Podcast Summary

You, Me & Mike – Ep. 205: We Have Friends

Hosts: Jenn and Mike Todryk
Date: September 24, 2025
Main Theme:
Navigating adult friendships and extended family relationships as a married couple with children. Jenn and Mike discuss how friendships evolve throughout life stages, maintaining connections amid busy schedules, the differences in men’s and women’s friendships, and the challenges of balancing family, marriage, and social connections.

Episode Overview

This episode focuses on two major listener-requested topics:

How to maintain adult friendships outside of marriage and parenthood
Navigating relationships with extended family, including holidays and frequency of visits

The conversation is honest, relatable, and peppered with humor and personal anecdotes.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Origins of Jenn’s “Good Morning” Catchphrase

[00:12] Jenn shares the organic evolution behind her signature “Good morning, good morning” greeting.
- “I genuinely didn’t know that I did it. I didn’t realize it was a thing until when I didn’t say it, people would be like, you better tell me good morning, good morning two times.” – Jenn
[01:01] Mike jokes about Jenn being like a news anchor: “Good morning, Jennifer Todryk here.”

Listener Questions: Adult Friendships & Extended Family

[01:19] Jenn explains that the episode was prompted by Instagram audience questions about how they keep friendships and manage extended family relationships.
[02:27] Main topics for the episode:
1. Maintaining adult friendships outside of marriage and parenthood
2. Managing relationships with extended family (frequency of visits, splitting holidays, etc.)

Evolution of Friendships Over Life Phases

[03:14] Jenn reflects on how adult friendships differ from what she witnessed in her parents’ lives.
[04:19] Mike discusses expectations:
- “If you expect relationships—friendships—to be the same as they were in a life phase before you were … our friendships now look a lot different than our friendships pre-kids. Which look different than when we were single.” – Mike
[05:20] Both agree friendship expectations must adjust with life phases; texting is often the main way to keep in touch now.

Proximity and Parenting Affect Friendships

[06:04] Jenn notes that proximity, like who you see at school pickups, often shapes current friendships, even if those are newer connections.

Changing Needs and Expectations in Friendship

[07:09] Mike shares how friendships evolve across adolescence, college, and adulthood, especially as time becomes scarce.
- “That ability to just pick up and go hang out and grab a beer or something like that—that’s gone. That ship has sailed.” – Mike [07:41]
They discuss how their kids’ friends’ parents have become core parts of their own social circles.
Importance of having friendships outside marriage for unique perspectives and support.

Gender Differences in Friendship

[08:49–10:51] Jenn asks if women’s friendships are deeper because women share more; Mike responds that depth vs. breadth depends on personality and social conditioning.
- “For me, a lot of my relationship with my male friends... it’s going to hang out to have keep things surface level... sometimes you just want to go out and relax and laugh and hang out. And that in itself is a form of therapy.” – Mike [09:54]
- Social stigma around men sharing deeply discussed, including impact on men’s mental health.

The Role of Trust in Friendship

[11:21] Mike: “Real friendships is a basis of trust. Just like a relationship with a spouse is.”
[12:25] Jenn: “Are you being a good friend to other people?”
[12:34] They recount how they teach their kids to make friends: start with kindness, compliments, and commonalities.

Vulnerability, Hurt, and Guardedness in Friendship

[15:11] Discussion on the tendency for men and women to project having it all together, and the reluctance to be vulnerable.
[17:47–19:39] Jenn admits to sometimes being “too quick to trust,” which has backfired; Mike points out everyone struggles with surface-level or broken friendships.
[20:18] “If you find yourself being guarded with everyone... I think that’s something really deep... talk to a therapist...” – Jenn

Interconnectedness of Marriage, Self-Confidence, and Friendships

[23:26] Jenn suggests issues in marriage or low self-confidence can spill into one’s friendships.
[24:45] Mike and Jenn agree that spouses are the top priority but friendships provide vital outside perspective/support.
[28:00] “If you’re expecting me to be the only person to fulfill every one of your needs, I think that’s an inappropriate expectation.” – Mike

The Power and Influence of Friends

[29:25–31:31] Jenn discusses the importance of choosing friends wisely, especially when seeking advice during marital challenges.
- “My best friends know that I will always support... but I will also say, have you tried X, Y or Z before?” – Jenn [29:47]
[32:05] Mike quotes his dad: “Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are.”

