Career Growth Moves That Make You Impossible to Ignore | Career | Presented by MasterClass

Summary

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha

Episode: Career Growth Moves That Make You Impossible to Ignore | Presented by MasterClass

Date: November 19, 2025
Host: Hala Taha
Featured Experts: Derek Kinney, Patrick Lencioni, Tori Dunlap, Stacy Vanek Smith, Michelle Tillis Lederman, Yasser Khan, Matt Abrahams, Chris Voss, Kim Scott, Tim Sallow, Ken Coleman, Julie Solomon

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Young and Profiting" explores actionable strategies for building workplace influence, becoming indispensable in your career, and setting yourself up for long-term growth. Drawing on advice from top-tier experts, Hala Taha deconstructs key topics such as entrepreneurial thinking for employees, cultivating confidence, the power of networking and likability, communication mastery, handling feedback, strategic proximity, and self-promotion. Whether you're aiming for promotion, more impactful relationships, or simply to stand out at work, you’ll find concrete steps and memorable tactics for every professional stage.

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Key Discussion Points, Insights, and Timestamps

1. Influence Starts with Mindset: Think Like an Entrepreneur

• [02:07] Derek Kinney: Encourage employees to view their roles as business owners—seeking opportunities to grow revenue, reduce friction, and proactively solve problems.
  • “If an employee says, ‘How can I help you grow this business?’ that's gold.” – Derek Kinney [02:27]
• Hala emphasizes that entrepreneurial thinking unlocks opportunities such as getting equity, especially in startup environments. [02:42]

2. Align with Your Zone of Genius

• [04:33] Patrick Lencioni: Warns against the “achievement trap” of doing what you’re good at, even if you don’t like it, and advocates focusing on work that energizes you.
  • “I thought [my weaknesses] were my superpowers... And you’re young and you’re like, ‘I can power through anything.’ And that doesn't mean we're meant to.” – Patrick Lencioni [04:42]

3. Cultivating Unshakable Confidence

• [06:34] Tori Dunlap: Roots authentic confidence not in skills but deep self-worth—seeing oneself as worthy of opportunity and belonging.
  • “I believe myself worthy of every opportunity, of every piece of love and belonging.” – Tori Dunlap [06:34]
  • “If you believe yourself worthy… you will not be shocked when all that starts happening in your life.” – Tori Dunlap [07:26]

4. Confidence, Storytelling, and How Value is Perceived

• [08:24] Stacy Vanek Smith: Asserts value at work is essentially a story—confidence helps write it.
  • “The value of... the work itself is a story. Confidence is a story.” – Stacy Vanek Smith [08:28]
• Hala and Stacy discuss the correlation between workplace confidence, career advancement, and even salary levels.
• Tips: “Confident people act... speak up in the meeting, ask for a raise, take action.” – Stacy Vanek Smith [09:07]
• Birds of a (Confident) Feather: Surround yourself with people who lift your confidence. [09:37]

5. The Power of Likability and Relationship Networking

• [10:47] Michelle Tillis Lederman: Reviews research showing likable people are viewed as more trustworthy and innovative—ultimately, it results in higher influence and more opportunities.
  • “Your ideas are received and acted upon, so you are listened to… you are seen as more innovative…” – Michelle Tillis Lederman [10:56]
• Authentic networking: Shift from transactional, short-term focus (“networking for need”) to genuine, curiosity-driven relationship-building. [12:13]
• Practical connection tips:
  • Get personal, not just down to business. [13:20]
  • Think long-term, not short-term.
  • Focus on what you and the other person can build together, not just what you can get.

6. Mastering Communication and Personal Branding

• [16:15] Yasser Khan: Every interaction is a stage—what you say defines your personal and company brand.
  • “When you open your mouth, that is your brand.” – Yasser Khan [16:15]
• “Public speaking” is every conversation, not just being on stage. Treat every interaction with care. [16:57]
• [17:57] Matt Abrahams: Spontaneity comes from preparation—know your audience, have key themes and supporting stories ready (think “mise en place” for conversation).
  • Use environment observations for easy small talk—e.g., commenting on everyone wearing blue at a conference. [19:37]

Presence, Voice, and Body Language

• “It’s not just what you say, but how you say it.” – Matt Abrahams [20:22]
  • Appear confident by making yourself “big”—shoulder blades down, head held straight.
  • Vary your voice for novelty and engagement.

