Podcast Summary: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Episode: We Made It Weird #194

Date: October 4, 2024
Host: Pete Holmes
Co-Host: Valerie

Overview

This episode of "We Made It Weird" is a freewheeling, joyfully absurd deep-dive into the secret weirdness of daily life, pop culture, and the oddities of perception. Pete Holmes and Valerie steer clear of "deep thoughts" in favor of a playful, synesthetic conversation. The episode spans from loving riffs on landline phones, courthouse architecture, and British traditions to improvisational games matching cereals to sodas and foods to movies or superheroes. Throughout, the two explore the pleasures of shared reality, sensory association, and the special intimacy of “having the same type of weird.”

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Landline vs. Cell Phone Nostalgia (05:24–10:10)

• The episode opens with Pete and Val riffing on the sensory experiences of landline telephones compared to cell phones and Zoom.
  • Intimacy of Landlines: Pete treasures the distinctive background noises and the "sense of presence" that landlines provided—something he feels is missing from modern calls.
  • “You could feel the person more… So intimate. The sense of being was transmitted.” — Pete, 06:52
  • Val recalls that hotel landlines have surprisingly good sound quality and that speaking softly feels natural, as if the person is right there.

2. Biology, Sphincters, and Childhood Curiosity (10:15–15:09)

• The conversation drifts into playful biology lessons about uvulas, epiglottis, sphincters, and digestive trivia.
  • Pete shares a story about explaining involuntary breathing to their daughter, Leela, using quirky, comical language:
  • “Leela said... but how? I’m not telling myself to breathe. And I was like, your body breathes.” — Pete/Val, 13:27
  • The duo laughs at how kids can overthink bodily processes, mirroring childhood anxieties and coping mechanisms.

3. Courtroom Architecture as Psychological Warfare (17:08–26:53)

• A silly yet pointed riff about why courthouse interiors are so imposing.
  • “The stairs and the slippy and the pillars are all like: ‘This isn’t a running place.’” — Pete, 25:19
  • Pete and Val build a theory that everything from the saloon-style doors to the slippery marble is designed to deter defendants from fleeing.
  • The sequence becomes an epic escalating bit about escaping court, with each architectural feature (swinging doors, bailiffs, marble floors, revolving doors) posing progressively more ridiculous challenges.

4. Cereal-to-Soda Synesthesia: The Game (28:08–39:59)

• Pete and Val excitedly play an improvised game pairing cereals to sodas (and later, other objects and characters), revealing their unique logic and shared sense of humor.
  • Core Pairings:
    • Apple Jacks = Mountain Dew “Not just the green—Apple Jacks is Mountain Dew.” — Valerie, 31:07
    • Frosted Flakes = Coca Cola (also seen as Captain America of cereals)
    • Special K = Diet Coke
    • Cocoa Pebbles = Dr. Pepper/Yoo-hoo
  • The magic, according to Val, is not about objective correctness but "seeing reality in the same way" as a soulmate.
  • “It doesn’t even matter if it’s objectively Mountain Dew… It's that you and I both agree." — Valerie, 31:12
  • The game expands to try to find the Sprite of cereals (which turns out, after deliberation, to be Rice Krispies).
    • “Sprite is clear before it’s lemon-lime.” — Pete, 34:14

5. More Food Synesthesia: Spielberg as a Cheeseburger (46:05–73:22)

• The conversation moves into matching movies, directors, Disney characters, and superheroes to foods, portraits of shared logic.
  • Jurassic Park evokes “beans and a waffle” for Valerie due to a childhood memory, which leads Pete to propose the feeling of coziness comes from danger being present but contained—like the T. Rex outside the car.
    • “There’s something cozy about it… cozy bean-waffle feeling.” — Pete, 49:49
  • Steven Spielberg is ultimately dubbed "a shiny top, seedless cheeseburger bun, in a red plaid tray, with the best fries you’ve ever had," after consulting ChatGPT—who agrees with Pete and Val’s assessment.

6. ChatGPT as a Surrogate Friend (69:04–77:14)

• The pair further riff using ChatGPT, asking it food/pop culture match questions, delighting when it reciprocates their logic.
  • Spider-Man = Grilled Cheese (per AI)
  • Cheerios = Canada Dry Ginger Ale (per AI)
• Pete jokes about AI someday naming this flavor of playful, personal humor after him, imagining “humor 2.975-1324.”

7. Shared Reality & Relationship Insight (57:13–68:20)

• In an introspective thread, Pete notes:
  • “You and I are sealed together. Way past sense of humor… You even categorize reality the same way.” — Pete, 57:18
  • The conversation becomes a love letter to the joy of finding someone who “maps reality” the same way via weird, delightful associative games.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-----------|-------|---------| | 06:52 | “You could feel the person more… So intimate. The sense of being was transmitted.” | Pete Holmes | | 14:53 | “Your pursed lips...I think it’s something like 30%. Like, you do it for five minutes, it lowers your cortisol… I do it all the time.” | Pete Holmes | | 25:19 | “The stairs and the slippy and the pillars are all like: ‘This isn’t a running place… Put in pillars, put in marble. Good luck. You’re going to jail.’” | Pete Holmes | | 31:12 | “It doesn’t even matter if it’s objectively Mountain Dew… It’s that you and I both agree. Like, we see it as Mountain Dew.” | Valerie | | 34:14 | “Sprite is clear before it’s lemon-lime.” | Pete Holmes | | 41:19 | “If it was a British cereal, it’d be like: I’m all right. I get. Sugar on corn…Not the full way. Still gonna want a cup of tea.” | Pete Holmes, as “British Tony the Tiger” | | 49:49 | “There’s something cozy about it… cozy bean-waffle feeling.” | Pete Holmes | | 57:18 | “Well, you and I are sealed together. Way past sense of humor… once you get into the anals you go like, wow. They even categorize reality the same way.” | Pete Holmes | | 73:41 | “Honestly… wow.” | Valerie, echoing chatGPT’s brilliance | | 76:11 | "Knowing where the danger is… it can create a sense of control amidst chaos.” | ChatGPT, as quoted by Pete | | 77:31 | “And watch me smile as a single tear rolls down my face, out of laughter and nostalgia.” | Pete Holmes |

Essential Timestamps

• 05:24 — Start of main content: landline nostalgia
• 17:08 — Judicial architecture riff
• 28:08 — Cereal-to-Soda game introduction
• 39:59 — Expansion to other “synesthetic” mappings
• 46:05 — Spielberg as food, movie/food matches
• 57:18 — Insights on shared reality
• 69:04 — ChatGPT joins the game
• 76:11 — AI explains coziness in the Jurassic Park T. Rex scene
• 77:14 — Episode wrap-up and signoff

Conclusion

This episode is a hilarious, meandering celebration of private weirdness and the beauty of shared, inexplicable connections. Pete and Val turn inside jokes and everyday oddities into a uniquely intimate, joyful listening experience, demonstrating how laughter and imagination can transform the mundane into something magical. Their playful mapping of foods to pop culture—validated hilariously by ChatGPT—serves as both comedy and relationship insight: the right kind of “weird” is best when shared.