Podcast Summary: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

We Made It Weird #241

Date: February 20, 2026
Host: Pete Holmes
Co-Host: Valerie

Episode Overview

This week’s “We Made It Weird” is a classic blend of Pete and Valerie’s signature playful banter, introspective musings, and hilarious observations about life, friendships, male vulnerability, creative expression, and the weirdness that binds us all. The duo reflect on adult friendships, the nuances of performing, male/female dynamics, safe spaces in relationships, and the joys and awkwardness of being unabashedly oneself. As always, the episode oozes warmth and a quirky, openhearted honesty.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Miami Shows, Ticket Woes, and Regional Vibes

• Pete laments sluggish ticket sales for his upcoming Miami shows (01:00), playfully pondering why his comic style may not “fit” Miami’s club culture, poking fun at his “Midwestern guy” persona and riffing on regional differences:

  “I get the feeling I don’t smell good enough. I’m not as… I don’t have the rhythms. Even the whites in Miami… eating ham like they’ve never eaten ham.” (11:40)

• Discussion of "club culture" vs. "food people" (14:10):

  • Pete admits he has never “pregamed” for the club with drinks, preferring pre-dinner pizza over pre-party booze.
  • Delivers the gem: “You want to talk to me, it’d be like, should we eat, like, a pizza before dinner? Yeah, that would be fun for me. I’d be like, this is wicked. We’re gonna get laid tonight… by that, I mean some sort of Alfredo sauce.” (14:09)

2. Music Industry Then vs. Now

• Nostalgic riff on old standards and performing arts, comparing the "lower" barriers in the 1940s-50s to today’s hyper-competition due to abundance and easier access (16:00).

  • Pete: “You could go into a record booth and go, shooby doo bop... My girl likes to smile a lot. They’d be like, ‘still kind of horny!’” (16:10)

• Valerie and Pete both agree:

  “There were fewer people doing it, but life was harder. If we find a turnip, we’re set.” (17:50)

3. Bit on Rituals, Superstition, and Ghost Stories

• Valerie shares a family ritual for Chinese New Year with their daughter Leela—writing down things to let go, burning sage and palo santo, and honoring “China” as Leela’s fascination (21:00–22:50).
• Hilariously reveals a moment of ghostly paranoia when her dog Bo barked, only to realize he was “freaked out” by her hat.

  Valerie: “I burned sage and was like, ‘If anyone is still in here, I respectfully ask you to leave.’” (24:28)

4. Being Yourself in Friendship—Vulnerability, Safety, and Allowance

• Pete and Valerie dive into the concept of permission in relationships and friendships—how being allowed to “be too much” leads to intimacy and lasting bonds.

  • “If you just give me the benefit of the doubt that I was trying to be funny and didn’t think it would hurt anyone’s moment, then I will love you.” (51:03)

• Pete’s “ooh” face story:

  • Recounts, to hilarious effect, how he accidentally cockblocked a friend at his daughter’s play by visibly “ooh”-ing at the prospect of romantic chemistry, only to be directly observed by both parties.

    “[He] just goes, ‘You’re the worst wingman in the world.’ I just forgot that whole culture of, like, subtlety… If you think it, say it. If you feel it, show it.” (41:52)

5. Male vs. Female Friendship—Competition vs. Squishiness

• Pete ponders the nature of male friendship, referencing Neil Brennan’s bar fight analogy:

  “Comedians aren’t really friends—they’re just in a bar fight, and sometimes they’re fighting in the same direction.” (45:24)

• Valerie contrasts with her experience of female friendships:

  “The vast majority of my experience with female friendships is that it’s so squishy and safe and loving and supportive.” (49:17)

• Both agree on the value of friendships granting the benefit of the doubt and “allowing” one another room for mistakes, goofiness, and realness.

6. Allowing All Parts—Children, Retreats, and Dance

• Pete: “All my best friends just allow me. I need some engagement—I need to burn off some stuff, just like we always feel better after the podcast.” (54:57)

• Connects this to their daughter’s big personality, realized at a retreat:

  • Valerie: “Leela’s soul came in and asked, ‘Will you love me if I rage as hard as you’ve ever seen anyone rage?...If I cry...?’” (59:16)

• Insights from a women's retreat, dancing and moving as a tool for processing, permission, and integration:

  Valerie: “You’re letting every part of yourself get a moment of expression, and it’s all welcome—it’s seated at a roundtable. There’s no hierarchy.” (58:26)

7. Creativity, Vulnerability, and Brains vs. Hearts

• Deep musings on the creative process, doubt, and the need for external encouragement:

  • Valerie opens up about vulnerability of making her short film, Pete provides pep talks:

    Pete: “It’s completely effortless for me to give you a pep talk, but that’s because my pep talk bucket is so full. I had to fill it myself.” (63:07)

  • Explains the journey:

    “The creative process is white hot life inspiration...Then every step to get you back to where you started is overcoming self-doubt.” (65:04)

• The value (and limitation) of the brain:

  “All the best things are, somehow, you push through the brain. The brain can’t ever fully understand or surrender to the best things.” (66:47)

8. Closing Reflections on Self-Acceptance

• Finding the right friends (and partners) means being able to bring your “weird stuff” fully:

  “Find someone who likes your weird stuff.” (70:32)

• Pete at a mostly elderly women's retreat:

  • “Imagine if I didn’t know that!”—riffing with older women about the meaning of “Leela,” being the “grandson of the whole thing,” and making people laugh by treating everyone (kids, older folks) with the same irreverence and love. (69:46–71:56)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Club Culture:

  “Eating so much you have to lay down—that’s my kind of pregame.” (14:33, Pete)

• On Friendship Allowance:

  “I will let you allow me.” (51:21, Pete)
  “Our best friends just allow.” (51:21, Valerie)

• On Roasting Elders:

  “You were to those gentle, sweet, tender older women the same way you are to children—which is fully roasting them.” (71:06, Valerie)

• On Permission and Expression:

  “Can my—all my parts—be integrated into this relationship?” (58:45, Valerie)

• On Intention at Retreats:

  “I wish I had said... I don’t have an intention, I’m seeing how this unfolds.” (55:41, Pete)

Notable Segments & Timestamps

• [11:40] – Pete riffs on “not fitting in” with Miami club culture
• [14:10] – Pre-gaming talk; food vs. clubbing
• [21:00–22:50] – Valerie recounts Chinese New Year rituals and daughter Leela's fascinations
• [24:28] – Valerie’s (comedic) ghost encounter and sage-burning
• [41:45] – The “ooh” face wingman story
• [45:24] – Pete discusses male friendship, aggression, and competitiveness
• [51:03] – The “benefit of the doubt” and its importance in friendship
• [58:26] – On expressive dance and allowing all parts of oneself
• [63:07] – The joy of providing creative support to a partner
• [66:47] – The creative brain resisting inspiration

Episode Takeaways

• Be yourself and find people who let you be "too much"—that’s where the magic happens.
• Creative life = cycles of inspiration and self-doubt; communal pep talks can heal and push you through the hard parts.
• Allow vulnerability and oddness in your relationships; true friends give you the benefit of the doubt and cherish the weird.
• Permission to be weird is the best thing you can offer or receive—whether in comedy, parenting, marriage, or elderly women’s retreats.

Summary Verdict

We Made It Weird #241 is a quintessential Pete & Val episode—overflowing with humanity, awkward joy, tangents, and the permission to live and create as yourself, weird bits and all. If you need laughs, wisdom, and reminders that everyone is secretly weird, this one's a must-listen.