We Made It Weird #196

Summary

Podcast Summary: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes – Episode #196

Release Date: November 1, 2024

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Introduction and Welcome

Pete Holmes and Valerie Tosi kick off the episode after a brief hiatus, mentioning their hectic schedules and upcoming tour dates. Pete emphasizes the value of their bonus episodes, showcasing their deep appreciation for the listeners.

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Cultural Evolution of the "Nerd" Archetype

Timestamp: [06:03]

Discussion Starter: Valerie brings up the classic portrayal of nerds in shows like Family Matters, questioning how characters like Urkel shaped societal views on intelligence and social behavior.

Key Points:

• Urkel's Impact: Pete reflects on the lingering insecurities from the 90s era, where brilliant yet socially awkward characters like Urkel became comedic fixtures. He says, “There’s a residue of that Urkel mentality,” highlighting how such portrayals stemmed from societal discomfort with intellectual superiority.

• Modern Perception: Valerie argues that the stereotypical nerd image has faded, especially among younger generations like Gen Z and millennials. They discuss modern examples like Napoleon Dynamite, where the character embraced his quirks, shifting the narrative from mockery to celebration.

• True Nerds Today: Pete defends the complexity of true nerds beyond mainstream interests, referencing Portlandia and American Splendor to illustrate that genuine nerdiness encompasses more nuanced traits like passion and depth.

Notable Quote: Valerie states, “I think the concept of nerds is dead,” to which Pete responds thoughtfully, acknowledging the evolving definition and societal acceptance of nerd culture.

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Cyclical Nature of Cultural Trends and Overcorrections

Timestamp: [09:17]

Main Discussion: Pete and Valerie delve into the cyclical patterns of cultural trends, particularly how movements swing between extremes, leading to overcorrections.

Key Points:

• Political and Social Waves: They compare political dynamics to cultural shifts, noting how societies oscillate between being overly sensitive and then swinging to the opposite extreme. Pete illustrates this with the example, “Whenever anything we start, then we go too far and then we move back.”

• Comedy’s Role: Comedy mirrors these societal swings. Pete mentions, “Shane Gillis is very funny,” highlighting how comedians often push boundaries until public sentiment shifts, forcing another cycle of overcorrection.

• Balance and Equilibrium: Both agree on the importance of maintaining balance, recognizing that constant flux is natural and essential for growth. Valerie adds, “Nothing in nature is constant and stays nothing,” emphasizing the inevitability of change.

Notable Quote: Pete muses, “What is going to happen is that maybe the thing that you’re aligned with, more sensitive about our words, that will be winning for a time. That's just the countdown to when we'll start correcting it and overcorrecting it.”

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Personal Anecdotes and Reflections

Timestamp: [14:10]

Story Sharing: The hosts share personal memories, such as Pete’s experience watching an Avengers movie decades later and how cultural artifacts age differently. Valerie reminisces about childhood experiences with summer drinks and uncomfortable school attire.

Key Points:

• Nostalgia and Change: Pete reflects on how cultural products like the first Avengers movie appear outdated over time, symbolizing broader societal shifts.

• Family Memories: Valerie recounts memories of cold lemonade, tying it to familial experiences and the emotional significance of simple comforts during challenging times.

Notable Quote: Valerie shares a poignant childhood memory, “I have a memory of being in the drive home, and I just wanted cold lemonade more than anything,” highlighting the deep emotional connections formed through sensory experiences.

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Therapy and Internal Family Systems

Timestamp: [50:35]

Deep Dive: Both hosts discuss their therapeutic journeys, focusing on Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and its role in understanding and healing their inner selves.

Key Points:

• Meeting Inner Characters: Pete describes confronting his internal “man in the bar” character, representing his quest for validation and achievement. He shares his emotional process of acknowledging and nurturing this part.

• Valerie’s Insights: Valerie elaborates on tending to feelings as if they were children, emphasizing the importance of providing love and care to each internal part to foster healing and autonomy.

• Reparenting and Autonomy: They explore the concept of reparenting their inner child selves, advocating for self-sufficiency and justice by meeting their own needs rather than relying on external validation.

Notable Quote: Pete explains, “These feelings don’t want to be healed. They want to be held,” underscoring the necessity of embracing and nurturing emotions rather than suppressing them.

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Parent-Child Relationships and Reconnection Challenges

Timestamp: [60:03]

Case Study: Pete recounts watching an Anna Nicole Smith documentary, drawing parallels between her futile attempts to reconnect with her father and his own experiences with his parents.

Key Points:

• Anna Nicole’s Struggle: The documentary illustrates the difficulties of reconnecting with estranged parents, highlighting emotional turmoil and unmet needs for approval.

• Personal Resonance: Pete relates this to his own life, sharing the painful memory of his parents struggling to find him at the airport, symbolizing missed connections and ongoing family tensions.

• Emotional Impact: The discussion reveals the deep-seated pain stemming from unresolved familial relationships and the quest for acceptance.

Notable Quote: Pete reflects, “Just a little shovel, and who's left is this, you know, like, Lebowski kind of like,” expressing his frustration with the futility of trying to force meaningful reconnections.

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Protecting the Inner Child and Establishing Boundaries

Timestamp: [67:00]

Guidance and Strategies: Valerie and Pete discuss strategies for protecting their inner child selves while maintaining healthy boundaries in adulthood.

Key Points:

• Autonomy and Justice: Valerie emphasizes that true justice comes from within, asserting that relying on others for approval is unfair to oneself. She states, “My autonomy, not needing anything, being able to provide everything I need myself is justice.”

• Balancing Innocence and Maturity: They explore the delicate balance between preserving the purity of their inner child selves and adapting to adult responsibilities and boundaries.

• Parental Influence: The conversation touches on how parental behaviors and societal expectations shape one’s approach to relationships and self-worth.

Notable Quote: Valerie shares, “We really want to protect this very pure, innocent time,” highlighting the importance of safeguarding the inner child’s essence amidst life’s complexities.

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Humorous Interludes and Light-Hearted Moments

Timestamp: [33:02]

Comedy and Banter: Throughout the episode, Pete and Valerie infuse humor into their deep discussions, creating a balanced and engaging dialogue.

Key Points:

• Playful Language: They joke about renaming tights to “underpants” and share amusing anecdotes about childhood beverage experiences, adding levity to their conversations.

• Relatable Moments: Sharing personal stories about family interactions and childhood memories, they connect with listeners through shared experiences and laughter.

Notable Quote: Pete humorously insists, “Let me be brief,” during a playful exchange about underwear terminology, showcasing their natural comedic chemistry.

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Timestamp: [74:19]

Wrap-Up: As the episode concludes, Pete and Valerie reflect on the importance of balancing personal growth with maintaining a playful and creative mindset. They emphasize the necessity of engaging authentically with life’s challenges while protecting their inner selves.

Key Points:

• Embracing Change: They acknowledge the constant evolution required to navigate personal and societal shifts, advocating for openness and adaptability.

• Supporting Each Other: The hosts reaffirm their commitment to supporting each other’s growth and maintaining a healthy balance between vulnerability and strength.

• Final Encouragement: Valerie encourages listeners to “keep it crispy,” leaving them with a sense of warmth and ongoing support.

Notable Quote: Pete concludes with heartfelt appreciation, “Thank you all for listening. And just go ahead and keep it crispy,” reinforcing the show’s supportive and inclusive ethos.

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Key Takeaways:

1. Evolving Stereotypes: The portrayal of nerds has shifted from mockery to a more nuanced and appreciated depiction in modern culture.
2. Cultural Cycles: Societal trends naturally oscillate between extremes, necessitating balance and adaptability.
3. Personal Healing: Embracing therapeutic practices like IFS can lead to profound self-understanding and emotional healing.
4. Family Dynamics: Reconnecting with estranged family members is complex and often unfulfilling without mutual understanding.
5. Protecting the Inner Child: Maintaining a connection with one’s inner child while establishing adult boundaries is crucial for emotional well-being.
6. Humor as Therapy: Incorporating humor and shared anecdotes can effectively balance deep discussions and connect with audiences.

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Notable Quotes:

• Pete Holmes: “This is a game changer. I always, always, always wear it every single day.” [04:00]
• Valerie Tosi: “I think the concept of nerds is dead.” [09:25]
• Pete Holmes: “What is going to happen is that maybe the thing that you’re aligned with, more sensitive about our words, will be winning for a time.” [17:30]
• Valerie Tosi: “We really want to protect this very pure, innocent time.” [71:31]
• Pete Holmes: “Thank you all for listening. And just go ahead and keep it crispy.” [74:19]

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Final Thoughts: Episode #196 of You Made It Weird offers a rich tapestry of cultural analysis, personal anecdotes, and therapeutic insights, seamlessly blending humor with heartfelt discussions. Pete Holmes and Valerie Tosi provide listeners with both entertainment and profound reflections on personal growth, societal trends, and the complexities of family relationships.

