Guns N Roses thing. But because it wasn't just like, moms and dads being like, oh, that's the devil's music. Also didn't, like, once punk came on the scene, didn't they think that was, like, a joke, that kind of music?

[B]

Who, Diane?

[A]

No, punk, Like, Diane. No, no. Didn't let him. Didn't punk rockers, the garage band, punk rocker. Those punk rockers, didn't they think that, like, rock bands like Guns N Roses were like, a joke? Because the whole. Isn't the whole point that you make the music shitty?

[B]

Because it's like, well, it's diy. It's do it yourself. So, right. It's like you pick someone with the attitude first, okay. And then they, like, learn how to play the instruments. But it should. It's like when I was in a punk band and in the punk scene in Boston, it was like our understanding, which is limited, is that you shouldn't write a song that's, like, too difficult. Because the whole point is that it's, like, utilitarian and for the people, right? And it's supposed to. That's not the point. It's like the attitude and, like, the point.

[A]

Okay. And I also thought that it was a little bit like, it's so Dumb to put in so much effort. Like.

[B]

Yeah, and it's also dumb.

[A]

You don't have to do that. So like the fact. So that touches on the like, act doing Axel Rose, doing the scales.

[B]

Well, they became lame. Yeah, that's right. You shouldn't say lame. But that became uncool. You shouldn't say uncool. That became stupid. You shouldn't say stupid. But yeah, I think hair bands too, with their keyboards and that became Guns and Roses. And then punk was like, these are dorks. Like, I barely know how to play this instrument. Which is why, like rancid out, you know? I love rancid. They don't even tune their instruments. That's by design. Yeah, they know how to tune their instruments.

[A]

Do they know how though?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I mean, they know how.

[B]

At a certain point. They're like 50 year old men that are like, they know there's an app on your phone.

[A]

I just don't know why. I wonder though, why you like punk music. Because I think that's a cold one. So it's. It's so against your fundamental nature. It even rubs me. You know, my brother didn't like punk music, so I didn't. Just as simple as that. But like, it's so the opposite of what you are about because it's like, it's the whole thing of being like, it's not cool to make effort. Like, you're very like, work at your craft, hone your craft.

[B]

But I, I wasn't always. I was kind of like, I'm not very good and I can play this.

[A]

Okay, sure.

[B]

It's like.

[A]

So it is you being loud so that you can't hear other songs. Like, it's like, yeah, you're carving out a space for yourself and being at punk shows.

[B]

I was like, it would be really great to be on stage because then what? I could stop, you know, it's sounds different on stage. Like it's so loud in the audience.

[A]

Well, when you're the one making the. The thing about the sound, which we've covered so much on this podcast, is that it's like an unpredictable nature. And the root of the pain when somebody is being loud to you is I'm not being considered.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So of course none of that would apply when you're the one making the sound.

[B]

Yeah, that's right. And that's comedy. Yeah, you. If you're the guy smoking the cigar in the movie theater, you're just enjoying a cigar, baby.

[A]

And a movie.

[B]

I used to do this bit in college where I Would show how many songs are just gdc. So I was like, I know. I wanna take me home. Broke into the old apartment. Do you know the song?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is where we used to live. In the arms of the.

[A]

That was the first song I learned how to play on the. The piano.

[B]

And then I would do. I'd go. It's a bittersweet symphony. That's life. This is the one that was like, not right.

[A]

No, it's not right.

[B]

There were others, you know, that was.

[A]

Like a viral video for a while. Somebody did something like that. I mean, I think I've seen multiple things, but.

[B]

Oh, and better than that, I hope that was not.

[A]

That was. You did some real singing on that.

[B]

Actually.

[A]

You did sincere singing.

[B]

It's comedy.

[A]

You can't.

[B]

Can you do it?

[A]

I can't sing that song.

[B]

It's actually minor.

[A]

That's good.

[B]

I know who I want to take.

[A]

Yeah. It's beautiful.

[B]

That's like putting something in my butt or something.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I don't mean that in a homophobic way. I just mean, like, it's just so vulnerable.

[A]

Yeah, it's really sweet. I love it.

[B]

Hey, everybody. I forgot to throw to the mid rolls, so I know we're having a lot of fun and being very silly. Forgive, forgive and forget. Here are the ads. Thank you for listening to them. Please try one. This episode is brought to us by our friends at Element lmnt. Healthy hydration isn't just about drinking water. It's about drinking water plus electrolytes. It makes sense. You lose both water and sodium when you sweat. And both need to be replaced to prevent muscle cramps, headaches, and energy dips. But most people are only replacing water. But the solution to getting through your workout or just getting through your day with proper hydration to optimize your body and your mind isn't just water. It's to drink water. Plus Element. Element has become a huge part of my wellness program and a part of my morning routine that I sincerely look forward to. 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Like for those of you that are interested mildly in what we were just doing, we play a game called singing your real voice, which I understand they just played on Shameless.