Real Friendship vs. Hype Friends

[33:04] Mike: “Real relationships tell each other the truth. You don’t tell the other person just what you want to hear.”
[33:50] “Friends celebrate friends’ wins. Friends encourage their friends.” – Mike

Jealousy and Self-Development

[34:10] Jenn discusses how jealousy or feeling “left behind” can affect friendship dynamics, especially if one feels unfulfilled.
[35:42] She notes that conflicts among women often arise from “pretty stupid, catty things” and credits men with better grace and ability to forgive and move on.

Conflict and Growth in Marriage (Connection to Friendship)

[40:27–48:26] Relates their own marital arguments and how communication styles, time to process, and learning to fight productively have paralleled growth in friendship dynamics.
- “Fighting isn’t about winning. If you come in a position where I’m going to win, you will always lose in the long run.” – Mike [45:26]
Jenn shares learning to let Mike have space in arguments led to better understanding (and this lesson applies to friendships, too).

Longevity and Maintenance of Adult Friendships

[51:48] Jenn and Mike share that their method for maintaining lasting friendships is lower expectations, rare but meaningful group trips, and being present when needed.
- “We don’t do like weekly or even monthly date nights together. We don’t. But every once in a while, we’ll do a double date or a group date.” – Jenn [51:48]
- Annual group trips: “Every year all getting together in that capacity and being together six whole days... it feeds it enough to keep those relationships that already have 15 years down, you know, in history.” [52:20]

Proximity and Phase of Life

[53:00] Both admit that sharing a life phase and proximity make friendship easier.
[54:11] Mike remembers weekly dinners with his parent’s friends as a positive tradition.

Social Media and Connection

[55:12] Despite being the “most connected ever” technologically, the hosts argue we’re more disconnected than ever from real, in-person relationships.

Parenting and Teaching Friendship Skills

[56:50] They plan to discuss helping kids navigate social relationships in the digital age on a future episode.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

[07:41] “That ability to just pick up and go hang out and grab a beer... that’s gone. That ship has sailed.” – Mike
[20:18] “If you find yourself being guarded with everyone... I think that’s something really deep and I think you need to go talk to someone, a therapist.” – Jenn
[29:47] “My best friends know that I will always support... but I will also say, have you tried X, Y or Z before?” – Jenn
[32:05] “Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are.” – Mike Sr. (Mike quoting his dad)
[33:04] “Real relationships tell each other the truth. You don’t tell the other person just what you want to hear, as you said, because that’s a hype man. Hype mans are fun. You want those people in your life. Right?” – Mike
[45:26] “Fighting isn’t about winning. If you come into a mindset of I’m going to win, you will always lose in the long run.” – Mike
[53:00] “It’s easier to have people that are in the same phase of life... It sounds bad, but it’s true.” – Mike
[58:37] “If a friend calls is a need. We drop what we’re doing and we will be there. And I hope all of our friends feel that way about us. But we’re also very busy, just like they are.” – Jenn

Tips and Insights for Maintaining Adult Friendships

Adjust expectations for friendships as life changes
Texting and short interactions often replace longer hangouts
Proximity and shared phase of life make maintenance easier
Choose friends who challenge, support, and tell the truth—not just those who “hype”
Celebrate friends’ victories instead of feeling threatened
Be cautious about jealousy—it often signals needs for personal fulfillment
Prioritize spouse/family but recognize the unique perspective and support from friends
Lower expectations to accept what friends can give and appreciate them for that
Surface-level interaction is OK; deep trust and vulnerability may only come with time

