We Made It Weird #183

Summary

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes: We Made It Weird #183

Release Date: July 5, 2024
Host(s): Pete Holmes & Valerie Chaney

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Episode Overview

In this bonus “We Made It Weird” episode, Pete Holmes and his wife Valerie open up in a candid, heartfelt conversation that ranges from mental health and trauma work, to obsessions, creativity, AI anxieties, the meaning of human connection, and parenting. With their signature warmth, honesty, and playful banter, Pete and Valerie dissect the weirdness of modern life and the challenges of being present, creative, and authentic in an AI-powered, always-on culture.

Main theme: Exploring the intersection of personal vulnerability, creativity, technology’s impact on the mind, and the continual search for meaning, connection, and self-acceptance.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Emotional Vulnerability, Trauma, and Creativity

• Pete reflects on doing trauma work, likening the emotional exposure to “spelunking by my own choice—just spending a lot of my time feeling like I’m gonna cry. And that is not a familiar thing. It’s not chill.” (12:01)
• Being deep in old fear, sadness, or powerlessness leads Pete into creative obsessions as a way of coping and channeling those emotions.
• Creative obsession: Pete describes past periods of fixation on comedian Chris Gethard during hard times (“I became emotionally and secretly... he didn’t know, but he was my improv teacher, and he became a presence in my mind” - 10:57).
• The healing power of comedy: Finding salvation in comedy—shows like “Nirvana The Band The Show” offer profound comfort, not just laughter. “It means a lot.” (11:58)

2. Mental Health in a Hyper-Connected, Algorithmic World

• Algorithmic brainwashing: Pete confesses being swept into doomscrolling on AI and its supposed threats, and how it enveloped his thinking and conversations:

  “I was becoming a reflection of my YouTube page—if you talked to me, in five, six, seven minutes, I’d bring up AI.” (15:14)

• Resonates with advice to use technology intentionally (“Just type in what you want to see... Don’t just watch what it’s recommending.” - 13:54), yet admits failing at this.
• Taking a ‘phone-free 24’: Pete recounts experimenting with a day totally off his phone, which led to significant clarity about his own susceptibility to technological anxiety:

  "The fucking thing got me." (20:43)

• Valerie spotlights: Her own struggles with targeted ads and social media “tricks” (“Instagram is a hell of a drug... I like the targeted ads because it’s telling me the things I want and need—and you’re like, do you hear yourself?” - 21:35)

3. AI, Art, and the Human Element

• Anxiety over AI replacing creative fields: Pete worries AI will “evaporate my passion... Movies and TV will be over. Podcasts will be two AIs...” (14:40)
• Valerie and Pete unpack why people are drawn to human-created art:

  “A movie that’s entirely CGI is lacking a human element... we need each other.” (24:16, Valerie) “We want George Clooney to be in it. Not an AI George Clooney.” (36:58, Pete)

• Valerie raises a cultural contradiction: “If we get AI to do everything that’s hard, we lose all respect for each other and ourselves... What we love about Wes Anderson is how hard it is to make that much out of felt.” (37:46)
• The value of ‘the problem’ not the answer: "AI is the promise of answers... but we actually want the problem." (50:50, Pete)

4. Care, Craft, and the Meaning of Gifts

• Pete is “excited by excited people”—drawn to the care and effort behind art, whether film or food:

  “What really captivated me... was someone cared enough to figure out what halibut and mango puree...” (45:06)

• Human beings appreciate craft: Valerie asserts, “People appreciate craft way more than we give them credit for.” (45:16)
• Defining a ‘gift’: Pete lays out four elements of a true gift (48:41):
  1. Something you’re good at,
  2. That feels good to do,
  3. Feels good for others to watch you do,
  4. Is infinitely complex (i.e. never mastered, always evolving).

5. Mental Health, Consumption, and Self-Protection

• Valerie explains how trauma work leads to dysregulation; the importance of being vigilant about what you ‘feed’ your mind. Avoiding certain media (“I couldn’t watch anything dark, because I would obsess about it”—27:59), balancing avoidance with nourishing positive input.
• Pete notes the individual variability in what soothes us—what’s triggering for one may comfort another.

6. Parenting, Acceptance, and The Loss of Innocence

• A sweet, comic exploration of parenting, from morning routines (“the child snooze” - 53:31) to awkward, sleepy noises to stave off requests from their daughter.
• Pride, diversity, and innocence: Pete and Valerie discuss the tension between teaching values and exposing children to the reality of oppression.

  “By me explaining it, it’s implying that anybody would think that isn’t true... Right now, she lives in a rainbow, where all of that is, of course, true. And who wouldn’t think that?” (56:56, Valerie)

7. Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On the world’s complexity:

  “The world is a litter box, but it’s also a sandbox.” (12:00, Pete)
  “If anyone’s telling you it’s only one or the other, they don’t have the full story.” (13:08, Valerie)

• On human connection:

  “Human connection is the number one thing people want after basic needs are met—or maybe even before.” (23:37, Valerie)

• On presence and joy: When people still choose to go to a real beach over VR:

  “Every time I go to the beach, this is free... People have access to TVs, phones, VR—where they could visit the beach there. We want the beach. We want nature. We want each other.” (35:31–36:08, Valerie & Pete)

• On the creative journey:

  “The second you feel like, I’ve mastered this, you’re done.” (50:06, Will Arnett via Valerie)

8. Literary and Pop Culture References

• Frequent nods to movies (Glengarry Glen Ross, Wes Anderson, John Wick), comedians (Chris Gethard), and quotes (Harvey Pekar: “Ordinary life is pretty complex stuff.” - 16:46).
• The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse:

  “Be honest. The truth is always interesting.” (60:38)
  “What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever said?—‘Help.’” (61:02)

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• “I’m spelunking by my own choice, you know, just spending a lot of my time feeling like I’m gonna cry. And that is not a familiar thing. And it’s not chill.” — Pete Holmes [12:01]
• “The world is a litter box, but it’s also a sandbox.” — Pete Holmes [12:52]
• “We can fart in here... we can do different things with the sand.” — Pete Holmes [13:03]
• “I was becoming a reflection of my YouTube page.” — Pete Holmes [15:14]
• “Just type in what you want to see... Don’t just watch what it’s recommending.” — Pete Holmes (on intentional use of tech) [13:54]
• “Instagram is a hell of a drug... I like the targeted ads because it’s telling me things I want and need—and you’re like, do you hear yourself?” — Pete Holmes & Valerie [21:29-21:35]
• “A movie that’s entirely CGI is lacking a human element... we need each other.” — Valerie [24:16]
• “We want George Clooney to be in it. Not an AI George Clooney.” — Pete Holmes [36:58]
• “People appreciate craft way more than we give them credit for.” — Valerie [45:16]
• “A gift is… something you’re good at, that feels good to do, feels good for others to watch you do, and you’ll never master.” — Pete Holmes [48:41]
• “AI is the promise of answers... but we actually want the problem.” — Pete Holmes [50:50]
• “Be honest. The truth is always interesting.” — The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse, quoted by Pete [60:38]
• “What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever said?—Help.” — The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse, quoted by Valerie [61:02]