[A]

No.

[B]

What is it called? List.

[A]

Smart list.

[B]

Listless.

[A]

Smart list.

[B]

Smart list. Are you done? Is this over?

[A]

Yeah, this is over.

[B]

Okay. So the overwhelming cold plunge and I did want to tell the sugar story.

[A]

Okay, tell it.

[B]

You know they're talking about when you Fill a bathtub with lotion and pretend it's jizz. Diane, I. Okay, hashtag 40. So 40. 44.

[A]

This is so 44.

[B]

This is so 44. But it's actually, I think that's a beautiful story because it was like, I don't remember why. We've been having like three weeks, like three uninterrupted weeks of just a really good mood. It's been crazy. Usually for me, my moods are like, you know, I feel every feeling in a day and I don't mind it. I'm just used to it. But I kept waiting for some sort of anxiety or dread or something to like show up and knock me away.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it didn't happen for three weeks. It's fucking crazy. And then it. I ate a peach cobbler. I don't. We were watching the show Alone, which we were obsessed with. If you haven't seen the show alone.

[A]

We'Re so late to the game. But God damn late to the game. Perfect.

[B]

And I said it at Largo. I said, has anyone here ever seen the show alone? And no one has. I know, but people are sleeping.

[A]

That was another moment where you said, has anyone ever seen Alone, like so fast.

[B]

I was going too fast.

[A]

And nobody knew what scene.

[B]

Alone. Yeah, no, it. It has its cost.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But there's a TV show and it's on Hulu. Hulu. And it's on the History Channel as well. And it's called Alone. And this is what Joe Manny said. It's people starving to get death. It's people starving to death.

[A]

Yeah. Just watching people starve to death.

[B]

So they put them in the woods and they have to live there possibly for a year.

[A]

Up to a year. But it doesn't.

[B]

Every season they go about 60 days or something.

[A]

Yeah, but they're. What they're trying to do is be the last one standing.

[B]

And they all have families, in case you're wondering. Every single one of them says goodbye to like two children and a wife.

[A]

Not every single one.

[B]

Almost every single one. And you're screaming at the screen. Especially before I knew it was only two months. Two months is still a long ass time. But I thought they were all saying goodbye for a year. And they are kind of like potentially. And my bit was like, every single one of them deserves to be cheated on. Like that is. You've broken the covenant. If you go on a real.

[A]

Yeah, it's like voluntary. You're going to go camping for a year.

[B]

For a year. And I. And they all. It's like, I Have a baby.

[A]

Yeah. Like our child is going to be walking when you get back. Our baby, you know, like, terrible, brutal.

[B]

But they cast that because they want. People that are like that want to go home to show the human spirit. It's more interesting.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's fucking amazing. My quote, when we were watching it, I was like, this is actually the only TV show. Like, it's funny and it's dramatic. I was like, I thought other shows were TV shows. It turns out Alone is the only show.

[A]

Only show. Everything else is just doing an impression of a TV show.

[B]

That's right. I love yelling, eat shit. Because I have no. I. I just don't have sympathy. But then I do. At first I didn't.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And now I care about them.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Worry about them.

[A]

I know. We worry so much. We very scared.

[B]

But so we're watching that. And there's nothing better than watching people starving in the woods. Except watching people starving in the woods while you eat a peach cobbler, which, by the way, apple pie. But as soon as peaches are involved, we're making shoes.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Why is it a cobbler?

[A]

You can have an apple cobbler.

[B]

You can.

[A]

Yeah. The difference between a pie and a cobbler, if one is cobbler, understanding is one you make with your shoes on your hands. Am I doing this right? You mash the peaches with your shoes.

[B]

We mash p. Oh, we should have gone to the mid roll. Shouldn't we have? Well, Katie's just gonna have to put him at some random point.

[A]

Stay tuned. To find out what a gobbler is. No, the. Yeah, she'll just put it in.

[B]

She'll just put it in.

[A]

We. So a pie, you, like, make a crust on the bottom that goes all the way around a cobbler.

[B]

It's just on the top.

[A]

You're clumping on dough.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Cobbler is. Whoops, I forgot the crust.

[A]

Yeah. And then a crumble is. You crumble the dough and you just kind of crumble it on top. And it's like brown crumble is a small cobbler. Yeah. And it's a slightly different dough.

[B]

All Hollywood comes in. Explain. It's a little stodgy, isn't it? But I reached out and they were. They were like, do you want to be on Celebrity? Sometimes there's. There's show business goofs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I got an email from my manager that was like, they want you to be on Celebrity. Great British Bake Off.

[A]

And we were freaking out.

[B]

I my pants and was like, I'm a huge fan. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yes. Can't wait. And then you. You did something you don't normally do, and you told all of our friends.