Transcript

[Pete Holmes]

You made it weird. You made it weird. You made it with. Oh, yeah, you made it with. You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

[Valerie Tosi]

What's happening, weirdos?

[Pete Holmes]

What's happening?

[Valerie Tosi]

We're back.

[Pete Holmes]

We're back, baby.

[Valerie Tosi]

We're back, baby.

[Pete Holmes]

Val was sick and we had some big guests. So sometimes when the guests are big, we'll take the week off. Just to put more. More highlight on the Anna Kendrick episode.

[Valerie Tosi]

We were out of town, too. It's been a busy three weeks. Really.

[Pete Holmes]

It's been a beast. Yeah. But we're so happy to be back. And we're rested and ready. Rested and we're ready.

[Valerie Tosi]

Rested and I'm ready to begin. You went up with that intro to be.

[Pete Holmes]

We're so glad you're here. This is a great episode. I know I always say that if you're new to these episodes, these are kind of the bonus episodes, but that seems like putting it down.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah. What it is is I think Anna Kendrick's the bonus.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I love her song. Wednesday is the guest driven. Friday is me and Val. Val and I are lovers.

[Valerie Tosi]

Okay?

[Pete Holmes]

And we. I love these, and I love that you guys listen. It's. These are some of my favorites to do, and this is no exception. So if you like the show, we're gonna. We're gonna play some ads here. I always say try to be as transparent as we can about the ads. These are how we pay the staff. Katie Levine, our wonderful producer, Joe Faria, our video producer, all that stuff. It keeps the lights on, as they say. But they are products that we use and love. So if any of them are mildly interesting to you, give them a try. Supports the show, and we really appreciate it. Also, I'm on tour. Raleigh, North Carolina, is next, followed by Indianapolis, Seattle, Portland. On December 20th is a special one. The first show at the Aladdin has sold out. The second one, I believe there's still tickets available, and I believe we're going to be filming that one. I've already done a special at the Aladdin, but we're going to film this and see how we feel about it. And then Eugene, Oregon, the next night is sold out. A lot of fans in Oregon means a lot. But let's see if we can sell that second Aladdin out and maybe add a third, who knows? And then Phoenix, Arizona. So those are them, Katie. Roll those ads, guys. Give these a try if you can. Roll it. Pardon the interruption, weirdos. This episode is brought to us by our friends at Apollo. You can see in this episode, I'm wearing my Apollo. I'm actually not wearing it right now cause it's charging. That's the only time I'm not wearing my Apollo is when I briefly have to charge it. What is an Apollo? It is a piece of wearable tech. And it is a piece of technology that's changed my life the most, hands down in the past years. It's wearable. Helps your body recover from stress by sending vibrations into your body at an almost sub perceptual level. That helps your nervous system be calm and in control. By giving it the sensation of being touched or held. Apollo can help you relax, sleep, focus and be more productive. Every night it lulls me to sleep and it's smart. It reruns in the night to keep me asleep. It's like a wearable hug for the nervous system. Using touch therapy to help you feel safe and in control. I like to wear it on the wrist. Val wears hers on her ankle. Apollo Neuro is like finding the fuse box for your emotional life, for your physical body. With settings for energy, social, clear and focused. Rebuild and recover, calm, unwind and fall asleep. Apollo Neuro is not woo woo. It's not a crystal. It was not developed by a hippie in Sedona. It was developed by a neuroscientist and a board certified psychiatrist who have been studying the impacts of chronic stress in humans for nearly 15 years. And Apollo's effects on stress, sleep, cognitive performance and recovery have been proven in multiple clinical trials and real world studies. And I'm here to tell you I'm one of those studies. I'm a living study. My own personal anecdotal experience with the Apollo is it is a game changer. I always, always always wear it every single day. You get 40 bucks [e-mail] weird using promo code weird. That's a P O L O n u r o.com weird use promo code weird for $40 off. Great gift by the way for anybody in your life that could use a little assistance. And couldn't we all regulating their bodies and their emotions. We're also brought to us by our friends at Living Libations. I always say this, this is a great way to support the show because I guarantee you there's something in your medicine cabinet. Could be a moisturizer, it could be something for your teeth, it could be something for your baby hair, nails, eyes, whatever it is. Living Libations is a high end. Meaning quality. Meaning kick ass effective but natural alternative to the random chemical nightmares they sell at convenience stores. I'm Very mindful about what I put in my body. But I realized a few years ago I wasn't being very mindful about what I put on my body. Of course, the things you put on your body end up in your bloodstream. End up in your body. I was buying a shaving cream that was like a pressurized blue goofy and it can not anymore. Living Libations came in. We did a complete overhaul. You can get something small, you get something big. Support your body, support the show. I love their Zen shave cream. It's the only shaving cream you can use as an aftershave. That's how naturally you just rub it in when you're done. It's incredible. Feeding your skin everything that it needs. We use the best skin ever face moisturizer at night, which makes a huge noticeable difference to your glow and to the feeling feel of your skin. And we love their zinc based sunblock in the summer and all of their baby stuff. For Leela, it's great to feel like you're putting something natural that you can trust on your family, on your child. So do it. Great way to support the show and support your body. You get 15% off, tons and tons of stuff. Go to livinglibations.com weird for 15% off. That's livinglibations.com weird. All right, everybody. So glad you're here.

[Valerie Tosi]

Valerie, get into it. Mind if I have a little cheese?

[Pete Holmes]

Why is a cheese a nerd?

[Valerie Tosi]

Okay, a bigger question. I think I know Family Matters. As somebody who watched it regularly.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Valerie Tosi]

What the hell was that? What happened in our culture where that was comedy?

[Pete Holmes]

Like, what a nerd.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah. And like, and I feel like the original idea for the show was like, this is about a family, like, with struggles. And then it became like 98% about Urkel being a nerd and liking cheese.

[Pete Holmes]

And like, I love that, you know, gotta cheese. Cause people, people know, did I do that right?

[Valerie Tosi]

Oh, no, I'm telling you.

[Pete Holmes]

Got any cheeses? Was intended to be just as strong of a catchphrase as did I do that?

[Valerie Tosi]

I, I, I'm telling you, I loved that show.

[Pete Holmes]

Me too.

[Valerie Tosi]

But what, but in hindsight, truly, what the hell happened?

[Pete Holmes]

We've been, I think about this a lot. You know, Leela has a friend who's a genius, a little friend who's a genius. And I find this, like, very 90s inclination to like, want to laugh, like somehow break the tension. This kid is so much better than me. So I'm going to like, kind of like whatever. Nothing mean, but there's like, there's, like, a residue of that Urkel mentality. Like, who's this brainiac kind of thing?

[Valerie Tosi]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

Obviously, I don't act on it, but I think it's a remnant of, like, maybe insecurities. Certainly. Yeah. What it is, like, what it is, is. What it is, is. That's funny. Incongruity, right? So someone is so smart. So the kid. That is a genius. We have a Halloween memory about that kid. This kid is amazing. I love her. She's like a member of our family. And if you gave her a bottle of water, she wouldn't know how to open it. So that's this, a year ago. That's incongruity. We think it's very funny if you can think perfectly, but you can't walk. Cool. You know what I mean?

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah, I guess.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, that is a joke to us. Like, this person. Like, I was thinking about, you know, well, the. Over, like, the. Why is it, like, dorky that if science was like, there's a. There's a troll. There's a dragon coming to the castle, and they get at their protractors and they're like, well, if he flies at this route and we prepare, and then they all get torched. Like, that's like a classic, right? Because that's kind of how humans are. Like, thinking is the best thing, and it's our undoing. So it's funny that someone's like, a black belt at very meticulous thinking. And we even find this in. You know, it's part of why people are like, global warming. Shut up, you fucking eggheads. Which they shouldn't, obviously. But I think it's born out of that observation. Like, thinking is great, and sometimes maybe it's just time to walk cool and open a water bottle.

[Valerie Tosi]

That's really interesting.

[Pete Holmes]

Did that make any sense?

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah, but I think it's outdated. I mean, I think.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it never made sense.

[Valerie Tosi]

Well, yeah, it never made sense, but I'm saying I don't. Well, I could be wrong. This could be, like, my bubble. But I was. I don't think that's a thing anymore. I think in the 80s and 90s, we had Urkel, we had Revenge of the Nerds, we had Screech. Like, it was such a part of our culture that it was like, there are nerds. Don't be a nerd. And, like, can you think of any? Especially, like, Gen Z or even millennial example of that? Like, we don't.

[Pete Holmes]

Napoleon Dynamite and that.

[Valerie Tosi]

And that was, like, everybody wanted to be him.

[Pete Holmes]

That's so funny.

[Valerie Tosi]

That was the turn of it, maybe.

[Pete Holmes]

It was like, you. He does that dance. Like, he studiously learns that dance. That's cool.

