We Made It Weird #231

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Episode: We Made It Weird #231
Date: October 31, 2025
Hosts: Pete Holmes, Valerie (his wife)

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Overview: Main Theme & Purpose

This episode is a classic "We Made It Weird" bonus edition, featuring Pete and his wife Valerie having a free-flowing, deeply conversational catch-up about stand-up comedy, relationship quirks, contemporary culture, creativity, parenthood, and the meaning of inspiration. The mood is playful, honest, and often meta as the couple riffs about everything from deli meat thickness to the experience of being moved by film in an era of endless digital novelty. They also celebrate their wedding anniversary, sharing lighthearted details about their day.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Embracing “Weirdness” and the Nature of These Episodes

• Pete and Valerie delight in the loose, unscripted nature of their episodes together, likening it to the difference between a polished comedy special and the "nitty gritty" of working stuff out in clubs.
  • "This is just so—it's like a comfortable shoe...I hope it is for everybody listening." (02:18, Pete)

2. The Secret Sauce of Great Comedy: Observational Bits

• They discuss what makes an observational stand-up bit really stand out, sharing memorable routines by Steve Byrne (flat tires, mac & cheese) and Hal Sparks (the terror of a plastic bag in the road).
  • Valerie: "That's the most extraordinary, like, treasure for a stand up—is when you can have...an ordinary thing that we all know, but no one said." (06:53)
• The joy of landing on an everyday truth nobody has articulated is characterized as a 'treasure hunt' for comedians.

3. Deli Counter Neuroses & Character Insights

• Valerie confesses she always wants the "thinnest" deli turkey slice but is too shy to ask, worried it's extra work. Pete spins this into a character study, underscoring how our small anxieties are “gold” for storytelling.
  • Valerie: "I always want the thinnest, but I never ask for it because it seems like that's more work." (13:50)
  • Pete: "...if you get a real clear snapshot of who you are when you're writing and developing a character, I mean, that's just gold." (14:26)

4. Reflections on Generational Shifts and Technology

• The pair meditates on generational changes in knowledge (like how to fix a flat tire) and the dissolution of traditional roles through the rise of Google and AI.
  • Pete: "How dads of, like, boomer generation lament the internet. Because that used to be their golden—you'd call that dad, and he'd walk you through it, like dismantling a bomb...he would feel purpose that would resonate for weeks." (10:45)

5. Comic Riff Chains (Classic Pete & Val Play)

• Pete and Valerie derail into a playful nerd-out about etymology and classic trick questions (“What’s heavier: 100 lbs of feathers or 100 lbs of bowling balls?”).
• They also repeatedly call themselves out for going on tangents, which becomes meta-comedy—embracing the chaos as “We Made It Weird.”

6. Creative Influence & The Embarrassment of Creativity

• Valerie and Pete preview next week’s upcoming guest (filmmaker Kazik Radwanski), leading to an earnest dialogue about the vulnerability and potential embarrassment of being a creative person, supporting partners, and the urge both to seek community and avoid “cringe” in self-promotion.
  • Pete: "The creative process, the creative life is embarrassing. What the pros do is they've just numbed that, and they're used to it." (33:42)
  • This section also covers being influenced by others and feeling the tension between imitation and inspiration.

7. Generational Humor, Memes, and Online Culture

• Pete contextualizes Gen Z meme culture, specifically referencing the "6, 7" meme as evidence that youth culture is increasingly about embracing the arbitrary for communal fun.
  • Pete: "It's fun showing the arbitrary, pointless—but what's key is it's fun...you just built a little community. Whoops. That's your church." (29:53)

8. AI & Postmodernism: Surplus Content and Numbness

• Discussion of Sora (OpenAI’s video generation platform), the overwhelming “slop” of AI-generated content, and the environmental/psychological consequences of always-on media.
  • Valerie: "It's only going to get more like that with AI..." (47:54)
• They lampoon how hard it is to be impressed now, even by amazing feats (Oz Perlman, the mentalist guessing PINs), as over-exposure breeds numbness.

9. Anniversary Reflections and “Cupcake Years”

• Pete and Valerie share their spontaneous, no-fuss anniversary—a testament to finding joy in unplanned, simple celebration with their daughter Leela and relishing the “cupcake years” of parenting.
  • Valerie: "That just feels like we're—it's like she's lost three teeth, she's riding her bike, we're doing family bike rides...she's learning lines to be in Peter Pan and she's just, like, so fun." (52:46)

10. The Power of Art—Celebrating Movies and Emotional Awe

• The episode crescendos with an in-depth conversation about why going to the movies (specifically Paul Thomas Anderson's latest, One Battle After Another) still feels transcendent—even in an age of digital distractions and infinite online content.
  • Pete: "A movie is like you—you fucking sit there and shut the fuck up. And you watched...And in the hands of somebody gifted and generous and talented, you gave them that onus over your consciousness and you were better for it." (70:58)
  • They unpack the unmatchable “flow” of great filmmaking and how it makes real life shimmer with new light after the credits roll.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Creative Courage

  • Pete: "The creative process, the creative life is embarrassing. What the pros do is they've just numbed that, and they're used to it." (33:42)

• On AI Numbness

  • Valerie: "It's impossible to impress us now." (43:29)
  • Pete: "That don't impress me much." (43:35; referencing Shania Twain)

• On Art’s Magic

  • Pete: “Human beings are fucking dope...watching this, I was like, human beings are fucking dope.” (67:14)
  • Valerie: "It's reminding us that there's inspiration everywhere." (70:53)

• On Postmodern Irony

  • Valerie: “…in the simpler, the simplest way...I think the modern is like whatever. Postmodern I feel like is like nothing matters.” (40:26)
  • Pete and Valerie riff on Dickens’ and Warhol’s place in history as “postmodern” with tongue-in-cheek sincerity (approx 38:00–41:00).

• On Family Life

  • Valerie: "The cupcake years. And so we had to...drink the cupcake years." (52:58)
  • Pete: "I'm this close to buying a new car based on that riff." (55:54)

• On the Parental Gaze of The Wonder Years

  • Pete: "My mom looked at me in a way that said: it's okay, kid." (54:43)
  • Valerie: "The Wonder Years—more like wonder if dad's coming home tonight." (56:02)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:41-03:54 – Opening banter, episode philosophy, and tour plug.
• 06:04-09:33 – Comedy bits about mac & cheese/standup treasure.
• 13:24-15:16 – Deli anxiety and everyday character quirks.
• 20:17-24:48 – AI, voice impressions, and riffing on generational jokes.
• 25:14-33:42 – Creativity, embarrassment, and upcoming creative projects.
• 29:53-30:53 – Gen Z memes and community-building via cultural nonsense.
• 41:16-44:28 – Being impossible to impress/why live events still matter.
• 51:06-52:58 – Anniversary, “cupcake years,” and appreciation for simple joys.
• 62:26-70:58 – Deep dive on Paul Thomas Anderson’s film, the power of art, and the awe of in-person experience.

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Tone & Language

Throughout, the tone is wry, open-hearted, sometimes self-deprecating, and earnestly curious (often with off-the-cuff meta-commentary). Valerie brings grounded reflection, while Pete’s tangential energy keeps things lively and unpredictable.

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Conclusion

Whether they’re discussing the philosophy of “thin” deli slices, the existential anxiety of comedic originality, or why a great film can snap you out of digital fatigue, Pete and Valerie make a compelling case for embracing the weird, staying open to embarrassment, and taking the time to let great art (and great conversation) overtake your experience—even if just for a couple of hours.

Key takeaway: In a sea of endless novelty, real connection—through creativity, love, or just a really well-observed joke—still matters.

Transcript

[Pete Holmes]

Lemonada. Yes. You, dear, made it weird. You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

[Valerie]

What's happening here?

[Pete Holmes]

We're laughing because the ending of this episode is the greatest ending of all times, of all time. And I just, you know, on a whim, we both silently decided to have that be it. We're like, let's really do it. Yeah.

[Valerie]

Yeah. We just. Fully committed. You'll get. You'll. You'll get it, but you have to listen to it all the way. You have to listen to it all the way to get the treasure, which.

[Pete Holmes]

Is kind of what we were talking about.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Allowing not just podcasts, but everything. A book you're reading, a movie you're watching. If you allow it to sort of overtake your experience in the hands of a good thing, it's worth it. And so many times we're disillusioned. You watch something and I have a line in my act right now where I go, you ever been 10 episodes into something and the twist is it isn't good? And that is a feeling. We're all familiar with. This podcast, I don't think will let you down. I'm just going to say it.

[Valerie]

I don't think it'll let you down at all.

[Pete Holmes]

I think you're going to light a candle, turn off the lights, lock the door. What?

[Valerie]

Yeah. This is timing out perfectly.

[Pete Holmes]

Perfecto. This is. We made it weird. Val and I or me and Val.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

Peter and Val. Val and Pete. Who cares? We sit down and. And we catch up and it's the bonus episodes. And frankly, they're my fave.

[Valerie]

Okay, you're flirting with me.

[Pete Holmes]

We're doing this documentary and. And about. It's like, called the. Well, it's called Kill youl Darlings. And it's about the bits that I cut in making the special. The Wednesday episodes are like the special. It's like filming a special, but there's. There's a polish to it and a tightness and in watching, because there's all this footage of me doing stand up in clubs, and it's like loose and fun and experimental and I'm like, oh, my God, this is my favorite. Yeah, that's this.