7. Negotiation and Leading Through Questions

• [22:58] Chris Voss: Master of negotiation, shares the “illusion of control”—using “what” and “how” questions shifts the dynamic and empowers others.
  • “People love to be asked what to do... You give them the illusion of control when you ask those questions.” – Chris Voss [22:58]
  • Example: “How am I supposed to do that?” helps raise obstacles gently without confrontation. [23:46]

8. Asking for—and Handling—Feedback

• [25:11] Kim Scott: Feedback is a cornerstone of career growth. Solicit it with intent to understand (not just respond), reward candor, and openly (but respectfully) disagree when needed.
  • “You want to start by soliciting it... Think about how you’re going to embrace the discomfort...” – Kim Scott [25:23]
• If you disagree with feedback, voice partial agreement and request time to process—then follow up. [26:36]
  • “Some of my best professional relationships started with a good, respectful disagreement.” – Kim Scott [26:45]

9. When to Move: Escaping Toxic Workplaces

• [27:49] Tim Sallow: Describes confronting a manager at Microsoft who refused to develop him.
  • “He looks me dead in my eyes and he says, ‘It’s not my job to grow you.’ And that’s when I realized...great manager, awful leader.” – Tim Sallow [27:57]
• Sometimes, leaving is the best move for growth, especially if you’re otherwise excelling but not being supported.

10. The Proximity Principle: Go Where the Opportunity Is

• [30:13] Ken Coleman: Proximity to the right people and places is a shortcut to opportunity.
  • “In order to do what I want to do... I’ve got to be around people that are doing it and in places where it is happening.” – Ken Coleman [30:13]
• Opportunity is a cycle: right people lead to right places and vice versa.

11. Self-Promotion: BYOP (Be Your Own Publicist)

• [32:57] Julie Solomon: Owning and broadcasting your own value—advocating for yourself clearly and confidently—is non-negotiable.
  • “If you’re not going to toot your own horn, who is?” – Julie Solomon [32:57]
  • “You can’t hide yourself and expect to be seen.” – Julie Solomon [34:00]
• Hala closes with the call to action: Claim your value, speak up, and act like a leader now.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If an employee says, ‘How can I help you grow this business?’ that's gold.” – Derek Kinney [02:27]
• “I thought [my weaknesses] were my superpowers... And you’re young and you’re like, ‘I can power through anything.’ And that doesn't mean we're meant to.” – Patrick Lencioni [04:42]
• “I believe myself worthy of every opportunity, of every piece of love and belonging.” – Tori Dunlap [06:34]
• “The value of... the work itself is a story. Confidence is a story.” – Stacy Vanek Smith [08:28]
• “When you open your mouth, that is your brand.” – Yasser Khan [16:15]
• “People love to be asked what to do... You give them the illusion of control when you ask those questions.” – Chris Voss [22:58]
• “You want to start by soliciting it... Think about how you’re going to embrace the discomfort...” – Kim Scott [25:23]
• “He looks me dead in my eyes and he says, ‘It’s not my job to grow you.’ And that’s when I realized...great manager, awful leader.” – Tim Sallow [27:57]
• “In order to do what I want to do... I’ve got to be around people that are doing it and in places where it is happening.” – Ken Coleman [30:13]
• “If you’re not going to toot your own horn, who is?” – Julie Solomon [32:57]
• “You can’t hide yourself and expect to be seen.” – Julie Solomon [34:00]

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Flowing Summary and Action Steps

• Start acting like a business owner: Show initiative and align your effort with the company’s mission to become indispensable.
• Focus on your natural strengths: Spend more effort on tasks that energize you to boost both your performance and fulfillment.
• Cultivate authentic self-worth: Confidence begins with a belief in your own value—others will follow your lead.
• Master communication and body language: Every conversation is a branding opportunity; practice and review your interactions for improvement.
• Ask questions and seek feedback: Use “what” and “how” to guide conversations and pursue honest input—handle disagreement with professionalism.
• Invest in relationships intentionally: Ditch transactional networking; focus on long-term, genuine connections.
• Know when to stay or go: A supportive environment is critical—don’t be afraid to move on if growth is blocked.
• Get close to power: Show up in the right rooms with the right people—opportunity follows visibility.
• Promote your achievements: Speak up about your value; being visible is a prerequisite for influence.

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Essential Advice in Hala’s Tone

Don’t wait for someone to invite you to lead or to shine. Begin today—treat your job like your own business, communicate with impact, build authentic relationships, learn from every conversation, and make sure your value gets noticed. The room listens to those who believe they deserve to be heard—sit tall, speak up, and watch what happens!

Transcript

[Hala Taha]

Hey, young and Profiters. Influence isn't about being the loudest voice in the room. It's about being strategic, memorable and indispensable. If you want to grow fast, get noticed, and become indispensable at work, it starts on day one. And it's not just about what you believe. It's about what you do. Welcome to a special episode of Young and Profiting, sponsored by Masterclass. Today we're breaking down how to build influence at work from every angle.

[Guest Expert]

We are meant to exercise the gifts we've been given. I believe myself worthy of every opportunity. Communication is how you show up to the the world. When you open your mouth, that is your brand. If I'm around the right people and in the right places, the right time will happen on its own.

