Podcast Summary: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes – "We Made It Weird #99: We Made It Weird Nights"
Date: August 15, 2022
Host: Pete Holmes
Guest/Co-host: Val (Pete’s wife)
Main Theme & Purpose
Episode #99, humorously dubbed "We Made It Weird Nights," is an intimate, late-night edition of Pete and Val’s ongoing series. Recorded at nearly 10 pm (“super late” for the hosts), the episode is looser, more candid, and takes a “juicier” turn—delving into sexual shame, personal weirdness, early experiences with sexuality, religious repression, media influences, and significant reflections on love, kinship, and acceptance. It balances silly, playful banter with earnest, sometimes profound, rumination about human connection and spirituality.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. "Nights" Edition: Setting the Scene
- The episode is dubbed "Nights" because it was recorded late, giving it a tired, more raw, and “spicy and juicy” flavor (07:02).
- Val warns parents that parts are more adult ("this acknowledges the existence of sex"—01:05).
- Both find the late-night context relaxing: “…our best episodes are when we just ease into it.” (11:51)
2. Sexual Shame, Porn, and Repression
- Pete and Val openly discuss their complicated histories with pornography and the cultural/Christian shame attached (09:37–18:11).
- Pete: “I have a very conflicted relationship with pornographic films.” (09:42)
- Both agree that while porn isn’t inherently “evil,” it can create a distancing, objectifying effect, not fostering “kinship”—Pete’s new favorite word and concept after reading Father Greg Boyle (21:56).
- Val: “Pornography is kind of like sugar... you notice just how harsh it is after a break.” (19:01)
- They connect the sense of taboo, secrecy, and brokenness in sexuality to broader themes of American and religious repression.
3. Loveline & Secret Early Sexual Experiences
- They recall “Loveline,” Girls Gone Wild commercials, erotic sections from books, and other sneaky adolescent exposures (13:23–24:33; 41:28–45:14).
- Val: “Girls Gone Wild—sometimes I think I’m too old for you… but every once in a while, moments like this remind me we’re from the same planet. And that planet is called horny.” (42:01)
- Pete’s story about finding a Guinness Book of World Records sex section and memorizing its cheeky phraseology is a recurring bit (24:32–26:33).
- Both recount how secrecy, guilt, and resourcefulness shaped their early impressions of sex: “It’s not just sex that turns me on… it’s ‘overt sexuality.’” (24:33)
- Val explains how Christian purity culture led her to associate arousal or same-sex attraction with “badness,” not orientation—she and Pete bond over how taboo becomes part of what’s titillating (59:07–60:48).
4. Comedy, Bits, and Playful Banter
- Lots of in-jokes and riffs, including Steve Martin’s sound effect bits and playful mockery of “adult” language (27:30–29:17).
- Pete narrates his brief stint as a puppet in a Triumph the Insult Comic Dog bit—a favorite story for both (31:01–33:25).
- Extended bits about backup singers repeating explicit lyrics, “Baywatch Nights,” and Pete’s failed attempts at profundity add warmth and spontaneity (34:09–35:17).
5. Body Image, Attraction, and Individuality
- Both discuss how early exposure to certain images (like the “Wild Things” sex scene, or early 2000s porn) shaped their ideas of attraction and body image (49:29–54:05).
- They touch on body diversity, the cultural dominance of the “Hollywood” ideal, and personal preference: “I am looking for things that look like they’re more in my ballpark… It’s not just physical attraction, it’s actually a little solidarity or something.” (52:36)
- Val: “I don’t really have a type. Every man I’ve ever been attracted to looks completely different.” (54:12)
6. Taboo, Comedy, and Religion: The Role of Repression
- Explores the common link between repression/trauma and both comedic ingenuity and sexual creativity: “Trauma, difficult childhood leads to funny. I wonder if the people having the most fulfilling erotic sex lives also…?" (61:00)
- Pete and Val agree that secrecy and repression don’t eliminate desire—they "just direct it into the shadows."