[Valerie]

That's this. That's true. It's the Nitty Gritty.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the Nitty Gritty, which I'm obsessed with. And. And I love the guest episodes too, obviously. But, like, this is just so. It's like a comfortable shoe. And I hope it is for everybody listening. And we're glad you're here. I'm nervous about selling New York. I have no data. I don't. I'm not one of those performers that checks in and says, like, hey, how are we selling in New York? But it's a big venue. So if you live in the tri state area.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Go on November 14th, please, to town hall.

[Valerie]

I'll be there.

[Pete Holmes]

I'll be there. Well, I'll certainly be there. And you'll be there, sort of. And it's gonna be great. And I should be nervous about November 6th in Chicago at the Riviera Theater. This is just how I live. It's too much to think, oh, I'm doing this big theater in Chicago. I'm doing this big theater in New York. I'm New Jersey. Look at all these.

[Valerie]

They love me over there.

[Pete Holmes]

I know, but there's something about a comedy club. You have all these chances to see me and for some reason they fill up faster because people schedule. Yeah, it's November 14th, so cancel that dinner with Nana. And this Saturday I'm at Largo. And that's going to be awesome. It's me and Ryan Sickler, who I love, Mo Welch, Lara Bites and the milk carton kids.

[Valerie]

Great.

[Pete Holmes]

Go to PeteHomes.com for tickets to all of these. I'm also going to be in Pittsburgh, New Jersey, Milwaukee, Brea, San Francisco, Nice, North Carolina, South Carolina, Miami, Royal Oak, Michigan, Madison, Wisconsin and Denver, Colorado. All of those are on PeteHomes.com I know I always say this, but it's my favorite hour that I've ever done. But it's true. But it's true.

[Valerie]

It's true.

[Pete Holmes]

So I hope you can be there. Petehomes.com and the show is supported by things that we use and like. And then we do ads for them. And here come those ads.

[Valerie]

Hey there, it's Julia Louis Dreyfuss. I'm back with a new season of Wiser Than Me, the show where I sit down with remarkable older women and soak up their stories, their humor and their hard earned wisdom. Every conversation leaves me a little smarter and definitely more inspired. And yes, I'm still calling my 91 year old mom Judy to get her take on it all. Wiser Than Me from lemonade Media premieres November 12th. Wherever you get your podcasts.

[Pete Holmes]

It'S morning in New York. Hey, everybody, I'm Mandy Patinkin.

[Valerie]

And I'm Kathryn Grody. And we have a new podcast.

[Pete Holmes]

It's called don't listen to us. Many of you have asked for our advice. Tell me what is wrong with you people don't listen to us. Our take it or leave it advice show is out every Wednesday, premiering October 15th. A Lemonada Media original. All right, everybody, so glad you're here.

[Valerie]

Valerie, get into it. Does that sound dirty?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it does a little bit. I think I told you.

[Valerie]

Magic mind.

[Pete Holmes]

It's just my.

[Valerie]

Ooh, Magic mind. Get in my body and make me be smart.

[Pete Holmes]

Valerie.

[Valerie]

Make me be a smart and interesting girl.

[Pete Holmes]

Very good, good product placement. Also, Steve Byrne has a joke about how stirring Mac and cheese sounds like. Oh, my God, it sounds like sex.

[Valerie]

I know exactly what he means.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not specifically humping and pumping.

[Valerie]

No, no, no. It's blowing and sucking.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, it's.

[Valerie]

I know. I stir Mac and cheese so often.

[Pete Holmes]

You do that.

[Valerie]

I know exactly what he means.

[Pete Holmes]

I like it. Steve also has another bit. Steve Byrne by R N E Funny fella. Funny fella. Good man. He has a bit about when you have to pull over on the highway. Oh, it's about getting a flat tire. This is his bit, but he really outlined it. He's like, you always start, you hear like. And you're like, it's the road. It's probably the road. Isn't that great? I mean, like, he just beat us all to it.

[Valerie]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

Sometimes I get that feeling when I do a bit. I'm like. And I'm not putting that bit down. It's not that it's so amazing that you're pointing that out. It's that no one's done it yet.

[Valerie]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

It was really exciting.

[Valerie]

Well, that's the most extraordinary, like, treasure for a stand up is when you can have. How am I Observation about. Yeah. An ordinary thing that we all know. But no one said.

[Pete Holmes]

That's how I felt about God and versus nothing.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I was like, it's been our whole lives. Yeah. No, you're right. To stop me from going into that. Let's keep it light. I mean, I'm just saying that bit, that observation. I was very excited that I was like, how is nobody done even a joke about that?

[Valerie]

Yeah. But I. But also then when you add it to, like, mundane, everyday things that we've all experienced, I think that's really so, like.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

How Sparks has a bit about, like a bag in the. In the road and how, like, tear. It's been a long time.

[Pete Holmes]

Bag in the road.

[Valerie]

When there's a plastic bag in the road and how it's just terrifying. And you see the cars, like, ahead, you know, like with two cars ahead. One car ahead and you know, it's like coming for you. And he does, like, wild act out. So he's like, doing like.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't understand. So you're on the free. The perspective of this joke is you're in a car on the freeway.

[Valerie]

Yeah. And there's a plastic bag.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, now I understand because for some reason, I think because of the Steve Byrne joke that I was about to get to you pull over, and you're standing by the road.

[Valerie]

Oh, you were.

[Pete Holmes]

So I was standing by the road. You're on the freeway and there's a bag on the road.

[Valerie]

You were picturing, like, American Beauty.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, basically. Basically. And I was like, what is hellsparks? Just standing by freeways watching bags. But now I understand.

[Valerie]

The most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

[Pete Holmes]

It's coming to you. And his. His take is that you're worried about the bag.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Like, God, I'm not doing it justice.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, no.

[Valerie]

It's probably been 15 years since I've heard the bit.

[Pete Holmes]

Nobody's burdening you with doing this bit.

[Valerie]

But it is just like. It's like how terrifying a plastic bag and how like one plastic bag can. And then there's like the moment where you don't see it coming out. Like you' over it and you know it's under your car, but you know where.

[Pete Holmes]

That's very good.

[Valerie]

I'm sure it's slowly coming back to me.

[Pete Holmes]

That's very good.

[Valerie]

Just imagine that. But like, performed and funny and said all the right way.

[Pete Holmes]

I think you did it great. You did it in like a Valley Heat style, which is my favorite style.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So Steve Byrne talks about when you realize it really is flat and you have to pull over that. And this is one of those things where it's like, when it goes wrong, we call it a false premise. You know, like, the classic example I've heard used is that Dane Cook says, when you go in the bathroom, why is everything wet? I actually really like that bit.

[Valerie]

Yeah. I think that's.

[Pete Holmes]

Cause I think that's true.

[Valerie]

That is true.

[Pete Holmes]

I've heard it used. And maybe it was me. Maybe it was me. I might have done it. I did it. But it could have been me that thought that was a false premise. But I'm just trying to fit in and be cool. That's all it is. I'm just trying to fit in and be cool.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because he's right, Dane. I'm sorry. You're right. Often things in the bathroom are very, very wet.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then so anyway, so Steve Byrne pulls out, over, and then he goes. And then a tractor trailer goes by. Is that what you call him? 18 Wheeler? I guess. What do you call them?

[Valerie]

Two different things.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. I mean, an 18 Wheeler.

[Valerie]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

What's a tractor trailer?

[Valerie]

A trailer that a tractor's in.

[Pete Holmes]

And what's a cracker barrel? That's where a tractor trailer goes to you.

[Valerie]

Yeah. So good. And an 18 wheeler.

[Pete Holmes]

It's also where 18 wheelers go to eat and maybe sleep in the bathroom. Where do they sleep? In the. In the car? In the cab?

[Valerie]

Yeah, they sleep.

[Pete Holmes]

By the way, if you're driving a 6.18wheeler right now, respect. That's a lot of wheels and a lot of power.

[Valerie]

That's right.

[Pete Holmes]

And I salute you. Yeah, I salute you. So anyway, when you pull over to change your tire. And I'm sure he goes into how none of us know how to change.

[Valerie]

I know. None of us know.

[Pete Holmes]

None of us know how. How dads of, like, boomer generation lament the Internet.

[Valerie]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

Because that used to be their golden. You'd call that dad?

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And he'd walk you through it like. Like dismantling a bomb.

[Valerie]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

And he'd hang up and he'd feel a level of satisfaction and. What is the word for when you're needed? Like, I guess, belonging. Yeah, I like purpose.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

He would feel purpose that would resonate for weeks.

[Valerie]

And you would feel connected. You. Oh.

[Pete Holmes]

And you would know that you needed help and you got it from your dad.

[Valerie]

Dad.

[Pete Holmes]

Dad.

[Valerie]

Dad. Of all people.

[Pete Holmes]

Let me get your mother, dad.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Oh, let me get your mother.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, well, I'll let you go. Well, I'll let you go. That's the.

[Valerie]

Daddy, I want to talk to you.

[Pete Holmes]

I. I want to talk to you, Daddy.

[Valerie]

Well, I won't take up too much of your time.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I wasn't even going to bring up this, but, like, my parents are getting. My dad's sent me the sweetest thing today. A. I don't even want to read it. It's too vulnerable. But I. I sent him a. A wood. This is how. This is how I. Dad, you want to know how I.

[Valerie]

Dad? Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'll get to the 18 Wheeler thing.

[Valerie]

Oh, thank God.