[Hala Taha]

You don't need to wait for permission to be influential. Let's go. Do you want to get promoted, close more deals, or be the one that others actually listen to in meetings? Because let's be honest, influence isn't about being the loudest voice in the room. It's about being strategic, memorable, and indispensable. Welcome to a special episode of Young and Profiting sponsored by Masterclass. Today we're breaking down how to build influence at work from every angle. We'll talk about how to find your role, communicate with confidence, increase your likability, ask for meaningful feedback, strengthen your relationships, promote yourself, and so much more. You'll hear powerful insights from top experts like Chris Voss, Kim Scott, Patrick Lencioni, Tori Dunlap, and Ken Coleman. By the way, Chris Voss and Kim Scott also have classes on Masterclass that you can check out. All right, Yap fam. The climb starts now. So let's get it. If you want to grow fast, get noticed, and become indispensable at work. It starts on day one, and it's not just about what you believe. It's about what you do. Whether you're in sales, operations or middle management, the most influential employees treat their jobs like a business. The ones who act like business owners, who find ways to grow revenue, reduce friction and solve problems, save stand out fast. Derek Kinney, a financial educator and the host of the Good Money podcast, gave me some great pointers on how you can become the go to person that your company can't live without.

[Guest Expert]

I want to make sure that you are the person to stand out where there's opportunities. When there's a challenge that comes up, they call on you as the go to person. And it's all about a mentality that I think you want to lay the moment you get to the office and say, look, I. I want to be here long term. I want to think like an entrepreneur. How can I help you grow this business? And I will tell you, if an employee says that to me, that's gold. That is absolute gold. Because you stand out. And we know that that person wants to add more value and they're likely going to be making more money as well.

[Hala Taha]

And not to mention when, if you work for a small startup, you're setting up yourself to eventually get equity in that company. I mean, I can, like, I'm looking at my two top employees and they're getting equity in my company because they help me grow the. And when you act like an entrepreneur, even when you're an employee, especially in a startup environment, you open yourself up to those types of opportunities.

[Guest Expert]

That's exactly right. And I think right now, employees have a very unique opportunity so they can choose to stay mentally on this path of, look, I'm just an employee. I show up at the office, I do my work, and I leave. And you're probably going to get paid exactly what you're getting paid right now, maybe 3% more this year. Or you can say, you know what, I'm going to go out on faith. I'm going to say, take what hall and Derek talked about and I'm going to apply these principles and let's just test it. There's literally no risk to you to put a list together of here's ways I have found to help grow this business or this part of the company. Your odds are going to walk out of that meeting with either an idea for three months from now. If you do these things, you'll get a raise. You might get a raise on the spot, but you'll be value to someone who's a team player and someone who wants to help grow this business. And that's what people want as a big decommoditizer for employees right now.

[Hala Taha]

Once you start thinking like an entrepreneur and a true team player, the next step is knowing exactly how you add value. The most successful people don't just take the initiative. They align it with their strengths. They know what fuels them and what drains them. And here's a trap that most high achievers fall into. They think that they have to be great at everything, but you don't. Patrick Lencioni, leadership expert and the founder of the Table Group, says one of the most powerful mindset shifts is letting go of the need to master it all and instead lean into the work that truly energizes you.

[Guest Expert]

Sometimes because of the way we're raised, we have this desire to achieve. I had this growing up, and I was actually really good at the things I hated. The first job I got out of college was a job organized around the very things I liked least. But because I had this achievement mentality, it was like, then I am going to do it. And I've come to realize now that I have wounds that I didn't even know were wounds. I thought they were my superpowers. And you know, and you're young and you're like, I can power through anything. And that doesn't mean we're meant to. And so as you understand your geniuses more, it'll be nice for you to be able to go, I don't have to be good at that. But for the longest time when I was young, I was doing all the things I didn't necessarily like. And I said, see, I'm pretty good at this.

[Hala Taha]

Yeah. And sometimes we have to. To get the experiences.

[Guest Expert]

Absolutely. There are certain things in life where we. And in fact, even in any job, every CEO, every leader has to do all of them a little bit. But if they over index on the ones that drain them of energy and they don't give themselves the experience of spending a lot of time in their genius, it's really bad. It's really bad. And burnout. And really, I think a lot of addiction comes from that. A lot of really difficult things. Because we are meant to exercise the gifts we've been given.

[Hala Taha]

When you know your role, when you're operating in your zone of genius, it gives you a huge boost in confidence. You stop second guessing yourself. You speak up more. You feel in control. But real confidence, it goes deeper than just knowing where you shine. It's about self worth. It's about walking into the room and knowing that you belong there, even if nobody's told you that yet. Tori Dunlap is the founder of her first 100k, and she's built a global movement around financial power and personal confidence. Tori shared with me where she thinks true confidence really comes from. The biggest question, which is very flattering.

[Guest Expert]

That I get asked other than a financial question, is, like, how are you so confident? Or like, how do you build your own confidence? I believe myself worthy of every opportunity, of every. Every piece of love and belonging. When I walk into a date, it is not, oh my God, is this person gonna like me? It is, how does this person fit.

[Hala Taha]

In with my life?

