Ep. 218: Red Flags and Unpopular Opinions

Summary

You, Me & Mike – Ep. 218: Red Flags and Unpopular Opinions (April 1, 2026)

Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Jenn and Mike Todryk—aka the Rambling Redhead and her husband—dive into the fine lines between red flags and unpopular opinions in relationships. The married duo banter about everything from sharing passwords and bank accounts to bed-making habits, game nights, and “date night” pressure. Throughout, they swap stories from their marriage and tackle listener-favorite debates (like leaving a party early). The tone is informal and playful, with plenty of self-deprecating humor, tangents, and candid admissions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Mondays, Tuesdays, and Weekly Routines

[00:58-03:14]

• Jenn and Mike kick off with a lighthearted debate about why Tuesdays are the least exciting day of the week.
• Jenn reflects on why she’s never disliked Mondays, attributing it to her retail background.
• Mike jokes it might be a “red flag” to actually like Mondays, to which Jenn argues it’s more “green flag” energy.

2. Defining Red Flags and Unpopular Opinions

[04:50-05:15]

• The couple distinguishes between “red flags” and “unpopular opinions,” ultimately framing much of their conversation as “cool or not cool” debates.

3. Married Life: Independence vs. Togetherness

• Unpopular Opinion: Married couples don’t need to do everything together.
  • Both agree (05:15), suggesting it’s healthiest to maintain independent activities, as long as there’s not a deeper avoidance at play.
  • Jenn: “If you’re super happy when your spouse isn’t around, it’s probably not the best thing.” (05:54)
• Mike shares that joining his indoor golf league has helped him enjoy Tuesdays (06:31).

4. Money Matters: Joint vs. Separate Accounts

[06:43-10:02]

• The Todryks agree it’s relationship-dependent; transparency and trust are most important.
• “If you’re having separate bank accounts to hide things, it’s probably not the right thing.” —Mike (07:16)
• Discussion of prenups: Early in life, Jenn thought prenups were negative, but parenting has shifted her perspective (“If something happens to you, I will 100 [percent] have the person sign a prenup.” [10:31]).

5. Sharing Passwords & Phones: Trust or Red Flag?

[08:58-12:38; 21:45-26:55]

• Both agree strongly that couples should share their digital passwords as a matter of mutual trust and accountability.
• Mike: “I don’t care. I have...a hard, hard line on [this]...Share your passwords with your spouse. Seriously.” (21:45)
• They acknowledge that not all people will agree, but for their marriage, hiding passwords would be a hard “foul.”

6. Parenting & Privacy

[24:51-27:14]

• Parents should have access to their kids’ passwords—for safety, not constant surveillance. Jenn: “You get privacy at a certain age. I, there’s an age appropriate...” (24:57)
• The couple admits to rarely checking each other's phones—trust is high, access is simply available if needed.

7. Date Nights: Necessary or Overhyped?

[27:19-28:42]

• Weekly date nights are not a “must” in every season of a relationship.
  • Jenn: “Hard no...If you need to get out...to connect, do it. But not everyone has to.” (27:28)
  • Mike: “The stress that would cause us just to plan that every week—hard pass.” (28:24)

8. Cozy Debates: Blankets, Bed-Making, and Sheet Folding

[19:41–32:23]

• Sharing blankets is “overrated” if it hurts one’s sleep; now, both have their own cooling blankets.
• Bed-making: Mike agrees making the bed teaches routine (from his military days), but neither actually makes it daily (“That job hasn’t been done...like years.” —Jenn [32:15]).
• Folding fitted sheets is considered a waste of effort—they just roll it up.

9. Housework & Paper Plates

[33:09–36:41]

• The Todryks embrace paper plates for busy families (especially with three kids and lots of cooking/cleanup).
• Mike is the main kitchen cleaner and strongly supports anything that reduces dirty dishes.

10. Social Etiquette: Leaving Parties Early

[37:01–38:53]

• They agree it’s perfectly acceptable to leave a party early, though Mike admits he tends to do the “Midwestern goodbye” (takes 30+ minutes).

11. The Term “Red Flag”: Serious or Sarcastic?

[39:20–40:54]

• Jenn explains that people now use “my red flags” jokingly for mildly annoying habits (e.g., losing coffee cups).
• Mike’s skeptical: “It’s not the proper use of language!” (40:51)

12. Lightning Round: Red Flag or Not?

A series of quick-fire “is this a red flag?” questions with playful disagreement.

• Golf as networking: Only if it’s intentional; otherwise, it’s a hobby (41:00–41:57).
• Watching ahead on a shared show? Red flag. “You know how I feel about this. I think it’s mean.” —Jenn (42:25)
• Leaving one sip in the fridge: Annoying, especially with kids (44:17–44:48).
• Sharing food: Jenn is protective, wants first bites. Mike dramatizes: “They stab you with the fork and then they shame you...” (45:58)
• Hiding snacks: “I 100% hide snacks...there’s some hidden now that you don’t [know about].” —Jenn (47:21)
• Secret fast-food runs: Not a big deal unless spouse comes home unexpectedly without a treat (49:16–49:38).
• Ordering food for spouse: Not controlling—actually appreciated if it helps avoid decision fatigue (50:11).
• Sharing locations: Red flag only if there’s secrecy or a sudden change without explanation (52:26–56:13).
• Is Costco/Target a real date? Maybe, if both people enjoy it. (“We should do that...it’d be very fun.” —Jenn [57:38])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Mondays & Tuesdays Banter

“It’s an emotional roller coaster if you think about it...Can you make a song for this and sing it on the next podcast? I like the banter and enthusiasm.”
—Mike (03:22)

On Money, Trust, & Prenups

“If you’re having separate bank accounts to hide things, it’s probably not the right thing.”
—Mike (07:16)

“I definitely thought [prenups] were a bad, like a negative. I thought it then you shouldn’t marry that person if you don’t trust them. ... If something happens to you, I will 100% have the person sign a prenup.”
—Jenn (10:06–10:31)

Digital Transparency

“I have...a hard, hard line on [this]...Share your passwords with your spouse. Seriously?”
—Mike (21:45)

On Food Boundaries

“I am a little possessive when it comes to food. Now that you say it, I hide my own snacks in my food too.”
—Jenn (45:58–46:24)

Family Life, Humor, and Rules

“I want my friends to be like, Mike, she’s very nice. I like her. But they are not following that with ‘she’s funny.’...But she’s very supportive for the children.”
—Jenn, on what traits Mike’s next partner could have if she died (19:01–19:23)

Digital Location Sharing

“I feel better when yours is on because I know where you are, and...I want to know. And be a protective aspect.”
—Mike (56:15–56:29)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:58 – Mondays vs. Tuesdays: Why Jenn dislikes Tuesdays more
• 05:15 – Do couples need to do everything together?
• 06:43 – Joint vs. separate bank accounts
• 08:58–12:38 – Passwords, trust, and digital privacy
• 21:45–26:55 – Sharing devices and passwords (and kids’ digital privacy)
• 27:19–28:42 – The weekly date night: Useful or unnecessary?
• 32:23–36:41 – Bedmaking, fitted sheets, paper plates, and chores
• 37:01–38:53 – Is it okay to leave parties early?
• 39:20–41:00 – Red flag/foul: The language and joke of it all
• 41:00–50:01 – Red flag rapid fire: Golf, TV, fridge etiquette, sharing food, hidden snacks, fast food runs
• 52:26–56:13 – Sharing locations: Safety, routine, and possible paranoia

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Conclusion

This episode is classic Jenn and Mike—funny, self-aware, and full of tangents, but always circling back to the realities of marriage, trust, and making your own rules. Their lighthearted debates tackle real-life flashpoints (“unpopular” opinions that many couples can relate to), while gently poking fun at each other and themselves. If you’ve ever wondered if it’s OK to hide snacks, hate weekly date nights, or need three types of blankets on your bed...you’ll feel right at home.

Next episode: They tease a “Part Two” to continue the fair/foul and red flag debates, promising even more listener questions.

Transcript

[A]

Hello, everyone.

[B]

Hi.

[A]

Episode. We kind of both went in on this episode. And we're kind of going to do a joint themed topic.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Of unpopular opinions within relationships. And also we're going to talk about some red flags. What we think.

[B]

I mean, they kind of go back

[A]

and what do we think are red flags?

[B]

Like, is it a red flag? Is it not? I was calling it foul or fair. He didn't like that name.

[A]

I did not like that. Foul or fair. Yeah.

[B]

Is it a foul ball or is it a fair ball? Her daughter plays softball right now.

[A]

We don't.

[B]

Yeah, but it's a. It's a term.

[A]

We're just. Red flag.

[B]

By the way, I apologize for my congestion. Mike is. Is hit hard with allergies today, so. Yes, it's my deep, raspy voice. Well, definitely soothe you all.

[A]

Okay. And then he's gonna call. Fun. A cough unexpectedly and blow.

