Ep. 214: This Episode is All Your Fault

Summary

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You, Me & Mike — Ep. 214: "This Episode is All Your Fault"

Hosts: Jenn Todryk & Mike Todryk
Date: January 14, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and freewheeling episode, Jenn and Mike Todryk dive into their “Jar of Weird Questions” tradition, answering a variety of quirky, thought-provoking, and downright hilarious listener-submitted questions. The couple riff candidly on everything from clogged shower drains and socially unacceptable bodily functions, to their circus alter-egos, beverage-dispensing fingers, and the great debate over public reviews. True to their signature style, the Todryks combine heartfelt moments with unfiltered comedy, giving listeners an authentic slice of their relationship and family life.

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Key Topics & Discussion Highlights

1. “Jar of Weird Questions” Returns

• [00:04] The episode is entirely dedicated to listener questions, continuing a tradition from season one but with a digital twist—pulling questions from a box on their phones.
• Jenn expresses excitement over the episode format: “I feel like people get to know so much about us from jar of weird.” [04:29]

2. Real Life & Family Bloopers

• Starts with a false-alarm “big announcement” from Jenn—turns out their shower drain is clogged (again) and kicks off playful banter about hair shedding and responsibilities around the house.
• Mike jokes about past parenting gross-outs (“Vivy threw up in his actual mouth when she was a baby.” [03:15]) and his tolerance for kids’ bodily functions.

3. Comedy & Singing Aspirations

• Mike reveals he used to be in a golden state-winning quartet in eighth grade, claims he could be a professional singer “if [he] had a teleprompter for the lyrics.” [06:17]
• Playful tension as Jenn questions Mike's self-assessment:
  • "Hand to the Bible, you think you're a good [singer]?"
  • Mike: “I know I’m good.” [05:30]

4. Deep and Quirky Questions

a. “If mirrors showed only vibes, what would yours be?”

• Both debate what their “vibes” would look like ([07:10]):
  • Jenn: “Upbeat, a tigger personality… excited for all the things I actually completed.” [09:56]
  • Mike: “Joyful… I also think I’m list ‘gsd’ – get stuff done.” [08:41]
  • Jenn teases Mike for always having random facts ready.
  • Mike: “I want to be known as a positive person, have fun, get stuff done.” [08:40]

b. “What shouldn’t be socially acceptable but you wish it was?”

• Mike advocates for big burps in public as a sign of meal appreciation ([12:26]):
  • “That should be— not only acceptable, but like appreciated and respected.”
• Jenn champions public farting for comedic value:
  • “Do you know how many people would laugh per day if farting was something socially acceptable?” [12:53]

c. Remodeling: Still Fun?

• Jenn confirms she enjoys remodeling, though now focuses on personal projects:
  • “Remodeling is fun. It's just—I'm not doing it outside my own stuff right now.” [15:08]
  • Mike credits Jenn’s ability to help others discover their vision.

d. Circus Careers

• Jenn: “I would ride a horse… my circus has horse riders.” [19:04]
• Mike: “I’d be a clown. I want non-creepy clowns to come back.” [19:20]

e. Playing Hooky

• Jenn: “Play tennis all day.” [20:25]
• Mike: “I’d be on the golf course.” [20:27]

5. Wild Would-You-Rathers & Hypotheticals

• Walking like a chimp vs. pretending to bite people like a bat. [22:54]
• Farting every time you hear “hello” vs. falling asleep whenever bored. [29:02]
• Renaming each other:
  • Jenn: “Not Mike, maybe James… or Philippe? Just kidding. Arnold.”
  • Mike jokes: “I’d name you Ginger. Ginger Spice.” [39:39]

6. Public Reviews & Feedback Culture

• Heated yet humorous debate over the positivity/negativity bias in online reviews:
  • Jenn: “We’re fighting against all the negative Nancys that only leave bad reviews.” [23:54]
  • Mike: “If you have a bad experience, go talk to the manager... going on a public forum to say something was bad is... it gets frustrating.” [26:12]
  • They reference stats (54% read negative reviews more closely, but most reviews are positive) [25:51]

7. Food Oddities and Guilty Pleasures

• Jenn: “Syrup on eggs… it’s really not that bad.” [27:37]
• Mike: “Peanut butter and butter sandwiches… that’s my preferred way to eat peanut butter.” [28:20]

8. Secret Daily Habits

• Jenn admits to “conversing with herself” and dancing or singing privately:
  • “You walk in on me talking to myself. Maybe it’s a woman thing.”
• Mike: “I'll make up songs for no reason... I'll make voices to the kids to try to make them laugh.” [33:32]

9. If Your Fingers Dispensed Beverages

• Jenn’s five: Water, coffee, root beer, sweet tea, chocolate milkshake. [35:06]
• Mike's choices: Water, coffee, Coke Zero, beer, whiskey. [36:33]

10. Hilarity Around Bodily Functions

• Pooping habits, bathroom boundaries, and the legendary “Whole Foods Log” story ([43:05]):
  • Jenn: “I get a text from Haley… I saw the longest poop log in the toilet that was not flushed… I almost sent you a picture.”
  • Mike: “Maybe toilets need to be redesigned and be more like the lid of an icy cup…” [44:07]
  • On bidets: Jenn shares her first shocked experience in Vegas, and the couple looks forward to a future “bidet review” segment. [44:54]

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Memorable Quotes

• Mike: “A hot lie you just told to a lot of people.” [01:50] (regarding shaving in the shower)
• Jenn: “I’m a tigger personality, kind of upbeat and bouncing all over the place.” [09:56]
• Mike: "I want to be known as a positive person. I also think I'm list 'gsd'—get stuff done." [08:40]
• Jenn: “Do you know how many people would laugh per day if farting was something socially acceptable?... It’s not like I want to be around farts all the time...” [12:53]
• Mike: "Burps should be appreciated and respected." [12:26]
• Mike: “I want non-creepy clowns to come back.” [19:25]
• Jenn: “I converse with myself all the time... Me, myself, and I.” [31:51]
• Mike: "I would name you Ginger. Ginger Spice." [39:39]
• Jenn (re: bidets): “I've heard it's like a massage for your butthole.” [44:33]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:04 – Episode setup and family banter
• 04:20 – Jar of Weird Questions intro
• 07:10 – If mirrors showed only vibes discussion
• 12:26 – Socially acceptable burping and farting debate
• 15:08 – Remodeling: Is It Still Fun?
• 19:04 – Circus Jobs
• 20:25 – Playing Hooky: What Would You Do?
• 22:54 – Would-you-rathers (walking like a chimp vs biting like a bat, etc.)
• 23:54 – The online reviews debate
• 27:37 – Weirdest food combinations
• 29:02 – Fart or fall asleep hypothetical
• 33:32 – Secret daily habits
• 35:06 – Finger beverage dispenser question
• 43:05 – “Whole Foods Log” bathroom story
• 44:54 – Bidets and future review plan

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Tone and Atmosphere

The Todryks are their trademark candid, unfiltered, and affectionate selves—laughing often (even at each other’s expense), poking fun at mundane family life, and inviting listeners into their debate-club-style banter. The episode flows chaotically, but is held together by their chemistry and an undercurrent of joy and mutual respect.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a quintessential “You, Me & Mike”: chaotic, vulnerable, endlessly silly, and deeply rooted in real marriage and parenthood. Whether discussing poop pictures, wild would-you-rathers, or the philosophy of online reviews, Jenn and Mike make listeners feel like part of their (slightly oddball) family circle.