[Guest Expert]

Like, I'm not worried about how I'm Presenting myself, I'm just trying to figure out, like, does this person, Is this person worthy of me? Is this relationship worthy of my time? When I walk into a meeting with a client, I am wondering, how is this person going to see the value and the worth that I offer? And if they're not, it's not. It's not of interest to me. So in terms of building confidence, financial confidence, career confidence, relationship confidence, it is a self worthiness issue.

[Hala Taha]

If you believe yourself worthy of love.

[Guest Expert]

And opportunity and belonging and of every good thing, you will not be shocked when all of that starts happening in your life. I have never once questioned if I'm worthy of those things. I joke when I walk into a new therapist's office. There are many other things we're gonna have to talk about, but worthiness is.

[Hala Taha]

Not one of them.

[Guest Expert]

So when you believe yourself worthy of those opportunities, you will show up differently in every aspect of your life.

[Hala Taha]

Confidence doesn't just change how you feel. It changes how others see you. Because when you carry yourself like you're valuable, others start to believe it too. Stacy Vanek Smith, a journalist and host of the podcast Everybody's Business, says that our entire economy runs on stories, especially when it comes to value. And if you want to shift how others value you, it starts with the story you tell about yourself. All the studies show confidence is probably one of the most powerful things in the workplace, correlated to how happy you are, how much you get paid, how fast you get promoted, how much people like you, people like leaders that are more confident, all of these things.

[Guest Expert]

I think the reason it's so powerful is that value, the value of a.

[Hala Taha]

Person or a worker or the work itself is a story.

[Guest Expert]

Like, it's just a story and confidence is a story.

[Hala Taha]

I mean, the reason women get paid less, the reason that black women get.

[Guest Expert]

Paid less and black men get paid less, is it's just a story of.

[Hala Taha]

How much their work is worth. Which is also part of why it's.

[Guest Expert]

So painful when you realize you're getting paid less.

[Hala Taha]

And confidence is also a story. And if your story is like, I am amazing. And everyone's like, wow, he's amazing. I mean, there's also, like, arrogance, which.

[Guest Expert]

Is a little different. But true confidence is just a deep.

[Hala Taha]

Knowing of self worth. And that is infectious. People believe you.

[Guest Expert]

One big thing you can do is to take action. Confident people act.

[Hala Taha]

People who aren't confident waffle.

[Guest Expert]

So speak up in the meeting, ask for a raise, take action.

[Hala Taha]

That is something that is very confident.

[Guest Expert]

Another thing you can do is aim.

[Hala Taha]

A little higher than what your goal is.

[Guest Expert]

So confident people expect a lot for themselves.

[Hala Taha]

So you can pretend that you're confident by asking for more than you think you can get as far as resources, money, time off, deadlines, space.

[Guest Expert]

Like, ask for something that feels nuts to you.

[Hala Taha]

That's a way to fake it till you make it. And how about birds of a confident feather? The people we hang around influence us a lot. So if you are around someone who's always like, oh, I'm never going to.

[Guest Expert]

Get this, I would ask for a raise, but I feel like I'm going.

[Hala Taha]

To get fired, that's not great to be around. If you're trying to, like, change your confidence level. You want to be around people who are confident, people who boost your confidence. And that can be very helpful too, because you can just sort of, you know, get little tips and also just kind of be in that energy, that confident energy. It's.

[Guest Expert]

It's helpful.

[Hala Taha]

Of course, confidence doesn't mean going it alone. Influence grows faster when people actually enjoy working with you. And that's where likability comes in. When you're likable, people see you as more competent, more approachable, and more valuable. Your ideas get heard, your emails get answered, and your name gets brought up in rooms you're not even in. Michelle Tillis Lederman is a top networking expert and the CEO of Executive Essentials. I asked Michelle why likability is one of the most underrated but most powerful tools for influence. When you are likable, you are seen.

[Guest Expert]

As more credit worthy, more trustworthy.

[Hala Taha]

Your ideas are received and acted upon, so you are listened to, you are.

[Guest Expert]

More influential, you are seen as more.

[Hala Taha]

Innovative because you get credit for the ideas that other people then expand on because of the connection you have with them. They receive them, they morph them, they play with them. And then it's like, oh, well, that was Michelle's idea. So all of those things about influence impact innovation, being listened to. Likability also affects things like promotions and getting the job and getting the sale and getting the referral. Because all business is relationship business and.

[Guest Expert]

We often don't work for a company.

[Hala Taha]

We work for a person.

[Guest Expert]

We don't quit a company, we quit a person. When we are hiring somebody, when we.

[Hala Taha]

Are thinking about who we want to.

[Guest Expert]

Work with, it is who.

[Hala Taha]

Because a lot of people can do the same thing, and the differentiator is who that person is. And do I trust that they'll have my back?

[Guest Expert]

Do I trust that they'll step up.

