We Made It Weird #180

Summary

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Episode: We Made It Weird #180 (June 7, 2024)

Hosts: Pete Holmes, Valerie
Guest: Leela (appears throughout)

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Episode Overview

This week’s “We Made It Weird” is a radiant, freewheeling, and deeply vulnerable conversation between Pete, his wife Valerie, and their daughter Leela. It’s packed with characteristically silly humor, musical riffs, and playful tangents—but also, the episode’s heart lies in rich discussion about creative flow, therapy revelations, the profound resonance of making things together, parenting, and the perpetual dance of honoring your true, weird self.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Embracing Silliness and the Joy of Music

• The episode begins with goofy song improv, notably “Last Dance with Mary Jane,” sparking a riff about musicians, misheard lyrics, and comedic impressions.
• Pete and Valerie play off each other, joking about Rick Rubin, Paul Reubens, and the world of improvised music in podcasting.
• Memorable Moment: Valerie impersonates a male vocalist while Pete laughs about the impossibility of not “sounding like a man.” (09:00)

Notable Quote:

“I can't sound like a man and not sound like I'm trying to sound like a man.” – Valerie (09:00)

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2. Therapy Journeys: Coping, Honoring, and Internal Family Systems

• Pete shares insights from his new somatic/internal family systems therapist, contrasting with his former, “hyper-masculine, heady, coping” therapist (Dr. Gary Penn).
• Discussion about coping strategies versus honoring or surrendering to feelings:
  • Pete’s Former Approach: Powering through emotions (“I’m not your bitch, Anheuser-Busch” — Pete on quitting drinking, 15:41)
  • Now: Emphasizing surrender, honoring, and blending emotions as a path to peace.

Notable Quote:

“I realized… it became, I’m not your bitch, Anheuser-Busch.” – Pete Holmes (15:41)

• Valerie contributes thoughts on “being a power bottom” in life (“thrust your hips high in the air and take back the night” — 16:24).

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3. Childhood, Creativity, and Therapy’s Impact

• Pete discusses “revisiting his childhood bedroom” in therapy, likening it to leaving a piece of himself behind—the “127 hours” arm metaphor.
• He notes the importance of talking to your inner-child—not as a mystical exercise, but as a profoundly human part of therapy.
• Pete challenges cultural stigmas, especially for men: “Therapy isn’t selfish; it’s arguably selfish not to do it.” (27:24)
• The conversation meanders into ways therapy fosters richer, more present moments—“this moment brought to you by therapy.”

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4. The Flow State, Making Art, and Directing

• Valerie’s Big News: She directed her short film and describes being in “a 48-hour flow state.”
  • She highlights how total immersion in directing led to hyper-focus, presence, and, interestingly, relief from typical day-to-day anxieties.
  • Valerie reflects: leading a creative team allowed her to “control reality,” in contrast to the chaos of parenting.

Notable Quotes:

“It was the opposite of [being scattered]... the only thing that exists is, does this light look like morning, or does this frame…” – Valerie (34:17) “It felt like coming down from the best psychedelic trip.” – Valerie (46:34)

• The difference between creative control in art versus the lack of control in parenting is warmly discussed.
• Pete and Valerie observe that what she loves about directing is creating an “environment and an experience”—the same through-line found in planning weddings, hosting parties, and teaching.

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5. Parenting, Imagination, and Play

• The hosts reflect on their daughter Leela’s world of pretend and the gradual “walls” children build as they get older.
• Valerie expresses her hope that Leela will retain her imagination, perhaps via theater or the arts.
• Pete observes the universality of “connection” — in art, sports, or play, the process of people working together is vitalizing:
  • “Everything good is connection.” – Pete Holmes (50:06)
• They discuss the sadness of kids losing innocence/creativity due to socialization (“Someone will make fun of her for talking to herself…” — Valerie 51:24)

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6. Vulnerability, Arts, and the Gerard Carmichael Analogy

• Pete compares Valerie’s journey into directing with the public “coming out” of comedian Gerard Carmichael:
  • The analogy is about stepping into one’s power and authenticity—Val embracing her creative “outness.”
  • They briefly discuss the rawness and discomfort of Carmichael’s reality show, praising its courage and refusing to chase likability.

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7. The Cyclical Nature of Creative Ruts and Solutions

• Pete talks about feeling “stuck,” and realizing, once again, the most helpful reset is to simply change routines.
  • Example: Stop smoking weed if you’re in a rut, or vice versa—breaking patterns to jolt creativity.
  • Emphasis on “honoring the child-self” and allowing playfulness to loosen up creative blocks.

Notable Quote:

“When I’m stuck, change what you’re doing… If you’re smoking weed, stop smoking. If you’re exercising, stop exercising. If you’re sleeping a lot, sleep a little, if you’re not traveling, travel…” – Pete Holmes (67:30)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Directing vs. Parenting:

  “It’s not an easy job, but it felt surprisingly easy in comparison to being a parent where you’re always trying to direct someone and they almost never do what you want them to do.” – Valerie (35:49)

• On the Nature of Creative Collaboration:

  “Human beings pointed in the same direction—there’s nothing like it.” – Pete Holmes (48:35)

• On Inner Child and Therapy:

  “I was honoring that [child-self’s] creativity; it wasn’t to change me… he just wanted me to go, like, wow.” – Pete Holmes (66:00)

• On Letting Go:

  “That part is stoned—even though I’m not stoned now—but, like, stone your critic.” – Valerie (69:18)

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Timestamps By Topic

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | | ----------- | -------------------------------------------------------- | | 06:00–10:00 | Musical improv (Tom Petty, impressions, podcasting music)| | 13:34–17:00 | Pete’s therapy journey: coping vs. honoring | | 25:45–31:00 | On “Nirvana the Band the Show” & importance of silliness | | 33:25–35:30 | Valerie’s experience directing her short film | | 40:46–42:12 | Directing, creative needs, and overcoming voice blocks | | 50:06–52:57 | The importance of connection and collaborative play | | 57:35–58:52 | “Body swap” metaphor; embracing true identity | | 60:24–62:32 | Gerard Carmichael’s reality show: cringe and vulnerability| | 67:30–69:18 | Breaking ruts: changing behavior to get unstuck |

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Tone & Style

• Playful, tangential, vulnerable, and laughter-filled, with sharp self-awareness
• Honest (sometimes cringingly so), self-deprecating, and supportive between Pete and Valerie
• Open, safe exploration of creativity, family, therapy, and weirdness

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Concluding Thought

The episode ultimately champions “honoring your weirdness,” the healing power of presence, and re-learning how to play—whether in art, parenthood, or just the strange, delightful scenarios of everyday life.

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For full musical impressions and the emotional highs of Val’s directorial breakthrough, don’t miss (33:00–35:30), and for raw, honest wisdom on vulnerability and creativity, pay special attention to moments at (44:16, 50:06, 67:30).

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(All timecodes in MM:SS format refer to approximate transcript times.)

Transcript

[Pete Holmes]

You made it weird. You made it weird. You made it weird. Oh, yeah. You made it weird. Yes, you did. Made it weird.

You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

[Valerie]

What's happening here? This is a real freaky dinky.

[Pete Holmes]

This is a humdinger. I can't believe we got out of it.

