We Made It Weird #239

Summary

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
We Made It Weird #239 — “The Denver Fiasco”
Released: February 1, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this especially candid and riotously relatable episode, Pete Holmes and his wife Valerie recount their recent ill-fated family trip to Denver, lovingly dubbed "The Denver Fiasco." They blow off steam, deconstruct the disaster, and muse on everything from the weird vulnerability of traveling as a family to deeper reflections on parenthood, marriage, and self-compassion. As always, their banter veers from hilarious to honest to heartwarming—offering fellow weirdos a cathartic dose of comedy and realness.

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Table of Contents

• Episode Theme & Tone
• Setting the Stage
• Travel & The Denver Fiasco
• Sick in Denver: Altitude, Babies & Vomit
• Parenting: Tantrums & Tapping Out
• Reflecting on Comedy, Suffering, and Self-Kindness
• Notable Quotes & Moments
• Timestamps for Key Segments

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Episode Theme & Tone

Theme:
Resilience and relationship in the face of domestic chaos. Pete and Val turn the misery and misadventures of a ruined trip into shared laughter and self-reflection, exploring “the medicinal value of comedy” and the honest struggles of everyday life with a family.

Tone:
Silly, confessional, self-deprecating, and emotionally open. The hosts’ signature, affectionate riffing ranges from absurdist inside jokes to deep partnership vulnerability.

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Setting the Stage

• Why they podcast together: Their podcast doubles as essential couple’s therapy—“A great relationship hack is to have a podcast together because we needed to connect like this. We wouldn't have done it.” (Pete, 00:54)

• Immediate post-vacation talk: They dive into recording straight after returning from the trip, openly admitting their mutual bad moods due to the fiasco nature of Denver.

• Meta-commentary on their vibe: The first few minutes are about breaking out of a funk. They joke about puberty voices, group texts, and needing comedy now more than ever.

“I'm not done being in a horrible mood, so I'm quite delighted.” (Pete, 09:35)

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Travel & The Denver Fiasco

• Purpose of the trip: Visit close friends Sam and Ariella and meet their new baby (“their third baby!”).
• Val’s emotional urgency: She’s been feeling the pull to meet the baby since its birth and laments missing the newborn window.
• Pete’s perspective: Less connected to the baby urgency—“I see it, and I'm going, does this make me want a baby? No.”
• Travel logistics: Booked a nicer family hotel (Four Seasons… filled with NBA players), planned to make the trip into a treat.
• Early woes: The city is further away than expected (“I thought that would be more fun...”), Pete ruminates on how he miscalculates travel times and distances.

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Sick in Denver: Altitude, Babies & Vomit

The Sickness Creeps In

• Altitude confusion: Val wakes up the first day in Denver feeling awful. Is it altitude or illness?
• Ice skating & Target: Brief rally during a solo adventure with their daughter Leela.
• Casa Bonita letdown: Val forces herself to go to the famous themed restaurant but has to bail at the last minute, admitting, “I was just actively trying not to throw up.” (46:50)

Domino Effect of Vomiting

• Val’s hotel ride: Pete drives Val back, bag at the ready. “There's like some functions of the body that when you see them, you're like, right. This is one of the things that happens.” (49:20)
• Leela gets sick: The next day, their daughter throws up in their friends’ car and again at Casa Bonita—in the literal treasure cave.
  • Shout out to the restaurant staff for being “all over it.”
• Parental guilt: Pete: “That’s a bad feeling when your kid barfs in your friend's car.” (58:55)
• “Room” becomes their world: They’re quarantined together in a cramped hotel room, completely derailed from the trip’s intentions.
• Everyone’s mood: “We’re trapped in room. I’m trapped in room. And I feel sick.” (80:23)

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Parenting: Tantrums & Tapping Out

The Hotel Tantrum

• Leela’s meltdown: After the illness and disappointment of missed parties, Leela has an epic tantrum, now with advanced vocabulary: “I hate you. I wish anyone was my mommy except for you.” (75:08)
• Val’s exhaustion: “I just didn’t have it in me. I went into the bathroom, closed the door, and sobbed my eyes out.” (76:03)
• Tapping out: Val texts Pete to come back from his dinner hang because she’s at her wit’s end—“this is my worst nightmare because I never do that.” (80:08)
• Reflections on single parenting: “You need somebody to tap out in these moments.” (79:15)

The Delayed Fiasco Realization

• Parental guilt and regret: Both grapple with feelings of failure, disappointment, and the sense of having wasted time and money. Pete especially tortures himself tallying up the cost of their misadventure (“It’s like reading the letters of an affair—you don’t need to know.” 85:05)
• Solidarity in suffering: Open about the need to “delete” these kinds of nights from memory, but grateful for the space to process honestly.

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Reflecting on Comedy, Suffering, and Self-Kindness

• Comedy as medicine: They repeatedly note that connecting and laughing together is the true alchemy—“With you, it all seems instantly alchemized into gold and laughter.” (22:26)
• Spiritual tools & self-doubt: Pete discusses struggling to embody self-awareness teachings when actually in the depths of a bad mood: “Not only am I miserable...I can’t apply what my favorite new guy is telling me...And it sucks.” (87:00)
• Self-kindness in parenting: Both discuss the challenge of being “great” parents under stress and the importance of not weaponizing self-improvement tools against oneself. (88:00)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On the universal suffering of parents:

“If you see a kid melting down and a parent reacting in however way they are mustering to react, the only thing you should say is, 'Been there, you’re doing great.' That’s it.” (Val, 102:09)

On comedy and connection:

“A great relationship hack is to have a podcast together because we needed to connect like this. We wouldn't have done it.” (Pete, 00:54)

On baby ambivalence and self-forgetting:

“There should be a word for people who need to be reminded who they are. I amnesia!” (Pete, 43:19)

On letting go of the story of a 'ruined trip':

“But this show helps me realize it’s all part of it, and the story of it.” (Pete, 87:44)

On being in the thick of it:

“Trapped in room. I’m trapped in room. And I feel sick.” (Val, 80:23)

On parenting regret and self-flagellation:

“It's like finding out your wife's having an affair or finding a box of letters. Don't read the letter...It's the money version of reading the letters. Why are you torturing yourself?” (Pete, 85:05)

On parenting a “deeply feeling” child:

“If you have another parent friend that has a spirited child…there’s a weird look that we give each other…we’re in like a different kind of cave.” (Val, 73:39)

On stranger ‘energy work’ and karmic credit:

“She goes, 'I'm sending you love.'... Five minutes later she said, 'I see what I did worked.' I wanted to turn around and be like, what the fuck are you saying to me?” (Val, 95:35)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment Description | |------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:22–02:50 | Setting the mood, length of episode, why podcasting together works | | 09:35 | On the need for comedy during stress (“I’m not done being in a horrible mood… so I’m quite delighted.”) | | 22:01 | Start of the Denver trip recaps, “nothing went our way” overview | | 28:03 | Deciding to make it a family trip: the emotional stakes of seeing the baby | | 44:09 | Fiasco begins in earnest: sickness, schlepping, logistical woes | | 46:45 | Val forced to leave Casa Bonita due to illness | | 49:36 | Val’s vulnerable moment: grateful for partnership and support through being sick (“I’m so glad we have this…”) | | 58:55 | Pete cleans up after Leela’s car puke incident; cascading guilt and sense of failure | | 75:08 | Leela’s epic tantrum (words: “I hate you. I wish anyone was my mommy except for you.”) | | 80:08 | Val’s breaking point—texts Pete to come back, reflections on rarely needing help | | 85:05 | Pete’s “money math” breakdown at the airport—“It’s like reading the letters of an affair…” | | 87:00 | Spiritual self-criticism—struggling to apply teachings mid-meltdown | | 90:14 | Airport incident with “energy worker” woman claiming energetic credit for Leela’s improved mood | | 102:09 | Val’s advice to the world: parent solidarity—“All you should say is, 'Been there, you’re doing great.'” | | 104:44 | Reflections and perspective shift: embracing fiery kids, family stories in the making |

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Final Note

This episode is a master class in making everyday suffering and family chaos hilarious, communal, and bearable. Pete and Val’s radical honesty about their own struggles with travel snafus, parenting exhaustion, and their very human (sometimes very flawed) coping is a kind of “relationship standup” for the soul—complete with one-liners, hard-won insights, and the persistent reassurance that you’re not the only weirdo out there.

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“Keep it Crispy!”

(The episode’s signature sign-off, inserted at surprise moments, arrives to close out a story that is now not just about a fiasco, but also about forging gold—together—from life’s mess.)

Transcript

[A]

Lemonade.

[B]

You made it weird with Pete Holmes. Go ahead.

[A]

What's happening, weirdos?

[B]

You knew.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I wasn't trying. We just did the ending, and I was like, that was a great ending.

[A]

Yeah. So I'm. I. I did one other time, and now I think this is the new Keep it Crispy game is like, I do it in a surprise, like, on a whim, but it is like, that.

[B]

Was the right time.

[A]

It's like the second I can tell that you're winding down, I'm going to just say, keep it crispy.

[B]

It was a great Keep it crispy. It's. It's. It's not abrupt, but just be ready for it. Yeah, but this is a long episode. This is an hour and 40 minutes.

[A]

Oh, my God. We really needed it.

[B]

We needed it.

[A]

We really needed it.

[B]

And, you know, I. I tell people all the time, a great relationship hack is to have a podcast together because we needed to connect like this. We wouldn't have done it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm so glad we did. And. And the feeling I had at the beginning and the feeling I have now is a completely different feeling.

[A]

I know.

[B]

And today, Val and I were just in the absolute worst moods. This is what the episode is about. If we called the episodes things, this one would be called the Denver Fiasco.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because we just did this trip, and it just didn't go our way. Not in any major, you know, serious way, but in all, a lot of funny, like, inconvenient ways. You'll see. Yeah.

[A]

So we unpack that. And. And it started from us, like, we just landed and got back at home.

[B]

Literally, from this trip. Part of the fiasco was like. And we gotta do a podcast when the.

[A]

Am.

[B]

I supp. You know, I didn't. I don't say these things. Those are all secret inner feelings. So let's get to it as quickly as possible. The next date I have is February 20th in Miami, followed by my Largo show. I'm so sorry. I had to cancel Largo last month. Just was sick for about eight days. A horrible stomach flu that comes into play in this podcast. But March 7th is my next Largo show, and I will be there. Even if I have the stomach flu. I can't miss it. I can't. I just can't mess it. Royal Oak, Michigan, is after that. Irving, Texas. Madison, Wisconsin. Denver, Colorado. All of those are on PeteHomes.com Denver, Colorado.

[A]

Going back to Denver.

[B]

Well, that's not for a long time.

[A]

Ye.

[B]

Yeah. But, yeah, we're so glad you guys are here. This is. This is one for the books. I think we'll listen to this one.

[A]

I agree, it's really silly and funny. Up top, we're blowing up, blowing off a lot of steam. And then we have quite the tale that we weave for you.

[B]

I loved this episode. This is exactly what I'm looking for in a. We made it weird.

[A]

Medicinal.

[B]

If you're new to the show, this is the. These are the usually Friday episodes coming out on Saturday where Valerie and I catch up and we're so glad you're here. And without further ado, I hope you enjoy it.

[A]

Get into it.

[B]

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[A]

Hey there, it's Julia Louis Dreyfus. I'm back with a new season of Wiser Than Me, the show where I sit down with remarkable older women and soak up their stories, their humor and their hard earned wisdom. Every conversation leaves me a little smarter and definitely more inspired. And yes, I'm still calling my 91 year old mom Judy to get her take on it. All Wiser Than Me from Lemonada Media is out now, wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, okay. We're here. You know what?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

We made it.

[B]

We made it.

[A]

We did it.

[B]

I do feel that. I feel that.

[A]

Yeah, I do.

[B]

Hear that.

[A]

Yeah, we've been. Boy, that's how I would have talked.

[B]

To you in high school.

[A]

I know I would have loved it. I never let it go by.

[B]

I'm going to say this boys need it. No, I just mean like, we should never get out of puberty.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

How much better would Joe Rogan be if every once in a while I. I'm just saying, as a. As a masculine guy.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

If he every once in a while just couldn't help but if he was like aliens.

[A]

What is. What?

[B]

What?

[A]

You know what I'm gonna say. What a simple yet profound.

