Transcript

Valerie (0:00)

You made it weird. You made it weird. You made it weird. Oh, yeah.

Pete Holmes (0:06)

You made it weird. Yes.

Valerie (0:09)

You made it weird.

Pete Holmes (0:12)

You made it weird with Pete Holmes. Hey, Bow. Bow.

Valerie (0:19)

What's happening, weirdo?

Pete Holmes (0:22)

We're so glad you're here. Thank you for tuning in. This. I know I always say this, but I always feel this. This was the highlight of my week. I really loved it. We. We unpacked things, we got in things, and we had lots of laughs. So that's the show.

Valerie (0:34)

Yeah, that's the show. Just listen to it and. And then you'll know.

Pete Holmes (0:38)

And then you'll know. Anybody new to the show? This is the bonus Friday episode where Val and I catch up, and we're so glad you're here. And thank you to everybody who came out to the show in LA. I'm going to Chicago, Texas, Pennsylvania. Other places go to PeteHomes.com for my tour dates. Means so much that everybody's been coming out. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. And if you like the show, please try a pizza pick. I'm super stoked for both of these Pete's Picks. I just slept really great because of one of them. So, Katie, roll that beautiful bean footage. Weirdos. I am so excited to introduce a new Pete's Pick, which has improved the quality of my sleep. Since the first time I used it, I've been absolutely hooked. It's a dramatic and drastic difference in my life because. Because it's dramatically and drastically improved my sleep. And it is hostage tape. You've probably seen it on social media. These guys are everywhere. If you're like me, you were skeptical. You thought mouth taping was insane. Even if you've heard Dr. Huberman talk about the benefits. Even if breathing through your nose means, like, 20% more oxygen, which is incredible for your sleep, for your brain, for your body. Even if mouth tape reduces your risk of sleep apnea, even if it helps with snoring, it helps, in my case, eliminated it overnight, literally. Much to Val's delight and my daughter's delight. Even if it helps with oral hygiene and bad breath, I was still worried that if I put on mouth tape, I would feel trapped or claustrophobic or would have restricted, difficult breathing. But I put it on and boom, just like that. It was the opposite. Immediately, your brain just gets the message. Oh, gentle. Oh, I guess we're breathing through our nose. No problem. Got it done. I literally didn't think about it until the morning when I was peeling it off after an incredible night's rest where I dreamt the whole night. So not only did I feel fantastic and ready to start my day, I had literally memories of epic dreams. And you only dream when you're having deep restful REM sleep. So I had proof right there that my sleep is had improved dramatically. I went from a couple dreams here and there to a night of dreams because of my deep, deep sleep. Because of hostage Hostage tape. I shed it. Kind of weird because of hostage tape. I tried it once. I'm hooked for life. I've tried other brands in the past and I hated it. It was. It was the way it smelled, the way it stayed on too strong. Hostage tape is perfect. It doesn't smell like super glue right under your nose. And it's the perfect mix of strong and gentle to take off in the morning. Even if you have a beard, it is easy to remove. They are the official sleep and breathing aid of the UFC for a reason. They're the real deal and we have a special offer. You can try it for free. Just pay 8 bucks 8.95 shipping and handling. You'll get a sample pack and sleep better tonight. Support this show. Support your sleep. Support your body. $8.95 shipping and handling gets you a free sample pack. Go to hostage tape.com/weird. This is not me reading an ad. This is me telling you about something that has absolutely transformed my life. HostageTape.com weird. We're also brought to us by our friends at Armor. I just took my armor this morning. You've probably also seen armor all over social media as well. These guys are out here. What is it? It is Colostrum. What is Colostrum? It's the first nutrition we receive in life that contains all of the essential nutrients of our bodies need to thrive and armor. Colostrum makes little packets and little containers. That is a powdered colostrum. Some of them are flavored, which are incredible. Some of them are unflavored. Throw it in water, throw it in a smoothie and you are getting stuck. To reactivate hair growth, glowing skin, reducing inflammation and puffiness in your face and neck, as well as stimulating stem cells to produce collagen and increase elasticity. Talking about your metabolism, fortifying your gut, health, boosting igniting your metabolism so you feel less bloated and lighter. I can speak to that. My stomach feels completely different. It feels clear and clean and basically when I don't have any food in there, it feels empty. Now because I have this support in my life, it also replenishes your microbiome. Stabilizing blood sugar and accelerating fat burning as well as fueling your fitness, performance and recovery. Armor Colostrum. A proprietary concentrate of bovine colostrum that harnesses over 400 living bioactive nutrients that rebuild the barriers of your body and fuel cellular cellular health for a host of research backed health benefits. It's natural, it's sustainable. Grass fed in the usa, they guarantee the highest potency and bioavailability of any colostrum on the market. Try it. Get it in your life. I take it two, three times a day. My family will be sick. I'm just rocking it. I've started putting it in Leela's smoothies and it is incredible. Try a R M r A armor. Tryarmora.com weird or enter weird to get 15 off. That's T R Y A R M R A dot com weird. All right, everybody, I do want to say I got that from Matt McCarthy. Matt McCarthy always says, roll that beautiful bean footage.