[Valerie]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

It was like. I don't know. It was a happening. I feel like a big jelly slime creature rolled over the whole town and took us over. That was this chat and then spat us out. The end. And now I'm like. It's like a dream upon waking.

[Valerie]

I know. So you're gonna have to tell us how it went because we have been in a jelly monster.

[Pete Holmes]

I think it was fantastic. I call it early on that this is a re. Listen. This is like a fun, silly one, and I think there's beautiful depth and an update on Val's short film success. Spoiler.

[Valerie]

Spoiler.

[Pete Holmes]

So we're so happy you're here. Come see me on the road. Thank you to everybody who came out to Largo last month. I do a show in Los Angeles at the Largo Theater every month. Next one will be incredible. Go to largo-la.com for tickets to that and petehomes.com for tickets. I'm going to be in Houston and just outside of Pittsburgh, and we'll be adding more dates presently, so just go to PeteHomes.com for tour dates. And if you like the show, please try a Pete's Pick. These are ads for things that I actually use and actually love. So if they're at all interesting to you and you like the show and you want to say thanks, this is a way to give back and say thank you. Get one of these products, you get the product bonus, you get the product. Okay, I've oversold it. Katie, roll that beautiful bean footage.

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[Pete Holmes]

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[Pete Holmes]

Decided.

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[Pete Holmes]

Gentle on an empty stomach.

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Pete Holmes]

All right, everybody, we're glad you're here. Thank you and enjoy your weekend, but start it now with this.

[Valerie]

The weekend starts now. Get into it. Oh, Lord, help us. The guitar's out. He's got crazy eyes right now.

[Pete Holmes]

She grew up in an Indiana town Had a good looking moment and there was a rabbit. She grew up toy. She grew up right with them in there. Boys on the minimum knives.

[Valerie]

Oh, Jesus.

[Pete Holmes]

Take it, baby. But I gotta keep moving. Where?

[Valerie]

Oh my.

[Pete Holmes]

I jumped. Moving on.

[Valerie]

Just get to the part that I know you know the part. Wait, when does he say oh my?

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, it's right here.

[Valerie]

Oh, my.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my, my. Oh, hell yes. Gotta put it on that potty drink. It was too cold to. It was too cold to cry when I woke up.

[Valerie]

Her body's trying to stop this.

[Pete Holmes]

Walk to the music. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the show. The thing about music, we're doing a.

Six part exploration of music.

[Valerie]

Music. And it starts with Last Dance with Mary Jane. Of course.

[Pete Holmes]

The story of that is Rick Rubin. Heard they were jamming TP and the HB rip.

[Valerie]

How many stories start with they were jammin and Rick Rubin. Is it Ruben? Yeah, it's Ruben. It's Paul Rubens and it's Billy Ruben.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's funny because Rick Rubin looked like. Looked like he's had more than one Rubin and Paul Rubens looked like that guy probably had half a Ruben.

[Valerie]

He's only ever had half a Reuben.

[Pete Holmes]

The two Ruben guy is the singular Reuben.

[Valerie]

I wonder if they ever discuss. Switch Rubens.

[Pete Holmes]

Switch Rubens.

[Valerie]

Should we switch Reuben? Premium podcast material.

[Pete Holmes]

She grew up.

That just.

That she grew up.

That's fine. Yeah, that was good, right?

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Valerie]

What do you mean?

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, like, you don't.

You don't know it's a comedy or a comedian or a non musician. Oh, at this point.

She grew up that time.

You did.

She grew up.

You do it. Do your best.

She grew up.

[Valerie]

Okay, but like, like where? It sounds like him, but it also doesn't sound like I'm faking it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, okay.

[Valerie]

Okay, Cue me in.

[Pete Holmes]

Let it play.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

She grew up. She grew up. She grew up. She grew up.

[Valerie]

I can't sound like a man and not sound like I'm trying to sound like a man.

[Pete Holmes]

Anton Shigra is an impossible ass. I'm sorry. Well, here's the. Oh, man.

[Valerie]

Let's just relax for a minute.

[Pete Holmes]

Here's my impression of, um, Like, Mike Birbiglius podcast is. Is this. They often will get. Because you can't have music that you didn't pay for, so they'll just hire someone to be like, well, do you mean his working it out?

[Valerie]

I know.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

That's like, his music working it out doesn't ever do that.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like, we talking about jokes here. Sounds like, whoa, working it out.

[Valerie]

It does not.

[Pete Holmes]

We're just kicking around bits right now.

There's a lot of reverb. Are you sure this isn't a murder docu series?

You know what I always think something about penguins. Flightless, icy birds. Is that anything? Working it out. Go ahead.

[Valerie]

I always think about that because he does the intro with that, like, ding, ding, ding, ding behind it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Valerie]

And then the. The when the singer just goes like, I'm working it out. It's always perfectly after the intro, which means the editor is probably, like, looping it or something, like, making it.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, they're back. They. They're back dating it. Like a check. That's fraud. No, what I'm saying is.

[Valerie]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

You were back dating it.

[Valerie]

You backdated that working. That's fraud.

[Pete Holmes]

That's fraud. That's fraud is up there with. That's assault for, like, one of the funniest things you can say. That's. Assault's a little dark, right? No, I know what you mean, but I think when somebody. When somebody's like, dog jumps on them and they're like, that's assault. People love yelling. That's assault.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What I'm saying is, if you're looking at a timeline, like, you're editing it and, you know, you want it to end where the guy's, like, working it out.

You.

You.

[Valerie]

Oh, they're playing first, like a check. Right.

[Pete Holmes]

That's fraud.

[Valerie]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

And then the arbitrary time when it fades in, that's really what's. It's backwards.

[Valerie]

It's backwards.

[Pete Holmes]

That's like Willy Wonka. Now flip it, flip it, Reverse it.

[Valerie]

It's like Mary J. Blige. Put your thing down. Flip it. No, that's Not Mary J. Blige.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes, it is.

[Leela]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it isn't.

[Valerie]

No, it's Missy Elliot. Missy Elliot?

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Missy Elliott Smith.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Pop it in. My first Sit.

[Valerie]

Put your thing down.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, Elliot Smith song. What's. What? Elliot Smith songs I should know. I. I used to know I'm in.

Love with the world through the eyes of a girl.

[Valerie]

That doesn't sound like an Elliot Smith song now, doesn't it? Like, you could do that so easily where it's like a Bare Naked lady song.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God.

[Valerie]

You know what I mean?

[Pete Holmes]

Except they'd be like, I'm in love with the world.

Oh, my God.

You've blown my dick off with a leaf blower. That's how delicately it's attached. I mean, like an off day.

[Valerie]

The dangling Bible.

[Pete Holmes]

Dangling part.

I don't have an eggnong.

I have a participle, and it is dangling. Sorry, is this the English Speakers convention? The joke bombs?

Why?

I'm really kind of freaking out that I can't remember all the Elliot Smith.

[Valerie]

Songs that, you know, and we really just aren't worried about.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. The content.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what it is? Here's something helpful.

[Leela]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Right off the dome.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Right at the beginning.

[Valerie]

Sure. Just get to it.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, okay. We've been watching. I think this podcast is deeply informed by the fact that we've been watching Nirvana, the band, the show.