[Hala Taha]

When I Ask for something. Another thing that's sort of often confused when it comes to networking and things like that is that, like, networking is this thing that you do for some ultimate outcome. I'm networking because I want to get a job. I'm networking because I want to find a husband, you know, whatever it is. Why do you think that we need to not have this kind of approach to networking? Okay, so you saw me, like, kind.

[Guest Expert]

Of cringe when you said that.

[Hala Taha]

I hate the whole networking for need, and that's why I hate the word.

[Guest Expert]

Because I just want you to connect.

[Hala Taha]

I just want you to build relationships, the ones that you want to, because those are the ones that are going to get you where you want to go. And the idea is that it's not strategic. And I know we have to be.

[Guest Expert]

More intentional, but there's a difference between strategic and intentional.

[Hala Taha]

I can intentionally put myself in situations.

[Guest Expert]

To be curious about somebody else. Right?

[Hala Taha]

Law of curiosity is one of the laws of likability to be interested in somebody else. But I don't have to be thinking, well, you can't do anything for me. So next, if I'm enjoying my conversation with you, that's all that matters.

[Guest Expert]

Because I don't know who you are connected to.

[Hala Taha]

I don't know who you went to.

[Guest Expert]

College with, who your neighbor is.

[Hala Taha]

Because when real connection happens, those other connections extend more easily. So when it comes to relationship networking, there's three shifts I want people to make. The first shift is from talking about business. I always say, please don't get right down to business, right? Everyone hears that phrase, let's get right down to business. No, please don't. Right?

[Guest Expert]

Get right down to personal.

[Hala Taha]

Get right down to the things that you really enjoy talking about. Because when we connect on what we.

[Guest Expert]

Like to do rather than what we.

[Hala Taha]

Do, that's where a connection forms. Because connections are about common people, places, causes, values, experiences, interests, and not jobs. So get away from just talking business. Talk about anything. Shift number two is from short term to long term, which is what you were saying. It is not about now or need. It is about relationship building and having that mindset. And the third is from it's not about me. A lot of times we're out there, it's what do I need and who.

[Guest Expert]

Do I want to connect with.

[Hala Taha]

But it's not about them either, because that's just. It's about me in reverse. It's about the relationship. I call it the dance, right?

[Guest Expert]

The exchange.

[Hala Taha]

And how do you add value for both sides? So, yes, being Likable builds trust. But influence doesn't stop there. Once people like you, you need to back it up with how you speak, how you carry yourself, and how you handle high stakes conversations. Coming up, we shift from inner belief to outer impact. How to speak, move and negotiate like somebody who's worth listening to. What's up Yap Gang? I remember back when I was in corporate, I did everything right. I worked hard and I poured into my job. But when it came time for a big promotion, the one I'd been working towards for years, they gave it to somebody else, somebody less qualified. It was painful, but a powerful realization that the hard work alone doesn't guarantee success. You've got to understand the rules of power at work. That's why I'm recommending this new series on Masterclass called the Power Playbook how to Win at Work taught by Stanford professor Jeffrey Pfeffer. In his class, he breaks down how top executives really rise to the top and how influence actually works inside organizations. You'll learn how to build strategic alliances to move your career forward, communicate with confidence, and position yourself for your next big opportunity. This kind of advice is something I wish I had back when I worked in corporate. If you truly want to gain power at work, you need to sign up for this. The Power Playbook how to Win at Work is available exclusively on Masterclass. Masterclass always has great offers during the holidays, sometimes as much as 50% off. Head to masterclass.com profiting for the current offer. Again, that's 50% [e-mail] profiting. Again, that's masterclass.com profiting. Welcome back, Yap Gang. So far, we've built up your confidence and likability. But now it's time to talk about your delivery. Because here's the deal. You can't influence anyone if they don't understand you. Or worse, they don't remember you. In the business world, verbal communication is everything. And according to Yasser Khan, the founder of Speak Like a CEO, every interaction you have, whether it's a zoom call, a pitch, or just a hallway conversation, is a stage. And how you show up on that stage determines how people perceive your value.

[Guest Expert]

When you open your mouth, that is your brand. And you'll be shocked, Hala. In fact, you probably won't be shocked with the amount of people you talk to. How many people are not careful of the words that come out of their mouth because what you say is what is reflected about your business. So if you knew that, wouldn't you be a lot more careful of what came out of your mouth, what you said, what you wrote. That's why just having that finesse on your words, making sure when you're on stage, people remember you, it's more important than it's ever been.

[Hala Taha]

Oh my gosh. I think that's so true. And aside from speaking on stage because entrepreneurs, not all of us are really going to be on stage, but there's transferable skills when it comes to public speaking. Can you talk to us about that?

[Guest Expert]

Yeah. The definition of public speaking isn't just being on stage, it's talking to someone at some time. If you are talking to someone, which I imagine if your listeners are listening, they're talking to people. Right. Unless they're locked in a basement somewhere, you are going to do public speaking. And every single time you do that, you are representing yourself and your brand. What do you want people to interpret about you? How do you want them to perceive you? How do you want them to perceive your company? All of that is public speaking. So you want to treat this stage as your entire life. Every single place you go, you're performing. So wouldn't you want to put up the best performance wherever you go?

