Podcast Summary: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes – "We Made It Weird #230"

Date: October 24, 2025
Host: Pete Holmes
Co-host: Valerie

Overview

In episode 230 of the "We Made It Weird" Friday series, Pete Holmes and his wife, Valerie, offer a candid and humorous catch-up conversation that dives deep into themes of family dynamics, the changing nature of work, movie recommendations, introspection, and embracing one’s weirdness. With their signature blend of absurdity and philosophy, they explore vulnerability, parenting, pop culture, and the value of full-spectrum emotional experience.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Musings and Obligations

• The show kicks off with playful riffing about the podcast’s purpose—making time each week for honest conversations.

• Pete reflects on how having this recurring conversation is both an "obligation" and a privilege ([03:08]).

  “If there is a thesis to this podcast, it’s that we like having this self-imposed—not obligation, but this recurring...”
  — Pete ([03:08])

2. Chicken, Jerk Chicken, and AI Tangents

• The duo riff on the name "jerk chicken," veering into a comedy bit about food names and masturbation, then quickly spiral into future speculations about how technology might handle controversies ([03:23]-[04:16]).

• Pete launches into an analogy about AI and the mechanization of brain vs. muscle, comparing AI to the Industrial Revolution ([07:19]).

  “The Industrial Revolution was the mechanization of muscle. And the AI revolution is the mechanization of brain.”
  — Pete ([07:27])

• Both joke about how conversations universally seem to lead back to AI, but keep it light and self-aware.

3. Marvel Movie Fatigue and Cinema Spoilers

• Pete shares his Marvel burnout, despite being a former superfan, and pokes fun at spoiler culture—particularly around the new Thunderbolts/New Avengers movie and Harrison Ford as Red Hulk ([11:18]-[12:13]).
• Valerie comments on the changing landscape of spoiler anxiety and how the Marvel universe has gotten so vast that giving spoilers seems less relevant.

4. Depth Behind Blockbusters and Therapy Connections

• Pete unexpectedly finds the Thunderbolts / New Avengers movie emotionally moving, linking its themes to therapy and the integration of the shadow self ([14:04]-[18:26]).

• Both discuss the importance of movies that encourage kids to face their shame and embrace their whole selves.

  “You have to incorporate your shadow. You have to face it. And… the new Thunderbolts, starring Marva Plumpton, is Pixar level good when it comes to, like, you have to incorporate your shadow.”
  — Pete ([18:18])

5. Rites of Passage, Puberty Stories, and Casablanca

• The hosts reminisce about childhood rites of passage (bar/bat mitzvahs, first wet dreams), comparing them to outdated cultural markers ([19:11]-[22:09]).

• They muse about "bloody pouch envy" and Freud chicken—a typical stretch of Holmes-ian wordplay and candor about growing up.

• Casablanca comes up as Valerie’s airplane movie—a "rite of passage" for cinephiles ([24:44]-[32:01]). They analyze why the film resonates more with age and experience, acknowledging how life’s emotional weight makes classic films more impactful.

  “You need to have a life experience to enjoy a movie that comes to you. I think you do.”
  — Pete ([29:08])

6. On K-Pop Demon Hunters, Blockbusters for Kids, and Shame

• Valerie shares enthusiasm for "K Pop Demon Hunters" as a new touchstone film for kids, applauding its incorporation of shadow/self-acceptance and top-tier music ([32:18]-[34:40]).
• Pete suggests this film is a rare new blockbuster with real heart and message.

7. The Future of Work and Human Connection

• Pete offers an optimistic take on how AI could allow future generations to step away from lifetimes of "grinding" labor, potentially freeing people for deeper connection and creative pursuits ([35:13]-[37:53]).

• They compare this anticipated shift to how people now look back in disbelief at dangerous, unpleasant work of previous eras.

  “I think Leela’s children will look at our time and be like, ‘I can’t believe they used to work.’”
  — Pete ([36:06])

8. The Uniqueness of Human Content

• As AI threatens to "optimize" podcasts and entertainment, they argue there’ll always be a place for the flawed, deeply human, sometimes gross (and weird) podcasts like theirs ([38:30]-[39:00]).

  “Maybe you want this one. Maybe you want the one with all these farts in the elevator. Just like something deeply human.”
  — Pete ([38:30])

9. Skeet Ulrich, The Joy of Collaboration, and the Human Drive to Create

• Pete is starstruck by Skeet Ulrich on a film set, exploring his feelings about why he (Pete) is drawn to acting and comedy—not for art’s sake necessarily, but for the chance to love, collaborate, and connect with others ([43:17]-[49:05]).
• Valerie asserts the primal human need to gather around shared goals is what makes life meaningful.
• Pete ties it into his own introversion, and the contradictory pull between connection and solitude.