Summary

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Episode: We Made It Weird #176

Release Date: May 10, 2024
Host: Pete Holmes
Co-Host: Valerie (“Val”)

Overview

In this episode of the Friday bonus “We Made It Weird,” Pete Holmes and his wife, Valerie, take listeners on a deeply honest, meandering, and often hilarious journey through comedy, creativity, depression, and the art of holding space for difficult feelings. The episode is an exploration of what it means to navigate the weirdness and profundity of everyday life, with plenty of anecdotes, impressions, self-reflection, and laughter throughout.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Humor, Inclusivity, and “If You Know, You Know” Culture

Pete and Val riff on exclusionary language like “if you know, you know” and “if you have to ask, you’ll never know,” exploring how those phrases can make outsiders feel unwelcome.
Impersonations and comedy analysis: Pete tries out a Phil Rosenthal impression that slays with kids but not adults (08:10), reflecting on how the right context changes comedic impact.
- Pete (08:56): “When I did it for his kids and they absolutely died, I think that’s the bigger compliment.”

2. Why Do We Watch People Eat? The Allure of Food TV

Food shows and “food porn”: They entertain the mystery of why people love watching others eat on TV—comparing it to “food porn.”
- Pete (11:18): “That is how you porn. Like, they call it food porn... If you really want it to be food porn, you have to eat food. And it’s not as good as what’s happening on the screen—but that’s just like porn.”

3. The Musicality of Comedy

Comedy as music: Pete and Val break down how comedic timing has a rhythm, referencing Steve Martin’s use of “pizzazz” and the way jokes can be mapped musically (17:49 - 20:01).
Pete (19:11): “There is a music to it... The time signature is the audience. But then once you’re in it, you can kind of start feeling out the rhythm, which I think is interesting.”

4. Depression, Acceptance, and “Chunk Funk”

Pete opens up about his depression (“chunk funk”): He describes it as an “Ewok” whispering nihilism and the effort it takes not to resist or judge it.
- Pete (22:28): “I’ve been trying to really do the thing of, like, if I feel this way the rest of my life, it’s OK. And that has been helping.”
Val’s philosophy: All emotions need to be held and cradled (“cradle the Ewok”), not pushed away or only accepted in the hope they’ll disappear.
- Val (25:03): “Not doing it to get rid of the Ewok... You actually have to love this in order for it to start to change.”

5. Spirituality, Non-Duality, and Rupert Spira

Integration of feelings and awareness: Drawing on Rupert Spira and other spiritual teachers, they talk about embracing all feelings as objects in awareness that do not tarnish the innate peaceful “space.”
- Pete (27:13): “It’s like a mother’s arms around a child... It’s being held and supported and embraced.”
- Val (28:51): “She still doesn’t get that toy. But it just—the holding made it...”
Feelings are transient: Referencing Tara Brach and spiritual teachings to reinforce that all feelings (good and bad) come and go, so peace can’t be dependent on a particular feeling.
- Pete (30:45): “There’s no permanent feeling.”

6. The Cost and Gift of Comedic Brilliance

The “devil’s twist” for comedians: If you always know the funniest thing to say, the “cost” is being compelled to say it—even when it’s inappropriate—which can distance comedians from “normal reality.”
- Pete (14:51): “You’d be the funniest person in the world...but guess what? That’s what it’s going to be like on your wedding day... There is a cost.”

7. Vulnerability in Comedy

Reflection on SmartLess podcast: Val recounts Sean Hayes getting emotional with Steve Martin and Martin Short and how even comedy legends can be uncomfortable with raw emotion (46:28).
- Val (47:27): “That was the most vulnerability he could muster..."