Timestamps for Important Segments

[00:12] – Jenn’s “Good morning” catchphrase origin story
[01:19] – Introduction of episode topics from audience input
[03:14] – Reflections on childhood vs. adult friendships
[08:49] – Gender differences in friendship styles/depth
[15:11] – Hesitancy to be vulnerable and societal masks
[17:47] – Being too quick to trust and friendship heartbreak
[24:45] – Prioritizing marriage vs. friendship
[28:00] – Why spouses can’t be your only support system
[29:25] – Choosing wise friends for crucial advice
[32:05] – “Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are."
[33:04] – Real friends tell the truth
[40:27] – How marriage arguments can parallel friendship growth/conflict
[51:48] – How Jenn and Mike maintain adult friendships
[53:00] – Proximity and phase of life as factors
[55:12] – Social media’s effect on real friendships
[58:37] – Friendship priorities and managing expectations

Tone and Language

The episode is lighthearted, honest, and filled with personal anecdotes, jokes, and real talk. Jenn and Mike banter naturally, occasionally argue and retract, and often poke gentle fun at each other and themselves. They are candid about their struggles, growth, and personal biases, providing a relatable look into the everyday challenges of adulthood, marriage, and friendships.

Closing Thoughts

Jenn and Mike underscore the value of adult friendships, admit how their friendship maintenance style has changed as life got busier, and stress that being a good friend means showing up, offering truth—not just hype—and accepting the ebbs and flows of connection. Next week, they plan to address extended family relationships in more detail.

Podcast Summary

You, Me & Mike – Ep. 205: We Have Friends

Episode Overview

This episode focuses on two major listener-requested topics:

How to maintain adult friendships outside of marriage and parenthood
Navigating relationships with extended family, including holidays and frequency of visits

The conversation is honest, relatable, and peppered with humor and personal anecdotes.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Origins of Jenn’s “Good Morning” Catchphrase

[00:12] Jenn shares the organic evolution behind her signature “Good morning, good morning” greeting.
- “I genuinely didn’t know that I did it. I didn’t realize it was a thing until when I didn’t say it, people would be like, you better tell me good morning, good morning two times.” – Jenn
[01:01] Mike jokes about Jenn being like a news anchor: “Good morning, Jennifer Todryk here.”

Listener Questions: Adult Friendships & Extended Family

[01:19] Jenn explains that the episode was prompted by Instagram audience questions about how they keep friendships and manage extended family relationships.
[02:27] Main topics for the episode:
1. Maintaining adult friendships outside of marriage and parenthood
2. Managing relationships with extended family (frequency of visits, splitting holidays, etc.)

Evolution of Friendships Over Life Phases

[03:14] Jenn reflects on how adult friendships differ from what she witnessed in her parents’ lives.
[04:19] Mike discusses expectations:
- “If you expect relationships—friendships—to be the same as they were in a life phase before you were … our friendships now look a lot different than our friendships pre-kids. Which look different than when we were single.” – Mike
[05:20] Both agree friendship expectations must adjust with life phases; texting is often the main way to keep in touch now.

Proximity and Parenting Affect Friendships

[06:04] Jenn notes that proximity, like who you see at school pickups, often shapes current friendships, even if those are newer connections.

Changing Needs and Expectations in Friendship

[07:09] Mike shares how friendships evolve across adolescence, college, and adulthood, especially as time becomes scarce.
- “That ability to just pick up and go hang out and grab a beer or something like that—that’s gone. That ship has sailed.” – Mike [07:41]
They discuss how their kids’ friends’ parents have become core parts of their own social circles.
Importance of having friendships outside marriage for unique perspectives and support.

Gender Differences in Friendship

[08:49–10:51] Jenn asks if women’s friendships are deeper because women share more; Mike responds that depth vs. breadth depends on personality and social conditioning.
- “For me, a lot of my relationship with my male friends... it’s going to hang out to have keep things surface level... sometimes you just want to go out and relax and laugh and hang out. And that in itself is a form of therapy.” – Mike [09:54]
- Social stigma around men sharing deeply discussed, including impact on men’s mental health.