10. Family, Parenting, and Emotional Challenge

• They admit the emotional complexities of Pete’s intermittent absence from home for film work, and how it’s affecting their daughter, Leela ([54:49]-[59:20]).

• Both process guilt, sadness, and growth from these separations, emphasizing practices learned from therapy like naming and tolerating difficult feelings rather than dismissing or redirecting them.

  “What are you unwilling to feel?... I feel really sad that I… and I’m going away again.”
  — Pete ([59:20])

• Valerie notes how everyone in the family, including kids, must develop tolerance for each other’s discomfort.

  “Our family needs these moments to practice distress tolerance for each other, for each other’s distress.”
  — Valerie ([68:00])

11. Relationship Conflict and Handling Big Feelings

• They discuss managing relationship friction and emotions post-reunion, advocating for pausing, self-reflection, and non-hurtful communication rather than venting every negative thought ([61:40]-[63:47]).
• Valerie and Pete share how they intentionally avoid saying things they can't take back, instead naming stories internally and then, when regulated, acknowledging them as just passing thoughts or feelings.
• They reflect on old patterns from their family of origin and how they show up in moments of stress.

12. Embracing the Fullness of Life

• The show ends with Pete reading Shel Silverstein’s poem “The Land of Happy,” celebrating the necessity of ALL feelings—not just happiness—as fundamental to a rich life ([71:56]-[73:17]).

  “You don’t want to be happy all day. You want life… is all the feelings.”
  — Pete ([73:17])

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• [03:08] Pete:
  "If there is a thesis to this podcast, it's that we like having this self-imposed… not obligation, but this recurring…"
• [07:27] Pete:
  "The Industrial Revolution was the mechanization of muscle. And the AI revolution is the mechanization of brain."
• [18:18] Pete:
  "You have to incorporate your shadow… the new Thunderbolts, starring Marva Plumpton, is Pixar level good when it comes to… incorporating your shadow."
• [29:08] Pete:
  "You need to have a life experience to enjoy a movie that comes to you. I think you do."
• [36:06] Pete:
  "I think Leela’s children will look at our time and be like, ‘I can’t believe they used to work.’"
• [38:30] Pete:
  "Maybe you want this one. Maybe you want the one with all these… farts in the elevator. Just like something deeply human."
• [68:00] Valerie:
  "Our family needs these moments to practice distress tolerance for each other, for each other’s distress."
• [73:17] Pete (to Leela):
  "You don’t want to be happy all day. You want life… is all the feelings."

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Self-imposed Obligations and Podcast Purpose: [03:08]
• Jerk Chicken & AI Riffs: [03:23]-[04:44], [07:19]
• Marvel Movie Fatigue/Spoilers: [11:18]-[12:13]
• Thunderbolts/New Avengers & Therapy: [14:04]-[18:26]
• Puberty Stories & Rites of Passage: [19:11]-[22:09]
• Casablanca & Classic Films: [24:44]-[32:01]
• K Pop Demon Hunters Praise: [32:18]-[34:40]
• The Optimistic AI Future & Work: [35:13]-[37:53]
• The Value of Human Podcasts: [38:30]-[39:00]
• Skeet Ulrich & Collaboration in Film: [43:17]-[49:05]
• Parenting, Family Emotional Life: [54:49]-[59:20]
• Handling Emotions in Relationship: [61:40]-[63:47]
• Shel Silverstein Poem & Final Thoughts: [71:56]-[73:17]

Takeaways

• Pete and Valerie embrace “weirdness” as a badge of humanity, encouraging vulnerability, humor, and honest examination of life with all its messiness.
• The episode weaves together pop culture, parenting, philosophy, and relationship wisdom to highlight how important it is for individuals, families, and societies to accept all feelings and find meaning in connection and creativity.
• While AI and technology may change how we live and work, Pete and Valerie believe there’s enduring value in what is distinctly, imperfectly human.

Recommended By Pete & Valerie

• Films: Thunderbolts / New Avengers, Casablanca, K Pop Demon Hunters
• TV: The Chair Company, Valley Heat

Closing

They end with the reminder that life is not meant to be happy all the time—a podcast, like a life, is richer, deeper, and more rewarding when it holds space for the full range of human experience.

"Life is all the feelings."