[Valerie Tosi]

Loved Napoleon Dynamite. Exactly. But I wondering if, you know, like, other parts of the country, you know, like, maybe I'm like, the concept of nerds is dead. And, like, that's so great. And then I'm like, well, maybe that's just because I live amongst the nerds. And there are still, like, you know, people in Boston or in the south that are like, don't be in dork.

[Pete Holmes]

I take. I do take slight issue with this, and I do it on behalf of the true nerds. There's this whole thing. They did it on Portlandia, where a true nerd isn't just someone who sees Marvel movies. You know what I mean? That's done. Oh, you like Game of Thrones? And it's certainly not just someone who likes reading, is good at math, or is, like, judicious about doing their own taxes or anything. That's not enough to make a nerd.

[Valerie Tosi]

Well, no, a lot of those things are mainstream, too.

[Pete Holmes]

Absolutely. It is mainstream. And this is why. I mean, I'm actually definitely defending the true nerd. The true nerd. Like in American Splendor, Judah Friedlander's character, we're talking about, like, autism. Severe autism.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah, sure.

[Pete Holmes]

That, to me, is what we were trying to reconcile. And the comedy. Comedy has so much to do with aligning yourself with power. I'm not an idiot. I'm not a weirdo. I'm not a freak. Even in your freakiness, you find a way to celebrate it into the mainstream. So when we had autism showing up more and more, and I say this as someone with family members, definitely non neurotypical. And there was just teasing. That was all that there was. That was treatment.

[Valerie Tosi]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

It wasn't treatment. It sucked.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's what Urkel was, was. They were going like, we don't know what to do. There are these, like, computer people.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

That can't dance. They don't know how to flirt. They don't understand social cues.

[Valerie Tosi]

Exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

They don't understand vocal volume. What do we do with them?

[Valerie Tosi]

We didn't know about autism or neurodivergence in any way. So that was.

[Pete Holmes]

What is. Got any cheese? Got any cheese? That's a person who doesn't know how to ask for a snack, and they're doing it at the wrong time.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And what is cheese if not kind of like a disgusting, fragrant. You know what I mean?

[Valerie Tosi]

I Like, cheese had some soda and.

[Pete Holmes]

I fucking wish you didn't. No, I'm just saying. I just taught Leela the phrase cut the cheese. And it means. Obviously, we know. Obviously, it means fart. It means fart. It's a wonderful way, because when you cut into a block of cheese, it releases the smell. It's the grossest way. It's the grossest way to smell.

[Valerie Tosi]

I never thought about why it was called that. No.

[Pete Holmes]

You gotta block a limb burger. And it doesn't smell until you cut it. And it's disgusting.

[Valerie Tosi]

That's terrible.

[Pete Holmes]

Cut the cheese is disgusting? Well, yeah, as a phrase.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I just thought it. Leela. I couldn't. I couldn't be happier.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But I remember I.

[Valerie Tosi]

Last night, you taught her that. I didn't know it. I came up to put her to bed, and she was like, what did you cut? And I was like, I didn't cut anything. And she went, you cut the cheese? And I got so defensive. I was like, no, I didn't.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie Tosi]

And you were like, I just taught her that for. She just wanted to say that.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, she. It was a gotcha moment. It was just. It was just to illustrate that she learned it and couldn't wait to say it to you. And you were like, no, it didn't.

[Valerie Tosi]

That's how defensive I get about farts.

[Pete Holmes]

It is the grossest way. In fact, if I were to try to summarize the 80s and how the 80s was different than now, it's that we called farting cut the cheese. It's so disgusting.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah. And I would.

[Pete Holmes]

It's invasive. It's gross. It's a little esoteric.

[Valerie Tosi]

I know. And I think, like, what is it? Garbage Pail Kids? It's like that kind of puking Polly. Like, what were we doing? What was that?

[Pete Holmes]

Bmx Ben. And he's, like, running over a. An old lady.

[Valerie Tosi]

I think it really is us reconciling, like, over correcting. I wonder. This is my theory, because the 80s was also the era of the yuppie. No, I was absolutely pendulum swinging from hippies. And so it was like, be buttoned up. Don't, you know, like, have a calculator in your car? This is what I think Jeff used to have.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Valerie Tosi]

And then it was like, car phone. There's an equal and opposite reaction. So then you're like, garbage. Yeah. And my therapist actually had an interesting theory. I didn't even tell you this. That, like, body horror, you know, I was telling you that's, like, a thing right now, is Like, I don't know that much about it, but I know that, like, body horror is a genre that's, like, really coming out and apparently substance. The new movie is, like, classic body horror. And I don't know if this genre is new, but it's new to me. And she was saying, like, I think this is a. A correction from, like, swinging so far towards PC, like, being. Being careful what you say, watching. And she's like, because we can't ignore the primal. Like, you have to have both.

[Pete Holmes]

And then it goes too far. Like, Tony Hinchcliffe's joke was me going like, oh, it's starting to bleed over the edge. Right. So we had this time, and I'm not. I'm not saying we shouldn't still be considerate, but there was a time that it really was on the forefront of everybody's mind. Yeah, don't get canceled. Don't say that. Don't say the thing.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then people get a little tense on that. And then comedy always goes with the seasons and the flows, and then it always, inevitably goes too far. Right. I would even say that, like, I never really even watched Fallon. I always just use Fallon as my example of, like, he just seems like a sweetie. So he's just kind of doing sweetie stuff and being sweet. So no shade here. Not dragging him. I'm just saying that seemed to be, like, what we want, and it goes between these two.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I think Shane Gillis is very funny, but Shane comes out to be like, what? What the fuck? What? What? And then it always. Once someone breaks that membrane, people go like, we're going this way now. We're going this way now. And like, we inevitably, Whichever direction we're going on, anything we start, then we go too far and then we move back. And here's what's weird, is whether that's happening politically or culturally or comedically, we always forget that that's how the world works, that it's always just this in and out, and it's this wave of going up and down, up and down, and we get caught in going like, my good must win and my bad must lose. And it's like, actually, what's going to happen is that maybe the thing that you're aligned with, let's say, being more sensitive about our. More considerate about our words, that will be winning for a time. That's just the countdown to when we'll start correcting it and overcorrecting it. And we do that in government as well. That's why it's so I think it's brilliant that we have two parties. I don't love the state of politics right now. I think it's become grotesque, obviously. But I do see a wisdom. Two halves of our brain.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Whenever you're looking at your psyche, like Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde kind of stuff, it's always two. It's always like we have these two things, so let's let them fight.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And in. In between, maybe there'll be some equilibrium.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah, I think so too. And I don't know, I. It feels like the seasonal thing we forget in our personal lives and then we forget on the larger scale too. So it's. It's like what we've talked about on this podcast before, where, like, if I'm in a certain mood, I go like, this is me now. This is my forever. I'm this person now. And we do that with the moods of the culture too, where we're like, it's PC. You cannot say any of that stuff ever again. And then it overcorrects and we're all like, wait, we're what's going. We're going backwards. And it's like, no, there's just constant expansion and contraction.

[Pete Holmes]

Here's another way. I was watch. I got a little stone last night. Just a little bit stone. And I. Just a little. And I watched the first Avengers movie. It's so stupid. It's not stupid. I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but I was like, remember that? Like the first Avengers, that's like fucking 20 years ago. So I put it on and obviously when the first Avengers came out, it was the cutting edge. And now you watch it and you're like, it looks a little whatever year it was. The sunglasses, the cuts of the suits. So everything is moving and every fashion. And what you were saying about the 80s, the reason why it was garbage pill kids, the reason why it was Schwarzenegger and cigars and Hummers was exactly. Because that's what the economy was. And it was an exactly in response to hippies. Obviously, hippies were an extreme of the culture in the way that hipsters were an extreme of the early 2000s. So it wasn't just hippies and yuppies, but, like, these are the symbols of the. Of the far side of that spectrum. And like, being in a field and taking acid and dancing with a swan is going to make a guy with slick back hair and suspenders, like, bulldoze a playground to make a toxic waste factory if it means he makes 30,000 extra dollars. So he can pinch a waitress in the ass. You know, like all that bad behavior is. It's just what we do. It's like you can't get away from it. It can't be.

[Valerie Tosi]

The nature of reality is sort of. Is balance, you know, and like, it's not. We're not doing it perfectly because we would just stay balanced. But we're doing our version of it, which is like overcompensating and then coming kind of back and then overcompensating again and then coming. You know that's right. And. But it is. It's better than just staying. And we couldn't anyway. Because nothing in nature is constant and stays nothing.

[Pete Holmes]

That's the whole message. This too shall pass. And every. Like, you know, you can't. This is moving. This is moving. Yeah, it's always moving.

[Valerie Tosi]

You can't hold any of it.