[Pete Holmes]

You're the queen. You're the queen. No, I will say that AI can today make a podcast where a buffooning husband says, don't worry, I'll get back to the 18 Wheeler thing and the AI wife. What?

[Valerie]

Okay, go ahead, keep going.

[Pete Holmes]

We've already talked about how AI can.

[Valerie]

Make podcasts yes, yes, yes.

[Pete Holmes]

So I'm saying it can have the AI wife. Go, oh, thank God. I believe that.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But what I don't believe is this part. The sizzle. The wave has hit the beach. Now it's pulling back, and there's a sizzle where I say, you're remarkable. I can't. That's so funny. And then this AI aside.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm just saying.

[Valerie]

So AI can do what I do, but I can't do what you do. I got it.

[Pete Holmes]

Even that was just. You ever get turkey at the deli? And it's so thin, it's like Bible paper. Like, I'm gonna make a sandwich out of Bible paper. What is this? The Gospel According to Hormel? Valerie, when I started saying the gospel.

[Valerie]

According.

[Pete Holmes]

To know what I was gonna say, I panicked. I was like, the Gospel according. I think it was the tie in two when something Overworked employee. Oh, okay. But in my brain was like, Hormel. And I was like, thank you at the buzzer. The what is this? The Gospel According to Hor.

[Valerie]

Do you want to know something that I've never told anyone? And it's so me. You know that when you get. When you get, like, a, you know, deli turkey from the deli delicatessen. Yeah. Like, if you're getting it for the week, you can. I don't know if you know this, but you can, like, pick the thinness. It tells you, and it tells you, like, you know, the amount and how many sandwiches.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, really? I didn't know that.

[Valerie]

Yeah. And then it has, like, the terror.

[Pete Holmes]

Alert system for the deli.

[Valerie]

Yeah. And it has, like, thick, you know, thin. Very thin. The thin, like, whatever. And I always want the thinnest, but I never ask for it because it seems like that's more work. But it's just occurring to me that maybe it's not.

[Pete Holmes]

Maybe they like it.

[Valerie]

Like, I just feel very.

[Pete Holmes]

This is how I feel about all things that suck. I know maybe people.

[Valerie]

Maybe that's.

[Pete Holmes]

They like it.

[Valerie]

That's what they want. But, yeah, I get. I just get. I ask for something, like, the most middle, medium, average thing, because I'm like, I can't be.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I'll. I'll say what. You know what I always say in moments like this? Shaboopy. No, I'll say that, like, if you get a real clear snapshot of who you are when you're writing and developing a character, I mean, that's just gold.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Just golden. Like, she wants the thinnest, but she doesn't want the guy to push the very easy to push thing.

[Valerie]

It's just a setting.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it is a setting. It's probably more pushes. Probably. I'm trying to defend you.

[Valerie]

No, I appreciate it.

[Pete Holmes]

If you put it on turkey bible paper, he probably has to slice more of it to get the same weight. Yeah, right.

[Valerie]

Yeah. That's the thing.

[Pete Holmes]

That's how matter works. I'm pretty sure. Like. Yeah, it's just weight. It's like, what, heavier. A pound of feathers or a pound of golf balls? Yeah, yeah. It's not supposed to be golf balls. It's supposed to be bowling balls.

[Valerie]

Is it bowling balls?

[Pete Holmes]

What is. What's heavier? 100 pounds of feathers or 100 pounds of lead. That's not safe. Get this lead out of here.

[Valerie]

You think 100 pounds of bowling balls is safe?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah. Just sitting there benign.

[Valerie]

Are you picturing both of them being dropped from a building?

[Pete Holmes]

Because I am absolutely not.

[Valerie]

Because I.

[Pete Holmes]

No, they're on a scale. They're on like a 18 Wheeler scale.

[Valerie]

No, they've already measured, they've already weighed them. They're dropping them.

[Pete Holmes]

You're. You're adding to the classic. What's heavier? 100 pounds of feathers or 100 pounds of bowling ball.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Which would hit the ground first? A bowling ball or a feather.

[Valerie]

Right. In a bowling ball.

[Pete Holmes]

A bowling ball.

[Valerie]

But 100 pounds of feathers and 100 pounds of bowling balls, would they hit at the same time?

[Pete Holmes]

Yes, if they're bound.

[Valerie]

That's how I weigh anything. Is what, how, how long does it take for it to hit the floor if you drop it off of a building.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait, that's how you what, weigh anything? I was thinking about feathers. I think if they're loose feathers.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

They would be different because they need to be bound.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

If they're bad, this is a snooze. I. I bet science people are just so frustrated with us. Just kind of going around freewheeling.

[Valerie]

Oh.

[Pete Holmes]

Kind of being like something about a wind resistance. And they're just like. They see it like A Beautiful Mind.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

They see the arc and the wave and the blah and the shit and the fucking.

[Valerie]

And they want to explain it to you, but it'll put us all to sleep.

[Pete Holmes]

They also know it's gone. This is how I feel about non duality anyway.

[Valerie]

Yeah, it's true. And you're right about that.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I am right. You saw earlier in the podcast, I avoided a self indulgent once around the cul de sac of my greatest bit and do it. I Know, I did refer to it as my greatest bit, though, which was real barf. Anyway. Yeah, well, we were on deli paper. Deli, deli paper. Or Mel, I also wanted to say, hey, delicatessen. Fucking take it easy.

[Valerie]

Take it easy, Take it easy.

[Pete Holmes]

Delicatessen.

[Valerie]

Delicate. Ooh, a delicatessen.

[Pete Holmes]

We only deal in delicacies here. Yeah, you want a delicacy, go to the delicatessen. You want an apothecary, go to the apothecary.

[Valerie]

An apothecary.

[Pete Holmes]

You want an apothecary? Oh, I'm sorry. You want an apothecary? A moniker. The moniker of the person who works at the apothecary is an apothecary. Hormel.

[Valerie]

Hormel.

[Pete Holmes]

Hormel.

[Valerie]

All right, what's your 18 Wheeler thing?

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, that's one of the strands we have twisting in the wind. So we'll do that one. But I know there are others.

[Valerie]

My friend. Are twisting the strands and the strands. Barbara strands the strands, my friend.

[Pete Holmes]

The strands, my friend. That I told you that I had an idea for a sketch that I thought was brilliant, which is called First Drafts.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you just take great songs like let's take Blown in the Wind. And it would be something like that. Let's take a different song because I don't want to ruin it. But it would be like, let it rest. Let it rest. Just go with it. Go with it.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Whispering words of something about Mary. Should we bring the virgin mother into this?

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

The 18 wheeler goes by while you're changing your tire. And I loved this observation. It zips by and then you feel the wind. There's like a rest. It goes by.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I guess there was no wind.

[Valerie]

Yeah. It's so funny you have time to say, I guess there is no way.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, I guess there was no. Like, you get that leaf blower. Oh, I guess there was no. But it's delayed. And this again. Science would be. Yeah. Because critical mass. You know what I mean?

[Valerie]

Critical mass.

[Pete Holmes]

Critical mass.

[Valerie]

Critical weapons mass.

[Pete Holmes]

Critical, Massachusetts.

[Valerie]

Even that baseline wasn't sure about that.

[Pete Holmes]

Not a baseline. Not a baseline.

[Valerie]

What?

[Pete Holmes]

Not a baseline.

[Valerie]

What? A base slide.

[Pete Holmes]

Nice. I hated who I was when I said not a baseline.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Nobody liked it.

[Pete Holmes]

Hated who I was. So I watched. I re. Watched the last dance. Stop. Stop it. Stop your judgment.

[Valerie]

Third time, probably fifth. Who?

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm really trying. So the last dance. We're not going to talk about this for a long time.

[Valerie]

Thank God.

[Pete Holmes]

Thank God. But me going like, it's not a base line based. Who cares? I'm not even going to explain it.

[Valerie]

I understand what a baseline is.

[Pete Holmes]

We all know. Yeah, we all know. We hate this. So anyway, I'm watching. I've watched this Michael. Michael Jordan documentary. Michael documentary Jordan.

[Valerie]

That's his middle name.

[Pete Holmes]

So many times. But I've checked in with it at different stages of my life and I like watching it while I'm on the treadmill or something. Brag. Because it's very inspiring. It's this guy that's like, I just can't. I can't miss. I gotta keep going. I can't do his voice. I'm not gonna try. I kind of could, but I'm afraid it would kind of sound like Stanley from the Office and it would just be like, oh, I see. Yeah, I see old number 23 worked at Dunder Mifflin. Did he?

[Valerie]

I enjoy the tangy zelp. A miracle.

[Pete Holmes]

That's a great Michael Jordan. Not today, Dwight. Is that it?

[Valerie]

I can only do Jim's impression of.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, no, I know. Which is suffice it. This is Morgan Freeman.

[Valerie]

Why do you keep CC ing me on things that have nothing to do with me? I can't really.

[Pete Holmes]

Why do you keep CC ing me on. This is Morgan Freeman.

[Valerie]

Freeman.

[Pete Holmes]

Why does the Penguin continue to CC me on things that have nothing to do with me? That was very good. Because I had the headphones on.

[Valerie]

Morgan Freeman.

[Pete Holmes]

I can get into the subtlety. I could have a lucrative voiceover career.

[Valerie]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

AI couldn't already do it.

[Valerie]

I know. And a million other white men.

[Pete Holmes]

I know. White boys be loving doing a Morgan Freeman.