The Role of Trust in Friendship

[11:21] Mike: “Real friendships is a basis of trust. Just like a relationship with a spouse is.”
[12:25] Jenn: “Are you being a good friend to other people?”
[12:34] They recount how they teach their kids to make friends: start with kindness, compliments, and commonalities.

Vulnerability, Hurt, and Guardedness in Friendship

[15:11] Discussion on the tendency for men and women to project having it all together, and the reluctance to be vulnerable.
[17:47–19:39] Jenn admits to sometimes being “too quick to trust,” which has backfired; Mike points out everyone struggles with surface-level or broken friendships.
[20:18] “If you find yourself being guarded with everyone... I think that’s something really deep... talk to a therapist...” – Jenn

Interconnectedness of Marriage, Self-Confidence, and Friendships

[23:26] Jenn suggests issues in marriage or low self-confidence can spill into one’s friendships.
[24:45] Mike and Jenn agree that spouses are the top priority but friendships provide vital outside perspective/support.
[28:00] “If you’re expecting me to be the only person to fulfill every one of your needs, I think that’s an inappropriate expectation.” – Mike

The Power and Influence of Friends

[29:25–31:31] Jenn discusses the importance of choosing friends wisely, especially when seeking advice during marital challenges.
- “My best friends know that I will always support... but I will also say, have you tried X, Y or Z before?” – Jenn [29:47]
[32:05] Mike quotes his dad: “Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are.”

Real Friendship vs. Hype Friends

[33:04] Mike: “Real relationships tell each other the truth. You don’t tell the other person just what you want to hear.”
[33:50] “Friends celebrate friends’ wins. Friends encourage their friends.” – Mike

Jealousy and Self-Development

[34:10] Jenn discusses how jealousy or feeling “left behind” can affect friendship dynamics, especially if one feels unfulfilled.
[35:42] She notes that conflicts among women often arise from “pretty stupid, catty things” and credits men with better grace and ability to forgive and move on.

Conflict and Growth in Marriage (Connection to Friendship)

[40:27–48:26] Relates their own marital arguments and how communication styles, time to process, and learning to fight productively have paralleled growth in friendship dynamics.
- “Fighting isn’t about winning. If you come in a position where I’m going to win, you will always lose in the long run.” – Mike [45:26]
Jenn shares learning to let Mike have space in arguments led to better understanding (and this lesson applies to friendships, too).

Longevity and Maintenance of Adult Friendships

[51:48] Jenn and Mike share that their method for maintaining lasting friendships is lower expectations, rare but meaningful group trips, and being present when needed.
- “We don’t do like weekly or even monthly date nights together. We don’t. But every once in a while, we’ll do a double date or a group date.” – Jenn [51:48]
- Annual group trips: “Every year all getting together in that capacity and being together six whole days... it feeds it enough to keep those relationships that already have 15 years down, you know, in history.” [52:20]

Proximity and Phase of Life

[53:00] Both admit that sharing a life phase and proximity make friendship easier.
[54:11] Mike remembers weekly dinners with his parent’s friends as a positive tradition.

Social Media and Connection

[55:12] Despite being the “most connected ever” technologically, the hosts argue we’re more disconnected than ever from real, in-person relationships.

Parenting and Teaching Friendship Skills

[56:50] They plan to discuss helping kids navigate social relationships in the digital age on a future episode.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