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Segment Timestamps

• [05:51] – Start of candid conversation; impressions, playful banter, setting the tone
• [07:18] – Pete discusses depressive state and creative obsession
• [08:50] – Chris Gethard fixation and the healing power of comedy after trauma
• [12:00] – Vulnerability, emotional states, therapy insights, “the litter box and sandbox” metaphor
• [13:54] – The perils and psychology of algorithmic brainwashing via social media/YouTube
• [18:11] – “Phone-free 24”: Digital detox and its effects
• [22:02] – Valerie’s comments on consumer algorithm manipulation and self-awareness in the digital age
• [23:55] – AI's threat to creativity, desire for human connection in art
• [29:18] – Emotional self-care, media consumption during trauma work, balancing darkness and nurturance
• [45:06] – The meaning of craft, gifts, and artistic inspiration
• [48:41] – Four essential elements of a ‘gift’
• [51:08] – The value in problems, unresolvable challenges, and creative processes
• [56:56] – Parenting, innocence, Pride, and what to teach children about love and the world
• [60:38] – The importance of honesty and asking for help

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Tone and Style

• Playful, open-hearted banter (“What do we know Snoop Dogg from? Starsky and Hutch, obviously.” [07:01])
• Deeply honest about difficulties, especially around mental health, trauma, and digital life.
• Literary and pop-culture references sprinkled throughout, lending a sense of “we’re all in this weirdness together.”
• Warm, supportive marital dynamic—unafraid to be silly, weepy, or vulnerable in real time.

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In a Nutshell

Pete and Valerie’s conversation is a mindfully meandering, insightful ride through the weirdness and wonder of being alive, loving, and creative in our modern era. They offer no easy answers—just vulnerability, awareness, mutual holding of their experience, and a celebration of the human (and weird) in all of us.

Closing thought:
“Be honest. The truth is always interesting.” — The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse

[61:02] Valerie: “What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever said?”
Pete: “‘Help.’"
Valerie: “Keep it crispy.”

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Recommended for: Listeners looking for comfort, laughter, and validation in the messiness of modern existence—especially creatives, parents, and anyone anxious about AI.

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Transcript

[Valerie]

You made it weird. You made it weird. You made it weird. Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You made it weird. Yes. You made it weird. You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

[Valerie]

What's happening, weirdos?

[Pete Holmes]

Really? What is happening?

[Valerie]

What is happening?

[Pete Holmes]

We're so glad you're here. This is, we're actually recording this on Monday, so kind of way ahead of ourselves. Hope you had a good holiday. Talking to the future and thank you for being here. Petehomes.com for my tour dates. For those of you who don't know, this is the bonus episode, the Friday episode where Val, my wife, really, I'm your husband.

[Valerie]

Thank you. Get it right.

[Pete Holmes]

Val and her husband Pete catch up about the weekend and they're very, very special and we're very glad you guys are here. The we made it weirdos are always and will always be my favorites. The people and a surprising number of sweet, open hearted people come up and tell me that these are their favorites and that that always makes my day. So thank you for being here. This episode is no exception. I'll be at Largo this month. Let me see. I have the dates written here. July 17, August 16 and September 5. Go to largo-la.com for those tickets and petehomes.com for tickets to Houston, Madison, Wisconsin, Pittsburgh, others. They're all on there. Hope to see. On the road always means a lot. And if you like this show, we don't have a Patreon or anything like that. The way to support the show if you like it, is to try one of the pizza picks. We talk a little bit about the perils of advertising and mindless advertising. I'm happy to say that we only for ethical reasons and just feel good reasons. We only do ads for things that we actually use and actually love. So you can try these things with confidence. And if you want to support the show, give one a whirl or give one to a friend. So, Katie, roll that beautiful bean footage.

[Sponsor/Ad Reader]

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[Pete Holmes]

Well, is there a product that can.

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[Pete Holmes]

All right, everybody, thanks for being here.

[Valerie]

Valerie, get into it.

[Pete Holmes]

Welcome, everybody, to a very special. We made it weird, very casual, very. So you know what I've never done on the show? I've never done Robert California.

[Valerie]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

One of the things that I do that nobody seems to care whether or not it's a lack of interest or.

[Valerie]

Just a sort of not as good as I think it is.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God. I don't have it. I can do it right after I see him. But James Spader on the Office, Robert California, He's.

[Valerie]

You gotta do the head tilt.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't exactly understand what we're doing here, do you, Gabe?

[Valerie]

I think you're making it even deeper.

[Pete Holmes]

Than it is, though. It sounds great in here. I. I bought the house to be a palace of sorts. It is. It's not right. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Welcome to the show, everybody.

[Valerie]

Real Run and Gun. A Run and Gun episode just running in.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, well, we're feeling a little. Let's just lay it out for you to play it out, player. Snoop Dogg. Start skin. Start skin. Hutch.

[Valerie]

That's what you know him from.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, you remember Snoop Dogg from Starskin Hutch.

[Valerie]

Well, it's like how Nirvana the Nirvana the be and Nirvana the Bond, the show they call Michael Jordan, the black guy from Space Jam.

[Pete Holmes]

Is there anything. This has happened to me before, so I'm in a depressive way, meaning I'm just feeling kind of squished at Everyone that that's been listening, old PD is fine. It's not a. It's not a code. Code. Threat level Midnight.

[Valerie]

Okay, so we're clearly watching the threat level midnight. Nirvana, the band, the show.