[B]

Our ears will be cut out.

[A]

Anyways, we are filming on a Tuesday. And Tuesday, if you've been following me

[B]

for a second, you know, third day of the week.

[A]

Tuesday is the worst day of the week.

[B]

Why is it two? I was this always confused when I was a kid. Why was it called Tuesday when it's actually the third day of the week?

[A]

You know what's funny is I always thought Monday as a kid was the starting of the.

[B]

Everyone did. I think every kid. Because you had the weekend, and then Monday is like, start the school. Yeah, but it's the weekend, so it kind of makes sense because it wouldn't be the week.

[A]

I want to go back in time and see if I hated Mondays as a kid, because I've always liked Mondays as an adult. I think it's just like, fresh start of the week. It's like, yeah, I could, like, especially when I was working, you know, more of a corporate job. Like, you could definitely be like, you know what it is? It's because I worked retail.

[B]

Can I. Can I bring this back to the whole.

[A]

No, hold on. You're interrupting me. And we're trying to be better about interrupting and finishing a thought, but you know what it is? I've never worked a corporate Monday through Friday job. I worked retail, so I worked weekends. So maybe that's why I never saw. This is just hitting me. Maybe that's why I've never associated Monday with being, like, a horrible start to a week.

[B]

But you went to school from K through college.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. I can't remember, like, seeing, okay, college. It's like, yeah, wasn't a Big deal. But I wonder if I felt that way as, like, an elementary school student and I just don't remember. But what that makes sense about the job.

[B]

I kind of think that's a red flag. If you like Mondays, it's kind of red flag.

[A]

Wouldn't it be a green flag? Because it's, like, kind of positive.

[B]

No, I didn't hate. I was. I mean, as a kid, I remember Sundays being the day that I was, like, I liked but hated at the same time. Because you knew it was like, it's over. It's like the last day of vacation.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where it's kind of good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or it's the day you're flying out from vacation. You're like, I'm still technically on vacation, but it's always, like, not that much fun because it's all the.

[A]

I'm with you.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

I dislike Sundays more than I like Monday. Or wait, I like Mondays more than Sundays. No, I like Sundays better because on Sundays, you're right. You're thinking of, like, what you have to do the rest of the week. I wouldn't call it. I think it's Sunday scary. This is like, what it's called.

[B]

No, you need to live in the moment, Jen.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Stop worrying about.

[A]

I didn't say I do.

[B]

But, you know, it's Tuesday.

[A]

It's so.

[B]

I hope you guys enjoyed this podcast about Monday and Tuesdays.

[A]

Well, what I was going to say is if you followed me for a while. They know I don't. I talk a lot of crap about Tuesdays. Tuesdays just aren't very exciting. It's like, I love Mondays, Tuesdays, like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What happens on Tuesday? Wednesday. Ooh, hump day. We're halfway through Thursday. Friday Eve. Friday. It's Friday. And then the weekend.

[B]

Can you make a song for this and sing it on the next podcast? I like. I like the banter and enthusiasm.

[A]

It's an emotional roller coaster if you

[B]

think about it, because I just spelled incorrectly as well.

[A]

So two should be two. O, O Tuesday.

[B]

Oh, that would be like more. There's more than one day. That'd be the two. The. Also two would be the second day. Okay, but Y, T U E T

[A]

U S day to you.

[B]

I know the reason, but I'm not going to tell you.

[A]

No, wait, that wouldn't be right. It'd be Tuesday to you.

[B]

Tuesday and Wednesday.

[A]

I say that every time I spell it.

[B]

Witness. Yeah.

[A]

Do you?

[B]

Yes. The fact that actually you can spell that word is pretty surprising.

[A]

Me.

[B]

Me.

[A]

Oh, I Was gonna say I'm a great speller. You're the one that's really.

[B]

And I over here are the ones that rely on the good old autocorrect

[A]

or what is it called? Phonics. Just spelling it out.

[B]

I. I think. I mean, I even mentioned this. I 100 learned how to spell incorrectly. It's all rote memorization.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I never learned to spell phonetically. So I can. It's. It's the read. That's why I read slow. Yeah, you read 100 times fashion. But I remember everything I read, so I remember. But. But it just has to do high vocabulary. But awful spelling.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Awful smelling.

[A]

And my vocabulary is only somewhat high because of you. I don't. I'm not one of those people that's like, constantly trying to like, oh, I'm gonna learn a new word and use it like, no, I've never cared about sounding.

[B]

It's thrilling.

[A]

Intelligent. I guess.

[B]

Anyway, let's go back to this.

[A]

Okay, so let's. What do you want to do first? Red flags or. Let's do unpopular. Just ask some questions. I have some scenarios.

[B]

Fair, Foul, Red flag or unpopular? Cool or not cool? Honey, I like cool or not cool.

[A]

No, fetch is never going to happen.

[B]

Fetch. I didn't say fetch. Was that. Is that a movie thing?

[A]

It's a mean girls. So stop saying fair because it's not going to happen. All right, Red flag.

[B]

That's a fair thing to say.

[A]

First, we're going to go unpopular opinions. And I have a couple, and I want you to tell me what you think of these.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

Okay. Married couples don't need to do everything together. True or false?

[B]

True. I think that if you're.

[A]

Why do you. Why do you think that?

[B]

Why wouldn't I. Just kidding. I think it's very healthy and normal to people to have still independent relationships and things like that. If you were to be like, on tennis and be like, mike, I need you to come play tennis with me. You got to be on my team with me. I think it takes away from bonding and need for other activities. Now it's a different thing if you're, like, purposely trying to find reasons not to be with your husband or wife. That's a different level of. Seek some counseling. Talk to somebody about that. Because if you're super happy when your spouse isn't around, it's probably not the best thing.

[A]

Yeah, it's probably not.

[B]

Right. It's probably not the long term. Like, this is going to work out for y'. All. So in the Short term, but like having, you know, like you had talked about sometimes if I would, I would travel something like, hey, because you could do your thing, watch the show, catch up. And it's not like you were like, yay, I'm gone. It's like, yay, for the moment because you got to do all the stuff that you want to do without feeling guilty or obligated for the other person. But like, you know, you and I both have. Have activities now. We, you know, going back to the New Year's resolution. I was like, I want to do some gore golfing. So I joined an indoor gol league. Sounds lame. Pretty awesome. I do love it, dude, on Tuesday nights, which makes me like Tuesdays.

[A]

See, maybe that's why I don't like Tuesdays too. I have the kids all night by myself.

[B]

But it's. But you have tennis and I do. Like, I, I think it's healthy to do that.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

But yeah, I mean, yeah. Well, let me ask you one related to that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Unpopular opinion. Should you have separate bank accounts when you're married?

[A]

Oh, hold on. I'm gonna suck it back in my face.

[B]

Hold on.

[A]

I'm gonna slide it back in my face. I'm going to preface this with I don't want that for me right. In my relationship. But that's something we've never struggled with. And so I feel like my perspective isn't fair, so I'll suck it back. I. I don't, I don't want that life. But I've also never been with someone to where it constantly is putting a rift in our relationship to. Whereas maybe if we did have a plan that worked for us, it would make things happier. So that's my.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, real talk on that one. I think it does. It is relationship dependent. If you're having separate bank accounts to hide things, it's probably not the right thing or you have a trust issue with other person that's probably in. But there are situations where some people have compulsive behavior and they really, truly can't handle a bank account or things like that, and then setting guardrails in place probably are needed. Right.

[A]

I wanted to say that. So if you're having to create two bank accounts because someone is spending in a way that you don't approve of, and so you think this is going to be like a band aid. I feel like that doesn't work well because then now you have this thing in place in between you that's kind of of like inhibiting trust. Or like you're not able to trust them and you're constantly wondering what's going down over there. A little bit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But if you're doing it like you say, a man or a woman is agreeing and saying, I need you to take the password of the bank or let me not have access or I just have my own little fun money pot. And once that's gone, it's gone. And it holds that person or that couple accountable to. Whereas this is our fun money. We're not going to. That's different. And I think that's a positive, if that makes sense.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It has to be an agreeance and, like, good on both.

[B]

We always started with it from day one that it was like, ours is ours. It's just the way the mindset is. Another one of us had an issue with overspending or not communicating. We still, to this day, we'll be like, hey, I'm thinking about buying this. And even if it's, you know, we don't necessarily, I guess, have to, but we do because usually say over.

[A]

It's always if it's like over a hundred bucks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, Mike will be like, hey, I

[B]

think it's crept up a little bit because you buy. We bought some Nike stuff without asking each other.

[A]

Nike shoes. That is true. We bought some Nike. So yeah, it's probably gone up to 200 bucks.

[B]

Maybe because it's like, hey, I'm. Yeah, but. But we still, like, just give the other person a Heads up.

[A]

TVs.

