We Made It Weird #214 - You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Transcript

Pete Holmes (0:00)

You made it with. You made it with. You made it with. Oh, yeah. You made it with. Yes, you made it weird. You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

Valerie (0:15)

What's happening, weirdos?

Pete Holmes (0:16)

What's happening, weirdos? The second half of this podcast is so heavy that we mentioned that. Oh, now we have to do the intro and this is that intro.

Valerie (0:26)

This is that intro. It gets. It gets really special. It's. It's sort of like an extra special episode.

Pete Holmes (0:34)

Yeah, I agree. Because not. We don't normally deal with these things, like, so fresh in real. In real, real time.

Valerie (0:40)

And because it takes extra courage to do that.

Pete Holmes (0:43)

So classic. We made it weird. If you guys haven't listened to this, these are the bonus episodes where me and Val catch up and in. In the classic way. First half of the episode, lot of riffing. Silly Billy, silly Billies, silly. Second half, a little more of a deep dive into internal family systems and therapy and really, I think, important conversations.

Valerie (1:05)

Yeah.

Pete Holmes (1:06)

So we're glad you're here. My tour dates are on peteholmes.com I'm coming to Austin if you. Oh, no, this. If you hear this the day it comes out tomorrow, I'm in Austin, so I hope you can come to the show. Petehomes.com and we just added a second show in Boston. That's all I'll say. All my tour dates are on peteholmes.com and this show is brought to you by sponsors that we actually use and actually love. So please, if you like this show, it's a great, direct way to support it. Try one of these wonderful things. Katie, roll that beautiful bean footage. This episode is brought to us by our friends at Apollo Neuro. That's what this is. You probably see me wearing this little piece of wearable technology in every episode of this podcast because I never take my Apollo off. That's not entire true. My daughter recently took my Apollo off and she lost it. And I didn't have it for three days. And I couldn't believe what a difference I noticed in my life. My sleep took a nosedive. I was waking up in the night. My anxiety, my calmness, my overall sense of well being. It's true. Apollo sends sub perceptual meaning. You can have it on a very low setting, which is what I do. Vibrations directly into your nervous system, speaking to your body in its own language, in a language that it can understand. That makes it feel safe, held and in control. And what I mean when I say it's true, it's true that it works. This is not Woo woo. This is made by a board certified psychiatrist and a I want to get this right. A neuroscientist. Got to get the right kind of science in there. Apollo Neuro is a wearable that helps your body recover from stress by sending those vibrations into your nervous system. Helping you sleep, focus, relax and be more productive. It's worn on the wrist like me or the ankle like Val. Apollo Neuro is like finding the fuse box for your body with the emotions, with settings like energy and wake up, social and open, clear and focused joy, rebuild and recover, Calm, unwind and fall asleep. As I mentioned, I turn it on to fall asleep, but then it automatically reruns the program while I'm asleep to keep me asleep. It's a chemical free sleep aid. It is incredible. It is a game changer. And Apollo's effects on stress, sleep, cognitive performance and recovery has been proven in multiple clinical trials and real world studies. And you can get $40 off@apollowneuro.com weird and use promo code weird that's a L L O N E R O dot com weird. Use promo code weird for $40 off. Also, this show is sponsored by Better Help. Let's talk numbers. Traditional in person therapy can cost anywhere from 100, the copy says to 250. Ha ha. Try 350 in L A. What are you nuts? Goes way up beyond that and that adds up fast. But with BetterHelp online therapy, you can save on average up to 50% per session. With BetterHelp, you play, you pay a flat fee for weekly sessions, saving you big on cost and time. Therapy. We're big believers in therapy on the show. Obviously it should feel accessible, not like a luxury luxury. And with online therapy, you can get quality care at a price that makes sense and can help you with anything from anxiety, boundaries, relationships and everyday stress. Believe me, your mental health is worth it. And now it's within reach. Therapy is the greater than the sum of its parts. It has helped me so dramatically set up healthy boundaries with my family, get out of toxic relationships, friendships, work situations. It is a game changer. So give yourself the gift of therapy. It couldn't be easier with BetterHelp. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. And it's convenient. You can join a session with the click of the of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life. Plus you can switch therapists at any time. Your well being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com weirdo. Today to get 10 off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com weirdo. All right, everybody, we're glad you're here.

Summary

Podcast Summary: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes – Episode #214

Release Date: April 18, 2025

In the 214th episode of "You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes," host Pete Holmes and co-host Valerie delve deep into personal reflections, emotional healing, and the complexities of family relationships. Moving beyond their typical comedic banter, this episode offers a profound exploration of vulnerability, trauma, and the journey toward self-acceptance.

