Podcast Summary: You Make Sense

Episode: Connecting to Your Inner Masculine and Feminine: How to Embody Both Your Soft and Protective Energies
Host: Sarah Baldwin
Date: September 16, 2025

Overview

In this episode of You Make Sense, somatic experiencing practitioner and trauma expert Sarah Baldwin unpacks the science and somatic wisdom behind “masculine” and “feminine” energies. She demystifies these terms, showing how both have been culturally hijacked and gendered, when, in fact, they are innate aspects of every human (and animal). Through stories from nature, somatic psychology, and the lived experience of trauma, Sarah shares how accessing both our soft (feminine) and protective (masculine) energies is essential to wholeness, health, and fulfilling relationships. The episode concludes with an in-depth Q&A with colleague Rachel, tackling real questions about allowing support, balancing ease and drive at work, and embodying these energies in relationships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reframing Masculine and Feminine Energies

• Not Tied to Gender or Sexuality
  • These are universal, mammalian energies—softness, intuition, connection (traditionally “feminine”), and protection, leadership, action (“masculine”).
  • Quote: “These are mammalian features. They are not connected to gender or identity or our sexuality in any way.” (02:30)
• Nature as Teacher:
  • Lionesses, hyenas, elephants, gorillas all oscillate between these poles regardless of being male or female.
  • Leadership in animal groups is about function (protection, attunement) rather than gender.
  • Quote: “Every animal in nature is oscillating between these two energy systems within themselves.” (06:00)
• Implication: We must experience both to survive and bond.

2. The Impact of Cultural Conditioning and Trauma

• How Societal Messaging Suppresses Energies:
  • Boys are shamed for softness; girls are denied their inner protector.
  • Early gendering (e.g., color codes in gender reveals) sets patterns that disconnect us from aspects of ourselves.
  • Quote: “Did you ever see a movie as a child where the boy...was shown crying and feeling emotions? Nope, that’s not what we saw. What did we see? A knight in shining armor...armored up.” (15:30)
• Result:
  • Boys may learn frustration/anger is the only “acceptable” emotion.
  • Girls may learn that only softness is acceptable—power and assertiveness signal unacceptability.
  • Quote: “Instead of seeing help as supportive, I see help as helplessness. And herein lies why so many of us are hyper leaning towards hyper independence.” (44:14)
• Trauma Response:
  • Conditioning or trauma can cause us to over-identify with one energy (hypermasculine, hyperfeminine) or disconnect from the other.
  • Trauma responses: fawning (acquiescing), over-protection, emotional numbing, hyper-independence.

3. Embodiment in Daily Life & Relationships

• Energetic Oscillation is Natural:
  • We might lean more into softness in romantic relationships, more into protection/drive at work.
  • It’s healthy and necessary to express both in different life areas.
• Relational Polarity:
  • In romantic dynamics, polarity (one person embodying/balancing more of one energy) creates attraction and cohesion, regardless of gender.
  • Both partners must ultimately have access to both energies for healthy relating.
• Personal Example:
  • Sarah describes her own journey from hardened protector to integrating softness.

4. Reparenting & Integration as Healing

• Reparenting the Inner Parts:
  • Healing involves becoming a soft, attuned, AND ferocious protector for your own inner child parts.
  • Quote: “When we’re reparenting our parts, we need both of these qualities too—that you are soft and loving and you are a ferocious protector.” (31:00)
  • Only then can we discern what energy we authentically want to embody in relationships and roles (not just as a trauma adaptation).
• Practical Steps:
  • Building capacity for genuine softness/receiving or for healthy protection/boundaries is a gradual process—needs somatic safety, titration, and lived experience.
  • First, become your own primary protector or nurturer before inviting others to support you or leading others.

5. Q&A Segment: Practical Application (38:28 onward)

Q1: Difficulty Letting a Partner Help (Hard to Receive)

• Story from Rachel: After years of single motherhood, reflexively refused support from her new partner, fearing loss of control/identity or that everything would “fall to pieces” if she relented (40:49).
• Insight: These are protective parts born from necessity. Healing means showing those parts that you (the adult self) are now the “mountain” or “ocean”—internally solid whether you receive or not.
• Memorable Moment: “Instead of seeing help as supportive, I see help as helplessness...herein lies why so many of us are hyper leaning towards hyper independence.” (44:14)

Q2: Wanting More Pleasure/Ease (Feminine Energy) in Business

• Listener asks: How to access more flow, not just drive, at work?
• Sarah’s approach:
  • Our environments get coupled with “work energy”—sympathetic activation. Vacations feel different because there’s no association with “shoulds” and productivity (52:42).
  • Practice orienting to sensory pleasure and presence at home; gradually uncouple “softness/pleasure” from only being possible on vacation.
  • Gradually, titrate ease and softness into your work rhythms to create balance.
• Quote: “It’s vital that you have access to your softness or feminine energy. It’s how you attune with others, how you mother the company, which all companies need.” (57:00)

Q3: Struggling to Hold Space for a Partner’s Anger

• Listener asks: Gets triggered, shuts down when wife is angry—wants to support, not withdraw.
• Sarah’s advice: You can only hold a protective, steady container for another if you first anchor in your own adult self and can tend to the parts that feel unworthy/unsafe around anger.
• This is a dance of joining (being with) rather than merging/taking on responsibility or shutting down.
• Quote: “In order to do that, I must be able to not be triggered by your experience. The only way that can happen is if we’re anchored in our adult selves.” (62:03)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “What makes someone a warrior is their ability to deeply feel with you. I am holding this with you and for you. I am not trying to change it from this place.” (54:30)
• “I never would cry about anything...in doing this work I took off that protective part, and then underneath that was who I actually am.” (25:44)
• “The more that we do this, the more we can tolerate healthy love and healthy receiving.” (51:00)
• “To be in either our softness or our protection...we have to be anchored in our adult self.” (62:03)
• “We are able to feel fullness in life...show up as our authentic self.” (59:30)

Timestamps of Key Segments

• 00:00–07:00: Episode intro, reframing masculine/feminine energies, animal kingdom examples
• 10:00–18:00: Gendered cultural conditioning & trauma responses
• 18:00–27:00: Personal stories; somatic and psychological impacts
• 27:00–35:00: Reparenting, integrating both energies, practical somatic guidance
• 38:28–48:30: Q&A with Rachel—receiving help, hyper-independence (notable example: moving the couch alone)
• 52:42–61:00: Balancing ease/softness in work life, nervous system orientation, somatic practices
• 62:03–66:45: Holding space for a partner’s emotions, container holding, adult self anchoring

Takeaways

• These energies are everyone’s birthright and prerequisite for psychological well-being—they are not about gender or role but about wholeness.
• Societal and trauma-induced suppression of one or the other leads to disconnection and suffering; healing involves reclaiming BOTH energies.
• Genuine polarity and flow in relationships (and life) arise from knowing and resourcing both your soft and protective capacities, not from rigid roles.
• This work is incremental—requires cultivating internal safety and compassionate reparenting of old parts.
• Receptivity and allowing support is itself a vulnerable, radical act of self-trust and healing.
• Somatic practices such as orienting, embodiment, and internal dialogue make this shift possible.

This episode is a masterclass in understanding and embodying the full spectrum of our human energies—a must-listen for anyone on a journey toward integration, fulfillment, and authentic relationship with self and others.