B (1:13)

It gets small when it's cold.

A (1:15)

The monument.

B (1:16)

Yeah, it was designed.

A (1:17)

Washington Monument.

B (1:18)

The Washington Monument shrinks when it's cold.

A (1:21)

Interesting.

B (1:22)

And the Pentagon is the. And it puckers.

A (1:26)

Okay, okay.

B (1:27)

We're. We're here. We're glad you're here. I'm in Phoenix. If you're listening to this the day it comes out, please come out to Phoenix PeteHomes.com and we have more tour dates on my website. And the show is brought to you by things we actually use and actually love. They're called the Pete's Picks. If you want to support the show, please try one out. Katie, roll that beautiful bean footage. This episode is brought to us by our friends, one of our newest Pete's Picks, which is Mud water. It's February. We're. Which means right around this time, if you're anything like me, maybe some of those New Year's resolutions are starting to slip. Maybe you wanted to grow a mustache or hit the gym more often or stop hitting the snooze button 17 times every morning. Well, here's one you can probably stick with if you're like me. Mud water. 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A (6:11)

Valerie, get into it.

B (6:14)

Welcome to the show. I'm actually feeling pretty chill, so don't worry. It's not going to be. It's not. I'm not going to do what you all think I'm going to do and just freak out. Flip out, flip out. Do you know the ref?

A (6:27)

No.

B (6:28)

Jerry Maguire. I'm not gonna do what you all think I'm gonna do and just flip out. It's a great.

A (6:36)

That's a really good moment.

B (6:39)

Oh, I thought maybe. I thought maybe I accidentally did a great Tom Cruise impression.

A (6:44)

Oh.

B (6:44)

Nope. I knew I didn't.

A (6:45)

No.

B (6:46)

But everyone, like, accidentally sinking a pool ball, and people think every once in a while I'll just mess around and someone's like, that's an incredible Michael B. Jordan. Like, what?

A (6:58)

Don't try to do Michael B. Jordan.

B (7:00)

What? No.

A (7:01)

You know, Jerry McJerry McGuire. I don't know why I said it that way.

B (7:05)

Great move.

A (7:06)

Yeah. I would like to rewatch it because I bet I would like it more now because I think I watched it as a teenager, really hoping it was going to be a little more, you complete me and a little less about football.

B (7:20)

No, that movie is a 70, 30.

A (7:23)

Yeah.

B (7:23)

Guys, girls. In the traditional way. I'm not saying that's how it actually is, but I'm just saying in the. In the breakdown, they were like. It's mostly a. Tom Cruise's trying to, like, keep his business together.

A (7:38)

Yes.

B (7:38)

And his business is being a sports agent.

A (7:41)

Right, Exactly. It's such masculine energy.

B (7:45)

Yes.

A (7:46)

Yeah. But I. But that's what's weird is that the romantic moments are iconic. Like, that's what's iconic about those movies.

B (7:55)

Well, I would say show me the money is. Show me the money is the same value.

A (8:02)

Yeah.

B (8:02)

In the crypto market, as, you complete me.

A (8:05)

Yeah. That's true.

B (8:05)

You complete me. Might even, like. You can't say, you complete me. If you're dating a guy and he proposes and he says, you complete me. It's like, that's done. But I could still say, show me the money.

A (8:18)

Could you? No, you couldn't. No.

B (8:20)

But that's the way that argument would go, so I had to finish it.

A (8:23)

Could you say, you had me at hello? No.

B (8:28)

I remember the VHS moment when I saw you had me at hello? Because you really think maybe she's not going to take him back? And in fact, sorry, we're going to. This is not a Jerry Maguire rewatch podcast. But she shouldn't take him back. Really.

A (8:42)

No.

B (8:42)

That's what makes that movie kind of. I would say, elevates it to an artistic level.

A (8:49)

Right.

B (8:49)

And what makes it resonate is that Jerry Maguire is a terrible partner for this woman.

A (8:54)

Yeah.

B (8:55)

And he did shoplift the pootie. He Fell in love with her kid.

A (8:58)

Right.

B (8:59)

Which is what Koopa Gooding says. He says, a real man wouldn't shoplift the pootie. And he goes, I did not shoplift the pootie.

A (9:09)

Is the pooty. The kid, actually, and this is known.

B (9:14)

Valerie, I'm glad we stepped in this. It was. I thought it was a pile of leaves, but there's dog shit under it.

A (9:20)

There's pooty.

B (9:22)

There's pooty under those leaves. I'm just saying, like, most grown up dog shit steps are because of leaves.

A (9:29)

Yeah.

B (9:29)

So for all the good press.

A (9:31)

90% of the.

B (9:32)

90%. 90% dog shit steps.

A (9:36)

Your statistics.

B (9:36)

This is where you get them.

A (9:37)

Yeah.

B (9:38)

Leela stepped in some ds. Nintendo ds.

A (9:42)

Yeah.

B (9:43)

Yesterday at the park. And you forget what a plague it is. Oh, you smell it? Sorry, two things. One, you smell it everywhere. Two, all dog smells the same. What's going on?

A (9:55)

Well, most dog food is similar.

B (9:57)

Disagree.

A (9:59)

Really?

B (10:00)

Salmon and pee is what?

A (10:01)

No, I know, but. But sometimes we've gotten like the salmon and sweet potato. It's the same.

B (10:07)

Well, that's. I'll give you. Well, that's just the side dish. The entree is the same, but then there's chicken. Some dogs are eating lamb. It still goes through and comes out.

A (10:16)

The way it's processed is so similar. I don't want to talk about this anymore.

B (10:20)

I love.

A (10:20)

I can't have this argument.

B (10:23)

I love your honesty here. So 90%. This is a sweet riff area. Grownups don't step in dog shit unless they're running, which is great.

A (10:34)

Yeah.

B (10:35)

They kind of slip in it when you see like a thin.

A (10:38)

Right.

B (10:38)

Like a thin jogger with the slit up the side on his shorts.

A (10:43)

Right.

B (10:44)

His legs are very thin, very hairy, and he's bearded. And he looks like he wants you to think that he's chill, but you know, he's not.

A (10:52)

Like, well, if he's a runner.

B (10:54)

Exactly. He's definitely not. No one is running.

A (10:57)

No.

B (10:58)

Unless they are ready to kill everybody.

A (11:02)

That's right.

B (11:02)

It's what we call James Taylor face. He looks like he just wants to party in a log cabin with a guitar, but really he wants you to break into his house because he has like some fucking crossbow with night vision goggles. He can't wait to take you down and then write a song about pumpkins. And a three leaf clover can be lucky too and all that bullshit. But he's. He's demon.

A (11:27)

So wait, is James three leaf clover? Because this is like going to James Taylor.

B (11:32)

Yeah, this is James Taylor. I'm just saying that dude skidding on some wet fresh.

A (11:37)

Yeah.

B (11:38)

Like, on the heel, too. And he kind of slides like he's.

A (11:41)

Wearing Heelys love to see it, but.

B (11:42)

It'S like a dog shit Healy. And it wasn't under leaves. That makes it less funny. It has to be. We see it. In fact, the way we shoot it is we. We start on the. The light brown. You know, it was light brown and kind of glistening dog shit. And it fans up, and we see this guy who's ready to fucking snap. But he's trying, right? And then he heely dog shits and slides a good three feet.

A (12:07)

Yeah. What is that guy doing? Is he just running as if it didn't happen? Is the vulnerability too much?

B (12:14)

Oh, does he just keep going? Yes, absolutely.

A (12:17)

He.

B (12:18)

I think he stops and acknowledges it, and he says, God damn it. God damn it is the official, most angry. Yeah, maybe, motherfucker. But I think God damn it is up there.

A (12:28)

I think also God damn it is sort of the. Like the. The fiery. It's fiery exclamation of this type of man I.

B (12:37)

And using it in, like, a sentence, like, you're God damn. Like, yeah, curb your goddamn. Like, that is. That's top tier. It's, like, way worse than fucking motherfucking right. It can only be trumped by cock sucking, which is weird.

A (12:52)

Cocksuck.

B (12:53)

That's like, even he would know he went too far.

A (12:56)

Yeah. Curve.

B (12:57)

Your cock sucking dog is like, no.

A (13:01)

That is too much.

B (13:01)

That's the last thing you learn in duol if you're learning English, is when to say cock sucking. Because it's almost never, and.

A (13:09)

And most native English speakers are still learning that.

B (13:13)

That's right.

A (13:13)

Yeah.