1. Setting the Tone: A Shift Towards Depth ([05:17] - [07:00])

The episode begins with Pete and Valerie acknowledging that this installment is "extra special" and demands more courage than their usual light-hearted discussions. Valerie remarks, "It's sort of like an extra special episode." Pete concurs, emphasizing the rarity of their candid conversations about heavy topics in real-time.

2. Navigating Intellectual Interests and Emotional Responses ([07:00] - [23:00])

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Pete's introspection triggered by listening to Malcolm Gladwell's "Revisionist History" podcast. Pete shares his frustration: "If you're not interested in this, you're not intelligent. You're not like..." This sentiment opens up a dialogue about the pressures of intellectual conformity and the emotional turmoil it can cause.

Valerie adds her perspective, expressing disdain for the expectation to find every topic fascinating: "I'm smart and I fucking don't give a shit about any of this." Together, they critique the sometimes pretentious nature of intellectual discourse and its impact on personal well-being.

3. Personal Anecdotes: Kumail's Adorable Mishaps ([23:00] - [31:00])

Shifting gears, Pete and Valerie reminisce about their friend Kumail's endearing attempts at playing video games. Pete narrates, "He pushes the jump button because the guy isn't moving. It looks like a guy struggling with the equipment." These lighthearted stories serve as a contrast to the episode's deeper themes, highlighting the importance of friendship and shared humor in navigating life's challenges.

4. Confronting Family Dynamics and Personal Healing ([31:00] - [45:00])

The conversation takes a poignant turn as Pete discusses his experiences with familial relationships, particularly focusing on his movie project and its reception by his parents. He reveals a moment of vulnerability: "When you told me that it was really, really helpful. It's very, We Made It Weird. It's like talking about healing trauma doesn't mean you stop hurting."

Valerie further elaborates on this theme, emphasizing the shame often associated with experiencing and expressing deep emotions. She shares, "There's the shame around having the feeling." Together, they explore the concept that healing is not about the elimination of pain but about learning to live with and understand it.

5. Insights from Hillary McBride's "Holy Hurt" ([38:00] - [47:00])

Valerie introduces a profound quote from Hillary McBride's new book, Holy Hurt, which states: "Healing is the ability to attend to whatever is hurting, to turn toward where the injuries are, and patiently, with courage and clarity, let them be loved, and eventually to love them ourselves." This serves as a cornerstone for their discussion on religious trauma and the broader implications of healing emotional wounds.

Pete reflects on his own journey, sharing how recreation and creative endeavors like his movie have been avenues for connecting with his family despite underlying tensions. He admits, "I was devastated. Heartbroken." However, through open dialogue and shared experiences, he finds a pathway to mutual understanding and acceptance.

6. Embracing Vulnerability and Community Support ([47:00] - [60:00])

The hosts emphasize the importance of vulnerability in fostering genuine connections. Valerie encourages listeners to share their own experiences of healing, highlighting the strength found in communal support: "This is what we're here for is like the solidarity of like, this is really Hard."

Pete adds, "Brokenness sounds judgmental. This tenderness really makes you need people." They advocate for embracing one's brokenness as a step toward authentic living, underscoring that true healing stems from acknowledging and sharing one's pain.

7. Closing Reflections: Strength in Authenticity ([60:00] - End)

As the episode concludes, Pete and Valerie reflect on the courage it takes to be open about personal struggles. Pete quips humorously, "You guys can't see this, but I'm sitting on a severed dragon head," bringing the conversation back to their signature blend of humor and depth.

Valerie reinforces the episode's main message, stating, "This was really powerful and beautiful," reminding listeners that embracing one's vulnerabilities not only aids personal healing but also strengthens communal bonds.

Notable Quotes:

Valerie ([00:15]): "What's happening, weirdos?"
Pete Holmes ([05:22]): "Welcome to We Made It Weird, where we get really wacky and wild here in Weirdville."
Hillary McBride Quote ([38:46]): "Healing is the ability to attend to whatever is hurting, to turn toward where the injuries are, and patiently, with courage and clarity, let them be loved, and eventually to love them ourselves."
Pete Holmes ([51:17]): "Distance plus desire equals delusion."

Conclusion

Episode #214 of "You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes" stands out as a heartfelt journey into the intricacies of personal and familial healing. Through candid conversations, shared vulnerabilities, and insightful reflections, Pete and Valerie offer listeners a roadmap to understanding and embracing their own emotional landscapes. This episode not only entertains but also provides solace and solidarity for those navigating similar paths of healing and self-discovery.