[Valerie]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

White boys be loving the feeling that you have like a pouch of pipe tobacco in the front of your vest pocket.

[Valerie]

Yeah. It's just a kind of man that you can never be. And you want to.

[Pete Holmes]

Yep. And we got to take that too. Yep, we got to take that too. A watch fob.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, you close it. It's quieter.

[Valerie]

Time to watch 60 Minutes.

[Pete Holmes]

I was thinking about sadness. No, that's the best joke.

[Valerie]

It's so stupid.

[Pete Holmes]

Please. A super cut of moments where you just blow my mind. Because he takes it out. I want you to appreciate too, that when he closes the COVID Yeah. Because that was the iPhone. The pocket watch was the original iPhone. And the case was that gold circle that you'd close on it.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because you need a case. Like, do you want Apple care for that watch?

[Valerie]

Do you want watch fob care?

[Pete Holmes]

Do you want fob care?

[Valerie]

Like, kids are like, my dad was just always staring at his watch.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm Dead.

[Valerie]

Can you be present with me?

[Pete Holmes]

Dad, stop looking at your. The watch fob not to baseline. You is. Is the chain, I think. Oh, who cares?

[Valerie]

Certainly not me.

[Pete Holmes]

I've hated who I've been this whole time. This whole episode. I've been like, what's going on? Something's wrong with aunt Diane here. Yeah, I'm so sorry.

[Valerie]

No, please.

[Pete Holmes]

But that is such a funny riff that the watch, the pocket watch was the original iPhone. Dad, we need you here. Closes it and you can kind of hear it, but the bit, oh, it's time to watch 60 Minutes. I love. Yeah, and I was just thinking about 60 Minutes. This was the most. And I don't even mean this in a bad way. Postmodern. We'll talk about Michael Jordan maybe or we won't. But Oz, Oz. Oz Perlman is the mentalist who is taking the Internet by storm. And he. Maybe you've seen him, maybe you haven't. But he goes on like live news programs and he'll get. He was on Joe Rogan. He'll like guess. And he says he's doing it through. I think it's the devil.

[Valerie]

Just kidding.

[Pete Holmes]

I think he's in cahoots with the devil. You know what the devil loves? Running hell and helping a magician guess pin numbers. So he's like poking Hitler with a. With a pitchfork. And then he's like, I'll be right back. 4, 1, 9, 7. I see you when you're dead. Because you know it's an unholy alliance. But he says he's using cues like you just looked up into the right. And he'll have people like pause. And he thinks certain body gestures are like mean certain things. I really believe when I say old Holmes as a magic lover will be doing a deep dive into the techniques he might be employing. So get ready, be pre board guys, because that's coming.

[Valerie]

It's time for pre boarders.

[Pete Holmes]

If your boarding pass has pre. You can be pre board with me explaining how I think. Well, sorry, how I Summarize how a YouTuber thinks owes promise might be doing it. So get pre boarded with that bullshit that's coming probably next week. Actually, before I forget, for next week we're having Kazak, the director. Kazak, what's his last name?

[Valerie]

Radwanski.

[Pete Holmes]

I've never known. So.

[Valerie]

And I'm not even sure we're saying it. Is it Kazi?

[Pete Holmes]

It's Kazak.

[Valerie]

It's Kazak.

[Pete Holmes]

I've heard it used.

[Valerie]

Kazak Radwanski.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, so he's an incredible filmmaker. I'm gonna get back to O's. Don't worry. And Michael Jordan. Don't worry. Everything's gonna be fine. You're gonna be pre board with all these topics. But for next week, we're having Kazak, this director, Canadian filmmaker. So I found out about him through Matt Johnson. Obviously, I'm obsessed with Matt Johnson. I think he's incredible. And he's in a movie called Matt and Mara, which you can watch now.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

In fact, I'm saying you should watch Matt Mara.

[Valerie]

So Matt and Mara Kazakh directed Matt.

[Pete Holmes]

And he's making these movies that are unlike anything you've seen.

[Valerie]

And the other one to death.

[Pete Holmes]

In a good way. Not in like the bird picks the rook and like it's playing chess and you're like, oh, great. It's like real.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

He captures these, like, real moments.

[Valerie]

It's the type of filmmaking where you're like, how did they do this?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

So we are just like tired of wondering that. And we're having him on us to find out how he.

[Pete Holmes]

And also Valerie as a filmmaker is very interesting.

[Valerie]

Okay. Well. Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

What's wrong with that? You don't think you're going to be open about how he's an influence of yours? You think you're going to make a movie that's similar in style?

[Valerie]

No. Okay. I'm glad we're talking about this.

[Pete Holmes]

And never be like, you know who really inspired me.

[Valerie]

No, that's not what inspired me.

[Pete Holmes]

Because guess what? We haven't even interviewed him yet and he's going to say, I didn't make it up. What I'm doing is Polish filmmaker. Oo long Von Dorkin, and nobody does it like ooblong. And then you. I am so lit up to encourage you to join the ranks of creatives that. That rip other people off.

[Valerie]

I know. And you're so lit up that you're not even listening to me say that. That wasn' the issue.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's time for the mid rolls. Have you ever wanted to get through a toll faster?

[Valerie]

Okay, so, yes. I want to say the other movie to check out is Ann at 13,000ft. So Matt and Mara and Ann at 13,000ft. And you should listen to those before watch. Or watch. Yeah. Before you listen to our episode with him. Because I bet we're going to talk a lot about them. Yeah. Explosives. Explosives. No. What my hesitance was. And why not get this on the podcast? Because I was going to tell you this in private.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Valerie]

But I think, wow.

[Pete Holmes]

And I look at You. And I'm like, wow.

[Valerie]

But I think this is interesting, is that you were like, you should do. You should interview him with me. Because I am trying to, you know, I'm in the very early stages of directing.

[Pete Holmes]

How many accolades did your first short film release?

[Valerie]

And, and, and I do love his style and I'm very interested in, like, trying to make things that are in that style that I don't mind. But I was gonna tell you, like, I don't want to interview him with. I. Here's what I don't want that feels really icky to me is like, you being like, I'm not gonna interview you podcast.

[Pete Holmes]

I know better than this.

[Valerie]

My wife loves your style. She's a filmmaker. She's a.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like when somebody comes up to me and goes, can I get a picture? My girlfriend's a big fan.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But no, no, no, no. I actually understand what you're saying because when I dated a comedian, I would try and get her on shows and stuff and I'd be like, you gotta check her out. She's so funny. That's douche chills. It's cringe. I hate it. All the cool things to say. It's six, seven. It's skibidi toilet. You don't know six' seven?

[Valerie]

No, I know it's a thing, but I don't know what it is.

[Pete Holmes]

No one knows what it is.

[Valerie]

No one knows what it is.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I'm kidding. But wasn't it fun when I was like, no one knows what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually think I just did that movie and younger people in the movie and they. I think they said I could be wrong because I don't really care. I think 6, 7 is kind of meaningless. It's like a meme that is. It's. It's memeness is the meme.

[Valerie]

It's just.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like, let's just say some shit.

[Valerie]

And so somebody was just like, we're doing six, seven now. And it really meant nothing.

[Pete Holmes]

I think I.

[Valerie]

That would be consistent with what I've seen. Because people are sort of like the posts that I've seen of it, they.

[Pete Holmes]

Have like, I don't think you can believe.

[Valerie]

Lose that. Say 6 and 7. And they're like shrugging like, what I think, I think.

[Pete Holmes]

And if that's what it is, what generation is that? Gen Z. Gen Z. I salute you.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because you're doing it correct.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's fun showing the arbitrary, pointless, but it. What's key is it's fun. It's not just arbitrary.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's taking arbitrary and sculpting it into something that you can all enjoy together. Which, guess what, suckas? You just built a little community. Whoops. That's your church.

[Valerie]

That's right.

[Pete Holmes]

That's your water cooler time. It's saying 6, 7 in the avatar of Logan Paul on the Sora app. I was on the Sora app for five seconds. And I. I know.

[Valerie]

You don't know what it is. What is it? How are you knowing all of these things all of a sudden? Did you just spend some time on Instagram, bro? Oh, no, don't say bro, bro. You just spent some time with the Gen Z. Er, bruv.

[Pete Holmes]

Can I say bruv?

[Valerie]

Yes, bruv. Bruv.

[Pete Holmes]

My friend Mac, who is sort of. We have Ken, who's our physician, Ken Bishop. You know, we reference him all the time.

[Valerie]

Okay. Who's Mac?

[Pete Holmes]

And Mac MacNeil is our tech support person. And Mac sent me an invite because Sora is invite only. And no disrespect to Mac. Thanks for the invite. It is. It is. Just.

[Valerie]

What is it?

[Pete Holmes]

Sora is open AI's video generation that's competing with. This is over. I hate this. Different AI companies have video generation software.

[Valerie]

Okay?

[Pete Holmes]

OpenAI, which, you know from ChatGPT, just came out with theirs, and it's very, very good. But then it. They're doing something different where they kind of have their own Instagram, which is called Sora. And when you talk about AI slop, this thing is like. You like slop. Here's all the slop in the world. You can't. It's only AI, so it's like scrolling. I did it for five minutes and I was like, I can't keep seeing ring cam footage of Logan Paul getting sucked into a tornado. It was nothing. Well, it's both a miracle and an environmental. We'll acknowledge that. I believe you got a message that was like, stop flippantly mentioning air. People are upset without talking about. Yes. The cost of data centers and water and all these things. I acknowledge that. I'm just saying. I took a peek under the devil's skirt, and, boy, was that bright red cooch a moistening. No, I hated every part of it. Anyway, where were we?