[Pete Holmes]

And when they ate from the tree of Good and Evil, right? It's eating of. Yes and no, black and white, light and dark. And then human beings. You know, I have that joke. It's not on the special, but it's not. We made this doc about the cut bits of my special. And it's like the way that we came into existence. Because I do this joke about the fish that left the ocean, that grew legs, little feet, and walked out of the ocean. And I'm like. I do the joke and I'm like, why did he want to walk out? It's fucking Zuba. And then I go, you know, I read this. The reason it's a theory why the fish left the ocean was because there was a. That asteroid the size of Texas that killed the dinosaurs, made the oceans so toxic, inhospitable to life that the fish had to leave.

[Valerie Tosi]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

So they're fucking fine. Yeah, they're prehistoric fish. Fish don't even know they're prehistoric. It's just life.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Just going around eating whatever's floating. They don't know what year it is. Dumb fucking fish. Then the unwanted asteroid boils. The ocean toxifies the ocean and it makes them grow legs and walk out. And then that evolves and evolves and evolves and becomes us. And the joke goes. And it's crazy that we're born on the backs of catastrophe and we walk around going, why can't things be perfect?

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah, that's right.

[Pete Holmes]

That isn't my material. I stole that joke from the universe. That was the universe's bit. The universe's bit is that we are in a constant wave flux. Light, dark, light, dark, light, dark. Washing machine. And we're just going, like. And everything good comes from going through conflict, comes from going through. All growth comes from that. And we go like, why can't it just be pumpkin spice lattes and colonics? Whatever you like to do.

[Valerie Tosi]

Well, yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Do very specific things.

[Valerie Tosi]

It seems like the fundamental, you know, force of life is to evolve, is to keep going, growing, moving forward. And there's you. I mean, it's a cliche for a reason. Like, you don't do that if you're comfortable.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't.

[Valerie Tosi]

So it's. We can brace against the things that make us uncomfortable and try to, like, dig our feet in and stay. But we're going against not just, like, our own life's momentum, but, like, the capital L. Life's momentum.

[Pete Holmes]

The whole thing.

[Valerie Tosi]

The whole nature of reality, the whole thing.

[Pete Holmes]

We say it constantly on this podcast, but you don't want to just be happy doing nothing. You want to be happy doing nothing after you went through something.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And what. I'm fortunate. My job challenges me. So doing standup is always a little bit scary, a little bit tense, where there's stakes to. It could really go badly. It could really go well. And then the day after always feels so fantastic. We talk about that. I just did my largo this month. That day I'm just a little tense. And then afterwards, I feel fantastic. So we want. There was a saint that used to pray for just the right amount of adversity.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And I forget which one it was.

[Valerie Tosi]

That's a 9. An enneagram 9 prayer if I've ever heard it.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, what you want is that perfect amount. I think if you retreat too much and really just try. It's like a myth. You just try to make. You know the house on the hill, The Howard. Howard Hughes. Yeah, Howard Hughes. You have everything in your mansion. You don't. You never go out. Your food is all there. You have butlers and stuff. It's like, that doesn't work. You need to be in the fray.

[Valerie Tosi]

But it is also balanced. That's why I like the just right amount of adversity too much. We've known people who are, like, perfectionists about themselves, and it seems like they just want to live in the fire. And everything needs to be a constant challenge and opportunity to growth.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't mean to pat ourselves on the back, but we are a sine wave. We are. We have seasons. We're in one right now. I've been home for the past 10 days. We've been like gooey family we're going trick or treating today. It's been amazing. And it comes on the back of, like, I went out three weekends, basically, in a row, which was awesome. But, you know, I started losing my voice, start losing my mind a little bit.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It gets a little bit crazy, and then the sizzle. The wave hits the beach, and then it pulls back, and there's the sizzle, and. But you can't only sizzle, and you can't only wave. Yeah, but we know. We know. Look, I'm glad you made that distinction. Cause I am not saying get up, put a car battery on your nipples and run uphill, but grease your feet. I'm not.

[Valerie Tosi]

Can you clip these?

[Pete Holmes]

Die Hard. Indeed. Die Hard On. Okay. What I'm saying is, yes, just the right Arnold Palmer. But one of the things, you know, when I hadn't done, I hadn't smoked, eaten weed in a really long time. And as people know, I love bringing this up. I can't bring it up enough. I like getting up in the morning, and I do my cold exposure. I noticed that if I smoke weed or eat weed the next morning, whatever part of me that is just not about that, it's like the part of me that wants to get up, read, exercise, whatever, the things that make me feel good, that part is the part that gets stoned first. So he's hit in the head with a shovel, and who's left is this, you know, like, Lebowski kind of like, we don't want to get in the water, man. That's fucking cold. Get a bathrobe and a roach clip, man. I'm just saying, man. It's all right. And, like, I don't think. Why does. Why is the Dude a good character? Because he's trying to relax.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And yet he can't. That's the blend.

[Valerie Tosi]

That's the blend.

[Pete Holmes]

If that dude had his way and just smoked joints in a bathrobe and drank White Russians, that's not a good Dude. That's not the Dude. The dude is like, hey, man, there's a beverage here, man. He's in the fray.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And what I'm doing with cold exposure or getting up early, these, like, micro disciplines is trying to welcome enough fray into my life because, you know. Yeah, it's like, we fast, right? And the past 10 days, I haven't been fasting. I do two days where I only eat 500 calories. That. It's called 6:2, if you're interested. Any who's a woozle?

[Valerie Tosi]

It's called 5:2.

[Pete Holmes]

5, 2. Excuse me. Yeah, it has to add up to 7, doesn't it? 5, 2, 5, colon, 2. And I stopped doing it because of whatever travel something. I don't do it on days where I have shows, blah, blah, blah. So I just wasn't doing it. And then at a certain point I started feeling this sort of like gravy density in my life where I was like, all I do is eat. Like I just. Because I'm also not great with food. That's my drug of choice. It's the blanket you chew. So I need. You've never heard me say that I need to manufacture because otherwise I don't have the levels just right there. Needs. And I'm going to say the fasting days and the getting up early and the cold exposure or whatever it might be. That's the lemonade. Or maybe. Maybe that's the iced tea. What do you think?

[Valerie Tosi]

I think that's the iced tea.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Because bland.

[Valerie Tosi]

Because. Yeah. And it's a little bitter. Like the lemonade is pure sweet.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. In my mind it was bad lemonade. It was too bitter. Can you put some sugar?

[Valerie Tosi]

What? No.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Valerie Tosi]

But I'm the type of person who can have a bad lemonade.

[Pete Holmes]

That's very interesting, Val, because I'm the kind of person that if you say, do you want some lemonade? I'm surprised I didn't know this about myself. I'm 99% sure it's going to be bitter and unpleasant. Like, I'm not gonna lie.

[Valerie Tosi]

When you say bitter, you must mean sour.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes, sour.

[Valerie Tosi]

Okay, well, that's two different flavors.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. Do you. Can I talk to sour too sour.

[Valerie Tosi]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

Lemonade yellowness makes me think, like, remember when you would see lemonade in a cartoon?

[Valerie Tosi]

Uh huh.

[Pete Holmes]

It's just yellow and there's.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I wanted it to taste like how I thought it would taste based on the color in the cartoon. I mean, same with water. That perfect blue Power Ranger.

[Valerie Tosi]

It feels like what you want is pink lemonade. And of course you do. It's a perfect drink.

[Pete Holmes]

Even that the parts of my mouth, the bumpers.

[Valerie Tosi]

You have to get past that. You. That's just the first sip.

[Pete Holmes]

Valerie. I can't believe. So when we say you're an enneagram9, it's like you're like a beach. You want to be on the beach. You want to be comfortable, you want to be in bed. You want to watch. You love the fall. You light a fire, you get a blanket, you get a cup of coffee, you get a book. And I love that, too. But you would think that you're based on everything I know about you. Your drink should be hot chocolate.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Not hot cocoa. Milky Swiss Miss Fucking. It definitely is, like, an earth tone, gritty, textured mug with like, a little thumbprint where you can drink.

[Valerie Tosi]

Well, you know, those are the mugs that I have.

[Pete Holmes]

And. That's right. It's a hobbit mug. And you're a hobbit. And I want a fucking dark. But milk chocolate. That's your drink. And you're telling me. You're basically selling me to me as a drink that you have to fight through the sour. Don't confuse sour with bitter. Like, that's me telling someone how to do cold plunge. It's like, don't think of it as cold. Think of it as the opposite of death, which I am insufferable. That's what I just realized.

[Valerie Tosi]

No, you're not in this moment. And you know, you are. You are right. You are right. I have no argument. Except for that in summer, like, a lemonade doesn't sound good to me right now. But in summer, it's a perfect drink. Because you know why? It's comforting me from being hot and.

[Pete Holmes]

Thirsty, which I believe is how it was. It was designed for, like, at the end of a marathon.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah. I really associate it with, like. I still have a memory of being in, like. I must have been. I think I was eight years old.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie Tosi]

Coming home from church. And I had. I used to have to wear those white. You probably. I don't know if you know about stockings, but I had to wear, like, the white nylon stockings. So that's the one that's like. You pull up all the way to your waist and they're thick and white. And I had to, like, wear uncomfortable shoes and dresses. And it was like a hundred degrees outside, and I was so hot on the drive home. And I remembered that my mom had made Country Time lemonade.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie Tosi]

And that's like, maybe the only memory I have from that entire year of my life.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm freaking out.