[A]

No, I didn't. I told two friends that we were sitting at the table with.

[B]

Okay. I made the story slightly better. I thought you mentioned it.

[A]

No.

[B]

At two different places. I don't think I have a memory of you mentioning it twice.

[A]

Okay, maybe I did.

[B]

So quite a few people knew in my story.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then my manager was like, oh. They were just. It was an avail check. They just wanted to see if you were available. And then you say yes. And then they might pick you, but they might not. And guess who they didn't pick. So when you're watching it, Celebrity Great British Bake Off. Just imagine if I. If I was there.

[A]

You would be so good. It's their loss.

[B]

It's their loss in it.

[A]

It's their.

[B]

Hey, Paul, your steely eyes look the other way, didn't they? They look quite away from me, and I don't like it.

[A]

But you were eating a peach cobbler.

[B]

Oh, so I ate the cobbler. I ate the cobbler. And when I say this was like throwing a Volkswagen in a clock towers, like, engine. Like the gears. You know, those giant gears that keep a clock tower going. Yeah, I was that clock tower. That's why I was like three weeks all happy. I was fucking rocking it.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Getting up early, exercising, fucking nailing it. Like, the sun's barely up. And I've already done, like three. Three incredible things for myself. Opening my heart. I was reading. I'm reading James Finley's book the Healing Path, which is incredible, by the way. If anyone's listening, if anyone's looking for a book. I mean, if anyone. If anyone's out there, are you there, audience? It's me, podcaster. Okay. But that book will open your heart. Like a jaw, like a. Like a Jaws of life.

[A]

Life.

[B]

Okay, okay. And. And then I had a cobbler. Guys, I say this for real. For real, Pharrell. Even that, like, I hadn't been with, like, hard sugar. Like, I'll nibble. Dibble.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I'm not a double. I. I don't avoid. I actually think this is the way to live.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like, I'll. With a little cook cookie or something's happening.

[A]

I'll.

[B]

With the little cookie. I'll eat a little. Maybe a couple skittles. I don't give a. I don't give.

[A]

A. I've never seen you eat skittles.

[B]

I actually can't think of what I'm saying. But, like, if something had a little sugar, I wasn't being, like, zero sugar.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But I hadn't honked down on a cobbler in a long time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Here it is. I also ate, like, a pack, a half a pack of graham crackers, which are just flat cracker cookies.

[A]

Oh, they're cookies.

[B]

So I'm chasing the cobbler with cracker cookies. I go to bed, like, within the hour of eating this shit. And I woke up. And it wasn't just that I was unmotivated.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I couldn't do shit. It was that I was bubbling with rage.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you have that book, change your hormones, change your life.

[A]

Or control your hormones, balance your hormones.

[B]

Balance your hormones, balance your life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I haven't read it, but you told me that sugar is one of the.

[A]

Things that it's like, kind of the worst.

[B]

And I'm not even. I've had cobbler, by the way. That cobbler you made, I had as a dessert from a meal our friends cook. And we had cobbler. It was incredible.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

I'm talking late night, full tray cobbler.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Talking like a binge. Like, the spirit of it was, I'm chasing something. I need this. I don't know. I'm not even really enjoying it. I'm just kind of honking it down.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it just fucked me. And, like, Lilo, we had no food in the house. And, like, I'm trying to make her breakfast. I ended up making. Making or three breakfasts. And, like, I just don't like to think of myself this way. But, like, I was impatient. Like, it was like, leela, we don't have any food, man. Like, I'm trying. Like, when you're trying to, like, reason.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know why you're asking for avocado, too. We don't have avocado. Like, that sort of thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then, of course, getting down and being like, I'm sorry, I'm frustrated. Like, I'm frustrated because you're asking for something we don't have. But still, it was like a fail. The part. The worst part of the story was at a certain point, she was just like, mama. And I was like, yeah, we need mama. And I thought you had earplugs in or something. So I just go, mama. And, like, scared the shit.

[A]

And she's already really. She was, like, crying. So I woke up to.

[B]

Crying is generous. She was in a shaky.

[A]

I heard her crying hard.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because I remember I. My Version of it was like, I woke up to her crying, and I was like, what happened?

[B]

Here's what happened. Happen.

[A]

And I was like, out of that bed.

[B]

Yeah. You were amazing, and you saved me. And this is an embarrassing story. And I. I. Well, my ego wants.

[A]

Very relatable.

[B]

I wasn't like, yell. Nothing was saying. I wasn't being mean or anything. I was just completely and repeatedly exasperated.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, I made her a smoothie. This is a good example. I made her a smoothie. She said, I'll have a smoothie with strawberries and honey. You got it. I made her a strawberry and honey smoothie. I also put some stuff, like, healthier stuff, but she can't taste that. And then I gave it to her, and she didn't want it because it had milk in it. And I was like, you just wanted straw. It's a smoothie. It has to have a base.