[Pete Holmes]

And what happens sometimes, and I'm glad to get this out there, in case there are people that relate, is when I'm in an emotional turbulent time. The last time was my divorce. I'm not saying whatever. I'm not going to give you every pop up. And right now I'm doing trauma work. So most of the time, as we've been discussing, because I'm going into my past and really feeling things instead of just compartmentalizing them or verbalizing them or coping. I'm just kind of going in and hanging out with fear or sadness or powerlessness or whatever it might be. Those things. That state of vulnerability tends to lead to some creative obsession.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And Chris Gethard knows this, by the way. When I was getting divorced, I had a weird obsession with Chris Gethard. Which, by the way, Chris Gethard is the choice of a lot of weirdos like me. There's something obsessible about Chris Gethard. He's super funny, super talented, and he's super real.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And just like, if you don't know who Chris Gethard is, check out a special. It's called Career Suicide. He's also been on this podcast twice. He's just a delight.

[Valerie]

He's great.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm no longer obsessed with him. I love him. But when I was. My wife had. My first wife obviously had just left and I was taking improv classes. I imagine this is what people, like, do with their therapy. Therapists.

[Valerie]

Oh, yeah, conversion. Is that what it's called?

[Pete Holmes]

Transference. Hit it, hit it again. Call dad and hit it again. Hit it and hit it again. Then call your dad and tell him you're gay. Too hard.

[Valerie]

Well, are you stinging? Because I'm over here stinging.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm in the high five game for the stinging.

[Valerie]

You like the sting. Oh, sting. Oh, you walk the sting.

[Pete Holmes]

For me, it's about the sting. I'm a hand crusher when I shake hands because I want. I'm just kidding.

[Valerie]

You want.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't crush. But sometimes people. Sometimes people crush my hand and I hate it. And sometimes I'm like, thanks for reminding me that there are idiots out there.

[Valerie]

No, thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

Thank you. Well, you know what I love about a very firm handshake?

[Valerie]

What?

[Pete Holmes]

It's the fastest. You're literally meeting the person and you. Right off the bat. No, you'll never be close.

[Valerie]

But also same with a very limp handshake.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that gefilte fish?

[Valerie]

It's not rocket science. We know how to properly shake a hand. What are you. If you're not doing it.

[Pete Holmes]

Please.

[Valerie]

That's a choice.

[Pete Holmes]

Please.

[Valerie]

That's a choice.

[Pete Holmes]

Please.

[Valerie]

That's a choice.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. Oh, I had a bunch for you. Firm handshake where I had. I had it just now. We're not. I'm not trying to get back to that.

[Valerie]

Oh, Chris Gethard.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, yeah, we can, but I had something more fun. It doesn't matter. So when my first wife left me, I became transference. I tran. Like, I. I became emotionally and secretly. You know what I mean? Like, he didn't know.

[Valerie]

He was your improv teacher.

[Pete Holmes]

He was my improv teacher. And he's a very, like, nurturing and understanding and patient guy.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I would, like, kind of just sort of. He became sort of a. A presence in my mind.

[Valerie]

Your consciousness.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Like, I know all of this maybe sounds a little nuts, but you want to get nuts? Let's get nuts.

[Valerie]

I think we've all had that.

[Pete Holmes]

That's.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then. And I'm not saying this is exactly what's going on with Matt Johnson and Nirvana, Ben. The show, but I'm super raw. And I love this, by the way. I. I love these reminders that comedy specifically matters and can salve and heal and accompany people in rough times. So, like, when we watch an episode and Jay calls Michael Jordan the black guy from Space Jam, it's so much. I feel like I'm giving, like, a commencement speech, but I'm like, it's not just a little. Ha ha.

[Valerie]

Yeah. It means a lot.

[Pete Holmes]

It means a lot.

[Valerie]

Ye.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm spelunking by my own choice, you know, just spending a lot of my time feeling like I'm gonna cry. And that is not a familiar thing. And it's not. I said this in therapy today. I go, it's not chill.

[Valerie]

This is not chill.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm not, like, just kind of, like, brushing it aside. Yeah, it's. It's overwhelming. And it. And it. And it's pretty consistently waving in or. Or going away. And then I'll have, like, a good hour of, like, absolute euphoria. Creative splendor, I'll call it. And then I'll be talking with you, and I'm just like. And it's not easy. And then we watch comedy like Nirvana, the band, the show, and I'm like, fucking. Thank you. I need to remember that, like, the world is a litter box, but it's also a sandbox.

[Valerie]

Yeah, that's right.

[Pete Holmes]

There's cat shit around.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But there's also a guy in my mind, it's Matt Johnson digging a little for it and being like, we can fart in here.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm like, oh, yeah. Like, we can do different things with the sand.

[Valerie]

The world is a litter box and also a sandbox. And if anybody's telling you that it's only one or the other, that they don't have the full story.

[Pete Holmes]

Ken, I am so pleased that you brought that up. And I know I've been kind of alluding this, but I think I can articulate it even better, is I was in. I really flattered myself at being immune because I'm intellectually aware of the ability of, like, an algorithm to start brainwashing you. And we. Everybody, you know, everybody talks about, like, I watched some kind of a whistleblower type guy. I wish I could remember his name, that used to work at places like Facebook or YouTube or whatever it was. And his advice at the end of the video was like, you can go on YouTube, but just type in what you want to see. Like, use it as a resource and type in. You want to watch this? Don't just watch what it's recommending.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Now, of course, I'm not doing that. I'm exclusively.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Going around. And this isn't. Whatever. I'm not saying I'm a victim, but I'm saying what happened was.

[Valerie]

What had happened.

[Pete Holmes]

What had happened was. And we've been. We've been circling the plane around this point for weeks now on this show is like, I was just eating. Endless amounts of AI is gonna end the world.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I don't mean human extinction. I think that's kind of a Obvious and dumb guess.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But it's, like, gonna evaporate. My passion, like, standup will be over. Movies and TV will be over. Books will be over. Podcasts will just be two AIs. See, I'm starting to get some clarity.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But when I was listening exclusively, and you know what the problem was? There's also the life algorithm, meaning I would talk to people, and I was becoming a reflection of my YouTube page, which means if you talk to me for five, six, seven minutes, I'm gonna say seven minutes.

[Valerie]

Stops. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm going to bring up AI. And then your friends are also going to algorithm you. And our friend Ben texted me a podcast about AI, and I'm listening to it. And, like, there was A moment of clarity that came first is like. Just like the slightest inkling. Just a whisper on the wind. I think you've lost your mind, dude. Life is so dramatic. It's so complicated. It's so, like. Yeah. Harvey Pekar said, ordinary life is like. I can't remember the rest of it, but it's. And what's great is there was no part of me that was kidding. I was not. That was what you want. That was as real as it gets. It's like Harvey Beaker said, ordinary life is. I don't remember the rest, but when you do it as a joke, it doesn't sound like it sounded.

