Ep. 210: The In-Laws and Outlaws

Summary

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You, Me & Mike — Ep. 210: The In-Laws and Outlaws

Date: November 12, 2025
Hosts: Jenn & Mike Todryk
Podcast by Thirteen Media

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Episode Overview

In this candid, laughter-filled episode, Jenn and Mike Todryk continue their deep dive into the intricacies of extended family relationships, focusing on the challenges and joys of interacting with in-laws and "outlaws" (those family members who are a little more unconventional). Picking up from last week’s discussion, they tackle listener questions about dividing time among families, navigating unsolicited advice, generational differences in parenting, maintaining strong support systems, and how to foster healthy relationships between children and extended family members. The episode closes with characteristic humor, as the couple shares pet peeves and memorable family stories.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Navigating Time With Extended Family

[01:13 – 04:07]

• Proximity is Key: Jenn acknowledges they spend much more time with her family due to geography and the hands-on, “I’m coming over!” approach from her dad.
• Busy Phase of Life: Both discuss how their weekends are packed with kids’ activities, making it easier for Jenn’s family to visit them than for them to travel.
  • "We are in a crazy busy phase. Our weekends aren't ours." – Jenn [02:21]
• Mike’s Family in Wisconsin: They make an effort to visit twice a year but anchor Christmas at their own home.
• Advice for Others: Recognize that busy seasons are temporary—“eventually, we'll be the ones that travel,” Mike notes.

2. Dealing With Unsolicited Advice and Parental Differences

[04:09 – 15:39]

• Advice Comes With Love: Both hosts agree that parents usually give advice out of love, not judgment, even if it doesn't always land that way.
  • "My parents give their thoughts... even if I don't ask. But... their thoughts are always welcome. To a point." – Jenn [04:18]
• Blending Upbringings: They reflect on the surprises of marrying someone raised very differently, presenting challenges in discipline and communication.
  • "I’m going to do it exactly like I was raised...and then you don't realize when you bring in someone with an extremely different family dynamic..." – Jenn [04:42]
  • "The importance of being on the same page." – Mike [05:17]
• Handling Recurring Issues: Jenn stresses the importance of direct, but kind, conversations if a relative’s comments start to hurt.
  • "I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt, because even if you don't believe it… chances are, they maybe aren't [trying to hurt you]." – Jenn [10:24]
• Generational Shifts: A discussion of how disciplinary norms have shifted and the unique challenges for today’s parents dealing with technology and social media.
  • "Generational parenting styles are just so vastly different now... what's acceptable and what's not anymore." – Jenn [07:56]

3. Communication, Empathy, and Avoiding Estrangement

[15:39 – 22:12]

• Resisting the societal trend toward defensiveness and sticking strictly to “protecting your peace.”
• Advocating for keeping family connections even amid disagreements.
  • "You can disagree with other people on things and still love them." – Mike [15:07]
  • "Don't let a difference become so big that it robs your kids of family bonds." – Jenn [28:44]
• Jenn argues for "saying something," not venting behind someone's back, while Mike urges empathy and appreciation for advice—even if it isn’t followed.

4. Support Systems & Managing Stress

[23:42 – 26:41]

• The Todryks are grateful for a robust, if not ever-present, support network: both sets of parents help with childcare and vacations when needed, but aren’t embedded in their daily routine due to work and distance.
  • "We have a great support network when we need it." – Mike [24:14]
• Flexibility in careers allows them to juggle family and work.
• They contrast their situation with friends whose parents are more consistently involved as caregivers.

5. Modeling Healthy Family for Kids

[27:47 – 31:53]

• Show, Don’t Tell: More than talking about it, they model family closeness through actions.
  • "How do you teach them about family? I don't think you teach them. You show them." – Mike [27:51]
  • "If you’re toxic toward your family... or talk crap about them... What are they gonna do?" – Jenn [28:14]
• Disentangling Adult Conflict: Jenn cautions against letting parental or grandparental conflicts bleed into children’s relationships.
• Boundaries: They touch on healthy boundaries—children shouldn’t inherit their parents’ baggage unless there’s a serious issue like abuse.

6. Generational and Cultural Shifts in Parenting

[17:48 – 20:31]

• The hosts unpack today’s unique parenting pressures: rapid loss of childhood innocence, technology overload, and changes in how kids experience social interaction.
• Grandparents’ Role: Jenn encourages older listeners to recognize the radically different landscape their children are navigating.
  • "The things we have to parent our children through right now is something your generation didn't have to do..." – Jenn [17:46]

7. Pet Peeves and Lighthearted Family Stories

[32:03 – 50:55]

• Mother-in-Law Quirks: Hilarious story about Mike’s mom climbing on countertops to clean light fixtures during visits.
  • "She just shows up on a Friday, goes to the grocery store, cleans... How I've evolved." – Jenn [32:56]
• Dads and the Brewery: Both dads staked claim to “their” bar seats at the family brewery with engraved plaques (one unintentionally looking like a memorial).
  • "If you ever get accosted by Stone Cold Steve Austin at the Brewery, that's Jen's dad." – Mike [36:19]
• Family Eccentricities: Jenn's mom’s essential oil phase; Mike's mom befriending strangers on airplanes who turn out to be Jenn's fans.
• Pet Peeve Face-Off: In good humor, the couple admits to annoyances like Jenn’s coffee cups everywhere and Mike’s habit of leaving clothes and “organized piles” around.
  • "You're not dirty. You're a slob." – Jenn [47:33]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Navigating Family Schedules:
  “Our weekends aren't ours. We work the hardest on weekends, arguably... so when everyone can come to us, we can fit them in between the practices.” – Jenn [02:21]

• On Communication:
  "Just talk about it. But you got to work on the presentation... It doesn't mean you go in hot and tell them they're a horrible person." – Jenn [10:27]

• On Generational Change:
  "Disciplinary acts are very different than traditional values." – Jenn [08:54]
  "Spare the rod… oh gosh, I can't remember." – Mike [09:07]
  "You're quoting scripture you don't even know!" – Jenn [09:08]

• On Showing Family Values:
  "If you're toxic toward your family members... if you talk crap about them…what are they gonna do?" – Jenn [28:14]
  "I don't think you teach them. You show them." – Mike [27:53]

• On Letting Grandkids Form Their Own Bonds:
  "You're stealing that from them by putting what you have bad with that person into them, which they don't know. They don’t carry that same baggage. So it’s none of their business." – Jenn [28:44]

• On Family Humor:
  "If you ever get accosted by Stone Cold Steve Austin at the brewery, that's Jen's dad." – Mike [36:19]
  "It's Sue's world. We're just living in it." – Jenn [33:38]
  "If we put labels everywhere, I would [be tidy]..." – Mike [48:47]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:13 – 04:07] — Navigating time with extended family
• [04:09 – 15:39] — Parental advice and blending upbringings
• [15:39 – 22:12] — Communication and family boundaries
• [23:42 – 26:41] — Family support systems
• [27:47 – 31:53] — Modeling family values for kids
• [17:48 – 20:31] — Cultural shifts in parenting
• [32:03 – 50:55] — Pet peeves and funny in-law stories

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Episode Tone

The Todryks’ banter is warm, honest, and playful. They’re not afraid to dive into serious topics and disagreements but counterbalance heavier themes with funny anecdotes and candid self-awareness. Their tone empowers listeners to feel less alone in family struggles and more open to empathy, laughter, and direct, loving communication.