[Valerie]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm gonna say.

[Valerie]

Just reminding us of who we are.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah. And I. I'm even going to tie it into some of my therapy. Lately is. Is I. It's been so incredible. This new. This new somatic internal family systems therapist. So we've talked a lot on this pod about how Dr. Gary Penn, who I adore and love and changed and transformed my life, what I would consider. He's really my second therapist, but I'll call. My first therapist was very heady and masculine and protector and, like, there was a. There was a lot of coping. Yeah. This is it. So there's a lot of coping.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And like, how do you. Oh, the world is overwhelming. Let's cope.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like. Like, I remember I've said this. A million on the pod. But a big. Gary Penn is like. Yeah. And forgive me course. Language. For an edited version, go to our website. Eat this American shit. You know what I mean? Here's the unedited version. It's raw, dude. He would take, like, his water bottle and he'd put on the edge of the table, and then he'd go, maybe you like it? More here. And then move it in 4 inches. And that makes you calm. But it's here. And he goes. It's true that Moving the glass 4 inches in makes you feel better, but don't be. It's bitch. Like, don't. Don't let it win. That's like a coping strategy was he was like, there's just certain times when you go, like, I'm right. My feelings are real. But I'm choosing to go like, yep. But I. I'm not gonna submit to that feeling. Like, I'm gonna power through that feeling.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Hyper masculine.

[Valerie]

It is hyper masculine.

[Pete Holmes]

But useful. Very useful.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I don't just mean in men's life, in everybody's life, there's times when you just go like, it. C' est la vie. You know, and you can't control it.

[Leela]

Right.

[Valerie]

It's kind of a form of surrender. It's like a massive form of surrender.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, remember when I quit drinking, the way that I quit was I didn't want to be its bitch. Like, that was my reframing of. I realized. Well, I don't even know how to say because I'm so used to saying I had been had.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, and I was tired of being tricked. Like, I made it a very, like, powerful thing to quit drinking. Not I don't drink anymore. It became I'm not your bitch anheuser bush.

[Valerie]

That's so funny because in Emily Gordon's wonderful book super your edit that out, she has a chapter, I think that's called making make your emotions your bitch or something like that.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. There's something.

[Valerie]

I hope I'm remembering that. Right. I don't want to.

[Pete Holmes]

This is a consequence free gamble.

[Leela]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

What is the risk? What is on the line right now?

[Valerie]

I know. I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm having fun, but.

[Valerie]

Yeah, but. So there is like a place for that. Oh, I was gonna say it's like being a power bottom.

[Pete Holmes]

It is. Be a power bottom in your life. Like, thrust your hips high in the air and take back the night. Take back the night.

[Valerie]

But that is. I think that that is. There is a time and place for that. That is certainly not always the answer.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it's absolutely not.

[Valerie]

I would say even less often the answer in my experience.

[Pete Holmes]

I agree. And as I've gotten older, I'm much more incorporated and enmeshing and like, blending and surrendering. It's allowing. Honoring. Huge honoring guy.

I'm a huge.

Honoring.

[Valerie]

Really big on honoring.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, I was just thinking about, like, defusing a fight the way you defuse a fight. It doesn't always work, obviously. But, like, trust me, but if you're trying to diffuse a fight, you just want to. You don't want to use these words, because fighting folk hate these words.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But you want to honor the reality of their feelings.

[Valerie]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

Like, you're like, yeah, he called you a. And that wasn't cool. Like, it's so funny that even the most flared up vein in your neck. Sleeveless leather vest. All vests are sleeveless. I suppose. A sleeved vest, brother.

[Sponsor Voice]

That's a shirt.

[Pete Holmes]

I would love this podcast.

[Valerie]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

I would be.

I know, like, marking it as a re. Listen, I'd be going, save this for a rainy day. And I'd be taking whatever I was saving for a rainy day out of that oversized pocket I've sewn to my wall. So I'm remove. Removering the. The frozen Charleston Chew, and I'm putting in this podcast.

[Valerie]

Why do you have a pocket sewn onto your.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a big floppy.

It's felt. I think we all saw that. It was like, felt.

[Valerie]

And we see the stitching.

[Pete Holmes]

Even though we see the stitching, we.

[Valerie]

Know it's impossible to stitch into a wall.

[Pete Holmes]

We know. But the. The designer put the stitch there to be folksy, even though we know it's hot. Glued to the wall.

[Valerie]

What color is the pocket? 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, an awkward gray. Blue. But that's what I see when I see green. That's right.

There's a felt pocket on the wall. And you know, the stitches are. But that green in the green.

[Valerie]

Aquamarine.

[Pete Holmes]

Aquamarine is the color of my p. And music was easier in the 90s before all the melodies were taken. And now it's up to ch.

Here's what I'm saying.

[Valerie]

I have tears.

[Pete Holmes]

I know. It's so fun. It's in my floppy pocket. It's like a Roald doll. BFG. If you picture the BFG2.

[Valerie]

I forgot what was in the box.

[Pete Holmes]

What's in that pot froze Charles Chew.

[Valerie]

Okay, but why again?

[Pete Holmes]

Because I was saving it for a rainy day. But we all know you can only save one thing for a rainy day. Or that is the premise of this is you can only save it.

[Valerie]

And you're taking the Charleston Chew out.

[Pete Holmes]

Someone's driving to work, and they have, like, a presentation, and they're like, I.

Can'T listen to this.

Like, it's, like, scrambling your mind. You're like, I can't.

I need to be focused. I need to put on Huberman Labs.

[Valerie]

Oh, my God. Or somebody is like. I really. Like, I've been going through it, and I need to hear, like, what Pete and Val have to say about, you know, spirituality and therapy. And they're getting frozen Charleston Jew in.

[Pete Holmes]

A pocket in a giant, floppy, Roald Dahl style BFG pocket. Like, it's as big as the BFG's back pocket. That's the fun of it.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

And he's got a big, big old ass.

[Pete Holmes]

But he's so bony.

[Valerie]

I know he doesn't.

[Pete Holmes]

I would have liked a more rotund.

[Valerie]

Yeah, I mean, it's in the name Big in general. I like them. I like them. You know, I like them a little thicker.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I get it.

[Valerie]

Not like, you know, just like, what do you think? Like, you. Yeah, I like a soft, giant gummy bear.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

But a thousand times bigger. Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like where the Wild Things Are.

[Leela]

Yes.

[Valerie]

I want James Gandolfini's voice in a hairy monster.

[Pete Holmes]

What are you guys doing over here?

You can't do it. You got a magical little boat. Oh, somebody has to have put in lines from the Sopranos over that guy because his voice over. So like, just putting, like, you. I'm gonna fucking kill you. Just putting it in the movie.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

I wonder. I see that. I love that movie so much. I do think it could have benefited.

[Pete Holmes]

From more of a Sopranos flavor.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

A little bit more about the mafia. No, I. From, like, what Wes Anderson did in for Fantastic Mr. Fox, where he had them record their. Their voiceover in nature.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, Val.

[Valerie]

Because it's so voiceovery.

[Pete Holmes]

You. First of all, why do we still have a problem that Wes Anderson solved?

[Valerie]

I know he already solved it.