[Valerie]

It was so good.

[Pete Holmes]

It was real. It was real.

[Valerie]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

For the completionists out there, Harvey Pkar, Ordinary Life.

[Valerie]

Oh, my God. That really got me.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Or Daenery.

[Valerie]

I have tears.

[Pete Holmes]

Ordinary life is pretty complex stuff. That's not even that great of a. I regret every. Every ep, Every moment of this episode is a regret for me. Ordinary Life. As RVP Car said, ordinary life is pretty complex stuff, and I couldn't even remember it. And then when you look it up, it's. It's nothing. It's just a bird having loose white diarrhea.

[Valerie]

Oh, my God. I'm dying.

[Pete Holmes]

I know. So anyway, a whisper on the wind. Yes. Saying. And. And that's. You know, that's sometimes as good as you can get.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Is you're in the throws.

[Valerie]

Small voice.

[Pete Holmes]

I was going to say. Still small voice. A still small voice, as the Quakers say.

[Valerie]

Just kind of whispering, as God said, according to.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, really? Is that in the Bible?

[Valerie]

I don't know. Don't ask me. I've always pretended to be reading the Bible. I only ever read Psalms or Song of Solomon because they were romantic.

[Pete Holmes]

Song of Songs.

[Valerie]

Song of Songs.

[Pete Holmes]

I prefer calling it the Song of Songs. It's like this song. This is the Song of Songs over.

[Valerie]

Here about the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

[Pete Holmes]

Over here, God, King of Kings, Lord of Lords. Song of Songs, Lamb of Lamb.

[Valerie]

I am the Bible. I know.

[Pete Holmes]

I was just gonna say, is there any way to kind of forget it, like, lose the narrative than to, like, tell Bible stories? Like, I was just thinking in that brief moment, I was like, we should do something called the Bible the Musical. But doing jokes and reflections on, like, stories is, like, so far afield from, like. Anyway, here we go. So the voice was saying, I think you're losing your mind. And then I took Saturday and. Everybody, please, please do this. If you can I didn't even turn my phone on the entire day. Brag. Just like an Amish. An Amish for 24. That's what I call it. Amish yourself for 24. That means a good old fashioned barn J. Off with butter. I'm talking shave.

[Sponsor/Ad Reader]

Just the stash.

[Pete Holmes]

There was one Amish guy who stole away and is naughtily listening to this. And he loved the Amish shout out. And then when I said a barn barn jay off, a barn butter jay off, he was like horse feathers and he threw it in a ravine as is. As is his want. Anyway, okay, I took a phone free 24 and I kept telling myself, how do you know I'm not flying to Australia? Like, how do you know? Shut up. Like, because the voice kept saying, a different voice, a loud, irritating voice kept going like, turn your phone on. Like every time I peed any, any downpipe. And it was like, how does. How do people who are trying to reach me know I'm not flying to Australia. And that was my mantra that got me through it. At one point I. I went on my iPad to watch something. It doesn't matter. It was a movie. Look who cares. And I saw some text and it was two texts and it was nothing. And I didn't reply to them, but it was nothing. So got off scot free. That was like 8 o'. Clock. Got off scot free. And. And that was where the voice came through that was like, I think you're losing your mind. I think he needs to take a break.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Oh, after you took a break.

[Pete Holmes]

I think. I think the voice was the. Still small was going through all of that and the day off cemented the idea that I was like, it happened. As much as I like to kind of sit over here, like I'm apart from the regular folk and I'm like, oh, yeah, they're getting brainwashed, obsessing about world events or whatever. But the fucking thing got me.

[Valerie]

I know. And it's literally about more technology. Like, it's like.

[Pete Holmes]

What do you mean?

[Valerie]

It's like an obsession with like the technology got you. And how it got you was learning more about technology. Technology.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

Like it's, you know, like how the technology gets me is like making me buy like face creams and showing me like beautiful videos of children.

[Pete Holmes]

I can tell that you've been on social media while I haven't, because when I'm on social media, I'm the one that has little boxes showing up to the house. And it' like you bought that thing that was like, you breathe in this and it tells you how many carbs to eat. And I was like, valerie, Instagram is a hell of a drug. There's no.

[Valerie]

It really is.

[Pete Holmes]

There's no judgment here. There's no judgment.

[Valerie]

Yeah, it's.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a. It's a tricky fucking pick.

[Valerie]

It really is.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it's.

[Valerie]

And it's like. It's. Yeah, it just. I. I will even be like, I like the targeted ads because it's telling me the things that I want and need. And you're like, do you hear yourself?

[Pete Holmes]

This is what I'm saying.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

There's an insanity. Sorry, we have to do the ads. I'm just kidding. There's an insanity to modern life that's really hard to, you know, extricate yourself from.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And, you know, the. The humbling thing was that I. I, you know, I'm not hooked by the debates. I'm not, like, hooked by. I'm not going on whatever. I don't even know what the. The Drudge Report. I don't know. And are we going to replace Biden? That's not, like, my drug. Yeah, but it found one.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you. You catch yourself being addicted. And then it was. It was really depressing me.

[Valerie]

Like, Right.

[Pete Holmes]

I was going around. So it does apply to the trauma work. I was going around going, like, my life is over. And just like, trauma. When I tell myself, you're not a kid anymore. And it's like, okay, yeah. When I'm in a. A different kind of state, a different kind of confusion. Going like, the world is over. No one's gonna want anything that creative people can do, because a computer is going to be doing it.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You can't. Once. Once I took that day off, you would say things like, it's CGI. It's like, we don't want just CGI. Like.

[Valerie]

Like, yeah, like.

[Pete Holmes]

Like we laughed just about 10 minutes ago when I was like, podcasts are just going to be two AIs talking to each other. And I was like, I don't think you get the Harvey P. Car laugh moment.

[Valerie]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

From a very sophisticated algorithm that's mimicking. You know what I'm saying? I'm not. I'm not putting it past it, that maybe it could do a pretty good job, but I'm like, I want to see Brad Pitt. I don't want to see CGI Brad Pitt. I want to see Brad Pitt, the.

[Valerie]

Number one thing that human beings want once their basic needs are met. But obviously, I honestly don't Even think it's that. I think, like, it's in order to have our basic needs met. It's. It's connected to. That is human connection.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. And I say the thing you said about phones.