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For questions or feedback, contact:
[e-mail]

“Podcast is like church. Bring a friend!” – Jenn [51:36]

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Transcript

[A]

Back again.

[B]

It's been so long.

[A]

It's been so long since we've talked about this topic.

[B]

Well, it's been a week for the people who are listening, but it's been about 30 seconds for us, actually, between lunch and now.

[A]

Yeah. So we thought we would just keep. Keep into this topic of extended family and relationships for a little part two, because I feel like we only scratched the surface for questions.

[B]

Yeah, we kind of got on this topic. A lot of sidetracked conversations.

[A]

So.

[B]

All right, well, that's been a good podcast.

[A]

That's it. You, me, and mike.podcast gmail.com. okay. Pull up the questions, Mike.

[B]

All right.

[A]

We're pretty much gonna try to be more structured this episode.

[B]

Stay on track.

[A]

And we're not even track. I don't like to think of it that way because we. We were doing what we were doing. We were flowing.

[B]

We did the shift in roles. Create your own family culture. Deciding which traditions carry forward.

[A]

Hold on. If you're jumping in. And you did not listen to the episode from the week prior, I highly recommend. Because we are just steamrolling into the topic we've already been talking about, and so we don't want to restate over things. So just if you haven't watched, make sure you go back and listen to last week's.

[B]

That's right. Because we're still. We're still going to stay on the subject of your family. Dealing with family. All right, so we. Last episode, we kind of ended on creating your traditions. We're talking about holidays and families. So one of the questions somebody asked us was, how do you navigate the challenges of splitting time between your extended families?

[A]

Ooh. I think anyone in your family would tell us that it's very unbalanced and that we hang out with my family a lot more. And they would be right. Because of proximity. Like with your family in Wisconsin.

[B]

Yeah. Also, your. Your dad doesn't give us an option.

[A]

He's like, I'm coming over. No, he's good. Y' all free Saturday? And I'm like, come on. And I will say why we get to see my family so much and why they have been awesome, especially the last few years, is they know we're hanging on by our teeth. And, you know, and the weekends were so busy, and so they know in order to hang right now, in the season we're in, they kind of have to come to us or it won't happen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, we are in a crazy busy phase. Our weekends aren't ours. We work the hardest on the weekends, arguably Saturday and Sunday, we're either at games or practices.

[B]

So, yeah, there's pretty much one day a week that we don't have something going on.

[A]

Right.

[B]

With the kiddos.

[A]

And so when everyone can come to us, we can fit them in in between the practices or. My brother brought his daughter over two weekends ago and they came to softball practice with us, and we found the park and we played there. So.

[B]

Yeah, and it's. I think it's just being empathetic to the time we're in. And everyone goes through different phases of life. And right now our phases is that we're just really busy with our family and our kids and our activities and, you know, between the work and all this stuff, it's hard. It's hard to cut out. Now we do travel. We, you know, we try to make a point to go two times a year up to visit my family in Wisconsin. We do one time in the summer, and then we navigate somewhere around the holidays, usually around Thanksgiving, we'll do it. But as we said last episode, Christmas we anchor to our house. And just during the week, really, hey, you're always. People are always welcome to come be a part of us. And it may sound a little bit selfish, and it might be a little bit selfish, but that's the only way we've been able to navigate it.

[A]

I think it's selfish. It's like we don't have an option. If we commit these kids and these kids want to play. Play these sports and do these things, then we need to be a good teammate and we need to put our effort in where we can.

[B]

And I. Yeah, that's my mentality. No, no, we hope, like, I. It's probably easy to get stuck in that mindset. Eventually things are going to change when, you know, the kids are driving or they're out of the, you know, out of the house. The life should. Should navigate and the pathways will change. We'll. Eventually, we'll be half of the ones that travel. But right now the season's kind of coming to us, and I think we'll have to be empathetic and understanding to the situation that change when they come. And I guess if there's people out there, if your grandparents probably, like, I wish my k Same more often. Just remember what you went through in those moments sometimes. And sometimes it's hard to travel.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

This other question was about, have you dealt with any unsolicited advice? I don't know if we really have. Oh, I. I think I. I think a Little bit.

[A]

I mean, my parents give their thoughts.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For sure. Even if I don't ask.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But also to a point. To a point. They're. Their thoughts are always welcome.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But we do do things slightly different on a couple of aspects. And I've made it clear, like, hey, this is different. It's always going to be different. So let's not, like, keep pointing out that it's different. Like.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And that's okay. And we have, you know, you're different, I'm different. I think something that I didn't realize before going into a marriage and raising children is like, I'm going to do it exactly like I was raised, because that's all I ever. I've ever known. And then you don't realize when you bring in someone you marry, someone with an extremely different family dynamic in a different way of dealing with conflict or discipline. Yeah. Like, we are black and white as far as, like, difference on the spectrum. Yeah.

[B]

We've talked about them in the past.

[A]

Yeah, we've talked. That's been the hardest.

[B]

How we were raised and what our perspective of discipline was and how we were going to do it and.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the importance of being on the state, getting on the same page.

[A]

Correct. And so it's taken us years and years and years, and we still have moments where we're in. In that moment not sitting on the same page, and we have to get there and find each other on the same pa. And so I had to get to a point where I know what our marriage is. I know how hard we work to find that middle common ground of how we feel both very comfortable parenting. And it's not how I was raised. It's not. It doesn't look just like it. And so. But they don't. They don't know that because they're not in this marriage. And so I. I'm trying to also give grace in that regard, too. Enough to where if a comment is made or something is said and it eats at me, like, overnight, then that's when I'm like, okay, I just don't want to hear that comment anymore. And it makes me think bad thoughts. Like, I get upset, then I'll say, hey, just want to let you know, like that does. For whatever reason. I'm not saying it's like, right or valid, but this hurts my feelings or makes me feel this. And then they're always like, oh, my gosh, I didn't mean it.

[B]

A lot of it. I think if there's things that we hear, it's often coming from, like, they may not have it a place to try to. Like, your parents are never trying to hurt you.

[A]

Never.

[B]

Right. If it's coming from a sister or brother or friend or even parents that are giving you advice about your kids and how to raise them or whatever, I think people's perspective, if you step back and look at it, why are they trying to tell me this one? Because they usually think that they're trying to do it out of love, even though sometimes it's not warrant.

[A]

It feels like judgment. In the judgment, you're defensive because you're.

[B]

Doing your best you can at that point. And, you know, and I've given people this advice as well. Sometimes you just go, you know, I really appreciate that advice. And you do what you need to do.

[A]

Gosh, I don't have that ability, literally. I mean, I wish I did.

[B]

Just, you know what? You know, because I think the thing is, is you acknowledge that somebody says you may have a wildly different opinion about what it is, whether it's to do as a discipline or, I don't know, food or, you know, habits or whatever it may be that you do things like, you know, it's like, I really appreciate your perspective on that.

[A]

I'm just not.