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Standout Segment:
The candid conversation about bodily functions—including stories of kid vomit, the social acceptability of burps and farts, and the “Whole Foods Log”—captures the humor and honesty that defines the podcast.
[12:26, 43:05]

Listener Takeaway:
Leave more positive reviews, laugh at yourself, and don’t take life (or each other) too seriously—especially when it comes to clogged showers, clowns, and creative beverage dispensers.

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Transcript

[A]

Back again, baby.

[B]

I'm looking at questions, trying to get ready.

[A]

I know. We're gonna do a special episode today, and we are going to do an entire episode where we just answer you guys questions from the jar of weird questions, but instead of having a jar that we're picking out of. Which probably would have been more fun. It would have been, but we have a whole question box of them. And so we each have our phone up. So we'll randomly ask each other questions. Correct.

[B]

So look for it.

[A]

Yeah, I think it'll be fun.

[B]

We'll look through these.

[A]

I do have something. I do have something I need to tell you, though.

[B]

I have a beautiful pink phone that I get to do it on as the.

[A]

No one would have noticed that. I do have something I need to tell you, though.

[B]

What's up?

[A]

Are you in a good mental headspace to take this?

[B]

You pregnant?

[A]

No. It's something that's pretty big. Are you good?

[B]

Am I good? Haley? No. What?

[A]

Are you good?

[B]

I hope so. What's up?

[A]

Our shower drains clogged again.

[B]

Oh, go figure. Okay, that.

[A]

That's all. I was taking a shower last night.

[B]

Did you just tell me now?

[A]

Yeah, I just. I guess remembered. I meant to tell you last night after the shower. I was like, literally, like, bathing in a river shower.

[B]

You got me all nervous here. I'm like, what are you telling me right now? On. I guess we could have edited it if it. Something really crazy. Okay.

[A]

No, I was taking share last night, and I was like, dang it. As the water's creeping up to my ankles. Thank goodness our shower is so deep.

[B]

Yeah, we got. We got some. We could bathe in there. Basically. Didn't. We should have just called Victor on that.

[A]

Well, you know what makes me sad? What makes me. We can just take the snake. We don't need someone to do that.

[B]

For us because I tried to snake that thing. It's just your hair gets so far down into it.

[A]

You have hair, too.

[B]

Do you think I don't even shave in the shower anymore? I shave. Like, that's a lie. I know.

[A]

A hot lie you just told to a lot of people.

[B]

Look at your hair. Look at my hair. Okay, so your hair has ended up in people. In my butt crack before.

[A]

It's true. So it is my hair. And it's really sad because my hair is like. I'm going through a shedding. No, I'm going through a shedding phase where my hair is just falling out.

[B]

Hormonal or is it?

[A]

I think it's because all those supplements I've been taking. My hormones are now shifting, which, even if it's like a really great shift, it's. My body freaks out and sheds. So I looked and I was like, no. So now when I shower and, like, wash my hair, I do it so tenderly to try to, like, keep my hair intact.

[B]

I showered and didn't notice it. Maybe a shower short enough that it didn't matter. I don't know.

[A]

But it's bad.

[B]

I didn't notice it.

[A]

Well, I'm telling you now.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

It's bad.

[B]

I'll get out it.

[A]

Thank you. You know I can't do wedding.

[B]

Well, this podcast is over. I'm going to go. You know, I can't shower now. I don't.

[A]

I'm pretty good with. I don't get grossed out. I get grossed out by two things. I don't get grossed out easily, but one thing that'll do it is clumps of wet hair with unidentifiable objects caught inside. Like, from a shower. I instantly start gagging. 2. Throw up gets me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, when the kids vomit everywhere. I'm like. I'm a. I'm a involuntarily, like, empath.

[B]

Throw up doesn't bother. Smile gets me. So. But I can close my nose and. And bear through it that the look and the texture doesn't. I've been throwing up in my face and in my mouth, so. Yeah. And I didn't even throw up. Little vivy got me. Bam.

[A]

Vivy threw up in his actual mouth when she was a baby.

[B]

Holding her right here. And she just projectile vomited in my face. Yeah, that happened.

[A]

I remember happens.

[B]

That's all right. Well, you know what? In those moments, I was. Yeah. A poor girl in the moment.

[A]

You enjoyed it. You loved it.

[B]

I was like, oh, yum.

[A]

This is so good.

[B]

I get to taste some baby food. This is what it tastes like. Yum, yum.

[A]

So gross. But I can handle poop all day long. Like, smear poop on me. I'm fine.

[B]

I got a question for you.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What do you call a factory that makes just okay products?

[A]

Why are we doing this again? This a joke?

[B]

I don't know. It's just. What do you call a factor? Just makes just okay products.

[A]

Something with average.

[B]

It's a satisfactory.

[A]

Where are you hearing all these jokes?

[B]

Told you. I'm writing them.

[A]

It's pretty good creative writing.

[B]

Writing these at night. No, I already talked about this lesson. Writing these at night. When you're. When you're in Bed. I craft them.

[A]

Whatever. When I go to bed, you go to bed. There's no way.

[B]

Making my notes. Making my notes a satisfactory.

[A]

Okay, we're gonna jump into these jar weird questions. This is something. A tradition, if you will, from season one.

[B]

Yeah, this episode's gonna be free form. We're just gonna do weird ones today.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like people get to know so much about us from jar of weird.

[B]

I get to know things about me from these questions. I mean, it's a reflection. It's like. It's this. Like being in the shower and singing. I realize how good I am. Do you?

[A]

Okay, be real. I'm no funny. I'm no being funny.

[B]

I do think I'm a great singer.

[A]

You do think you're a good. No, be honest, Mike.

[B]

The right tone. You're lying.

[A]

Be honest.

[B]

Hey, man, maybe I get a little bit. Like if I had a little coaching somebody that boosted me up, I was in.

[A]

You mean sing it for you?

[B]

Pre puberty, I could hold a tune.

[A]

Okay, so truth like hand to the Bible. You think you're a good.

[B]

I'll back off grade. In eighth grade, we got golden state for our quartet. And I was part of that quartet.

[A]

Yeah, but you're drowned out by other singers.

[B]

What are you talking about? But I wouldn't. How would you get gold? Gold was like number one. Number one in state.

[A]

How would I get.

[B]

How would I get a number one in state if I would. If I was an awful singer now again, my voice changed. I think I could do it. My voice changed. Then I'll.

[A]

Then I'll be nicer about that. If you think you're.

[B]

I am good. I don't even know. I know I'm good.

[A]

I always thought you knew.

