Podcast Summary: "We Made It Weird #216"

Podcast: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Hosts: Pete Holmes and Valerie
Episode Date: May 2, 2025

Overview

In this lively and heartfelt episode, Pete Holmes and his wife Valerie riff on the quirks of everyday life, the creative process, relationship weirdness, and the ongoing journey of self-acceptance. The pair share stories about artistic struggles, moments of personal awkwardness, and offer both comedic and genuine insights into what it means to be “seen” – by yourself, your family, and your audience. They also touch on themes of creativity, childhood wounds, letting go of past expectations, and pop culture in parenting.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Mystery Song, Bits in Relationships, and Writing for Movies

[01:24 - 08:11]

• Pete and Val open discussing a classical melody stuck in their heads, playfully attempting to identify it by singing and joking about their inability to Google the answer.
• Pete shares about trying to capture genuine "couple bits" for a movie script and how difficult it is to intentionally write organic, endearing relationship moments.
• Notable insight into the creative process: letting memories and ideas percolate rather than forcing them. Pete explains his method:
  “I put it in my brain, and then I walk away... And then one day in the car, I go, oh, that's great.” – Pete [07:28]
• They poke fun at the gap between scripted and real-life chemistry:
  “A script is just going like, no, that happened. Let’s recreate it.” – Pete [04:00]

2. AI, Creativity, and Real Life Awkwardness

[08:12 - 15:33]

• Pete relates a socially awkward moment where he blanked in a conversation, admitted “who cares?” and walked away, reflecting on how such moments would be viewed endearingly in a movie ("Lemon Head").
• Val talks about the joy of “real-time nostalgia” for Pete’s weirdness, even when it’s socially awkward in the moment.
• The pair muse about the power of cinema to make us root for odd, quirky characters just because the camera lingers.
• Pete wonders how AI might impact creativity, expressing that human creative “gestation” is often slow but organic, compared to AI’s potential for rapid content generation.

3. The Cycles of Creativity, Mojo, and Self-Care

[17:08 - 32:08]

• Both discuss Pete’s periodic feeling that he’s lost his mojo, and how habits like smoking weed and binge-watching AI videos might dampen his creative “juice.”
• Val assumes a “weather keeper” role in their relationship, recognizing and gently cautioning Pete about repeating unhelpful cycles.
• Val draws a metaphor comparing managing Pete’s moods to chasing tornadoes like Helen Hunt in Twister.
  “...Wanted to be like Helen Hunt, just, like, wildly in a tank top chasing tornadoes. And that’s essentially what being married to you is.” – Val [15:19]
• They reflect on creativity’s seasons—knowing when to push versus when to rest, and accepting flow (or lack thereof):
  “Both holding and folding are the same decision to just, like, be with what is.” – Pete [22:41]

4. Stand-Up, Accepting Your Shadow, and Tour Revamp

[26:14 - 36:06]

• Pete shares about changing the tour name from “PG13 Tour” to “Pete Here Now Tour” after realizing he wasn’t being true to himself or performing at his authentic best within PG-13 restrictions.
  “Don’t name the album before you’ve written all the songs.” – Pete [26:17]
• They dig into the core value of his comedy: modeling radical vulnerability and shadow-acceptance for audiences.
  “To limit that to, like—well, actually, I can’t show that much of my shadow, I can only show the PG13... That’s specifically the wound that you doing stand up is addressing.” – Val [29:41]
• Talk about family dynamics and how the desire to be “toned down” links to childhood wounds, but Pete ultimately recommits to full authenticity on stage.

5. The Drive to Create—Parental Acceptance, Letting Go, and Creative Realignment

[39:29 - 49:09]

• Pete reflects on how much of his work has been an attempt to be seen and accepted by his parents, and how truly letting go of that hope feels like a grief process—but one that opens creative space for something new.
• Val offers the episode’s most inspiring riff:
  “Your natural state is creative... the natural state of the entire universe is creative. Literally. That’s how we got here... whatever’s thrown in, whatever materials you’re given, even if it’s shards of glass, you’ll make something beautiful.” – Val [46:05]

6. Movie Talk: Arcs, Consequences, and Shifts in Modern Storytelling

[54:01 - 64:54]

• The duo review their experience watching the action film Amateur, expressing disappointment at the main character’s lack of growth and the recent cinematic trend of protagonist “no arc.”
• They mourn the shift away from real consequences, attention spans, and dramatic payoff in movies and TV, comparing modern films to older works where actions had stakes (e.g., “Honey I Shrunk the Kids”’ ant scene).
• Pete points out, “We watch those movies as metaphors... John Wick is shooting every doubt, insecurity, and unworthiness.” [58:55]
• Val observes, “Creativity is about clearing space and clearing the channel...” [49:09], linking well with the previous discussion on creative blockages and clearing childhood wounds.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Social Awkwardness:
  “I’m a mutant in a hotel lobby, going, ‘Who cares?’ and walking away.” – Pete [09:10]
• On True Partnership:
  “Even in the moment, maybe when you’re being specifically socially awkward... I’m sorry, that’s the one I want to be with. Just this weirdo.” – Val [11:22]
• On Creative Allowance:
  “To know when to surrender to—like, this is just the season of the moment. And allow it.” – Val [22:12]
• On Artistic Honesty:
  “Take out the ax. Do everything. And also stand-up is so hard—do be the funniest you you can be and the most authentic you you can be.” – Pete [27:23]
• On Healing & Creation:
  “You can get rid of the shards of glass, they’re cutting up your hands, baby girl. Just get rid of it and create. You were born, born, born, born to create, create, create.” – Val [47:18]
• On Parental Approval:
  “If I make enough noise, if I’m shiny enough, if I’m special enough... my parents will turn and I’ll see, like, a trance leave their face, and they’ll be there and they’ll go, ‘It was you all along.’” – Pete [43:15]

Pop Culture/Listener Community

• Many references to recent movies (Amateur, Hitman) and reflections on how storytelling has changed.
• Valerie shares updates from listeners who resonated with Pete’s candid discussions on family dynamics, offering a moment of community solidarity.

Important Timestamps

• 00:47 – 04:58: Tour news, the mystery classical song, and using real-life bits in writing
• 08:12 – 11:10: Pete’s awkward social encounter and thoughts on movie character likability
• 15:19: Val’s "married to a tornado chaser" metaphor
• 21:45: The cycles of creative “mojo” (rest vs. effort)
• 26:14: Realization about the “PG13 Tour” not fitting Pete’s comedy style
• 34:09: Acceptance that every comedian has a different value (Nate Bargatze vs. Pete’s vulnerability)
• 39:29 – 41:14: Letting go of the hope that parental approval will come
• 46:05: Val’s manifesto on natural creativity
• 54:01 – 63:11: Pop culture discussions—movie arcs, storytelling, and real consequences in films
• 65:07 – End: Listener community acknowledgment and closing thoughts

Tone & Language

• Playful, self-deprecating, often silly (classic Pete and Val banter)
• Deeply honest, vulnerable, especially around creativity and family
• Insightful but unpretentious, modeling “real time nostalgia” and radical acceptance

Final Notes

This episode embodies the best of the "We Made It Weird" style: intimate, funny, sometimes meandering but always circling back to self-exploration and how comedy (and life) is a process of showing your true, awkward, and creative self. Pete and Val explore giving up old wounds as the fuel for art, and celebrate the creative freedom that honest, shadow-accepting comedy brings. There’s comfort here for listeners wrestling with identity, approval, and creativity—and a lot of laughs along the way.

Keep it crispy!