B (13:14)

Yeah. They dabble. They dabble. And it's almost always wrong, which means you see a lot of people in, like, the throes of a deeply intense argument, and there's just a flutter in their eye like, I shouldn't have said cock sucking. It wasn't right.

A (13:26)

I don't think I. I've never said it.

B (13:29)

No, never. Sucker in Boston is.

A (13:34)

Well, that's just because they know about their accent. That makes me think they are aware of their accent.

B (13:40)

I'm gonna say Boston is more aware of their accent than any other place.

A (13:44)

Because, like, my. My Southern aunt. My Aunt Anna, famously, in our family, said once to us, I sound like y' all to me.

B (13:56)

Yeah, we've talked about. I sound like y' all to me on this pod before.

A (13:59)

Okay, so she definitely doesn'.

B (14:01)

Nobody in Boston is Like, I'm aware.

A (14:04)

I'm aware.

B (14:05)

Sucker. You sucker. Sounds like cork. Sucker. It's like something you'd call a sommelier.

A (14:12)

Cork sorcerer.

B (14:13)

Sommelier. Sommelier.

A (14:15)

Sommelier.

B (14:16)

Prefix. It is prefix.

A (14:20)

Yeah. What. What else would.

B (14:21)

It was pre fee for a while.

A (14:23)

Oh, pre fee.

B (14:24)

I'll have the pre fee menu.

A (14:25)

Well, yeah, I mean, you take one look at how hors d' oeuvres is and you're not trusting anything on that menu.

B (14:31)

Thank you.

A (14:32)

100%.

B (14:33)

Hors d' oeuvres is too close to horse. Horse durer. Which sounds like a horse bath. Now I'm thinking of a giant metal tub and a horse. Isn't it? I'm not hungry anymore.

A (14:46)

Thanks a lot.

B (14:47)

So God damn it. Is the official angry dad non chill jogging guy.

A (14:53)

Yeah.

B (14:53)

They're always so skinny.

A (14:55)

Yeah, they're. They're pitta in ayurvedic.

B (14:58)

Yeah, they're pitta.

A (14:59)

They're all fire.

B (15:00)

They're all fire. And they're running and they're trying to.

A (15:02)

Get done and they have too much testosterone and they're trying to, you know.

B (15:07)

And God love them.

A (15:08)

Oh, yeah. I mean, honestly, I think it would feel amazing to be that type of person.

B (15:14)

A jogger.

A (15:15)

Just like a pitta person. Like a fight. Like somebody whose first reaction is fight instead of flight. Fight. Freezer fun.

B (15:24)

Yeah, those are. Those people are really hard for me. My people that want to dig in on everything.

A (15:30)

Well, no, not. Not necessarily that. That extreme. But like I would say you. You. You have a little more fight.

B (15:41)

Let me just say if I'm uncomfortable.

A (15:44)

When you react that way, like when you're dysregulated and you're sort of reacting with. By being angry, I will be envious of that. Like, I'll think that. That sounds nice.

B (15:57)

That sounds nice. That's a bit of mine that hasn't been released yet. Yes. Okay. It's funny. Yeah. When we were talking about. Well, did we talk about this on the pod? One of our friends that was staying with us wanted to go back to la. This was while the fires were still raging and not contained. And she was like, I'm just going to go back, put an air purifier in the apartment and then I'm going to drive back. And I was like, you didn't know how to tell her? Like that just doesn't sound right. But she was like, kind of. And I understand people want to go to their home, but like, I am useful in the like kind of a light roasting of like you're Going to go turn on, like, a. Like, my feeling is, like, that's not going to make that much of a difference. Maybe just wait it out. Wait for the fire department to get their hands around this thing before you start driving back to plug in an air purifier. I don't know.

A (16:54)

Yeah, it's Maybe.

B (16:55)

Maybe it was there, I think. But she ended up staying.

A (16:56)

She did.

B (16:57)

And plugged it in later.

A (16:59)

Yeah. That's like, a good use of that. Of that fire. But also, like, I. I actually am interested in what you would say to this. Like, when you feel angry, like, if you feel like you've been wronged and you're dysregulated and you get angry, does that feel bad to you while you're angry?

B (17:19)

No. That's a great question.

A (17:20)

It feels good.

B (17:21)

That's a fantastic question.

A (17:22)

Yeah. Isn't it?

B (17:23)

Well, that's why we kind of look down on angry people. Like, if someone's in a sushi restaurant and they're like, motherf. The eel is supposed to be cooked, and they're like, spazzing.

A (17:34)

Yeah.

B (17:34)

You're not supposed to, but they're really going for it.

A (17:37)

Yeah. Yeah. Right, right.

B (17:38)

It's a little bit, like farting. It's like this guy couldn't hold it in. And it feels good to let it out.

A (17:45)

Right. 100%.

B (17:46)

Wow. I didn't realize how good farting was for that analogy. It is. It is. It's, like, kind of rude.

A (17:53)

Right.

B (17:53)

We all know it's the emotion that's most like a fart.

A (17:58)

That's right. Because everyone else is going. We're all holding it in and quietly suffering. You're making the rest of us suffer.

B (18:05)

You're the whoopee cushion, and you get to feel good. And then even the repair is nice. I think there is some shame, though.

A (18:14)

Like, There is shame. I think.

B (18:15)

I had a meeting yesterday. Here's. Here's what's not spoken too much about. And it's a different energy, but confidence or, like, just sort of. I don't know. It's not quite cockiness, but, like, you're. You're really lit up.

A (18:30)

Yeah.

B (18:30)

I had a meeting, and I went into this meeting, and it was about a script. And, like, I was like. I had just read it, and Pete is never better than if you give him the thing that we're gonna be talking about right before the thing.

A (18:44)

Yeah.

B (18:44)

This is why I look at my standup notes right before I do stand up. The last thing I looked at is how I am.

A (18:50)

Right. That's so true. I mean, I think that's a little bit true about everyone, but it's mostly true.

B (18:57)

So true for me.

A (18:58)

Yeah.

B (18:58)

Which is why I can get in horror, horrible moods.

A (19:02)

Yeah.

B (19:03)

And it's why I'm extra sensitive to things like the news. And like, I'm not saying I don't.

A (19:08)

Yeah.

B (19:09)

Know a general sense of what's going on. But if you flood me, like, if I just had the news on.

A (19:15)

Yeah. That's all that would exist.

B (19:17)

That's all that would exist to me.

A (19:19)

Yeah.

B (19:19)

I'm not sure. That's not true for a lot of people, even in a way that they might not know.

A (19:23)

Yeah.

B (19:23)

And you get that becomes very comfortable. Or if I'm pre preoccupied with something else that's stressing me out, that's not like a global or national issue. That, that'll be my reality. Anyway, so I went into this meeting having just read the script and like, you're gonna see why I brought this up. I'm simultaneously being like the shiniest, funniest, most intelligent version of myself. And as soon as I get off the meeting, I go, oh, no. Like, I was so much similar to anger. Like, it feels good. And I was inbound. Like, if you had seen this meeting, you wouldn't have been like, what a dick. At all. But like, there's this thing and it feels good. And I think that's similar to anger. While you're doing it, it feels good.

A (20:10)

Yeah.

B (20:10)

And then almost immediately afterwards you're just like, yeah. It's like they're eating. Like, you and I have a hard time going, don't eat all that pizza. You'll sleep terrible and you'll feel like shit.

A (20:23)

Yeah.

B (20:23)

And we're like, shut up. That's our rage.

A (20:25)

Right?

B (20:26)

That's how we deal. And that's also how we deal with unbearable feelings.

A (20:31)

I know. What is the answer? Because.

B (20:35)

Is it jogging?

A (20:36)

Is it jogging? Is it getting it out through jogging? Because I do think there's something so healthy about like my sister in law, for example, is one of these people. Like, she will feel what she's feeling in real time. She'll let it all out. And like that seems incredibly healthy because she's not like storing and suppressing. And like, you know, there's. You can trust that, like how she is feeling. If she seems fine. She is fine. Because if she wasn't, you wouldn't hear about it.

B (21:09)

Right? That's right.

A (21:10)

And that's. And that seems so healthy. And that's like what Leela is.

B (21:14)

That's Right. And we love that. And my parents. Both my parents were people that you'd kind of have to be like, how are. What's going on? Like, you wonder what the silence meant.

A (21:23)

Totally.

B (21:25)

I'll give you a hint. It never meant equanimity.

A (21:28)

It never meant, I'm okay.

B (21:30)

It never meant, like, just enjoying the moment.