[B]

And you're like, you move on. And you're like, okay, well, then I'm gonna go keep doing how I do my kids because I am doing the best I can. Or you. You step back and you look at it and say, if we're getting defensive from something, because sometimes we need to hear things, right? Sometimes you're like, oh, crap, I didn't think that, or I didn't hear that. An outside perspective sometimes gives us a little point to reflect on why somebody would be giving that. Now if it's just nitpicky stuff that bothers you and it gets frustrating. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure I could. I could only imagine if I was around your family all the time or my family, and they're constantly saying, like, well, you really need to be disciplined your kids more, or, you really shouldn't be doing this, or, you should be doing this. You'd bench, like, lord, please be quiet.

[A]

Well, and I think also what has to do with that is, like, the generational parenting styles are just so vastly different now. And I think it's because of everything being videoed and on social media. And I. I don't know. I just feel like it's so different, even in the way people discipline from generation to generation and what's acceptable. And once like not acceptable or abuse. Like, it's very different. I don't know why you're looking at me like that. Generations are crazy.

[B]

No, I mean, I think as far as I would.

[A]

What's appropriate and what's not anymore, kind of as a vast majority whole.

[B]

I mean, I don't know if it's just social media. Point is, I. I think.

[A]

No, I'm not saying just.

[B]

Yeah. I think generationally, I mean, the family dynamics hopefully don't change too much over long term. Generation. Traditional family values. But from a standpoint of like, with the way people are raised, I mean, you think about turning about.

[A]

I'm talking about disciplinary acts.

[B]

Yeah. I mean. Yeah.

[A]

Very different than traditional values.

[B]

Grab a switch off a tree and, you know, whip your kid back in the 40s. And I was like, that's allowed. That's. You should be doing that. You should be. You know, I mean, there's verse in the Bible, Right. Spare the rod. What's it. Oh, gosh, I can't remember.

[A]

He's quoting scripture. You don't even know.

[B]

It's fine.

[A]

Everyone carry on.

[B]

I'm blanking on it. I am having them. I'm gonna look at the.

[A]

Don't say it's called don't spare the rock.

[B]

Yeah. Something like that. Yeah.

[A]

People take that literal.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It doesn't mean hit your kids. It just means discipline is important.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I just say from a standpoint of discipline, get on the same page, be consistent.

[A]

Everyone has to do what they feel comfortable with and are. Yeah. Are confident doing and what they both agree on. I think that's the hardest part with the parenting. So with unsolicited advice, how I would handle it is. I don't know these questions. I. Every time someone tells me like an in law or something that chaps their butt and I'm just like, just tell them. Like I. My personality. I get so irritated when people have the time to go and talk about the issue behind that person's back rather than just go talk to them. Like, it makes my head want to explode. Now, I understand going for advice seeking counsel before you're gonna go and make that conversation. Okay, I understand that. Hey, I'm gonna go talk to my mother in law about this. This is what I'm thinking. Any thoughts for someone who's trusted totally different. I don't think that's talking behind their back. I think that's getting your thoughts together. But if it's like an ongoing thing for years and years, you gotta say something. Just talk about it. But you got to work on the presentation. It doesn't mean you go in hot and tell them they're a horrible person. I think you have to go in being like, hey, you might not mean this, even though you darn well know she means it. Or you say, I know you. This is how I'm taking this. And it's, like, really wearing on me. Like, I feel it making me feel bad about myself. And I know you don't mean to do that. I always feel like you want to give the person the benefit of the doubt, because even if you don't believe it and you think they are doing it, chances are they maybe aren't, you know, and just. I always try to give people.

[B]

I don't. Sometimes people don't really even realize they're doing it.

[A]

Yes, I agree.

[B]

But I think if you come from a position of love, like, hey, you know, just said, you know, you don't. You can take it. You can go the one pathway and say, I really appreciate your advice. Thank you, and I'll take that in consideration. And, you know, I know you love her kids and you move on. You don't have to. Anybody gets a point where, like, hey, you know, I know you're coming from a place of love, and I, you know, and I know you've been through it and you raised great kid, obviously married your husband or wife, whatever it may be, and you raised a great person so that there's something to be said for that validity. There some validity. You raise a great person that I'm with. But, you know, when. When you're saying these things repeatedly, it's hard. Like, I don't want to have a place where we're not going to be around you guys whatnot. Like, yeah, you know, we appreciate it. We respect it, but right now it might be, you know, it's. We. Yeah, those comments don't help the current situation we're in. Or.

[A]

And also, if you feel very confident about how you are raising your kids or specifically something you're doing, then there is a time where I think you plant your feet into the ground and say, this is how we're doing it. And so you got to stop with those comments. Because this isn't changing.

[B]

Correct? Well, that's because it's just.

[A]

There's no point. Like, you have to. You have to tell. You're essentially telling them to back down and give up because you're standing firm.

[B]

Right.

[A]

In a nice way.

[B]

And they aren't the parents.

[A]

That's okay. And they're not the parents. You're allowed, you're allowed to say that. Like I think especially when I know the parental thing is like a tough relationship to navigate. But at you're a grown adult and you have children of your own. Yes. I feel like it's very foolish to be very close minded to where you won't listen to advice. However, it doesn't mean you take all advice because of circumstances that are different and you're family versus others.

[B]

And if you. And again, if you totally disagree with what the person's saying as well, it's like, okay, I got it. We hear you.

[A]

Or you don't disagree. But I say I don't disagree with you, mom or dad. Like say it like that. But that's not what we have decided that we're doing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so you know, I'm married to him and we're doing this together. I totally hear you. But that's not what we have agreed on how we're gonna do it. Do you know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah, there's parts. Yeah, for sure. That's an absolute valid standpoint because what I don't think you people want to get to or what you'd want to have is have a relationship where you're avoiding that person and you don't want to be around them anymore. And then you're changing the entire opportunity for your kids to have opportunities for. With their grandparents or in laws or sisters or brothers or whatever it may be because of. Of of something that is being brought into you. And again, we get the process information however we want. I know like sometimes the brains tell us differently and those emotional responses are very real that come out. But as you and I have talked a lot about it is, is that we should be more in control of our own way that we do receive things. Right.

[A]

Like, yes, I was just thinking them in my head. I was literally. You were talking. I'm not gonna lie. I zoned out for a second. But I was, but I was thinking about the topic and I was like, you know, we've become. And maybe you agree or I think you would now you saying that I think we've become a society where we're constantly like defensive of ourselves first versus like hey, giving grace to someone being like, I know you didn't mean it that way. It's like you're gone. We're not hanging out. You're. You do. You don't respect my. Whatever. I just feel like we are so quick to throw up like walls. The walls and be like, I'm protecting my peace in my, like they throw all these names on it from words.

[B]

That becomes words that become warfare in this country more than really anything. And yeah, so you know, it's, you know, never find yourself in a place of trying to be virtuous for the sake of being virtuous and throwing signals up to, to be right and have the other person be wrong. And that's, that's where it is. A lot of like just in general, all the you know, conflict that's kind of in this country. A lot of people want to be right and they want the other person to be wrong. Yeah, sometimes a lot of nuance in between. There is a lot of rights. There's some true rights and there's some true wrongs but then there's perspectives of people's lives have in between that if not empathetic and open minded enough to have a conversation of dialogue. And yeah, you can disagree whether it's family or politics or whatever it may be, you can disagree with other people on things and still love them. Yeah, you really can love them because you don't love it. And that's what God calls us. Do I mean calls love others? Yeah, some.