[B]

Yeah, but we share every password we have. Really. There's the standpoint of. Of. And this, I guess, even goes to the phone thing as well. Like, you know my passwords. I know yours.

[A]

Hey, Pause. I'm interrupting because this is one.

[B]

Okay. What? I want to kind of close my thought on the thing. Yes, I do agree with you. It's relationship dependent. It's about why you're doing it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And also. And I know this is Ms. Might be an unpopular opinion as well. But, like, say somebody is hyper wealthy in either relationship. I don't think it's an unreasonable thing to set up a prenup.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

For proof that the person's not there. Especially if somebody's hyper wealthy.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And you're like, I just want to make sure you're in it for me. Because if I was in that perspective and somebody else came in, I'd be like, look, it'd be weird because it would be in the back of your mind that that person's only there. Maybe because you're ultra well. So I get like prenups and things like that. That could happen for certain reasons. Now if you're, you know, average middle class person, you're prenuping maybe, maybe not the best way to start a relationship. Or are you both of equivalent. But again, each person is going to manage your relationship differently. It's just a matter about comes down to trust. Right. It's all trust.

[A]

I was gonna out myself, but I don't know if I want to.

[B]

What?

[A]

I guess I have to now. I was one when I was younger. And you heard you're a prenup. I definitely thought that was a bad, like a negative. I thought it then you shouldn't marry that person if you don't trust them. I definitely had strong opinions and I think that was even like goes back to being like faith based.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And like.

[B]

No, I agree with that.

[A]

Yeah. But if something happens to you, I will 100 have the person sign a prenup.

[B]

Now.

[A]

Like it's changed because now I have kids involved and. Well, I, I don't know. I think I would.

[B]

I think in every circumstances again I

[A]

think of my kids like that's theirs. Like. And now my. I'm just saying, like my perspective has changed on that a lot and I don't think anything of it faith based. I think of like my three kids and you just don't know what people can do.

[B]

Yeah. Because I guess you flip it on the other side and saying like, look, if you loved me, you would sign this as well. It shouldn't be about the money because you can flip that, you can flip it on a perspective. Right.

[A]

It's hard because then I look at myself and I'm like, okay, if I'm on the other side and the person's like, you need to get prenup, I would be hurt. See, I'm torn.

[B]

You don't know what to do.

[A]

I have no idea. I hope it never comes to this.

[B]

But it comes down to the reality is it should never be about.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Money or circumstances. It's almost like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The thing is with, you know, marriage is. It's a contract. It's a civil contract with, you know, we layer it with the Christian faith based aspect associated to the covenant of things, which is different. But it's still. If it's the contract, like there's nothing in the Bible that talks about divorce.

[A]

And, and that's going to be a headline somewhere. Someone's going to write that I'm do a prenup.

[B]

You sure this is, this is well,

[A]

and you know it. Give it a day. Well, I'll get it sent by my mom from a Facebook group anyway. That's fine.

[B]

Good.

[A]

I write it.

[B]

You know what you want to know that you know, think something did happen. I hope you would too.

[A]

Yeah, thank you.

[B]

I do. I would hope you have that.

[A]

Babe usually get so sad and mad when I talk about you dying.

[B]

Well, I don't want to die anytime soon.

[A]

I saw. I saw a real. Like, I saw a real. Did I send it to you where the wife is like or. No, the woman's talking about like scenarios of like their husband. Like, I want to talk about when you drop dead and I have to. And the husband's like, I absolutely do not want to have this conversation with you. And I'm like, maybe it's a female versus male. Well, it's thing.

[B]

I don't know. Yeah, I mean, look, I. We've prepared things. I got good life life insurance. We have things set up, a case needed. We have a will. We have a trust. All the things needed if something were to happen already set up. So like my form of planning it. But I don't need to like talk scenarios.

[A]

We do because I want to talk about what type of woman we're bringing into our family. I get a say in this.

[B]

I'm not.

[A]

I get a say in this right now. So we need to talk about if she's younger than me. Mike, I swear, I'll haunt you. It's inappropriate if it's younger than me. It goes now. It's creepy. So it's not creepy. Mike, she may. She has to be older. She has to be your age. It's non negotiable. All right? Non negotiable.

[B]

I will.

[A]

Fine. Then I'm never dying.

[B]

I told you this. I told you this. I really, really mean this. Like, I don't have in my mind if something happened with you. I really don't have any. Like, I need to get jump in a relationship. I would think this is.

[A]

You will get remarried.

[B]

I don't think so, honey.

[A]

You're too sweet. I don't have to have someone to touch you.

[B]

I have too much.

[A]

Who's gonna touch you?

[B]

Too much time for the kids.

[A]

No, you are way too physical touch.

[B]

I will be. I would be so annoying to Berkeley and Vivian. Like, hey, you want me to come over? You want me to hang out today?

[A]

Every day.

[B]

Yeah. So anyone gonna give me a compliment?

[A]

Yeah, exactly. You need words of affirmation and you need physical tech. You can you have this has never been said, but I'm saying it now. Mike, I would want you to find someone.

[B]

Yeah, no, I don't want to. I don't even like talking or thinking about that. No, I'm gonna avoid it. I'm gonna wait this conversation.

[A]

You're just gonna be sad.

[B]

Yes, I will. I will. I'll work through it. As.

[A]

I mean, I would want you to be sad for a little bit. Just a little bit. Just be sad a little bit. And then I want you to not. Because if you're kidding, what's the show

[B]

we used to always watch?

[A]

Which one, honey?

[B]

This is us. Remember when she got remarried?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they always go back about how Jack's the best dude, and then suddenly, now she's married to his best friend. I'm like, bro, that's weird. Like, in my mind, I'm still thinking, like, Jax in heaven, being like, dude, dude, can't find another woman.

[A]

You don't.

[B]

It's my wife.

[A]

You don't think that, like, let's fake scenario. You don't think that, like, maybe there's a comfort and, like, they were all really close and, like, she's taken care of by someone you know is good or dead.

[B]

Jack's thinking, how long did you want this to happen? You just waiting for your opportunity, man.

[A]

Fair. That's fair. I mean, it's definitely, like, different. For sure. I'm not being like, that's normal, but, like, I don't know. But anyway, you can be sad.

[B]

It's weird that Jen. Jen did a little research on what people think about the podcast, and then in one of the comments was. Is that people haven't said. We have a tendency to go off topic. And at least we're staying true to the theme of this podcast.

[A]

To the haters, for sure. No, but it's. I like. I like. It's. Oh, y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

When I was pregnant, the doomsday talk was, like, all I could think about. I would corner Mike at night and be like, if I die. And, like, we would go through, and Mike would just tell me he didn't want to talk about it. And then I would be so mad.

[B]

It's not that.

[A]

Like, genuinely mad. And I'd be like, I don't understand why we can't talk about this. Why are you being such a baby? Like, I literally would, like, verbally come at this man, and be like, I could drop dead now from a heart attack. Like, we have to talk about these. I feel so. I, like, stuttered on my words. We have to Talk about this.

[B]

And I'm now doesn't mean if a husband or the other person's not thinking about. It's different if you're not planning. My thing is. Is like, hey, plan it. And eventually, like when I'm dead, it's. You get to choose it. I just don't want to think about you getting with another man.

[A]

Yeah, but I just. Okay. Valid. But also I want to be like, I wish I asked Mike or I knew what Mike would want.

[B]

I want what's best for you and the kids. And you use your right judgment during those times because I know for a fact you would always put first, probably the kids needs at hand and then your needs after that. And so that would keep a comfort factor to me that the decision you would make it be right. And that's all. I mean, that's honestly what it is. But I don't want to, like, there's no man request. I don't want to live in this like. Like thinking through the fact like, so when I dies, Jen's really. I really want her to hook up with this kind of guy. It's gonna be great. It'd be awesome. She would be so much better off.

[A]

Stop. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that.

[B]

I watch it. It comes down to what I. I would want you and the kids to be happy, to be and to still. To still have someone that would, you know, in your life leading a life of. Of purpose and. And someone with a godly mindset. Those are the things that are going to matter the most to me.

[A]

I want you to marry someone better than me in a sense of. I don't want her to ever use a cuss word ever.

[B]

You don't?

[A]

I love the good S and A word.

[B]

Yeah. Who said that? You got called out the other day.

[A]

One of my kids was like, I've never heard her say any of those words, but I've heard her say this word.

[B]

And I was like, the PG S word is PG 13 now.

[A]

No, I still shouldn't. It slipped out during tennis. Unfortunately, there's a kid there.

[B]

I think that word.

[A]

My kid.

[B]

One of my favorite words. It's a very encompassing word.

[A]

It's so universal.

[B]

Now, we generally do not. We don't swear in front of our kids.

[A]

Oh, no. Not forgets. But I'm like, Mike cusses like a sailor. Don't get it twisted.

[B]

Can. I've been known to right before we

[A]

hit record

[B]

say I hadn't. You want to Know what I was mad about?