[B]

Profound. Like fix everybody. Everybody.

[A]

I really think that would.

[B]

Will Smith at the Oscars. You keep my wife's name out of your mouth.

[A]

But it was. It's just when they. It genuinely happens, but it should happen the best thing. And I used to think it was so cute. It would. When I was in, you know, like, eighth grade and all of the guys that I knew it was happening to, I love. I wanted to kiss them on the forehead every time.

[B]

Can I say something? I'm going to risk our. Well, now you're going to agree, but okay. Just. I feel like we're the same person, so I feel like you're going to understand what I'm going to say.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Justin Timberlake, his voice broke a lot when he. When that was happening.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

He has the feeling, the face and the vibe and the vulnerability.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And the high voice.

[A]

I'll say it. He has a pretty high voice.

[B]

I didn't just mean his pretty. Pretty comma. High voice. He has a high voice and a pretty. And a pretty high voice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I didn't just mean that. I mean, there's a certain. Well, I guess I did a little bit.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know if you knew that that's what you meant, but.

[B]

Yeah, But I also think. Even if he had a deep voice. But I do just mean he had a high voice.

[A]

Yeah. But I know also, it's just his.

[B]

Style of a guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That I'm like. I feel like I am. Exactly how much that happened to me in junior high.

[A]

I think you.

[B]

I am like. I don't know. It wasn't a lot, but it wasn't nothing.

[A]

But also, how did you react to it? Because I'll tell you right away, like, my. The boys that I had a crush on were the boys that, when it happened, would laugh. We would laugh about it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, that was my favorite.

[B]

This is what I mean. We all need a little handicapping.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I mean that in the golf way. I didn't even mean that to be offensive. I'm just. I.

[A]

Every.

[B]

Every guy could use the reminder of. Settle down, champ.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like Michael Jordan should have been, like. It was a good game.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Mike Tyson.

[A]

Whenever I get out there, I pretend that I'm mad at someone.

[B]

That's great. You won the potty. The P O D D I E. The 2026 potty has been announced.

[A]

Great.

[B]

The year is done. Everyone can relax.

[A]

It was so early in the year that.

[B]

It was so early in the year before the game, I pretend I'm mad at them. Hey, man, I was gonna say Mike Tyson kind of is.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I went out there. I can't do him. I don't want to do him.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Also, I feel like he has a lisp. You just made the lisp. You just made the lisp. You're on his lisp now. You just made the list.

[A]

Well, it's such a story.

[B]

This is already the best episode we've ever done. Two stellar bits in under under four minutes. We're under four, and we've cracked two grand slams. I don't want to talk about too much. About pitching a perfect game, about. No, but we're in a bad way.

[A]

Yeah. It's because we need it.

[B]

We need it.

[A]

We need it.

[B]

I know.

[A]

We were. We were five minutes ago in the worst moods of our lives.

[B]

It's funny because you were on this group text. I could be on a group text with every person I love the most, and I would still be like, get me off this group text. Yeah, I don't want it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know. I don't. I'm not. I'm not going to die on that hill. I just think there's some types of sensitivity that just can't handle it. And we've already covered that.

[A]

But you do. Like this. This is the one group text that. That I've ever seen you participate in.

[B]

I usually will just go, like, figure it out.

[A]

Yeah. Just delete me from this group.

[B]

No one. No, no.

[A]

You're probably the only parent at Leela's school who's not on the. The parent.

[B]

It's not my strength.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you know what? There's a lot of people. That is their strength.

[A]

Yeah. Let them do it.

[B]

Let them do it.

[A]

Let them.

[B]

Let them do it. Let them eat cake. Which meant the. The black chalky stuff in the inside of your stove.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So not so cute anymore. All the pastry shops called let the meat cake.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Anyway, let me. I do want to say I'm not done being in a horrible mood, so I'm quite delighted.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We were saying before we turned on the. These are microphones.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I said, I thought that was a big blackhawk. I thought that was a big blackhawk. That's very good. We need comedy.

[A]

We need it.

[B]

That was close to the edge, too. Handicap was close to the edge. Yeah, we're close to the edge.

[A]

We're living on the edge. I'm living on a prayer.

[B]

Hot take. The reason why comedy loves dancing around that line. Have we talked about how in the Wild west, if anyone ever did dance and shot at someone's feet?

[A]

Yes, we have.

[B]

They just shot that guy in the leg.

[A]

Yeah, He's.

[B]

That guy died. Like, no one ever Caught.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A full Charleston out.

[A]

No. Dance. Dance, pretty boy.

[B]

But Guns in the west didn't really work. Anyway, that's all other. That's my thesis. I, I. What was I saying?

[A]

Guns in the west.

[B]

And really.

[A]

Oh, oh, no.

[B]

Because the need. So we're in this. We've. We're coming off of a four, five day fiasco.

[A]

Yeah. A little bit of a Fiat.

[B]

I don't even think we need to say a little bit of a fiasco. It's missing. What?

[A]

No, yeah, you're right. I just.

[B]

You mean it's a high class. It's a high class Kliasco.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A Klyaska.

[A]

Because it did happen at the Four Seasons.

[B]

You don't need to be saying that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I like that. You did.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Flex well. We went well, we'll get into the story. We won't forget to get into the story. But I was going to say Four Seasons. Jeez. I thought that was a very nice Hyatt.

[A]

I didn't know it was the cheapest room at the Four Seasons.

[B]

Yep. There's a basketball team there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Ever been in an elevator with three NBA players? And, and me. And I'm like, oh, I'm. I'm of average height.

[A]

I am. I'm sure there's like a.

[B]

They're majestic. They're majestic. Majestic. Sounds condescending. I just mean like, holy shit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like unbelievable.

[A]

Cool. Yeah.

[B]

I heard them talking and, you know.

[A]

Cool this is gonna be. And they all smelled.

[B]

Girl, they all smelled great. They all had great shoes, great clothes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Great shorts. They're always on their way to the gym.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're always together. They always seem to be having a good time. Like, like, you know what I mean? Like camaraderie.

[A]

I know. I loved ever. I was attracted to every press training.

[B]

I heard, like, I could hear their press training. Somebody was like, wow, you guys sure are traveling a lot. And he was like, hey, that's the job.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Like some cool. Hey, that's the job.

[A]

That's so cool. That's the job.

[B]

I know I almost went as deep as he was, but I know that's a stereotype that.

[A]

Hey, that's the job.

[B]

You are the winner of the 2027 body. I. I was addressing a vulnerability. I was like, I'm sorry, I don'. To imply that all giant black basketball players have deep voices. This guy did. And then you saved me from my shame Jacuzzi.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Well, that's the job.

[A]

That's the job.

[B]

I didn't even know I didn't even see the connection.

[A]

I mean, I.

[B]

You're the winner.

[A]

You're. It's just because you're always talking so I have some more time. That's the only reason. It's the only reason.

[B]

I am the wind. You are the surfer. But you're a great surfer. And I'm not saying the wind is more important.

[A]

Well, you can't surf without it, but.

[B]

You can't surf without a surfer. That's real. There's a lot of times there's wind and no surfer. But if there's a wind and a surfer, and. We're talking about wind surfing, right?

[A]

Oh, absolutely. Wait, one more thing about the basketball players.

[B]

I feel like I got too much credit with wind. I just want you to know you're the queen. That's what I want to be making clear.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's what I want to be made clear.

[A]

But I know this is going to seem obvious, but what I really noticed about the.

[B]

The giant hands.

[A]

No, the basketball players.

[B]

Giant.

[A]

Is that I am attracted to tall men.

[B]

I get it.

[A]

Like, I'm. And I'm a very short person, so it. I understand that it seems like kind of a waste because a lot of men are taller than me, but I'm very attracted to. And it's not just because of their microphones.

[B]

Oh, my God. You're in the pocket. I thought I was dragging your ass like Leela to school. I thought I was dragging you. I mean, you weren't, but, like, you showed up today.

[A]

I don't know why. I can't explain it.

[B]

I'm going to celebrate. I want to write, like, a Boyz II Men's song about how much I. But it's called Celebrate you. Do you think they could do it?

[A]

I do.

[B]

I think they do.

[A]

I think, actually, they're maybe the only.

[B]

People who could celebrate you.

[A]

Yeah. Who could write a second.

[B]

Baby Face writes it. Baby Face writes the words and the melody.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then they sing it. Motown, Philly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Back again.

[A]

Baby Face baby died, Right?

[B]

Did he?

[A]

I think so. I think I. I feel like he died around the time Selena did.

[B]

He died?

[A]

I'm pretty sure.

[B]

Let's just not know.

[A]

Let's never know.

[B]

Well, we'll know at some point.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I. He might have died.

[A]

Yeah, he might have died, Rip. But yes. Okay, so we had. Is. Was there more on the basketball.

[B]

Call me a moron.

[A]

Was there. And say what?

[B]

That is good. You're good. I need this. I. This was a couple points ago.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

I think the. If. If Comedy. And I'm not talking about me. Nobody thought I was. I'm a tourist in comedy. I drive through in, like, a. A jeep that's on a track. Like Jurassic Park.

[A]

No.

[B]

Meep, meep. That's my worst nightmare, as I find out. I've been, like, tolerated like I was some sort of, like, I saved the world and. But I got a head injury, so I can't remember it. And then you guys just let me pretend to be a comedian. That would be fair. Yeah, that would be fair.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Whatever you think is fair.

[A]

You think you're fair. Show's about to stop.

[B]

We've already beat by beat done that sketch on this show. That is, if you haven't seen it, Johnny. Johnny Paradise.

[A]

Yeah, but it's called Lady Luck.

[B]

Old Two Eyes himself.

[A]

I think this.

[B]

We're not going to talk about it.

[A]

Yeah, but it's Tim Robinson.

[B]

It's Tim Robinson.

[A]

Just look it up.

[B]

His episode of Characters on Netflix. That's our version of, like, I have that. But it's on vinyl, which means it's not on. I think you should leave.

[A]

Not. I think you should leave.

[B]

Like, you actually have to click a few over. Yeah, you'll find it by searching Tim Robinson.

[A]

Oh, that happened way before. I think you should leave.

[B]

Whatever you think is fair. Okay. Is so. I don't mean me. So I'm not defending me. I'm speaking as somebody who's been awash in stress and in classic Pete and Val need to talk style. The guilt that comes with someone who spends so much of my time trying to be equanimous.

[A]

Equaniminous.

[B]

Equanimitous.

[A]

Equanimous.

[B]

Equanimitous. Equanimitous. That's a word for Mike Tyson. Equanimitive. I didn't realize in between the rounds I was feeling very equanimative.

[A]

And now, Pete, you are Malice. My lip.

[B]

Lisp. You're on my lip.

[A]

You're my lip list.

[B]

I made a list of everyone who makes fun of my lisp. It's my lisp. Lisp. Lisp. Lisp. It's my lips. My lisp. Lisp. Look at my lips. It's my lip. Lips. Look at my lips. It's a lip fl. I can't say it. Read my lips. It's my lisp list. That was hard. Hard to say. Hard to say what it is I see in you.

[A]

Oh, that was cool.

[B]

That's what they do.

[A]

Oh, cool.

[B]

It's not cool that I know that.

[A]

I don't Think it's cool. Actually, cool's not the right word.

[B]

Cool. Neato.

[A]

That was neato.

[B]

That thing you do is where they say neato a lot.

[A]

Yeah. We talked about how we watch that.

[B]

Yeah. When you're sick, you watch Tom Hanks movies also.

[A]

Like that guy who has three names. That actor who plays Sketch Skitch, Whatever, the drummer. He's so dreamy. And he's like 20 in that. But I still think he's.

[B]

You mean Tom Hanks Jr. Hanks?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That guy makes Colin Hanks look like Tom Hanks's distant cousin.

[A]

Yeah, totally.

[B]

Because that kid. The drummer in that thing you do is. I know Colin Hanks a little bit. So no disrespect to Colin Hanks and weird flex Pete, but I'm just saying even Colin would go, that's what my dad's, like, imagining. If he's like, if I had a son. Which is funny because Colin's in that thing you do.

[A]

Very briefly.

[B]

Very briefly.

[A]

He's still young and he.

[B]

Colin's great.

[A]

It was of the time, which is so funny because it's not of the period like that. It takes place in the 60s. But little baby Colin Hanks has the hairstyle that was popular when that movie was made, which is the push down, flip up.