7. Kinship, Compassion, and Spirituality
- The latter part turns deeper, inspired by Father Greg Boyle and spiritual thinkers like Richard Rohr, Mirabai Starr, Tara Brach, and Ram Dass (20:27–80:59).
- “Kinship” is praised as a spiritual ideal—standing with the marginalized, dissolving barriers: “As soon as you stand at the margins, the margins don’t exist in the same way because you’re there.” (20:27)
- Discusses “the mistake you make is thinking you have time”—a (possibly pseudo-) Buddha quote (65:56).
- Reflections on “unconditional love,” the challenge of loving people (and ourselves) without metrics of “success” or “worthiness” (65:47–76:19).
8. Grief, Brokenness, and Transformation
- Both reflect on spiritual teachings that “blessed are the poor in spirit” really means “you’re in the right place if you’re heartbroken,” and how grief can break the heart open to deeper connection (72:11–73:54).
- Val shares her father’s saying: “Everybody wants to see a miracle, but no one wants to need one.” (74:23)
- Pete, on Father Greg’s teachings: “There’s things worse than death, and it’s not knowing who you are.” (74:59)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Val (07:19): “Because we’re doing a real cas… Casual.”
- Pete (09:42): “I have a very conflicted relationship with pornographic films.”
- Val (19:01): “Pornography is kind of like sugar… this is way too sweet.”
- Pete (21:56): “There is like a… I’m looking at a human being sort of, like, callously, transactionally, really.”
- Val (59:07): “The first real life person I thought of when I was jacking it was my friend Caitlin in eighth grade.”
- Pete (65:56): “There’s a line attributed to the Buddha… the mistake you make is thinking you have time.”
- Pete (65:47): “Would you just talk to me like we knew we were going to be executed at the end of this interview? …I’m tired of not talking about what we had secret sloppy jacks to.”
- Val (74:23): “Everybody wants to see a miracle, but no one wants to need one.”
- Pete (74:59): “There’s things worse than death, and it’s not knowing who you are.”
- Pete (79:19): “Congratulations, son, straight A’s. Sometimes it’s just… and something about the heightened intensity of life down there makes it even more vital.”
- Val (81:41): “When else are you going to do it? It’s gotta be now.”
Important Timestamps
- 00:17: Introduction to "We Made It Weird Nights"
- 07:02–08:36: "Casual" episode context; Emmy/Grammy riff
- 09:37–18:11: Early deep-dive into sexual shame/porn/repression
- 13:23–16:24: “Loveline” memories and sexuality in media
- 24:33–26:33: Pete’s "secret book" of early sex ed
- 27:30–29:17: Steve Martin sound effect bit; comedy digression
- 41:28–45:10: Val’s memories of "Girls Gone Wild" late-night commercials
- 49:29–54:05: “Wild Things” sex scene; body type and attraction
- 61:00: Link between trauma, repression, and comedy/sexuality
- 65:47–66:56: Candid talk, truth-telling, and the value of “juicy” conversation
- 72:11–74:22: Discussion on brokenness, grief as transformation
- 74:23: “Everybody wants to see a miracle, but no one wants to need one.”
- 79:19: Story about giving unconditional love (“straight A’s” moment)
Tone
Warm, irreverent, vulnerable, and often hilarious. Pete and Val toggle smoothly between comedic banter and moments of striking depth. Their chemistry is intimate and inviting, making even their “weirdest” admissions relatable and nonjudgmental. The conversation swings between laughs and profound insights, reflecting the dual meaning of “weird”—as both “quirky” and “wonderfully human.”
For Listeners
If you haven’t heard the episode, expect a funny, meandering, and deeply honest conversation on sex, shame, humor, and the urgent need for compassion and connection—both with ourselves and others. There’s plenty of silliness, some “juicy” adult talk, and sincere, vulnerable reflections on spirituality and love.