[A]

No, you weren't mad.

[B]

I'm going to tell them. What? I'm going to tell you guys.

[A]

We're going to stay on tangent.

[B]

No, I'm going to tell them because it's important.

[A]

Tell later. Later. No, down.

[B]

I'm in the moment.

[A]

No, when we switch. Stay on focus.

[B]

Pause. We're coming back to this. Yes, Because I was passionate about this.

[A]

We'll come back to this.

[B]

It doesn't make any sense.

[A]

We'll come back to this.

[B]

We had an argument about something. Doesn't make any sense.

[A]

I wanted to not cuss. I want her to be pretty. Pretty boring.

[B]

Oh, cool.

[A]

She can't be funnier than me. Absolutely. That's a big hell no. Absolutely not.

[B]

So you want me.

[A]

I want my friends to be like Mike, she's very nice. I like her. But they are not following that with she's funny. No, she's not funny. But she's very.

[B]

You want me to meet. You want me to marry Nana?

[A]

No, I want you to marry.

[B]

Not. The nanas are bad because there's hot nanas out there.

[A]

Sweet Ashley, that's just nice and kind but cannot be funny. She just laughs at things. She's very kind. She's very supportive for the children.

[B]

So you basically selfless. Here's what this is telling me.

[A]

Pretty.

[B]

You know for a fact that I wouldn't marry this person if I wasn't laughing with the person. So you have already set these expectations up in place knowing that you can

[A]

think she's funny because everyone else kind of thinks she's boring.

[B]

So I'm the only one that. Yeah, it's fine if you. I just want to make sure everyone else knows she sucks.

[A]

No one. No one else thinks she's funny though.

[B]

Everyone thinks she is awful. But you can love her like I

[A]

want her to be like, she's like so much sweeter than Jen was. But she is so boring compared to what Jen was like. That's what I want.

[B]

That's a fair, not foul.

[A]

Okay, I'm glad we got that.

[B]

Can I say what I was frustrated about?

[A]

No. Because we're not switching there yet. That we're still on unpopular opinions.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Sharing a blanket in bed is overrated. What would you say?

[B]

All right, so that's a weird noise I made. I. I was always a one blanket person until you came along. This is actually recent. The cooling blanket came along like two years ago.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And now Jen is neurotic about having her own blanket for herself because probably because at night, I have a tendency to grab all the blankets anyway, viciously, and, like, out of nowhere, wrap them around my body. Yeah, it's. It's. I don't know.

[A]

I'm doing it like a human burrito.

[B]

Well, I do.

[A]

It's like you wake up for a split second and you're tantruming, and you yank them very aggressively.

[B]

Jen is gone, which is smart. It's. It's a. It's a form of, like, I guess, fixing the problem without fixing it. So. Yeah, I guess it is overrated if you have a. Someone ripping blankets off in the middle. And I'd want my own blanket, too, thank you. I didn't have the. That didn't happen to me. I don't take an offense to it. Right, Right.

[A]

I like my own. So we have a big, like, white down comforter. I've been using it the past week, and I hate it. I'm waking up, like, sweating through my clothes, and I just keep forgetting to pull my cooling blanket up. But we have two cooling. Well, I had a cooling blanket, and then Mike was like, I want to use it too. And I was like, no, get your own.

[B]

I'll order your own blanket.

[A]

Yeah. So I ordered him a second one. So now we each have our own cooling blanket. And then Mike usually will do the down comforter, too. I'm too hot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right now. So as we're getting. It's like 80 degrees here, so.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Two blankets.

[B]

I was more prior, I would have said, you're married. Share your blankets. Like, I'm very much sure you bad. Sure. You're like, I wanted to do that. Use the mindset of being married. Like, you share. You share these things. That's what you should do. You're in bed. This is one bed. Right. Like, why would you have to. But I get it. If you sleep better and then I get to rip blankets off and no one. No one's mad. I get to do me sleeping. And you still have a blanket. And so everyone wins.

[A]

Right. Going back to what you were saying a second ago, couples shouldn't share phone passwords by default.

[B]

No. 100%, you share them. I don't care. I have. Absolutely. That's one I'm a hard, hard line on. And people may disagree with me. I don't care. Fine. You can disagree with me. I'm right. You're wrong. Share your passwords with your spouse. Seriously?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

It's too much risk, too much things that you could hide, even if you don't mean to do it. Never. And if you have a password in something because you don't want the other person to say, do it, delete it, get rid of it, share that crap with that person. They need to be your accountability partner indiscriminately. I have. That is hard. 100%. You're setting yourself up for a lot of problems later.

[A]

So it's a hard foul. That's what you're.

[B]

That's a hard foul.

[A]

I would agree with you. Although it's funny, I don't know all of your passwords off the top of my head, but I know that if I just went to you and asked, you'd give them to me without any hesitation. Or I could just grab your phone and look at your phone and open them and look, and Mike wouldn't think two seconds about why his phone is in my hands. Like, I grab your phone for contacts and stuff all the time. You're never like, why do you have my phone? It's like, we just continue doing what we're doing, and then that's it. I think what you said it best, and I think a lot of people are like. I think the naysayers will be like, well, then that's obviously not a trusting relationship. No, we have a ton of trust. I think it's kind of the opposite, really, where if you have passwords locked in, then that probably instantly, to me, is like, not a trusting relationship. Also, I think we're all human, and no one is above having a weak moment and falling into temptation and making a mistake or even flirting with something that could become a mistake that didn't start that way. And I think that if you know your spouse can see it and there's not passwords, I think it will at least make you be like, this is not a good idea. It'll give you at least that hurdle that you have to jump over mentally and physically to maybe hold you accountable.

[B]

Totally agree.

[A]

Which, again, if you're already having those thoughts and it can happen to anyone, even in good relationships, but I think if you're in a good relationship, then you stop that really quickly or you recognize it quicker.

[B]

And I know it's like. And there may be people in the circumstance, like, I'd be fine and the other person's not, because they said they don't trust me in that case, I still. I still see that as problematic.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because there's something in there that was. Either the person's been hurt from something in the past. There's guarding may not be doing something nefarious.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But there, but there could be something from their past that's. There's a hindrance because there is like a broken trust to some standpoint. But I don't, I really have a very hard time now. It's a different thing if you're like working finance or you know, like top secret things and you have things you have to have work protected. It's totally different. Yeah, that's a different thing. But if you're like your, if your spouse picks up your phone and you have a bunch of anxiety over that there's something going on.

[A]

Right.

[B]

There's something there that I don't think should be ignored. It doesn't mean something is going on. But if that causes a ton of anxiety for some reason that you need to be open because your spouse, that person should be there should be the most trusted person you have. And it needs to be reciprocal. That needs to be there. And I'd say that even with your kids, you need to know your kids passwords. Your kids don't need to know yours. Kids don't need to know yours, but you need to know theirs.

[A]

100 right.

[B]

And I think that's the. Well, you don't trust me and I know some people like. Well, you know, we don't want to invade their privacy.

[A]

I get that you get privacy to me at a certain age. I, there's an age appropriate but it's definitely not. I 13, 14, 15.

[B]

I still even think if you're under my home, like look, I may not look at it. It just comes down to if and when I'm still going to. I still have the rights to. Because.

[A]

Yeah. Give it.

[B]

Because I'm the authority here. Yeah, I agree that you still have the right to.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

Doesn't mean that you exercise that right. It's the same with there. It's like I'm not, I can't. Honestly, I don't even know. I've. I've never just picked up your phone and scrolled through it.

[A]

I don't think I have with yours either.

[B]

When we were dating. You did?

[A]

No. Never. No, I didn't. No, I never. Because in my mind I never did it to any boyfriend. Hand on the bible. Because I always thought to myself I'm in a relationship, we're happy. There's nothing at this time that is making me doubt this person. And I guarantee you there is something on my 19 year old boyfriend's phone that will make me mad or sad. And so in my mind like still to this day, no, I just back in the day. I think I had a pretty like mature outlook on that. If, like, if I call it what it is, but like college boyfriend. So 21.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm like, no, we're happy, we're together. I don't see any issue. But I'm sure there's a text message from some female in science class that will make me jealous.

[B]

And I think that's, and that's, that's actually also a healthy mindset as well. Because just because you can get access doesn't mean you should get access. Because there are things that be easy to take in out of context. I want to make sure that actually is really part of it. But I would look through that's even, that's even relevant to any. Like, even with your kids and stuff. Sometimes you trust your kids and when you want to dig deep, they're going to piss you off. Probably. You probably have said things their friends.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You don't want them to do. And if you dig into everything, you're going to find something that's going to piss you off. So sometimes it's better not to know everything. But you should know the big stuff and you shouldn't be sure. Protecting them. I know that sounds weird, but like, yeah, but there are parts of it is like they are who they are and if you're going to dig into everything, then they never become independent.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And they can never become their.