[A]

I just feel like we're very fueled by social media rants and things where if someone doesn't agree with you then like they're fundamentally wrong and they're not safe people to be around. And I just feel like it's like pitting us against each other versus like having a softness of like okay, my family member very much believes something extremely different than me, but like who cares? That's my aunt or uncle and they're my family. It's like, yeah, it's sad and I don't like that very much. I feel like it's gotten a lot worse because of social media and whatnot.

[B]

Well yeah, watching people rant, people want to be right. Yeah.

[A]

Telling us that it's okay to keep your inner peace and block everyone out. Like it's just very sad. Like I don't like it.

[B]

It's isolationist. I think it feeds and all you do is feed into people who have the same mindset with you. And the hard thing is, is, and this is even again, this is applicable to family for sure. Because opinions, if you disagree with somebody doesn't mean that they don't have validity in their thought. They don't have this common ground that you come and be like, I understand why you would think that way or why you're raised that way. What your perspective would be to get To a point where you can have at least a place of understanding.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And hopefully that a person can find the same thing. And I mean, if you're dealing with an in law or mom or somebody totally disagrees with the way that you're raising your, you know, because if this is related to kids or choice of a spouse or whatever it may be, maybe you just have an in law that can't, you know, you're, you know, your mom or dad can't stand the person you married. And that sucks if that happened. I guess very. I'm very lucky that your parents, that you married one of the best people. People around. So your parents are very lucky to have me.

[A]

I was about to say that. I'm just about to say that. I was just about to say we both got super lucky because none of our parents, like, badger the other one or like talk down or like, are super dominant. I feel like everyone lets everyone be their person. Wouldn't you say? Like, no one, no one interjects, like, harsh.

[B]

No.

[A]

But yeah. And if, and if you're a grandparent listening or watching this, I would challenge you to be a little more open and not just be so stuck on maybe how you did it. And even though you're really, you know, feeling great about how you did things, that's amazing. But it's just such a different world now. And it's. People are still the same. Yes. But it's just the things these kids, the things Obama speak for me, the things we have to parent our children through right now is something that your generation didn't have to do and you'll never have to do it. And that's working around technology and the things that are thrown in our children's faces.

[B]

Our children are the last 15 years kind of.

[A]

Yes, they're our children's. I hate to sound dramatic, but it's so true. Our children's innocence has gone so quick just because of what they're exposed to. Not on, maybe our kids don't have phones. They have a gab family phone. They have access to the Internet from other people's kids who do have phones. And so our kids are very much exposed to a ton of things. And it just. I know that doesn't sound like anything, but the stuff that they consume at a very young age makes us have to have really concrete beliefs quickly and have conversations. And it's just really hard. I don't know how else to describe it.

[B]

There's an infinite amount of content with an infinite amount of opportunities to show good or bad. There really is. Like, when I was raised, there was 4, 6, 9, 18, and 24. Those were the channels I really TV on. TV, 4, 6, 9. So ABC, NBC and CBS, those are the three. 18 was. Was it Fox? And then 24 was. No, 24 was Fox and 18 was. I don't know, whatever. The other random ones, the. But you had these little clicker nubs. Point is, is that it was like you. You watched what was on, and it was generally reruns. It was Happy Days or a Star. Star Trek or it was like, whatever that was on. You came to school and there were cartoons on Saturday, and that was kind of it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you got bored. Because I remember being sick and I was actually talking to my dad about. There was one where kids had to stay home, and I just saw him at the brewery. We had lunch. And so, yeah, you were home watching. I think it was when Viv got sick. But I was like, I. I was like, yeah, they're sick. I go. I remember being sick and just being, like, hating it because I like, you'd only.

[A]

Could.

[B]

You'd only watch so many game shows and soap operas before you're like, this sucks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And now you're like, I go home, I got an iPad. You got video games. We have to tell them anything.

[A]

We have to tell them, like, you can't watch TV or you have to rest and sleep, because when we take sick days, they can't be too fun.

[B]

But there's a mike. And I say there's like, an unlimited amount of opportunity. And that's the thing is. Is that it is hard to navigate it because that is a whole. A whole another podcast in itself of. Of, you know, that exposure to just everything. I mean, our kids are on screens their entire day at school. They do all their homework on computers now. That's the way that they do it from fifth grade, moving forward in our school district. And I may not agree with it, but that's the way it is. And. And part of it is I may not agree with it. It doesn't mean that they have to figure out how to navigate it. It's the same thing with navigating social media. It's just a new norm of, like, parents that have to be able to navigate their kids through this entire complex, overly difficult place to be able to create a social network. And, you know, we, you know, we, you know, we're trying to keep our kids off as long as possible. At a certain point when you're. If, you know, you don't want to. We don't want to also be the kids that are fully alienated. Their kids. And making them.

[A]

That's the tricky part.

[B]

It's hard.

[A]

We don't even need to go on all that. But I'm just saying, if you're a grandparent and you're like, what the heck is happening?

[B]

Yeah, let them watch the tv.

[A]

As long as they're loved and fed and taken care of. I feel like I'm just asking you to have grace on, like, your kids and how they're parenting and if it looks different than yours. Like, the thing with me is, like, you. That's your kid. Right. That you're watching Parents now, kids, you raise them well. I'm sure you think so. You have to trust them. But like, they know their marriage, their spouse. They. They know their kids, and they're gonna raise good people too. It just might be done differently than how you did it. And that's not bad because I hate to break it to you, there's not one way. Well, I bet you not one way. Because every kid is different.

[B]

I bet you they did a difference in their parents, too.

[A]

Oh, 100.

[B]

And we do. But it was taught by. For. We also do things similar. I know, it's weird.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We expect things to be kind of the same way. We experienced it and we talked about that kind of the roles and relationships. A lot of. If you're a man and your mom did everything around the house and you come into marriage, you might just have this assumption that's just normal, that's the way it is. And then that person is totally different perspective. And you have these. These. These uncommunicated expectations that you need to communicate through. And it's the same thing with your parents. And it comes back down to that common core of what we've talked about before is communicating, just talking, talking. I just don't think it's hard opening a dialogue up saying, hey, I love it. I love you, and always come out of love and make sure you're not coming out of selfishness. And if you get in the point where you're avoiding your family because of it, you don't want to be around them because of it. That's the point where you, like, that's where it's worth a conversation. Because if you're like, I just don't want to. I don't want to be around that, and you get awful feelings about it, like, what's going to. What. What. What's. What's going to be worse? Having a Conversation and then actually putting things up. And yeah, it might be worse for a little bit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But sometimes it takes a little bit of pain to. To process and to move on. All right, friends, a quick mid show break. This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money. I'm actually the one who signed us up for it. I love any app or anything that can help us get a control of our finances. And I gotta admit, this one impressed me. We saved so much money, I don't even want to say it out loud. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitor your spending, and even works to lower your bills so you can grow your savings. You can safely link your credit cards and bank accounts and see everything in one place. The first time we used it, I found at least five old subscriptions. I didn't even know we were still paying for them. It was so easy to cancel and instantly feel like we were more on top of things. And we're not alone. Rocket Money has helped people save over $2.5 billion billion dollars, including 880 million just from canceled subscriptions alone. So cancel those unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go over to Rocketmoney.com backslash you, me and Mike today. Again, that's Rocketmoney.com backslash YOU, me and Mike spelled R O C K E T M o n e y.com backslash you, me and Mike. Y O U M E N D M I K E. Going over and get started today with Rocket Money. Right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Anyway, that was.

