You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Episode: We Made It Weird #204

Date: January 24, 2025
Hosts: Pete Holmes & Valerie (Val)

Episode Overview

In this classic "catch up" bonus episode, Pete and Val return to the original format of the We Made It Weird Friday editions: sharing what they’ve been reading, watching, and loving. They dive into obsessions with the shows Bad Sisters and Valley Heat, revisit their fascination with Bob Dylan (prompted by recent documentaries and films), discuss authenticity and mystique in art and relationships, and take a vulnerable look at personal growth, therapy, and the power of genuine love and friendship. As always, their signature blend of silly riffing and soulful introspection leads to a funny, heartwarming, and resonant conversation.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why We Listen to Podcasts & The Art of Riffing

• Pete and Val riff on why people choose to listen to “You Made It Weird”—for laughs, bits, the familiar tone, and the unpredictability of the conversation.
  • Pete: “What are you looking for? You're looking for bits. You're looking for laughs.” [07:20]
  • Playful banter about old technology, Bob Dylan as a prophet, and hypothetical scenarios (e.g. a 1940s dad worried about "devil's riffs").
• Valerie articulates a frequent nightmare scenario inspired by shows like Bad Sisters: “I somehow accidentally murder somebody, and then... it's not the murdering. It's that I have to pay attention to the details.” [10:40]
• Extended riffing about Bob Dylan lyrics and cultural language drift, mixing comedy with nostalgia for a different era of music and communal values.

2. Recent Obsessions: Valley Heat, Bad Sisters, & Bob Dylan

Valley Heat

• Both Pete and Val are deeply into Valley Heat, an indie comedy podcast.
  • Pete: “Valley Heat...it's the greatest thing I've ever heard. I'm recommending it to everybody. It's a complete silly podcast. There's no learning or hugging. As the Seinfeld rule goes. But I'm listening to it, and I'm obsessed.” [13:06]
  • They dissect why Valley Heat is brilliant—low-key, earnest, and unpredictable; it doesn't feel like someone "doing a bit."
  • The show’s comedic pacing inspires them; Val notes it’s funny even when you’re not laughing in the moment: “You don't want to miss anything by laughing.” [18:02]
  • Pete plans to have creator Christian Duguay (“Doug Duguay” in the show) on the podcast.

Bad Sisters

• Bad Sisters is the couple's current TV obsession, which, according to Pete, is so good he “lowers his weapons” and simply enjoys it [16:15].
• They connect the thrill of a tightly executed story with the difficulty of authentically depicting podcasts or improv on scripted shows. They find most representations inauthentic, referencing And Just Like That and other shows.

Bob Dylan

• They shift into a deep exploration of Bob Dylan’s persona, legend, and personal impact after watching recent films and documentaries (No Direction Home, etc.).
  • Valerie: “I think probably It Ain't Me Babe is like most authentic voice song...it's an enneagram 4 for sure. And it's just, it's really attractive.” [29:50]
  • Pete: “I'm so happy...he's worthy of an obsession. ...I was so turned off by how, like, cold and cool he is. So cool he's cold. ...Now I'm like, no, that energy... yeah, it's exactly what we're missing.” [33:35]
• Val shares her story of becoming obsessed with Dylan as a teenager, including her first crush and even a memorable “black and white” dream about Bob Dylan [31:26].
  • Memorable moment: “Like, the night after I watched that, I had my first sex dream about Bob Dylan in black and white.” [31:39]
• Pete ties Dylan’s iconoclastic persona to the need for more mystique and authenticity in modern culture.

3. The Power and Return of Mystique

• The hosts lament the dissolution of mystique in modern entertainment and relationships.
  • Pete compares old showbiz to “the carnival...there's a curtain and they ask for $5 and you go in the curtain and...” [34:32]
  • Valerie: “It is important, but we're the generation...so interested in trying to heal and learn, and so we'll share all of our stuff and we just give it all away right away.” [35:58]
• They assert mystique and artistic backbone (exhibited by Dylan, Matt Johnson, Christian Duguay, etc.) are deeply attractive and inspiring.
• Pete discusses personal and professional parallels—seeking inspiration from such artists for his own work.