[A]

Oh, like when I check Vaughn's iPad message with his bike and the amount of spamming each other they do. And I want to tell Vaughn, stop spamming. But this is so annoying. But that's how they talk. You mean like that? So I don't say anything because I'm already digging through his text.

[B]

That's what I mean.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. So I, I, it's like age appropriate, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But anyway.

[B]

Yeah, that's, that's what I mean by that. But anyway, so that was, that was last one. That's a good one.

[A]

Not every couple needs weekly date nights.

[B]

I probably not.

[A]

I think hard no on that. I think, I think season of life

[B]

you could do it.

[A]

Totally. I think it's a season of life. I also think every relationship is different. If you need to get out and be in a setting that is not of home to connect with your spouse and have deep conversations, that's where you feel more comfortable. Then you need to do it.

[B]

You and I are defined. Okay. I would say if it just depends on how you define date night. I think every couple weekly needs to have moments with each other. That are dedicated to each other.

[A]

I got to eat.

[B]

I guess you could have a movie date night with each other at the house when the kids are.

[A]

That's not weekly date night.

[B]

I call.

[A]

That's hangout.

[B]

What if I called it a date night?

[A]

That's fine, but that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about weekly.

[B]

You mean date night, babysitter go. Then, no, you know, I don't agree. I don't think you need it.

[A]

I don't think you do.

[B]

I think it'd be cool if you could. I don't. But. But doesn't mean that that's a. Because that some. Honestly, there'd be times they think about the stress that would cause us just to plan that every week.

[A]

Hard pass.

[B]

I'd be like, it's better just to hang out at night.

[A]

I'm even thinking about just having to put on real pants one night a week. Sounds horrible, but I do it for you. If you.

[B]

You put on pants for me, I

[A]

would put on real pants. I'm wearing real pants now.

[B]

I mean, I'm gonna keep this thing pg, so I'm just gonna keep it PG. Here.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

All right. Keep it pg. Jen, listen. Yeah, no, I would, but I do think it is very, very important that if you're not spending time together without the kids even, it's at home at night. Like, you and I was gonna just play mahjong, right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Hang out. We find something to do. Watch tv, watch tv, show, hang out, you know, but, you know, we go through.

[A]

Okay, so sidebar. Like, our negative reviews say we don't stick to the plan. I'm going off rogue here. We get in, like. And I love that I've brought this out of you, because my mom is a big game player, so we all played games all the time growing up. My dad was definitely forced into it by my mother. But we all love games. And I feel like you and I go through where we are. We are on one game, and we play it for, like, six months, and then it switches up. Remember, we were really big into hand and foot after visiting my grandma.

[B]

Yeah. And foot.

[A]

Yeah, we were really big into hand and foot. So when the kids would go to bed, we would stay up and play hand and foot in the dining room. That lasted a few months. And that was started because we visited my grandma at her house, and that was really big. They played hand and foot, like in a league.

[B]

Do you know what the hardest thing about hand is? Just the setup of it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's the part that takes forever. That's the part where it's like you get resistance. You're like 16 decks or whatever it is separating it. That's the part where it's like. So that's why I, I know Rummy Cube. Hot take.

[A]

Rummy Cube was a thing like for

[B]

a minute and a lot of people. Not Rummy Cube, Mahjong. Well, Rummy Cube was Rajong's the thing right now. And that, that's like crazy viral. Like every, every quote unquote woman right now is playing mahjong. And I'll say this. I like the game. It's fun. I'm. Call me an old lady with it. I love that. It's so much fun. It is a really. I actually genuinely enjoy the game. So I don't know why it's so popular. Mainly just amongst women.

[A]

But do you like playing as often even though you haven't won in a long time?

[B]

Perspective, Perspective.

[A]

I do not perceive it as me losing.

[B]

I want a nice, like, nice long heater where you're like, I don't even want to play anymore. You just keep kicking my butt.

[A]

A long heater being like three games in a row.

[B]

It was like multiple days, if not even week. No, it was just saying, you know what we need to do? We need to have a tally board and start right now.

[A]

Deal. I'll do that.

[B]

We need a little board and then we can actually keep track.

[A]

Look, look, that way we can brag correctly.

[B]

Do you know what it's going to over time equate to me winning way more.

[A]

50.

[B]

50. Because that's the way the game's going to work. It's based. If you know how to play the game, it's mainly comes down to the last. Last. The last tile. And that then comes down to a little bit of luck. There's strategy involved early on in the game for sure.

[A]

Yeah, but I agree.

[B]

Okay, well, I'm excited to see the tally of me kicking your butt.

[A]

I have one other thing.

[B]

Can I ask you a question?

[A]

No, no. This is my segment. You get to do the red flags.

[B]

Oh, I didn't know that was a red flag.

[A]

No, that's not a red flag. I'm still an unpopular opinion.

[B]

I said I, I got an unpopular opinion. How to use the word red flag?

[A]

Okay, we'll be at there in a minute. I've got a couple more 1. Making the bed is pointless.

[B]

I disagree.

[A]

I agree. I think it's pointless. We're just gonna get in it.

[B]

I disagree with It. I think it. So there's two perspectives. Are we a daily bed maker? No, we're not.

[A]

That's. What say you. I've never seen you make a bed ever.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Unless you're complaining with me and helping me do it.

[B]

No, I probably. And this is honestly now I'm calling myself on this. And I do think it teaches routine and discipline and particularly in the military, that was things. You had to make the bed every single day. Very routine, very specific.

[A]

So why don't you do it then?

[B]

Because it's your job.

[A]

Well, that job hasn't been done in a very long time. Like years.

[B]

Hot take. That was joke.

[A]

Please don't cancel.

[B]

Red flag.

[A]

It's only funny because I think I make a bed once a year.

[B]

Yeah, we'll make our bed.

[A]

No, never. Who are you talking to?

[B]

It's not me with a beat with the shoe when we change the sheets. So once a week made.

[A]

Folding a fitted sheet isn't worth the effort. I agree. Just roll it up.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that sucks.

[A]

Shove it in there.

[B]

I don't. Truth is, I don't know if I've ever figured it out. There's apparently like a technique how to do it.

[A]

There is.

[B]

I don't know if I've ever figured it out. And I used to spend. I'm like, how does this work? And then it's like, I don't believe

[A]

for one second of my whole being that you put any effort into figuring out how to fold a fitted sheet. I had a life behind you. I don't believe that.

[B]

Life before what?

[A]

Do not.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

You did.

[B]

So. So maybe you did. Yeah.

[A]

I'm not seeing it.

[B]

No, I look. Not making the bed. Going back to that. That's a little lazy. We could make it. Does it look nicer? Does it take 30 seconds? Yes.

[A]

Doesn't take 30 seconds. Takes a lot of minutes to make it look nice.

[B]

Right. My version of making the bed would be very different than your perfect 8020 pillars on the bed.

[A]

Pillars.

[B]

Which, by the way, I didn't know was a thing like when I grew up. And even in my mind, it's like you have your two pillows and then you got two decorative pillows and that's it. Four pillows per bed. That would be the max. And now I've seen our daughter's room, who has?

[A]

Like, so cute. I know. I make their beds.

[B]

They're gorgeous. Yeah. So make my bed. But making your bed isn't pointless if you look at it as a routine and discipline thing, because it Starts your day.

[A]

Okay, cool. This one you're gonna love. Paper plates are completely acceptable for busy families.

[B]

A million percent, yes.

[A]

Mike's in charge of cleaning up the kitchen at night.

[B]

One million percent, yes.

[A]

So he always asked me as kind as possible. Like, one day we could be like, can we eat on paper tonight? And I hate eating on paper plates. And I'm like, I'm sorry.

[B]

Compostable ones.

[A]

That would know. That would be like, hey, honey, my. I'm cooking. Hey, honey, is it okay if we just drink air tonight?

[B]

Air, yeah. That would be like, can I serve the meal on the. Directly on the countertop? That's an unrelated thing. That's not.

[A]

So what would be my equivalent?

[B]

A paper, I guess, a plastic cup?

[A]

No, doordashing. Can I. Doordash every night? It would be getting food from somewhere else so I don't have to cook it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it'd be me asking for doordash all the time.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Instead of cooking.

[B]

But no, it's not the same.

[A]

Not the same?

[B]

No.

[A]

So then what would it be?

[B]

We do. Look, we got. We. We use how many. I do. Like, it's.

[A]

We have a family of five, and I cook three things. I usually cook a protein and two sides.

[B]

The amount of, like, dishes and that, like I said, I. I generally clean. Do the dishes, clean the kitchen afterwards. And it's. It's so many dishes.

[A]

I will.

[B]

I will say now that Berkeley's into cooking as well, which I'm like. So I need to get her to start actually loading the dishwasher because she's starting to clean up now, but it's literally just a giant pile of, like, baking ware and dirty things all stack up. And Lisa's put in the sink, and, you know, bless her, she's really. Actually quite a good baker for age. Really good.