[Valerie]

I mean, something before Kazak Kazzak.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, yeah, Yeah. I just want you to know that is not the spirit in which I'm having kazak on.

[Valerie]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

0.0.0.

[Valerie]

Okay, great.

[Pete Holmes]

Any more than when I have Matt Johnson on Am I trying to learn how to be brilliant in the way he is.

[Valerie]

Just.

[Pete Holmes]

Just be around it. But also, this is the slightest. This creeps into our relationship once every six months. The slightest nudging of encouragement is like, just be in the room where it happens. Talk to the guy.

[Valerie]

Totally.

[Pete Holmes]

That sucked. I hate when I said talk to the guy because it sounded like you were my daughter. I'm just saying you belong. That's all I'm saying. That's the end.

[Valerie]

That's nice.

[Pete Holmes]

You belong. Talk to the. Yeah, that sucks. I said it again. Just talk. I sound like my dad being like, let's go in there, Peter. Look him in the eye, shake his hand and talk to him.

[Valerie]

But you know what?

[Pete Holmes]

I didn't get, like, who I am this whole episode.

[Valerie]

Yeah, it's a tricky thing because I do need you to do that. No, but it is embarrassing to have other people witness how much I need you to fluff my forehead.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's what I'm here. Now I can breathe a sigh of relief because I can take this on to myself. The creative process, the creative life is embarrassing. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's. I'm thrilled to bring this up. The whole thing is embarrassing. And what the pros do is they've just numbed that and they're used to it.

[Valerie]

Right. You're like, yeah, everybody's embarrassed but Donald.

[Pete Holmes]

Glover, when he plays a track for his friend. A track.

[Valerie]

A track that sucked.

[Pete Holmes]

That sucks so much. 1. Donald Glover plays a track for his friend. That was the worst I've become. There's. There was a hump like I passed through. You know when you leave a rental car place and you drive over the spikes? Yes, I've done that.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You can't.

[Valerie]

There's no turning back.

[Pete Holmes]

And there's no. I'm now so middle aged. I'm just creaking and cracking and saying, when Donald Glover plays a track.

[Valerie]

Oh, my God, I can't go back.

[Pete Holmes]

I'll severe tire damage.

[Valerie]

I know. We can't go back.

[Pete Holmes]

We're just gonna be.

[Valerie]

We're gonna.

[Pete Holmes]

You're not.

[Valerie]

I mean, I'm getting there.

[Pete Holmes]

This is you in 10. Well, ladies age faster. I'm just kidding. I wanted to take. I wanted to take.

[Valerie]

I mean. But married. Do you know the thing about how married men live longer and are healthier in general than single men and married women die faster and are unhealthier than single women?

[Pete Holmes]

Who wrote this?

[Valerie]

Betty Friedman.

[Pete Holmes]

Who wrote this? The Hormel Corporation. Who's Betty Friedman?

[Valerie]

She wrote the, like.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, the Oz Perlman thing. I want to say.

[Valerie]

Oh, yeah, she wrote God, why can't I think of it? It was like one of the first books in the 70s or the 60s.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, first of all, we transcend every category and every statistic 1. I'm a smoking Latino. No, I am a Latino man who smokes. I'm just kidding. And statistically, I. No, I'm just kidding. It's a weird medical data joke. I was gonna say. Let me finish the Oz Perelman thing, please. And then we'll go into the mids and don't skip the mids. I'm just kidding. You can skip em. You'll still hear enough. You'll hear, like, magic. Magic mind duck. Better focus, better feeling. You know what I mean?

[Valerie]

Yeah, totally.

[Pete Holmes]

Sometimes I skip an ad and I'm like, am I gonna join mailchimp? I know, because you get just enough to be mysterious.

[Valerie]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

If you listen to the ad, it would be. Who cares?

[Valerie]

Honestly?

[Pete Holmes]

But when you're like, mailchimp, here's what mailchimp five different ways.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

An inbox empty.

[Valerie]

Yeah. You're like, what better help hard times, holidays coming. You're like, oh, added.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. It makes it more compelling.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So go ahead and skip those ads, but if you want, legally, I have to say, don't skip them. Okay, listen, this is the most postmodern thing. And when people say postmodern, I think I'll speak for myself. It's usually just code for, like, something kind of intellectual. That's depressing. It's like, not to be all postmodern. It's like Dickensian, but for the 2012. Yeah, it's the other way. Yeah. Dickensian covers everything before and after 1930. We all know Charles Dickens. Charles Dickens, 1911 to 1919 to 19. Verma Dickens, 1790 to 8. No.

[Valerie]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, no. 18.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

18 seems like maybe 40.

[Valerie]

Turn of the century.

[Pete Holmes]

I think he died before the turn of the century. And they were reading no Industrial Revolution.

[Valerie]

When was that? 19 to 19.

[Pete Holmes]

Dickens lived. I'm gonna. We're gonna Google this afterwards, but Dick. Charles Dickens, the author.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Was born in 1893 and he died in 1942.

[Valerie]

I think that's great. I actually agree with that.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Valerie]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

93 and 1942. I wrote it down so we can.

[Valerie]

How long is of a life? Is that.

[Pete Holmes]

That's. That's a Dickensian 50 something. Okay. Charles Dickens.

[Valerie]

And then also I want you to. I want you to look up the Definition of postmodern. And read it. I know what it is.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God. Valerie. He was born in 1812 and died in 1870.

[Valerie]

You're right. He died before the turn of the century.

[Pete Holmes]

He died way before the turn of the century.

[Valerie]

But you know what?

[Pete Holmes]

I would say it wasn't the industrial revolution. I was totally wrong. Everybody was probably screaming at their radios. It was. It was like the factory revolution. It was like.

[Valerie]

Was the industrial.

[Pete Holmes]

No, the industrial. Sorry, we don't know anything. The industrial revolution is when, like, machines could, like, do things we couldn't do.

[Valerie]

Yeah, like dig big holes.

[Pete Holmes]

No, factories. Factories is so fudgeing. Old school. It's like. Like, what if we got a thousand children in here sewing?

[Valerie]

Ah, sure.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's what Dickens was like. Is that cool?

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

He probably was not chill on every other topic, though. Women, race relations. You know what I mean?

[Valerie]

Totally.

[Pete Holmes]

He did speak up for the orphans.

[Valerie]

He spoke up for the poor.

[Pete Holmes]

But I'm sure he was like, get this woman out of here. Like, I'm sure he's awful.

[Valerie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Just because everybody was. And now I'm gonna say post modern definition. It comes right up because people don't know.

[Valerie]

So just to. Before you read this, yours was intellectual, but kind of depressing.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I'm saying that's how people use it. Like, ironic means coincidental and strange. And what is the word? Queer. I'm not using it. I'm not using it in that way. That's what people mean when they say ironic. Yeah, Old school.

[Valerie]

Like bizarre.

[Pete Holmes]

Bizarre.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Coincidental. And postmodern is subsequent to or coming later than that, which is. Thank you. Piece of human shit. I just went to my car and there was a human shit on the sunroof. That's. That's what that was. I don't need the definition. This is a postmodern meaning. It just means modern. I guess we're done with this.

[Valerie]

No, no, no, no.

[Pete Holmes]

Modern was like 1990.

[Valerie]

No. Yeah. No, it's. It's like. You know what's so funny is that I was an English major and, like, studied the post modernists and, like, had a whole. Had, like, books and books on it. And my brother also was in the exact same English program and he could explain everything to you about it. And I remember nothing. Yeah, but in the simpler, the simplest way. It's like, you know, like, it's like. I think the modern is like whatever. Postmodern I feel like is like nothing matters.

[Pete Holmes]

Everything is like a German man smoking an unfiltered cigarette. And a. A black room. He's like, what were you expecting more?

[Valerie]

It's like breaking through all the categories and just being like, whatever. Who cares? That's my definition.

[Pete Holmes]

I think Andy Warhol might be postmodern.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like bursting out, which is a long time ago.

[Valerie]

Well, and even before that, there are postmodernists. I don't know. I'm getting confused. There's not enough magic mind in the world to make me remember my schooling.

[Pete Holmes]

When you're being foolish, don't mention the thought enhancing super drink.

[Valerie]

Yeah, there is probably enough magic mind in the world to make me remember.

[Pete Holmes]

My schooling, by the way. I'm kidding. Magic mind has failed you. And that's okay.

[Valerie]

But it was just because it was in a battle of like a decade of smoking weed. That happened after college.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, listen, we got to go to the mids. Okay, But I'm gonna finish this. Oz Perlman.

[Valerie]

Okay. Thank God.

[Pete Holmes]

I so. Oz Perlman. For real? For real. You can watch this, Will. Study body movements, whatever. I don't know what he's doing. And guess your pin number. And people are like, what the is happening? I saw him guess, like a NFL player. He said he stood up. He's in a crowd of 3, 4, 500 people. He's like, I had a poster in my bedroom and you'll never guess who it was of. And he goes, well, because he said that I'm guessing it wasn't a football player. And then he has her. He goes like, think of how many letters were in her name. And he's watching how long he pauses. What? So then he goes, it's six letters. And he's like, it is six letters. And he goes, it's Shania Twain. It was like that.

[Valerie]

What?