[B]

He has the push down, flip up.

[A]

Push down, flip up.

[B]

Hot off of Orange County.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, Colin Hanks directed. I like Me John Candy Doc, which was quite good.

[A]

Good for him.

[B]

I just feel like he's very talented. I don't want to. I don't want it. Don't anybody get it. Don't get it. Twisted. My lisp. Lisp. Lip. I just think he's. Why am I being so weird about this? Of all the things I could be sensitive about.

[A]

Yeah. While making fun of somebody's speech.

[B]

Once you're Mike Tyson, you don't have a speech. No, that is speech impediment.

[A]

This is not part of your.

[B]

This is image.

[A]

Yeah. This is his.

[B]

It's like saying Woody Allen has glasses.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You can't say that about a guy. Okay, wait, let me get it. Oh, Joaquin Phoenix doesn't have a. Like a. Like a lip thing.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I'm not. I'm not trying to be funny. Okay. I'm just saying, once you're at a certain level.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What might have been a sensitivity.

[A]

It's your signature thing.

[B]

Becomes your thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like that lip curl that Elvis had. That was a medical condition. I'm just trying. I know, but it is funny how you'll Reverse engineer. What is really what's sexy?

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Women are good at that, too.

[A]

Oh, that's always.

[B]

I can't think of. Yeah, I know. It is what you guys do. I can't think of too many women that, like, have hook hands that were like. I'd love to get a hooky from her. Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, my God. You can't. You can't think of too many of those.

[B]

Oh, man. Looky, looky. I got hooky, man. Is that what the movie Hook is about? Yeah, that's like a Jiminy Glick. Is that what Hook was about? Is that what was.

[A]

Oh, my God. Yeah. You wouldn't.

[B]

Hey, I've been with you for five days. I haven't gotten to talk to you. I know I haven't gotten to talk to you.

[A]

And that is our. Hell is, like, going through hell but not getting to talk about it.

[B]

That's my bit.

[A]

I know.

[B]

It's funny. That's not my most famous bit, but I think that's my greatest contribution. It'll be realized later.

[A]

It's your truest. It's the.

[B]

At least it's suffering and talking about.

[A]

It you've ever said.

[B]

I agree. If you don't know the bits. I think hell would. Wouldn't be suffering. It would be suffering and not being able to talk about it. Like, heaven is suffering and talking about it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And we've been suffering enough. We haven't even gotten to the fiasco.

[A]

I know. We're too busy laughing.

[B]

I mean, we're 17, and you've won three parties already. Begging for the brown.

[A]

Begging for the brown.

[B]

So that's what we were gonna say. Before the mics were on, I was, like, just, like, hurting. Just a lot of stress. To give an overview of this little trip we just took. Nothing went our way. And I don't mean to be such a sad sack, but frankly, that's how I. How I've been feeling. I've been, like, kicking a rock, walking home, just going, like, nothing works out for me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And now that I'm with you, it all seems instantly alchemized into gold and laughter.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Gold and laughter. Pretty high voice. So, like. But we haven't had that chance. It's so interesting how the brain works. We need. This is why therapy, friendship, car rides, like, you know what I mean? Like a long.

[A]

No, but the second you said that, I pictured you, like, with your head out the window with, like, a dog. Yeah. Car rides. Love the car. We go into the car.

[B]

That's why I Talk. It's flapping.

[A]

Pete loves the car.

[B]

I'll pick up the keys in my mouth.

[A]

Yeah. He's always barking at the other people in the other car.

[B]

Oh, my God. Great Seinfeld bit. What's the dog thinking up there? If I could run this fest, I'd be king of the dogs. It's such a sweet bit.

[A]

I know.

[B]

It's like a 19 year old con Hank style bit.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, it's funny how the brain works. We need time to like, not just frame things, but like digest things. And we've just been going. So. Okay, so we'll do a little bit. We were gonna. We did.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We've had it in the calendar. Our friends Sam and Ariella, who we love very much, had a third baby.

[A]

What?

[B]

And three. What do you mean three?

[A]

They would say that they would. They would say that they would not.

[B]

Be our dear friends if they couldn't handle a little. What?

[A]

What?

[B]

Humor. In fact, I don't know, I would think that would be. That's what we have to offer is the people. Certainly me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm gonna be like, wow, this is too many kids.

[A]

That is too.

[B]

Just get it out of the way. Just say it. Cause I'm trying to process it. We're all trying to process it. Just like we're processing right now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So we went to Denver. In my mind, I'm gonna tell you something I've been excited to tell you. I'm gone.

[A]

Oh, I thought it was gone.

[B]

No, that's Carolina I saw on your face.

[A]

The second I realized it was.

[B]

I saw you going for it. You were in the paint.

[A]

If it was Colorado, that would have been so great.

[B]

I loved. I still loved it. I still loved it.

[A]

It's okay. I'm gonna.

[B]

This is what I've been excited to.

[A]

Three potties is enough.

[B]

You're. You're gonna get more bodies during this episode.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

If I were to draw the. The country. LA is right at the top of California.

[A]

No, I know.

[B]

What I'm telling you, this isn't right. I'm telling you. California looks like a. Like a piano key or like a arthritic finger.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And at the top, you know, not that arthritic. It's not Florida. Where it's like been broken in a basketball game.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's kind of like beckoning the mailman. I'm here, boy. Yeah. That's California. Louisiana is right towards the top of that. The water and the top here are the places you can fly. According to me, when I'm not really thinking about it. In 45 minutes. From California, from. From where we are. Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Washington, Las Vegas, Denver, Salt Lake City, San Francisco. Well, San Francisco's like 15 minutes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But guess what? Denver is not. I thought that would be more fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, but it wasn't that great. Yeah, but like.

[A]

I know what you mean.

[B]

Well, I'm just saying. Here's a better way to illustrate it. Like, you're also like, in Chicago is two hours. No, it's not.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Chicago's four and a half hours.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And Denver is two hours. Two hours.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, okay, that's not that bad.

[A]

But it's just further than you think. You think it's just like I'm gonna hop on a.

[B]

You think Portland and you think it's a Vegas.

[A]

Yeah. Zip. Right.

[B]

And it's not. Yeah, but I don't. I don't update the file in my mind because it serves me. You're like, hey, do you want to go to Denver? And I'm like, what's like going to Vegas? Yeah, it's a little bit more than double going to Vegas, so. Yeah, it is. It's almost triple going to Vegas.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it. Wow, math. So we. We went. Obviously. Last week was my flu game. I'm mad at you. I was sick last week, had to cancel those shows. I still feel awful about it. I think I haven't even recovered from the. Because I have the promise of a good time. I like doing it. It's taken away from me and I get like kind of a blues from that. But I was really, really, really sick. You guys did not get sick. Then we go to Denver and you immediately get sick. Yeah, that sick. We're not positive. There's a little bit of a whodunit murder mystery.

[A]

Yeah, there was a little like. What was that? Was that altitude? I was so certain it was altitude sickness because like, I am just an. A little ninny Winnie, and I can't do altitude well.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I always feel bad every time I'm in Denver.

[B]

We don't belong up there. We don't belong.

[A]

But two of my best friends live there. And so it's just. It's like I go there all the time, but I always remember that I feel dry and like my head is being squeezed in a vise and like a little nosh.

[B]

You know how people are like when they're going to India. That's how I am going to, like a high altitude.

[A]

Like.

[B]

Yeah, you gotta have the water purification. Make sure. Yeah. Like that's how I am going to high altitude places.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not so much in my 20s and 30s, but now. You're a little early, but you're a little baby bird.

[A]

Yeah, I just am too fragile. Tender.

[B]

We'll do the, the broad strokes. We did stay in a hotel filled with basketball players, so that lets you.

[A]

Know they're really nice.

[B]

Pretty nice. Well, that was a choice. We were like, look, we're going to go. Let's make this a family trip. Well, can I tell you, try to enjoy it.

[A]

I also, this is sort of my frame of. It is. So our best friends have a baby. It's insane to me that like, like I wanted to go immediately when they had the baby and they wanted me to go immediately when they had the baby, but it was like two days before Thanksgiving. And then we're just on the fast track to the holidays. And there was. I looked at my calendar between Thanksgiving and Christmas and was like, there's no window of time that I can go and see the baby. And so I do not feel this.

[B]

Pull, by the way.

[A]

Yeah, so I've. I've been feeling.

[B]

I know this is what I have to feel. Well, listen.

[A]

Yeah, so I've been feeling.

[B]

I'm not crazy about that feeling, but that is how I feel.

[A]

I've been feeling this pull since November. I also, like, told them that I would and then. And just didn't come right when the baby was born. And I'm like, God is see the babies. So. And then like, it just took all the way, like looking at the calendar, this won't work. This won't work until the end of January. So now the baby's two months old. It feels insane to me that I haven't met this child yet. And. And so I say to you, I'm going to Denver at the end of January. And you. And I was like, I don't know if you want to come, but like, that's, that's happening. And you're like, yeah, of course you want to see our friends. And so it's like, okay, we're bringing Lee. And now this is more of a proper trip.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So now we're gonna stay in a hotel as opposed to me just like sleeping in their basement. And we're just making this more of a thing, which is nice. And they get to see you and you get to see them.

[B]

Yeah, totally. And I do want to step out the idea that, like, I don't want to be such a cotton headed ninny muggins, but like, oh, I. I Watch how you are about babies. And I'm not gonna gender this, but women be, like, crazy for babies. I gendered it. I'm just saying, like, I liked meeting the baby, but you were like, oh.

[A]

My gosh, I miss her already.

[B]

Yeah. And I. This is a little bit of a remnant of my bad mood. What's interesting about doing a podcast when I am still know we've been having a great time. I can tell that I'm just, like, stiff. I'm just, like. I'm not. Spacious, airy, light, free. I know there's a Pete. So when I was with the baby, obviously, I was really enjoying being with the baby. But, like, I understand the Seinfeld episode where they're like, you gotta meet the baby. And we're like, what are you doing? It's a little baby.

[A]

Yeah. Well, it's almost like it's a similar feeling. And you probably don't feel this either, but, like, to weddings, where you're like, there's really just, like, a season of your life where you get to go to weddings and dance with all your friends, and it's so fun. And then it stops, and then you never get to go to a wedding again.

[B]

And, like, that helps me understand.

[A]

This is like, babies only exist for, like, a year.

[B]

No, I know.

[A]

And. And every month of that year, they are changing into less and less of a. Like a pure baby.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And so. And you only, like, I've only experienced my own child once as a baby.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so now I rely heavily on everyone else's babies to have baby time.

[B]

That's so weird. I don't. Again, I'm not defending this. I just have such a. God, I hate how I feel about it, to be honest, because I'm like. I see it, and I'm going, like, does this make me want a baby? No. Well, like, I'm thinking in those terms, which is stupid.

[A]

No. Yeah. Because that. I mean, it's not stupid, but it is not how I'm thinking of it either.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't want another baby. In fact, I love Leela and I miss her as a baby, but I probably enjoyed her as a baby way less than I enjoy other people's babies. Because I was exhausted, I was worried. I was freaking out. My whole life had blown up. I didn't feel good. I was like, you know, and now I just get to hold other people's babies. And, like, I'll give you that. No strings attached.

[B]

It's funny. So in the car, and I'm going to tie this all together in the car. I put on a church's song because it was me, you and Leela. And I like the band Churches. All right. And you're like, boy, you really love this song. And then also still in a bad mood, I'm like, I don't care about this song. I put it on because I'm with you guys and I'm trying to put on something light and poppy. And I realized that I'm like, I feel so sensitive about doing music wrong. So I've in my mind famously have a complicated relationship with music. And one of the issues that I think I've uncovered is that I don't have a great mind for cataloging it and recalling it. This episode is brought to us by my latest obsession, Little Saints. You guys know if you listen to the show, I do not drink. But I still love the ritual and that moment at night where you're winding down, you want to do something grown up. The clink of the ice, the big ice cube, the pause. For me, lately it's been Little Saints. It's been bringing me back into that ritual that helps me unwind at night. Especially their Saint Oak spirit. It's become my nightly wind down ritual. Little Saints makes elevated non alcoholic cocktails and spirits that actually taste like a real cocktail experience. I'm talking smoky, I'm talking interesting. I'm talking layered, not sparkling juice and not a health drink. And there's zero sugar. That was my first thought. I was like, this is so good. It's gotta be packed with sugar. It's gotta be like a soda. It's not. It's five calories, non intoxicating and designed for evenings hosting and winding down without wrecking your sleep for tomorrow. We actually did a Little Saints tasting party with my family this Christmas. It was super fun. We did a full spread, glasses, iced the little cans and the spirits in the bottle. Everybody loved them. Everybody found their favorite. I encourage you to do the same. They're crafted with functional botanicals like Lion's mane Reishi. Just to give you that bonus of calm and clarity. The results that help you stay present now, sleep better tonight and feel good tomorrow while still having fun. If you love cocktail energy, but not the cocktail consequences, check out Little Saints. Visit Little Saints.com and discover your magic hour. Use Code weird to get 15% off your first order. That's code weird for 15% off your first order. Little Saints products are non alcoholic. Functional ingredients are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any condition. You made It Weird is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you out when you need it. So your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance, Progressive Casualty Insurance company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations.