[Pete Holmes]

For those that don't live in our life every day, Fantastic Mr. Fox, which is a Fantastic Mr. Movie, is obviously. It's an Bell. I just gave you, like a. I'm going. I'm going on. Stop laughing. Stop laughing. I'm moving on. Such a weird flare up of me being real. But they. They recorded the line like Clooney and Schwartzman and all those. All those fools were, like, outside in a field, and it gives it such a different quality, and there's just a. There's a surgical, pristine isolation to traditional voiceover. Some shows, like Bob's Burgers, record ensemble, so they're all in the room. The Simpsons was ensemble, which is great. They can bounce off one another. But so many shows. That was my problem. You know, full respect to BoJack Horseman. It was great, but I was like, none of these people have Met.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Not one of them has met. And there are shows that can pull that off. Bluey, they're not together.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

They never met, but it somehow. I guess that's good direction. Anyway, here's my point. White chocolate vein in his neck. All he wants to do is be honored. That's the funniest thing in the world. So there's a fight happening.

[Valerie]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

He's like, yeah, you spilled my Guinness.

[Valerie]

Oh, we're talking.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, we're back to fighting because we're back to honoring. And we're back to my therapist. And we're on to my second therapist.

[Valerie]

I believe you remembered that.

[Pete Holmes]

Am I a pharaoh?

[Valerie]

Maybe the.

[Pete Holmes]

The pasta pharaoh is a pasta.

[Valerie]

It might be a rice pharaoh. No.

[Pete Holmes]

Pharaoh.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Faro faucet. Fargo, this guy loves rice so much, he's got a pharaoh faucet. He's got hot water, cold water. He's got one that just lets out cooked rice. It's got a feral faucet.

[Valerie]

Oh, unfiltered.

[Pete Holmes]

This is unfiltered. And I'm Dracula dad and loving it. So I think it's really funny. So my new therapist is all about honoring. And we're watching Nirvana the band the show, and we're being very silly right now. And I'm loving it. And what happened. That's similar to watching Nirvana the band the show, which I was going to say the greatest tr. One of the greatest television tragedies is. That show isn't on Netflix.

[Valerie]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, you can't write a check for $3,000 and just make the whole country happy.

[Leela]

Happy.

[Valerie]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

You'd make everyone so happy. Nobody knows this show so good. The Canadian show.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

With some heavy heartedness. I've tried to buy it. Maybe you can get on DVD or something. But, you know, I watched a lot of it on YouTube. And then Matt Johnson, who created it with Jay, he emailed me the links, like private links, because you can't watch it in America. But we're watching it and it's helping us remember just how fucking fun it is. It was like, I don't know, sometimes you hear music and you just start dancing in a way. You haven't danced since you were a kid.

[Valerie]

Or you're like, man, I've been only listening to pop podcasts and audiobooks and I should be listening to music some. After this. I don't like that.

[Pete Holmes]

After that.

[Valerie]

After this.

[Pete Holmes]

After. Use promo code weird. Go to any website and just try promo code weird. It helps us. It helps us. If you buy anything, take the survey just say you heard about it on this show. Even if it's. Never mind. This riff is over.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So anyway.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

It's reminding us about silliness, silly billies.

[Pete Holmes]

And then in my new therapy, I've been really just sort of shocked going in and going into my childhood bedroom and, like, expecting it to be a house of horrors.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And like, just a lot of, like, you know, if I'm being real, like, blaming, like, my child self being like, where have you been? I'm mad at you. Like, you betrayed me. We were talking about how, like, 127 hours, like, I left, but, like, a piece of me still is in that house. Like, leaving your arm.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Behind you. Like, you had to cut your arm off.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So I've always felt all this guilt that I left and abandoned my mom, but I really feel like I. Both my mom and me, like, this child version of me. But what's been interesting is going back. And I always say this because I'm worried that it sounds so woo woo to say that you're talking to your child self, but I'm like, it's. It's you. You know what I mean? I'm not talking to Cleopatra.

[Valerie]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm talking to me. And it's there.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's crazy how much it's there.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And how real it is. I'm saying this all because, like, I was just doing an interview on someone else's podcast where it's like, in Boston, growing up, therapy was like, you know, and still is to a certain extent, in certain areas, sort of, you know, put down. And one of the things was that it's like, selfish. It's like, indulgent or navel gazing. And I was like, whenever I do this work and then afterwards, I'm playing cards with you and Leela at the table. I'm like, this moment brought to us by therapy. It's the least. It's selfish.

[Valerie]

It's arguably selfish not to know I wouldn't if I would need to.

[Pete Holmes]

Which, you know, I am one of those people that even if you're having a very peaceable, you know, easy life.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

There's always something.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

When I wake up in the morning, I'm always so. Because I get a. I've been still getting up early. I'm Dracula dead and loving it. And I always notice in the morning how, like, it really does feel like a door opens with you. Like, you wake up and sometimes it's before your feet even hit the floor. Like, you. I heard the 90s song, Everything's Fine. Do you remember that song? No.

Mother.

Aeroplane.

[Valerie]

That's right. He's still holding the guitar.

[Pete Holmes]

How's the family?

[Leela]

Oh yeah.

[Valerie]

How's it?

[Pete Holmes]

Perfect.

Still. Okay if I tell you what you wanna hear? I just figured out the cards would help you to sleep well at night it says, granted, I'm your perfect daughter.

Everything's fine.

Sorry. That was so bad.

[Valerie]

I went from thinking I knew that to then not sure that I don't.

[Pete Holmes]

Anyway, well, she. The chorus is her screaming everything's fine. And it's really not convincing.

[Valerie]

I don't think she's okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait a minute. Quick cue from the front row didn't rhyme.

Quick cue from the front view. If everything, everything's fine, why are you screaming?

But that, that was the feeling of the door opening as I woke up was like all of these potentials just like, sort of like a. Like a bazaar. Someone is laying out all the wares that you could choose to worry about.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's interesting. Like, I don't know if it's part of my therapy or what's been going on, but something really nice to share on the pod is that there's still plenty to do and think about and worry about and, you know, take care of, I guess you could say. And yet I've been feeling more and more just kind of like okay with that. In the morning it's easy because you go like, it's 5:30 in the morning. I don't think you have to solve this right now. But that's kind of true all the time.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Barring very few actual Jaguar chasing new things, it's really, really helpful to go like, am I operating under the assumption that this needs to be solved right now? And I had this with, with AI, Remember last week we were like, why am I depressed? All I do is watch AI videos and non duality, the universe isn't real videos.

[Valerie]

Yep.

[Pete Holmes]

So I'm like. I was talking to our friend Ben Brown. I knew I was going to say this because it was just the best thing I heard all week was we were talking about AI, he's a screenwriter. And we were like, how do you feel? Like, how do you feel about.

[Valerie]

The door is open.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, good, good. I'm going to keep making this Ben Brown point. But he's like, it seems like we're on the cusp of some sort of change. And obviously that's not a new thing to say. Like we're at the beginning of some industrial revolution kind of thing. But Then he goes. He said, I thought this was brilliant. He goes, it's like we live in a small town and somebody just came by and laid train tracks, but none of us have seen a train.

[Valerie]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

Isn't that good?

