Transcript

Valerie (0:00)

You made it weird. You made it weird. You made it weird. Oh, yeah.

Pete Holmes (0:06)

You made it weird. Yes, you did. It made it weird. You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

Valerie (0:15)

What's happening, weirdos?

Pete Holmes (0:16)

What's happening?

Valerie (0:17)

We got a food one for you there.

Pete Holmes (0:19)

Oh, yeah. Have a. Have a peach, Andy.

Valerie (0:21)

Have a peach hand, brother. Have a peach, Andy.

Pete Holmes (0:24)

You're gonna watch James and the giant peach brother. Have a peach, Andy.

Valerie (0:27)

That's something I said to Pete once. The. The longtime listeners of the podcast will remember.

Pete Holmes (0:33)

I loved it. I love this episode. You didn't seem convinced that it's one of the all time best ones.

Valerie (0:39)

I don't know. I just think you throw that around so often. You say that every time.

Pete Holmes (0:44)

My favorite bit is losing the newest bit. Yeah. But I think this one is great. And we went into it, it's rainy and we're kind of like. And I was like, maybe it's going to be a gh. And it never is. It's always a delight to talk with you.

Valerie (0:56)

Yeah, same. Love it.

Pete Holmes (0:57)

Love it.

Valerie (0:58)

We talk. It's very. It's very America, actually. We talk about food and we talk about the Super Bowl.

Pete Holmes (1:03)

Yeah, I was at the Super Bowl.

Valerie (1:05)

Yeah.

Pete Holmes (1:05)

Spoiler.

Valerie (1:06)

It's the most you and I, I think, as individuals and together have ever talked about football.

Pete Holmes (1:11)

It was kind of fun. It was kind of. It was kind of fun because I learned something about the game and blah, blah, blah. Anyway, we're glad you're here. Go to peteholmes.com for my tour dates. Oh, yeah, Vancouver is kind of hurting. We added a second show and it's kind of half full, but you know. Yeah, let's go couve.

Summary

"We Made It Weird #206" — You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Date: February 14, 2025
Hosts: Pete Holmes & Valerie Chaney

Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Pete and Val riff on the weirdness of cravings, food obsessions, and the Super Bowl experience in New Orleans. The conversation winds through hilarious debates about fried foods, the psychology of eating pizza, America’s food culture, the spectacle of the Super Bowl (from commercials to half-time entertainment), and even dips into the subject of desire and self-control, all in their signature playful, meandering style.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fried Food, Onion Rings, and the Pursuit of Flavor

Timestamps: 06:30–26:40

Onion Rings Disappointment:
Pete and Val explore how onion rings never quite live up to the anticipation. Pete laments, “I've never had an onion ring that I was like, holy... Every time I eat an onion ring, I go, this is why french fry wipes the floor with your stupid...” (09:14).
The "Chicken Skin Theory":
The hosts craft a wild solution: what if the real secret is fried chicken skin? Frying foods in chicken skin instead of breading is what we all want, Pete argues:
“If I’m going to go real nasty, delicious, and cheat hard... what you actually want is covered in chicken skin.” (17:36)
Salt Retention:
Val breaks down why fried chicken hits different than other fried foods, noting, “It's the chicken skin that's salty.” (25:41)
Fried Foods "Should" Be:
The hosts reflect on how chefs know what we crave, but marketing messes it up:
“They're the original pharmaceutical industry. They're like, you want salt and fat, right?” (17:36)
Memorable Bit:
They fantasize about chicken fried Oreos as the next carnival food, deciding it’s weird but possibly genius.

2. Food Culture, Diet Coke, and Salt & Straw Ice Cream

Timestamps: 16:30–26:40

Diet Coke’s Cultural Power:
Pete riffs on how strongly Diet Coke is branded and muses on marketing sessions just for Diet Coke (16:33).
Exotic Ice Cream Flavors:
They lovingly roast Salt & Straw, likening their ice cream to “what Ninja Turtles do to pizza, they do to ice cream” (19:16), referencing their outlandish flavors like “chicken and waffles” with real fried chicken skin mixed in.

3. The Super Bowl Experience — From Halftime Hopes to Stadium Food

Timestamps: 43:40–56:09

Attending the Super Bowl:
Pete shares his surreal trip to the big game in New Orleans as part of a Chiefs-themed campaign, including delays, the energy at the game, and watching with Val’s brother Derek.
Halftime Show Speculation:
The stadium is abuzz with rumors. Pete and Val debate the best possible surprise guests: “This guy, for an entire year now, has had the most intense beef with Drake... That's a spectacle that's worthy of 100 million people watching is if he came out...” (57:20).
They joke that the halftime show is now produced for TV, not the live crowd: “the halftime show is for the cameras. They're not trying zero percent... It sounds bad, really.” (55:47)
Super Bowl Conspiracies:
Theories abound about the game being “thrown,” but Pete shares insights from a production contact on psychological tactics, such as last-minute player announcements to "mess" with the opposing team’s strategy (49:06–50:41).
Stadium Food Disappointment:
Pete rails against the lack of gourmet options: “I was ready for like a ramen place... but, no, cafeteria. You want chicken fingers?” (63:45)