A (21:32)

Yeah. And you're just wondering when the volcano is going to burst. And. And so, like, I do think it's healthy to express anger in that way.

B (21:43)

And then she's also fun because we've talked about Beth before. She'll get mad for you.

A (21:47)

Yes.

B (21:48)

You can kind of hire someone to.

A (21:50)

Be mad for you.

B (21:51)

And that's the second best.

A (21:52)

Yeah.

B (21:53)

If you can get mad like a Japanese rage room where you break plates and stuff. If you can do that with no guilt, which is why a rage room is private.

A (22:04)

Yeah.

B (22:06)

And there's definitely a rage room scandal coming where it's like this guy put his dick on the plates. You know, like, there's a secret camera. If you can get out clean, which I do with you. I get angry with you. Not with you, but I'll be with you and let out anger.

A (22:23)

Yeah.

B (22:24)

That's a wonderful thing to know that you have someone safe that can hold your anger.

A (22:29)

Yeah.

B (22:29)

That's number one. But number two is a good friend that will just be like, no, I know. That's fucking bullshit, dude.

A (22:38)

Yeah, totally.

B (22:39)

They'll even go too far. And you know they're going too far, but then you just start laughing.

A (22:43)

Yeah. 100%.

B (22:44)

Great. It's an anger surrogate.

A (22:46)

It really feels good. And it feels good, too. I've been trying to do this more. I can do this very easily for my friends, but it's harder for me. But, like, I'll have friends who are getting angry about something, and then they'll sort of do the qualifier where they're like. I mean, I know that, like, they were just trying to do that or whatever. And I'll be like, yeah. We can assume that there is a broader perspective of this, but let's just, like, give voice to just the angry part right now.

B (23:17)

Yeah.

A (23:18)

And allow that to just be fully heard.

B (23:21)

I think that's, you know, in therapy, I've been, as. I've been very vocal about, because it's really changing my life. But internal family systems parts work. Therapy has been so amazing. And one of the things when you're talking to an aspect of yourself called apart, you don't. You just let them express themselves. For me, it's often like, and I will die. Like, it's like they're telling me, like, if I don't achieve and. Oh, that can I. Sorry, I'm going to finish this up. But there's something I really wanted to talk about.

A (23:55)

Yeah.

B (23:55)

That I just remembered. If I don't achieve, I will die, I will be eaten alive and all this sort of stuff. And you don't. In learning how to deal with yourself, you're actually getting a refresher on how to deal with everybody, which is like, you just respect them, you thank them, you give them space, you're gentle with them. You're very clear. I said to one of my parts this week, I go, I come in peace. Like, literally, like, my hands are up. I'm just coming in. We're going to open with. Thank you. We were talking to my Plainview, which we hadn't talked to in a while, but my Plain View. The problem with my achieving your plain view is the achiever, Daniel Plainview from There Will Be Blood.

A (24:37)

Yeah.

B (24:38)

So the reason why I love that movie so much is it's such a clear picture of what a very scared, very angry and actually, I think very tender and damaged, meaning hurt person who doesn't think people are safe and all he wants to do is make enough money so he can literally die in a mansion, like a dark mansion, being alone. And it's not what he wants, it's not what makes him happy. And not only does he want to achieve, but he wants to destroy others. And that's what brought me to the thing that I was excited to talk about. Because I'm like, oh, this could be a stand up bit, but I don't think so. I want my next hour to be, I don't know, just a little bit sillier, a little bit lighter. So I'm moving away from some of the heavier topics and this would be one of those heavier topics where it's like, I think it's very significant that we have life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And it's the pursuit of happiness. And I'm like, americans don't want to be happy. That's insane. We do not want to be happy. Hear me out. A happy person is like some guy in a V neck T shirt in the south of France smoking a cigarette on a Tuesday, sitting at a cafe nursing an espresso for four hours. We have a word for that. It's a loser. I'm joking, by the way.

A (25:58)

Yeah, I know.

B (25:59)

I don't think that's true.

A (26:00)

Right.

B (26:01)

But we could. What we want now putting to one side. We were just talking about how when you're getting angry you have to put to side subtlety. I know there are some people that are actually pursuing happiness for sure. But a lot of us and I think you can see this in the media and you can see this in the nation at large. It's like we want to pursue happiness. We want it to be the next thing.

A (26:26)

Yeah.

B (26:26)

And the next thing. And we want to chase it until we drop dead. And really what. And this is where it might get into. My plain view aspect is I'm like, what we really want is to crush those we hate. We want to humiliate. We want to be doing better. It's not that we want to be doing well. We want to be doing better than somebody. Does this make sense?

A (26:51)

Totally. I'm just. I would just add to it. I think it is like the. It's sort of the capitalist plot. Like it is the capitalist plot. That's what they have sold us is we. I. So I, I wonder how specifically Western this is.

B (27:09)

I think it. I don't know either. But.

A (27:11)

And I think you're totally right.

B (27:13)

Like there's some island off of Japan where everyone lives to 150.

A (27:16)

Okinawa.

B (27:17)

Okinawa. And there's a. There's an island off of Greece where everyone lives to 150. And all they do is sing and eat vegetarian food and pray.

A (27:24)

And they actually are.

B (27:25)

And they're deeply happy. And no one's doing that. Well, that's what we're just like. But who are you squashing?

A (27:32)

Yeah. But I think that's it. Because it is capitalism depends completely on people wanting to be happy. Thinking that first of all, thinking that like happy all the time is even possible. But you need to have this thing and then this thing and then this thing and this thing. So you're right. Like it sells the pursuit. That's so smart. Like the, the key word there is the pursuit of happiness and it is.

B (28:01)

Capitalist because when you get something you want, you are briefly happy.

A (28:04)

Exactly.

B (28:05)

And then it's like, well then let's just keep getting more and more and more.

A (28:09)

Yeah. So it needs you to always be pursuing happiness so that you're always buying and buying and climbing and climbing. And then the crushing makes sense too because it is sort of this like merit. Like I'm using air quotes but like meritocracy, which it isn't. We were just talking about how the hardest jobs are the ones that often pay the.

B (28:30)

I was stoned and I was like, isn't it crazy? The worst jobs pay the worst.

A (28:36)

Yeah.

B (28:37)

And the best jobs pay the most. Look, I know. That's so obvious.

A (28:41)

Yeah.

B (28:42)

But if you go to work in flip flops and you're the CEO of. I'm picking Patagonia because I think that person lives around here. It's a great job. I'm not making fun of it. I'm just saying, like, it's pretty chill. No one's gonna fire you.

A (28:54)

Yeah.

B (28:54)

You're just kind of like looking at vests and okaying things. Taking a week off. You're making tons and tons of bread. And then the guy whose job, like I always go to slaughterhouse worker or the classic stand up comedy example, is the person whose job it is to jerk off pigs. Because they get to ornery oinkry. They get too oinkrey if they're. If they're not. So you're jerking off pigs. And like, I.

A (29:19)

That's a real job.

B (29:20)

That's a real job.

A (29:21)

Wow.

B (29:22)

I think it might not be to make them not oinkery. I think it's to make more pigs. But somebody is manually jerking off pigs.

A (29:30)

Wow.

B (29:31)

And. Or at least that used to be a job. I don't know. Maybe they have some sort of fleshlight now for the pigs. I'm gonna have to Google this, but I'm gonna put it into a video.

A (29:40)

Search because that's because we need to see exactly how it.

B (29:44)

In shopping. I'm going to click the tab shopping to see if anything comes up.

A (29:49)

Oh, my God.

B (29:51)

It's the most basic stoner lava lamp thought. If you're. And this isn't me being anti meat. I'm just saying if you kill chickens all day, you should make $100 million. They make $100 million selling chickens.

A (30:07)

Yeah, exactly.

B (30:07)

Is a huge, huge thing. And the guy that draws a cartoon. Excuse me, A cartoon chicken. And says purdue. It's the right thing to. Purdue makes more money than the guy that's covered in blood and feathers on a kilt floor. And again, I'm not disrespecting that job. I'm saying that's a really hard job.

A (30:29)

Yeah. And I think the, like, original idea behind it is that you're supposed to start at the slaughterhouse and then you don't. There's motivation to not want to stay there. So you climb up and up and up.

B (30:40)

Right.

A (30:41)

But it just doesn't work that way.

B (30:43)

I don't, I don't know. I don't know if There are any CEOs that are like to think we all were in the kill floor.

A (30:49)

I know, I know.

B (30:50)

They were in the mailroom. That's the cliche. But then again, this is very basic, like philosophy 101. But, like, the guy that's the CEO, what you don't know is he wants to stay the CEO.