[Valerie]

So even. Yeah. So people are like, well, you know, it's like how the iPhone changed our whole world. That it's going to be that plus, like, even more. And to me, the iPhone changed our whole. Whole worlds because it was another way to connect with each other.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

And that's why we don't love CGI is. It's like, you know, we can get into it, but a movie that's entirely CGI is lacking a human element that is even, like, subconscious to us. Like, we don't know how badly our human body needs to have sensed the involvement of another human body because we need each other.

[Pete Holmes]

In Glengarry Glen Ross. Obviously, I say obviously because I quote it a lot, but it's one of my favorite movies and it sounds just crass for crassness sake. Very Mamet, but Trey Mamet, but fucking. I'm gonna call him Al Pacino. Oh, Ricky Roma is the guy's name. He goes the great fucks. It's very Mammon. He goes the great fucks you've had in your life. What do you remember? And James Link, who's played by the Pope. It's one of the guys in the Two Popes. James Link is kind of. He's really uncomfortable. He's never met a guy this magnanimous and this free. Like Ricky Roman is so free. He's just talking about fucks and shit and sales and desire. He's fucking slick. He goes the great fucks and he goes the great fucks. He can't even play the game. He's so outgunned by the salesman who's really just posturing what freedom and agency look like. He's not selling him land, he's selling him freedom and agency and self acceptance.

[Valerie]

That's exactly what that. I won't say the name of the thing, but that's exactly what that breathe thing did for him.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. No offense. Breathe thing. Yeah.

[Valerie]

Selling me the. Like you can have freedom and choice in what you eat.

[Pete Holmes]

It's almost. Because it's you. It almost breaks my heart. It almost. I'm also just very vulnerable. But it's like. It's so darling. I was talking last. Don't forget about the Ricky Roma thing. But I was talking last night. We're doing this documentary for my next special and I was talking after the set, how Much better I felt. I did a set last night. Stand up. And how much better I felt. And I was like. And I'm aware how obvious that is, that a boy, a little boy got exactly what he needed. Cause it's like on the other side of a great standup set. I'm so resolved that it's actually kind of embarrassing. You know what I mean? It's like, wow, that's exactly what the little boy needed. He needed to know he exists. He needed to know he was understood and he needed to be celebrated. It gets even more embarrassing as we go. Celebrated. He needed to be celebrated. There needed to be room for him.

[Valerie]

Yeah. 100%, though. All of the reasons you got into this in the first place.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

You did find a really, really great outlet and expression where you also got your needs met and your wounds addressed. I think that's so what I was gonna say about the AI Thing is, and it's connected to this is like when you're doing trauma work, I really like all. Probably all the time, but especially when you're doing trauma work, it's. Your body is going to be dysregulated more often than usual. And so you really do want to think about what you're putting in your mind.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Valerie]

Because. And what you know, you're putting your body through.

[Pete Holmes]

Because you're priceless. What you just said.

[Valerie]

Your body, your mind is gonna grab onto any little thing that it can.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

So that's why, like, remember all of a sudden, I couldn't watch anything dark.

[Pete Holmes]

Because I watched True Detective seasons three and four by myself.

[Valerie]

Two, two, three, two.

[Pete Holmes]

Nobody watched two.

[Valerie]

Oh, okay. Sure. But I was saying I didn't watch.

[Pete Holmes]

Two Was the one when we all found out Santa Claus isn't real. Whoopsie doodle.

[Valerie]

Yeah, but that's. I can't. I can't. I mean, and maybe I could even now, but I look at it so differently. But when I was really in the thick of my trauma work, I just couldn't watch anything like that. Because I would obsess about it. Yes, I would.

[Pete Holmes]

Just like we're back to Chris Gethard and Matt Johnson. The brain wants to obsess.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And be careful which cookie you hand the bear.

[Valerie]

And now I still don't. Like you recommended Blackbird. And I just like, I'm so tempted when I'm regular regulated to.

[Pete Holmes]

Go on.

[Valerie]

When I'm regulated to watch all that stuff. But I know that, like, if you leave town and I get dysregulated, then I just have a Whole movie of. To play in my mind of things and the. On the, like, you know, other side of that or. I don't know. Moreover.

[Pete Holmes]

I guess moreover.

[Valerie]

You also really want to be extra tender about pouring into yourself the good stuff. Like, so it's not just about avoiding AI it's about doing standup. It's about, like, getting in the ocean. It's. It really is. Like, think of. I think it's so helpful and loving to think of. Take the agency back and to think of it as like, hey, I'm asking my. My whole system to do a lot of really hard things. So I'm going to just, like, nurture the shit out of it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

And get, you know, every. Give it every nutrient that it needs.

[Pete Holmes]

This is really tricky, difficult for me because I am loving Blackbird. And even in my TR Trauma work, I've noticed that I'm drawn. One of the reasons I'm drawn to Blackbird is he's in. There's no spoiler here. The guy's in prison to get someone to confess to him. That's just the synopsis. There's no spoiler. But when you're in prison, you have to make these, like, really unholy alliances. So as I was talking to my therapist today, I was like, oh, my God, this is so familiar. So I don't know if it's helpful.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, I really don't, because I was like, oh, I'm being reflected in this. This guy is having to, like, sort of to survive, put his feelings aside, manipulate, lie, all this stuff that feels really kind of familiar.

[Valerie]

I honestly would not. It didn't even occur to me that Blackbird might not be good for you to watch right now.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Valerie]

I was to say. I was saying my version.

[Pete Holmes]

I hear you.

[Valerie]

Of the AI Thing. Because my brother, you know, he was raised by the same two people. He has. He. He is very similar to me, but one of our differences is that he loves, like, horror films and true crime stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

So deeply. And it helps him. It, like. So I do think it can help people. It just my specific type of brain and, like, my years spent not being able to.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm about.

[Valerie]

I was so scared as a child.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

I just can't.

[Pete Holmes]

It's interesting. I'm glad that we're unpacking that, because avoiding stuff means avoiding what doesn't work for you.

[Valerie]

Exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

It's weird to think that a 60 Minutes expose on AI isn't in bounds for me, but, you know, a prison riot montage is, like, oddly comforting.

[Valerie]

Sure.

