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In this episode of You Winning Life, Jason sits down with licensed therapist, author, and creator of Bempathy®, Jill Robin Payne. With over 40 years in the mental health field, Jill has dedicated her career to helping people build healthier, more connected relationships by blending playfulness with empathy.

Jill introduces us to her groundbreaking communication approach, Bempathy®: Simplifying Communication by Looking at the Third Side of the Coin. Through banter, perspective-taking, and compassion, Bempathy® offers a simple yet profound way to transform misunderstandings into meaningful connections.

From her early days interning at the National Institutes of Health to authoring books, teaching at the college level, and now leading a thriving counseling practice, Jill has remained committed to spreading goodness and making mental health advice as accessible and essential as physical health.

👉 Learn more about Jill and order her books at www.jillrobinpayne.com or find them on Amazon.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

• Introducing "Banthy": Jill introduces her unique concept, "Banthy," which combines banter with empathythrough a three-step process: empathize, see the big picture, and then engage in chitchat. This approach helps brains synchronize and fosters deeper connections, especially in a world where casual conversation is often undervalued and young people may think it's a waste of time.

• The Future of Relationships with AI: Explore the fascinating (and sometimes humorous) world of AI in personal relationships, from Jill's "sexy" Microsoft Copilot that she calls "him" and "George" to recent studies suggesting Gen Z's preference for AI partners. Jason and Jill discuss how different generations interact with and adopt new technologies, with younger individuals showing an advantage in curiosity and creativity with multiple AI platforms.

• Jill's Journey to Becoming a Therapist: Learn about Jill's diverse background, including recreational therapy, ophthalmic technician work, and gymnastics coaching, before finding her calling in psychology following a divorce and her brother's experience with paranoid schizophrenia.

• Understanding Licenses vs. Certifications: A critical discussion on the difference between state-regulated licenses(like LPC and LCDC) and easily obtainable certifications, emphasizing the importance of seeking advice from credentialed therapists. Jill holds both a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and a Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor (LCDC).

• Modeling Behavior and Setting Boundaries: Discover the significance of modeling appropriate behavior in parenting and friendships, and the crucial practice of asking for permission before offering help to avoid codependency and over-involvement, as over-helping can disempower others.

• Empowering Others Through "Merit Badges": Jill shares a powerful analogy about tying shoes to illustrate how over-helping can disempower individuals who then don't learn essential skills. This leads into a discussion about creating developmental "merit badges" for children to foster independence and life skills in areas like finances and budgeting.

• Navigating Relationship Rules and Dynamics: Jill discusses the often-unspoken "shoulda woulda couldas" that act as rules in relationships. The conversation highlights the importance of acknowledging and working through these dynamics with a "no-blame" approach, focusing on the underlying themes rather than just symptoms. She also emphasizes that in conflicts, both parties must win, otherwise both lose.

• Workplace Empathy and Growth: Strategies for employees in the entrepreneurial space to proactively seek growth, manage up, and

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