A (31:04)

Oh, yeah.

B (31:05)

And he actually, you know, if he were to give it away, that. That, like, trope I feel like existed, I could be wrong more in the 70s of like, the old man who owns the company who doesn't give it to his shitty son, but gives it to the hard working. Often in like an immigrant, you know, like giving someone a chance.

A (31:25)

Right.

B (31:26)

Because he understood what that felt like. But now we're like nine generations into, like, cozy gets cozy. Like Nepo babies.

A (31:33)

Yeah.

B (31:34)

And it's like. So they're just gonna keep doing that 100. But am I right that it used to be a thing? Like, I feel like in this, like, I'm thinking of people I know that would want to be rascals in that way that are like. And I leave the company.

A (31:48)

Yeah.

B (31:48)

To Manuel.

A (31:49)

Yeah.

B (31:49)

Each Manuel was here every morning while you were out playing squash. And Manuel's just like, I'm sorry. And then Manuel rocks it. But then does Manuel give it to his kids? Like, when does it. You know.

A (32:03)

Yeah. When does it start?

B (32:03)

It's like White Lotus. Nobody. Nobody seeds their privilege.

A (32:07)

Right.

B (32:07)

That idea.

A (32:08)

Oh, yeah.

B (32:10)

Remember that Steve Z.

A (32:12)

That. That scene is.

B (32:14)

So I've been wanting to rewatch White Lotus. I'm in.

A (32:22)

What are you doing?

B (32:25)

This isn't right.

A (32:26)

Well, it just.

B (32:28)

It's also how I do a helicopter. That was a good helicopter.

A (32:36)

That was a good helicopter I was doing.

B (32:38)

It's in the distance, though.

A (32:39)

Let me hear it. Yeah, it's in the distance, though.

B (32:45)

It is in the distance.

A (32:46)

I can do anything that's, like, very far away.

B (32:48)

This is my impression of it's a cyber truck, which is a very specific sound. But it's very far away. That is. That is a pretty good cut of cake. You know when you're cutting a cake and there's some pieces that are better, especially if it's like a square cake.

A (33:05)

Yeah.

B (33:06)

You want a borderless middle piece.

A (33:08)

Yep. Now try your Jerry Maguire. But far away.

B (33:12)

Oh, yeah. Now I'm gonna do what you all think I'm gonna do and just flip out. Oh, I lost my headphones. A nuts. Nuts and nards. All right, well, we're at the mid.

A (33:26)

Let's do it.

B (33:27)

We'll go to the mid. Nuts and nards. Any way to tease. We talked about the pursuit of happiness. I did want to talk about. God, what a horrible mood I was in yesterday.

A (33:39)

Oh, yeah. And then the day before, I was in a bad mood. It was the longest lasting bad mood I've had in a long time.

B (33:46)

Really?

A (33:46)

I was in a bad mood all day.

B (33:49)

To your cred. Sometimes I feel bad that I don't notice that you're in a bad mood. But, like, you're also. You're holding in a big fart all day and you gotta let it out.

A (33:59)

See, this is why anger sounds nice to me, because I'm not showing it.

B (34:03)

But the angry guy, the bearded James Taylor jogger face, is he living longer? I mean, he explodes eventually. The only way out for that guy is like, changes in attitudes, changes in latitudes. He's got to move to a coastal area. Like, there are some people that just. It's like the only prescription is you have to live in Hawaii.

A (34:28)

Right.

B (34:29)

But certain levels of tension, maybe it wouldn't work.

A (34:32)

I don't think it works because then I. I think they have. Those types of people have to be kind of like workaholics. They have to be.

B (34:40)

He should be in New York and he should just scream and yell and fucking love it every day.

A (34:44)

Yeah.

B (34:45)

There should be some guy who owns a bodega, and he's playing loud music all day and he screams at him. Then he goes in his apartment, closes the door, and close on his face, just the smallest little smile. We cut to black. He found his home. He loves it. Oh, and I'm sorry, we need to check in with the bodega guy who's secretly in love with him.

A (35:04)

That was a twist.

B (35:05)

Yeah. Yeah, he's in love with him.

A (35:06)

Oh, that's cute.

B (35:08)

I watched that. Well, he had a very quiet, a taciturn father. And so there's something very appealing, like.

A (35:14)

Protective about a daddy like that.

B (35:16)

Yeah, daddy, totally. That's just like. Imagine someone who stands up for themselves. And when he turns the radio on sometimes he has it. What he thinks is too loud, and the guy doesn't come, he turns it up. It's like the bat signal for his dog. He wants him.

A (35:31)

He wants him to come yell at him.

B (35:32)

Then one day he's in the hospital and he doesn't come, and it's close on the radio and, you know, it's playing like. Like that. Yeah, that rhythm that showed up in like 2003 and then, like, never left.

A (35:45)

Yeah.

B (35:51)

Yeah, that's good. And what is that one? That's like oh, I'm not going to be able to think of it. It's like in the Fast and the Furious. They love it. I don't know who I mean by they, but there's like, a whole group that can't get enough of, like, oh, I'm going to look it up.

A (36:07)

I want to know. I love that beat, by the way.

B (36:11)

Furious. Act a fool. No. See you again. No. Is it see you again?

A (36:20)

I don't know.

B (36:21)

I think it is.

A (36:21)

See you again with Wiz Khalifa.

B (36:26)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

A (36:29)

Okay. What? I know this song, but.

B (36:36)

Yeah, they love that.

A (36:37)

Where's the beat?

B (36:38)

Oh, okay. I don't know if this has them. How can we not talk about family? With. Family's all that we got. Everything I would do. You were standing. I can't listen to that. I feel like I'm in the Takis aisle. Like, I'm looking at Takis.

A (36:56)

What's Tucky?

B (36:57)

If you got that rep, It's a very New York bodega. Like, Takis is like a. An extreme. It's like a Dorito for someone who needs to wake up a little bit.

A (37:07)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Huh?

B (37:08)

Yeah, it's a Dorito for someone who's, like, feeling fatigued.

A (37:12)

Oh, my God. Remember the summer that we were in New York? I think it was the third season of crashing, and I was super pregnant. And we both had songs that summer that we hated.

B (37:25)

Yes.

A (37:26)

That every bodega, every grocery store was singing the song.

B (37:29)

Yeah. And what was mine?

A (37:31)

Yours was. I can remember yours, but I can't remember mine. Yours was Havana Unana.

B (37:38)

Oh, that's. And I would hear that rhythm everywhere, and I would think of Havana Mamana.

A (37:48)

Yeah. And I had one that was basically the same, but just slightly different that I hated.

B (37:53)

Well, I. I'd like to think I don't. But I do need earbuds. Like, sometimes I do these YouTubes where it's like, celebrities tell you the five things that they need.

A (38:02)

Oh, yeah.

B (38:03)

All of mine are like. Mine are like, I need my hat. And that's to block out my periphery on an airplane because for some reason, no matter what my neighbor is doing infuriates me.

A (38:14)

Yeah.

B (38:14)

They could be praying for me. They could be sewing me a sweater, knitting me as me, and I have to not look at them. I just don't like how close they are. Blah, blah. It's. It's earbuds to. And when I went to the grocery store yesterday, they're just playing pop music, and I'm like, this is. This will Be the rest of my life if I listen to this song.

A (38:38)

Yeah. So I. I know. I was hesitant to even sing it for the reference of this.

B (38:43)

No, I don't know that song well enough for it to relatch.

A (38:46)

Yeah.

B (38:47)

Like a baby.

A (38:48)

But there's something specifically about being in New York where your brain already feels completely full.

B (38:56)

Yes.

A (38:57)

And that. So you're just like, I can't actually have a song in my head right now because I'm so anxious. It will OCD style, loop it for days and days and days.

