Podcast Summary: "We Made It Weird #208" (Pete Holmes & Valerie Chaney)
You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Date: February 28, 2025
Episode Overview
This episode is a Friday bonus edition of “We Made It Weird,” featuring comedian Pete Holmes and his wife, Valerie Chaney, in a lively, candid conversation. It’s also Valerie’s birthday, which serves as a loose theme and touchpoint for their updates, reflections, and playful tangents. The discussion weaves together classic "weird" humor, pop culture riffs, relationship insights, stories about recent personal and creative experiences, and honest explorations of emotional and psychological ups and downs—all delivered with their signature warmth and banter.
Main Themes
- Embracing Authentic Weirdness & Playfulness
- Reflections on Growth, Mental Health, and Creativity
- Navigating Setbacks and Refinding Momentum
- The Healing Power of Connection and Creativity
- Living in Rhythm With Life’s Seasons and Energy Shifts
- Vulnerability and Family Dynamics
Key Highlights & Discussion Points
1. Birthday Vibes & Podcast Beginnings
[00:17–01:11]
- Pete celebrates Valerie’s birthday, promising a “classic” episode: “A lot of laughs, a lot of inspiration, a lot of connection, a lot of life. And I’m really glad you’re here and thank you. And happy birthday, Valerie.” — Pete [00:40]
- Quick plug for Pete’s “PG13 Tour”—noting that it’s “mostly clean, not boring … you could do any of these jokes on network TV for the most part, but it’s still hot takes. Exciting stuff.” [01:33–02:13]
2. Jumping In: The Art of Storytelling and Relationship Dynamics
[07:14–12:37]
- Pete and Val discuss people who tell stories out of anything, referencing the movie Greenberg.
- They compare and contrast characters in films to their own dynamic (“I’m a lava lamp” — Pete [12:37]; “You sure are, and you know I love it, too…” — Valerie [12:38]), highlighting Pete’s aversion to being a “steady Eddie.”
- Humor emerges as they riff on impressions of “stiff” people and the joy of being interesting rather than merely steady.
“I’m a lava lamp.” — Pete [12:37]
“You sure are. And you know I love it, too.” — Valerie [12:38]
3. 90s Nostalgia, Music Riffs, and Banter
[13:04–19:02]
- Extended, silly riffing about the Goo Goo Dolls, Rob Thomas, and 90s song lyrics.
- Musings on Nick Cage and celebrity impressions, underscoring the couple’s love for absurd, freeform comedy.
4. What Makes a Good Podcast—and the Value of Coziness
[19:02–21:11]
- Valerie shares her preferred “beach nap” vibe for the podcast: “You hear your friends talking… You’re interested in what they’re saying, but you don’t have to do any of the effort. You’re just enjoying.” [19:09]
- Comparison to podcast styles, citing Rick Glassman’s high-energy, high-effort format versus their own “turkey sandwich” (comfortable, classic) style.
“That’s exactly right… with a Rick Glassman pod, it’s because I’ve had a pot of black coffee.” — Pete [20:03]
5. Brain Fog, Getting Sick, and Surrendering to Life’s Seasons
[22:27–25:30]
-
Valerie recounts recent illness and the heavy brain fog that accompanied it, leading to deep feelings of disconnection and anxiety: “My therapist will say… you have depressed life force; it’s not this big scary thing.” [25:00]
-
Pete and Val talk about how our brains play tricks when energy is low, making it feel like you’ve always been stuck, never been happy, etc.
-
The importance of recognizing and not casting harmful “spells” with your own language/self-talk (“When I’m anxious, I go, oh, this is the real me… No, that’s just familiar.” — Pete [34:09])
6. Emotional Cycles, Family Patterns, and Therapy Insights
[37:32–44:28]
- Pete gets honest about family relationships, especially the “manipulation game” he experienced growing up, and how it can distort real vulnerability and reciprocity.