[A]

What do you do with support system and stress?

[B]

Support like family.

[A]

Family. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know how to.

[A]

I just wanted to see what he would say.

[B]

I mean, let me see what the question is. Let me look on my notes here. Oh, when does family. Does your family, extended family help lighten a load. It's in the family. Cause family cosmos, stress, recognize when to lean. Oh yeah. Okay. I can say from our standpoint, we've already talked on this, so I don't think it's gonna be that long one. We have a great support network when we need it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We've been very fortunate to have, you know, my dad and stepmom live very close to us. If we need last minute help, Jen's parents are always willing to step in and help when we need it. Jen and I do at least one vacation a year grown up trip that we go on and. Or date night. Yeah, well, we have a strong enough support network. Do we have people coming over Every day. No, we. We don't. But we haven't asked for that. No, we didn't want that.

[A]

We don't have extended family intermixed into our lives helping per se in that way. Like, I know I have quite a few friends like their mom come over certain days of the week, and they're like the child care. Yeah, we don't have that because my parents are very young and they're still working full time and they're still grinding and making businesses. But we have them for vacations, like, once a year when we need that. And then my kids really like to go over. Not when we need them, just for fun, like to spend the night here and there.

[B]

Yeah. So we have a strong network. And then.

[A]

But if I needed them on a Tuesday, they'd be here.

[B]

Yeah, but that's the thing.

[A]

They're just working.

[B]

But if I also have them, we also have a, you know, a close family friend at this point now that, you know, has helped us with. With child care when we need it as well.

[A]

Babysitter we've ever had.

[B]

And she's amazing. She's, you know, part of her family, to be honest. We've known her forever. So she's, you know, the kids love.

[A]

Her, and she's fortunate enough to be able to pay someone to come be. Be our support that we trust.

[B]

But we've never did the nanny route.

[A]

No.

[B]

And our jobs are flexible enough, which is unique in our circumstance. There are a lot of people that do not have that privilege that we've been able through our, you know, I guess, entrepreneurial aspects. I before, I didn't have that flexibility when I was with corporate America.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But we have the flexibility now for what we've been able to create is to be able to have more time, to be able to cross over family and work. Right.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I will say, since 2020, since COVID there has been a little bit more acceptance of, I think, family and childcare because of just when things got crazy during COVID I mean, I remember. You remember when I.

[A]

What do you mean? Family.

[B]

Remember when I had my home office and I would have to, like, pretend at a home office because everyone thought it was an office.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It was actually my home office. Yeah. It was like corporate. It was a corporate culture, like, because everyone knew it was this un. Like, we didn't have a corporate office. So if I'm working from the computer, I'm either at a coffee shop or at my home.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But I would. But I had to be like, it's my office. I'm like, no, I can't hear. My kids can't have anything. I was like trap myself away because I didn't want to have this. I wanted. You had to have this like facade or this like almost imaginary pretend world that you're in an office now and then since 2020 and everything kind of exploded and coveted it was like kids are wild.

[A]

Remember that BBC video where the kid comes in with the wife in the background while he's broadcasting? Yeah, hilarious.

[B]

But that's the reality of it. So I think there's a little bit more acceptance that life is part of it, kids are part of it. And yeah, you know, you obviously have to want to be professional in your corporate world and things like that. But like life does happen as well. But anyway, so that's when we've been fortunate to that as far as for stresses the family, I think it's again just comes down to us being open. I don't know if I've ever felt overly stressed out at all about having your family or even my family come over to hang out. I actually like it. Like I genuinely like. I love when family comes over because I want my kids to see that as the normal.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

And that just goes into another question about like our kids, the relationship with. It's. I'm summarize. I mean to look at it, but it's like, you know, how are you. You know, how are we raising our kids to. To look at family and look at friendships.

[A]

How do you explain family? Yeah, I think is what the question was.

[B]

How do you explain.

[A]

How do you teach them about.

[B]

I don't think you teach them. You show them.

[A]

I boom. Drop mic drop.

[B]

I think that's a good way. What do you. I mean, what are you going to do? Your daily actions drop podcast over. If you are toxic towards your family members or they're toxic towards you if you're absent from them, if you don't talk to them, if you talk crap about them.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

What are they gonna do?

[A]

I think there's a point when you become a parent where all selfishness really has to be shoved out the window. And you'll see that as you have kids, your day is not your day anymore. You don't have a choice. You have to get them to places and whatnot. But I think the same thing applies for when you have children, even in your hard relationships. If you have grandparents that are parents that you have issues with, but they're coming over and they're trying to be around your Children, the worst thing you could do is let the kids in on how you feel about them when they're having their own relationship building.

[B]

Correct?

[A]

So you're screwing. You're stealing that from them by putting what you have bad with that person into them, which they don't know. They don't carry that same baggage. So it's none of their business. They're a child. You two figure your crap out or don't. But don't put it down that kid, because you literally just stole a grandparent from that kid. If you're putting. If you're projecting onto them, I think that's so wrong.

[B]

And there are grandparents out there. People, as they age, they've. They've recognized maybe mistakes they've made in the past, and they want to make amends through their grandkids as well. And I. And I, you know, it's probably hard to, like, open yourself up, but it's not you, it's the kids, right? And it's like, to me, it's allowing them to be able to create their own relationships and genuine relationships. Now, again, we've talked about this. If there's real abuse and there's real problems that have happened in the past, that's a different situation. Like, but if there's things where there's, you know, call it an unmet need, right? Not abuse, I think it's more like this.

[A]

Like, you're still gonna have conversations. Like, hey, why does Pop say so many. No, no words, right? Like, there you go. And then you have to have conversations. It's like, yeah, Pops is an adult, and we don't talk like that. And we shouldn't say that. It doesn't mean to put them on a pedestal and make them perfect. You still have to have conversations. They know they're not perfect. But I'm talking about, like, you're angst about something that happened in the past that kid doesn't need to know anything about that has nothing to do with their relationship with that person. So I agree that I feel like I do. Again, you gotta. It's selfish. It's just so selfish, like, to try to get someone on your side or to use the child against that person to hurt them by not having a good relationship.

[B]

Because we talked about that with the last one about even, you know, if you're in a say less relationship.

[A]

I would say with children, say less until they get older, they can take it. I was about to say, until they get to an age where it seems.

[B]

More appropriate, you don't have to Lie to your kids.

[A]

Keep it vague for a minute.

[B]

Yeah. You know, you know, the details sometimes don't matter if the love is there. If you're. If your parents or whoever it may be, if they. If they love on your kids and you do see genuine love there, that's part of it.

[A]

Let that be.