B (39:07)

I'm dead. That's what we're gonna talk about when we come back. And because you just really awakened in me a primal urge. We'll be right back. Let me ask you something. If you got poop on your hand, would you just wipe it with some Kleenex and just be like, I'm done. I'm good. Or would you want water involved? That's what a bidet is. That's what a tushy bidet is. Tushy bidet is here to change and upgrade your toilet game in the new year. Me in January, I'm like, I'm gonna eat more veggies and hike. Me in February. I just want my asshole to stop burning when I go to the toilet. And now the tushy bidet is here and it is cleaning your butt in the way that I'm going to say it. The Lord intended with water. You got to spray it away, get it clean just like it was crap on your hand. You got to get a power blaster on there. It's like dry leaves out of your driveway with a high powered hose. A tushy bidet uses a precise stream of clean water to get your butt tip top. Especially now that it's going to be spring. You got to be clean down there. Come on. Spring cleaning tushy. It's easy, it's fast, and once you try it, you'll never go back. I thought it would feel weird. Or if I have a hard time finding my B hole. Nope. Bullseye. First try, it feels A. Okay. A stands for ass. And the first time it hits it. No. No issue. And now there's no going back. Makes pooping any other way feel primitive backwards in stone Age. This is like a midday shower. And in five seconds after every poo, the way God intended. They have lots of different models. The classic permanent bidet that attaches to your existing toilet, which is what I have and love. And we just got the Tushy Travel, which is amazing, portable, and travels with you discreetly so there's no more compromising your number two game when you're on the move. Tushy bidets are easy to install. I'm talking less than 10 minutes. And those 10 minutes will change your life. Get a real clean bottom and help keep away hemorrhoids, UTIs and yeast infections. And step your butt into the future with a science fiction level of clean with tushy. Just sit down, relax, turn the knob and spray precise stream of fresh water at your butt. Every hello tushy bidet comes with a 30 day hassle, free return and a 12 month warranty. So stay shower fresh now that it's spring spring cleaning and join the 2 million butts who've already switched to tushy. For a limited time, our listeners get 10% off their first bidet. When you use code WEIRD at checkout. That's 10 off your first bidet@hellotushy.com Weird with promo code weird. Hello Tushy T U s h y.com weird with promo code weird. And tell them that we sent you and thank me later. Okay, so what I wanted to say was Leela got a furby.

A (41:47)

A furbette.

B (41:48)

A furbet, which is a small furby. And I didn't know, but furbies were designed by people who have no trauma.

A (41:56)

Yeah. No sound sensitivity.

B (41:59)

They grew up, I'm guessing in Sweden. They were barefoot in like white linen shirts. There were clotheslines. There was a lot of like shuttlecocking, but no net. They're just kind of playing catch with the shuttlecock and very long thin rackets. And it's amazing. And they're so happy. There's fresh lemonade everywhere. And then one of those fucking golden toad children made the furby because they were like, obviously no one would be bothered by this.

A (42:25)

We like a little thrill.

B (42:27)

What if that was a thrilling toy? Something that was like, wouldn't that be funny? And of course the child will turn it off when it's clear that everyone's hard enough and needs a break. I typed in how to turn. No. I wish I was gonna lie, but let's just say if you google for bets.

A (42:54)

Yeah.

B (42:55)

One of the top results is how to turn off a fur bet. Because it's nuts and it's a secret button. You hide the button. The furby is almost as if alive, like another family member. Like, remember when you had another baby and I raised it all myself because I'm just so happy and well adjusted and I'm always cutting butter, cutting it.

A (43:18)

And serving the butter it's always smooth, never too hot. Butter and sweet.

B (43:23)

The butter is kind of sweet, almost like a candy.

A (43:27)

It's a butter candy. But we only have let ourselves have 1/2 inch every day.

B (43:32)

1/2 inch. Totally enough. On my birthday, I have half a stick.

A (43:37)

And I mean rest of day, eat celery.

B (43:40)

Each celery is too full. I'm too full. I'm too satiated. I'm. All of my needs are met. Turn the fur bat on. Now we're jazzing. They have some verb we don't have. Now we're jazzing. Anyway, it sucks. And when I. So I did therapy, and as much as I love therapy, sometimes it does bring things up. I'm talking about my plain view. And instead of talking about it, which I'm very comfortable with, she was just pushing me to, you're gonna love this. A somatic experience. She was like, I don't know what it is. I don't know who it is, but I'm feeling it in my throat. I feel like I'm being choked. And she goes, maybe let it. If you're comfortable, let it increase.

A (44:25)

Yeah.

B (44:26)

I was like, what?

A (44:27)

I know.

B (44:28)

And, dude, it's like this type of therapy is very close friends with psychedelics. There's something about, like the power of your mind. And you're like, what if I just let this increase? And then it does. And your throat. This might freak people out. But I knew I was safe, I was breathing. But you just feel this pressure in your neck, chest area. And I was like, wow. It wanted to talk to me.

A (44:54)

Yeah.

B (44:55)

So I'm doing all this unearthing of feelings.

A (44:57)

So good.

B (44:58)

I know, it's. She's incredible. My therapist is incredible. And internal family systems is incredible. But then I go down and you said it. When you're overwhelmed and there's something your brain. And I really am saying, like, I felt okay thinking about these things, but my brain is like, I don't.

A (45:20)

Yeah.

B (45:21)

I'm trying to answer emails. I'm trying to have a life.

A (45:24)

Yeah.

B (45:25)

So it would take the Furby song and loop it and fuck me if it's Bruno or some shit.

A (45:32)

Yeah.

B (45:33)

Like, that's like a coping. It's one of the ways that I get songs out of my head is I go, like, there's something we don't want to think about. That's okay. Let's make a deal. Let's not do any deep thoughts, but you can turn the bodega music off, please.

A (45:47)

Yeah.

B (45:47)

Not saying it always works, but.

A (45:49)

Right, well, that's the thing. Also the. Like, when our bodies are dysregulated, it's. I've used this before, but it's. It's like a wind to our brain's windmill. And it'll just make it.

B (46:05)

I'm seeing a pinwheel.

A (46:06)

Ooh, a pinwheel.

B (46:07)

Like, my brain's more of a pinwheel.

A (46:09)

Yeah. And it's. So. It's just making it spin and spin and spin. And, you know, that can look all kinds of different ways. Like, I. I was talking about how around this time, winter's just, you know, it is the hardest season for a lot of us.

B (46:27)

Sister Winter.

A (46:28)

Sister Winter. And generally, if I were a journaler, I think I would notice that, like, around this time every year, I am experiencing a specific sort of, like, obsessive brain. And right now, it's on Bob Dylan. But, like, you know, years before, it's been on whatever. You know, like, the. The dream is when I can get it actually on a creative project.

B (46:56)

Yes.

A (46:56)

But it does feel like a. Like, fire hose energy that, like, sometimes I can't wrangle and actually point it at something.

B (47:04)

Yes. It's an obsessive time.

A (47:06)

Yeah. So it's. So I'll even, like, get to the point where I'm reading so much about Bob Dylan that I'm starting to feel, like, sick to my stomach, and I'm like, I need to stop. Like, I don't. This doesn't feel good anymore.

B (47:18)

Yeah. Yeah.

A (47:19)

And I think that there is a. An anxiety that comes with winter, and my brain is responding by obsessing about something because the pinwheel is rolling.

B (47:32)

I just think so much of human history. This is also something that my therapy has been PO Pointing me to is, like, so your plain view. Is it just your protector, or has he been protecting your people, like, for a long time? Like, generationally.

A (47:46)

Right.

B (47:46)

And I have a hard time dipping into that. I'm so hesitant to be, like. To try and speak to that. Like, I'll feel insincere. But I do get the sense that winter, traditionally, for humans is just the worst news.

A (48:02)

Yeah.

B (48:03)

And it comes every year, and you're.

A (48:04)

Just trying to get through it. That's so smart. I didn't even think about the, like, epigenetics.

B (48:10)

Yeah.

A (48:10)

Yeah.

B (48:10)

That for thousands of years, when it gets cold and when it starts to get cold and when the leaves are dying and it's like, do we have a silo that's elevated off the ground, that critters won't eat our food? How many are going to Die again. I'm not trying to be funny. It's like, it's such a rough. Hold your nose. Let's go get through it.

A (48:29)

Yeah.

B (48:29)

And then spring comes, and we're so happy. And you're horny, of course, in the spring, because you're like, yeah, let's do it now. Although the baby will be born in winter. That's a weird joke. Horny in March, conceiving in or birthing in November.

A (48:50)

December.

B (48:50)

December.

A (48:51)

Yeah.

B (48:51)

Yeah. Horny in March, birthing in December. That's just like a weird joke trap.

A (48:57)

I mean. Joke trap.

B (48:59)

Yeah, it's a weird little trap.

A (49:01)

Yeah. Well, even just that, like, babies are. I mean, we were at coffee with our. Our friend's baby, and our friend.

B (49:12)

Yeah, friend was also there, and I.

A (49:14)

Was like, boy, they're so cute. At, like, 14 months. This baby is like, 14 months. And you're like, that is like, the cutest age. And doesn't that make sense that, like, you're. You're rested enough and they're peeking at cute. Where you'll be like, I'll have another one.