[B]

I just can't hear. I just can't hear. Like, if I hear myself, I need to fed up. If I had a in ear monitor. I think that's my hardest thing is I don't know what I sound like without a. Without a monitor. Because I can. I can catch a tune if I close my ear and realize, like, oh, I'm off key. And then I can change my key.

[A]

Okay, interesting.

[B]

But I know I'm not a great singer. I'm just a really good singer.

[A]

Okay, so you think you're good?

[B]

I could be good.

[A]

Okay. And I'll leave you alone and I'll stop being so negative fancy about your singing. Because I. I don't.

[B]

I'm okay with you. You know, Look, I. Look the. The inside of me. I don't need your outside appreciation to you're singing. Build me up to be. Because I'm not gonna. I. Could I be a professional singer? Absolutely.

[A]

Okay, we're done.

[B]

Absolutely off the rails. But here's the issue. I could never be a professional singer because I'd have to have the lyrics in front of me. So that's the problem. I could do it.

[A]

You'd go to, like, your concert, like, dancing with, like.

[B]

I would have to have, like, some sort of teleprompter at all times because I can sing in church, because I can read the weird lyrics and I know all the words because it's right there. Reading. Reading the lyrics right in front of me. So I would have to have that.

[A]

You'd be the worst pop star or, like, rock star. Like, in moment, like, head banging, reading.

[B]

Yeah, I can do it. I just gotta have the lyrics there, right there to see it.

[A]

All right, I'm gonna take the first questions. The first question for you. This is good. I like it. It's deep.

[B]

Oh, it's a deep one.

[A]

Yeah. Should I say who submitted it?

[B]

Oh, deep.

[A]

See, I. The thing is, if I say their name, I don't know if it's their actual name. Weller, Danny asks, if Mirrors only showed vibes and not appearance, what would your vibe be?

[B]

I don't even understand the context of that question.

[A]

If Mirrors only showed, like, vibrations vibes. No, like, your aura, your.

[B]

The way you act question. What does that mean?

[A]

I thought it was creative.

[B]

Okay. I don't even know. Let me think how to answer that. What vibe would I be like?

[A]

Yeah, I think that could be, like.

[B]

That's a zeny last.

[A]

Like, I think.

[B]

I think.

[A]

I think my vibe would be, like, someone who's, like, upbeat, you know, like. Right. Like, I just want to be happy most of the time. Like, I think yours would be something that would focus on, like, maybe math or numbers swirling around your head. Like information. Maybe random facts.

[B]

No.

[A]

Swirling around your head.

[B]

I. I'm a positive person.

[A]

You are, but that's your vibe. You are positive, Mr. Know It all and will insert a random fact in any conversation.

[B]

That sounds awful. I hate. I don't like that vibe.

[A]

No, but you know, a lot of.

[B]

Facts I don't want to buy. I want to be like, that is your vibe. No one. Like, so I'm like. I just interject my.

[A]

I think you'd also look like this. I'd be, like, smiley. Like a guy that's really happy.

[B]

No. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, no, it's not. No, I'M trying to figure out how to answer it. If you're seeing this, say, from a standpoint of, like, overall thing, it doesn't hate it. It's not that I hate that question. I don't know how to answer that. Like, how do we want to be known? I think I'm a pretty positive person. I also think I'm list gsd. Have fun.

[A]

What's gsd?

[B]

Get stuff done. But the S is usually a different letter, a different word. What? Yeah, get it done. Let's do it. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. I was like, what are you saying?

[B]

Stuff done.

[A]

I'm trying to be pg. So you don't know what your vibe is.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I mean, I think you're happy. I think you also would have a lot of random facts somewhere around you.

[B]

Well, it's fun to know things, right?

[A]

That's your vibe.

[B]

Curious.

[A]

I don't have that vibe.

[B]

You're.

[A]

You're not.

[B]

I'm a curious person. I want to know things.

[A]

I'm a curious person about people. Not.

[B]

Yeah, you just ask, like, super deep questions the first minute you meet. Hey, it's really nice to meet you, Jen Todger. So tell me about the deepest trauma you had in your childhood. How did that feel when your parents left you abandoned?

[A]

You know what is weird, though? I don't like to sit and think about emotions too much, but I do ask. Ask probably a lot of questions.

[B]

So why did you make that choice?

[A]

But I think a lot of. But that sounds judgmental. I think I just like to know things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know. Genuine, but I like to, like, ask people about themselves.

[B]

I don't know if I've ever asked somebody, what's your vibe?

[A]

Well, I'm gonna add.

[B]

I tried that to my interview repertoire when I'm interviewing people. So tell me about. Tell me your vibe. What's your vibe?

[A]

Okay, here's a good one.

[B]

How would you answer that?

[A]

How's my vibe?

[B]

You would say upbeat.

[A]

I think I would be a little bit of, like, a tigger personality kind of upbeat and bouncing all over the place because it's hard for me to focus. However, I think my vibe is, like, with my enneagram8, I feel like I just like to be. I like to look at the end of my day and be, like, excited for all the things that I actually completed. And I'm like, this is a productive day. Like, I get a high off of. Like, this is good. Like, I like that feeling. So maybe something tied in with that.

[B]

I just. I mean, I know this Is super cliche. I hope it's just joy. Joyful. It's really what it is at the end of the day. I mean, I want to accomplish things and get things done, but if I, I. Yeah, I hope that's what it is.

[A]

All right, next question. What's something that shouldn't be socially acceptable but you wish it was? I feel like you'll answer this amazing and I don't know.

[B]

What is not socially acceptable?

[A]

What is not socially acceptable but you wish it was? I feel like you're going to have some funny, creative answer that would be good. And I can't think of it.

[B]

I mean, socially acceptable. Look, it's. There's a lot of things that I feel like nowadays. There's so many things that I grew up with that weren't socially acceptable. That, like wearing pajamas to. To. To work, which is. I feel like half the people like just show up with oversized, baggy sweatpants and, and shower shoes, which is what our son likes to wear to like, like the. Whatever his. His sandals. Okay, is that is now socially acceptable? When I was a kid, that was like totally not socially acceptable.

[A]

So what's something people.

[B]

People get out of bed and. And start their day without doing anything. Have you noticed that? I feel like the lot of people.

[A]

I see, that's probably just younger generations. And then you morph into something different when you're older. That's just growing up. Maybe, you know, that's style.

[B]

But style. So style is just get out of bed.

[A]

I think when you're.

[B]

Start your day, I think wake up.

[A]

No, I think we're in a moment where you would say the younger generation dresses sloppy, but that's like their trends.

[B]

They do.

[A]

But by the time they get into like 30s and 40s, that won't be it anymore because you more, you know.

[B]

What they dress like what I dressed like in high school.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Which is. So it's.

[A]

No, so it's a. It's like a. It's a age thing for sure.

[B]

It's like the, the baggy jeans and the, and the oversized shirt. Everything was oversized. Everything was oversized.

[A]

I'm currently wearing T shirts and sweatpants.