- Discussion about the futility—and emotional toll—of trying to “fix” a parent’s mood as a child (“Seven year old children don’t fix grown up problems with a song and dance in a silly voice.” — Pete [42:32])
- Validation for listeners who grew up with similar dynamics, and an embrace of internal family systems therapy as a way of healing (“I respect you and I am grateful to you.” — Pete [47:14])
“Everyone is in charge of their own feelings… Protector seven year old children don’t fix grownup problems.” — Pete [42:26–42:32]
7. Restoring Creative Mojo: The Energizing Power of Making Things
[54:19–63:39]
- Pete shares recovering from a creative slump after pitching a show and getting “a couple no’s.” He credits a recent joyful day of shooting homemade ads with friends as the turning point that “gave me life.” [56:36]
- Metaphor about momentum and creativity—sometimes to get your groove back, “you just need to get one [win] under your belt.” [55:23]
- Valerie relates this to her own journey with a short film; they agree that the process of creation itself, not just outcomes or recognition, is “holy.”
- Pete: “Making something feels so good. That’s what I forgot… when you haven’t made something in a while, when you haven’t taken a chance, you forget how to be happy.” [61:16–61:18]
“It felt like waking up… what are you, nuts? You have a great idea. You should make that. Making some ads for Modern Mammals made me remember I love making things. I snapped out of it. It was like smelling salt.” — Pete [58:33–59:15]
“Creativity is like your spiritual practice… the energy for everything… I hope every single one of those [short film] experiences were like my experience, because the more people are plugging into this… we’d all do better.” — Valerie [62:27–64:17]
8. Birthday Celebration & Healing Rituals
[68:25–71:32]
- Pete describes their birthday trip to a secret hot spring, reinforcing the importance of giving experiences (“I was pretty bent on not getting you a thing for your birthday. I think it’s dumb—an experience.” — Pete [70:00])
- They reflect on the ritual of letting go of old hurts and “soaking it in” at the volcanic waters.
- Tender notes on love and gratitude: “Everyone who sees you loves you… you are the queen of my heart.” — Pete [68:34]
Notable Quotes
-
On Life Cycles:
“Sometimes you’re just in a closed place and you just need to remind yourself that it’s not forever.” — Pete [25:57] -
On Creativity:
“While we’re here, we can either go with the flow of life and take our rightful place as a part of nature, which is inherently creative, or we forget who we are and we stifle that and we wonder why we’re depressed and nothing satisfies us.” — Valerie [63:16] -
On Family Patterns:
“If you did appear to change your parents mood, that was just a fluke. It wasn’t actually you. It was something else.” — Pete [42:19] -
On Vulnerability:
“I want to show my vulnerability, and even with pride, I’ll say my weakness. That’s like, a soft spot for me.” — Pete [60:02] -
On Partnership:
“You are the queen of our hearts. Certainly the queen of my heart.” — Pete [68:34]
Timestamps for Significant Segments
- [01:33] — Pete discusses the origins and vibe of his new PG13 Tour.
- [07:14] — Actual episode content kicks off (post-ads): diving into storytelling, “Greenberg” reference.
- [19:09] — Valerie describes her vision for the podcast’s tone—“the beach nap friend group.”
- [22:27] — Illness, brain fog, and the reality of “depressed life force.”
- [34:09] — Self-talk as “spells” we cast on ourselves.
- [42:26–42:32] — Family healing: “Protector seven year olds don’t fix grown up problems.”
- [54:19] — Pete’s story: shooting ads, rediscovering creative mojo.
- [61:16] — The importance of making something to restore happiness.
- [63:16] — Valerie connects creativity to “the flow of the universe.”
- [70:00] — Description of their hot springs birthday experience.
Tone and Takeaways
The episode is, as promised, a classic “We Made It Weird”—a blend of honest vulnerability, off-the-cuff hilarity, and wisdom from two creative partners navigating real life. They intertwine pop culture silliness with emotional and philosophical insights, making space for healing, creativity, and self-acceptance.
Listeners come away reminded that life moves in cycles, connection and creation are vital, and even the weirdest moments hold potential for healing and joy.