[Hala Taha]

I think the answer is totally now. Showing up with presence is step one. But speaking with impact, that doesn't mean winging it. It means prepping like a pro. There's a real science behind things like small talk and networking. Matt Abrahams teaches strategic communication at Stanford's Graduate School of Business. And he shared how even the most spontaneous sounding conversations are built on preparation and how you can actually train for these high impact moments when you're networking.

[Guest Expert]

Just like when you're interviewing, first and foremost, you should be thinking about who are the people that are in the space or in the room or on the zoom that you're connecting with. So do some research, reconnaissance and reflection about who the people are that you might be speaking to, because that will help you focus your content. Second, come up with themes that you want to get across. So in a networking environment, what are some key ideas I want to get across and share? And you can plan those in advance, Whatever those are, you might want to. You may want to share your opinions or you have strong opinions on AI or something going on in the news that's your theme. And then stockpile some specific support for those themes. Maybe it's a store you have, maybe it's some data you heard about. Think of it this way, you know, if you ever see a restaurant's kitchen and everybody's cooking fast and furious, During a high peak time at the restaurant, they have everything prepared in advance, everything's pre chopped, pre sauteed, so they're just assembling. You can do the same thing, think about these themes and then think about these different types of support for those themes. So when I'm in the networking situation and somebody brings up a point, I could say, I can connect that point to this theme I wanted to get across and I can pull in this example. So you've taken the pressure off of yourself to be to originate in the moment and instead you're just connecting and building. And that can actually help you feel better. And it allows you to be more agile and spontaneous. And then when it comes to small talk, directly start with questions or observations. Ask somebody a question or observe something that's happening in the environment. Just comment on it. I made a great good friend simply by standing in line at a conference. I didn't know anybody. I looked around and I noticed lots of people were dressed in blue. It wasn't a uniform, it just happened to be coincidence. I turned to the guy, I said, I didn't get the memo on wearing blue. He looked around and said, you're right, everybody's wearing blue. Started a great conversation. We've now become friends. When I travel to where he lives, I visit him all the time. It started simply with an observation.

[Hala Taha]

Of course, it's not just about what you say in these types of conversations. It's how you show up while saying it. Your body language, your vocal tone, your presence, those little intangibles can make a big difference in how your message lands. Here's Matt Abrahams again, breaking down the subtle signals that can make you look more confident, sound more credible, and leave a stronger impression.

[Guest Expert]

I think one of the things we did not talk about that is important for us to think about is not just what you say, but how you say it. We need to be thinking about our body and our voices when we communicate. So it's not just feeling comfortable and confident speaking in the moment, it is appearing comfortable and confident. So let me share just a couple bits of advice about what we can do with our body and our voices. First and foremost, you want to be big. Many of us, when we get nervous or are feeling threatened, we make ourselves small. So the best thing you can do is take your shoulder blades and just pull them down, make yourself broad. I'm not pushing my elbows back. I'm not puffing my chest out. I just pull my shoulder blades down and I make myself look bigger. You look more Confident. You want to hold your head straight and not tilted. So we don't want to be. I'm not saying be stiff and rigid. Just make yourself big when you speak. Vary your voice. If I were to have spoken like this for this entire interview, people would have left a long time ago. Our brains are wild for novelty, things that change. So add emotive words. If you are somebody who doesn't have a lot of variation, add adjectives and adverbs. So I would never say, I'm really excited to be here. No, I'd say I'm really excited. So emphasize those words. So the one thing we didn't talk about is how you say what you say. And we need to remember that. And the single easiest way to work on this is to record yourself, either through voice, memo, or through video. It's really easy to do that these days and watch. It's painful to watch yourself. But when you do, you'll see these things that work for you and things that you might want to change. All of my MBA students I teach, whenever they do a presentation, I make them watch themselves without listening to it, and then I make them listen to themselves without watching it, and then do both together. And while they hate it, they love it because they learn so much and they actually are able to change.

[Hala Taha]

So you've got the presence, you've got the body language. But when the stakes are high, sometimes the most powerful way to influence isn't by saying more, it's by flipping the script. Great communicators know how to shift the dynamic. And what's one of the most effective ways to do that? It's by asking the right questions, specifically what and how questions. They get people to think, reflect, and even persuade themselves while giving them the illusion of control. I learned this from Chris Voss, the CEO of the Black Swan Group and a former FBI hostage negotiator. He knows how to guide high pressure conversations, and he shared this powerful framework for leading without forcing.

[Guest Expert]

People love to be asked what to do. People love to be asked how to do something. You know, you. You give them the illusion of control when you ask those questions. And you know, control negotiation is not about control. To guide someone what in crisis intervention, they call guided discovery, that's not control. It's giving the other side a lot of latitude. But you kind of fray things with a what or how question. And the other side doesn't feel framed. They feel they would just ask what to do or how to do it. I mean, they feel in control. So it's given the Other side, the illusion of control. It's usually through a what or a how question.