[B]

I know. I mean, we're guilty of it as well. Okay, well, look, I think skipping that. I do think a great burp in public to like be appreciative of the food you ate should be a socially acceptable thing. I think, like if you're at a nice fine dining restaurant and it was super good and you just let out like, you rip out the largest loudest burp.

[A]

Like Vaughn and Disney just.

[B]

Yeah, he did do that. It was awesome. I think that should be like. Like, you should applaud that. Like, that should be not only acceptable, but like. But like appreciated and respected. That should be. That's what I would say.

[A]

Wait, I have a good one. I finally have a good answer. That, I mean, like, with my whole chest farting, think about if you really had tummy issues that day and you could just let it go because socially.

[B]

It was like Elsa let it go.

[A]

It's not like I want to be around farts all the time. But also, do you know how many people would laugh per day if farting was something socially acceptable? In public, you can't help yourself. Like, sometimes they're so squeaky and funny sounding like someone ripped it in hobby lobby. You would have to be like, laugh, but then walk away because you don't.

[B]

Want to smell it is funny because it's funny because it is socially inappropriate. That's why it's funny. But so if everyone did it, then it wouldn't be funny.

[A]

I don't know. I'm just like farting.

[B]

I kind of want. I kind of want the farts to be like, when it slips out, you can laugh at that person. Not with. At. And it's even better because you can laugh at me. If I rip out a massive one, you can point a finger at me and laugh. I deserve that. And I'd be laughing at myself as well. Because it's funny. If you rip out a big fart and a little juice comes out, it's even better. How?

[A]

But how far? Yeah, that took it too far. That took it way too far. But goose is disgusting. But for real, it be farts.

[B]

What? But a burp farts. But a burp shows appreciation of fart. I want to keep those private. And then because it's funnier.

[A]

Keep them.

[B]

They're special because when they slip out, like when grandpa's walking around and letting up big old toots in front of our kids face, it's funny. That's funny.

[A]

Okay, you. Now you. I beat you in this question. I think I actually had the better answer.

[B]

I would have said first, I don't know.

[A]

Finally, I answered a jar Weird question.

[B]

Better than mine. What else is a little bit social? Look, I don't know.

[A]

I pick y's all the time. So whether that's socially acceptable or not scratching your butt. I'm not scratching my butt. I'm like, I hate where my under replacement is.

[B]

Look, I don't think the thing part of it is I don't think it's a big deal. Somebody farts anyway. So it's like maybe that's part of it. It's.

[A]

It's not.

[B]

I mean I don't want to do it at dinner. I don't want our kid blasting funny.

[A]

Cuz you do at in public.

[B]

I don't want it happening. Look, at a dinner table might be funny. Like if it's a good one, I might turn my head and laugh because it's funny.

[A]

It's not.

[B]

It's gross.

[A]

God's dinner table. I know who farted in the prayer recently. We were praying over dinner and someone ripped it.

[B]

We won't talk about it. Well, one of our children.

[A]

One of our children. And we were like unacceptable. We are talking to the Lord.

[B]

I'm going to give you one.

[A]

Okay. Give me two actually. Well, one at a time.

[B]

All right. This is a good question I'm going to ask you because I. You'll say yes. I know what it still is. Somebody asked you if you think remodeling is still fun.

[A]

Yeah, I'm doing it right now in my own home.

[B]

That's. I was. It was actually leading to that. I was like, yeah. We talk about what our crap we're doing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Flood damage. We, you know, fun fact. We had roof damage. And our immediate people. Yeah, it sucks.

[A]

Remodeling is fun. It's just I'm not doing it outside of my own stuff right now. I always say in the future potentially. But we just have so much going on with our own businesses right now. It's. It's right now as far as like our time. What's worth our time spent. It makes more sense to focus on our own companies and our brands and doing what I do here.

[B]

And I think you like it. It's just seeing the teams spun up again and I love it. And seeing the end results like getting people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, seeing the vision and helping people actually sometimes even understand their vision. That's why I think your show was really good is that they did hand over reigns to you. You found out what they were. And then sometimes some of the best thing when you come to remodeling what's hard about is when you have infinite number of choices and when you have act somebody's really good at you hand it over and it creates something great. And fortunately this wasn't like Trading Spaces. Remember that show where people did awful.

[A]

I want them to bring back Trading Spaces and I want to host it. Put me in that awkward section, I would love it. Okay, friends, a little mid show break. I have talked about Seed, who is the sponsor of this episode, for a long time now, because it actually did something for me. I originally started taking seed when I was dealing with really stubborn cystic hormonal acne a few years back. It was awful. I didn't like the way it looked. It was super painful. Um, and I was willing to really try anything under the sun. I was pretty desperate. And the more I got looking into how digestive health really does impact acne for most of us, I decided that's when I wanted to give seed a try. What surprised me was what happened next with my skin calming down with a slew of, you know, I tried up different skin products and whatnot. I was taking supplements as well. But truthfully, I think seed did a ton of improvements when it came to my skin. When I was taking it regularly, I started for acne, but I actually stayed because when I was super compliant and I took it regularly, I felt like my cramps around my period were gone. So again, started for the acne, stayed for literally having pain free cramps, which blew my mind. It also helped with bloating. I feel like I didn't bloat near as much on my period. And again, I didn't even realize that was like a huge issue that I was struggling with until I took seat and realized that I did not look so bloated or not as full anymore. So again, started for the skin, but I stayed for other things that really improved when taking seed. What seed actually is, is it's a daily synbiotic, meaning it's a probiotic and a prebiotic in one. It contains 24 scientifically studied strains that support things like digestive health, gut barrier integrity, skin health, and even your micronutrient synthesis. And unlike most probiotics that get destroyed in your gut acid before it actually does anything, Seed uses a two part capsule designed to survive the digestion. So the strain actually reaches the part of your gut where it can actually do something for you. And that's why people actually feel a difference. And it's not just a hype. They also invest in clinical research, which is pretty unheard of for the supplement world. Seed tests their strains, not just the finished bottle. So you know what you're taking is actually doing something. And I'm not alone because 92% of seed members recommend DS01 to a friend or family member, which is pretty wild. And I, I get why go ahead and get ahead of the new Year with a routine that helps you now by going to seed.com jen and use the code 20 gen for 20 off your first month. That is 20 off your first month of seeds DS01 daily [e-mail] Jen. That's Jen with two N's. Code 20 gen with two NS. Okay, give me another one. That's not a weird question.

[B]

It wasn't weird. It's just random question.

[A]

Um, like scroll like this.

[B]

All right. What job would you do if you joined the circus? I think that's a good question.

[A]

Ooh, circus. I would ride a horse.

[B]

Is that a circus job or is that just.

[A]

I think they have horses, don't they?

[B]

I'm sure, but that just sounds like being part of like a rodeo.

[A]

Well, my circus has horse riders and we do tricks on the horses.

[B]

They're okay. So you'd be in a question.

[A]

You'd be in a while I'm on the horse.

[B]

You could do that. You'd be laughing. I'd be a clown. I think it'd be fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wouldn't.

[A]

I want good at that.