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[B]

Some people, I think the people that really love and relate to to music can also go like, this is how I feel. I know the music that's right for this. And it's not like an effort.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like food. They're like, I'm hungry. I kind of want Italian food. And they put on the kinks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When it comes to music, I'm like, I don't know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I get overwhelmed. Okay. So I don't like doing things wrong. And in that moment when you're like, boy, you really like this song. I got like flooded with a feeling of embarrassment. I know, I know you didn't want. And I'm not, not confronting you with that.

[A]

And actually what I said was, I think it's very cute how much you like this.

[B]

No, I know. And then in that moment, I'm Frankenstein on the beach and I'm like, oh, I've been caught. Like the lights are on those search lights at the prison and you know, they found me and they're like, oh, you were pretending to be a guy who could play the everyone picks a song game.

[A]

Oh, I hate this.

[B]

Similarly, so I don't like feeling like Frankenstein on the beach. Similarly, weddings, but more so meeting babies. I don't know what's expected. There were many times this weekend and here, let's start with this. I was enjoying being with the baby. Do you remember all the good time I had with the baby? Got the baby dancing on the table, moving it around, shaking it, gazing at it, shaking it very aggressively. No, but you know, like it barfed on me. I'M not, like, bad with babies.

[A]

No, you're great with babies.

[B]

I like and love babies.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And yet still three or four times people are like, do you like the baby? Like, people are checking in. Well, are you okay? Are you getting this? Are you seeing this? It's exactly how I feel about fireworks, live music. I don't know what the I'm supposed to do with my face, but just tell me what to do and I'll do it so I can just be with the baby and not kind of feel like I'm disappointing everybody.

[A]

You know what's so interesting is, by.

[B]

The way, Ariella, if you hear this, I'm just. I'm just.

[A]

No, generally very cute. That. That is a very cute way that Ariella loves her baby and is loving you. Really? That's.

[B]

No. I have no notes on my friendship with Ariella. I think she's fantastic. Is like the shoe there. You love the baby, but there's just part of me that it's a me thing that goes, I'm sorry, but you got Quasimodo. Quasimodo. And this is where I will bring my comedianness into it. I can do this one very special thing very well. Or I hit my head and I won a contest. I can't remember, but I can do that. And one of the costs of it, and I would include all of my comedian friends in this, is sometimes we don't know what to do at weddings and we don't know what to do at music festivals.

[A]

Sure, we don't know what to do.

[B]

When we're holding babies.

[A]

But I also think that it's. It's. Understand. Well, first of all, I think you would enjoy the baby if. More. Which I know you did enjoy the baby.

[B]

I did enjoy.

[A]

But I think you would enjoy the baby more if you didn't put so much pressure on yourself to enjoy the baby.

[B]

But that's actually. I hear that that's not what's going on. Because right around 45, I was like, I'm done. You've noticed this. When I meet people, I go, I don't remember meeting you. I just like. I just like being honest.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All of that efforting. I like it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's not always great, but one of the things is, I'm not gonna pretend to be delighted, but I just want to be with the baby and get a little time with the baby. You know, like a pair of sneakers. You wear it around the shoe, the store. Give me a moment with the baby.

[A]

Okay, so this is the other thing is like, that's not everybody. And probably a lot of men and women too. I mean, I. I can actually think of friends that I have that would feel the same way as you. That is like, okay, it's a baby. Like, yeah, I like. I like the baby, but like. And so it's not. It's like a biological thing that there's no judgment call on. It's like when I see that baby, I get oxytocin released in my brain.

[B]

I know.

[A]

So it feels very good for me to be around that. But like, for you, it. That happens maybe later. Like when you saw Aura, the two year old being really cute, then that was giving you that feeling.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And like, not everybody is a baby person in the way that. And I don't think that means anything. Like, yeah, it's like which animals you prefer too.

[B]

You know, it's funny now, having had a baby that grew into a toddler and grew into one. Whatever we call Lela now, I guess just a big old kid.

[A]

Yeah, Big kid.

[B]

I'm like, I loved all of it, but the one I missed the least is the baby. I shouldn't have brought Leila into it.

[A]

I love the baby too, but again, because of the proximity to the pain. Well, yeah. And just like the postpartum haze and this like. And as I previously mentioned, I'm a ninny and I can't handle not sleeping. You're an innie and an ninny. A nini gold and light gold.

[B]

Pretty high.

[A]

Pretty high voice.

[B]

Yes. Okay, well, there's some baby theory for you. Again, I don't. There's so many ways that I am that I don't defend. And if I could go in and change, maybe I would change and be like, I'd love to get more of a hit off of babies because it would speak to my receptivity. That hit is being given, but somewhere along the line, I think it just got cemented over with something else. Yeah, like we were talking about last week, competition and violence. I don't mean like literal violence, but like aggression and all these weird things that men don't know what to do with. And then you're like, here's a dew drop from heaven. And you're like, maybe if I was on acid.

[A]

No, maybe if I was on acid. I'm actually realizing something else happening here.

[B]

I'm glad, because I don't love my conclusion.

[A]

This isn't. You guys. Don't listen to a word Pete saying, because you are the person, the reason we met Sam and Ariella.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is because you are the person who, when you see a baby out in the wild and you did this to them with their first child, you say, give me that baby.

[B]

Yeah, I do say.

[A]

You are obsessed with babies. When we. When we're in public.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you see a baby, you're like, I want. I'll. I'll see you at weddings holding total strangers babies and taking them around.

[B]

Yeah, that's true.

[A]

Like, you love babies. So this is just a moment. This is how you're feeling in this.

[B]

Well, okay. I hope some of you are interested in this, because here's something to take away for all of us. I really think that I'm. There's gotta be a word, like the.

[A]

Kimlin scale, which is also not a word.

[B]

There should be a word for people who need to be reminded who they are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I am the first example of that being like, a lot of my life is spent going, well, I have a feeling, but I don't remember myself.

[A]

I got it. I amnesia.

[B]

I told you we were gonna win another body. I amnesia.

[A]

I amnesia.

[B]

I amnesia.

[A]

Or amnesia. Maybe it's amnesia.

[B]

I like, I amnesia.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I amnesia. I have. I amnesia.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Many times throughout my life, friends. And then when you came along entirely, you would just tell me who. That's what we. When we talked about, come see me in the good light. I'm like, I think I hate everybody. And I was like, no, you love everybody. Like, I need to be reminded. Minded. You're absolutely right. I. So there's other stuff going on there, but here. Here's what it was. It's also hard, traveling. Going to Denver. Altitude.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Get to the hotel then. And this is really the fiasco part.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We all had one night with the baby.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which was very sweet.

[A]

Yeah. Really fun.

[B]

And then we left. A lot of schlepping. I'm sounding very 46, but a lot of, like, schlepping.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A lot of, like, Ubers. And it was 35, 40 minutes sometimes just going back and forth.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Fine. And then the next. When did you get.

[A]

Okay, so I'll gladly tell this part. So. Yeah. So we have one night with them, and that's really sweet, and I'm glad we had that. Except for the fact that the next. Next day. The next day we wake up and I'm like, I feel like total dog.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But Denver. So I'm like, it's the altitude, and it's this place, man. Altitude.

[B]

We both were. But as someone who just had that. This thing. We were both Worried?

[A]

Well, no, I was. I didn't think that first.

[B]

Privately worried.

[A]

I really didn't think it for a second. I was. Because of the type of sick it was. It feels like car sickness, kind of. So I was like, well, this just seems like altitude. And I slept, like, total dog. Like, the worst. Like, if you're for all my aura ring heads out there, I got, like, a 44 sleep.

[B]

Also, whenever we're elevated place, the ring is like, are you okay?

[A]

Are you okay? You're not getting enough oxygen. And I'm like, sister. I know. So I feel terrible right out of the gate, but I'm like, all right. I just need to really hydrate. So we go to their house pretty early in the day. I eat, and I'm like, okay, I think I kind of feel better, and I'm just really trying to hydrate, but I'm not feeling great. But then Leela and I take a little break and we go ice skating. And maybe, like, the novelty of that, I was like. Like, I'm feeling good. This was fun. Okay, I'm starting to feel better. And we, like, ice skate. We had the whole place to ourselves for an hour. It was like this whole hockey rink.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We just were on. It was so fun. And then we go to Target after that, and then I go, oh, no, I really don't feel good. And we were. Our friends made a reservation for us to go to Casa Bonita, which, if you know, you know, am I right? This is, like, a place that. A historical place. That's an incredible themed restaurant that the south park guys took over and they revamped. And there's like. There's like, cave diving, and it's like.

[B]

Pirates of the Caribbean.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Was Mexico.

[A]

Yeah. And I was so excited to go.

[B]

Very magical. I have more on that.

[A]

And I just am spending, like, the two hours before. Before dinner just pretty actively trying not to throw up.

[B]

There's a special feeling when you're with a person who's trying to not barf.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, you.

[A]

And I also, like, don't get a moment to communicate to you. I mean, everybody knows that I'm not feeling well, but, like, I keep wanting to just get you alone to be like, what do I do? I don't feel good, but I really want to, like, go. And, like, is this altitude? What's happening? This is the first time it's occurring to me that maybe it's not. And, like, so finally, right before we're about to go, you and I go outside, and. And it was like, let's get to my fresh air and, like, take deep breath.

[B]

Breaths.

[A]

And I take, like, one deep breath. And I'm like, Like, I'm about to throw up. And you're like, okay. And I'm like, yeah, I can't go to cast Casa Bonita. And so you were like, okay, I'll tell them. You know, you tell our friends. They're like, so sad. I'm so sad. We just are all so sad from that moment.

[B]

So maybe fiasco isn't quite right, but it was the weekend or week. How long we were there felt like forever.

[A]

Three days, three nights.

[B]

Felt like. It felt like a month.

[A]

I know. Well, yesterday in the room felt like a lifetime. I told you that. The last thing I said to you.

[B]

First we were like, it'll be good to be sick in a hotel. And then it was like, no, I had to get you guys outside once a day to just be like, you can't just be in this room. I'm not usually that one. I'm like, hey, let's just hold up. I was like, this. It's. Look, I know it was a nice hotel, but it was.

[A]

But the room was very small. Yeah. And it was like. But the last thing I said to you last night was. I was like, what is world outside of room?

[B]

Yeah, you were losing it.

[A]

I was like, I know. I can kind of remember blue sky, but all I can think of is room.

[B]

So I drive you. I borrow their car and drive you to the hotel.

[A]

Yeah. I was like, I'm just gonna get an Uber. And you're like, you're not taking an Uber. Which I feel so grateful for. Also grateful that our dear friends thought to give me a plastic bag, which was used heavily. Was heavily used.

[B]

There's also a very. And by the way, I. I hate gross out stuff. Nobody here is trying to gross.

[A]

Trying to gross you.

[B]

I'm just letting everybody know there's not gonna be any details or anything weird to make you feel squeamish. I'm just saying it's a weird. It's a little bit like childbirth, to be honest.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's like some functions of the body that when you see them, you're like, right. This is one of the things that happens. Like, you just eject the tape sometimes and you're in the car and you're so embarrassed. That was kind of the worst part.

[A]

Oh, embarrassed.

[B]

You were just embarrassed.

[A]

But you know what?

[B]

I was trying to pull. I didn't tell you this. I was trying to pull up the car. So it wouldn't be right next to people because we were at a red light.