[Valerie Tosi]

Is realizing, like, when I get home, I'm gonna have cold lemonade. I've never wanted anything more in my life.

[Pete Holmes]

Lemonade in antiquity was like an iv.

[Valerie Tosi]

It was so much sugar because we weren't drinking water. So that was our water.

[Pete Holmes]

I think so. But also just like, you just need calories. You need to replenish your glucose and all this stu. But it's funny that we all just like. It's also just good with a burger and it's like, we used to give that to people who ran a marathon and were about to die.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you're just sitting in a recliner, sipping one is very funny. I'm going to join you on the par in the parlor. First of all, tights should be called underpants.

[Valerie Tosi]

Oh, my God. 100%.

[Pete Holmes]

They're underpants.

[Valerie Tosi]

They are underpants.

[Pete Holmes]

They're underpants.

[Valerie Tosi]

They are under.

[Pete Holmes]

When you were talking about tights, I was like, yeah, yeah, like the underpants.

[Valerie Tosi]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

I was like, underpants.

[Valerie Tosi]

Is that because they used to, like, bloomers? Like, they used to wear.

[Pete Holmes]

I think underwear used to be tights.

[Valerie Tosi]

I think it used to. Well, I think it used to be actual, like, cotton pants with, like, ruffles. At least for the ladies. And let's face it, probably for the men.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Men were very jealous back then. Any if women wore, like, a giant doily that made it look like their head was on a plate.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Men were like, I get that, too. Right?

[Valerie Tosi]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Because, look, we're all going to be dead of syphilis in, like, 20 minutes. So I want my head on a plate, a paper plate, and give me those underpants that frill out. And then it's like someone invented briefs or panties. I know people don't like the word panties.

[Valerie Tosi]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

And then someone tried them on and was like, wow, like, underpants. And he's like, well, no, but. Okay, yeah.

[Valerie Tosi]

Are briefs called briefs? Because it's like they're pants that go on briefly. Like, they're. Look, they go. They are.

[Pete Holmes]

You're all I want in a person. You're all I've ever wanted.

[Valerie Tosi]

That's insane. That's an insane reaction to this idea.

[Pete Holmes]

You're all I've ever wanted.

[Valerie Tosi]

This idea is like wet toilet paper.

[Pete Holmes]

No. No, it's not. If you're running your finger. You put your finger on my forehead and all I'm wearing is briefs, and you run it down my nose. Don't get too erotic here. But you pass my lips, pass my chest, and then you're touching my brief, my underpants, and then you're on my legs. You're only on it briefly.

[Valerie Tosi]

Thank you. That's what I meant.

[Pete Holmes]

Are you reading me like Braille?

[Valerie Tosi]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, then these are going to be brief.

[Valerie Tosi]

These. These underpants are going to be brief.

[Pete Holmes]

Let. Let me be brief. Let me be brief.

[Valerie Tosi]

I love that you knew exactly what I meant. Especially because I said they're only. They only go on briefly. Sounds like they're only on for A short period of time.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, I knew what you meant. Duration. In touch. I meant touch duration.

[Valerie Tosi]

So much more ridiculous.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm gonna say, look, I'm feeling. I'm Beyonce today. I'm feeling myself and I'm loving us. I'm saying this is what a good, loving, rapport relationship sounds like. We said that people who are in love and are good together should edit a movie the same way. But I also think when you say briefly, that I should know what you mean.

[Valerie Tosi]

I know that you dropped your ring.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's so annoying to me. It's like when someone drops it phone on an airplane.

[Valerie Tosi]

I know. And I knew it was annoying to you. I, like, looked up, like, eat.

[Pete Holmes]

It's just. It's just drama.

[Valerie Tosi]

Well, it wasn't my wedding ring. It was just one of my garbage. It turns my ring, my finger, green.

[Pete Holmes]

So I have a couple things for you. Oh. But I lost one of them. But it doesn't matter. The thing that I really wanted to say. That I love talking to you. That. That was clear. Two Tetley iced tea.

[Valerie Tosi]

Tetley.

[Pete Holmes]

Tetley was a powdered. Yeah, Tetley. So in my house growing up, there was this lazy Susan, and we were like, get out of here, Susan.

[Valerie Tosi]

She never paid rent.

[Pete Holmes]

A lazy Susan for people who didn't.

[Valerie Tosi]

Grow up in the 80s and 90s.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. It's like just a little shelf that rotates all the way around. It's hard to explain. It looks like a Pac man from above and it rotates.

[Valerie Tosi]

I think people know a lazy Susans are.

[Pete Holmes]

I like that. I thought of. It looks like a Pac man or a pizza with one slice missing, which is what Pac man was doing.

[Valerie Tosi]

There's also lazy Susans that are like. What we have on our. Our counter is a lazy Susan.

[Pete Holmes]

What?

[Valerie Tosi]

It's a. The full disc where we put our hot sauces and our salts.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, really?

[Valerie Tosi]

Yep. And it spins.

[Pete Holmes]

That should be like a lazy Susan that, like, if it's like, just on your counter.

[Valerie Tosi]

Lazy Sue.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God. So there was Tetley iced tea, and it's a powdered iced tea. And so it just looks like brown powder, but there's, like, crystals of sugar in it. Like, you can see the sugar. And I made myself essentially what was like a short. Like, you should make a big, tall glass of it. But I put a whole scoop in, like, a small glass. Oh, I know my food dick.

[Valerie Tosi]

You know, I'm. I am getting the.

[Pete Holmes]

Me too.

[Valerie Tosi]

The. The pools on either side of the tongue I'm pooling.

[Pete Holmes]

So when you Said your mom was making you country time. Like, let us pray. And she's heavy on the powder hand. She's mounding it. She's not leveling it. She's not leveling that scoop way. It's a little mountain.

[Valerie Tosi]

This is a woman who regularly. For the side. Like, one of the sides of every meal was baked beans that are already incredibly sugary, that she added sweet barbecue sauce and a, like, teaspoon of brown sugar.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, your mom is. That is your mom.

[Valerie Tosi]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

So I made myself this Tetley tea, and it was one of the best beverage experiences of my life because it's also jacked with caffeine. So I'm, like, fucking ripped on caffeine and sugar. And it was like just a very dense iced tea. But, like a sweet tea. Yeah, it's sweet tea, essentially. Like, I.

[Valerie Tosi]

Tea is.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it's no joke.

[Valerie Tosi]

No joke.

[Pete Holmes]

It's fucking.

[Valerie Tosi]

It's sweeter than anything you've ever had.

[Pete Holmes]

And then the. Absolutely. The other memory I have is after Little League, I got in the car and my mom. It wasn't my mom. It must have been a friend. I must been getting a ride home, and they gave us Kool Aid juice boxes. Cause no one knew what the fuck we were doing.

[Valerie Tosi]

No anything.

[Pete Holmes]

My mom is a snob. And she got us shark bites.

[Valerie Tosi]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Cause no one knew. Every morning I make Leela's breakfast, and there's, like, a medley. That's the only word for it.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

A medley of fresh berries.

[Valerie Tosi]

Oh, berries. And cucumbers and tofu.

[Pete Holmes]

And, like, it's insane. Insane. I'm, like, garnishing it. And there's pristine. There's olive oil.

[Valerie Tosi]

Olive oil. And fresh Himalayan sauce.

[Pete Holmes]

There's freshly cracked sauce.

[Valerie Tosi]

I ate lunchable pizzas.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. And what I'm saying is, even though we were snobs and we're better than people, of course I'm joking, but that's kind of like how we felt.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm still opening a shark tank. Shark. Shark bites. And getting that great white. What that tastes like. We didn't know. It was a mystery. It's like pineapple.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah, pineapple. Pineapple.

[Pete Holmes]

So what am I. Oh. So I get in the backseat. Vivid, vivid memory. One of the best food experiences. What? It's really a drug experience. That Tetley story is a drug story.

[Valerie Tosi]

Oh, 100%.

[Pete Holmes]

And this is a drug story, too. It was frozen. Oh, Jesus Christ. And what had happened? No, no.

[Valerie Tosi]

I'm just like, wait, no, the shark bites were frozen.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, no. The juice Box of cooling. Oh. Had been frozen.

[Valerie Tosi]

Oh, no.

[Pete Holmes]

And here's what happened. Valerie. I know you know. I know you know. I do.

[Valerie Tosi]

And I'll tell you.

[Pete Holmes]

It was like Neapolitan ice cream, meaning all the water was at the top and had become, like, white and flavorless, but at the bottom was 100% Kool Aid. Kool Aid brand lemonade. Like Kool Aid, the company that animated the Godzilla monster by accident. Like just the most wayward company.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yep.