[B]

Yeah, let that be part of it. Maybe if you don't trust them to watch your kids, that's actually okay too. Right. But let the relationship grow to be what it may be without interjecting your own bias onto it, because that's one thing. Even, like, you know, we talk like I talk about interviewing if you have a bias. If I tell one of my managers, like, hey, we got, you know, this person. You know, can you interview this person? They're already going to have a mindset of like, oh, Mike knows this person. We probably should consider hiring this person. But, like, I've gone to telling people, like, do not let anything. I, like, literally ruin myself. Decisions. Yours. No bias, selection. And that's the thing is it's like sometimes it's better them to find people because there's always going to be.

[A]

What does the story have to do you.

[B]

It's just saying about bias. If you're telling your kids about one thing and if you had problems and situations, they'll. They'll have a bias towards maybe finding. Signing an issue with it. So that's what it has to do.

[A]

I'm like, just connecting the thought, said that. Okay.

[B]

I'm just connecting it somehow. Tying it together, putting a bow on it.

[A]

Okay. It was a messy bow, but I'm with you now.

[B]

So there it is.

[A]

I see the bow.

[B]

We got to it.

[A]

I got to the bow. I feel like we haven't been funny the last two episodes. We're not very comical right now. We're talking about very serious things.

[B]

They're serious things. What's the. What's the funniest story you have of my mom?

[A]

Your mom?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I can't share some of them.

[B]

I can. You're with. I was that one. The one you're like, what is going on? Remember when she came to the. Our house when we. When we moved in off of the. The house that we built and she was standing up on the countertops, cleaning the inside of our lamps.

[A]

I was mildly offended. So this again, young twenties. Okay. First time I had a house, you.

[B]

Were mid twenties at that point.

[A]

Mid twenties was my second house, and I was still in the mindset of, like, everything had to be stupid clean before my mother in law came, and everything was perfect. And then she'd arrive and then just start cleaning things. I didn't even think to clean. And I would be like, I'm not a good housekeeper. But that was just me being young. And now I don't do crap before sue comes. I don't even go grocery shopping. She just shows up on a Friday, and she goes to the grocery store, buys groceries, and, like, cleans throughout the weekend. And I'm like, the.

[B]

The standing.

[A]

Like, oh, how I've evolved.

[B]

I think she was, like, 67 at the time. And she's standing up, and she's like, my mom's this tiny little petite thing, and she's like, on the countertop inside the.

[A]

We were like, mom, what are you doing? Sue, what are you doing up there?

[B]

Oh, I'm just cleaning the inside of the pendants and then vacuuming the annoying vacuum during the nap time.

[A]

I remember that one. She always won a vacuum when the kids are sleeping. And I'd be like. Like, I would get on to Mike to tell him to tell.

[B]

And when I say, this is my mom's love language. Let's let her just let. Like that.

[A]

And then I'd say, let her do her love language in a different room, please.

[B]

I've gotten the point where just let her do it. You got the point, too. Like, hey, if that's what she wants to do and it makes her happy, sue just does.

[A]

I just let sue do whatever she wants to do. We're just. It's Sue's world. We're just living in it.

[B]

Like, she's. To this day, I'm, you know, 49 years old, and she come over. She's like, let me buy groceries. I'm like, mom, we can afford groceries. We're okay. No, I'm. Nope. I want to do it. It's like, literally, she's arguing at the countertop or at the cashier with the person. She's like, here's. She has cash, too. Which.

[A]

I finally told Mike. I'm like, just let her buy the dang groceries. Let her buy the groceries. At first made me feel guilty. I'm like, we need to. Buying her. Buying her groceries. And she wants now. It's like, I know she gives. She tells me, because we don't live close, she never spends money on our family. And so that's the way of her feeling somewhat in her mind, like she's helping us.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Of some kind. So once she kind of broke it down, and it was, like, super genuine. I've never Argued with her again because I think she really wants to do it. Otherwise she feels like I've done all this for Jackie and Jen and I didn't do it for Mike. I think it makes her feel like I'm balanced a little bit as a mom, which I can understand that. I mean, I'm not there yet, but I want all my kids to feel like fair and equal. Even though you don't need it. It's the act. She feels good doing that.

[B]

What about your folks? Anything funny they've done, we can think of?

[A]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't have anything in particular.

[B]

Trying to think of, like, appropriate ones.

[A]

I see. Yeah, I know. We see them like every weekend.

[B]

I feel. Your dad. Your dad. So Jen's dad at the brewery. So we open up the brewery.

[A]

You talk about the chair.

[B]

Yes. And I don't know if we've. I don't know if we've talked this on podcast. Sorry, you can fast forward this part. But this thing still cracked me up to this day because he. So he was very, very invested in the early phases. He was like. He had retired as a police officer. He was doing the consulting company, was waiting for the. He had, like, it, like a six month hiatus that he was doing the next gig on. He's like, I'm just gonna come help out the brewery while you're. We're doing the construction phases. So we finally get open. We have this one bar seat. He's like, that's my bar seat.

[A]

That's my seat at the.

[B]

My seat. So he's like, that's gonna be my seat. And I show up and there's a plaque, literally on the bar end.

[A]

Like a tiny one.

[B]

Tiny plaque. It says, pops, it's gold.

[A]

And he cemented it to our bar top.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

The countertop, but it's on the side. So, like your stomach touches it when you're like eating at the bar. And it's gold. And it says, pops, engraved. I go, dad, looks like you died. It looks like a death chair.

[B]

It looks like an immemorial Pops.

[A]

But every time he comes to the brewery, he gets so pumped because the first thing he does is looks at the poor soul that's sitting in his chair. And he goes up to them, he's like, excuse me, you're in my chair. And he like, that's his thing. And they're like, oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, he's like. He like points to the plow.

[B]

If you ever get accosted by Stone Cold Steve Austin at The brewery. That's Jen's dad.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

That's who he looks like.

[A]

But he's met friends doing that. So now he has a guy that he met sitting in his chair who, like, brings him bourbon chair. He, like. He, like, made friends by bullying people from sitting in this spot.

[B]

So Jen's dad has one, and then my dad, who comes eats there on Wednesdays. Usually he has the opposite side, and he's like, well, I want my chair too.

[A]

So.

[B]

So on the other side now, I got the OG Mike Todrick sitting there.

[A]

Todrick. Okay. So his plaque, my dad looks like a memoriam. Your dad's plaque looks like a headstone. It is so long and so big. And I'm like, what are you guys doing here? No one asked permission, taking her. None of the dads asked permission.

[B]

Your dad was spray painting the stage with his name last time. No, he was. It was like taking it. He was like, this is my stage now.

[A]

That's a lie. Insane. The battle of the dads at the brewery.

[B]

No, it's fun, though. I love it. I actually do love it. So, yeah, there's been plenty. There's been plenty of.

[A]

The women don't do anything because they're normal and they're sane. They're mentally sound. No one's tagging or plaqueing anything from the women. Only men.

[B]

Yeah. Hey, your mom likes oils. I remember your mom being the oily lady. Remember early on when we met essential oils? Oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. My mom liked essential oils before they were popular. Did like, we're talking way back.