[A]

I know. I saw that. I know. And I feel like people did see me, but when you're throwing up, you don't care. At that point, like, I just have to get this out. But also, like, I was so embarrassed because then I just had like a bag of puke that we had to.

[B]

Like a horrible Santa Claus.

[A]

And just like. And I, in that moment, I really was like, you know, I am so glad that we have this relationship. Like, I'm so glad we're not dating, you know?

[B]

Yeah. Pretty quick.

[A]

Really earned this because I used to.

[B]

Say that about psychedelics. Somebody you can puke in front of, someone you can cry in front of. I didn't feel. I'm not saying this. I was very honest about, like, oh, I wish I was more effusive about the baby. So clearly.

[A]

Yeah, you're an honest person.

[B]

I'm an honest person.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I would go for the laugh if I was, like, grossed out. I just, I really just felt really bad for you.

[A]

I know. It was very sweet.

[B]

And like, I'm also a little self centered and going like, is this the right way to rub her back?

[A]

Yeah. You were, you were perfect. You were 100 perfect. And you did the right thing and reminded me that you had been with me through so many pukes.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And childbirth and child. When. When it was happening, I was like, you gave birth to a baby. Like, you can do this. You'll be just fine. When I'm vomiting, you can be like, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to you. And I'll be like, I know, but you're like, like Xena, the princess warrior.

[A]

Oh, man, it just sucks to throw up. It. It always has.

[B]

It's just embarrassing. There is something psychedelic about it too. Meaning it's very real. You're very present.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Everyone that's near you is very present.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Nobody. When someone's barfing in the car that you're in, you're not going, like, what am I gonna do tomorrow?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're just, where's this going? When's it gonna end? Is it go? Am I gonna be involved in some.

[A]

That's what you're thinking.

[B]

You're just wondering, like, how many?

[A]

What does this have to do with me?

[B]

Well, I think people are wondering, like, just on a primal level, like, I can't. I can't be near this for much longer.

[A]

I mean, I get.

[B]

You know what I mean by that? I'm trying to not be too gross. I don't want to be touched by you in this state. Yeah, there's like a leper kind of feeling.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

But anyway, we got to the hotel. You tossed your cookies, and then you tossed the bag of cookies, which is another funny thing. There's another similarity when you're. When we were driving you to the hospital to have Leela, I was like, all these people driving. It was early in the morning, but I was like, there are people on the road. They don't know. There's a guy driving his wife to the hospital to give birth. She's in labor.

[A]

She's on all fours, dreaming.

[B]

Yeah, you never think of that.

[A]

That.

[B]

And yeah, you also never think that lady's holding a bag. It's probably filled with her own puke.

[A]

Oh, God. And I was like, you were holding.

[B]

A bag and you just threw it in a garbage can.

[A]

I was like, you cannot pull up to the Four Seasons. I will not walk in holding a bag of my own. Throw up with all those basketball players.

[B]

I know.

[A]

No way.

[B]

And they tried. They're like, let me get that for you. Oh, my God.

[A]

Mean. Even just crossing the street and putting it in the trash. I was like, everybody must know this is full of puke.

[B]

No, I watched. And that's what was so hilarious, was no one knows this is filled with puke. God, why would they? It's like a Gelson's bag.

[A]

Oh, my God. It's. I'm still not totally well and talking about it. This.

[B]

No, I know. This is awful.

[A]

Not great.

[B]

So this is what I wanted to share. We don't have much.

[A]

Well, wait, you have to tell the rest of it then. We love it all.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I wasn't gonna forget that. So I go back, you're in the hotel.

[A]

So you go to dinner. I'm in the hotel.

[B]

Now we get you set up.

[A]

10. 10 minutes later, I'm in the bath watching Will and Grace. Feeling okay?

[B]

I do want to say yes. One of the differences. One of the things you pay for at a five. Five star, I don't know, hotel.

[A]

Four star, four star.

[B]

Who does cost. If there's a five star hotel, I don't want to stay in it because that is as fancy as I need to be.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But they're very nice. And I'm like, they kept bringing a.

[A]

Gatorade, which, hello, Gatorade's delicious and very.

[B]

High on the kimlin.

[A]

It's been so long since I've had gatorade. Okay. So the Kimlin scale is the thing that Pete made up, which is the.

[B]

Scale which we might have called the Kimpton scale.

[A]

It always changes. I think at one point, it was the Gremlin.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The Kimlin is the one. I think I'm sticking with. How much does something taste like how you expected it to taste?

[A]

Yes. Okay. So I. I put Girl Scout cookies.

[B]

Samoa is very high on the Kimlin.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That's why they're so popular.

[A]

I put red Gatorade very low on that. The Kimlin scale, like, you know, weeks ago, when we were talking about this.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And you thought that I was. It was one of the ones that we really disagreed on.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And I just haven't had a red Gatorade in a very long time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But then I had one yesterday or two days ago, and I was like, oh, my God. This is exactly what. What it. I would think it would taste like. And then I was talking to my brother on the phone about it, and I realized it's because when I was a kid, I was so used to, like, Hawaiian Punch that. That Gatorade tasted, like, watered down and salty to me.

[B]

Red Gatorade is Hawaiian Punch for adult over 22.

[A]

Yeah. And then my brother was like, have you tasted Hawaiian Punch in your adulthood?

[B]

Intense.

[A]

He was like, it's the syrup that they use for snow cones, basically. It's, like, thick.

[B]

It's disgusting, and it's got, like, a medicinal feeling.

[A]

Yeah. Terrible. So when you.

[B]

I like it. That guy on the front. That's the perfect new category for the Kimlin, which mascots match the product perfectly. Because the guy that. I'm not one of those people that says, what do you say for. I don't want to say cracked out.

[A]

What do you say for cracked out?

[B]

But somebody who's, like, strung out, someone who's, like, on a speedy drug, very pale, and your hair is crazy. That's the Hawaiian Punch guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's what Hawaiian Punch is.

[A]

That's what it makes you. Bees.

[B]

That's what makes you bees.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm gonna say the Honey Nut Cheerios Be.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Very good.

[A]

Yeah. Great.

[B]

I'm gonna say he's a nine.

[A]

I'm gonna say Tony the tiger 100 accurate.

[B]

Tony. I. I like. I can't give it up for a baby. But my phase right now for that tiger, for your observation that Tony the tiger is a 10. Perfect. Tony the tiger is a 10. The polar bears for Coca Cola are a 10.

[A]

We might have to get some Frosted Flakes today. Because that's one of the few things that's sounding good to me.

[B]

Well, going back to the point that I kept trying to make, but I kept forgetting was comedy. We need it. The reason why we forgive it for going over the line sometimes, which it does, is because we need it so badly. So we've been, like, in this, like, pressure cooker.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

At a very nice hotel. But I'm just saying, pressure cook. And we're not even halfway through that story.

[A]

No.

[B]

When you. You watched Naked Gun on the flight. And I was like, we're gonna watch the original Naked Gun tonight.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And eat Frosted Flakes. And I'm fucking dying of over here.

[A]

At the beginning of that flight, I was in the worst mood. I get in, like, I was as.

[B]

We were in the line. We both were.

[A]

We all.

[B]

We were in line. I. It's such a weird thing. We had a whole episode about this where I was like, this isn't gonna help.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But all at once, it hit me how much it cost to go on this trip. That did not work.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Here's the broad strokes of the rest of the trip, by the way. Leela and I go to Casa Bonita. Leela throws up in Sam and Ariella's car.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

On the way there. I get there, I'm just like, okay. I drop Val off. Keep in mind, I was just sick for about eight days.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm so over sick culture. When you start a sickness and you haven't been sick in a while. Saltines and red Gatorade and Coca Cola and all that stuff is just like, yeah, I haven't done this in a while. It's kind of fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm so over it. I did it for so long. I want to drop you off. And I obviously made sure you were taking care of it. I was, like, really happy to get out of there. I was like, I don't need that. I don't need blinds drawn. I don't need small room. I don't need barfing. I just want to see our friends. So I go there, they're like, leela barfed in the car. So Leland has it. Sam, who's the long suffering. That's the word for him, meaning the guy who takes it for the team more than anybody. He's going to the Dollar Tree to buy baking soda and some spray and some paper towels. He does the bulk of the cleaning. I cleaned one of the mats. It was my kid. I should have done it more.

[A]

Oh, I hate that.

[B]

I just.

[A]

No, no, no, no, it's fine. I understand. But I just hate.

[B]

I did. I was cleaning barf. Yeah, I was cleaning barf and offered to have the car cleaned. And that offer still stands because I don't think they did. So Sam was just putting, you know, baking soda down. So I had this kid who just yakked in the car. That's a bad feeling when some. Your kid barfs in your friend's car.

[A]

Yeah. We're like, okay, they already have two and they have. And a newborn.

[B]

And we're like, we don't want to give the baby whatever this is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Ariella at this point doesn't know that I had an illness because I. I had been over it for four or five days.

[A]

No. Yeah. A week. Over a week.

[B]

Over a week.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So we're like. It's not that.

[A]

I really didn't think.

[B]

We're still not sure it was that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I'm like, well, we don't think it's what I had because that's. That was over a week ago. And she's like, what did you have? And I'm like, oh, boy. So we're clean and puke. I'm explaining not to worry. And then we go in. We go into the restaurant. The restaurant is exactly where you wouldn't want to be if you're sick. It's. It's got the smell of pirates.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's got water. A lot of indoor water features. There's bands, there's magicians, there's puppet shows and cave diving inside. I'm saying this is a magical place, and I'd love to go another time. Leela seems a thousand percent better.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She seems like, okay, it's obviously altitude. She just had a little moment, but she doesn't seem ill. Yeah. She goes in, she's rocking. We go. We have dinner. Leela's not eating. That's a little sus.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then we go into, like, Black Bart's cave, where you look for his treasure. It's like. It's exactly like what you're picturing. It's like kind of that Disneyland material. We go in, and Leela's going real fast ahead of me. There are all these things that are going like. Like, you know, like haunted house style.

[A]

Go back.

[B]

Like, a lot of that. That betrays the surprise.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And is also surprising in its own way. We get to the. The gold in the middle of the cave, and I see Leland. She's. She's. I'm not trying to be funny. She looks like a. A Jewish person.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

At the Wailing Wall. Wailing Wall, yeah. So she's bowing like that. She's doing like a repetitive. And I'm like, she's doing a bit. She's bowing.

[A]

Yeah. She's bowing to the treasure. Which she would do that.

[B]

She would. Because she loves. She's like, I love gold. I want. I want gold.

[A]

Money and gold.

[B]

I thought she was like, what I would have done as a kid is like, I believe this is real gold. Please give it to me.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So I see her, she's buying. I look again. She's not. She's barfed again. Shout out to the Casa Bonita staff, who were all over it. It was mostly water. Two. They had bags. They were ready.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're like. They don't have roller coasters, but they're ready.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Nobody shamed us. It was nice, but I was like, we gotta get the fuck outta here. Then I took her back to the hotel and then that preceded the bulk of our.

[A]

And she threw up in the lobby at the. Oh, at the Four Seasons.

[B]

I get to the Four Seasons. I. I'm in the. The valet. I'm driving Sam and Ariella's. I think it's worth noting, very small car.

[A]

Yeah. So this is.

[B]

I look funny in the vlog.

[A]

This is the car that I threw up in the bag.

[B]

Yeah. A lot of yakking in the store.

[A]

So it was like I did have to send them a text that said, hey, remember the time that we flew all the way to Denver to barf in both of your cars?

[B]

We did.

[A]

When you had a newborn.

[B]

We cleaned both of them and you yakked elegantly.

[A]

Thank you. And like cleanly.

[B]

Catherine Hep. Katherine. Katherine Hepburn.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

You made it weird. Is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you out when you need it. So your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations.

[A]

Hey, everyone, it's Leah Greenberg and Ezra Levin.

[B]

You might know us as two of the lead organizers of the no Kings protests. We're also the co founders of indeb. Of all the grassroots movement organizing against Trump's regime.

[A]

And this is what's the Plan. Your weekly guide to the state of our democracy and how we fight back. This is not canned talking points. It's a real live discussion space for the pro democracy movement. We wrestle with strategy together. We take your top voted questions in real time, and we talk about the most impactful actions we can take right now.

[B]

Democracy is a participatory sport. The fascists win when we sit on the sidelines. What's the Plan Is about how we get into the game.