[Pete Holmes]

Making the densest little golden brick. And I put that straw through that foil.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

This is like erotica for people like us. And I went all the way to the bottom, which is where all the concentrate was. And I. And my brain lit up like fucking 4th of July.

[Valerie Tosi]

Was it slushy?

[Pete Holmes]

It was slushy.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah. Okay. You just reminded me.

[Pete Holmes]

I chased that for. I'm still looking.

[Valerie Tosi]

I can tell you.

[Pete Holmes]

Still looking.

[Valerie Tosi]

I can tell you how to find it. And I literally forgot about this for decades until just this moment. But I used to freeze Capri Suns, and then I would thaw them for an hour while I watched my shows. And then I would cut it open and I would, like, crunch it up with a spoon and eat a very light pink. So. And I used to love the fact I remember even saying this as a kid. I love that because it's almost clear you think there's not going to be that much flavor, but there is. And then it's just the most flavor you can handle, brother.

[Pete Holmes]

There is.

[Valerie Tosi]

Oh. And I still. I remember exactly what it tasted like.

[Pete Holmes]

This is. This is how we know we're food addicts. But the other thing that I love as a food addict is if you're eating a flavored pistachio, like a smoky.

[Valerie Tosi]

We love the hickory smoke.

[Pete Holmes]

Smoke. Okay. Pistachio is for food addicts. There's efforting, so it slows you down. You have to earn each bite.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And when there's a powdered that or something. I don't know how they flavor these things. I'm guessing it's a powder of some sort.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know. It might be smoke. I don't know.

[Valerie Tosi]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

But there are. I talked to your brother about this. There are certain ones. One out of 15 will be a double dusting.

[Valerie Tosi]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you eat it. And then. This is my gambling.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I mean?

[Valerie Tosi]

That's the one you're chasing now.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm looking for the double dust.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Same with a Dorito. You get a Dorito. That's Double dust. You get a Dorito. That's double dust.

[Valerie Tosi]

Double dustrito, double destrito. Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

I loved it and I needed it. Okay, so we're gonna go to the mids. Oh, what do you got?

[Valerie Tosi]

I was gonna say let's go to the mids because I need to pee. And then maybe we should. I don't know if any of our hardest laughs that we had in the car on the way to Largo.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, I'd love to try, but sure.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

We'll be right back. Thank you. Go ahead, Val. I'll bill burr this part. This will be the Monday morning podcast. I. Yeah. You guys know what I'm gonna say. This show is supported by you guys maybe trying these ads. So they're not just ads. They're. They're ways to support if you like these things. We like these things. Buy one, buy one for a friend. Use the promo code. Let keeps the lights on here. Pays, pays, Katie pays, Joe, everything like that. So please give them a try. Katie, roll that beautiful bean footage. This episode is brought to us by our friends at Roosevelt's. That's rsvlts, the makers of the best, most fun, best feeling, best fitting, best looking shirts and clothes that I have ever owned. And I'm not just saying that. I resist wearing a nice dressy or, you know, just a collared button shirt. That's what I consider dressy. But Roosevelt's not only makes it fun with patterns from things like Star Wars, Disney, Nickelodeon, the Office, Jurassic park, and just some classic fun patterns which I really enjoy, but they also make it feel amazing. I'm talking light, soft, stretchy, and it fits so damn nice. They are moisture wicking, they are breathable. Perfect. Now it's still pretty warm. I know it's the fall, but it's still pretty warm here in California. So I love a breathable shirt. They have stuff for everyone. We're talking toddler youth, men, women, and they use Kunaflex, which is a four way stretch material. But like I'm saying, this is a great gift for people, you know, that might love the office, might love Star wars, might love all those different things. Get that wallflower thing out of your system. Wear something fun out, get people chatting, get people knowing what you're into before you've even said a word. It won't shrink, it won't wrinkle after washing. They look fantastic. I wear it on late night shows. I wear it on red carpets. And I also just wear it out on a date with Val when I want to look good, but also feel fantastic. They are best based, excuse me, out of Hoboken, New Jersey. Hoboken. Hoboken, New Jersey. They have clothing for the bold and the fun and for those who dare mighty things, just like their namesake Teddy Roosevelt once said. So if you want to get your hands on some of these amazing, amazing items, visit roosevelts.com that's RSVLTS. Who has time for vowels? RSVLTS.com or check them out on Instagram @rsvlts incredible, lovely stuff. Not just saying that, not just reading copyright. I love these guys. And if you're looking for some new clothes, give them a try. The show is sponsored by Better help. This month is all about gratitude. And it should come as no surprise that one of the people I am most grateful to is Dr. Gary Penn, whose book is available now. That's the joke we always make. Dr. Gary Penn was my therapist. He's still my friend. He changed my life. Talk therapy changed my life. And this month is all about gratitude. And along with that person, Dr. Gary Penn, there's another person we don't get to thank enough, and that's ourselves. It's sometimes hard to remind, to remember, to remind ourselves. You could just say remember or remind ourselves that we are trying our best to make the sense of everything. To make sense. It's tricky out there. It's confusing. It's weird. We all woke up in a conundrum that none of us asked for. And in this crazy world that isn't easy to remember ourselves. But here's that reminder. Send some love to the people in your life, including yourself. I have benefited so much from talk therapy. It has been a game changer. And BetterHelp makes it so, so, so easy. You got to get into it. You got to give it a try. It couldn't be more simple. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Let the gratitude flow with better help. Visit betterhelp.com weirdo today for 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L p.com weirdo all right, everybody, back to the show. And we're back.

[Valerie Tosi]

And we're back.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. When we drove to Largo, we had such good laughs.

[Valerie Tosi]

It was such an unexpected thing, too, because you were tense. You were tense. You were in a mood.

[Pete Holmes]

I was in a mood.

[Valerie Tosi]

And I. Oh, can I say my thing? Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So Tatiana, my friend Tatiana, who is on the path of the non dual understanding. What?

[Valerie Tosi]

This flew off and just hit me in the throat.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God.

[Valerie Tosi]

I'm sorry.

[Pete Holmes]

You girls with your water bottles, they're dangerous. I've always said this. Jk. So Tatiana, we love Rupert. She sent me a clip and it was about feelings. And when I was having my mood, which was exacerbated by the fact that I had a show, I was like, man, I've been doing standup for over 20 years and still it's there. Like there's a tension. My joke about it that night was like, what do boxers deal with if you know that night someone's going to be punching you in the face?

[Valerie Tosi]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

What's your lunch like?

[Valerie Tosi]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

What's your sleep like? Like, is Logan Paul or whichever one of the Paul's is doing that with Mike Tyson.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Are they gonna sleep the night before the fight?

[Valerie Tosi]

I know you got. What do they do?

[Pete Holmes]

And even if you're not being punched, you're still like, I'm punching someone tonight at 8. That's such a weird thing to have on the calendar. Get punched and punch.

[Valerie Tosi]

I wonder if they only feel right when they are doing that.

[Pete Holmes]

I think when they're in the. In the ring. Yeah, they're loving it. They're present. The fear, all of it.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm sure there's times when you're not loving it, but I. I don't think that's the problem. The problem is, and I've never heard anyone. I've seen every boxing movie. I've never seen one scene where Creed is a little on edge when his musician girlfriend keeps going like, do you want melon or no melon? He's like, will you just shut the fuck up? I'm gonna get punched tonight. I would love that scene. It's all jump rope and ice baths.

[Valerie Tosi]

It's gotta be in one of the Rockies.

[Pete Holmes]

The only. The closest I've seen. And you're gonna. I mean, we do it. Withholding from sex is not part of my show routine, but part of my regular. It's just a part of my regular life. I just. I just like to keep you guessing. No, in the first Rocky, he won't have sex with Adrian because he doesn't want. He wants to hold on to his chi, essentially before the fight. So she's trying to seduce him. He's like, Adrian, you know, I can't. You know, I got.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So that I was like, ah, I see. But I've never seen. Not in any of the Creed movies, them addressing the tension and the stress. I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time listening to your story because I'm gonna get punched in the fucking face tonight. Win, lose or draw, I'm getting a few to the face. There's no situation where I don't get a few to the face tonight.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So you're not holding my attention. I would love that.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So Tatiana, on the day, one of the burdens of kind of feeling like, I need to be a golden boy and always be happy, always be sweet, always be kind. I don't mind that. That's a nice goal to have, especially as a father and a husband. I like that. But then there are times when I'm just feeling stressed. It's in my body.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I notice that I'm a little short, and I'm just a little distracted, and that can be really hard. She sent. So Tatiana sent me this clip where they were like, those feelings. I forget who the teacher was, but those feelings. We've talked about this before. Are like visitors, but specifically, they're like your children. They're like your kids, and they're coming in the room. And the attitude of, what are you still doing here? Is, like, the opposite of the correct attitude. Like, oh, absolutely. Tension. I've been doing comedy for 20 years. Why is tension still here?