[B]

I want non creepy clowns to come back. Like, I'm sad that our entire generation of kids now think clowns are only creepy.

[A]

I don't think it can, honey.

[B]

But clowns used to be funny.

[A]

What's done is done.

[B]

Like when I was a kid, you weren't scared of a clown. You went to the circus and they were like funny and goofy and they like made jokes. It was like little. I mean, they did acts, but hot take.

[A]

I have never once been fearful of the clown. The whole scary clown thing doesn't affect me.

[B]

I know. Well, the makeup, they are still clowns. Like Cirque du Soleil still has the clowns that go in. They're usually the pre shows. They just don't wear makeup anymore.

[A]

No, right.

[B]

And they're. They're more like physical humor. And that's what clowns were, was all physical humor. It's funny.

[A]

No, clowns don't freak me out. The only clown I'd be afraid of is John Wayne Gacy, but other than that.

[B]

Yeah, that. Maybe he's the one that destroyed that. Thank you. Big serial killer. Don't. Don't do that anymore. All right, you want to ask one or. I'll keep.

[A]

I'm going do one more.

[B]

Here's one. One, two, three. There we go. We're stop on this one.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

If you could play hooky for a day, what would you do?

[A]

Play tennis all day.

[B]

I mean, wow. I'd be on the golf course.

[A]

See?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right now, look at. We're athletes.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. I was thinking the same thing.

[B]

Like, how. When did this happen? That we are literally just.

[A]

Well, I started first and then you copied me. That's how it started.

[B]

We're in a golf shirt now. That kind of. Kind of makes sense.

[A]

Not wearing anything tennis related. But my wrist hurts a little, so I'm carrying.

[B]

Tennis elbow.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Congratulations.

[A]

That's what I would do if we're being real. Like, I would go play tennis all day. I'd call my friends and be like, what classes we doing?

[B]

Jen, you've already played a lot of tennis. Like, if you could do it all day long, your body would be in shambles.

[A]

Well, we'd go to lunch in between.

[B]

Okay, so you're just doing this as, like, a social outing more than anything.

[A]

No, I would play tennis and then I would refuel my body with lunch, maybe some Thai noodles, and then I would pick it back up and play more. Until the night is coming. Until the darkness falls.

[B]

What is under your bed?

[A]

Good question.

[B]

This is what is under your bed? The only cliffhanger. And go.

[A]

I'm like, I don't think that's a good cliffhanger.

[B]

You believe that? That is under Jen Todrick's bed.

[A]

Oh, I see what you're doing. You're making teaser moments under the bed.

[B]

How did that even get under there? How long has it been under there?

[A]

Long time.

[B]

Whoa. Okay.

[A]

I know. I'm so embarrassed.

[B]

Gross.

[A]

Okay, so now we'll get back into the actual question. So under our bed is absolutely nothing except two empty, like, under the bed containers. But I haven't filled them with anything. That's it.

[B]

Why don't we use it?

[A]

That's the answer.

[B]

Why don't we have anything under there?

[A]

Probably because I know if I, like, put sweaters or something under there, I'll forget they're there.

[B]

I think there's a person that lives under our bed.

[A]

Okay, quit it. That's weird.

[B]

It's dead. I think we have a ghost under our bed.

[A]

We just made it even weirder. Would you stop?

[B]

I think that our. Like, that there could be something under there. Maybe. Maybe it's not a ghost. Maybe it's just that an interdimensional being that happens to have a portal underneath our bed and comes hanging. Would you rather at night and just says, what's up? But here's the thing. It's also very nice. I just wish it did.

[A]

Some choices. I Like this one. I'm ignoring you. Would you rather walk like a chimp always or pretend to bite new people you meet like a bat? That's really creative. Shorky live.

[B]

Wait, what?

[A]

Would you rather walk like a chimp always?

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Or pretend to bite new people you meet like a bat?

[B]

Okay. Like you gotta walk like.

[A]

Is the bat like a vampire?

[B]

Yes. It would be super bizarre because every single person's gonna walk. You're walking around. But at least I'm not biting somebody. You begin jail. Nice to meet you.

[A]

And you can't undo it. That's their first impression. So everyone will think you suck.

[B]

Literally suck blood.

[A]

Yeah, literally unintended.

[B]

I mean neither I think.

[A]

Walk like a champ.

[B]

Yeah. You got to go with a chimp all day long.

[A]

Have to.

[B]

You got to be. You got to be a chimp tastic. Chip nation. By the way, should watch that show.

[A]

What's the. Oh, this is a good one. What's the last time you've left a public review? Was it good or bad? I've never left a review. I'm a review publicly.

[B]

I've only. You. I don't leave bad reviews. I've only. If I do it, I've only done good ones. Ones I've left the one for like doctor's office and good sir. I don't know. I've only left a few.

[A]

We feel like. I know Mike's talked about this. We feel like we're fighting against all the negative Nancy's that only leave bad reviews. So we think it's actually takes more time and is better if you're happy with the service to go then report them rather than. It's easier to be mad and then go post about your feelings online. So think about that. Leave good reviews.

[B]

Yeah, it's helpful on, on the, on the, you know, on the. The brewing coffee shop business. They're customer facing and good reviews. Reviews do matter because as strange as it is, a lot of people have never left a review. So you're now leaving. You're relying on everyone else's. But we all still go to Google like oh, how's this restaurant? Or how's this like we all do it. Yeah, we all do it. But then you.

[A]

I don't actually look at reviews before restaurants.

[B]

I'll do. I'll look at it and I look at it as trends. We use it in the businesses for trends. We're going to get one stars. You're gonna get five stars.

[A]

Yeah, but it's always negative people.

[B]

So it's not it's actually not. We have a lot. We. We still. My brewery is at like 4, 7. We have vast majority, over a thousand plus reviews. So it does.

[A]

Well, I'm just talking about in general. Like, I know that the. A lot. Yes. In general. I can even get you a number if you would like. In general, people tend to go leave reviews more negative than positive. No, I'll get the stat for you.

[B]

Okay, that's. I don't believe that because otherwise our business would be a. Once every business would be a one star review or three star. Most businesses still try to go above four stars. Now you take it serious.

[A]

I'm on a mission to prove you wrong. I can't right now.

[B]

People are more likely if they've never left a review and they have a bad service, they're more likely to leave just a negative because they're angry or they're unheard or something bad happened and they want attention to be done. So they're like, well, I'm just gonna go to Google and I'm gonna give them one star because they need to know how bad the service was. When you look at it, they've never reviewed before. Right. It would rather when you have balanced people that go through. If you have a bad review. As a business owner, you should. We always look at it. You take it serious and then you look at trends. Okay. Was it a server or is it something wrong? I would encourage people if you had a good experience. Okay, I'm right.

[A]

This is me saying we're both a little right.

[B]

I'm right.

[A]

But Mike is more right in this.

[B]

I am. I. Yeah.

[A]

It still, it says positive still slightly outweighs with 54%. So not much. But negative reviews still carry outsized weight. Even though fewer people might leave negative reviews. The impact of the negative. Negative reviews is large.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

54% of people say they pay more attention to negative reviews than positive. To the 43%.