[Valerie]

Yeah, that's so good.

[Pete Holmes]

But there's a certain quality of, like, okay, what? Like, I'd like during this time. They are a change in period to for once not wreck myself. Not even check myself. Just stop. Is that checking yourself? And just be like, okay, things are weird. We don't have to figure them out right now. Like, we're just little bits every day and regulating yourself.

[Valerie]

That's right. Absolutely. I think not to wedge it in, but we shot my short, and I shit my short.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God, Valerie, you shot your insured. Oh, my God. A record you shot. I wanted to not overtake it. It's your time.

It's like the.

The reason for the song was like, how have we not gotten to this immediately? And then I was like.

[Valerie]

There'S three verses in this.

[Pete Holmes]

This week on Working It Out, I saw the premise in a dark corner of my bedroom.

Something about clowns.

A woman leaving a clown and saying, I faked the laughs, too.

Is that anything? Working It Out.

[Valerie]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

So Val shot her short and she shit her shorts.

[Valerie]

That's right.

[Pete Holmes]

You are so good. I can't wait to talk about this.

[Valerie]

We don't have to go on and on about it. But it is. It was.

[Pete Holmes]

People want to know how was.

[Valerie]

Was so great.

[Pete Holmes]

I know, but I wanted to tell them.

[Valerie]

I know. I was.

[Pete Holmes]

How was it?

[Valerie]

It was so great. You could interrupt me again. No, don't answer me.

[Pete Holmes]

Answer them.

[Valerie]

Yeah. No, it was so much fucking fun. I had the best time. And it was. I'm really excited about what we made and for people to see it. But what I was gonna say, the, like, just do what is in front of you.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Valerie]

Point. Like, that's. I was in, like, such a flow state for a full 48 hours, and I was really expecting to feel, like, pulled in a million different directions. And, like, I'm holding so much stuff in my brain right now. And, like, somebody's asking me this question, and I can't focus on this because now I have to worry about the lighting. And I have to, like, get this part and talk to the actors and do. And I do credit this largely to the people that I had working with me. Just that the, like, DP was so great and the lighting guy was so great. And I had my friends Carrie and Lisa, who really Took care of, like, so much so that I could just focus on directing, but it was the opposite of that. It was just hyper focus of, like. Yeah, I know we have all these other scenes coming up, but right now, the only thing that exists is, like, does this light look like morning or does this light look like evening? And is this frame. Do I want this frame this close, or do we want it a little further back? And just that, like, ooh, that sweet spot of hyper presence. Like, this is the only thing that exists right now.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

Was just felt so good. And I'm still having. I mean, it was only a few days ago, but I'm still having, like, directing dreams where I'm doing that. And, like, I. I was waking up with Lila this morning, and she was laying with her feet towards me. And in my dream, I was like, leela, could I get you to just cheat your body towards the other side of the bed? And, like, just doing. And it. Of course it feels good because for a little while, you're, like, controlling reality.

[Pete Holmes]

No, that's. We've talked about this many times. The control freak element.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like the world, but every piece is customizable.

[Valerie]

Absolutely.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

And it's like, also, as I suspected, you know, it's not an easy job, but it felt surprisingly easy in comparison to being a parent where you're always trying to direct someone and they almost never do what you want them to do.

[Pete Holmes]

You're so. It's so funny. My father always used to say, you know, sort of in exasperation, like some ver. It was a joke, but, you know, kind of a loaded joke. He was like, you know, everywhere else, people listen to me and respect me, but only at home, I'm like a bumbling idiot.

[Valerie]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And I was like. He didn't say it exactly that way, and it wasn't as horrible as that sounded. But, like, what I'm hearing you is, like, it seems like one of the great life hacks. A couple things that I heard you say. One, it's so good to get something that is so pervasive in your. In your mind that you dream about it.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, that is such a gift.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Some of the happiest times of my life. They're not the easiest times of my life, but they're. When something is getting me out of bed, something is literally waking me up out of bed. That's passion. It's wonderful. And also the control and. And to marry that to, like, the lack of control. You and I have so much of the Time.

[Leela]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

But it's just like I. Watching you do it. And the revelation we had last week that, like, it sounds so ladies magazine in 1950. But you loved planning our wedding. And then doing the movie was so similar.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because the wedding, which I still. Obviously, I'm so happy to say it's one of the best days of my life, for sure. Was such a feel that people came into.

[Valerie]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's exactly what a movie is.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That's exactly what a book is. That's exactly what a song is. So it's like, of course there's an art. Art to that. That's what a classroom is too, that there's so much art happening.

[Valerie]

Or a retreat or a dance class.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, if you consider I'm gonna make you experience something.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

That's.

[Valerie]

That is what I've uncovered. And thank you for reminding me and pointing that out that I. One of my favorite things to do, whether it's a wedding or a dinner party or a dance class or a meditation class or a movie, is create an environment and an experience for people.

[Pete Holmes]

And what's awesome, by the way, we've been talking, Val and I, all week about how it's been a body swap movie. And that has been so incredible, because body swap movies are always incredible because they learn. Oh, this is why you're that way and this way and that way. So please don't misunderstand what I'm about to say. But you man, you.

I'm just kidding.

Oh, you didn't laugh fast enough.

[Valerie]

No, I didn't know what was.

[Pete Holmes]

I know it was weird, but your cleaning.

[Valerie]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, you're like. You and I have different cleaning styles.

[Leela]

Uhhuh.

[Pete Holmes]

This isn't a roast. That. In the same way that we've said many times that I am incapable or I'm very. I have a very hard time at a restaurant, Restaurant, restaurant, or a loud party where I can't control. So that discomfort becomes this, you know, flourishing at controlling a group of people. You want an experience. You want the house. I know this sounds like a ladies magazine.

[Valerie]

This is. Right?

[Pete Holmes]

And it's not.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But you do like the house to be a space, even energetically. You don't want a certain type of behavior and stuff. Not. You're not a dictator, but because you have a vision. And of course, that's what making a movie is. That's what making art is. This sounds so condescending that it's like even ladies are making art.

[Valerie]

I know, but it's not.

[Pete Holmes]

But it's Your things lend themselves to that.

[Valerie]

And also I didn't care as much about the house being super clean when I was really in the zone. Even like the, you know, prep week before.

[Pete Holmes]

Because you had another place to put it.

[Valerie]

Yeah, because I'm try. I'm. I just need to get that energy out somewhere. And when I don't have a project, the house becomes my project.

[Pete Holmes]

Totally.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

And that was also, like, the highlight of it is I. We sat down, we ate dinner. This after the first shoot day. And I said to my friends who were also the crew, I was like, this is the first time I'm thinking about food today. Like that. I don't know if that's ever happened where I've gone all day without thinking about food.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's similar cleaning and eating.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Are both these, like.

[Valerie]

These, like, winnable games?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

Hits.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

I also.

[Pete Holmes]

But you were getting this massive payload of fulfillment.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And that year. I'm so. I just want to. I think your point. Okay. Keep going.

[Valerie]

I also. It's such a perfect intersection of a lot of my needs. So, like, I need to feel like I'm in a community and collaborating. I need. I need to be working with other people, but I just need to be in, like, a part of something with other people. That's like a basic need that I have. I also need to feel safe to use my voice and like. Like that it's going to be heard. So I need to be heard. That's another.