4. Pizza as Food Desire Personified

Timestamps: 67:47–74:08

“Pizza is the most obvious food”:
Pete develops a bit with Derek about how eating pizza is pure, raw desire:
“Pizza is just... it's pure desire.” (69:15)
“You see someone eating salmon, you're like, oh, yeah, you kind of wanted the taste of the sea... You see someone eating pizza, it's just like, you were hungry, huh?” (68:59)
Pizza Math and Food Addiction:
Val gets real about "slice math" and how pizza sparks social anxiety about who gets the last slice: “God forbid, there’s like, one slice left... I’m getting now furious that no one else wants it, that they’re not obsessed about it like me.” (70:55)
The Impossible Last Slice:
They riff on the ritual of cutting the last slice in half and the self-perpetuating cycle of cheesy, salty, bready, craving.
Mindful Eating & Desire:
The conversation veers into how wanting—whether for pizza or sex—can be leaned into rather than immediately satiated, with Pete noting, “I've been meaning to bring up... lately... I just don't immediately satiate. So I allow myself to have a feeling that I'm not tending to, like a crying baby.” (74:38)

5. Desire, Dopamine, and Resisting Immediate Satisfaction

Timestamps: 74:09–78:38

Sitting with Hunger/Desire:
Pete and Val translate their pizza talk into a broader meditation on desire, sexual energy, and dopamine-seeking behaviors, comparing pizza, porn, and Instagram as immediate, fleeting gratifications.
Building Real Satisfaction:
“There's something about holding on to the human experience... There's huge Reddits about it, but there's lots of people talking about [how when you stop jacking it and looking at porn]... regular, basic bitch eroticism is back on the menu.” (77:25)

Notable Quotes & Moments

On Food Disappointments:
“Onion is gonna drop out after its first semester at this college.” – Pete (12:00)
On Chicken Skin:
“Chicken skin...that is like the goose down of salt. It will keep it in and hold it tight.” – Pete (26:07)
Ice Cream Comparison:
“What Ninja Turtles do to pizza, they do to ice cream.” – Pete (19:16)
On Stadium Food:
“When I was going, stadiums always looked like the backgrounds of Street Fighter levels. Like, it was concrete. There's piss and there's... everything's gray and it's... It looks like a parking garage. And the food sucks. And it's a thousand dollars.” – Pete (62:53)
On Pizza:
“It's just pure desire.” – Valerie (69:15)
On Not Satisfying Immediately:
“...I just don't immediately satiate. So I allow myself to have a feeling that I'm not tending to, like a crying baby.” – Pete (74:38)
Pop Culture Insight:
“Tom Selleck is a friendly Burt Reynolds.” – Valerie (30:12)

Timestamps for Key Segments

06:30 – Start of deep-dive into fried foods
16:33 – Diet Coke and marketing
18:57 – Salt & Straw and chicken & waffles ice cream discussion
26:40 – Onion rings and salt, “chicken skin” thesis
43:40 – Super Bowl campaign and experience
49:06 – The “throwing the game” conspiracy and real NFL strategy
55:47 – Halftime show spectacle for TV, not stadium
63:45 – Stadium food vs. expectations
67:47 – Philosophy of pizza and food cravings
74:09 – Desire, resisting gratification, and mindful enjoyment

Tone & Language

Conversational, playful, and irreverent
Rich in metaphors and food analogies
Honest about quirks, cravings, and "weirdness"
Frequent callbacks to running bits and mutual understanding between the hosts

Memorable Moments

Pete and Val inventing the “chicken skin” fried everything idea for foods that disappoint
Discussion of Rob Delaney’s rise via Twitter and the state of “X” (Twitter)
Val’s “pizza math” and slice anxiety confessional
Super Bowl halftime dreams of epic Kendrick-Drake drama
The comparison of pizza to sex and the open acknowledgement of food—and life—related weirdness

In a Nutshell

This episode is a hilarious, honest, and sometimes philosophical romp through American food cravings, the communal and primal nature of pizza, the spectacle (and reality) of the Super Bowl, and deeper questions of desire and self-control. Pete and Valerie's candid, loving dynamic shines as they bounce from fried pickles to halftime beef, always looping back to what it means to be “weird” together.

For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

You’ll miss Pete and Val’s infectious banter, their deep dive on why fried foods are never as good as we imagine (unless there’s chicken skin involved), a behind-the-scenes look at the Super Bowl, and reflections on the everyday challenge of wanting—food, sex, attention—and what it means to actually sit with those cravings. The episode is both funny and relatable, blending pop culture, comedy, and heartfelt realness in classic "We Made It Weird" fashion.