[07:41] “That ability to just pick up and go hang out and grab a beer... that’s gone. That ship has sailed.” – Mike
[20:18] “If you find yourself being guarded with everyone... I think that’s something really deep and I think you need to go talk to someone, a therapist.” – Jenn
[29:47] “My best friends know that I will always support... but I will also say, have you tried X, Y or Z before?” – Jenn
[32:05] “Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are.” – Mike Sr. (Mike quoting his dad)
[33:04] “Real relationships tell each other the truth. You don’t tell the other person just what you want to hear, as you said, because that’s a hype man. Hype mans are fun. You want those people in your life. Right?” – Mike
[45:26] “Fighting isn’t about winning. If you come into a mindset of I’m going to win, you will always lose in the long run.” – Mike
[53:00] “It’s easier to have people that are in the same phase of life... It sounds bad, but it’s true.” – Mike
[58:37] “If a friend calls is a need. We drop what we’re doing and we will be there. And I hope all of our friends feel that way about us. But we’re also very busy, just like they are.” – Jenn

Tips and Insights for Maintaining Adult Friendships

Adjust expectations for friendships as life changes
Texting and short interactions often replace longer hangouts
Proximity and shared phase of life make maintenance easier
Choose friends who challenge, support, and tell the truth—not just those who “hype”
Celebrate friends’ victories instead of feeling threatened
Be cautious about jealousy—it often signals needs for personal fulfillment
Prioritize spouse/family but recognize the unique perspective and support from friends
Lower expectations to accept what friends can give and appreciate them for that
Surface-level interaction is OK; deep trust and vulnerability may only come with time

Timestamps for Important Segments

[00:12] – Jenn’s “Good morning” catchphrase origin story
[01:19] – Introduction of episode topics from audience input
[03:14] – Reflections on childhood vs. adult friendships
[08:49] – Gender differences in friendship styles/depth
[15:11] – Hesitancy to be vulnerable and societal masks
[17:47] – Being too quick to trust and friendship heartbreak
[24:45] – Prioritizing marriage vs. friendship
[28:00] – Why spouses can’t be your only support system
[29:25] – Choosing wise friends for crucial advice
[32:05] – “Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are."
[33:04] – Real friends tell the truth
[40:27] – How marriage arguments can parallel friendship growth/conflict
[51:48] – How Jenn and Mike maintain adult friendships
[53:00] – Proximity and phase of life as factors
[55:12] – Social media’s effect on real friendships
[58:37] – Friendship priorities and managing expectations

Ep. 205: We Have Friends

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Summary

Podcast Summary

You, Me & Mike – Ep. 205: We Have Friends

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Origins of Jenn’s “Good Morning” Catchphrase

Listener Questions: Adult Friendships & Extended Family

Evolution of Friendships Over Life Phases

Proximity and Parenting Affect Friendships

Changing Needs and Expectations in Friendship

Gender Differences in Friendship

The Role of Trust in Friendship

Vulnerability, Hurt, and Guardedness in Friendship

Interconnectedness of Marriage, Self-Confidence, and Friendships

The Power and Influence of Friends

Real Friendship vs. Hype Friends

Jealousy and Self-Development

Conflict and Growth in Marriage (Connection to Friendship)

Longevity and Maintenance of Adult Friendships

Proximity and Phase of Life

Social Media and Connection

Parenting and Teaching Friendship Skills

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Tips and Insights for Maintaining Adult Friendships

Timestamps for Important Segments

Tone and Language

Closing Thoughts

Summary

Podcast Summary

You, Me & Mike – Ep. 205: We Have Friends

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Origins of Jenn’s “Good Morning” Catchphrase

Listener Questions: Adult Friendships & Extended Family

Evolution of Friendships Over Life Phases

Proximity and Parenting Affect Friendships

Changing Needs and Expectations in Friendship

Gender Differences in Friendship

The Role of Trust in Friendship

Vulnerability, Hurt, and Guardedness in Friendship

Interconnectedness of Marriage, Self-Confidence, and Friendships

The Power and Influence of Friends

Real Friendship vs. Hype Friends

Jealousy and Self-Development

Conflict and Growth in Marriage (Connection to Friendship)

Longevity and Maintenance of Adult Friendships

Proximity and Phase of Life

Social Media and Connection

Parenting and Teaching Friendship Skills

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Tips and Insights for Maintaining Adult Friendships

Timestamps for Important Segments

Tone and Language

Closing Thoughts