[Pete Holmes]

And you have to. Where as a child, you didn't feel like there was room for your voice and that you weren't able to use your voice.

[Valerie]

That's right.

[Pete Holmes]

And then as a grown up, you've used your voice more and now you're. It's like you unlocked that skill in a video game.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I watched you with no surprise. I'm not saying that to be a supportive partner. Of course you're good at it. Like, especially once someone goes. You told me that you kept being like, what do you think? And they were like, it's up to you. And after a couple. It's up to you. You realized. I also started to jump around. But my friend, our friend Sam is a spiritual teacher now. Like, he started teaching spiritual classes and he was like, I don't know how you do that. And someone told me, just kind of act like the teacher.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And eventually you'll just start feeling like you're the teacher of the class. But it's like a little role you're playing and show business Is the ultimate. This is your job. This is your job. This is your job. I guess some corporations might have that type of structure as well, but show business is really like, I. I do this. That's why people kind of fetishize. Like, that's not my department.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, I don't pick up an Apple box.

[Valerie]

We love it, right? Totally. And that is, I think, what I am uniquely. I think what I learned is, like, it's okay to be myself as a director. So it's a blend. It's like. And you can hear in the dailies, the first few shots. Even the way that I call action. Sounds like a question.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, question mark.

[Valerie]

Like, action. You know, And I have other people to saying, like, should we get her to do. Turn more this way? You know, like, which was, again, such a. The reason why this was so successful was because I had so many safe, loving, supportive people who picked up the slack in the beginning especially. And then even my friend Carrie said, you'll notice, like, the first half of the first day, we were all chiming in more. And then by the second half of the first day, no one was saying anything because you just, like, got it. You just picked it up. And so, I mean, and there was a million learning curve moments of, like, fumbling just as there is. But it was like, the first. In the beginning, I was trying to pretend to be an actor. And then once something clicked on where I was like, I mean, a director. When something clicked where I was like, I don't have to. I can, like, also be myself in this, which is sometimes asking even the lighting guy, like, do you like, this close shot? Just, like, ask people their opinions. If you don't know, it's okay. People like to be included.

[Pete Holmes]

You really are reminding me of me. And, you know, because it's all the same. Everybody creating anything, I think, can relate to what you're saying.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And there's a certain amount of, like, I used to say this on the early. The first, whatever, 500 episodes podcast. I would always be saying, like, I don't want to study how you. You do it. People should study how I do it. And there's this, like, very healthy egoic development. And it's really nice to see you going, like, yeah, there's the way other people are doing it, and I can honor that, and I can ask for help. So it's not a total ego trip, but there's also, like, a certain ownership of, like, wait, I know how to do this.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

And. And what I also learned, I'm Just remembering is that, you know, so much of it is making quick decisions, which is hard for me, usually. And I. In that flow state, I just had to make it from my stomach.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

If I started to try to make it with my head, I would question.

[Pete Holmes]

Everything I told you. I've said it a million times. That's what I learned from watching Judd Apatow. I was just like, he is. Only goes like, those pants.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And he picks it right away.

[Valerie]

I know. And I kept kind of saying that too, where I'm like, I don't know why, but you're facing this way.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, you know, I make this a million times. I love that I've made this point a million times. But every night you put together a dream and, like, it's fucking perfect. And every detail of that dream is chosen by an aspect of you.

[Valerie]

Yeah, that's a really good point.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's done in real time. It's like this effortless. It's funny, the meditation I did this morning was all about, like, no matter what you're seeing, the being behind it is there completely effortlessly. And it's all happening effortlessly. It's a weird flip. Instead of being like, it's all chaos, you can also just be like, look, your thoughts and what you're seeing and what's happening is just sort of flowing. Might not be what you want, but you can. No matter what's happening, you can go like, look at this. It's just. I'm not holding it up at all. It's effortless, and I'm a part of that. I'm also an expression of that effortless creativity of being.

[Valerie]

That's why it felt like the next day after we shot, I said, I feel like I'm coming down from the best psychedelic trip, because I was in a whole different state. And it was effortless. I mean, it was work, but it wasn't like, oh, try to do this.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

It really was like I was being lifted on a. I had endless energy. I was being, like, lifted on a cloud up into the heavens.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

Where everything just kind of made perfect sense.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that. Yeah, I think. Go ahead.

[Valerie]

My. I was saying that, like, then I kind of did crash, and I'm still a little bit in that. I'm feeling really good today. But it. There was this sort of, like, almost disorienting return back to Earth where you're like, right, this is real life. And I asked Ben Brown, our friend, the screenwriter, I was like, I. So. I can't even imagine how people do that for Months. And he goes, well, it'll. It will just last you months. It will. That flow state will last you however long you need it to. And then maybe the crash lasts a little longer, but.

[Pete Holmes]

But you can keep the plate spinning.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I think people get addicted to that. And I also think I see why.

[Valerie]

They get addicted to it. It's really.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, you go like, why does. You know, the classic is, why does Jason Alexander do a KFC commercial? I remember that was a big topic.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

In the 2000s. And it was like. Yeah. Even that. People like being on set. People like collaborating. People like acting.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

People like lights and cameras and chairs. We like all of it.

[Valerie]

We love making something together that then we can look at together and stand back and go, look at this.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I made those commercials for modern mammals, and I. I found it very fulfilling.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

It was really fun.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's not to say like, oh, advertising has to be stupid or soulless. But it wasn't. You know, we weren't making Citizen Kane, but I still was like, I'm with Brian. I'm with Paige. I was having a fun. We've said there's a million on this pod, but human beings pointed in the same direction. There's nothing like it.

[Valerie]

It's what Leela's doing all the time with her friends. Every time we see her with friends, they are building a pretend scenario. They're directing each other.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

Pretend about, I'm a kitty and you're my mother. And they're working it out. They're like, okay, now I'm the kitty. And, you know, and. And they're lost. They're completely lost in that world. And it feels so good. And so it's exactly that feeling. But also, at the end of it, you have something to show other people. And to be like that. This is. We pretended about this.

[Pete Holmes]

And you get to look back. There's something very pleasant about using time to make something that both remembers the past, but also creates a new future. Is that too far out?

[Valerie]

No, I think that's exactly it.

[Pete Holmes]

But you're looking at pictures from the past, but you rearrange them into something new.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So there's something very, like, inverted double helix. There's something. I think when you're in a flow state, one of the reasons why that feels so correct. And especially when a group of people are in a flow state, it's all. And I don't have to force this. It's all connection.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Everything good is connection.

[Leela]

Yep.

[Pete Holmes]

And. And, you know, everything that. That doesn't feel quite right. Is tearing apart is like breaking apart. It stems from I'm in here and you're out there and you, you know, and everything that's like even a. You know, not even. I'm just saying sports is the same thing. Acting on in a play, all these things, we fall in love with them.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then why does Leela. Why will Leela inevitably slowly build up guards against it? Because right now they are like in a utopian sort of society.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Everyone's invited. And, like, it's going to be really interesting to watch as a parent when those preferences and those little appropriate. But, you know, it's a little sad. The walls kind of start going up. There'll be walls between us and her. There'll be walls between her and certain friends. And it's just like, like. Yeah, that's part of it.