[A]

She's very good, I will say. So this whole Mike cleans up the kitchen, and I don't want to ask or remind him. He just knows to do it. Started a few years back. And I will say, whereas before, if I would just cook, like, chili, Mike would never be like, this is it. But I could tell he would. He was used to me cooking two sides. But now if I just cook, like, one main dish, he's like, the kids will be like, is this it tonight? Mike's like, this is plenty.

[B]

That is not.

[A]

I think it's because you don't want me to do more dishes.

[B]

I think you're. I think. I think you're projecting a little bit on that.

[A]

No, I feel I feel like.

[B]

I don't know. I've never. When have I ever really complained about anything.

[A]

No, you don't complain.

[B]

You know that, like, when I was single, I'd be fine with just a George Foreman chicken breast and just eat the breast right off the grill without that place. So I'd be fine.

[A]

I meant that as like a funny.

[B]

Literally, like, oh, sustenance. I can eat this. It's fine. It's good, you know.

[A]

No, but it literally happened the other night. Vaughn said something and you were like, this is plenty. And you probably didn't mean it because of the dishes, but it was funny how I read it. Mike was like, you don't want me to bring out one more pan to cook the side?

[B]

No, the stews in the plate. I mean, like, that's one thing about soups and stews. It's like a meal in a bowl. It's not. It's delicious. And you're quite a super artist. Sparta. Superist. That's the word, by the way. It's a superist.

[A]

Thank you, honey. I do like making soups. Just kind of dump everything I have in there and some chicken broth and just hope it turns out okay.

[B]

That's why we. We've nicknamed her Soupy at our house. So when everyone calls her now, no one calls me. Everyone calls you Soupy.

[A]

No one calls. Nope.

[B]

No.

[A]

No one.

[B]

Hey, Soupy.

[A]

It's a lie. But I do like soups. All right, okay. One very last one. One very last one.

[B]

All right.

[A]

It's okay to leave a party early.

[B]

Why not?

[A]

I say that too.

[B]

I mean, I. I don't know why that's even.

[A]

I think people sometimes have expectations that if you leave early, it's rude.

[B]

Depends on how early you leave. Like, if you. Now, if you tell people, hey, I can just do a quick pop in. You go there and you say hi, and you do as much time as you can. Well, my issue is I have a tendency to, like, want to stay, so it's a different thing. I have hard to like, because I want to say goodbye. Like a bice. Take a long time and then we're having, you know, Next thing I know, I'm playing pool with somebody because it's just part of the goodbye process.

[A]

And all his whole family's waiting in the car. It's not funny. That's a trigger point for me. It's a red flag. What's this? A great going into red flag.

[B]

Yeah. Look, I'm not a. There are people that are big fans of The Irish goodbye, which. I don't know if that's a derogatory thing or not, but it's a term. I don't know, but it's. If you haven't heard that term, it's basically, you just leave without saying anything.

[A]

It's derogatory. I don't know if it's Irish goodbye.

[B]

Who knows? I don't know any day nowadays what's. What isn't, what isn't anymore. I'm almost 50, so I don't know what to say half the time I'm

[A]

old, and that's my excuse.

[B]

But, yeah, the. The leaving without saying goodbye. I get why people do it, because sometimes it's easier. Especially if some parties, like, pop and you're there and you want to, like, just deuce out. I get it.

[A]

It's. No, it's based on a stereotype where

[B]

Irish stereotypes aren't good. That means stereotypes aren't really good.

[A]

Leave the pubs in gatherings quietly without formal farewells. Okay, that's not. Doesn't say anything bad.

[B]

I didn't know the history opposite.

[A]

Oh, stop it, Mike. Did you know this? The opposite is sometimes jokingly called the Midwestern goodbye. It's where the person talks for at least 30 more minutes. Yeah, there you go.

[B]

That makes sense.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

There you go. I. You know what? I'll. I'll own that stereotype. Milwaukee in the house. Here, look. You gotta say, that makes sense.

[A]

That's your mom, dude.

[B]

Yeah. It's like a goodbye that. You gotta say the goodbyes that take 30 minutes. That makes sense.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, well, I'm a Midwestern or goodbye, Irish. Okay.

[A]

A lot of Irish.

[B]

Cool. We'll own those stereotypes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Anyway. No, I don't think it's. It's weird. It all depends on that. I'm like.

[A]

I don't think it is either.

[B]

All right, cool.

[A]

I love that we agree on that.

[B]

Great.

[A]

Can you leave earlier when I want you to, from now on, since you

[B]

want me to leave right now. All right, so we're gonna pivot. So to me, historically, if I'd say a red flag is this, it would always be in the context of, like, if I was dating someone, I'd be like, oh, that's a major red flag. Like, let's just say that person, you know, didn't shower and only used perfume.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

Kind of a red flag.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But now, apparently, y' all flipped the words that you can be like. You can use it for yourself. You can say, my red flags are. And you can say, like things that you like. Joke about yourself.

[A]

Flip. It's just a joking way on the term now.

[B]

Yeah, but it still doesn't.

[A]

Before it wasn't very funny. It was like, red flag. But now the joke has made it kind of more of like a sarcastic joke of red flags being kind of funny in a comedic way.

[B]

So you'd be like, your red flags are what?

[A]

My red flag would be making a cup of coffee and then never remembering where I put it. Right.

[B]

See, but when I hear it that way, I would think that you hate it when people do that. But you're saying that about yourself.

[A]

Yeah, both can be true. I can also think that's annoying for someone else, too, so.

[B]

Oh, double standards.

[A]

No, it's holding myself to the same standard. What are you talking about? Why are you having such hard time grasping.

[B]

I know. I'm just saying earlier on, this is the first time I've heard it used in that context. Maybe because I'm not like. I don't. I'm not. Maybe it's a social media thing more than it.

[A]

I don't know of, like a youthful thing.

[B]

All the kids are saying it now. Roll my red flags. Listen, so I got a little passion about that earlier. That was the whole point in that one thing. I was a little. I was like, this doesn't make any flipping sense.

[A]

He gets passionate about very rare.

[B]

Doesn't make sense. It's not proper use of language.

[A]

Okay, so what is the English? What's the game?

[B]

This isn't a game. It's going to ask you some things. You're going to tell me, is it a red flag or not?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right.

[A]

I'm excited.

[B]

Is golf actually networking? Like, if your husband says, I gotta go work, I'm going golfing. It's networking. Is it. Is it really networking?

[A]

I think it's only networking if someone is there that you are actually actively, like, doing a deal with or trying to hire or. I think it's the intent behind it. Then I would say it's 100 networking.

[B]

What if it happens a week, once a week?

[A]

Then, no, that's a hobby. And then I think relationships could come of it. Sure.

[B]

What if they're like, I, I want this to be a networking opportunity. Maybe it comes in the moment.

[A]

Well, then if it's a networking opportunity, then there has to be something behind it to be the.

[B]

What if it is that you're there going golfing with your buddies. But, you know, at the country club, when you're done having a beer, there might be an opportunity to meet somebody. No, that's gonna. I disagree. I think that.

[A]

I think you would just go hang out and have lunch and see what happens.

[B]

Then you're just. Then you're just like a. It's not a show. You're like a mole. You're there to like. That's gross. You're not there really playing the links.

[A]

You're saying, then the whole point of golfing would be to networking. It's the same thing. You're just using golf.

[B]

That's why you play tennis.

[A]

Absolutely not true. Absolutely. I. Dude, I hope I don't network well. Tennis and I just get so.

[B]

So. So is that a red flag if somebody says it's. I'm going golfing because it's not working and it's.

[A]

No, I just want more information. I don't think it's a red flag.

[B]

Is it. Okay. Is it a red flag if your spouse watch this episode ahead of you,

[A]

like, on a show you're watching together?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know how I feel about this. I think it's mean.

[B]

So that's a red flag.

[A]

It's a red flag unless they do it one time and you tell them, no, don't ever do that again, and then they never do it again. Then it's.

[B]

What if they did it again and again? What if they did it and then they didn't tell you about it and then they watched the show together?

[A]

Which one did you watch without me?

[B]

I never did. Tell me you did that one time to me.

[A]

I think I did.

[B]

You did. And then you pretended you didn't watch it. You're like, actually, I watch it already.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. I never saw that coming.

[B]

You did do that.

[A]

I don't remember.

[B]

You did. You're like, oh, yeah?

[A]

What show?

[B]

I don't remember.

[A]

Okay, then it didn't happen.

[B]

Well, the thing. Yeah, we watched the most recent Game of Thrones 1, but you were kind of into. Then you fell asleep, and then you told me to watch.

[A]

I mean, I think if you were constantly going before me in shows, number one, I'd be like, where am I that I can't watch it with you two. Then I would just watch it by myself. And then you're just losing time, hanging out.

[B]

Okay. No.