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then I get disappointed. Why is disappointment still here? Shouldn't I be over this? All I seem to do is mostly, like, a lot of spiritual work, a lot of psychological work. What are you still doing here? And the teacher, which I really appreciate, goes, these feelings don't want to be healed. They want to be held.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And I needed that sort of turn a phrase. So in real time, when I was having it go like, no, come on in. Yeah, come on in. It's okay. I'm not trying to get rid of you.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I know we talk about that a lot, but I was like, I'm gonna hold you.

[Valerie Tosi]

The other one is to tend and befriend the feeling.

[Pete Holmes]

Tend and befriend.

[Valerie Tosi]

And, like, when I really specifically like the word tend, like, and I always. I never can do it right away.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie Tosi]

But if I get, you know, if I'm in a season of despair or going through something, the first initial feeling is usually for me, it's like, I don't want to feel this way, you know, which is my version of like, you're. You're here again, you know? But If I think of tending to it where, like, oh, I just need a little extra love. Like, I need a little extra care. And this part of me needs an extra care.

[Pete Holmes]

And it is a little extra care. In my internal family systems therapy this week. Shocked. We've discovered this character we call the man in the bar. And he's drinking from this dirty glass. He's emaciated. So many of my inner characters are just starving to death and they're in dark places. And he's drinking from this dirty glass in a bar. And he doesn't seem happy about it. It's just all he knows. And the glass is achievement and validation from specifically my father, like, getting that. And he's. And it's just that it's this addiction. So easy when you step away to go, like, yeah, it's just like training a dog. It's like you reward one thing, you punish. You know, you don't reward or punish another thing. A groove is made. And I have this groove that I'm like, this is it. This is it. I gotta do this. And every once in a while, the sky grows. Glows red and there's like an alarm that goes off. The easiest example of this is if my father texts me. I feel an intense urgency that I have to reply to him. It's not chill at all. And it takes a lot of effort. It's not very natural. It's not very. It's not easy. There's no flow to it. It's really like, very fawny and calculated and a lot of tension. So this is. Poor guy drinking this. This booze, but he doesn't know what else to do. It's his. It's the only strategy that when we were kids, made sense was Fawn. We saw my. My family as like. Everybody was very isolated. It was like three ball. Like metal balls, almost like UFOs. Like. And there's no merging, right? There's no connecting. They're just in the same space. But. And the way that little Pete learned to literally puncture them so there's a little violence almost to it, or aggression, like puncturing. To get light to shine out from them was to achieve. So the first thing. And I'll just share this sort of stuff as often as I can because I find it so helpful. The first thing is acknowledging to the man at the bar what a brilliant strategy. That was like, holy shit, you needed light. You needed some light on you. And you found a way to stop these orbs and demand what you need by achieving being special, being Shiny, whatever it is. And then that led to sort of like a doting and a beholding and a little bit of a codependence and all this sort of stuff. And that's the alcohol. So it got toxic. It stopped working. Just like alcohol addiction. It was working and then it stopped working. But then it's kind of all, you know. And when I tell you I had two sessions where we talked to the man at the bar, and I sit next to him and it always goes like this. You say, by the way, if anyone's really confused, you just go into your mind and let your unconscious, your subconscious communicate to you the way it does, which is with symbols. So it will. I never go like, all right, let's make something up. I just go like, who's protecting me? It's that guy. Yeah, he shows up. It's never fake, it's never false, it's never effortful. And you just sit with him. You tell him how brilliant he was. I always cry. I'm just crying. And I go, I'm so proud of you. I understand, and I really do. Like, I'm not just saying it. I'm like, I really understand and appreciate that strategy. And you're brilliant and you're brave and you're strong. And then you're just like, would you like some help? And then it's beautiful. All we do is invite them into my life. Would you like to see? Like, there's other stuff to drink. Let me get you a big meal. That's. That's what. I invited him into our house here. And we have chickens, and I got him eggs, and I made them a big omelet. The same omelette I make Leela. Just eating it. And it was so. The effort was minimal. That's what that. That's what brought on this huge monologue. Forgive me, but it didn't take a lot of.

[Valerie Tosi]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Hey, do you trust me? Can we talk? As soon as I was like, would you like to get out of this bar and stop answering the blinking red sky? Would you like to. Would you like to eat the meal of your daughter's love and your wife's love and your own love and your own self sufficiency and your own autonomy and your own sovereignty? And it's not because I have a special. I do have a special, beautiful, abundant life, but it's just basic reality. Yes, it's just basic reality. You're not a child anymore. That. That applies to anyone who's not a child anymore. You can claim that and go like, that's not happening more. You don't need to get light from an orb. Yes, you don't need to get light from an orb.

[Valerie Tosi]

That's right. And that's, that's where I can hear my therapist voice go. And that's freedom. It's, We've, we talked about that this week too, my therapist and I, that like autonomy, like realizing, like realizing. We were talking about it in terms of realizing that you don't need anything from your parents. But it's also part by part being like, what does this part think it needs to survive?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie Tosi]

And then very gently loving it and providing it with like good nourishment until it really sees that it doesn't need any. Like it. Everything that it could need is provided within your system.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie Tosi]

That's freedom. And we were talking about it as in terms of justice too. So there are things, we all have things that were unjust, you know, that we went through in our past.

[Pete Holmes]

He wants that honored. That's huge. Yeah.

[Valerie Tosi]

There's a part, your part, multiple parts probably, but there's always going to be a part heart that wants justice above everything. And so I was sort of talking to that part of me and, and my therapist helped guide me into seeing that my autonomy, not needing anything, being able to provide everything I need myself is justice.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie Tosi]

It's sort of the only, it's sort of the only justice because anything else I'm putting in someone else's hands and that's just, even just doing that isn't fair to myself.

[Pete Holmes]

I was just watching the Anna Nicole Smith documentary on Netflix and there's a part where she reconnects with her birth father. And no spoilers here, but it's a nightmare. And what's brutal and darling about it is you're like, there she is. She pulled herself to where she wanted to be and then she, at that peak moment, she's like playmate of the year and she's in a movie. So she gets her dad to visit and she picks him up in the airport in a limo with like, I'm not trying to be funny or disrespectful, but like with very infantile pigtails. Like, like little girl pigtails.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And out comes Anna Nicole Smith. Like a very grown up and big. I'm not physically, but like that's like a star. Like, comes out this giant presence. Yeah. Like being like a little kid instantly hugging her brother, long lost brother and her father. And like it was one of the most strange things I've ever seen. There's a crew there filming it. And I'm like, both of these men know who this person is. How fucking weird.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's dark, but I'm like, you just found out your long lost daughter is the, like, the biggest sex symbol in the world. And you're watching these two men being like, oh, whoops, a doodle maybe. And then like, that's a. That's a gross. A grotesque joke or observation, but that is how it feels. But then you're watching it, and I'm getting so incited. I was like, don't reach out.

[Valerie Tosi]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't fold it. Don't try. And of course it doesn't work. It goes horribly. And she's literally going, there's my daddy. There's my daddy. And I'm like. But then I realized that it's not my repulsion is how familiar that is.

[Valerie Tosi]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

That's me.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Remember when my parents visited us out here and I sent a car service? Oh, my God. I just broke my own heart.

[Valerie Tosi]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

This. This is like I was now years old when I realized that scene was difficult for me because when my parents came, I sent them a car service.

[Valerie Tosi]

Absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

And I had pigtails.

[Valerie Tosi]

I know you. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm just kidding.

[Valerie Tosi]

Well, no, that's why it's so inciting, is that our child selves will always want to do that. And if we let them run the show, they will do it. And here's the darling thing about children and why they need to be protected. And also why we as adults need to protect our child self is that when it comes to parents, children will just make that mistake again and again and again and again. That's why codependency is such a common reaction to childhood wounds. Because the codependent creed is like, this time it's different. If you're living with an addict, it's like, well, this time they'll get sober. Okay, they did fall off the wagon. But this is why that's different. And there will always be a new story of why it's different this time. Even, like, you know people who get abused.

[Pete Holmes]

For both me and Anna Nicole, it's like, we're both so shiny. Look.

[Valerie Tosi]

This must be different.

[Pete Holmes]

Playmate of the year.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you're going to come. And she's like, you're going to come to the Playboy Mansion. You're going to meet Hugh Hefner.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Intercut that with me being like, we're going to go to a party. Judd Apatow is going to be there.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it didn't. It doesn't work. It really didn't work with Anna Nicole. But it's in our case. People that listen to the show know my parents couldn't find the car service. The airport in Santa Barbara is the size of a postage stamp. Somehow they couldn't find a person with a sign that said homes. And they called a cab. So, like, talk about going to the hardware store for milk. I was trying because I couldn't be there to pick them up myself, but I was trying. Like, I wanted that guy in the black suit to, like, show them a nice ride, and they couldn't find it.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

This is the pain of family.