[A]

What's the plan? Available Friday, January 23, where every you.

[B]

Get your podcasts, subscribe, recruit, discuss, organize, and win. That's the plan. So I get to the thing. Leela has the bag that she was given at Casa Bonita, the barf bag. Is it a good sign when the restaurant has their own brand of barf bag? She's barfing. She's out of the car. But she's barfing. I get out of the car, I give the guy the key. He, you know, he looks like a door guy. He's wearing the. The uniform, kind of a general. Yeah, what is this, the revolving army? So, so they're like, I give him the keys. I go, I'm taking. I'm running Leela into the room. I gotta get her to the room. She's barfing in front of everybody. Yeah, door guy. The. The. The door guy. Is that the term?

[A]

Yeah, the basketball doorman.

[B]

The doorman is. Follows me and goes, hey, the car won't start. Is there some trick to it?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I go, I'm holding Leela, like, I have my hand on her back. I'm taking her to the elevator. I'm like, I don't know. It's. It's not my car. I'm just trying to say, like. He goes, yeah, but is there a trick to it? I go, it's not my car. Yeah, but it's not starting. Is there some sort of trick? And I wanted to say, obviously I'm in some sort of fight flight mode. And this isn't that story. I didn't, like, lose my cool or anything, but I wanted to be like, if there's a trick to it, your guess is. Your guess is as good as mine. Don't you see? And that's when. When you're staying in a very nice hotel, you get very quick to like, this is what the money is for.

[A]

Yeah. The car is your problem now, man.

[B]

Car is your problem. Figure out car. We're in room.

[A]

We gotta do room, man.

[B]

We're doing room and vomit. You do car. So I go back in the car. Now Leela's standing alone, just looking as sad as a sad little bean. And I'm just like, wait here one second. I go in the car. I can't get it to start. I get out. I go, I can't get it start. Another kid comes up. I think his name might have been Tyler. Young guy, probably 20 years old. He comes up. He goes, what's going on? I go, car won't start. There must be some trick. It's not my car. I got to get my daughter in the room. He does it. 20 shows up.

[A]

Hey, Gen Z. Tyler.

[B]

Hey, Gen Z. You get a lot of. Not today.

[A]

Not today.

[B]

Because the other guy. Older gentleman.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He wanted me to figure it out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Tyler goes, I see what's happening.

[A]

I got it.

[B]

Tyler figured it out.

[A]

I got you.

[B]

Guess what? I don't even figure that out. I go up to the room. 20 minutes go by. Now everybody's sick and laying in the bed. And you're sick. She's sick. Knock on the door. Guess who it is.

[A]

Who?

[B]

Tyler. Oh, guess what.

[A]

He has the key. No, he has the key.

[B]

No, they keep the key. But he has Gatorade.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And sparkling water. And he loves.

[A]

He.

[B]

He came up. Wow.

[A]

That is amazing.

[B]

That was really nice. That was.

[A]

Love you.

[B]

I hope it's. It's Tyler or Taylor or Tucker. It's something like that.

[A]

Love you, Tyler.

[B]

Tucker. But, I mean, a young man, and he nailed it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was really touched. Anyway, now you guys are sick and you're in the room. Yeah, And I just stayed home. Obviously, I didn't go anywhere.

[A]

So we sleep. I. The worst night sleep I've ever had. Because every time. Leela. Because early in the night, Leela does throw up again. She did it like a pro. She went from fully asleep to grabbing the bag that was right next to her that I put for her to throw up in and. Yeah. And yak. Like, clean, clean. Perfect.

[B]

So like a Four Seasons yak.

[A]

But then the rest of the night, I'm. Every time she moves, I'm worried she's throwing up. So I was just, like, awake, basically. Yeah. For all night. I slept great, and you slept great.

[B]

And then in my defense, when I was sick, I was like, when you're sick, there's nothing you can do. You're just sick.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I let you sleep. I remember I went downstairs, I kept getting up to barf when I was sick.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

So I just went downstairs and slept because I was like, we don't need to bring everybody into this. Yeah. So in my own defense, I thought it through. I was like, I mean, I could be there kind of being like, are you okay?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that will both be terrible.

[A]

I don't want you to be known for that.

[B]

Well, you're great like that.

[A]

But, yeah.

[B]

So then the next day, now we're just in Denver.

[A]

Yeah. And we can't see.

[B]

We can't see our friends.

[A]

I can't see our friends because we're sick. And we also were going to see our other friends who live there and.

[B]

Have everything got chunky.

[A]

Their. Her daughter's birthday party that we were so excited about, which we had to bail on, and Leela, obviously. So. Yeah.

[B]

So then now we're thinking. It was what I. At this point, we're like, it was what I had. We can't risk giving it to anybody.

[A]

Yeah. So we're just staying in this tiny room all day. You did have the good sense to be like, we need to go outside a little bit. Leela just complained the entire time, hated being outside. So that was kind of tense. And then we're getting all tense and stressed out at each other, and it's like, all right, back to the room. Yeah. We're on screens all day.

[B]

The only thing she can eat is sugar. She ate, like, one scoop of ice cream.

[A]

Yeah. So then, like, around 4:30, you're. You're like, I'm gonna go to dinner with Ariel and Sam. And I'm thrilled because I'm like, at least the strip is.

[B]

I also have to return the car.

[A]

And you have to.

[B]

Which, by the way, Taylor, Tucker, Tyler, you have to hold the key fob right up to the start stop button when you push it because the battery is almost dead on the fob.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's the kind of thinking you can't think when your kid is puking.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. So you go to dinner, and I.

[B]

Drop the present off at the birthday party we're gonna miss.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I go to a dispensary. Not a huge weed person, but I was like. Like, me, Sam and Ariella have had some amazing laughs smoking weed. And I'm trying to force. Yeah, not force, but I'm trying to, like, encourage a classic hang, which I had no idea.

[A]

I know that was what you were thinking.

[B]

I just.

[A]

You were just like, I'm going to dinner with them. And I was like, great. I'm so glad you guys are getting to hang out.

[B]

I. I did it all. And I'm in this car that every time I stop it, I'm worried it's not going to start. So every stop is a risk.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I went to a dispensary. Yeah, it was fine.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I have thoughts about the dispensary. It's just so funny how dispensaries are all like. You know what it is, man? Like, none of them are like. They're all just. Yeah, well, they're either like, very chic, like an Apple Store, or it's just like, you know, you get your weed here, man.

[A]

And it was.

[B]

It was the latter.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Got. Got the weed left, drove to them. All of this is taking forever again. Denver, I love you. But it was. Felt very sprawling, this trip.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Get to Sam. Then I went to a. A Shabbat dinner spontaneously with them, with them separately. They said, come meet us at our neighbor's house. And I'm so glad I did. It was one of the highlights of my entire trip. I. I can't recall their names, so I'm not going to try. They were kind of. They were interesting names. Meaning was like Kiki or something.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So I don't. Let's forget. It was. I don't think it was Kiki, but it was something like Kiki. And I don't mean Hebrew. I mean, it was like an interesting, fun name. And I could. I can't remember.

[A]

No, no, keep talking about the names.

[B]

So I'm not talking about, like, Israel. I'm not talking about, like, Geo. Anyway. What. I wish I hadn't said Israel. What I'm saying is I got. Have you been to a.

[A]

Yes. I love Sabbath. I love them. I love Shabbat dinners.

[B]

I forgot the magic of it. And I'm not saying this to. I love other cultures.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's undeniable.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's. I was like, this is thousands of years for a reason.

[A]

Yeah. There's a reason that sticks.

[B]

Respect. And I am the older person now. That's like. Because they had kids. And I'm like, look at these kids.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They have, like, culture. It's. It's so Friday, it's so Sabbath. When the prayers.

[A]

And they sing it.

[B]

And then there's a way you cut the challah and then you serve it and everybody washes their hands and.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It was so sweet.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I loved it. And I loved those people. And when you do a prayer like that or, you know, and they're singing, boy, if it just doesn't transfix you into the moment, I think even more definitely, because Sam and Ariella go to Sabbaths, Shabbats from time to time.

[A]

Yeah. I think they always do a little something.

[B]

Yeah. So then definitely for me, the novelty was like, this is like pure magic. I'm absolutely loving it. And the whole meal was imbued with that sort of like, you can feel the air on your skin kind of feel. Watching the parents and even watching Sam and Aria, I say even because they're our friends, but I saw them as parents and I saw them outside of their usual place and it was really sweet to share that time. And yeah, I just felt very lively and it was really special. And then we left and went back to their place and then you called me.

[A]

So. Yeah. So while that was happening, while you were in the special dinner, I break the news to Lila that we're not going to be able to go to the birthday party of her friend who we, you know, because that was always the plan because now we're sick and sugar only. Sugar only TV all day. Plus a major disappointment. I was also disappointed. And an illness led to such a severe tantrum.

[B]

Like the kind of tantrum that we're. Can I give it a little banner here? The kind that we just don't hear our other parent friends ever. If you have another parent friend that has a spirited child.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's like a weird. A deeply feeling kid. There's a weird look that we give each other that we're like, we're in like a different kind of cave.

[A]

Yeah. And you can usually tell because they only have one, maybe two.

[B]

Yeah. If the second one.

[A]

The second one is like, that's the thing is we're like, our friends have three kids. This is nuts. And we're like. But I don't think a. A single one of them is like this. Yeah.

[B]

With respect, we can't. We can't know. But that's our feeling.

[A]

And also with respect to Lila because she's also the raddest person. So like, wouldn't change a thing.

[B]

Even this.

[A]

Yeah. But this is like, so, you know, we've talked about it plenty on the podcast of like, she used to have these very like, animalistic exers. Exorcist style tantrums where it was like, she's screaming, she's hissing, she's scratching, she's like, she is out of control. Those took me years and years. It felt. Feels like, I mean, years to learn how to be with. But I really got to a place where I could be with that kind of tantrum.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where it was like all I Have to do is really be present.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I don't say anything or I just.

[B]

Say, like, I've seen you so many times.

[A]

Feels awful.

[B]

Calmly sit in front of the door to block.

[A]

To block. To keep her safe.

[B]

To be like, I know. We're just.

[A]

We're going to be in this room.

[B]

I can handle it. It feels bigger than the whole world right now. I get it. You're a master at that.

[A]

Thank you. This wasn't.

[B]

That.

[A]

Wasn't that she has stopped having those tantrums, but now she just has more words accessible to her.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So this was the first. First, probably, of many, including her teenage years. Official tantrum that included the, like, I hate you. I hate you. Just screaming. Screaming that over and over. You're the worst mommy in the world. I wish anyone was my mommy except for you.

[B]

I wish you didn't exist.

[A]

I wish you didn't exist. Like, And. And, you know, I, like, had. I had known that I probably had the type of kid who was gonna say like, that to me. But, like, I. The first time it happened, I'm already sick and vulnerable and, like, I just. I just couldn't. I just didn't have it in me.

[B]

And so understandably.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you. So I. I tried. And also, we're in a hotel room, so she. And she's screaming in a way that seems like if I heard a child screaming that way, I would be like, this kid needs help. I need someone.

[B]

The Four Seasons. We assume you have a bad relationship with your kids. The screaming will go unreported.

[A]

I assume you have an entitled, spoiled child. That's.

[B]

You're not saying that about Lila. No.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

But yes.

[A]

Everybody else's kids.

[B]

That is everybody else's kids. Not us. Certainly not us.

[A]

But, yeah. So I am just, like, trying everything I can, and I'm just not reacting.

[B]

That's one of my worst things. If Leela. Leela's had meltdowns in other hotels.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And when I'm like, people are sleeping and they can hear us. Yeah. Like, I'll take a meltdown when it's just in the privacy of your own home. But I'm like, this is rough.

[A]

It's taking all my strength. So when she's saying this, I just go, like, I can tell. This feels really awful. This feels really awful. And she's like, no, I hate you. And I'm like, yeah, you feel really disappointed. You know, just, like, doing that and then going into the bathroom, closing the door and sobbing. Like, sobbing my eyes out. And Then, like, wiping my eyes, trying to make it look like I'm not crying, and then coming out and being like, I'm sorry, boo. I know you feel so bad. You know, whatever. And so I do that for, like, 15 minutes, and then I really am tapped out, and I just, like, text you, can you come back? Leela's been screaming.