[A]

Not.

[B]

Yeah, she won't even drink it. And I'm, like, looking at, like, the last ingredients. It was also like, if I make her the smoothie, I can't have a smoothie. But I was like, that's fine. The smoothie. Just pour it down the drain. And I can just tell I'm. Because I'm like, fine, I'll just pour it in the garbage. Like, thinking she'll be like, you're right, dad. Let me try. But this is a baby.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She's.

[A]

She was also in a bad mood, so she was.

[B]

She was. In a way.

[A]

It wasn't about the. The milk or the smoothie. She's trying. She, like, the subtext of what she's communicating to you is like, I don't know why, but I'm not okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And like, nothing feel is gonna make me feel better.

[B]

That's right. So three breakfasts later, literally.

[A]

Yeah. It was because you tried to make her something else and she didn't want.

[B]

Was unbelievable.

[A]

Which is so frustrating. I know that feeling.

[B]

Then I got in the car after you were up to drive to do a podcast, and I was just, like, so ashamed. I realized that, like, my. One of my biggest fears is that there's this rage monster in me. And I certainly didn't rage, but I was overwhelmed and exasperated and wasn't hiding it. Like, I couldn't just be smiley and fake.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It was coming out.

[A]

Well, you shouldn't be.

[B]

I know. But then I had an incredible podcast. It's the Steven Pressfield episode. My heart was completely open. I was broken. And it was exactly. I saw the grace of brokenness And I didn't think I was like. It was like, nothing is learned when I can just kind of roll with it and be like, oh, no, smoothie. Okay, let's pour it down my butt. And making jokes about it. Like, it was in that brokenness that I felt new aspects of, like, divine love and understanding. So we have this thing on the show. I say it all the time, which is what I'm trying to be compassionate for others, which is, if I were you, I'd be you, you know? Oh, Trump at it again. Yeah, if I was Trump, I'd be Trump. If I had his past, if I hit his brain, his surroundings, his psychology, his trauma, his everything, I would be him. It doesn't mean everybody can. We can challenge or hold account or whatever. I'm just saying it helps. With my parents, I wish my dad would this. Well, if I was my dad, I'd be my dad. Right. And I do that to understand others.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But then I went, wait. And we've had this revelation many times. I'm not outside of this understanding. And I was upstairs feeling ashamed, and I thought, if I were me, I'd be me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was like, with my body, my psychology, including what I ate. I don't know if it's the cobbler, but I feel like it had something to do with the cobbler. What I ate, what I dreamt, how I slept, how my body feels, my psychology, my. I also unfortunately took out my phone to write something down and saw, like, annoying ass work emails and scheduling off shit and getting freaked out. And I was like, yeah, that's what freaks Pete out.

[A]

Right? You're just being Pete.

[B]

You're just being Pete.

[A]

Pete being Pete.

[B]

And you. If someone else was that way, you would. You would say, I understand. Like, you would see it. But we've had this revelation before, but it was just nice to say, yeah, if I were a me, I'd be me. And this is me being me. Even in the ways that I don't really. Like, we can say, yeah, there's certain things that totally repeat.

[A]

It doesn't have to be a huge serious thing when you have, you know, like, it's the shame about the feeling. You eliminated the shame about the feeling.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So you just had the feeling and then you realize, oh, right, this is just a weather system and it will pass. And it's unique to me. And it is not like. It's like, these are the things that bother Pete. So in that way, it's personal, but it also isn't personal in the way that we take it. You know what I mean? Like, it's not this huge fundamental error in nature that you are that way. It's just like. Yeah, that's just kind of what freaks beat out. And I'll.

[B]

It was.

[A]

It was fun.

[B]

It was a beautiful moment. And then I also noticed that, like. And we've had this revelation before, too, but when I'm broken and I turn to something like A Course in Miracles, or I read James Finley's beautiful book, or I read Greg's father, Greg's book, or anything that I'm trying to get into my spirit. If I'm broken, it gets in, like, liquid metal, like, pouring through all of the cracks, like, getting right into me. I go from, like, a cartoon character to, like, a waffle iron, if that makes sense. And. And there. And that truth is the waffle batter, and it just gets right into me, and it bakes up golden brown.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm a donkey with a dick the size of the moon. I'm a donkey with a dick the size of the moon.

[A]

I'm gonna try to do the singing game.

[B]

He lives on a big old C. Okay, you have to start shaped by the bar. Favorite characters. Zach.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And when he's eating pudding, he eats a snack pack. He likes the chocolatey ones. Keep his snack pack black. Keep his snack pack black. Look at my thickness. This is ridiculous. Check out the thickness. I'm feeling kind of hungry. I'm getting kind of whisky. Thank you for listening. And please keep crispy. You have to say it.

[A]

Keep it crispy.