[B]

Yeah. It's the negative. So there's. Look. So what happens is you get who is right? I don't know. I'm just kidding. You get, say you have 10 reviews and you get five, five star reviews, right? And then you get one one star review. It brings it down to like a four because a weighted average of it, Drake drags it that far down. So when people have disproportionate frustrations to a business, my recommendation is if you've had. If you've had a decent experience, it's okay. You don't have to leave a five star you can leave a four or three. But if you're angry about something, the best thing to do is actually go talk to the manager or the business owners about it and be like, hey, just so you know, like, do it at the restaurant. Do it at the place. Hey, so you know that this was bad or this. And the restaurant's going to comp you, they're going to talk to you. We always make customers experience. Right. And you're going to make it better because sometimes they don't know. Right. And going on a public forum to say something was bad is. Is. It's frustrating. It gets frustrating. But that's. Everyone's right. That's right. We put your business out in the public nature. You're allowed to say what you want about it. This is not always accurate.

[A]

Okay, you ask one now. All right.

[B]

Anyway, yeah, I can. I can go on about reviews. Leave good reviews. Go talk to the businesses directly about the bad ones. That's what I would do.

[A]

That's good advice.

[B]

I mean, really, what's the weirdest food combination you love? And that's from Julie. Julie Rackey.

[A]

Well, Julie, I found out as a kid just when, like, my breakfast would touch, I actually enjoy syrup on eggs. Yeah, the hot, hot take. They just happened to touch and I was like, oh, that's not so bad.

[B]

Really? Yeah, it's gross.

[A]

It's really not. Oh, I mean, like, think of ketchup on eggs is disgusting to me.

[B]

I mean, I can handle that. It's still savory. A little sweet and savory, but, like, that's just sweet, you know? I don't like cornbread. I don't like sweet stuff. Like, with your savor, you've had some.

[A]

Cornbread and you've liked it before, it's okay.

[B]

But as long as you're not eating it as, like, part of the meal and dipping it in savoring things, you can have it, like, after you're done or is, like, almost like a dessert. Sure. But, like, to have cornbread.

[A]

So is that your weird combo? What's your.

[B]

No, no. Peanut butter and butter. I love peanut butter and butter sandwiches. You had peanut butter, you put butter on it. I still eat those. That's actually my preferred way to eat peanut butter sandwich.

[A]

My preferred peanut butter.

[B]

It is. You add butter to it. So good. My grandma started making it that way. Liverwurst and onions. I haven't made that in a long time, but it's so good.

[A]

Okay. Say fart out loud every time you hear hello. Or fall asleep whenever Someone bored you. Oh, would you rather say fart out loud every time you hear the word hello or fall asleep whenever. I think falling asleep when someone bored me would be hysterical, and I think it would happen pretty often with my adhd. Can you imagine? Like, start talking to me.

[B]

Hey, Jen, how you doing? Let me talk to you about how the universe was.

[A]

Imagine just dropping. That's so rude. But I. I wish, actually, you would fall asleep every time you're bored so I could enjoy it, like, from a comedic.

[B]

You want to see somebody else do it?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, you got to go with the fart, though, because I would be. I'd be mortified. Or actually, you just. You'd be more engaged to be, like, asking questions. So you're not falling asleep on somebody. Yeah. You're gonna force you to be more engaged or, like, you're, like, walk away, maybe. Promise. What if you're doing it like. Yeah. You're at church.

[A]

Yeah. Never, ever.

[B]

And we've all been bored in church before. It's okay.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Us on Christians, but we can say there's been services that have bored us. That. That's normal.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's probably. They spelled favorite with an ou, so they're probably from England. This is from.

[A]

Or Australia.

[B]

Piper Pickle. Pickle Pepper. That. If it had to play forever and you can never skip it or stop it, what would it be like?

[A]

You never get over it.

[B]

No, no, that's you. The song that you think you could listen to forever. Yeah.

[A]

Return of the Mac. What I never gets. Never gets old.

[B]

From Macklemore.

[A]

No, it's a song. Return of the Mac, I thought.

[B]

Isn't a return of the MacLemore album. Return of the Mac is. Is a Macklemore album as well.

[A]

No, it's from the 90s, actually.

[B]

Maybe I read her question wrong. She's just saying, what's your favorite song? All in Time. One that you will never skip. I guess I read that wrong. Oh, so I was completely wrong.

[A]

I have quite a few that I don't think it would never get old, but I don't know what they are at this moment. That's a hard question for me. I'm not good at naming.

[B]

Like, my songs are in the. In, like, the moment. Like, at Christmas season. I'm not gonna skip Charlie Brown. The Christmas album.

[A]

Yeah, you do. You get tired of it.

[B]

No. Christmas. No. The one. No. If it's during Christmas season. Ladi Band. Vince Li. I'm breaking out his name. But anyway, that's the. The jazz musician that's the one song.

[A]

Okay, the one I skipped this question. I don't know. I'm horrible. Sorry.

[B]

I'll skip that as well.

[A]

It's bad. I have one.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

This might take a minute for us to think about it. What's the weirdest thing you secretly do every day?

[B]

It's not a secret if you tell it.

[A]

Yeah, that's true. Bright future.

[B]

I see what you're trying to do. Yeah, they're trying to. They're trying to. You know what they're doing? They're trying to fish for passwords right.

[A]

Now, I think, hey, just out of.

[B]

Curiosity, what street did you grow up in? And you know, it's weird. Let's talk about her mom's maiden names.

[A]

What's your first dog? Or the first car you drove? Strange.

[B]

What's that? First car. You know, what was your high school mascot?

[A]

So I don't know if this is a secret, but I, I like, I converse with myself all the time. You walk in on me talking to myself.

[B]

I have heard you having a convert full on actual out loud conversation.

[A]

Yeah. And I remember as a child looking at my mom like she was crazy because she would do that and I'd be like, my mom's legitimately out loud talking to herself and I do it too. Maybe it's like a woman thing that we just have a lot we're thinking about and then we like. I start saying it out loud. Like made up conversations. Like when I'm thinking about a situation or like how I want to handle something or I have to run it by myself. Me, myself and I. Yeah.

[B]

It's weird when you argue with yourself though.

[A]

I know. It usually goes pretty smoothly though. Like I will say I'm. I think I'm great to argue with.

[B]

Quit answering and just listen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know. Secret.

[A]

Well, the weirdest thing I do now is I get on that vibration plate. So fun. I love it.

[B]

But I've seen it and I don't.

[A]

Yeah, I'm like addicted. I sometimes I've gotten now to twice a day. I love it, so. I love the way I feel afterwards. I don't even know if it's doing anything. But that's totally a trend I've gotten sucked into. Yeah, I like it.

[B]

I mean, you watched some secret trash television, but it's not a secret.

[A]

It's true. It's true. Okay. So do you have any weird things you do?

[B]

I don't know if I do anything weird. Take my supplements in the morning.

[A]

Okay. That's A hot take. I don't know if I do anything weird.