[Pete Holmes]

Nuts. It's nuts. So anyway, he's incredible. I'm not saying he's not incredible. You watch some of him with me.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then I go on YouTube.com and I'm like, there's a clip of him with Tom Brady. I don't care about sports people. I'm just saying, like, any more than I care about other people. I'm just saying, like. Like I was interested in the ospreyman of it. He guesses his password, and I'm like, do you want to watch this? It's like a four minute video.

[Valerie]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And then you said, the most postmodern thing I've ever heard in my life. You said, let me guess. He does it. I can't explain just how perfectly that is. 2020. I'm gonna call it 2026. Like 2025 into 2026 is what happens. It works.

[Valerie]

It works. Yeah. We're on to you.

[Pete Holmes]

Charles Dickens was like, I'm gonna put this match to this candle. It's 50, 50 if it's gonna take.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

We're like, oh, does the mentalist guess it? Like, we're over it.

[Valerie]

Yeah, we're over it. We've seen too much.

[Pete Holmes]

We watched too much Guy for Red Bull skate down a building, like a skyscraper, basically. And we're like, what it would. They posted it. Yeah, I guess he does it.

[Valerie]

Absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

And you're just like. And they did it. So they probably studied if it's possible to do.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, we're not. I remember in the 80s, they were like, evil Knievel is going to jump over these school buses. And you're like, it's probably like 80, 20. He dies.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Like we might be seeing someone die today.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Like, that is. We're just. It. It's impossible to impress us now.

[Pete Holmes]

That don't impress me much.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Shania Twain.

[Valerie]

Yeah. But I also think that that's why we still go to concerts. Like, we still go to Taylor Swift and Beyonce concerts. Even though we know it's going to be in theaters, we know it's going to be on Netflix. We're going to get to watch it then.

[Pete Holmes]

Because you want to see her pick her wedgie.

[Valerie]

Yeah, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

No, because, like, when we're watching something physical with our own eyes and we're there and we're feeling the energy, that's.

[Pete Holmes]

The only thing that can still impress much. If I had been there watching that guy skateboard down a building, my feet would have been absolutely sweating.

[Valerie]

Absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

But on the video, you're like, who cares? And if I had been there when he guessed my. That's the problem is we're like, let me know when Oz Perlman is going door to door.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And guessing my shit.

[Valerie]

That's another.

[Pete Holmes]

It's so unfortunate.

[Valerie]

Yeah, totally. Well, let's go to the mid rolls.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. Here are the mid rolls. This episode is brought to us by our friends at Magic Mind. You always see us drinking Magic Mind on the show because I always want my guests dialed in. And that's what Magic Mind is. It is dialed in. It is flow state in a bottle. You know how athletes have Gatorade creators now have creator aid. It is 12 functional ingredients. Things like matcha nootropics for focus and adaptogens to help fight stress. So it puts you right in that middle state. Not wired, dialed in. On average, people say they get about 30% more done for about five to seven hours after drinking it. It helps fight off procrastination, brain fog, fatigue, even some ADD type stuff. After a few days in a row, it's easier than ever to slip into that flow state on demand. And the best part? They got a money back guarantee. So if you don't like it, you get a full refund. Right now, Magic Mind is hooking up weirdos with 20 off your first order. Just go to magicmind.com weird use promo code weird at checkout. That's magicmind.com weird promo code weird Weird at checkout this episode is brought to us by our friends at Apollo Neuro. If there's one piece of wearable technology that has genuinely changed my life for the better, it's the Apollo. Apollo is a wearable that helps your body recover from stress by sending gentle, soothing vibrations directly into your nervous system. You can wear it on your ankle, I wear mine on the inside of my wrist. It basically tells your body you are safe. It's like a digital wearable hug for your nervous system. It has settings for everything. Energy and wake up, social and open, clear and focused. I usually have it on the social setting when I'm doing this podcast and my favorite Fall Asleep which helps me fall asleep without ingesting anything. Nothing in my system, just something on my system that helps me fall and more importantly stay asleep. It was developed by a neuroscientist and a board certified psychiatrist who spent 15 years studying stress and it's been proven in multiple clinical trials to improve sleep focus, recovery and overall calm. So if you want to feel more relaxed, focused and just a little bit more in control, check it out. You'll get $40 off at ApolloNeuro.com weird with promo code weird that's a P O L L O N E U-R-O.com weird with promo code weird check it out. This episode is brought to us by our friends at dad Grass. Why is it that when you want to relax and just have a little fun, modern weed products strap you to a rocket like a confused chimp and blast you into outer space? You can't follow a movie. You can't hold a conversation. You're just orbiting the earth surrounded by empty pizza boxes and a lot of regret. Well, can't we just take the edge off? Well, can't we just get a little giggly with our friends keeping our feet on the ground? Well, thanks to dad Grass yes, we can. I am obsessed legit with their leisure drinks. It is a sparkling yuzu flavored can that ships legally to all 50 states if you're over 21. And each one has 3 milligrams of THC and 6 milligrams of CBD, which is the perfect dose. So you feel happy and relaxed without the hangover. Plus they're stackable for a bigger buzz and they are fast acting, which means you'll feel it in about 10 to 20 minutes. So you can get it just right. Get leisure drinks and all of dad Grass's products, including their joints and gummies, [e-mail] weird and use promo code weird for 20 off. That's dadgrass.com weird. Use promo code weird for 20 off. Check it out. We're back.

[Valerie]

That's the other thing too is like it's only going to get more like that with.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, you're just picking back up.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

As if they didn't just listen to two wonderfully red ads.

[Valerie]

They can maybe three remember. They can remember that we're talking about O.S.

[Pete Holmes]

Perlman and Postmodern.

[Valerie]

Well. And we're talking about.

[Pete Holmes]

Welcome back to the show. I'm sitting with my wife. Is that right?

[Valerie]

It doesn't sound right.

[Pete Holmes]

Baseline. All the callbacks. Truck goes by, then the wind. This is. We made it weird.

[Valerie]

We're back. Yeah, no, we're just talking about like how we see things. Like, I can see. I saw two videos of Bose O's pearls, Noise cancel Boys, Earl Bo's, earlman.

[Pete Holmes]

Bose Earlman.

[Valerie]

And was like, wow, that is insane.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Valerie]

And then any other video I know is going to go exactly the same way. And so I like, like. But if he was doing that to me or to a friend and I was in person, it would be impressive. And I think AI is just gonna push that even more. What?

[Pete Holmes]

Remember when I said Mexican artificial intelligence and you went a.

[Valerie]

Wait, don't.

[Pete Holmes]

You could say that. Can you?

[Valerie]

I don't know. But also you said Mexican artificial intelligence. AI Dios mio.

[Pete Holmes]

AI Dios meo.

[Valerie]

I don't.

[Pete Holmes]

And then you said, AII I think AI. Listen, I.

[Valerie]

You just threw me under the bus and I was just. Yes. And in your bid.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that's right. In Val's defense, she's protected by the. Yes and law.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I said, have you heard about the new Mexican artificial intelligence? What was it? A ideos mio. Yeah, it's pretty stupid. Then you said AI and I was like, that's so funny. Now you're Worried that that's not okay. It's like aso, right? In Japanese.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm pretty sure Japanese ASO means I see. Like, it means something. And I'm pretty sure III is just like, saying, oh, oh, oh. Or.

[Valerie]

Or like, it's.

[Pete Holmes]

It's been.

[Valerie]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Pete Holmes]

It's been used in inappropriate, like, Speedy Gonzalez. Totally. I don't think that's what you were doing.

[Valerie]

Yeah, I don't think so.

[Pete Holmes]

I will speak to Congress about this.

[Valerie]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

AII is so funny.

[Valerie]

I just am.

[Pete Holmes]

I. I'll Google it.

[Valerie]

What are you gonna Google?

[Pete Holmes]

Is I, I, I offensive? It filled it in for me.

[Valerie]

Oh, boy.

[Pete Holmes]

When Hispanic people say, AII is it only females?

[Valerie]

Oh, my God. What do people.

[Pete Holmes]

What does a III mean? It used to express surprise or dismay. I don't think so. It's not like.

[Valerie]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

I think there is a way to use it that's not chill. I think you making a very light. AII is very funny.

[Valerie]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

And inclusive.

[Valerie]

Wait, did it stop?

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, no, no, That's. That one. That's.

[Valerie]

This one. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

All right. It's better than AI Diaz. Mia. That was awful.

[Valerie]

Yeah. All right, well, let's talk about our anniversary.

[Pete Holmes]

Michael Jordan. Oh, jk. It was our anniversary. And happy anniversary. And by the way, I'm gonna. Here's a couple relationship flexes to start. ZERO.

[Valerie]

Zero planning. No. No planning.

[Pete Holmes]

Zero gifts.

[Valerie]

No gifts.

[Pete Holmes]

Zero cards.

[Valerie]

Well, nothing. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What did you throw out a card you got me? Because I didn't give you a card.

[Valerie]

Yeah, and I cried. Oh, no.

[Pete Holmes]

You put it in the garbage disposal.

[Valerie]

Y. It's just written, like, on the sides on the back.

[Pete Holmes]

It's, like, really personalized. The COVID is a watercolor. Upon closer inspection, we see. Oh, my God. It was a watercolor. Like, she did the front.

[Valerie]

She painted it.

[Pete Holmes]

She wrote Hallmark on the back, and it's perfect. My friend Eric wrote Air on his Nikes.

[Valerie]

Oh, my God. Eric.

[Pete Holmes]

Eric. Eric Jordan.