B (49:35)

Right. Like, it's a trick, too.

A (49:36)

All just tricking us.

B (49:37)

It's all tricks. And I have a bit right now, which is what you're referencing, which is like, sex is a trick.

A (49:42)

Yeah.

B (49:43)

Making more babies is hidden in our favorite thing. That's insane.

A (49:47)

Yeah.

B (49:48)

And also, like, really, Talk about lava lamp talk. But who is tricking who? The genes. The genetic intelligence.

A (49:57)

Yeah.

B (49:57)

Is. Is separate from your private intelligence. You belong to a system. And then there's, like, universal intelligence that's going on as well.

A (50:08)

Yeah. Which might be it, too. Like the force of life, the thing that makes wind blow so that seeds of plants will spread and create more and more and more. Like, that is the universal intelligence that's sort of behind everything. And then I love thinking about that because it just feels like, thank God I'm a tiny seed that gets blown by the wind and planted in the earth. And I really actually have very little to do with it. I know that that might be. There probably are, you know, mind states that I can get into where that's bad news. But, like, for the most part, that feels so good. Like, what a relief. You just gotta sort of let the wind blow you.

B (51:02)

No, it's true. So Rupert Spira, my favorite boyfriend. Boyfriend. My favorite boyfriend. Teacher. He is a dreamboat. He talks about your thoughts. And sometimes people ask, like, how do I change my thoughts? I certainly feel that way the more I've been with you and someone who doesn't have the same sort of. I don't know how to say it, but, like, there's such a. Well, no, I meant a bad thing. There's such a Boston 80s and 90s. There's like a toxicity to that. I was talking to Matt about it, Matt McCarthy, and we were talking about. I hope he wouldn't mind me saying that when he met his wife, they're watching TV and she was like, are you going to say something about everything you see? And that is so like my. A touchdown for my father is like, you'd think New York would have a prettier newscaster. Like, everything is just getting, like, sprayed by judgment.

A (52:00)

Yeah.

B (52:01)

It's one of the reasons why I think Boston makes so many great comedians.

A (52:05)

Right.

B (52:06)

And that's something I think is awesome. But it is like, there's a lot of, like, judging at what cost? But so I spend. Or I used to spend more of my time going, like, how can I know so much religious, spiritual theory and also spend so much time actively trying to soften my heart and also speaking. And I have so many mentors. Father Greg Boyle, Richard Rohr, Rupert, of course, that are like. Like, my heroes are loving, gentle, generous people. All I do is read their stuff and all I do is watch them speak. And I think about it. I want it, and I want it, I want it. And then, like, I see somebody who is somehow. In a. In a 90s kind of way, we would have made fun of this, right? And it's hard to think of an example. But I'm just saying, like, you know, in the nine, in the 80s too, if you saw somebody like, I'm without any body shaming, but if somebody was like, very heavy, like a heavy person in the 80s, that was just like. If you were watching a movie and there was a character that was very big, you would be like, here comes the joke about how they can't stop eating Jujubes. Like, you'd start salivating, being like, here it comes. I mean, in the 70s, they wore shirts that said no fat chicks. I mean, like, that's just how it. I'm not saying. They also had shirts that said up with mini skirts. It was a fucked up time.

A (53:44)

Yeah, yeah.

B (53:45)

The 70s gets a lot of credit for being super groovy, but it was also no fat chicks. They were. They were always like, bro, not saying that's bros. But they were always another energy. It wasn't just peace and love. So anyway, I catch myself having all of these involuntary thoughts, and Rupert has this great Quote where he goes, if you want to change your thoughts, you can. You just have to change the entire universe.

A (54:08)

Wow.

B (54:09)

Meaning I am. I'm not saying I can't work on it, you know, and work with it is maybe a better way to put it. But, like, when it comes to being, I hear your voice in my head, you, Valerie, all the time going, like, what a 90s Boston kid thing to say. And I go, yeah. In this beautiful, like, aha. Like I'm part of a thing again. This doesn't mean green lights to all impulses and feelings, but when it comes to something like feeling shame that you have these knee jerk responses that were ingrained and driven into your brain, have them and go, what a 90s Boston kind of thought 100 and just move on.

A (54:54)

This is what I've always said about forgive it. Part of you is that it sounds so much like intrusive thoughts to me.

B (55:02)

Right.

A (55:03)

Especially because it will heighten when you're dysregulated.

B (55:07)

Yes.

A (55:09)

And I have dealt with intrusive thoughts. It was sort of part of my, like, you know, I had just like a little touch of postpartum ocd and it came out in intrusive thoughts and just a sprinkle. Just a sprinkle of it.

B (55:23)

And that was just a yes hand. I wasn't saying you only had a little.

A (55:26)

No, no, I know. Yeah. No, I do want to. Like, I think people have it way worse, but I would get to that in times when I was, like, alone with Leela and really dysregulated. And the only thing that ends up working is just going like the. That's just a thought. Like. And I've been teaching Leela that too, because Leela is starting to get to the age where she'll, you know, get. Have a scary thought and then she'll be like, I can't stop thinking about this. And I'm like, just let yourself think it. And every time you do, you can just be like, oh, that's just a thought. And she like, when you do that.

B (56:03)

Yeah.

A (56:03)

And that's such a good. Remember, like, mem. Such a good reminder to me too. Because thoughts are only harmful when you believe them. When you identify with them, when you think that they're who you are, we start building.

B (56:18)

Jumping to building conclusions is better. You go, well, I thought that about these people that I saw at the airport. I'm a piece of shit. It becomes a belief.

A (56:29)

Yeah, exactly.

B (56:30)

And then the beliefs become your seeming identity.

A (56:35)

It really is so helpful also to think of it as like, a radio station, you know, you're like, oh, my.

B (56:40)

Gosh, I've never heard that.

A (56:40)

Remember when we used to think we would listen to the radio even if we didn't like the song or the. You know, the DJ was kind of like, not our favorite and being annoying, like, sometimes you're like, yeah, but this is the radio station. And, like, it'll just be on in the background and I'm just not going to listen.

B (56:56)

Or they're doing the ads or something, and they're like, if you have erectile dysfunction, you're like, well, this isn't for me.

A (57:01)

Yeah, this is.

B (57:02)

But you didn't get mad about it and go, like, why do I keep having these erect. Erectile dysfunction ads?

A (57:06)

Right?

B (57:06)

You just go like, it's running an ad. That's the whole interconnected every. So many of our issues come from a feeling of separation, feeling like you're this little capsule going through this world, but when you realize that you are saturated and indistinguishable from the world. Like, Michael Gunger has that great point in his book this, which is a great book, great audiobook, too. He talks about, like, we're basically trees. We're very similar to trees. We're just the wireless version. It's like, we don't have to plug into the earth, but we eat food that grew in the earth, and our leaves don't turn sunlight into glucose. We eat glucose and we breathe air directly into the lung. It's the same kind of apparatus. In fact, everything is like, in the pitch black, deepest ocean, that thing is also seeking out the same types of whatever. I'm gonna sound fancy and be like, carbon based. You know what I mean? I just mean, like, it's in this world, and believe it or not, you and that deep sea fish are merged in this very real way. And like, all of that, like, when there's a tragedy, we always say, you know, they were a loner, like, they were detached. That that's not always. But often, you know, they kept to themselves. I don't know. It's like, yeah, there's something true about that. It's like, we need to remember how much, as Father Boyle says, we belong to each other. But then also, like, you belong to the world. And that includes when you lose your temper after you wheelie skid on shit.

A (58:48)

Mm. You need to bring it back.

B (58:51)

And I was saying this on the podcast. I know that was a deep callback. It's like, when Pete is angry, boy, he just thinks he doesn't Belong. And I'm like, actually, that's exactly right.

A (59:04)

Right.

B (59:04)

And that's what a friend will remind you.

A (59:07)

This is what my. My therapist said. I don't even remember exactly how we're talking about it, but she's like, basically, she's like, if you open the door to every, like, layer of somebody's fears, the last door is always a fear of abandonment. And I think that's. That seems right. I would just change the language to, like, the last door is fear of separation. Because we. And why do we fear that so much? Because it's the most unnatural thing. And therefore it actually is the least true thing. Because it, like, you know what I mean? So. And that this is also just on that topic, it's like something else that I always say to myself is like, fear clouds the truth. So, like, if there. You can always, you know, if there is fear, you can be like, I don't have to believe my thoughts, especially right now, because there's fear. So I know I'm not seeing it clearly. So if I'm afraid, afraid of separation the most, then that is the least true thing. It's because I. Some part of me is recognizing that doesn't line up with the nature of reality. The nature of reality is this connectedness. And then, you know, some. You would say oneness. It's like, of course it's connected to the point where it's just one. And I agree with that, too. I'm just saying you love to say that.