[A]

Which is your loss.

[B]

So I agree. It. I don't like watching. Like, if we have a show, I you and I talk. I'm like, we're gonna watch this one. You're like, no, I'm like, I want to watch that show. But, yeah, not saying that we don't do that. But what if. What if the person watched it and then was still willing to watch it with you?

[A]

Good.

[B]

You wouldn't care.

[A]

I think I would be mildly irritated. If it happened all the time. Yeah, if it happened all the time. Because then we don't get to experience it together.

[B]

So that's a foul.

[A]

What was it? The show. Oh, the show about the daughter who was getting bullied in text messages. And it came out to be. I'm just gonna say it. So I'm not gonna say the name. It came out to be the mom.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you remember how our heads swiveled with our mouths open, looking at each other like. You don't get those funny, true moments if one's already seen it.

[B]

I agree with that.

[A]

So.

[B]

I agree with that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I haven't. I don't sneak shows.

[A]

No.

[B]

Plenty of other things we could do.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I'm reading Red Rising still sellers that.

[A]

Yeah. And I have a. I have Love is Blind.

[B]

I know you. You always want me to update you on and what's going on in Darrow's life.

[A]

Never.

[B]

It's really important.

[A]

Never ever.

[B]

All right. Is leaving one sip left in the fridge psycho?

[A]

No, but it's infuriating. Like, when I pull, like, milk out, I'm like. It's like one drop. I'm like, why couldn't they just use it? But I think that's the kids. I don't think you do that.

[B]

Yeah, our kids put. I found empty boxes in our fridge and freezer.

[A]

You do that too. I've got you. I go, honey, is there anything in that box? And you're like, oh, no.

[B]

Recently, it's lucky I found the box.

[A]

So you guys both do that. You and the kids both do that.

[B]

So leaving one. One sip is annoying. I've probably been guilty of it.

[A]

Oh, you're super guilty. On, like, the six pack of beer that have the toppers. I'll pull, like, four out and this long, massive thing is attached to one can.

[B]

I'm like, yeah, I don't get off. Called Pac text. I don't pull the pack text.

[A]

Yeah, you're better.

[B]

Okay. Is somebody unwilling to share their food with you?

[A]

Okay, see, this is deflecting. So he's pointing that at me because that's me. And it's because he just got called out on himself.

[B]

Is that. Is that a red flag or not?

[A]

Here's the deal. I think it's a red flag if my food that I picked and your food that you picked come out and before that person even takes a bite of their own food, they. They've got their fork at the side and they're like, can I have a bite of yours? And I'm like, after I'm done with it. No, let me. That's my. I picked it. I agree with that. If you want it, you should have picked it.

[B]

I agree with that. It's. I agree with that.

[A]

And I don't eat very much different

[B]

when it's like you're halfway through the meal and that person's still slapping your hand because you want to bite. And they're. Then they stab you with the fork and then they. Then they shame you and they spit their food out at you and you're,

[A]

you know, just keep going the dramatics. Here's what I do. I can only eat half of a portion. No matter where I'm at, I eat half of it. I have a very small stomach. I should eat like six times a day. So I know everyone in my whole family knows they can have some of my food. But let me get a few bites down first because I'm excited about this food and I am a little possessive when it comes to food. Now that you say it, I hide my own snacks in my food too.

[B]

You do? That's what I say. Literally. One of the questions. Is it a red flag when somebody hides snacks?

[A]

No, because all three of my kids will eat it all real quick. Vivian had three. I bought Cheez its. I'm gonna show my true colors. Talking about this. I don't buy cheese.

[B]

It's full of garbage too.

[A]

Okay, thank you. I don't. I don't buy Doritos. We don't have fun snacks, which our

[B]

kids ain't, by the way, because they always tell us that we're like two foods or snacks are too healthy here. Everyone else has this garbage food. 100. You have poison in the clods or in.

[A]

I want poison, so I don't buy that stuff. But I bought Cheez Its because I was on my period and it sounded good. And so I bought the Cheez it bags. Vivian ate three in one sitting because I didn't tell her to just take one.

[B]

These are the mini bags. Just so you understand.

[A]

They're the tiny little individual bags.

[B]

Now, their daughter's not crushing three bags of Cheez Its seven. Just so people know.

[A]

But they will. But they will crush them to where they're gone. With three kids, they can take them out in two days, like one 12 pack.

[B]

So you do hide snacks.

[A]

I 100% hide snacks. There's some hidden now that you don't.

[B]

You were asking me about ADD things yesterday and one of the things I pointed out is that. And you said that it wasn't an add thing. You told me it was a period thing.

[A]

I'm adhd, Mike.

[B]

But you, you make giant piles of snacks next to your bed once a month.

[A]

I do. And it's not my fault. God made us that way.

[B]

It's on the bed stand too. It's like I'll come in if I like if you're read, you're in bed watching TV or something like that on your phone, you know, and you'll just be like, like kneeling on, on one of the nerds. The nerd cluster. And then I look over it, it looks like like a 15 year old girl's like bed stand because it's like, like lotions and snacks and, and then gadgets. I don't know what.

[A]

So true. I've got like my ear cleaner over there. I've got like a face roller gadget, snacks and lotions, but like a pile of them.

[B]

100 and then usually one cereal bowl left over from some.

[A]

I know you say a coffee cup. A coffee cup is more accurate. Cereal bowls, I don't really eat them anymore.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I used to do a good 10, 10pm Cereal sesh every day. Like it was so good.

[B]

Is it wrong for a spouse to make a secret fast food run and not tell the other person?

[A]

No.

[B]

Is that a red flag?

[A]

That's stupid. I mean, will I see you eating the food without offering?

[B]

You don't tell her. You just go secret run, eat in the car.

[A]

I think that's dumb.

[B]

So it's. That's. You don't do that or you don't tell it.

[A]

I've. I've grabbed food without you and you

[B]

didn't know, so you didn't tell me.

[A]

This was in the middle of like a work day. No, I was out running errands.

[B]

You are making secret.

[A]

That's the dumbest thing. That cannot be real.

[B]

It is real. People apparently get offended by that food stuff. That's.

[A]

This is.

[B]

I didn't make these questions up. Is it wrong to make a secret fast food run and not tell your spouse? Like you're gonna go get food and I'm not gonna tell you. I'm gonna eat the food in my car.

[A]

I try.

[B]

I don't want you to eat with me because I want to be alone.

[A]

I mean, I will say there's been a couple of times where you Go do a run or a coffee run or something. And you didn't know I was coming back that early. And I'm like, you didn't give me anything. You're like, I didn't know you were going to be home. And I'm like, man, that would have been nice to have a frap right now. And that's it. But, like, you didn't know I was going to be home, even though you can see my location. And you probably should have checked that before you got the coffee.

[B]

Oh, okay. So now we are triggered a little bit. So it is a red flag. That is a foul. All right. No, it's not always dumb. Share all your time and all yours.

[A]

I think that's crazy.

[B]

Is ordering food for your spouse or significant other controlling or kind?

[A]

Are you making the choice or are you just saying it to the waiter?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I mean, I want to eat what I want to eat, but if you want to say it for me, I don't care. Yeah, that's a silly thing.

[B]

What if I chose to order food for you?

[A]

Honestly, that'd be awesome. I hate picking food. It's, like, so overwhelming.

[B]

So if I would be like, oh, the flamingon. And she'll have the salad.

[A]

Deal. Crispy chicken, though.

[B]

Yeah. You remember. You remember our first date, right? Our very first date where I ordered a salad?

[A]

Our very first date. I. I told myself I was 21. Barely 21.

[B]

You're 22.

[A]

I was barely 22.

[B]

You're 22.

[A]

And I, we were at a Mexican food place, and I was like, I really want to order a salad. Because at the time, I was like, in peak fitness obsession.

[B]

Fitness gin. Yeah, like excessive fitness gin.

[A]

Like the. I mean, I wouldn't even say it was, like, obsessive to an unhealthy. It's just all I did was work or go to the gym. And then I was eating naturally. Very low calorie, more like healthy. Grilled chicken out of a bag because it's what I could afford. So I would get, like, the big bag of frozen chicken breasts. I had my grocery order the exact same because I already mapped out the money. I didn't have extra. So it would be broccoli, cutlets, shredded cheese that I could put on top. Grilled chicken done. And then I think every once in a while I would get, like, a single fruit of, like, different fruits.

[B]

I'll have a banana. A banana?

[A]

No, like, one apple. And I could cut up and make it go like three days or whatever. But I was okay with that, because I was very much in, like, fitness food tracking coming, because I was like that at my end of college. Anyway, I was very fit, so I wanted to order the chicken salad because that's, like, what I was eating those days. And I remember being like, I can't order the chicken salad. He's gonna think I'm this girl who, like, doesn't eat. And, like, I can eat. I. I'm gonna get enchiladas, even though I don't want enchiladas. Which step one, be yourself. That was dumb. But this is going through my head. So I order the chicken salad. Not excited about it. No.