[Valerie]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow, wow. And then I look in the bag, and I'm like, wow.

[Valerie]

Yeah. We didn't plan anything, and it ended up being the best anniversary we've ever had. I think I got to. So you got up with Leela, and this is how I woke up. This is the cutest. It's like, we're in such a sweet spot. My friend said that her mom used to call the, like, age that we're. Because I always said I always looked Forward to ages 6 to 10 for some reason, I've just, like, held that in my heart. As just, like, the peak childhood, like, when parenting is going to be the sweetest. And so far, that's true. She's seven. And I told my friend that, and she said that her mom used to call it the cupcake years. And I was like, that just feels like we're. It's like she's lost three teeth. She's riding her bike. We're doing family bike rides. She's like, FBRs into roller skating and her cousins, and she's learning lines to be in Peter Pan. And she's just, like, so fun.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's not the salad days. It's the cupcake years.

[Valerie]

The cupcake years. And so we had to.

[Pete Holmes]

Drink the cupcake years. My mom looked at me in a.

[Valerie]

Way that said seeking of our relationship. How many times was. It was more early on. I gave up eventually, but, like, how many times in our relationship did I try to get you to watch the Wonder Years with me? Do you not recall what. There was a lot of times in the, like, in the early stages, probably before we were married, where I was, like, way less able, way fewer able to. To, like, really express what I wanted. Like, I just always want to rewatch the Wonder Years, but I think it's, like, hard for you.

[Pete Holmes]

It is. Because the dad.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Reminds me of.

[Valerie]

And the mom. Reminds you of your mom, I think.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. The whole. And the brother reminds me of my brother. But. But also, I remember thinking Wayne wasn't like my brother.

[Valerie]

No, he's not.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I know. And I kind of was like, what would that be? Like there was a lot of engagement, even though Wayne calls him scrote.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Which is so funny that it just made it onto abc.

[Valerie]

They just didn't know what a scrotum was.

[Pete Holmes]

Nobody Googled it.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Standards and Practices was there. They had the word scrotum, and he keeps saying scrote. So they just put a question mark next to scrotum, and then they forgot to look into it. So a kid calling another kid scrote hundreds of times.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Made it. They could have gotten away with taint back then. Wow. But, yeah, the show makes me sad in the same way that the movie Boyhood makes me sad.

[Valerie]

Like, I'm just like, well, boyhood is. There's a lot more peril. And, like, I think.

[Pete Holmes]

But there's, like. I remember being a kid and being like, something changed. When my father had his cocktail, we knew to be quiet until he sat at the table, took two sips, and said, so, what's the news of the day? And I'm like, that hyper vigilance is not my idea of a chill night.

[Valerie]

Yeah. I actually wonder now if I watched it, if it would. If I would be more sensitive to.

[Pete Holmes]

And if his eyebrows raised, we knew he was gonna say, let's go for a drive after dinner. But if they fell, we knew he was gonna say, the goddamn TV's not working. And I'm like, oh, this is entertainment. Remembering what it's like to be seven and holding your breath, wondering what the weather patterns look like at the dinner table. My mom looked nervous, like she had a bee in her belly. She'd look at. She'd look at me in a way that said, it's okay, kid. And then the brother comes in like, hey, scrote, get off my chair. Not on your chair. Like, good. You know what? That. Just even saying that makes me want to take 500 cash out of an ATM, just walk around with my. Not with my dick out. But, like, wants me to prove to myself that I'm a grown up.

[Valerie]

Yeah. That you're not a child anymore.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. I can't stand it.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm this close to buying a new car based on that riff.

[Valerie]

Yeah. The Wonder Years.

[Pete Holmes]

Not because I want a car.

[Valerie]

Can I do this joke?

[Pete Holmes]

Yes, please. Yes, of course. Sorry. That was sensitive. I'm sensitive.

[Valerie]

The Wonder Years. More like wonder if dad's coming home tonight.

[Pete Holmes]

Years, bro. And which dad?

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And by the way, I'm feeling so much more love and appreciation for my folks. I'm just saying that's how it was. I'm not saying anybody was. I'm just saying that's. That's the thing we were doing.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Okay. So back to our anniversary. Leela, you got up with Leela.

[Pete Holmes]

Brag.

[Valerie]

And I. So I, like, didn't really fall back to sleep, but I got to, like, lay in bed for a while. And then Lila came in with this candle that we got from Target, because I love Target at the. In the fall. Some people love Boston in the fall. I love Target in the fall.

[Pete Holmes]

You're the queen.

[Valerie]

And it's like a slight. It looks like a slice of pumpkin pie, but it's a candle. So she brought me for my anniversary. She comes in and hands me this candle that's just, like, from our dining room table with a sticker that says April Fools and a card that says, in her sloppy child, large lettered, big cursive writing, Please, please read the card before you eat the pie.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Valerie]

And then I was like, what does this have to do with My anniversary. And then you came in behind her and you had.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, you forgot. She had a fake slice of pie.

[Valerie]

I just said that. You weren't listening.

[Pete Holmes]

Is it a candle?

[Valerie]

Yeah, it's a. I said it's a candle that looks like the slice of pumpkin pie.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh. I did briefly just go into a fugue state. I'm sorry. Yeah. I didn't know that was a candle.

[Valerie]

Oh, okay.

[Pete Holmes]

I've been eating it. There is a slice of pumpkin pie.

[Valerie]

This card before. Trust me, I've seen this. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

She had a fake slice of pie for you.

[Valerie]

And it's like a fake slice of pumpkin pie with a car with a sticker that said April Fools. Then you bring in a real small, like, Trader Joe's Freezer Pie. Freezer pumpkin pie. Which is equally confusing because it's 7:30 in the morning.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

And it has. Pumpkin pie. Has nothing to do with our anniversary.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't remember. I'm just kidding.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It is the pumpkin pie year.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Eight years.

[Valerie]

I guess so. But. So it was very cute. And then there was another card that Leela made us where she drew a picture from our. Like, that's, you know, that she got from a wedding. A real wedding picture that we have.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, yeah. She drew us.

[Valerie]

She drew us. It was very sweet.

[Pete Holmes]

Unbearable. So cute.

[Valerie]

So I just ate pumpkin pie in bed at 7:30 in the morning with our daughter. It was so sweet.

[Pete Holmes]

There's crumbs on my side of the bed.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And they stick to my back with pride.

[Valerie]

Yeah. So it was a very good way to start it. And then we, like, went to breakfast and at the Ojai Valley Inn, which is, like, such a dreamy spot for us. And we have a lot of memories there. And it's also, like, a really nice spa. And it's the kind of thing that you have to, like, book in advance.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Valerie]

And we were like, let's just walk in and see if they have massages. And they did. So we got, like, improv. We felt like we were getting away with something so hardcore.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know why, but they were like. Like, because it's always booked up. Maybe people that work in this industry are experiencing this, but they're just like, there's 12 masseuses here and no one's working. There were, like, two of them are working right now.

[Valerie]

So they just.

[Pete Holmes]

So they were, like, really happy.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That we came through and I was really happy. And I got a happy ending. Meaning the massage was longer and firmer than I expected. What did you Think.

[Valerie]

What did you think that meant?

[Pete Holmes]

Sorry. What? By the way, we didn't tell that.

[Valerie]

I know. That's why I gave you that look.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, Yeah.

[Valerie]

I didn't know if you wanted to tell that.

[Pete Holmes]

Of course I do.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Yeah, you should now. Okay. No. So whatever. It was just so dreamy. And then we ended up, like, having sushi with Lila, and it was great. And then we went and saw.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God.

[Valerie]

One battle after another, and we were forever changed because I was like, you.

[Pete Holmes]

Have to be real with me if you don't really want. Like, what was the other thing? We could do something else. Like, go to dinner. I don't know what we were gonna do, but, like, you were just really.

[Valerie]

I'm not gonna be a guy.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't want to be the guy in the movie. Makes his wife sing, and your voiceover comes in. It's like, great. We're gonna go see his favorite director.

[Valerie]

Crazy. Because you know that Phantom thread is my favorite movie.

[Pete Holmes]

Brag.

[Valerie]

And I. I mean, I love. And licorice pizza. I love pta.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I know.

[Valerie]

There's not. There's not a single movie of his.

[Pete Holmes]

That I don't love again. I just grew up with a dad that's taking my mom to, like, car shows in the baseball hall of fame, and I'm just like. Like, so too Brannis for me now. I can't. I can't do it. I know, but you did want to go. And we went.

[Valerie]

Dying to see it.

[Pete Holmes]

And the babysitter, I think good detail. Was running late, and we were running late, and we walked in right while it was starting.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I think we missed the first. Maybe. Sorry, PTA, but maybe 60 seconds. Yeah, well, we. It's a good edit. It was.

[Valerie]

And I was like, we'll sit down. Let's get settled, and then I'll pop out and get candy for us.

[Pete Holmes]

And I said, is.

[Valerie]

It's too. You can't get kids. I couldn't. I was. I was, like, on the edge of my seat the entire time. It's so good.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the best movie in the world. It's so good. And I just was going in a little. I don't know where. I stopped trusting Leo in the same way I don't trust Brad anymore.