B (60:46)

Well, you know when they say that love is the answer, like, oneness being a better definition of love. 1. A shared reality.

A (60:55)

Yeah.

B (60:55)

As opposed to, like, a nice feeling. Of course, I'm not the first to point out that often when we say I love you, we mean I really, really like you, but like, a deep love. And of course I really, really like you. In fact, I say that to you all the time. Yeah, I go, I really like it you. But the love, again, Rupert would say, it's not actually relationship. It's the dissolving or the collapsing of relationship. And recognizing that, like, I was actually thinking about this because we went to a. Like a farm, you know, Leela wanted to ride a horse around, and we did that. And then I was walking around the farm, and I saw a pig. Two pigs actually snuggling. And they were sleeping, and the pig was deep asleep. And it's. I swear it was smiling. It looked like the happiest. Just like a pig in. Was so happy. And I was, like, really tripped out on. I was like that pig in its own experience of itself in deep sleep. And in deep sleep, you have no sense of, I'm a pig in deep sleep. I have no sense of, I'm a human named Pete. You just are, as I say all the time. Consciousness without an object. You're a flashlight with nothing to shine the flashlight on. It's just light. So that pig, in its essence, is exactly the same as me, in my essence when I'm asleep. And that's not just like a theory. If you could take a sample of my experience of myself when I'm deep asleep and a sample of this pig, of its experience of itself when it's deep asleep, put them next to each other, it would be spacious, clean, naked, empty, light. It would just be that with which all pigness or peatness, is known. I was like, that's love. That's me going, like, I get it, we're the same. And then as that pig wakes up and sort of reanimates and realizes its pigness and remembers, oh, yeah, this is where my food is, and this is where I don't want a fucking pig. And I wake up and I go, I gotta email that guy. It returns. But in the naked, deep sleep, the same.

A (62:50)

Yeah.

B (62:50)

And then. But I was like, that's great for pigs. I'm trying to do that now with difficult people in my life. And it doesn't all. It doesn't mean you're gonna like everybody, but, like, it's nice to hold on to. In our most naked form. We're exactly. In our essence, we're exactly the same. And that's love. So oneness is a fun concept, but again, it's in the interest of remembering that you love and are with and share reality with everything.

A (63:21)

Right. I love that point. It is, you know, oneness is the absolute truth. And then our personalities is the relative truth. The, like, waking and the differentiating.

B (63:31)

Go ahead, hate that and yell at that. Who cares? Like, that's so stupid. It's just entertainment, right? Just theater and of course, be kind and all that. But I'm just saying, like, you don't have to like. And if I could really own that as someone who wants everyone to like him, I could really own that.

A (63:48)

Right?

B (63:49)

And Pete's grumpy sometimes. Okay, great.

A (63:51)

Yeah.

B (63:51)

It's like Rupert has a great analogy too, where he's like. Like, it's like water. And you add tea to water, you add coffee to water, Kool Aid. But it's still in its essence, it's. It's all Water.

A (64:05)

Yeah.

B (64:06)

And we're going around being like, I don't like Kool Aid. And maybe you feel bad about that. It's like, who cares?

A (64:11)

Right? Right.

B (64:12)

I mean, you're. You're both water. And if you can hold on to that, you'll probably be kind to Kool Aid.

A (64:17)

Well, that's what I was gonna say. The. Like, if you, if you have a little piece of the absolute truth with you, then you. It will sort of change your perspective of the relative truth. Not to the point where you're like, I. I'm in love with everyone, you know?

B (64:34)

No, but that was in my last ketamine trip where it was like, even your least favorite person is doing a flawless version of that person.

A (64:42)

Yeah.

B (64:42)

Like a Academy Award worthy performance. And they never break character.

A (64:48)

Yeah.

B (64:49)

And at the end of the day. Burp. At the end of the day, they were the same thing as us. Just playing this role, playing it perfectly. So you can. I was in a shit mood and I went to the grocery store and everybody was just being very small town and just fucking taking their time. And then you're like, you can kind of allow that, like, be the song on the radio and again, not just as a philosophical understanding, but as a break for yourself and go like. And here we are in this weird oneness and it's okay.

A (65:24)

Yeah.

B (65:24)

I wanted to close with a funny. And we went and saw Stomp and I thought we had.

A (65:28)

Oh my God, yes.

B (65:30)

Thoughts about Stomp.

A (65:31)

Totally.

B (65:31)

And I'm gonna do it like Valley Heat. We'll talk about that after this promo. This episode is brought to you by Stomp. I don't know if you've ever been to one of those shows where like, I don't know, eight or maybe 12 men and women, more men than women. You know how men are always tapping on their leg, you know, more theta energy. I think it's like the theta brain wave. Anyway, so it's like a group of men and some women and they have brooms and they're banging them. They're banging. And then like a beat sort of a emerges, like it kind of presents itself. And then there's a guy with a lighter and he's like. And you're like tapping your toe. It's like, stop. Like, hey, what if we banged on this? Yeah, I can't do it. No, he's.

A (66:12)

Yeah, I know. He's so special.

B (66:14)

It's a thing I can't do.

A (66:16)

I know. It's so good.

B (66:18)

But I'll never stop trying.

A (66:19)

Yeah.

B (66:19)

Because it's fun to do it. It's fun to just be like, you know, one of them's wearing overalls, but one of the, one of the, one of the straps is undone. Kind of like a 90s. Like were they just spray painting something and now they're sweeping in a, in a rhythm?

A (66:32)

Yeah, but that is stump. We went inside.

B (66:35)

Hey, what if we banged on this? We loved it. By the way, if anybody that was in that production of Stomp in Utah, what a great job you did. Thank you.

A (66:42)

Yes, I did love it. I do. I do use it as the example of like, you know, we were in a hotel room with a six year old for five days in Salt Lake City, not skiing. It wasn't snowing, but it was cold. So by the last day we went to Benihana and saw Stomp.

B (67:01)

Yeah.

A (67:01)

Because like, what else are you going to do?

B (67:04)

And in that spirit, we're not the perfect audience for Stomp because having a six year old is living with Stomp and you're the drug. So you're constantly being touched and stimulated. But it was really, really cool. One thing that I noticed that I don't like about myself, Shane Gillis has a funny joke about how you get older, you start getting more conservative, you just feel yourself closing like a fist. So I don't like this, but I was like worried about these guys. I was like, what are they going to be doing in 10 years?

A (67:34)

Oh, yeah, right.

B (67:35)

When did I become the d from that 70s show? I'm in the arts and I'm sitting.

A (67:41)

There going like, this is not practical. This is not practical, sustainable.

B (67:44)

What are you going to do? Go to your next job and say, I can get a rhythm going out of a plastic bag.

A (67:48)

Right.

B (67:49)

But of course you can. Yeah, of course you can. You were in Stomp, Right? I'm sure you can be. You'll figure it out in another production of another thing. But that's kind of one of my old man thoughts.

A (68:01)

Yeah.

B (68:01)

I was like, you should be a lawyer. So dumb.

A (68:04)

I went, I don't believe that. My little Stomp snippet is that.

B (68:09)

Stomp it.

A (68:10)

For the first 45 minutes I loved it. I was grooving. I was so impressed. I was like really moved.

B (68:20)

Yeah.

A (68:20)

And then just like a light switch turning off, I went from absolutely loving it to being like, get me out of here. Yeah. Like, oh, let me guess, you're gonna do a drum beat on that. The trash can.

B (68:32)

You do realize sometimes shows want to be a certain length to prevent people from complaining that it was Too short. Not because the show needs.

A (68:43)

It could have been 45 minutes.

B (68:44)

And that's true of a lot of things, even great things. I saw Mitch Hedberg, one of the greats, and it turns out an hour was a little too long for one liners. But he's got to do an hour because that's how it is.

A (68:54)

Right.

B (68:55)

One of the greats. I was like, they should just let him do 40. It would have been in my. To my taste. The constant channel change of new premise, new premise, new premise. It just got a little tiring. Yeah, probably for him too. I don't know. So it doesn't mean it's bad.

A (69:11)

No.

B (69:11)

Mitch Hedberg's one of the greatest comedians that ever lived. And maybe it could have been that and this was awesome. And maybe it could have been 45 minutes. But they're like, it's got to be an hour and a half because everyone paid $50.