[B]

I don't do anything where you do.

[A]

Pretty much weird stuff.

[B]

Much. A very. I will make weird noises at still to this day sometimes.

[A]

No, that's not it.

[B]

I'm trying to make voices to the kids to try to make them laugh all the time.

[A]

Oh, it's something that you love. That you would be like. Like, I. I definitely relate to the reels that are like, when you get home from being out in public all day and you just have to have 10 seconds of weird, and they just like, do we, like. I'm like, yes, I agree with that. I would do that. So I'm trying to think. Sometimes I'll dance. Sometimes I'll dance, Like, when I'm getting ready.

[B]

Haley's heard me sing randomly. Sometimes I get. I make. I. I'll make songs up for no reason. Again, because I don't know. Lyrics.

[A]

Secret, though. It has to be secret.

[B]

Like, that's a secret that I just told. It's no longer a secret. Like I said, how can it be secrets?

[A]

He's not being fun. If you were a vegetable, which one would you be? And why?

[B]

A vegetable? I want to have one. That one most people like, right?

[A]

So you can get eaten all the time.

[B]

Yeah, because then you have value people. Like, you're bringing joy to people through. Like, you don't want to be, like, an artichoke. Because not a lot of people.

[A]

Like, I love artichokes with butter.

[B]

Yeah, but you wouldn't. Yeah, but then you got a lot of prep.

[A]

Like.

[B]

Like, to me, it's got to be carrot. You gotta be carrot. Pick a carrot.

[A]

Carrot.

[B]

Yeah, I like. Yeah. I mean, I married a ginger. I got some orange in my life.

[A]

That is so rude that you just. I should be the carrot then. If you're identifying me with a carrot, I'm the carrot. Where are you, loser? You broccoli.

[B]

Broccoli's great. I'd be broccoli. Broccoli's functional. Like broccoli vitamins.

[A]

Well, I imagine it having a head and then arms, so I would be able to move around. You'd just be like.

[B]

I mean, let's think about veggie tails. They didn't have arms. They still got things done.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Great show, by the way.

[A]

Great show.

[B]

I didn't even. So the first time I actually watched it. It probably came out when you were a kid. Not me. It was when the kids there were. There was that one streaming app we had that Christian streaming App and it was fun. And this stuff is funny. Yeah, they're like legitimately funny. Yes. Well done.

[A]

Okay, you do one.

[B]

I'm not gonna answer this is. There's some wild ones on here.

[A]

Oh, I have a good one. If you could choose five beverages to dispense from each finger on your hand, what would they be? Water.

[B]

You could. You could like root beer, like at any time.

[A]

Yeah, actually I'll do coffee on my pointer.

[B]

Root beer. What finger?

[A]

Pointer finger.

[B]

Pointer finger. I'm a por finger.

[A]

Water on my thumb, cuz Boo. But I need it. Water on my thumb, coffee on my pointer finger. Root beer on the middle finger. What else do I like? It's really all I drink for being honest. Maybe. Let me get five sweet tea on my ring finger.

[B]

That one. You'd for sure do that.

[A]

Sweet tea on my ring finger.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then maybe if I'm feeling like I need a little hit of a sweet treat, maybe I would do like chocolate milkshake on my pinky.

[B]

Oh, that's a good one. I wouldn't have thought about a milkshake out of the fingers, but that's enough.

[A]

But I think if I could shoot milkshake out of my. We'd have problems.

[B]

You'd eat a lot.

[A]

Yeah, we'd have issues.

[B]

What are you doing? Shut up.

[A]

Leave me alone.

[B]

700 pound gin.

[A]

He's from sucking on milkshakes. I think that's what I would do.

[B]

Thousand pound sister.

[A]

What about you? What about you?

[B]

So yeah, you gotta water, right? Look at get stuck in the desert utility.

[A]

So you're doing pointer finger water.

[B]

Yeah, I mean you always add water. Okay, that's a good one. Gotta have coffee. That's an essential. Fully loaded. Let's go. Makes sense, right? If I'm gonna do one, I'll probably do some Coke Zero. I do like a Coke Zero here and there. It'd be like a little bit later on the finger, but then we gotta have some beer and whiskey. Beer, whiskey, I'm covered. We're good.

[A]

You're good?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, we're good.

[A]

So you're just sucking on your whiskey?

[B]

No, but like when I'm sucking on my little coke, a little whiskey. I don't drink Coke and whiskey. But it'll be like as long as if I could change the style of it. But then you get sick of it. But then. Because then at least I have water.

[A]

Like a good question.

[B]

You know, I mainly drink like I drink a ton of water during the day. So like. And I will occasionally treat myself with A Coke Zero.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Weekend. I'll drink some beer and if I, you know, grab a whiskey. That's. That's. Yeah, yeah, let's cover the gamut. Why not? Let's do it. I love that question.

[A]

That was a good question.

[B]

I want. I want finger, beverage, hands.

[A]

I would love that.

[B]

Imagine that, an armor hand. All the five taps of armored beer on your hands. Somebody's gonna be happy with that one. That'd be awesome.

[A]

Be problematic.

[B]

What's the strangest question you've ever received in your dms? Like a serious question.

[A]

I don't know if I have a question, but the request, the. The. The sentence that gets quoted daily now, even for my kids, because I accidentally said it, I guess. When they were in earshot. I told Mike that a man left a DM that was. Said your eyes. Your hair like fire and eyes like ocean. No, no, thee. Hair like fire. Just started. Hair like fire, comma, eyes like ocean. And now Vaughn says, did you? All the time.

[B]

And I wrote those were. I wrote you an entire poem with that.

[A]

Like we've integrated it.

[B]

I wrote you a poem that's like a fur anniversary. I put that in there. Eyes like fire. No, hair like fire. I like ocean.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. It was so funny. So if you are listening and you're the man who sent that to me, thank you.

[B]

Because now I've integrated into. Into our thing. I mean, there's weird inappropriate people, that dumb stuff in dms. That stuff comes up. That's just part of it.

[A]

Yeah. Question.

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I mean, no. I mean, look, I've. I've had. I've had people ask me if I could fly you to their house to redo their home, like, random place in a different state, like, with the address and everything. And I'm like. It's a lot of filtering that has to go through that. But it's okay. I mean, there's. People legitimately want help.

[A]

That's really shooting the shot.

[B]

Let's go show it up. Weird is that as I went by myself, they didn't let me in.

[A]

Weird thing is, I win. I have another one.

[B]

It was nice to meet Deborah and thank you for dinner.

[A]

If you had to rename each other, which name matches the other person's vibe, who do you think? What would you. What would my name be?

[B]

Well, you're. You're. You're Ginger.

[A]

Come on, leave that out of it. That's not my vibe. My vibe is like my personality.

[B]

Ginger Spice.

[A]

You'd name me Ginger Spice? That's the Name. You're the worst at this.

[B]

I mean, Ginger from Gilligan's Island. She was a pretty redhead.

[A]

You're so creative. Thank you. And that's what you came up with? Well, I mean, thank you.

[B]

I appreciate that.