[Pete Holmes]

This is one of the harrowing things about. I don't want to gender it and saying being a man. I'm just saying being a person like me is when I'm blocked. I'm like, watching John Wick movies. I just want to, like. I don't know. It's not even the violence. It's the agency and it's the. Whatever. Anyway, let me finish. We'll go to the break here in a second, but I'm not going to leave this dangling. We were talking about. I loved what you said, that technology has always been used. And this. This is the good. This is the. The bright light of AI is. It's like, oh, my God, what will human beings do with this tool, with this, like, feature, with this ally? Hopefully, you know, and, you know, we've always done that, and artists have always evolved and grown to use the most modern thing, you know, so anyway. But you're saying AI just kind of feels a little bit wrong. And Ricky Roma's thing. So then we'll go to the. We'll go to the break after this. Ricky Roma says, what? The great fucks you've had in your life? What great fucks? He goes, what I'm saying is it probably isn't the orgasm. And there's something very human in what he's saying. He goes, it wasn't the orgasm. There was this sound she made something her eyes did. And he goes, or let me tell. He kind of has this trail off, and he goes something about, I'm in Paris, she brings me cafe au lait, brings me a cigarette. And he's talking about. He says, broad, but he goes, some broad. Some woman's forearms on your neck. And he's talking about what we're talking about tiny details in today's society, it seems, or part of our society is like, sex is about the orgasm. It's like, what's gonna make you finish. Yeah, and finish the best.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And. And we're, you know, we're forgetting, you know, it's not the last note of the symphony, it's the whole thing, right? And, like, the best. We all know this, the best movie experiences are you. You pick one and you commit to it and you ride through it and you watch it and you, you know, you stick into it. And, you know, TikTok is the opposite of that and. And porn is the opposite of that and all of these things, you know, and to a certain extent, you could say postmates or Ubereats is the opposite of that. It's like. And I know, I know. I know. It's like the oldest thing in the book, but I'll say it as often as I can. These type. Me sitting here talking with you, or looking at the fire or cooking dinner together or playing cards with Leila at the dinner table or whatever it might be. God, like, what we think we need and what we need are pretty close, but also so far.

[Valerie]

Absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

And when we're just like, just show me. And I'm. I don't want to say I'm guilty of this, but I want to watch. You know when you're scrolling on social media and you see somebody and they climb a church free. Climb a church and do a backflip, it's like the most amazing. Like, 99% of the world live their entire lives without seeing something that amazing. And you just see it, and then it's gone. And you order food that's better than 99% of the world ever knew. And you just eat it while you're watching that video. You're not even engaged. The food. Then you're horny, and you just finish with, like, the hottest thing that's ever happened to 99% of the world never saw a sexual act like that. And you're seeing it. Your brain thinks you're seeing it. And at the end of it, you're so unfulfilled.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Right. But it's like, we went to the beach the other day and that. It was packed. And every time I go to the beach, I go, this is free. These people, these hundreds and hundreds of people came here. They chose to do this with their day. They have access to TVs and phones and, you know, probably some of them, like, VR things.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

Where they could visit the beach there.

[Pete Holmes]

Yep. Thank you.

[Valerie]

We want the beach.

[Pete Holmes]

We want the beach.

[Valerie]

We want nature.

[Pete Holmes]

We want each other. You're so right on. What are we putting in the container? And like, you said, the sandbox. It's. It's a litter box and it's a sandbox. And when we went to the beach, literally on the sand, remembering not to poop there, not to poop there. But it was free. Just like it was free, but again, like a trauma state. I couldn't hear you when you were like, I don't think people are just gonna, like, take the synthetic constantly. Like, I was playing cards and. Which I was like, yeah, but Wes Anderson. Like, there's auteurs. And they're like, yeah, AI is going to be able to figure that out. And I was like, I just think we're still going to want Wes Anderson.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

To make movies. And I think we want George Clooney to be in it. Not an AI. George Clooney.

[Valerie]

That's the other thing. That was the other point that I had about AI is that AI sounds like something Jamaican.

[Pete Holmes]

Ei, give me that beef patty. AI.

[Valerie]

AI.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that okay?

[Valerie]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

I tried to do it very mild. It was a very mild.

[Valerie]

Is that we. It's funny because as, like, I'll speak specifically for, you know, like, as Western culture wants progress and to be especially, like, the first to do something.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

But this is a. This is a contradiction, like, where our Western values contradict because we also want people to work hard to earn their keep and to, like, earn our respect.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

So if we progress so much that we just get AI to do everything that's hard, we will lose all respect for each other and ourselves, and we won't be interested because it didn't. Because we'll know it's not hard. What we love about Wes Anderson is how hard it is to like, make that much out of felt.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

And find all of these colors and to put them all together. And like, we appreciate the attention to detail because it's hard work.

[Pete Holmes]

Let's. We'll talk about that after the break. But when I was coming home from my set last night, I was talking about what a gift is. And I'd love to share that here on the pod. And we'll be. I'm going to Write that down. 33. We'll be right back. This episode is brought to us by our friends at Element lmnt.

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[Pete Holmes]

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[Pete Holmes]

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[Pete Holmes]

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[Pete Holmes]

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[Pete Holmes]

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I absolutely love it. And what I love, I've actually, I.

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[Pete Holmes]

Hostagesape.com weird. All right, back to the show. I think you're absolutely right. We love and yet we forget. I've been talking a lot about this because I'm trying to get my mind around this feeling is I'm like. Now that I'm 45, the thing that excites me the most is excited people like, I love. I'm looking for not the thing like the Wes Anderson Benedict Cumberbatch Netflix movie we watched. Yeah, that was the thing. But what really like captivated me about that was like someone like, you know, as you're watching it, just how many 6am call times there were and how many long nights there were and how many visits there were to the workshop to see the set and to camera test and how much Benedict Cumberbatch like gave to every micro movement and the blocking and no one's looking at their mark. And the lighting and you can feel the family of it and the summer camp of it. It's on the screen. It's not literally on the screen, but you see it in the way that like an amazing meal, the care of it, that someone cared enough to figure out what halibut and mango puree, you know, all of that stuff, that's what kind of makes it offensive. When you go to the airport and you eat a chicken Caesar salad and you're like, was that a human foot? Like, what did I just eat? And. And that's what I've been looking for so much in my life is, is inspiration.

[Valerie]

I, I think human beings, even people who you wouldn't expect, like, I don't think it's an elitist thing. I think human beings appreciate craft way more than we give them credit for.