[Hala Taha]

Could you give us an example?

[Guest Expert]

Well, you know the, the famous how am I supposed to do that? As a way to say no, the other side doesn't feel attacked. What it really is, is if you can't do something because implementation is really difficult, you say, how am I supposed to do that? Or you might say three times, how am I supposed to do that? Or you might say the third time, how am I supposed to do that? Each one of those questions makes the other side think about the complexity of the problems. But they don't know that you made them think about it. They feel in control. They feel like you, you're asking for help. And you know, that's kind of the.

[Hala Taha]

That'S the way you get it started. Chris Voss just showed us how powerful it is to guide a conversation with the right question. But sometimes the hardest questions are the ones you ask about yourself. The most respected professionals aren't afraid of feedback. They go after it not because it's comfortable, but because they know it's the fastest way they can grow. If you want more influence, you need to get really good at hearing the hard stuff and doing something with it. Kim Scott is the best selling author of Radical Candor and the co founder of the company by the same name. She shared her playbook for how to solicit honest feedback, handle it like a pro, and build a stronger relationship with your boss in the process.

[Guest Expert]

So how can you make sure that.

[Hala Taha]

You can receive, that you can get feedback that is actionable from your boss? Again, there's an order of operations. You want to start by soliciting it.

[Guest Expert]

And really drawing it out of your boss.

[Hala Taha]

Sort of think about your go to question.

[Guest Expert]

Think about how you're going to embrace the discomfort, like sit with the silence. Think about how you're going to prepare.

[Hala Taha]

Yourself to listen with the intent to.

[Guest Expert]

Understand, not to respond.

[Hala Taha]

And then you gotta reward the caner.

[Guest Expert]

By either fixing the problem or explaining why you disagree.

[Hala Taha]

That last thing is pretty tough.

[Guest Expert]

But this is about radical candor. Don't pretend to agree when you disagree.

[Hala Taha]

Because that, oh, that's, that's so interesting. So you're saying there's, there's a point in this conversation where you can kind of be like, well, I appreciate your feedback even though I requested it, but I don't necessarily agree.

[Guest Expert]

Yes. Because if you can't do that, then you get wedged, right. You ask for the feedback, you disagree with it and you're like, you know, and that's often why people fail to.

[Hala Taha]

Solicit feedback, because to avoid that awkward situation.

[Guest Expert]

So what, what do you do if you disagree with your boss's feedback? Look for that 5 or 10% of.

[Hala Taha]

What your boss said that you can.

[Guest Expert]

Agree with and give voice to that.

[Hala Taha]

And then say, as for the rest of it, can I think about it.

[Guest Expert]

And process it and then can we have another conversation?

[Hala Taha]

And then you've got to get back to them? Some of my best professional relationships started.

[Guest Expert]

With a good, respectful disagreement. And you can't argue endlessly.

[Hala Taha]

You can say, look, I, you know, before you disagree, say, look, I will.

[Guest Expert]

Do it your way. But I, but I want to explain, explain to you why I have some questions about this way.

[Hala Taha]

So, so you want to make sure.

[Guest Expert]

That you're communicating your willingness to listen, challenge, commit.

[Hala Taha]

But don't skip that challenge part, because.

[Guest Expert]

It'S when you challenge that you give your boss the opportunity to explain to you why you may be wrong.

[Hala Taha]

Welcoming feedback doesn't mean you're weak. It makes you trustworthy. And trust is a currency of influence. But here's the thing. Sometimes no amount of self improvement can fix a broken environment. The real power move is knowing when it's time to walk away. If the culture is toxic, if you're not being developed, or if you're constantly overlooked, it might not be you. You could be doing all the right things, but just in the wrong place. Tim Sallow, also known as Mr. Future of Work, faced that exact situation during his time at Microsoft. And instead of staying silent, he chose to speak up.

[Guest Expert]

So for me, while I was working with Microsoft and I was working in a culture like that, where I saw up front the fact that someone toxic was hurting the culture. I remember that I went into my boss's, literally his office one day. He had white walls. He was sitting in front of his desk on a Windows computer. And literally he turns to me as I walk in. I sit on a brown chair and he's looking at me with a brown shirt and black glasses. And I look at him straight in his face and I tell him, look, I'm not happy here. I don't feel like you're doing enough to grow me, you know, and although I was killing it all right, my teammates loved me. I was good for the culture. I just didn't feel as if I was being developed. And he looks me dead in my eyes and he says, it's not my job to grow you. It's not my job to coach you. And, and all of that and then that's when I realized, you know, great manager, but awful leader, right? He's great at delegating work, getting work done, making sure milestones are met, but he's not a leader. And for me, I felt this might deserve better because I was a leader, right? And I, and I. And I carried myself in high stature. And I think that a lot of people need to run away from these environments that, that, that are toxic like that, right? Like a lot of people, often they stay in environments where they're not wanted and they don't feel wanted and it's killing them. I've had friends in my life in environments like that. They're like, I'm tired of my corporate job. And it's like, I encourage them, well, do something about it, right? If you have enough saved, if you feel as if you have an opportunity, you can create another opportunity. You're talented, why not seek something else? Why do you feel as if you have to relegate yourself to only working with this just one employer? And as we mentioned earlier, you know, that's really risky nowadays, right? Because we were relying on just one revenue stream.