[Leela]

It is.

[Valerie]

It's. It starts to get. This is why I'm like, oh, I really hope she gets into theater. Even if she never. It never takes her past her, you know, high school years.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

Just because those are the years where, like, when you're kind of, you know, she's in this stage where she's playing a pretend game all the time in her mind. So she's just in the car talking to herself.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

And then somebody at some point is going to make fun of her for talking to herself and she's gonna have to retire. That childhood.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

That imagination.

[Pete Holmes]

That person, as we know, will be someone who was made fun of for that 100. And it's just like, what are we doing? Why do we pay forward the worst things that happen to us?

[Valerie]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

Or is there a shadow carrying to that? It's like, I'll make fun of you because someone made fun of me. And like, I remember that feeling.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't think it's correct necessarily, but I even still have it with. With Wyatt. And, you know, there's like a. There's a weird urge. We joke about it, me and Wyatt, where I say, the boy must learn. Where it's like, we're making fun of male initiation. But I'm like, like, you know, I'm like, let's jump in the ice cold pool. And you have to stay in. He loves challenges. And I'm like, and we're gonna stand for 30 seconds. And he does it. And I make an award ceremony and it's all about it. And it's like, well, that's art. Sports, theater are sort of like healthy group ways to learn how to gently.

[Valerie]

Well, that's what I mean is like it's challenging that. I mean it's channeling. You just said challenging. It's channeling that. That's why I want. It doesn't have to be theater, but that just seems like the most one to one comparison of like you play pretend as a kid and then once you feel like you have to grow out of that, here's a way to channel playing pretend in a socially acceptable way.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

And I just don't want her to lose it.

[Pete Holmes]

Keep making that point. I want to do that thing they do on more higher production podcasts where.

[Valerie]

While we slip into the mid rolls.

[Pete Holmes]

The music starts playing before the middle.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So just keep making that point.

[Valerie]

And yeah, I can just so easily see her using the same strengths that she's learning now.

[Pete Holmes]

Later, another turning point A fork stuck in the road Time grabs you by the wrist Makes you where to go.

[Valerie]

When's it going to start? Heat when are you gonna end it?

[Pete Holmes]

Try yourself a try yourself a bean pig. Buy some you need. It helps us keep our lights on.

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[Pete Holmes]

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[Sponsor Voice]

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[Pete Holmes]

Hot.

[Sponsor Voice]

It's a fantastic drink and it makes you feel fantastic. Support your body.

[Pete Holmes]

Support the show. Give it a try. You won't regret it.

[Sponsor Voice]

Go to drinklmnt.com weird. You'll get your free sample pack with any purchase. That's drinklmnt.com weird. Huge element. Huge element guy. Also, magic mind.

[Pete Holmes]

You guys know this.

[Sponsor Voice]

Every episode, magic mind comes up. Because I'm always trying to get the good guest to drink their magic mind.

[Pete Holmes]

Why?

[Sponsor Voice]

Because I know it will dial them in. I know it's got just a little bit of sweetness so it'll make them happy. I know that it's got those nootropics, so it'll help them access their thoughts, their memories, their vocabulary, their everything that they have to share that's in their brain. That's why it's called magic mind.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like it kind of puts you right in the middle, meaning there's adaptogens.

[Sponsor Voice]

From Ashwagandha that help calm your system down and there's caffeine from Matcha. So it puts you right at that perfect cruising altitude. It's not wired. It's not like a energy drink buzz. It's dialed in. Athletes have Gatorade now. Creators have creator aid. Magic mind is a huge, huge, huge life hack in my life. And I've turned so many writers and comedians and performers on.

[Pete Holmes]

But anybody.

[Sponsor Voice]

Val loves it too. When she's sitting down to write, when she's sitting down to work. Whatever you got. If you're just answering emails, a magic mind will drop you into that flow state. That's what it is. Flow state in a bottle.

[Pete Holmes]

Give it a try.

[Sponsor Voice]

People love it. Go to MagicMind Co weird and you will get a discount. 20 off with checkout code weird. MagicMind Co weird. And use promo code weird. You will love it. Get into it.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

We'Re back.

[Valerie]

Oh, oh.

[Pete Holmes]

We'Re back. What an interesting.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Conversation.

[Valerie]

Yeah, that's great. What else is new?

[Pete Holmes]

I had something I put. I hit save on a certain topic. It might have been the body swapness.

[Leela]

The body swap.

[Valerie]

Pity. The body swap. Ality.

[Pete Holmes]

I was gonna say that I think I made this point last week that watching you becoming a director has been like watching. I'm not trying to be funny, but Gerard Carmichael, come out of the closet. Because like this Gerard. Did I already make this point? This Gerard, who's dressed incredibly and stylish and you know, the certain hairline things, all these like, cues of His. Of his outness. I don't just mean his homosexuality. I mean his complete acceptance of himself.

[Valerie]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm like, I'm watching that happening for you, and it's been incredibly. You're gay now.

[Valerie]

Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm saying, like, you're stepping into. Well, you know, you. And I watched that preview of Gerard's first special, and it's so funny because in the preview, he's like, I promise, hard truth. Hard truth. You know, and then he wasn't being truthful. Fully truthful yet.

[Valerie]

Right. And I'm ready.

[Pete Holmes]

He wasn't ready. No, no, there's no shade there. I'm just saying in the same way that there's no shade for the Valerie that hadn't yet discovered her power. But I'm really, really enjoying watching you blossom in my opinionation.

[Valerie]

Thank you. That Gerard Carmichael reference for the listeners might seem totally out of left field, but we just watched the.

[Pete Holmes]

His reality show, which I highly recommend.

[Valerie]

I know, Me too. It is, I would say, this squirm in your seat.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I. I had a dream when I was talking Gerard to Gerard about the Gerard Carmichael reality show where I was like, I'm gonna sneeze. I put a little yell in it, you know, I mean, the chef has taken the sneeze and added.

[Valerie]

That's like something dads do as they get older.

[Pete Holmes]

I think his dad's just gotta let out a little yell.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, we want that primal scream.

[Valerie]

That's true therapy. Everything's fine either screaming at while he sneezes or he's screaming at you. But Dad's gotta scream.

[Pete Holmes]

Dad's gotta scream. But that show, I was telling him, I was like, it's cringe. It is.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And he's not always likable, but I think that's the genius of it.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I think in this day and age, if you can make a TV show. I talked to so many people that were like, I don't like it, but I can't stop watching it.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, and what they mean, I think, is there's so many moments uncomfortable. We're like, no, like, off the chart. Like. Like there's a moment where he shows his dad, who's not okay with his sexuality. He's like, do you want to see a picture of my boyfriend? And already you're kind of like, well, this could be sweet. And then he shows him a picture of his boyfriend getting out of the shower.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you're like, why?

[Valerie]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

And then I think the answer is because it's unbelievably compelling television.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You can't. What I was gonna say was, in this day and age where they put out star driven, well produced, blah, blah, blah, what I call can't miss.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

It's.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like this can't miss. This is a sci fi, Lord of the Rings epic. Direct it, whatever, you know, and it misses.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, who cares? It's just a fart in a. In a tornado.