[Pete Holmes]

And they would like to. Meaning if you're bored on weed or on weed. Whoa. You're feeling ennui because you're on weed.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

In fact, weed and alcohol are attempts to like disable our security guards a little bit, to let something in, to be vulnerable enough, to let something move us. And that can be quite lovely. But like, I think like being disengaged is such a horrible feeling.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's why bad sucks so much ass and why good stuff is so incredible.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Yeah. Bad sucks ass.

[Pete Holmes]

That's. It is funny to say that with the fervor of like an inspirational YouTube video.

[Valerie]

I think what was his name?

[Pete Holmes]

Harvey Pekar said Bad sucks ass. Oh yeah. Sucks ass. But what I was going to say, and I've said this a version of this before and the antidote. So even though I'm feeling very weepy today and just sort of, you know, how you feel after you did some trauma work. Trauma quotient met. I just said trauma enough times for this podcast. Anyway, it's fine. Thank you.

[Valerie]

Said it a thousand times more than you preach.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, for me, having done a stand up set last night and really like it's always like a blood transfusion.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like there's this other guy stand at me and I know I can kind of put myself into him and be him.

[Valerie]

Iron Man.

[Pete Holmes]

It is like Iron Man. Yeah. And you're like, oh my God. And I was listening. It had been so long since I had done standup, which is a mistake I'm always constantly making. So I listened to audio of myself in Chicago driving to the show just to Remember the jokes. And Val, I was like, first of all, I was like, who is this guy? I don't know how he's doing this. I always say that.

[Valerie]

I'm just loving that you always say that.

[Pete Holmes]

I was also slapping, embarrassingly so. Slapping the steering wheel, like, laughing my butt off. It's true insanity, but it is that feeling of like, this guy is up my alley, which I'm very proud of.

[Valerie]

You should.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm very proud that at least I'm doing what I would like to.

[Valerie]

Right. That's the best anyone can ever do.

[Pete Holmes]

And then when I did the set, it was like I said a blood transfusion. It was like the sun peeked over the horizon, all of these things. And I was like, that's what a gift is. A gift is one, something you're good at, something you're able to become really good at. I couldn't be a basketball player or whatever it is, or a tennis player, whatever, but I can do stand up. So I found that that's the first one. Two, something that you're good at that feels really good to you to do, so it feels incredible to do. Three, something that you're good at that feels incredible to do that it feels incredible for others to watch you do it.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So there's like a social or a communal element to it. So it's not just staying home with your fleshlight. Something that you're good at that feels good when you do it and feels good for other people to see you do it. And the fourth one is that you will never master. That's infinitely complex and always evolving and changing. Slippery is a little too negative. Slippery sounds like you can never get a grip on it.

[Valerie]

Surprising.

[Pete Holmes]

Surprising. I've heard it said about golf or racquetball, these things that take lifetimes to master or writing or whatever it might be. That's why I'm super excited for you and filmmaking is because it's. It's something that you're good at. It's something that feels really good, like, psychologically healing and completing. And other people will love it. And look at, like, what we're talking about. Wes Anderson, Tarantino, whoever it might be. Paul Thomas Anderson, all the Andersons, really. Just like. None of those people are, like, I have it figured out.

[Valerie]

Totally. I just heard Will Arnett on.

[Pete Holmes]

Sorry, Val, we're out of time. Every week.

[Valerie]

Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson have a new podcast, which is making me feel like we need to watch Cheers again.

[Pete Holmes]

Ted Danson and who?

[Valerie]

Woody Harrelson.

[Pete Holmes]

They said Woody Allen, for some reason. Thank you for this opportunity.

[Valerie]

And they had Will Arnett on their podcast, and he said, like, the exact same thing. He was like, I. I feel like the second you feel like I've mastered this, you're done.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it's true.

[Valerie]

You have to keep an element of being like, I will never master this.

[Pete Holmes]

And that is the point.

[Valerie]

Yeah, that's the point. That's the. It's like, you know, an endless video game. If you feel like you can beat the game.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, we're back to what we're saying. It's like. It's a maze. You could look at life as a maze or creative project as a maze, writing a new book as a maze. And like, what's. And I'm not going back to AI in that unhealthy way. I'm just saying, like, AI is the promise of answers.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like, I will give you the answer. And it's like, no, we actually want the problem.

[Valerie]

Yeah. We don't want the answer.

[Pete Holmes]

We think we want the answer.

[Valerie]

Right. We have to. We actually have to want the answer to give mistakes to working with the problem. But we don't really want that.

[Pete Holmes]

The answer was an excuse the whole time. It was, you know, the. Who is it in Donkey Kong? The woman. I don't think it's Princess Toad Soul, but it's Mario's first girlfriend, Peaches. Is it Peaches?

[Valerie]

Is it Peaches?

[Pete Holmes]

Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches. I'm thinking about original Mario, Donkey Kong. He's going up the. The girders to get to. Let's say it's Princess Peach who Bowser calls Peaches. Okay.

[Valerie]

Okay. Well, the.

[Pete Holmes]

No, you're right. You're right to feel everything you're feeling right now, but that's just an excuse. You get her, and then you realize she's. She's just some lady.

[Valerie]

This. Tell me if this is funny. This is such a tangent. Are you making in the middle of making a point?

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God. Zero. Okay, I'm over here. I'm looking in the briefcase. There's not even dust in here. I got dick.

[Valerie]

I don't think this is interesting.

[Pete Holmes]

But then take your time saying it. Cause when the ball comes back to me, I'm catching it in an empty briefcase. Click, clack. And it closed and going home. Cause the game she be over. The game she be over.

[Valerie]

Well, when you called me on the Peaches thing, I just did, like. Like, I didn't say anything.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

And it just reminded me that this morning Lila woke up. She's been waking up so early. I know. And so, like, when she starts waking up, I'm just like, no. Like, I feel so deep asleep. And then it just feels like it's not true. But it feels like she instantly has demands like, yeah, you know, either get up or can you find my stuffy that I was.

[Pete Holmes]

It's usually like, where's the stuffy?

[Valerie]

Where's the stuffy I need? Yeah. And she. She asked a question like that. Let's say it was where the stuffy is, and I was still. I keep my eyes closed as long as I can, just hoping that maybe she'll like, it's not great. Find herself into some sort of, like, play world and I'll get to doze. Back off.

[Pete Holmes]

This is how we've been starting our days. Which is not a great way to start.

[Valerie]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

Where you're trying. You're just trying to close your eyes for ten more minutes.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the snooze button approach. And no one has a. It's not a perfect morning when you're hitting that snooze. You want to clap your hands and get out of bed.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Rock hard, like a sundial. Look at the noon sun shining down on your ding dong. Call your dad, tell him you're gay, and just keep, keep moving.