[B]

You order the enchiladas.

[A]

Oh, no, I ordered the enchiladas. Not excited about it. I order first enchilada plate. I look at him, and he's like, I'll take the grilled chicken salad. And he orders what I wanted. And the whole time, I was just, like, eating this soupy enchilada that was probably putting me through distress.

[B]

Well, you impressed me by your ability to gorge on our first dates. That was awesome.

[A]

Yeah, that is a funny story. I totally forgot about that now. I ate enchiladas, so I'm not getting a salad. I'm getting the enchiladas.

[B]

Going back to the thing you said about sharing food. Maybe think of something.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You said about sharing your location. Look at it. Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So would it be a red flag if you. I didn't want to share my location with you,

[A]

so I want to say no. But then if I went to you and said, let's share location in case I'm die, I die and need to be found, and you told me, I don't want to do that, then I. I would be a liar if I told you I didn't kind of be like, why doesn't he want me to know where he is? Yeah, that would definitely be a question in my mind. And I'm, like, not a jealous person. So if I had those, I don't know if it would, like, be a fight with me or anything, but I think it would be something that I would think I'd go about my day, go about my weeks or whatever, but I think it would end up coming back somehow to where I'd be like, why don't you want me to see where you are? I think it would show face again.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If I'm being honest on, like, how I think and move.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know. You know, I've always had it on, and everyone thought anything Other. Other than not. So I don't. It's not even something I've thought about. I guess if you've always had it off and you don't care, then it's fine.

[A]

It's funny, though. I don't.

[B]

I don't know if you, like, if you had it on and you just abruptly turned. Like, maybe it's like, one again. Ours is always, just by default, have always been because of our family account.

[A]

But I'm not gonna lie. I do. I do think. And I'm getting. It's changing a little because it's so common. I do think it's weird when all friends have their location on, because that's weird. I'm like, why do we all need to know what each other's doing all the time?

[B]

I don't want to know where my friends are.

[A]

I do. And I have nothing to hide.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I think where it comes into. Okay, so I have nothing to hide, so I don't care. I share my location with you. My dad. My dad will text me playing tennis. I see he's, like, checking on me if I'm drilling. And then Charity, my best friend from high school, producer of this podcast. And that's because when she, like, comes and visits or, like, does, I can always see if she's, like, totally far away or not. More of a timing thing anyway, because she lives an hour and a half away. But where I could see it being really bad with teenagers, especially girls, is now you see if all your friends are hanging out and you weren't invited.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think that that's something I. Well, I know my generation, I didn't have to deal with that because social media wasn't even on yet. I got social media senior in high school, going into college, and so we got to just exist in the moment and not compare about if we weren't invited. Something. Sure. We heard it about it at school.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But then we just tackled it in the moment in real life versus stewing at home.

[B]

What if you weren't invited in the chat room?

[A]

What chat room?

[B]

Your AOL chat rooms.

[A]

I never did chat rooms.

[B]

You didn't? I thought you'd said you were just

[A]

like, my space was like, what's that door? But that wasn't a chat room.

[B]

I thought you said you had, like, rooms you can go on and randomly talk to people.

[A]

No, it was just my aol. I would never be allowed any chat rooms.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Like, my parents didn't monitor that a ton because they didn't know what they didn't know, to be fair. Like, I didn't know what I didn't know either. But I don't ever remember having, like, talks about chat rooms with my parents or anything. But I didn't.

[B]

Okay. It's interesting. I don't. I don't see. I guess maybe on vacations and things like that, have a group of people, but I don't.

[A]

You think it's weird if I didn't share my location with you?

[B]

I think if you turned it off now, I'd be like, why did you. Why'd you turn it off? Because we've always had it on.

[A]

Hold on. But yours goes off randomly.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know. And I text you never. Then I'll never turn it off.

[A]

I'll be like, tracking you for dinner. And I'm like, where is he? And then the location not. Not shared or something. And I was like, why is your location not on?

[B]

No, I. I don't turn it off. It's just whatever it is.

[A]

Service.

[B]

Yeah. Probably big. But anyway, I think if you.

[A]

She.

[B]

I've never turned off.

[A]

Kidding.

[B]

If I think if you had it off and we've. Since we've had it on so long and you did randomly turn off, and I'm like, what's that? And you're like, I don't feel comfortable anymore, I would be like, what?

[A]

Why?

[B]

Yeah, I would definitely question. It would be strange. But if you've never had them on to begin with and you trust the person, it's not like I need to see it. Did you trust the person? Right, Right.

[A]

We also are home pretty much all the time.

[B]

I don't know. I. I feel. I feel better when yours is on because I know that, like, where you are, and Me too. And, like, as a, you know, I guess the. It's, you know, evolutionary, instinctive aspect of me being a man, I'm like, I want to know. And be a protective aspect.

[A]

Like, track me. You heard it, guys, loud and clear. He's a man who wants to track his property.

[B]

It's not about property. It's about protecting. It's about, you know.

[A]

Wait, question, question. Do you actually, like, tap on my location every once in a while?

[B]

No. The only time I'll do.

[A]

I was about to say, I don't think you ever.

[B]

The only time I do it is I want to know if you're. If you would say you're playing tennis when you're coming home to see if, like, how long. If that's, like, if there's lunch or things like, that's really the only time. If it's like, it. I don't know. That'd be the only really other time.

[A]

I check yours all the time. I figured. I checked yours way more than you checked mine.

[B]

Well, I know you did earlier, before the podcast here, because you called me and you knew I was still at the brewery.

[A]

Yeah, I told Haley. I'm like, this fool hasn't even left the brewery yet. We. We don't need to rush over there.

[B]

Yeah, there's no. Like, I'm already gone. You're like. You're not gone. Yeah, I know exactly where you are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Is going to Costco as a couple a real date?

[A]

Remember when you. We went to Target after that date night, and you're like, why the hell are we at Target? I did say night. And I said, because we're gonna hold hands and we're gonna peruse the aisles, and I think it was the worst date you've ever had.

[B]

I didn't say it was the worst.

[A]

I mean, I think it would be a fun date because we could really hone in on our grocery shopping.

[B]

Oh, you know, weird as it is, I don't. I would. I could see fun in there. And then you get a hot dog.

[A]

Yeah, it'd be very fun. We should do that. We've never been to Costco together without the kids.

[B]

We have. It's been a long time.

[A]

When?

[B]

Yeah, when? When. Before they opened the One in Allen, we went down to the one down in. I don't know, where's the Plano? We went down there. I remember going with you, not understanding the whole concept, like, wait, I gotta pay her and wait, why can't I use my MasterCard?

[A]

I know.

[B]

Is this like.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

What.

[A]

That's weird.

[B]

And then also, why do I need 10,000 rolls of toilet paper when I can just go buy eight? That's the other thing. It's like. It's.

[A]

That's a weird thing you have. Like, our butts aren't going anywhere, and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna poop until I die. So it's not bad having toilet paper stock.

[B]

Well, no, I mean, since COVID I get it. It's good keeping a lot extra. You never know when the world's toilet paper supply is going to go down and how. That's important. All right.

[A]

I think that's a good place to stop. But I also think that a part two could be had. We didn't get through near enough red flags.

[B]

I don't know if we actually even talked about any red flags. Mine weren't even red flag questions, so I don't know if that's like, legitimate. Like, I had made questions, but it was supposed to be fair or fast to my defense.

[A]

Okay, we'll do it next. Fair foul next episode.

[B]

No, mine was more supposed to be fair or falling. You're like, no, I don't like the way that sounds. How do you. Why are you pronouncing foul like that? That's not even a real word. I'm like, it's a word. Foul is pronounced.

[A]

Foul sounds like you're saying follow Foul, foul, foul.

[B]

It's the same word,

[A]

but not foul.

[B]

Foul.

[A]

It's like this.

[B]

My ax. It's my O's.

[A]

W is very.

[B]

Also my congestion probably doesn't help as well. So it's like with that.

[A]

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you have any questions, comments, concerns, or topic ideas, please send them to you, me and mike podcast gmail.com again, all typed out with words. You, me and mike podcast gmail.com feel free to leave a review. We are so appreciative. I looked at the reviews the other day and we have like 6,000 almost five star reviews, which is nuts. Like, that's. We are so grateful for that. So thank you. We do look at those. We are so grateful. And it's, you know.

[B]

Yeah, it's like how we need to go through those.

[A]

It's like a payment if you think about it. That's our payment. So thank you so much.

[B]

Let's do. We can do the fair file and then we need to really do those questions.

[A]

We will. Next Part two. Next time.

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

We're doing it. We're doing it.

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

Let's do it.

[B]

Let's go.

[A]

Next time.

[B]

Turn the podcast off. Let's go.

[A]

Bye, guys.

[B]

Bye.