[Valerie]

Wheelbarrow.

[Pete Holmes]

In a wheelbarrow. And then somebody is just like, all I'm gonna do is, like, talk to my parents about my life, and they don't agree with it. And you're gonna see my friends and struggling comedians, and you're gonna see. And you're just, like, on the edge of your seat. I'm like, no. And everyone I know was talking about it.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm like, great. Great job. Like, you get an Emmy from me.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And probably from the people. The peat buddy.

[Valerie]

Yeah, you get a peat buddy. I mean.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

I think that's what's impressive is he's, like, being courageous with his vulnerability.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, yeah.

[Valerie]

And that's why we're all scared and, like, watching it through our fingers.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Valerie]

Does that make sense?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah. Through your hands. Yeah.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, there was the scene where his dad. We laugh about it. Cause we kind of do an impression of his dad. His dad kept going. I knew it. I knew it. Like, I knew you were tricking me.

[Valerie]

I knew that you invited me here.

[Pete Holmes]

On a camping trip to confront me.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

He's going, I knew it. I knew it. And. And Jarrod. And this is the part of the show, and this is like, episode four where I started not kind of hate watching it, but I was like, I think I understand. Not hate watching it, but you know what I mean?

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I was like, I think I understand. Because Drod says, yes, I can only do this with the cameras. That's my move. Meaning, like, that's how I'm working out the trauma.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

That's the way I need it.

[Pete Holmes]

And he goes, and your move is no move. And I was like, I know. Oh, you get a peat body, you win the award.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You've done it right. And like, of course, you know, crashing. I tried to be vulnerable. I tried to make my character, like, flawed and show that it was right that his wife left him and all this sort of stuff. Like, you know, but not to the level. Jarod is really like, no, really don't like me.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then he goes. And then understand why you don't like me.

[Leela]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And then kind of like a. I don't care if you like me. Anyway, watch that show here. I remembered what I was excited to talk about.

[Valerie]

Oh, great.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's kind of apropos because I couldn't remember it, but the past.

[Valerie]

Sorry, we're out of time.

[Pete Holmes]

You are the queen of my life and I give and I give you and I give you this ring to make you my.

[Valerie]

Why?

[Pete Holmes]

You know, it's like.

[Valerie]

Wanted it to, like, really build.

[Leela]

Yeah. That.

[Valerie]

That's what I want. Not that can't be the chord progression.

[Pete Holmes]

But I can help. Falling in love with you.

[Leela]

Oh, God.

[Valerie]

He'S going back in.

[Pete Holmes]

Take my whole.

[Valerie]

This is such a familiar feeling as a girl, where a guy is playing a song on the acoustic guitar in quotes for you.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Valerie]

But we're like.

[Pete Holmes]

That's why I'm glad we're capturing it. That's why I'm glad. This is like a time capsule moment because that was raw. That was me trying to figure out the chords.

And, like, I left my body.

[Valerie]

I saw it.

[Pete Holmes]

I wasn't doing the podcast.

[Valerie]

I've mentioned it before. Probably every time you do the podcast with the guitar. That there is an eyes glazed over look that boys get when they hold the guitar.

[Pete Holmes]

We go to the Dune Planet.

[Valerie]

Yeah, it must be.

[Pete Holmes]

And we have that stupid nose breather thing.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Just make it a pill they take. That nose thing is almost a franchise ruiner. That little dinky nose breather.

[Valerie]

I think people maybe like that.

[Pete Holmes]

People are dumb.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that. And I'm not saying good. An audible yawn. We're almost done. Just fucking love this point.

[Valerie]

Well, you played a really sleepy song.

[Pete Holmes]

That's true. Except it was the 90s version that goes. You remember that?

[Valerie]

Who does it?

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know. Anyway, the. The update that I think is interesting on, you know, certain funk and, like, getting stuck and remember, we're talking about inner child. And I was. I've been inviting that child and his. His spirit of play. I started to say that, like, I thought it was going to be a house of horrors, but he kept showing me all of his creativity. Yeah, it was really cool. And it was like I was honoring that. It wasn't to do anything. It wasn't to change me. It was very me. And him, he's his thing. I'm my thing. And he just wanted me to go, like, wow, you turned your whole bedroom into, like, Wonka's Magic Factory. Chocolate factory. But I was just, like, in awe of how creative he's been. So, anyway, one of the weird things that's been happening. Not that weird. Is that I started eating. I never know how to say it. You're supposed to just say smoking. But I was eating at weed for the past, I don't know, four days, and I said to you, we went out. Like, this podcast is an example of that. I just went in the ship, and every screw is kind of loose now, and it rattles, and there's times when I'm weird. We were hanging out with my. My friends, and they had kids, and I was on the phone with you, and one of the boys said, I'm just gonna have to man up. And I went, gender's a construct. And then I said to the parents, I went, it's fine. Like, I just like being totally weird.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Just saying what I'm thinking. But, like, there's the revelation that we've had many times and I've shared on this podcast, I'm bringing it in for a landing. Is that when I'm stuck. And every time I remember this, it's new. And I know on this podcast I've said this a thousand times, but when I'm stuck, change what you're doing.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

If you're smoking weed, stop smoking weed. If you're exercising, stop exercising. If you're sleeping a lot, sleep a little. If you're not traveling, travel. If you're traveling. If you're not traveling, you know, whichever. You have to be a big shot. Had to open up your mouth. You had to be a bad shot. You had to open up your mouth. You had to have that last night.

[Valerie]

Like Triumph sings Billy Joel. You had to be a big shot.

[Pete Holmes]

Let me now I will make more effort to be a podcaster and be compelling.

[Valerie]

Now that we're at the end.

[Pete Holmes]

Now that we're at the end, I'm gonna say that that's been really helpful to me. And I've been writing, and I've been not as paralyzed by my inbox.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Still having a hard time replying to texts and stuff. But, like, I've been writing every day, and it's just because I went in and just kind of like it felt like a. Like my brain and my acuity, my sharpness had just gotten a little overgrown. And, you know, by the way, most people have some sort of. You know, they drank or they. Whatever. I don't really have anything, but occasionally I'll do weed. And I did a passes, and I was like, oh, my God. That was the answer. I've been feeling silly. I've been feeling stupid. Good stupid. And because I feel stupid when I sit down to write, I'm not afraid to write. Because I'm too stupid.

[Leela]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Too stupid to know. Like, you're risking it all. What if you make a fool of yourself? I'm just like. That part is stoned. Even though I'm not stoned right now. But, like, stone weed.

[Valerie]

Hangover yourself. Your. Your critic. Stoned.

[Pete Holmes]

I got the bad part. Stoned.

[Leela]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Mary walks down to the water and there she hangs her head to find herself fade a shadow of what she once was.

[Valerie]

Thank you for listening to. We made it weird with Pete and Val. Don't mess up now. This is our evening. Don't blow it. We really appreciate you coming back every week.

[Leela]

Show up.

[Valerie]

Bring your listening ears. I'm so bad at this. And we hope to see you back here next week. And in the meantime, go ahead and keep it crispy.

[Pete Holmes]

Trying to fade out. That song is Sarah McLachlan in case it's driving anybody crazy.