Transcript

A (0:00)

You made it with. You made it with.

B (0:03)

You made it with. Oh, yeah, you made it with. Yes, you did. You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

A (0:15)

What's happening, weirdos? What? Was that a weird one?

B (0:19)

No, what I liked. Felt a little frosted glass. What?

A (0:25)

What's happening, weirdos?

B (0:27)

Like. Like you're. Like, you have an ear infection and you can't quite hear your own pitch.

A (0:31)

What's happening, weirdos?

B (0:33)

Yeah, that's.

A (0:33)

I know, but I like to do it different. I like to mix it up. No, Now I feel insecure.

B (0:39)

What's happening, weirdos?

A (0:41)

What's happening, weirdos?

B (0:42)

Like how Paul Simon every once in a while is flat on purpose. And I know I make that example. I use that example a lot.

A (0:49)

I know, and I'm not. Have you heard him say that?

B (0:53)

No.

A (0:54)

Yeah. I think you're making that up.

B (0:55)

Making flat.

A (0:57)

It's out of you and me.

B (0:58)

Yeah. It's not that he's flat. He's. There's something kind of jazz trumpet about him. He'll be kind of like. Yeah, like a little.

A (1:04)

Yeah. I don't.

B (1:05)

He's not just being, like, pristine.

A (1:06)

Yeah.

B (1:07)

He's being very human. We're glad you're here. I love this episode.

A (1:11)

This episode's a little, like, towards the end, it's like inside. Inside Baseball. I don't want to say that.

Summary

Podcast Summary: "We Made It Weird #227"

Podcast: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Episode: We Made It Weird #227
Date: September 20, 2025
Hosts: Pete Holmes & Valerie

Overview

This episode is a classic blend of comedic riffing and honest conversation between Pete Holmes and Valerie. The duo explores the nature of "secret weirdness," riffing on pop culture, American identity, creative struggle, and the quirks of relationships. The episode seamlessly transitions from playful nonsense into meaningful insights about what it means to be a creative person in a world that's often more impressed by networking and business savvy than by art or kindness. The energy is loose, genuine, and filled with affectionate teasing.

Episode Breakdown

1. Riffing on Pop Culture and Musicality (00:15–08:56)

Pete and Valerie kick off with their trademark energetic greeting, playfully debating how Pete delivers his intro.
They muse about how artists (like Paul Simon) sometimes purposefully sing flat to add "humanity," likening it to their own love of mixing things up for the audience.
"Like how Paul Simon every once in a while is flat on purpose." – Valerie (00:42)
Digression into the difference between parody made by fans and those made more for commercial reasons:
- Criticism of Spaceballs: Not enough love for Star Wars.
- Praise for the Family Guy Star Wars specials: "It's because Seth MacFarlane and Seth Green and all the Seths love Star Wars so much." – Pete (03:47)
Nostalgia and generational humor surface when discussing Spinal Tap, notably how younger generations always saw hair metal as a joke.

2. Harmonicas, Sound of Music Nazis, and Riffing on Movie Tropes (09:00–18:04)

Discussion of “turning it on” as performers, and what it means to have a ‘showperson adjacent’ personality.
Bit about the harmonica’s deceptive simplicity; riffing that it’s harder than it looks, and jokes about harmonicas in prison.
Pete and Valerie lampoon movie tropes, touching on Forrest Gump ("run, Forrest, run"), the expectation for movie protagonists to be good at something, and the Western ideal of the functional, skillful hero.
"If he just tried harder. That was just the approach [in my house]." – Pete (15:15)
The Big Lebowski and the appeal of “chilling out,” likening the character to a modern cowboy, and discussing what makes a hero identifiable in American culture.

3. Kissing Cousins, American Culture, and Food Factories (18:05–34:09)

The concept of “kissing cousins,” leading to a humorous analysis of how Americans form familial bonds beyond actual blood relation.
Pete shares a patriotic moment, joking about American innovations: “God damn it. We make roller coasters for fun.”
Extended riff on factory-produced foods, specifically the making of Snickers (“the nougat alone looked like God’s ideas”). Both hosts get silly with the fantasy of how much they adore the sight of nougat and peanut butter.
"I want it to fill me up like caulk…I want it to enter me in a new kind of way." – Pete (21:44)
Anecdote about Jerry Seinfeld’s private bathroom while performing – likened to wanting a private entrance for nougat into your body.

4. Capitalism, Winners, and the Myth of Meritocracy (34:10–41:53)

Pete critiques the American tendency to let successful people and corporations “get away with innumerable crimes” because of their status (“We are the Air Bud…If the dog can catch the football, put it in the game.” – Pete, 35:42).
Valerie points out it's not really about winning but about addiction to products ("They've gotten us addicted to whatever their product is." – Valerie, 34:50).
Discussion of Trump and the mythos of "the winner" in American culture, connecting it to the Hunger Games and the allure of being pulled out of poverty.
Playful speculation about presidents’ authenticity, from Carter to Reagan.