[B]

I'll say this about your mom. Your mom is always, like, five years ahead of health crazes before health crazy happens. Literally 100 legitimately. She's like, seed oils are inflammable. This is like five, six years ago. She's saying all these things she's going through, and I'm like, all right, Kathy. Like, what? But she's like, spot on it, and she's spot on in it. And then five years later, it's like all the data starts coming. I was like, geez. Kathy is dialed in. Yeah, but she. But she's always. I remember she gave me one one time that smelled like pizza. Remember the oregano? She gave me oregano, one for something, and she put it on my hands, and I was like, this is so good, Kathy. I'm like, I smell like pizza for, like. Like, I couldn't get it off for like a day.

[A]

My stomach hurts. I'm laughing so hard.

[B]

Do you remember this. I'm like, yes, that's the one.

[A]

My. She'll still use them on occasion. I'm not with her on the essential oils. I don't think they do crap. So I feel bad. I'm like, mom, I don't want the oil on my stomach. I just am not with it.

[B]

I love the peppermint oil.

[A]

I'd rather pop a Tylenol.

[B]

I love the peppermint oil smell. Yeah, that stuff's legit. She put it on my temples one time. I was like, oh, man, I loved it. She, like, put it right here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I had a headache.

[A]

Then you should keep using them for that.

[B]

I know, but.

[A]

But see, I'm also not a big medicine person. I don't think to take medicine until you or Haley tell me to take it. I'm like, oh, my head is killing me. It's been three days. And you'll be like, did you take anything? And I'm like, no. I just never think to take medication. So weird. Is that a thing?

[B]

No, I think it's. I mean, it's.

[A]

I. I never think to.

[B]

Do you and I. I mean, from a standpoint, even just from. From our own purpose, we. We're not usually super quick to go to the doctor.

[A]

Pain tolerance related.

[B]

Yeah, but, like, we'll give her. We'll give our kids, like, if they have a fever, we'll give them.

[A]

Oh, yes, I'm talking about me only.

[B]

I'm just saying him in general. But we don't usually quick, quickly give our kids medicine. We don't quickly go to the doctor unless we have to.

[A]

But wait, what was the original question?

[B]

We're just saying. With funny, funny stories about her parents. Yeah.

[A]

There's so many good ones about your mom. Hold on, Let me dial in on this. Your mom will talk to anyone in the world.

[B]

She remember she met a lady on the airplane that was Fanziers. And she made. She asked me to, like, send a video. A video to her. So, yeah. Like, it was. And they still talk now. Occasionally. They'll still text. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So my mom, fans of anyone.

[A]

She, like, sat next to someone on the airplane and was making friends with them.

[B]

Best friends now. Yeah.

[A]

And then found out that they're. The people she's sitting next to were fans of mine. Came home, asked if I'd record a video with her so she could text the girl. And then they still. They still talk.

[B]

That's awesome.

[A]

To this day, that's.

[B]

But that's always. That's.

[A]

Sue.

[B]

My mom has never met A stranger. And you know. And you know, the strangers will know all the intimate details of my life.

[A]

What's crazy about your mom is your mom is friends with everyone, but she has her judgy moments.

[B]

She'll be like, ah, well, that's all.

[A]

Look at that guy over there. Like. But she's the kindest person ever. Yeah. Generation.

[B]

Yeah, you get, I think, kind of in your 70s. And yeah, you get to get. To start.

[A]

We've been nice for so long.

[B]

I will say what age. There has got to be an age out there. And if people know this, can put in the comments. There is an age where the. The give a crap level tank just goes away. As far as, like your. They. People just say what's on their mind. You're like, huh, that was out loud. You said that out loud.

[A]

Doesn't it sound, like, kind of freeing, though?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Can't you wait to use the excuse of sorry, I'm just old and senile and just say what you're actually perfectly.

[B]

And just. I guess it's like, you know, you've earned. You know, people, It's. It's.

[A]

We've been like, so, like PC for so long to just be like, man, I'm sorry I'm old.

[B]

I said before I worked in the medical field for a long time and I had a lot of patients that were in their 70s, 80s, and. And man, there's some. There's some crazy things people said. You're like, okay, that's. Those are. Those are comments.

[A]

Those are comments. Those are thoughts.

[B]

Those are some. Those are some thoughts you got there. All right. Okay. Well, that's funny. We didn't even do this last episode, man. We were so unfun.

[A]

Weird questions.

[B]

We didn't even do this last episode.

[A]

We gotta lighten this up.

[B]

What?

[A]

We can't go back in time, Michael.

[B]

I know. Well, we talked about that episode. Cannot go back in time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, that's not funny. That was actually serious horrible question. We already did this one. We got to recycle some of these things.

[A]

Okay, maybe I need to ask Instagram for new ones.

[B]

We did that one.

[A]

Why do they keep going back?

[B]

I don't think we did this one. Okay, if you were a lollipop, what flavor would you be and why?

[A]

It's a lame question. Who freaking cares? I guess I would be mystery flavor. Because I like to not know.

[B]

You would be a mystery flavor.

[A]

I like the surprise and I try to guess it. I'll sit on a mystery airhead. I Think I read this somewhere my whole life. I thought you were trying to guess the airhead flavor that was in the white. And it's its own flavor.

[B]

It is its own flavor. It's like blue raspberry.

[A]

I learned this, like, two months ago.

[B]

It's like blue raspberry without flavor.

[A]

It's just so. Every time Little Gin ate an airhead, I'd be like, sure. This is freaking orange. Got it. Well, I'm getting. I'm getting some like. And I was getting no hints of that, but I was telling myself, pickle.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I thought they were one of the original flavors.

[B]

Do you ever have meatloaf candy that doesn't exist? I don't know. I think it does.

[A]

Meatloaf is gross.

[B]

Meatloaf is great, by the way. It's ketchup. Yum. Put it on a sandwich. Even better.

[A]

I've made my Mike meatloaf like three times. Times in our whole existence together.

[B]

Meatloaf, isn't it. It's better the day after on a sandwich.

[A]

I should eat it now. It's just a hunk of meat.

[B]

Yeah. I think it has binder in it, though. Pretty sure.

[A]

What lollipop would you be, Mike?

[B]

What lollipop would I be? You know, I'm kind of a classic guy.

[A]

No, great.

[B]

No, I have. I have layers of complexity.

[A]

Onion flavor.

[B]

No, I'd. I'd be a Tootsie Pop because, you know, I got them hard on the outside. Soft.

[A]

Really not hard on the outside.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I love that you think that complex.

[B]

I have. I. I go through evolutions. Flavor. Yeah, you. I'm very.

[A]

Have a lot of knowledge and facts in there, so you have to get. I would be layers of information to get shocked.

[B]

Tootsie roll pop with the Indian with the star. You know what I'm talking about.

[A]

But what flavor.

[B]

Do you know what I'm talking?

[A]

Yes, I know, because I used to think you could get free ones. You can start.

[B]

I think I've done it. I think it was all why I've done it. How do you. I've done it. How is it a life? I've. I've redeemed it.

[A]

Where did you redeem it?

[B]

In my mind. I redeemed him at the corner store. But I think that's a fake memory figure.

[A]

Yeah, you're.

[B]

You're pretty sure that's a fake memory. Here, let me read that one. Is that at random?

[A]

Oh, I dropped it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

My fingers didn't close fast enough on the paper. Like a line.

[B]

We've. Gosh we gotta. We actually literally gotta rewrite some of these.