[B]

And we hadn't. We were still putting three children down. And by that, I mean I was watching them. Them do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was getting good time. And with the other kids, we were having nice bonding time anyway. But we hadn't smoked our J's, and we hadn't.

[A]

And I didn't even know that that was what the plan was. I.

[B]

This wouldn't have been a better story if I had just gotten incredibly baked.

[A]

I know that. I know.

[B]

Like, could you come home?

[A]

Which happened to me, by the way, the first time I ever went out. After Lila was born, I went to my friend's house and just, like, smoked weed with her on the porch. And you called me, and you were like, she won't stop crying. And I was like, oh, no.

[B]

So that does happen.

[A]

Yeah, it does happen.

[B]

But I was ha. Like, I was very sad to leave.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I actually said to Sam, I was like, I love. Even if it's my own birthday, if it gets canceled, there's a part of me that likes it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I didn't want to leave that one, but I didn't even think about it. It's just not. It's just not how we do. You would never be like, figure it out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I was like, I'm sure it'll be. By the time I get there, I'm sure it'll be figured out. And what if it's not?

[A]

And you did also say that, like, in the kindest way. You're like, you know, so I'll be there in half an hour. Which I knew was you saying, like, you don't think it's gonna be resolved by then. But here's what I knew in that moment. I was like, all I can do is pacify her, and then she's gonna lose it again once I stop.

[B]

No, we talk about this all the time, like, parenting. And we usually leads to us saying, so much respect and admiration for single parents because, like, the tap out. And single parents have help and friends, I'm assuming. But, like, you need somebody to tap out in these moments.

[A]

And I would say, like. I mean, I. You can. You're the one that can say this or not. And you tell me If I'm wrong, but, like, I never do that.

[B]

You never do that.

[A]

I all. I, No, I, I, I always am.

[B]

Like, when I left, Ariella was like, sam wouldn't do this.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I think she was, like, grossing him. And Sam was like, well, yeah. Maybe I'd be like, you know, figure it out. Because we were, we were talking about it. You're gonna get there. It's gonna be resolved.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I. We're not talking too much about salmon Ariella, are we?

[A]

No, I don't think so. I mean, whatever we're doing. Talking about our experience and they were a big part of it. I know. And I. So this is just like my worst nightmare because I'm even sort of like, I was in such a fugue state that I kind of can't believe I even did that. Like, that's so unlike me to say. Like, can you come home and help me?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I would, but it was just that I was like, I know how this goes. And either I put her in front of the TV and delay the tantrum, or I let this play out. But we're in a hotel room and I'm at my wit's end and I can't let. And I can't tap out.

[B]

This is why I'm glad we're here.

[A]

Trapped in room. I'm trapped in room. And I feel sick.

[B]

It's underreported and over deleted that there are nights like this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I delete them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm glad we're, you know, talking about it because there are people, their parents and all sorts of people that need to. The solidarity of it.

[A]

But I also. Yeah, so. But as soon. But unfortunately. So I put her in the bath and let her watch something. And, like, I'm trying hoping the water will calm her down. And. Yeah. By the time she. You got home, she was In a better way for sure. Yeah.

[B]

I walked in and she's.

[A]

But I. But I think also you coming home, like, changed the environment.

[B]

And I was ready to. I was thinking of all the moves.

[A]

And, and at this point.

[B]

Can I get her in the pool?

[A]

Remember at this point, I guess in my defense, I just thought. All I know is that you're like, I'm just gonna go over there for dinner. And that was three hours ago.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I was like, you had a dinner, you went there for three hours and you hung out with our friends. This isn't necessary. I know, but I just, I. This is.

[B]

You didn't know that I had. First of all, it Took me one of those hours to get there.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't know that because I didn't know you ran the dispensary errand either. And, like, you know, I just. I. I just really was like, you did it. And can. Can it be over now?

[B]

No, Bubba.

[A]

And. But then. So then as soon as Leela's, like, asleep, and you were, like, holding me, and it felt so good, I was like, this is what I needed the whole time, and you were sick. But then I was like, you know, then I got the full story that you guys had this whole plan, and they were putting the kids down, and you were gonna smoke weed and laugh and eat pizza and that our friends were super sad that you had to leave. And I was like, this is my nightmare. This is why I don't ask for what I need. Like, that's what the story that I tell you can tell.

[B]

This is your peak of pain.

[A]

This is my peak of pain is like, I see, like, never bother people with your own needs because it hurts everyone else.

[B]

I also said with full awareness that certainly Sam will hear this. I comfort myself immediately going, one of the things I don't like about weed, I love it when I smoke it. If it had no hangover, I would smoke it constantly. No. Yeah, I just. I just. Not. Maybe not constantly, but a lot. I. I said, I won't have a weed hangover tomorrow. And like, the first thing that goes in the. In the fog of smoking a lot of weed is my spiritual stuff, which is, like, the backbone of how I interface with reality. When that goes, I just have, like, some nothing day. Can't even listen to the things I like to listen to or read the things I like to read. Everything's confusing. And just like. It's like Flowers for Algernon. Suddenly I'm the guy that's just like, I saw titties today. Like, it's just, like, very dumb.

[A]

Yeah, dumb.

[B]

And also, I would have eaten an entire pizza and slept like, hogshit. So, yeah, even though I wanted to do it, I immediately shifted to just like, you saved me from these two things. Plus, I got a rocking night's sleep.

[A]

I know, but you're good at that. And I did. And so, you know, like, that helped me not feel bad for you, which I really did at the beginning, but I do feel really bad.

[B]

Well, that's what's interesting. This is. But this is valuable, right? So the peak of pain for you was, I fucked up this. Friends having fun, which is your favorite thing? Yeah, the peak of Pain for me was once all of the schlepping around settled down and there was no more tasks. Now we're just at the airport.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

My fucking brain, dude. Like, there's just a part of us that likes to torture ourselves. And I don't even. You know, as we always say on the show, when I'm resourced and clear, I don't think in terms of, like, that didn't work. That trip didn't work.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But at the airport, it just hit me all at once. We're in line for security, and I'm just like, baby, I think. And I put the number together, what the trip cost because we had to move our flights, which meant we had to cancel flights, and there weren't any flights today, and we had to rebook other flights, so it was like double flights with a credit. And I was just like. And then we did get this nice hotel, and then there were all those Ubers and all those meals, and I just. Just to torture myself.

[A]

Why the math for how much it costs to have a fiesta?

[B]

It's like finding out your wife's having an affair or finding a box of letters. Don't read the letter.

[A]

That really was.

[B]

It's like the money version of reading the letters. Why are you torturing yourself?

[A]

Just for solidarity. I had that, too. While Lela was having her tantrum. Like, that's when it was dawning on me what a fiasco the trip was, and that we spent all this money to just be sick in a.

[B]

In a terrible place to be sick.

[A]

And. And I was like. So I was already upset as well that we had to leave and that.

[B]

We didn't see our friends and we didn't have the epic hang.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

The dinner. We had to leave. Lila didn't even eat. We didn't see the magic. We didn't see the band.

[A]

So it was all dawning on me. And then Leela saying, like, please, can't we stay? Like, please? And I was just like, I'm also realizing this and hating that we are having this.

[B]

No, it hit me later. Like, we've always said the Steve Burton joke. When a big truck goes by, then the air hits you. There was a delay, and, God, I got out of it the second we started recording this podcast. I know I did everything I could to try to. I ate something. I. Whatever. Whatever I did, it was all in effort to just feel okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it wasn't working. And I was like. And then. And we don't really have time to get into this now. We've actually. We've done an hour and 20.

[A]

I know. And I have something else that. About the airport that I want to tell you about.

[B]

Well, we've done this so many times. I just. I. I've been doing a lot of good spiritual stuff lately, and I found this new teacher named John Wheeler, and he's really blowing me away. Absolutely incredible and really in line with Rupert, but, like, just a different approach. And I'm not going to get into all that, but I listen to him on the plane and stuff, and I'm like, oh, my God, it's true. I'm present. I'm aware it's here. You don't have to wait for something. It's here. Whatever it is, it has to be here. It's what you are. Like, he's real. Like, stop. It's what you are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, embrace the reality that what you're looking for is yourself. And that's the joke. And just recognize it and then explore the nature of yourself. If you. If you stop thinking about the moment, what's wrong with it? And it's nothing. You torture yourself. But here I am torturing myself, and I swear it made it worse that I was just like, not only am I miserable and really just not liking anybody or anything except you girls, of course.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm just like. And I can't apply what my favorite new guy is telling me or what Rupert tells me. And it sucks. We don't even have time to get into that. But I know how to Val myself a little bit. I'm just like, it's all part of it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And this show helps me realize it's all part of it and the story of it.

[A]

And what good part of it is that teaching if you just weaponize it against yourself in your most vulnerable moments.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, it's just there to make you feel, like, not achieving.

[B]

Just another diet I'm cheating on, basically.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I thought I was off carbs, and.

[A]

I'm pouring point of any of that.

[B]

Nacho cheese in my own butthole.

[A]

Yeah. Well, this is somewhat similar where it's just, like, I. This is how I knew I was in a terrible mood. So basically, yeah, we're just in a sat. We're in sour puss mood the whole time we're at the airport. Leela's, like, kind of turned it around. She was in a little bit of a better mood, but then, like, she went into a store and wanted something, and we said no. And then it was just like. Then she. You're really Frustrated because.

[B]

Oh, I tapped out real fast.

[A]

And then she's very frustrated. I'm still feeling, like, ill. I have a terrible headache and a stomachache. And I. And I'm also just like, like, super bummed out. And like, what the hell was that?

[B]

That's also what was happening to me is I. I'm realizing I'm bummed out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm angry. It's coming out in the cheap, low hanging thing of anger that costs all this money. I. I fly for a living. On my week off, I'm gonna fly. So I have the fun of my heavy ass backpack and a tiny ass window seat and fucking two hours in the sky playing my dumb poker game. And I fucking. This is what I do for fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I didn't even make money. I lost money. And then. And then I go in the store and I'm trying to get Lila some treats. And like five minutes earlier, she was like, dad, can I get a chocolate milk? I'm like, yeah, baby, you know you've been sick. You gotta get something in you chocolate milk. Go ahead. And she's like, you're the best dad ever. Literally five minutes later, I'm trying to get myself something to eat in another store, and she wants another, like, sugar, sugar drink. And I'm like, no. And she wouldn't let up. Let up. And I was like. It was a real. I don't know why, but that's it. Like, yeah, I couldn't handle it.

[A]

Yeah. So anyway, so, like, we're all in terrible moods. And then Lila, you're, like, upset because of that interaction, and Leela walks out and she's crying, and so I'm, like, hugging her.

[B]

Wait, are you gonna tell me about the woman?

[A]

Yes. Because we didn't even get to talk about this.

[B]

I can't wait.

[A]

So I'm hugging Leila, and. And it's, you know, she's upset, but it's not that big of a tantrum. It's certainly not. I hate you. You're the worst mommy ever.

[B]

It's like she's mad.

[A]

She's mad. Yeah. And. And so we're. And we're trying, you know, both of us are. We have zero tolerance for it, though. So we're just sort of like, you know, you like, we're just sort of like, lee, this is why you can't go into stores. You can't.

[B]

Well, that was the bitchiest thing I said. I was like, this is on me, Lila. I need to know you. I need to remember. You can't go in stores. That was such.

[A]

I. I regret I said something bitchy to her, too. Oh, yeah, because also, I did apologize.

[B]

Sincerely later, which is the hardest thing to do when you're still mad.

[A]

Still mad.

[B]

And I'm like, baby, I'm. I'm. I'm sorry. We had a dust up.

[A]

Yeah, I know one of the things.

[B]

That happened, which is great, but she.

[A]

Was also not ready to hear it. Like, she stayed pretty mad. And so anyway, this woman is seeing the whole thing, and she's just seeing me hugging Leela and Lila being sad and me saying, like, you already got chocolate milk. I know it's. You really wanted that, but, like, you know, whatever. And. And. And then, like, I walk around to go and sit, like, next to you guys or whatever and pass this woman, and she goes, I'm sending you love. And I'm like, oh, thanks. I appreciate that. That was nice. I was like, okay, great. You know, Cut to five minutes later. You and I are in both still in pissy moods. Lila now is playing Angry Birds on my phone. So she's fine because I've sedated her with screens. That's the other thing is that I keep being like. Like, this is the worst. Like, I keep trying to not parent this way. I know, but she's just watching screens, and I keep giving her screens and.