[Valerie]

I know, but both of them. I thought of this later. I thought of this later because you were like, think of the last movies and, like, that they did and all this stuff. And I was like, wait, I. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. They're both fantastic in that. And that was.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I know. I know it's stupid. That's what I mean. I don't know when I stopped, but I thought F1 was really bad. And I'm sorry. I know a lot of good and talented people worked on it. I'm so la.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It just wasn't for me.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then so I started going like, well, you know, these guys are trying to make movies that. That everybody can enjoy. Like, and they did, like, F1 did amazing. And I don't even follow those things. I happen to catch wind. That F1 I broke wind.

[Valerie]

I broke in. That F1 did great.

[Pete Holmes]

Huge money. And I was like, I'm glad. Okay, great. It just wasn't for me. And then I. I don't know when I stopped being, like, just minted. If Leo. Leo. I'm a sucker for Leo. If Leo does it, I'll love it. I don't know. I'm not sure. But then I went into this full. Skeptical.

[Valerie]

Yeah, because you also don't love. Although you have come around on Big Lebowski. You don't love a bumbling idiot in over his head.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, can I say the thing? I think this movie, one battle after another. Because I love Paul Thomas Anderson. And even if he did the podcast, if it came up and he asked me, did you like Inherent Vice? I would have to say, with full respect, my love. I'd call him my love.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'd hold his hand, but on the top of the hand.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It wasn't for me.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because it's a movie designed to confuse you. That's like what they were going for. The book is confusing the protagonist. So Joaquin is this stoner guy trying to solve this crime. I'm not saying there aren't great moments in that movie, and there are, but it just didn't land with me. And that's fine. It would be fucked up if everyone loved everything you did. So that's the one I sat out on. I felt like one battle after another to my taste was fixing that movie.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's kind of an insulting thing to say about Inherent Vice, but I'm like, oh, my God. He clearly likes a ill prepared protagonist chasing something while a very uptight government official. Josh Brolin and Inherent Vice and Sean Penn in this is chasing him. Didn't work in Inherent Vice for me. Fucking was an enema of ambrosia from heaven in this. I wouldn't.

[Valerie]

I couldn't get enough frame. I couldn't get enough of it.

[Pete Holmes]

Three hours long. It went by, like, nothing.

[Valerie]

Absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

And Leo, I. I now like things that you've done that I didn't like.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because you did this.

[Valerie]

He was so perfect.

[Pete Holmes]

He was so perfect. It was a whole movie. Sorry.

[Valerie]

Well, no, go ahead.

[Pete Holmes]

Really. It was. Remember in licorice pizza, there's the casting agent scene. Yeah. Where she's on the phone and it's tight on her face and she's smoking, and you're just like, I didn't know human acting could be this good. I didn't know a person could be this interesting and effortless and engaging. And there's lots of moments like that in all of his movies. This movie is only those moments.

[Valerie]

Absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

He, like, figured out, like, oh, let's call that umami. He's like, I'm gonna have a meal. That's just umami.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's just gonna be Benicio del Toro being perfect. It's gonna be Leo being perfect.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And Sean Penn playing the most unlikable, racist piece of shit. And you're like, I still kind of like him. Like, when it cut back to him, you're like, oh, fun. I get to watch this little man absolutely being thwarted. He was great.

[Valerie]

I do think it's the best acting Sean Penn I've ever seen Sean Penn do.

[Pete Holmes]

I think he's gonna get an Oscar.

[Valerie]

They do a fantastic job.

[Pete Holmes]

And I think they're gonna snub Leo.

[Valerie]

Humiliating.

[Pete Holmes]

Because Leo deserves it. Sorry.

[Valerie]

Humiliating that character, like, making him so ridiculous, which is just the ultimate revenge.

[Pete Holmes]

He did, like, a gift. Like, he. He. He's not like me when I'm reading a movie script. I've talked about this many times. I'm like, do. Is it fun? I always say, sometimes I won't read something. I'll be like, you can tell him I'm interested because it'll be early. Early stages. And I'll go, did you read it? Is there anything humiliating in it? I always say to my manager, I go, do I bend over and spread my butt cheeks? And he's like, no, it's not. It's not like that. I'm like, great. This is him being.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Unlikable.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Humiliated. Broken down. Like, that's the point. And it's so. No spoilers. It's just so good.

[Valerie]

I know. It's so. It's so good. It's funny in the way that. It's so funny that PTA is funny.

[Pete Holmes]

But people kept saying that to me, and I was like, I don't know why. I just didn't trust. I was like, yeah, sure. It's like, I have that thing where if everybody likes it, bet the other way. If everybody's like, it's so funny, I'll be like, you know, we'll see about that. I loved it. And again, talking about AI, I was like, this movie you leave going like, oh, my God. Human beings being vulnerable on camera and filled with, like, moments. Not. Not effects, but, like, things that happened that the camera caught that couldn't have gone better.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That, you know, were X Factor moments. A car crash, someone falling, whatever it is. And you're like, that's real. It's the opposite. And I have full respect. Sorry, everybody. I. I do. Like, I think AI is very interesting and I'm aware of the environmental costs. And I. I'm. I don't use it often. I don't know why I'm feeling sensitive about that, but. So watching this, I was like, human beings are fucking dope.

[Valerie]

Yeah, Absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

Every single person.

[Valerie]

Absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

Including the guy interrogating the teenagers. Remember, we were like, who is this guy?

[Valerie]

Who's that guy that seems like you got your, like, actual cop buddy?

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, you just rolled on a real cop. But he's funny and interesting. Like, there's no fat on the buffalo.

[Valerie]

I know, which is bad.

[Pete Holmes]

Cause we need fat to live.

[Valerie]

And the main girl, jk, I looked up her name, but I forgot it. Her acting is. Is so.

[Pete Holmes]

It's Infinity Chase. Infinity.

[Valerie]

Yeah. Yeah, she is.

[Pete Holmes]

I love that you forgot the name Chase.

[Valerie]

I know. Can you believe it? Like, what do I need?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it's like, let me guess. He does it.

[Valerie]

Her acting is flawless. There's actually, like, nothing.

[Pete Holmes]

Zero notes.

[Valerie]

It's the subtlest.

[Pete Holmes]

And how do they do it?

[Valerie]

And how is she so subtle in, like, a movie that is, I don't know, so action packed and so big. My God, it's just so good. It's so good. And then. That's the best feeling.

[Pete Holmes]

And it looks beautiful. The road.

[Valerie]

Gorgeous. I know. I just thought of the road when I said it.

[Pete Holmes]

The way he shoots the road, the way he shoots the sky, the way he shoots dust, the way he shoots eyes, the way he shoots smokes.

[Valerie]

We'll never understand how he does it.

[Pete Holmes]

A few small beers, like the small smiles. It pulls you. I've said this many times. But film, A film camera is an open aperture, right? It's letting in all these details and all this light. And when you take psychedelics, your eyeballs, you have, you know, dinner plate eyes. That's because your eyes are letting in more detail and light that usually your brain decides isn't important. And when you're watching, and I don't know who his DP is, but like, when you're watching a Paul Thomas Anderson movie, I have to assume he has something to do with it as well. You're. It's like you're tripping because everything is beautiful. He's not adding colors and layers. He's just opening up, letting so much in.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

They can be looking at the wall of a church and you're like, I know what it feels like. I know what that smells like. I'm there. In the same way that an epic dream or being on mushrooms is the same kind of like, is anyone seeing this tree? And he shoots it in a way that we all get to sober experience. The. The theater of. I'm overstating it, but the theater of wonder. It's like you're letting in reality. It's like you've been like, I've always wanted to kiss you.

[Valerie]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's like, well, here I am. And you're like, thank you. I had a feeling you were fascinating. I just got so lost in spreadsheets and alarms and emails and fucking bullshit that I've become numb to majesty. And an open film. But not just any film. Like, a good story told beautifully can make you leave going. Humans are okay. There's hope for us.

[Valerie]

Yes. We make beautiful things. We are experiencing life fully. Like, actually, there is no better feeling to me than after seeing a really funny.

[Pete Holmes]

And you walk out. And movie theaters are so lucky because you walk in and it's just red and popcorn. And then you walk out after a good movie and there's glass and you see your own reflection in it. And the carpet is. Oh, was it always lasers and like. Yeah.

[Valerie]

And you're like, there's a fountain outside of here. I didn't even see it.

[Pete Holmes]

Exactly. And it's no overstatement to say that Paul Thomas Anderson and filmmakers like the ones that worked on this movie and others like them are. I mean, doing God's work is one way to say it.

[Valerie]

Yeah. It's waking us up.

[Pete Holmes]

It's waking us up.

[Valerie]

Yeah. And it's reminding us that there's inspiration everywhere.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's forcing you. Look, I'm not being an old fart. That's saying you can't have a rockin good time scrolling through clips and laughing your ass off. I've told you, I've had that experience. It was wonderful. But like, it doesn't ask very much of you. And a movie is like you. You fucking sit there and shut the fuck up. And you watched. You just fucking watch this and it becomes your reality. And in the hands of somebody gifted and generous and talented, you gave them that onus over your consciousness and you were better for it. And I don't think I know. I don't just think. I know. You're not getting that from scrolling.

[Valerie]

Absolutely. But I do think it's pronounced anus. Keep it crispy. Are you Team Batman or Spider Man? Is the ultimate dish pizza or tacos? SmashBoom Best will help settle those debates and so many more. Every update, we take two cool things, smash them together, and we see which one is best. Debaters use facts, jokes, stories and more to argue for their side. And it's all judged by a teenager because who is better at judging than a teen? It's fun. It's weirdly informative. It's smashboom Best. Get it wherever you get your podcasts.