A (69:22)

Yeah. And you made the like the excellent point that there, there are ways that it definitely feels 20 years old or 30 years old, however old it is. Because that, you know, it is impressive. And I think it was more impressive.

B (69:40)

30 years ago and no one had seen that coming. 30 years ago.

A (69:44)

Yeah.

B (69:44)

Someone's like, what?

A (69:47)

With a broom, you're like, someone comes in with another. What's happening?

B (69:53)

And we're what now in a post TikTok generation, you're watching videos where a guy throws a ping pong ball into the over the ocean, right. A seagull eats it, then shits it. It lands on a table at a velocity you can't imagine and a guy misses it and then a crowd erupts because it was the Olympics.

A (70:13)

Right.

B (70:14)

You see that, right? It's a little less exciting that someone's like, I know. You know, I'm not saying it's just how things age. And the thing that will be the next stomp is going to be nuts.

A (70:27)

Yeah. And then in 30 years we will.

B (70:29)

Be bored by that.

A (70:30)

That's just it.

B (70:30)

That goes back to my theory. I want to be on the record as much as I can. I think in 20 years what we consider hardcore pornography now will be considered quaint and old fashioned.

A (70:40)

Scareding.

B (70:41)

I don't think it's because it's like going to be nine dicks or something. I mean like in the future it's going to be like so much an AI 3D immersive, like mountains or boobs. And there's a butt the size of Utah.

A (70:54)

Yeah.

B (70:55)

You know what I mean?

A (70:56)

Right.

B (70:56)

And it's not it's.

A (70:57)

It.

B (70:58)

It's actually trans. It's like it's beyond sexuality. It's like it's so erotic that you and I wouldn't recognize it. In the same way that a caveman wouldn't understand Times Square. If you see what's going to be erotic in 20 years, it would look like a screensaver to us.

A (71:17)

I don't know. I wonder.

B (71:19)

I'm not sure. Just having a hot take though.

A (71:21)

If we. I wonder if we. Correct, if.

B (71:26)

I hope we do too.

A (71:26)

Like pendulum swing a little bit.

B (71:28)

Oh, I hope we're going into five and dimes and looking in a little projector and there's one photograph in it.

A (71:33)

Yeah. Because this is, you know, not to like pull everybody into my Bob Dylan rabbit hole. Like leaving Bob Dylan out of it. We are having the experience of like. Okay, if you, if you're looking at Bob Dylan chronologically, you go to 60s Dylan and it is so like so quaint and adorable. Even though he was being like edgy at the time.

B (72:00)

Yeah.

A (72:01)

But it's all black and white. He's so young. Anytime he barely flashes a smile, both of us like clutch our hearts and we're just like, oh my God, he's so dreamy and so cute. And then we tried to watch Rolling Thunder Review yesterday.

B (72:19)

Yeah.

A (72:19)

Which is him in the 70s.

B (72:22)

And it's so 70s and it's so.

A (72:24)

70S because the 60s just kind of kept going in the. The direction that it was going, which was getting freakier and deakier and more drugs and more drugs. And then the 70s was a trippy ass nightmare of a decade.

B (72:39)

Yeah. I don't know if I like the 70s.

A (72:40)

I don't think I like the 70s. And he's like in like, he's got like clown. Yeah, he's. He's got a white face and like eyeliner and he's got feathers in his hat and he looks really like bohemian and weird and he's singing the songs all sloppy and you're just like, this is the 70s. Like, this is so. It's making us feel weird. I feel like we're gonna have bad dreams.

B (73:02)

I thought so too, and I think I did. I don't think I slept great.

A (73:05)

But then if you think about it like, so then the. So the 70s kept going like that. And then the 80s, it was like all yuppie capitalists. Like really tight, uptight, square.

B (73:21)

And even the musicians looked like they were 3D printed by but a computer in the 80s.

A (73:26)

Yeah, totally.

B (73:27)

Like, it's like we had a 3D printer from the 2000s but we had a computer from the 80s, like an Apple II. And it was like, here's a rock star and it's all square and purple and the sleeves are rolled up and sunglasses and big hair, totally sloppy pants.

A (73:40)

And think about this. Like if you say 70s porno, everybody knows, everybody knows what that looks like. If you say an 80s porno, people are like, I don't, I don't know that reference.

B (73:53)

We're in a white modern apartment now.

A (73:56)

Yeah. But it's not like in the Zeitgeist.

B (73:59)

I agree.

A (74:00)

Like, like 70s porn had a huge place in the society, in the culture of the 70s. And in the 80s it was, you know, just a little bit more like on the down low. So I just have this feeling that we're gonna like always do that a little bit.

B (74:18)

I hope you're right. I, I've certainly cooled on my, we're all like the whole world is about to be upside down. AI feelings.

A (74:27)

Yeah.

B (74:27)

It seems to be a little more gentle. In fact it is the way the things that I was listening and watching that were predicting what it was predicting those things already didn't come to fruition. It's just, it's different. And didn't I say that not to pat myself? It's never what you think it's going to be.

A (74:45)

No.

B (74:45)

That doesn't mean it's not going to be life changing and a shift in the world. I'm sure. But it's always surprising. It's always surprising.

A (74:53)

And I think like the whole thing of, you know, I think we often go, man, if things keep going down this road, it's going to get monstrous. And that is true. But we know that like we know that in our deepest DNA that you can't just have more and more and more and more and more down one path. And I think even on, I think it is mostly unconsciously we tend to kind of self correct. Yeah. And I don't think we ever find someone balance.

B (75:25)

Someone unplugs from the Matrix and goes like this isn't, this isn't humanity.

A (75:30)

Yeah.

B (75:30)

And liberates everyone.

A (75:32)

Right. And then I, I, I, I do think that often results in over correcting. So I'm not saying that we find perfect balance but it just seems like it is never what we think because we're all, you know, we're, we're, it's the slippery slope sort of argument where it's like if people, if men can marry men, then soon people are going to be Marrying their dogs. And you're just like, this isn't. That's not actually how things tend to work.

B (76:00)

That's right. And because it's always surprising, too. That even applies there. It's not what your dumb fucking first guess is.

A (76:06)

Yeah, okay.

B (76:08)

I'm an Amish guy. You're staying in my house. I put you in the bedroom. There's a candle. And then I go. The password for the WI fi is because it's a secret, but it's just S H, h, h, h, h. It's a dumb joke to close. Listen, thanks for being here. It was cute, Valerie.

A (76:30)

Oh, all right.

B (76:31)

It feels too abrupt. Yeah, I feel good.

A (76:33)

Yep. Feel good.

B (76:34)

Thomas. Joke was fine.

A (76:36)

It was fine.

B (76:37)

It was fine. What are these Stomp guys going to be doing? Also, how many calories is it? Performance of stompburn.

A (76:43)

I mean, just. Just so many. I. I did. I did make also the point that I wish that they would just put on tap shoes and tap dance, because I feel like I could watch good tap dancing for hours and hours. But then my friend Lisa was like, yeah, but this was 30 years ago. They probably didn't do that because that's what most of the musicals and plays were.

B (77:05)

Oh, yeah.

A (77:06)

And then.

B (77:06)

And they were trying to revolutionize and redefine it for a new generation. But they are tricking you into liking tap dancing. That's for sure.

A (77:12)

I mean, who doesn't like tap dancing? But also, who doesn't think that they also could tap dance? Probably.

B (77:18)

Yeah.

A (77:18)

Give me the shoes.

B (77:19)

I'm like 30% there.

A (77:20)

And I think it's, like, the hardest kind of dancing I've heard.

B (77:23)

Mother Nature tap dance. I've slept in a barn with a tin roof when it rains.

A (77:27)

I also said to you at one point, because one of the guys was, like, doing tiny, little fast stomps.

B (77:34)

Yeah. And, like, pounding harder than it looks.

A (77:37)

Yeah. And I was like, this is one of those things that. That is more impressive than it looks, which is not what you want. You want, like, ballet where you're like, this looks easy, but it. Wait, no, that's the same.

B (77:49)

Yeah, I know what you mean.

A (77:50)

You know what I mean? You're like, make it look harder than it actually is.

B (77:54)

Well, the ultimate way to enjoy stomp is if they brought you on stage one by one and said, try to. Try to step it this fast. And then you did it. And then they were like, I'll show you. And then they did it. And you'd be like, holy. Like you're crying blood, cuz you did it for two seconds.

A (78:09)

Yeah, exactly.

B (78:10)

Right. Now we can say bye.

A (78:11)

All right, everybody, thanks for listening, and keep it crispy.