[B]

Chocolate milk, and I'm giving her chocolate milk, and I'm like, I. I try to deal with her. I don't even listen to Jordan Peterson. I don't know Jordan Peterson. I'm not a Jordan Peterson person. I'm just saying in my mind, I was like, it's my fault. I. I didn't raise. Like, I did something wrong. Not that there's something wrong with Leila, but I did something wrong. She can't go in a store without getting another thing.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And then I heard Jordan Peterson be like, well, you did do something wrong.

[A]

It is.

[B]

It is your fault. You did do it. You should have done something. That's called resilience, and it's in the book of Exodus.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I. I feel like if you were.

[A]

A Jordan Peterson, I don't know anything.

[B]

About it, you would be dying.

[A]

Maybe. I hope there are people out there.

[B]

First swing at Jordan Peterson.

[A]

Does he talk like that?

[B]

Of course it is your fault. And I'm sorry, but it is. And you want an excuse, we'll get in line.

[A]

That is one of the first again, I wish I knew that reference.

[B]

I believe I'm enjoying it.

[A]

I believe you. Yeah. That it Is triggering for both of us when we've given her something and then she starts to like, cry because she wants something else. Because we're like.

[B]

And I'm trying to explain that spoiled the child.

[A]

We ruined the child.

[B]

I'm like, I just get like, you're trying to introduce a concept like chocolate milk know means no other drink later.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's just.

[A]

But anyway, so no, I'm afraid of her. No, she's just in the other room watching tv. So. Because we're still using screens to help us survive.

[B]

Well, that's the other voice in my head. I'm like. And I. And I'm getting emails, being like, where's the episode?

[A]

And I'm like, the podcast.

[B]

I'm alone. I can't do this. And you're like, we'll do it in the hotel. And I'm like, I need to have something to happen. I can't vice that at one point, it's like, I can't just be at a laptop in a bathtub going, what's happening, weirdos? Like, I need. I need to be in the studio.

[A]

We didn't really have anything to give. Like when we sat down to do it. This episode.

[B]

At least we're in a room.

[A]

I know I'm missing.

[B]

I stand by. But then I would. Of all the weeks, sometimes I'm like, well, it might come out on Saturday or Sunday. This is the one time they're like, we really wanted to be out in January. I'm like, like, why? Like, I get really pissy.

[A]

So anyway, this is coming out fresh for you guys. The day that it. That we record it.

[B]

I'm still feeling this.

[A]

Yeah. So anyway, she. So we have that little whatever. It's just like a. Every five minutes for us with this deeply feeling kid.

[B]

Yes. Wouldn't change for anything.

[A]

The radist. But we. So she's playing Angry Birds. Being sedated on adult.

[B]

Which, by the way, you Angry Birds with all your upgrades and your pop ups. Eat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You had a good game going and now you have ads and like, you.

[A]

I know you. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, gotta knock down a wood structure with a bird. Let's ruin it with the 90s Internet.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're gonna put in pop ups and Jeeves. You're wondering what happened to Jeeves. He's an Angry Birds. You Roku, Rodoku or whatever you are greedy.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. So anyway, so she's playing that greedy game.

[B]

And I'd say that to the CEO, who I'm assuming is a bird and angry. He's gonna be angry.

[A]

Well, now who's the angry bird?

[B]

Yeah, I'd like to give them an angry bird. Great bird.

[A]

Yeah. And she walks up to me and goes, I see what I did was working. Or I see what I did worked.

[B]

And I was like, oh, this is the woman.

[A]

Yeah. This is the woman who said, sending you love.

[B]

I see what I did worked.

[A]

And I was like. I wanted to turn around and be like, what the. You saying to me? The.

[B]

You said. The.

[A]

You said. And she was. And I was like, oh, yeah. And she was like, I just, you know, this is what I do. I just, Like, I just send the energy and I. Like, she was being kind of vague about it. She was. She was like, but this is what I do. This is.

[B]

She didn't have hard data.

[A]

Yeah. She was like, this is what I do. This is the offering that I put out in the world. And she goes, and the only thanks or the. The only payment I need is thank you. And I was like, oh, well, yeah, thank you. Like, still being like, what?

[B]

I have a cold sweat going.

[A]

I know. I was. I was furious. And she was a lovely, kooky lady. Like, it. She was laughing and sweet and, like, probably if I was in a better mood, I would have been like, thanks for energetically holding space or whatever. But. But I just. And then I went, this is my one little rebellion while I was being so fake that there was no way she even knew.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where I was like, oh, yeah? Yeah. And I was like, thank you. And she's like, yeah, yeah. You know, it's just. It's something that I do, and. And I just work with the. The energy. And I pulled her energy in and. And I pulled your energy in and. Really. And I was just like, yeah, so you deserve the credit.

[B]

You said that.

[A]

Yeah. And then she went, well, you know, what you were doing works, too, but sometimes it's not enough. And I was just like, wow. I wanted to be like, move away from me. Move away from me.

[B]

I know there are people that would do that.

[A]

Move away from me. I kind of wish. I mean, there was no. I don't wish I had it.

[B]

Just like, I thought in that moment, I was like, I want to interject. I wasn't listening. I didn't hear that. But I was like, I could interject, but then I'm going to say something, and then I'm going to have to double back and, like, tap dance to get this woman right with me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not that I'm not a tough guy. I'm Saying, I'm going to say some shitty joke and feel bad about it. I don't want to do that.

[A]

Yeah, I was. I just tapped in. It took all my strength to try.

[B]

You deserve the credit is so badass.

[A]

But she didn't. But she, like, didn't even receive it the way it was intended, really, which is good. It was also, like, coded on purpose.

[B]

And this is what I do, and all I ask is things.

[A]

And she was like. And then she went. And just so, you know. Well, she said, does she often get like that in places like this? And I was like, well, you know, it's just like this. Sorry. I just looked back to see if she's here. I was like, you know, there's. It's just a lot of stores with a lot of toys, and it's.

[B]

I heard you say that.

[A]

You know, and she's like, yeah, it's. Oh, it's stimulating. And she was. She was like, I. I was like that as a kid, too, and I didn't understand it. So she's like, just so you know, you always can just pull her energy in and pull your energy in. And. And, you know, and I was like, okay, appreciate you. And then I just see.

[B]

Can we say Leela was on a phone?

[A]

She was. Yeah. I wanted to be like, mother.

[B]

And we're still mad.

[A]

I didn't do it. She's just pissed off on a screen. All that happened is a screen got in front of her.

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

Nothing was resolved. Nothing is fixed. And. And I was like, like. And I had. I. Like, I have been there through.

[B]

No, I know. And you're. And you've. You're the queen of it. It's a tricky thing. Do you remember when we were on the beach at Laguna? In Laguna.

[A]

I. Yes.

[B]

And that guy came up to me, and I was feeling very Laguna and very free and happy to talk to this guy. And he started schlocking on the most basic spirituality I've ever heard in my life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She.

[A]

He's schlock. Schlocked on it.

[B]

He schlocked it on. And he was. Basic stuff.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just like, you know, you're not. Your thoughts. You're the. You're the presence that's aware of those thoughts. And I was looking at him like, who do you think you're talking to right now? Basically, how you had the right to feel in that moment. But what I did was I kept trying to be like, no, I understand. But he was just on his trip. He just wanted to say his thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then keep kung fu. The legend continues down the beach.

[A]

Well, this is why you never used.

[B]

That as a verb before.

[A]

Yeah, it was great. This is why you deserve the credit is the best thing to say.

[B]

It's the funniest. It's the best choice because you could.

[A]

Have said it to that guy too. Like, you're. I'm just going, oh, it's not enough for you to do energetic work. We all have to know that you're doing it. Like, you can't silent. You can't silently just send love. And then. And even tell yourself the story of, like, I fixed that child. You have to make sure that I know that it was you that did it.

[B]

That's brilliant.

[A]

It was.

[B]

You can't just do it.

[A]

Infuriating thing.

[B]

But this is. That's that guy on the beach. I'm just saying this to relate. It's like not. It's not enough to quote, unquote, figure it out.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You have to tell me you figured it out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you figured out it's all one. And you want to tell me you.

[A]

Still need the credit figuring that out.

[B]

But you still want. Want a piece of yourself to look at you and go, you figured it out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like it goes back to John Wheeler, who I love very much. People. Somebody commented. It was so sweet. I was just looking at the comments on his YouTube videos. They're just old, old podcasts that are posted. I recommend each and every one of them. Somebody commented, like, John Wheeler. Unbelievable. Just, he's so clear. And whenever I'm feeling lost, he just shakes off the dust for me. Something beautiful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And someone went, shakes off the dust. There's no one there and there's nothing to do. And I'm like, then who the fuck are you commenting to?

[A]

Yeah, totally.

[B]

You came on YouTube, you read the comments to say there's no one there and nothing for it to do.

[A]

Yeah. Then why did you take the time to type it out?

[B]

Yes. Why are you writing that?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

The non dual community. Not a fan. Not a fan.

[A]

Well, it's like any religion.

[B]

Any religion.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Not a fan.

[A]

Well, yeah. And I, I really. It just goes back to like, I just firmly believe if you see a kid melting down, don't be parent. And a parent reacting in however way they are mustering to react. The only thing. If you, like, deign to say anything to them, the only thing you should say is, been there, you're doing great. That's it.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Just been there, doing great.

[B]

We do that. When we see parents having hard drop offs, we've been there.

[A]

You're doing great. That's all you can say. And because even if they're not doing great in that moment, it's probably because they've done great so many times and they literally have no great left in them.

[B]

That's right. And your non great is only defined in juxtaposition to all the great that you give.

[A]

Exactly. Like, it's the absolute worst time to give advice. Certainly to take credit for any sort of invisible.

[B]

Like, who imagined, especially when it didn't work. You could have cooked an egg on Leila at that moment.

[A]

She was still seething.

[B]

She was pissed. Which, by the way, now that I'm all resourced and happy and we vented and it's just so nice to connect with you like this. I'm like, I just love that Leela and I have little dust even that I know. And when we've been playing Zelda, we just got the master sword. Don't worry about it. And like, when we're playing, we have a dynamic. Like, she's like, you should go up that tree. I'm like, I'm gonna go up that tree. I just have to get this mushroom first. I don't think you need any more of those mushrooms. I'm like, well, I think we do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because you never let me cook. And that's why we run out of hearts when we're fighting. She's like, it's cause stamina is the better way. And like, we're not. We've talked a lot about how spirited she is. She's fierce and wild and alive.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Every part of it. But every part of it I love.

[A]

So she's kind of a lot like our friend Ariella. To bring Ariella back, who told me that when she was a teenager, she would scream at her parents, I hate you and I hope you die. And I was like, yeah, Leela's gonna absolutely say that to us. But the re. The thing I love about Ariella is she is like, a hundred percent alive. She's like the most alive person. And so is Lila. So that's like, it's like a very small price to pay to have just a fully alive person in your life. It's incredible. And also both of us, I think.

[B]

She'S close to the group.

[A]

Grew up. Yeah. Envying, like, families who fought but were close.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Because we had families.

[B]

The Mamma Mia.

[A]

I had a family who, like, we didn't fight, but it was because Everything. We just didn't talk about anything that was unpleasant.

[B]

Yeah. And me and my brother graded the fights like the Olympics.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Held up big cards.

[A]

Yeah, you weren't.

[B]

But even, Even that was ignored.

[A]

They didn't even care about their score.

[B]

Yeah. And the scores are given to an empty coliseum.

[A]

But so, like, the fact that Leela feels so safe to say you are the word. And even later that night, she said to you, like, she said, like, the way that she apologized, I'm putting in quotes, quotes for it was. She was just like. She was like, ah, you're the worst mommy in the world. Like, said it kind of jokingly. And then you said, like, lee, that. That even hurts my feelings or something when you say that to mom. And she was like, oh, well, then you really wouldn't want to. Wanted to have been here for the tantrum I just had. I was like, I hate you. You're the worst one.

[B]

She was trying to work it out.

[A]

She's like, trying to make it light. Like we're already trying to kind of talking about it and laughing about it.

[B]

Then it becomes a family story like the fiasco trip to Denver.

[A]

Keep it crispy. Keep it crispy.

[B]

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[A]

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