[A]

Honey, if you were a lollipop, what flavor would you be and why? Come on, take it out of there.

[B]

Tootsie Classic Tootsie Roll Pop. What are they called? Tootsie Pops. Tootsie Pops.

[A]

Oh, I love this. What's our worst pet peeves of each other?

[B]

Let's end on a fight.

[A]

Well, I have to think, actually. I love that I couldn't come up with something quickly, now that I think about it.

[B]

The only one. And you're gonna get defensive because the second I say something like, no, I won't.

[A]

I won't say anything.

[B]

The only one that does drive me a little bit crazy is old coffee cups and old yogurt and old cereal bowls get left out. Out occasionally. All the time. On your bed stand or in the bathroom or they get moved onto my sink. That's. That's it. And it's a small one. It's a small one.

[A]

It's true.

[B]

It's not a big deal.

[A]

I know. No one, you know, perfect.

[B]

Do.

[A]

I can be close?

[B]

Do I say anything anymore?

[A]

You don't.

[B]

And I just grab it and I throw it away.

[A]

Okay. Do you know what? I'm gonna be honest with you. Sometimes, just for funsies, I'll take all the cups and I'll put them on your side just for fun, just to see if you say anything.

[B]

And you know what? I've gotten so used to it, I just.

[A]

You just moved it back. And then I wait till you leave.

[B]

And I'm like, putting on makeup, and then I'm like, we did. I don't know. Gosh, it must have been. I got. It was almost last year. I think it was like six. That they. You'd go in, and then I started putting them in your sink.

[A]

Yeah, you did.

[B]

And then you would grab. Then you would take another one, and then it would. You put them back in my sink. And then eventually.

[A]

It's a fun game.

[B]

We never even, like, argued about it. We just kept moving your garbage back and forth between sinks.

[A]

True. It's just my room is a really, really far away from the kitchen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I just wait till you do it. Also, do you know what my. Well, I gotta think of my pet peeves. Hold on. I've got a few.

[B]

I know. I leave the lights on. I leave the cabinets open, so.

[A]

Right. I didn't even think about that.

[B]

I leave the cabinets open occasionally. I have add. It's my fault.

[A]

I have adhd and I don't do any of that.

[B]

So see, it's my fault. I said it's my fault and say it's not my fault. Take ownership.

[A]

Okay. I do have the. The main pet peeve that you. That encapsulates a few things. And you also don't think this about yourself. You're a little bit of a slob.

[B]

No. No, I'm not.

[A]

You are.

[B]

No, I'm not. We dropped a little disorganized.

[A]

We drop trout next to the bed and leave our clothes and step over them for a week. Your hats, your shoes, all of your paraphernalia is always just constantly what I pick up all day. And if I. Beer cans on back of sofa tables. Just did it last night.

[B]

I don't. I haven't a beer can.

[A]

It wasn't last night. It was a few nights ago.

[B]

More than that. Listen, a little slobbish. No, I make piles. I make.

[A]

Okay, thank you for proving my point. Right there.

[B]

Organized piles. I don't. Not dirty, but I do make piles.

[A]

You're not dirty. You're a slob.

[B]

No, you don't have orange. Dirty. I. I'm disoriented.

[A]

Let's tell story. Story time.

[B]

I'm not the most. I will say this as well. Like, I. I'm very organized on my computer. I know where all my files are. Like, certain things I've had, like, train myself, like, very much. Like, do this or you're going to lose everything. It was like schoolwork and things like that I got organized on. But then it's like, on my desk, they'll be like a giant pile of mail. I'm like, oh, gosh, I gotta go through this mail. It's like, I hate that. I don't like organizing. It's like. It's like, I hate taxes and I hate Spence reports. I don't like accounting. They're boring. That's organizing. That's why you like Rummy Cube. Foreign organizing.

[A]

So, yeah, you're not dirty. You're just a slob. Okay? That's all. You leave everything around. It's just the same thing as, like, honey, you can't sit here and openly admit that you never turn lights off and you leave cabinet doors, but you pick up after yourself constantly. No, it doesn't go hand in hand. And the best part is he organized four drawers in our entire home. And the drawers are this big. Six drawers, two by twos, and. And they're the electrical cords. And he comes in and he's like, somebody used. I had this labeled. Why did no one put this back in this drawer. And I'm like, oh, don't feel bad for you, dude, because you don't know where anything is in this house.

[B]

Listen, if we put labels everywhere, I would. I would. I took the time to make the label maker says, portable chargers, which, by the way, we lose those. Those and kids water cups. Those are the two things that, like, seem to disappear constantly.

[A]

Probably in all of my bags, my purses, if I'm gonna be real. Yeah, that's my biggest pet peeve. If you could be.

[B]

Oh, can I give you one? One more?

[A]

Oh, sure. Lay it on me. I'll have another one for my backup.

[B]

You don't. You have a tendency to not know where your keys are, or you'll lose a key and be like, it's no big deal.

[A]

Oh, totally. This man. This man will make you think our house is burning down.

[B]

Who loses their car keys?

[A]

And it's like, it's not losing. It's just me misplacing. And I know I'm gonna find it when I pick up this house, and I always do. He gets a hole in a tizzy as we're 15 minutes late. God forbid we can't find the backup key. When I have the other key in my hand, I'm like, mike.

[B]

But it's not a lot like, my mind. My mind doesn't work there. My mind's like, this is how you get in our house. This is how you get into the car.

[A]

It's in a purse somewhere. No, it's. It's not gone. I just don't have it in my hand to show you right this second.

[B]

So. So, yeah. Okay. There you go.

[A]

One is stronger than the other based on pet peeves.

[B]

I don't know what that means.

[A]

Meaning all I do is leave coffee cups around.

[B]

I was being nice.

[A]

Lay it on me. Tell me what you really feel. We need only honest opinions here. This is a safe space. There's only friends listening to this small group of friends delayed on me.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

Tell me what else you think. I think on that note, we have now put a completion on family relationships.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think we're good.

[B]

I'm sure there's gonna be plenty more conversations you could have about this one, but.

[A]

Yeah, I think we covered two parts. So again, if you missed the first week, go back and watch that first week again from.

[B]

From everything Jen and I say is always from our point of view and the things that we've been through. And there's a lot of people that have different circumstances and life basis and.

[A]

Only have our perspective lives.

[B]

And like I said, and if there's, you know, take it from. Whereas we come a place that, you know, this way we talk works for us. So we're gonna just speak the way that we want to speak and, you know, hopefully you guys get something out of it. So I think it was, you know, I think it's good.

[A]

Yeah, I think it was good. All right, well, if you have any comments, suggestions, please email. You, me and mike podcast gmail.com Again, that is all spelled out. You, me and mike podcast gmail.com. if you would like to leave us a review, we would love that too. If it's a positive review. If not, we will catch you on the next episode next week. And we don't even know we're going to talk about next week.

[B]

So let your friends know about it if you like it too. Why not, right?

[A]

Share the pod.

[B]

Share the pot.

[A]

Appreciate it.

[B]

Isn't that like. It's like when you're at church, like, bring a friend. Yes, bring a friend to the project.

[A]

Podcast is like church. All right, bye, guys. Thanks for listening.

[B]

I guess see you next week.

[A]

Yeah.