[A]

I think I would. I'm trying to think of, like, I.

[B]

Would name you Ginger. Thank you. I win. This podcast is over. Ginger.

[A]

You're so dumb.

[B]

You're so dumb.

[A]

I'm trying to think who you would be. Not Mike.

[B]

Maybe Michael. You were, like, staring.

[A]

Are you a Josh? I am. I'm trying to figure out. I've never thought of this question.

[B]

Now I want.

[A]

Are you a Josh?

[B]

No.

[A]

You're not a Josh.

[B]

My nephew's Josh.

[A]

You're not a Brad. You're not a Steven.

[B]

Steve. Best friend in high school Steve. You're.

[A]

What do you think, Haley? Give me a name. What do you think Mike would be?

[B]

I would.

[A]

Josh. I would maybe like a James. I could see James for sure. Okay. You could see James. I could see Philippe. Just kidding. Arnold.

[B]

All those make sense.

[A]

I don't see Arnold.

[B]

Yeah. I'd name you Deb.

[A]

Are you mad at me? Why are you acting like this?

[B]

I love those names. Look, we named our daughter Vivian, and I think it's one of the most beautiful old school names in the entire world.

[A]

So what would you name me that's old school?

[B]

Ginger.

[A]

All right, we're done. Over it. You're the worst.

[B]

I love. You're Jen. I don't know what else the vision you with. It's fun. I mean, like, it's funny how as an. As a parent, you think about, like, all the names and what are going to be, and it's like, whatever name. It's even like, name. Whatever the name it is. Like, you can't. I can't think of naming our child. Our child, our children, any other names that they have, because I'm like, that's who they are.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

And that's who you are, and that's who I am. And wait, you had a name, didn't you? Change. Want to change your name as a kid?

[A]

I think I should have been named Dylan.

[B]

It was Dylan. That's what it was. I remember you telling your mom that that's the name you wanted.

[A]

Dylan. Or, like, Tyler. Anything that's, like, more masculine. I think it should have been named, though.

[B]

Fred.

[A]

That Stanley.

[B]

It's my. My grandpa Richard. He was Stan. Stan is love was actually his name.

[A]

My name's Richard.

[B]

All right, Jen, we are running close to time. You want to do One more.

[A]

Seriously. Okay, one more. Do you poop if each other's still in the bathroom?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We don't do with the door open anyway.

[A]

Keep the door closed. And I do get mad at him. If I can hear it. I'm like, turn the vent on. And then he turns.

[B]

It's fun to share. Just like the farts question before you gotta share the love.

[A]

Nope, not that.

[B]

I've never shared a picture of my poop with you.

[A]

I don't think I have either.

[B]

Yeah, I think that's crossing the line. And who would ever do that?

[A]

I've sent one to my mom.

[B]

Gross.

[A]

Mom. It looked weird. It looked weird.

[B]

You.

[A]

It looks weird. It looked weird. My mom's a nurse.

[B]

You legitimately have. Have thrown poop pictures onto the world wide web at this point. It's out in. It's out in the ethos.

[A]

I do regret that for that reason. No one would know it's my poop. It's just there.

[B]

It's gross. Yeah, I've never. I. I. Yeah. I don't know if I like pictures of poop.

[A]

I think my mom has just been tossed into a wild ride with me for sure. For lots of reasons.

[B]

She's a nurse. So you do it for, like, clin reasons.

[A]

I'm like. I'm like, it was a crazy color.

[B]

Too much iron. Sometimes it turns green.

[A]

Okay, no, I deleted. Okay. So this story Haley is reminding me, and it. I know what you were talking about.

[B]

So that's why I was looking at Haley.

[A]

I get a text from Haley that's like, I just left Whole Foods and I saw the longest hoop log in the toilet that was not flushed. And I genuinely am concerned and feel awful for whoever left it. And I was like, no. She goes, I almost sent you a picture. I go, you go back in there and you get that picture. I want to see it. She goes, okay. So she goes in there, takes a picture, and I'm not kidding, y'. All. It looks like this part of my arm. It's like up on the side from the bottom. Like, it's the long.

[B]

Like, a single fully attached poop.

[A]

We both said, like, how did she get up and walk out? Like. And so I deleted the picture instantly. But I wanted to see it.

[B]

Like. Like it was so big, they probably had to stand up off the toilet because it kept coming like a soft serve ice cream just off serve.

[A]

It was very much contained and there was no mess around it that it, like, all came out in a long.

[B]

Toilet should be like, like.

[A]

And it couldn't even flush. Like, it was so heavy.

[B]

Maybe toilet should be redesigned and be more like the lid of an icy cup. So that way you get a little overflow. It just like goes, you know, talking about. Yes, like the hole at the top probably make like. And then the splashing wouldn't get up.

[A]

She didn't have any mess.

[B]

We have a day we need to try. By the way, it's still sitting in the. In the bathroom. I gotta hook that thing up.

[A]

I'm excited to try that.

[B]

You want to try that bidet?

[A]

Yes, I do. I've been asking.

[B]

I've heard this. I've heard good things about bidets. I heard it's like a massage for your butthole.

[A]

All right, I think it's a good time to leave this conversation right now.

[B]

My. My uncle and aunt had old school, like, built in bidet. There were. They were dentists. And I was like. And they did well, but they. They lived in, you know, a couple hours from us. And I would remember going to their house and seeing this bidet and had no idea. I was like, what is this other sink here?

[A]

Do you remember when I was in Vegas and the bidet sprayed me in the hotel and I've never experienced a bidet. And I screamed at the top of my lungs.

[B]

You were not happy.

[A]

And I had a few drinks in me. I was young. I didn't have kids yet.

[B]

No, that was. That was before kids. You're right.

[A]

I was at the Aria and I was like, for first, I was freaked out. I was like, whoa, this seat is hot. It was like heated.

[B]

It was like. Yeah.

[A]

And I said it just like that because I was, you know, feeling happy. Feeling happy. And then when it sprayed me, I stood up off. I shot off the toilet.

[B]

I do actually remember.

[A]

Hilarious. Now that I. But that's.

[B]

Now we want to get a bidet. We'll come back and we'll review it. We'll read it here. We'll have a whole episode about. And the experience of how to properly use a bidet.

[A]

No.

[B]

On the next episode of you, me and Mike.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Step by step guide to bidet usage.

[A]

Absolutely not. I don't know what we're going to talk about next week, but I think this is a great time to stop this episode. As always, thank you so much for listening to us talk about finger beverages and poop. We really do appreciate it.

[B]

The common denominator.

[A]

Yeah. If you want to leave a review, we would love to have your review.

[B]

All the reviews, the good ones.

[A]

All the reviews we have have been so amazing and we're so grateful. If you want to leave a suggestion, a topic, any kind of concern, a voicemail you can send those to, all spelled out you, me and Mike podcast gmail.com Again, all spelled out words you, me and Mike podcastmail.com Y' all have an awesome day.

[B]

We love you, we appreciate you.

[A]

And yes, thank you so much for listening and we will catch you on the next one. Bye, guys.