4. Authenticity, Attachment, and Relationship Dynamics

• Valerie examines the psychological roots of attraction, referencing Dr. Becky Kennedy’s concept that attraction stems from familiar attachment patterns [52:22].
  • Valerie: “I think there's...a body, like a pure, like, pheromonal, primal one. I think there's, like, a spiritual one. There's, like, probably some, like, past life stuff happening. But I do think that on a psychological level...on a psychological level, that makes sense to me, that that's what attraction is.” [52:47]
• The “moody, broody man” archetype becomes attractive when paired with personal tenderness; Val sees Pete as “that in the safest possible way.” [55:05]
  • “You are the Bob Dylan. Well, that, like, doesn't destroy and break my heart.” [55:52]
• Pete and Val emphasize the importance of being loved precisely for one’s idiosyncrasies:
  • “So much of life is just getting some people around you. That's like the secret, a huge secret to life is you need people around you that go, I like the way you are.” [56:46]

5. Crushes, Inspiration, and Spirituality

• Valerie describes how a crush can make you “the most current version of yourself”—standing taller, making better choices, and “unlocks something in you” [48:15]
  • “It makes you stand up straighter. ...It encourages you to live your best life, to be your most crushable person.” [48:29]
• Pete recognizes that loving and being inspired by others brings out his best self—through friendships, creative work, and beyond.
• They unpack the deeper spiritual meaning behind connection, longing, and love: the "dance we do with the divine" [49:39].

6. Vulnerability, Therapy, and the Importance of Love & Friendship

• Pete shares a recent internal family systems therapy breakthrough about his younger “fundamentalist” self and the search for reassurance in his beliefs.
  • Notable quote: “I wrote this on my mirror. ...‘I'm sure, and when we're not sure, I'm sure we can hold it.’” [61:38]
• They reflect on how acts of love and friendship—like a friend cooking for them—are deeply meaningful and carry a profound, often unacknowledged, emotional weight:
  • “When you talk to your heart, your heart is a puddle and can't even handle it.” [69:03]
  • “As I'm saying this, I'm remembering how important it is to just go around and maybe tell people, ‘I like the way you are.’” [70:42]
• They conclude with the idea that the truest indicator of love—romantic or platonic—is the capacity to see someone anew and to affirm: “I like the way you are.” [71:17]
• Valerie references Marianne Williamson: when you fall in love, you see people more clearly than later, when your history and pain with them clouds vision [72:03].

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On obsession and influence:
  • “Valley Heat...it's the greatest thing I've ever heard. I'm recommending it to everybody. It's a complete silly podcast. There's no learning or hugging.” – Pete [13:06]
• On mystique:
  • “I'm not your man.” – Val, channeling Bob Dylan [29:47]
  • “Mystique is coming back.” – Pete [36:03]
• On authentic relationships:
  • “You are the Bob Dylan. Well, that, like, doesn't destroy and break my heart.” – Val to Pete [55:52]
• On support:
  • “So much of life is just getting some people around you...that go, I like the way you are.” – Pete [56:46]
• On the power of simple love:
  • “When you talk to your heart, your heart is a puddle and can't even handle it.” – Pete [69:03]

Key Timestamps

• 05:47 – On why people choose to listen/podcast riffing style
• 13:05 – Obsession with Valley Heat
• 16:41 – Why Valley Heat is so innovative / Bad Sisters
• 29:46 – Bob Dylan's authenticity and appeal
• 34:41 – The need for mystique in art and culture
• 48:29 – Valerie on how having a crush is a version update for the soul
• 52:22 – Attachment theory and attraction
• 55:05 – Loving “moody, broody men” safely
• 61:28 – Pete shares personal therapy breakthrough
• 69:03 – Small acts of love have immense impact
• 71:17 – “I like the way you are” as the secret of love/friendship
• 72:03 – Quoting Marianne Williamson: On clearly seeing loved ones

Notable Episode Highlights

• Valley Heat and Bad Sisters: The most recommended “joyful” media right now for Pete & Val.
• Bob Dylan: Used as the avatar for living authentically and holding onto artistic mystique.
• Romantic & Friend Love: The idea that loving and being inspired by someone doesn't just improve life, but updates you to a better version of yourself.
• Therapy & Growth: Transparent sharing of career and personal doubts and the process of making peace with one's past selves.
• Love & Connection: Small gestures in friendship and partnership have transformative importance—don’t underestimate simply telling someone, “I like the way you are.”

Summary

This “return to form” episode is a rich blend of silly riffs (classic Pete & Val banter), cultural obsession (Valley Heat and Bob Dylan), and vulnerable self-examination. They touch on heavy themes—authenticity, the need for mystique, the psychological roots of attraction, and the absolute necessity of being valued for who you really are—while keeping things affectionate, grounded, and, above all, funny. This episode pairs spontaneous humor with honest reflection, providing inspiration, laughs, and genuine heart for long-time weirdos and new listeners alike.

Closing Call to Action:
“Watch Bad Sisters, listen to Valley Heat, fall in love with Bob Dylan—or just remember to tell someone, ‘I like the way you are.’”