8. Revisiting Childhood: Tapes from Pete’s Youth

Playing an old comedy tape Pete and his brother made as kids—they analyze their early creative instincts, sibling dynamics, and how childlike chaos and playfulness shaped Pete’s comedic style (57:03–65:54).
- Pete (65:25): “There’s a way that kids laugh, that only kids laugh. I can’t believe I made that laugh. It’s the purest…”

9. Parenting, Big Feelings, and Community

Thanking supportive listeners: After discussing their daughter Lila’s big emotions in a previous episode, Val acknowledges listeners who reached out with their own stories (70:36).
Honest parenting talk: They contrast the real, messy experience of parenting with sanitized social media versions, emphasizing the importance of sharing the hard parts.
- Pete (74:59): "Different things grow that wouldn't have grown otherwise. But it’s not as clean as some of the Mommy Vlogs make it seem.”

10. Original Poetry and Expressive Practice

Val reads a poem she wrote about spring, transformation, and renewal as part of her writer’s group process, offering a gentle close to the episode (76:48–78:09).
- Excerpt:
  “Spring always comes and catches me by surprise each time.
  That mysterious force that tells the white roses and pink honeysuckle to bloom all around our house...
  The joy that comes in the morning as we used to sing in church.
  The resurrection after the brutal death.
  The light shining on what was once a bottomless darkness.”

Memorable Quotes

On Comedy and Exclusion:
- Valerie (06:52): “Or like, if you know, you know. Well, I don’t mind that, actually. Actually, because a lot of times I do know.”
- Pete (07:07): “Yeah. I guess I just, I don’t like being excluded from like, Jazz—‘if you have to ask, you’ll never know.’”
On Self-Critique and Mental Health:
- Pete (22:50): “I haven’t been working out. That’s been the biggest change. Like, I really can’t work out. And I’m not creating, like, I’m not writing... just feeling the blues.”
- Val (22:50): “All feelings just want to be cradled and held.”
On Transience and Acceptance:
- Pete (30:41): “There’s no permanent feeling. So he’s like, why are you postponing your awakening until you’re having this—like, bliss fountain to shoot up your butt?”
On Parental Realness:
- Pete (72:05): “...Parenting just is the most wonderful and the one—wonderful and challenging thing you’ll ever do.”
- Valerie (74:02): “Let’s talk about the stuff that we don’t get to talk about, really.”
On Childlike Joy:
- Pete (65:25): “There’s a way that kids laugh, that only kids laugh...It’s the purest.”
On Transformation and Poetry:
- Valerie, reading her poem (76:50):
  “Spring always comes and catches me by surprise each time... The resurrection after the brutal death. The light shining on what was once a bottomless darkness.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

06:30: Comedy about exclusionary in-jokes and language
08:10: Pete’s Phil Rosenthal impression and reflection on comedy for kids vs. adults
10:21: Analysis of food TV, “food porn,” and the psychology of watching people eat
17:49: The musicality of comedy and comedic timing
20:01–24:24: Pete discusses his depression (“chunk funk”), Val offers acceptance strategies
25:03: The importance of holding emotions with love, not with the intent to fix them
27:13: Spiritual perspective on feelings as objects held in awareness
30:41: Discussion on the impermanence of all feelings; peace as our true nature
46:28: The cost of comedic brilliance & reflecting on SmartLess podcast with Martin Short and Steve Martin
57:03–65:54: Playback and analysis of Pete and his brother’s childhood comedy tape
70:36: Parenting, gratitude for listener support, and reflections on big feelings in children
76:48–78:09: Valerie reads an original poem about renewal and spring

Episode Tone & Style

Warm, vulnerable, goofy, and philosophical
Frequent gentle ribbing and supportive banter between Pete and Valerie
Willingness to linger in both the funny and the uncomfortable parts of life

Closing Thoughts

This episode embodies the “We Made It Weird” ethos: finding the profundity and absurdity in daily life, laughing through the darkness, and learning to embrace all the “weirdness” that makes us human. From analyses of comedic genius to explorations of spiritual acceptance and honest confessions about parenting and mental health, Pete and Val hold space for both silliness and sincerity.
For the listener, it’s a reminder that no feeling lasts forever, everyone is funny in their own way, and there's beauty to be found even in struggle.

Closing Quote:
Pete (79:07): “That was beautiful, Valerie. Thank you so much.”
Val (79:09): “Thank you.”