[Valerie Tosi]

Literal.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the giant chopsticks, and we're starving. We're trying to get it to our mouths, and we're also trying to feed others, and they're not looking.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah. 100. And what is so, you know, vulnerable about that Anna Nicole scene is that puts. I didn't see it, but you explained it to me. It puts everything in context. You. That's probably the truest moment you see, see, of her whole life. Where you go, that is what this is all about, is getting your dad's approval and.

[Pete Holmes]

And letting you need that figure and you want to be a child.

[Valerie Tosi]

Exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

Michael Jackson stuff, too.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then the 90s and the 2000s were just so obvious. It's drugs, it's alcohol, and it's like these undiagnosed issues. We just didn't even know what they were yet. They weren't cliche yet, and now they're cliche. Who knows what cliches we're reenacting now? But my. So we talked about my bear. So the protector that comes up when I'm watching Anna Nicole pick up her father at the airport is my bear. He's like, no, devour them. Kill them.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't mean that literally. I mean, like, get them away. There's only pain there. And what I'm trying. And believe it or not, this actually applies to how I approach standup. Anybody that was at the Largo show this month. It was such a magical, special show. And it's because when we were driving down. We're back to our topic. I was in a mood, and we laughed and I softened, and then I remembered. And I had talked about this in therapy. Like, I want to engage my life with openness and curiosity and generosity and playfulness and creativity. Like, that's really what a good set for me is. It's not really even the bits working or not working. It's. Can I stay in a mode of playful connection and generosity and creativity? And the problem is that you get so tight, you. You reenact an old pattern. I'm going to puncture this orb for light. I'm going to puncture this audience for approval. It's like a. Yeah, but there's a better way to do it. And the show this month was so good because I did go out going, like I said it backstage. I go, this is my life. I don't want to be worried about the show. Yeah, I'm going to wake up. That'll be my whole life was worrying about shows. Done this hundreds of times. Do it a hundred times more.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Can I just dance with this? And in a perfect world, I'd be able to, like, dance and flow with my parents. But sometimes you just go and, well, have a different strategy.

[Valerie Tosi]

That's right. And. And of course, you. Even as you were saying that, I went on my own journey of wishing that for myself, too. And really. Yeah, and really, the. The mood is, you know, it's just the most original entanglements. So it's. It's okay that that might not be possible and you find other answers. But the key really is to protect your child. Self. Well, that's why be the adult that.

[Pete Holmes]

Is protecting at Largo. That's a safe place to drop my guard and flow and be porous and to dance and to play and be generous and creative. And it just is what it is. There's a lot of places where you go and it's like, no, you can't really be that naked. Yeah, it's just a cold climate. Put on a jacket.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah, that's right.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not a mean jacket. Yeah, just put on a jacket.

[Valerie Tosi]

That's okay. Well, that's the thing. I mean, that's what we will see. We're starting to enter the next plane of development with Leela. So she's, you know, it's this sort of idea that you're in the garden for the first seven years of your life. You're in this. It's such a precious time. And, you know, it's so unfortunate that people don't get those precious years protected. But it's like, as parents, we really want to protect this very pure, innocent time. And she is, you know, wanting to be naked everywhere. She's boundaryless. Her. Her friend was eating, and she just picked him up and pulled him out and said, chase me. And then, like, they're wrestling. She's so primal. She's so Present. She just. She, you know, is like, elated when she gets what she wants, and she is throwing a total fit when she gets. When she doesn't get what she wants. Like, she is living on the surface in this very, very true and pure way. And if she's doing that when she's 25, we have a problem.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie Tosi]

You know, it's just. It can't be. It can't. It's not sustainable. We want to keep that part of ourselves. We want to make what she has right now. Eventually, if it. If it happens appropriately, I think that becomes a part. And then we get all these other parts. These parts that learn how to be in this circumstance and then learn how to be in this circumstance, you know, so if we're always. It's just impossible to expect that we will always be free and clear and flowing and pure creativity and pure presence. And, like, we. We develop these protectors that really let us know if this is a safe environment to do that. Right or not.

[Pete Holmes]

No. I love my bear so much, and I have a trip to Boston coming up, and I'm gonna welcome all of them to be appropriate. And it's not. It's not the time to just be like, what. What's this?

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah, what's this? I. I used to.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, hey.

[Valerie Tosi]

I actually, my therapist used to help me think of a place to send my child self.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what we do every time when.

[Valerie Tosi]

But, like, when I would go visit. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, I like that.

[Valerie Tosi]

And it was boogie boarding with my brother on the beach, and I. It helped me to be in, like, a hard moment of a visit and be like, thank God little Valerie's just boogie boarding on a beach right now.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, mine's fun spot. Look, on the arcade.

[Valerie Tosi]

Cute. Of course, I love it.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, this might be a little weird, but when you're talking about, like, so Anna Nicole did kind of have a very unfortunate upbringing.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then, you know, then as an adult, kind of like Michael Jackson, too, it's like, well, now I'm going to be a kid. So she was a little infantilized with her, her dad and also with Hugh Hefner. There's always that, like, daddy kind of thing going on. And you tell me if this is too weird, but even the nakedness. Nakedness seems so grown up. Like, obviously it's for arousal, but there is also something that's like, look, I'm finally getting to be free and just kind of walking around nude.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yes, absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

I think that, like, that wasn't my life. And now it is. Look, I'm in a room full of people and I'm naked. That must be reparenting in some way.

[Valerie Tosi]

I think there is. I think there is a connection to that. Like it. Because it is. You know, these are the people who's. Who didn't get protected in those tender first seven years, probably. And think of Leela now, like a part of her being in this pure innocent state is that she wants to be naked all the time.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie Tosi]

And they like didn't get that. And I actually getting it now.

[Pete Holmes]

I actually thought that this morning. I was like. Cuz she went in the hot tub this morning naked. And. And I was like, we're going like, you know how Europe is for alcohol. We're doing that for nudity.

[Valerie Tosi]

Oh, for sure.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, she's going to be like, there was always a bottle of wine.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

On the table.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah. But she'll just.

[Pete Holmes]

My butt.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah, she's like, we were just always showing each other our butts and there's.

[Pete Holmes]

A lot of mooning in our house.

[Valerie Tosi]

I really hope, I hope that's right.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Valerie Tosi]

I mean, that's gonna be the one. One of them. If like we. If she's like, that was really up that you guys were like naked in front of me past the age of three.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I know people. There are people that feel that way.

[Valerie Tosi]

We. We would be. I feel like I would instantly be like, I'm so ashamed. Like. Yeah, that's a really embarrassing one. I guess if she's like, you know, you never. You didn't have me drink electrolytes or something and be like, all right, well, we didn't really know. Whatever. But if it's a naked one, you're like, I'm a disgusting pervert.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, no, it's. It's easy to. That's an easy one to find. Shame.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah. But I don't know, it just seems like. Yeah, it. It seems like the people. What, what we are coming. The place that we're coming from is the perversions and the issues that come from repression.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. So body shame. Well, again, it's a wave. It's a wave. Yeah, it is. It's in the middle. Yeah, it's in the middle. I'm sure I'm more careful certainly than you are.

[Valerie Tosi]

Right. Which I think is rightfully. I would be if she. Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

My mom. I used to be like, yeah. Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Valerie Tosi]

But also, I think we should follow the kids lead and like the second that she's like, I don't. I don't know about that.

[Pete Holmes]

Of course. I went into this with my eyes open. Based on our friends who have kids that are older and how they approached it. And I really do think the closest comparison is alcohol and Europe.

[Valerie Tosi]

Yeah, it's like.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not all the. It's not everywhere, but sometimes you see a little pinot noir.

[Valerie Tosi]

It's more of a sauvignon blanc. I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

My ding dong is a blend. It's a cab franc. Cab franc is the dick name.

[Valerie Tosi]

Cab Franck.

[Pete Holmes]

You want to see my cab franc?

[Valerie Tosi]

Ew, Frank.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, we didn't remember what we laughed at, but.

[Valerie Tosi]

No, it's all right.

[Pete Holmes]

I couldn't. I. I'm not up to the task. I don't remember it, but it was.

[Valerie Tosi]

Just a really good 2. 2 hours and 15 minutes.

[Pete Holmes]

I remember one of them.

[Valerie Tosi]

I remember one of them, too, but I, I. That's what I was thinking in the bathroom. I was like, no, I don't think any of them are probably very shareable.

[Pete Holmes]

Waukeno, I think, is. I think it's okay, but just to. I don't want you to be like, was that okay? So we won't. It's not worth it. We won't. We won't talk about it. But there was one laugh about a restaurant called Wakano. Yeah, like a walk. That's a volcano. Okay, that's it. All right, everybody. Thank you for being here. We missed you these past couple of weeks. I loved doing this.

[Valerie Tosi]

Thanks for chatting with me too. Thanks for chatting with me and thank you all for listening. And just go ahead and keep it crispy.