5. Cops, Cousin Math, and Genealogy (41:54–47:28)

Quick aside about the Cops TV show and commentary on law enforcement's portrayal on TV.
Valerie recounts a family conversation about what “kissing cousins” really means, reflecting on family trees and how complicated genealogy terms are.
"My brain can't hold boring information…I'm allergic to boring information." – Valerie (41:53)
Concludes that by the time you get to second or third cousins, “inbreeding that the Royal family does is absolutely acceptable.”

6. Human Animal Nature, American Cleanliness, and Avoidance (47:29–55:02)

Pete expands on the “ick” factor associated with reproduction and genealogy ("we are this species, and it keeps like…it's so yuck and we don't look at it").
Valerie connects this “ick” to America’s sanitized consumer culture (cellophaned food, movies that gloss over birth and death, etc.).
Giving birth as an act of letting go of civility and embracing animal instincts (“let the monkey do it”), using her own birth story as an example.
Shows the contrast between American ideals of progress and the primal nature – "That's why Doritos is the most American thing, is that it's like, let's get this so far from food…" – Valerie (49:58)
Dialogue about embracing versus denying our animal natures, both culturally and personally.

7. Creativity, Collaboration, and Navigating the Professional World (55:03–66:38)

Pete and Valerie compare their creative personalities, referencing Enneagram types: Pete as a "3" (Achiever/American type), Valerie as a "9" (Peacemaker/pre-industrial, tribal life).
They discuss the tension between wanting a quiet, nurturing domestic life and the drive to achieve in the public sphere.
Insightful talk about creative work vs. self-promotion or networking. Pete: "The strengths of a creative person aren't always aligned with the strengths of someone who can, like, write emails and network and all this fucking business bullshit." (01:19)
Valerie admits to struggling with the “business” side, wanting a producer for her life, finding it hard to advocate for herself (“I have had this thought where I’m like, well, I’m a nine, and I’m a Pisces and I’m a hobbit…” – Valerie, 58:57).
Pete explains the need for artists to be their own “fluffer,” to keep their creative spirit alive while waiting for external validation (“The only way to keep your boner is to touch it yourself. That’s the perfect metaphor.” – Pete, 57:29).
They debate styles of following up and advocating in a career, and how much personality affects that process.

Notable Quotes & Moments

"Like how Paul Simon every once in a while is flat on purpose." – Valerie (00:42)
“Spaceballs…it’s not made by a fan of Star Wars. If I may, my Batman videos are made by someone who loves and is obsessed…” – Pete (03:01)
"The nougat alone looked like God’s ideas." – Pete (21:39)
“I want it to enter me in a new kind of way.” – Pete (21:52)
“If the dog can catch the football, put it in the game.” [on American exceptionalism] – Pete (35:42)
“My brain can’t hold boring information. I’m allergic to boring information.” – Valerie (41:53)
“Sex is obviously glorified and sensationalized, but…all of it is pretty yuck.” – Pete (48:22)
“Let the monkey do it.” [on childbirth] – Valerie (52:18)
“You have to make things happen for yourself for so long before anybody invites you to do anything.” – Valerie (61:39)
“The only way to keep your boner is to touch it yourself.” [on self-motivation] – Pete (57:29)

Important Timestamps

00:15: Intro banter, discussing musicality & Paul Simon
03:01: Spaceballs vs. Family Guy Star Wars Phan-dom
13:03: Harmonica banter, Bob Dylan, and playing music badly
21:39: Obsessing over Snickers nougat in food factories
34:09: On winners, American mythos, and corporate crime
41:53: Valerie’s rant about cousin math & inbreeding
48:22: Broaching the “yuck” of being an animal species
52:18: Valerie’s birth story, embracing animal instinct
57:29: Self-motivation as a creative (“keep your boner alive”)
61:39: On creative strengths vs. business/social strengths

Tone and Style

Warm, irreverent, and deeply self-aware
Oscillates between absurdist jokes and heartfelt vulnerability
Genuine domestic banter and honest conversations about marriage, ambition, and anxiety
Frequent affectionate teasing and open discussion around the challenges of being both artists and “ordinary people”

Final Thoughts

This episode is a great example of the chemistry between Pete Holmes and Valerie: two creative people digging into the nitty-gritty of everyday weirdness, relationships, and what it takes to thrive creatively. The blend of silly riffs, confessional honesty, and philosophical exploration make it valuable not just for laughs but for anyone navigating creative work and modern existence.

“Keep it crispy.” – Pete Holmes (69:27)