[Hala Taha]

Knowing when to leave a toxic environment is powerful, but knowing where to go next, that's even more valuable. It reminds me of another great insight from Jeffrey Pfeffer in the Power Playbook. He says if you want power, you need to stay close to it. If senior leadership is in the office, be in that office. In short, if you want bigger opportunity, proximity matters. You need to be around people doing what you want to do and in the places where they're doing it. Ken Coleman is a career expert and the host of the Ken Coleman show, and he calls this very idea the proximity principle.

[Guest Expert]

We'll start with what the principle is and then what it does. The principle says this. In order to do what I want to do, you can fill in the blank there. I've got to be around people that are doing it and in places where it is happening. Young Holla did this. She thought she wanted to be a singer. So what did she do? She went to the place where they were playing all the songs. And that was a brilliant move. Right now your idea changed, but again, what's interesting is that you've also could have used the radio as that idea of this is the right place. So the proximity principle is about people and places. The right people plus the right places equals opportunity. In other words, if you're constantly getting around the right people, people that are in the space that you want to be in, or similar to the space that you think you want to be in. That proximity is just there. I think your life is actually a wonderful example of this. And you talked about it earlier because you were in proximity. You pointed it out. It wasn't that big of a departure. You are, in fact, a performer. You're a top notch performer. You may only sing for friends and family now, which, by the way, I'd love to hear you sing. I think your audience would too. There might need to be a single coming out later, but anyway, that's my ADHD flaring up. But I think that the issue here is if I understand that being around the right people is going to allow me to meet more of the right people. Being around the right people, they're going to point me to the right places. I go to the right places. I see, I learn, I observe. Oh, by the way, I connect with more of the right people over here. And so what you've got is if I were going to draw it up, it would be an arrow here, an arrow here, and we'd have the right people in the right places. And it becomes this cyclical process of learning, doing and connecting. That's what it spits out. And that formula equals opportunity to where, if you do it right, holla, people will knock on your door. In fact, some of the coolest experiences I got in my career, where I got huge opportunities, were because of proximity. I was the second option, but they needed another option. But the only reason they thought of me is because I was in the orbit, if you will. So in order to do what I want to do, I got to be around people that are doing it in places where it is happening. In other words, if I'm around the right people and in the right places, the right time will happen on its own.

[Hala Taha]

All right, yap, bam, you've made the move. You're in the right room, surrounded by the right people. But here's the final piece of the puzzle. Once you're there, make sure they know what you're all about. Because if you don't speak up for your value, who will? Julie Solomon is a business coach and the host of the Influencer podcast. She calls this idea byop, be your own publicist and talks about the importance of promoting your worth with authority.

[Guest Expert]

If you're not going to teach, toot your own horn.

[Hala Taha]

Who is?

[Guest Expert]

You know, it really does have to begin with you. It has to begin with you advocating for yourself and saying what you want, saying what you want, saying what you need, meaning what you say with clarity.

[Hala Taha]

With confidence, with security, getting really clear.

[Guest Expert]

About what is it that I want and being able to, to advocate for that. And I think that it, from my experience, not only just being a publicist.

[Hala Taha]

But just through my own journey, it.

[Guest Expert]

Has to begin with you. You know, most of most publicists that.

[Hala Taha]

I know, it's like they, they can't even really do much for somebody if someone hasn't laid that found themselves and have really learned, especially in this day and age, holla, like how to brand.

[Guest Expert]

Themselves, how to speak for themselves, how.

[Hala Taha]

To be clear about their messaging, how to be clear about their marketing and.

[Guest Expert]

How to promote themselves. And so that's really, I think, the important piece. And if anyone's having a, like any trouble with that, I would just encourage you to ask yourself, you know, why.

[Hala Taha]

Are you so afraid to be seen? You, you can't, you can't hide yourself and expect to be seen.

[Guest Expert]

So, you know, why are you so.

[Hala Taha]

Afraid to give yourself that gift of shining and see where that leads you? I love that. Julie's right. If you want to shine, you have to stop hiding. The power to be seen starts when you decide you're worth looking at. You don't need to wait for permission to be influential. Start acting like a leader, speak like one, connect like one. Influence is built in the small daily moments when you listen well, show up fully and own your value. So go claim your seat at the table and don't forget to sit tall and speak up, because the room listens to those who believe they deserve to be heard.