[Valerie]

Exactly. And instead we're hitting this. The child snooze. But.

[Pete Holmes]

And it doesn't work.

[Valerie]

It doesn't work.

[Pete Holmes]

It doesn't work.

[Valerie]

Yeah. So she was like, rolled all, like, over the top of me to get on the bed and then was like, oh, that's what it is. And she was like, mama, will you read me a book? And I had my eyes closed and my mouth and I just went.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God.

[Valerie]

And I had no idea of what I was trying. I just. It was like, maybe if I can make the sound that I'm saying something to her, it'll at least find me a little bit of time. Because if I don't respond, she'll be like, mom. I said. And I just was like, oh, my.

[Pete Holmes]

God, that is parenting. And as a. Oh, it's one of the sponsors for this episode, Hostage tape. As a hostage tape user, I've gotten very good at being like, ah, because that's so great.

[Valerie]

I should use hostage tape just so I don't have to talk to my kid.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, call your dad and tell him you're gay. I've been saying that this episode, that was just an old, old joke. In case anyone wouldn't chip. There's an old wooden chip. In case anyone is like, why does he keep saying that? That's just.

[Valerie]

Did you say that more than once? I don't even hear it anymore.

[Pete Holmes]

I know. It's like, just like, kind of like a knee jerk, like. And then we'll call my dad, tell him I'm gay. And I don't. So don't read too much into it, is all I'm saying.

[Valerie]

You're not gay.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, it's not. It's one, first and foremost, that I'm not gay. What if. Imagine I just want to be very.

[Valerie]

Not. Imagine if you were gay, but imagine if you were saying that you're not gay.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah. That was super important to me. Yeah.

[Valerie]

Is it the last day of Pride Month? It might be. I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Pride's over. We go back into the.

[Valerie]

Oh, no, it's July 1st. Pride is over.

[Pete Holmes]

The other. We're now in the 11 shame months.

[Valerie]

Yeah. You know what? That's right. Leela went. Yeah. So yesterday, you guys were at the park, and there was a Pride event happening there. And you. So you guys. So Leela came home with, like, a rainbow flag, a rainbow tattoo, a little like, you know, all this Pride stuff. And I started to explain it to her. She didn't even ask. But I heard this. Yeah. And I was like, do you know why? Why? I was like, this is for Pride Month. Do you know what that is? And she was like, what? And she's, like, going through her stuff, and I was like, it's just saying that, like, you know, girls can love girls, boys can love boys. Like, anyone can love anybody. Anyone can be anybody that they want to be. And she's like, huh? And then, like, just was like, look, I got this. I made this pot. And I was like, yeah, this is so dumb. I shouldn't. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like I'm like, I shouldn't explain this to her, because that's the reality that she lives in.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Valerie]

So by me explaining it, it's like implying that anybody would think that that isn't true.

[Pete Holmes]

It's hard to understand. Yeah.

[Valerie]

Well. And it's introducing the idea that some people might not even think that that is true.

[Pete Holmes]

True. Right.

[Valerie]

Right now, she lives in a beaut. She lives in a rainbow, where all of that is, of course, true. And who wouldn't think that?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. We've. We've talked about this before, and it's really hard to talk About. But I remember when I was learning about important things to learn about. But as a kid, you're learning about all different kinds of oppression. I won't even go into specifics. And that is really valid. And you. It's hard to not also just get this other message where you're like. And some people think that's good. And you're just like. It's this loss of innocence. Yeah, exactly what you're saying. You're going from your true rainbow state into sort of like a. Oh, yeah.

[Valerie]

And you know what's interesting is sorry to mention yet another podcast, but you know.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it's great. Click the link in the description to launch Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson's podcast.

[Valerie]

Come on. They're gonna find out about it anyway. Might as well hear about it from us.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, man. No, I'm not. I'm not even jelly, man. I'm not jelly and peanut butter.

[Valerie]

But on the handsome pod with fortune, Feamster, Tig Notaro.

[Pete Holmes]

And do you want to say the link HTTP://, slash.

[Valerie]

We love it. You had them on your pod.

[Pete Holmes]

Tig didn't show up.

[Valerie]

Promote it. I know Tig didn't show, but anyway. Excuse me. Sorry. They like for pride, they, they shared their coming out stories and I think it was May that said, like, ultimately, you know, I can't remember. I think they, they just said ultimately at the end. They're like just making a home for your child where it. They won't be nervous to tell you.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

It's like, that's a really good goal to have where it's just sort of open, like. Yeah. And I was like, that's. That's really articulating what I'm trying to do.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

Is just sort of setting the tone of like, we. We're going to be obsessed with you no matter what.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

Anyway, that was a tangent. Tangerine, is your briefcase still closed or. I mean. No. I feel.

[Pete Holmes]

I feel really good, you know.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I feel great.

[Valerie]

Yeah. We. I do have to pick up Leela.

[Pete Holmes]

That's okay. I knew this one would be a little bit shorter.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But I really, you know, I feel like we got right to it.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's just endlessly helpful. I think what we're doing is, you know, what good therapy can do as well is validating our experience, mirroring it, being honest about it. Yeah. That was an. We'll close with this kind of sweet thought it. We were talking about the boy, the mole, the Fox and the horse, which is an incredible book. That's almost impossible to get the name right. It's also an Apple TV movie that they did a great job with. But anyway, it's one of these incredible. It's just a tear jerker. It's like the Little Prince. Yeah, it's like filled with just delightful jewels.

[Valerie]

It's like the Little Prince, except for it's like every single page is just one of the best. It's like. It's a quote.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like the Little Prince but like condensed. Very condensed. The little. Condensed. The little purr. But there's some part where it goes. Sometimes I worry about being interesting. And then the horse or one of them says, be honest. The truth is always interesting. And I was like, that's just good advice.

[Valerie]

That's so good.

[Pete Holmes]

There's another one.

[Valerie]

I have another one.

[Pete Holmes]

What's the bravest thing you've ever seen?

[Valerie]

Yes, that's what I was going to say.

[Pete Holmes]

Let's do. This will be how we close. I'll say it to you. You say the answer and then you can say, keep it crispy and we'll. And we love you guys. Thank you for being here. Here's one of our favorite lines from the Boy, the mole, the fox and the horse. What's the bravest thing you've ever said?

[Valerie]

Help keep it Cris.