Podcast Summary: Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

Episode: Stephanie Harrison: The Old Model of Happiness Is Dead, Design a Business That Fuels Your Joy | E317
Release Date: November 18, 2024

Introduction

In this compelling episode of Young and Profiting (YAP), host Hala Taha welcomes Stephanie Harrison, a renowned writer, designer, and expert in the science of happiness. Stephanie, armed with a Master’s degree in Positive Psychology, shares her transformative journey from corporate burnout to pioneering a new philosophy of happiness through her company, New Happy. Her insights challenge conventional notions of happiness, especially within the entrepreneurial landscape, urging listeners to redefine success and well-being.

Challenging the Old Model of Happiness

Stephanie Harrison critiques the prevailing cultural narrative of happiness, which equates success and achievement with personal fulfillment. She describes the "old model of happiness" as a societal construct that promotes perfectionism, relentless achievement, and isolation as pathways to happiness.

Stephanie Harrison [04:36]: "It's really what you described, this cultural understanding of happiness that teaches us that if you want to be happy, you need to perfect yourself. You need to achieve more and more and consume as much as you can, and you need to dominate other people and essentially cut yourself off from them and be completely independent."

Unveiling the Lies of Old Happiness

Stephanie outlines three major lies perpetuated by the old happiness model:

1. Perfectionism: The belief that one must be flawless to be worthy of happiness.
2. Relentless Achievement: The notion that constantly striving for more validates one's self-worth.
3. Isolation: The idea that true happiness requires complete independence from others.

Stephanie Harrison [05:21]: "The first old happy lie is that you have to be perfect because you're not good enough... The second lie is really deeply connected to that, which is that you have to achieve more and more in order to prove how worthy you are... The third lie is that we're separate from other people."

Stephanie’s Personal Journey

Stephanie shares her personal struggle with the old happiness model during her early twenties in New York. Despite professional success and material comfort, she experienced profound loneliness, depression, and a sense of misalignment with her true self.

Stephanie Harrison [07:35]: "I ended up being very lonely, very depressed, struggling with my physical health, struggling with my emotional wellbeing, with basically everything... I found myself having a breakdown... realizing that maybe it wasn't that I wasn't trying hard enough or I wasn't doing enough, it was that I was doing things in the wrong way."

Path to Understanding True Happiness

Following her breakdown, Stephanie embarked on an academic and professional journey to redefine happiness. She pursued graduate studies in Positive Psychology, authored her philosophy as a graduate thesis, and gained practical experience at Thrive Global under Arianna Huffington. These experiences culminated in her founding New Happy, where she integrates her research into practical tools for well-being.

Capitalism’s Impact on Happiness

Stephanie delves into how capitalism intensifies the old happiness model by fostering perpetual competition and the belief that “more is always better.” This relentless pursuit leads to chronic dissatisfaction and mental health challenges, particularly among entrepreneurs.

Stephanie Harrison [15:06]: "In a capitalist society... pushing yourself more and more and more, and it's almost like there's never a ceiling to what's Enough... It's going to make you go out and do those things without realizing that they're hurting people and contributing to the problems in our world."

Introducing the New Happy Philosophy

Stephanie presents her "New Happy" philosophy, which emphasizes authentic self-expression and serving others as the true sources of lasting happiness. This approach encourages individuals and entrepreneurs to harness their unique strengths to create meaningful impact.

Stephanie Harrison [16:39]: "True happiness comes from being who you are and then using it to help other people."

Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Goals

A significant portion of the discussion centers on differentiating intrinsic goals (driven by personal values and desire to make a difference) from extrinsic goals (motivated by societal expectations and external rewards). Stephanie argues that intrinsic goals lead to more sustainable and fulfilling happiness.

Stephanie Harrison [27:34]: "Extrinsic goals are goals that are imposed upon you by old happy culture... Intrinsic goals, on the other hand, they come from within you... These intrinsic goals are significantly more likely to make you a happy person."

Cultivating Self-Worth and Acceptance

Stephanie emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance over traditional self-esteem models. She advocates for recognizing inherent self-worth independent of achievements, which fosters resilience and personal growth.

Stephanie Harrison [57:56]: "It's much healthier to seek out self-acceptance. So you are acceptable no matter what."

The Role of Relationships in Long-Term Happiness

Highlighting that relationships are the cornerstone of lasting happiness, Stephanie encourages building meaningful and supportive connections. She underscores that helping others can alleviate feelings of loneliness and enhance personal well-being.

Stephanie Harrison [63:16]: "Building meaningful, beautiful, helpful, mutual relationships... is the most important factor for long-term sustainable happiness."

Practical Advice for Entrepreneurs and Professionals

Stephanie offers actionable strategies for entrepreneurs to align their business goals with intrinsic motivations, such as:

• Job Crafting: Tailoring one’s role to better fit personal strengths and interests.
• Authentic Actions: Engaging in activities that resonate with one’s true self, even if they diverge from conventional productivity metrics.
• Gratitude Practices: Regularly acknowledging and appreciating the support and contributions of others.

Stephanie Harrison [34:27]: "Simply saying, what do I want right now? What matters to me? What would I like to spend the next 10 minutes doing?"

Handling Negative Emotions and Toxic Positivity

Stephanie advises embracing all emotions with compassion, rather than suppressing negative feelings in the pursuit of perpetual happiness. Acknowledging and processing emotions like sadness and anger are crucial for genuine well-being.

Stephanie Harrison [48:51]: "Just don’t judge it. It’s just a feeling. And you’re a human being who’s allowed to have feelings."

Navigating Global Crises and Personal Well-Being

In a poignant segment, Stephanie addresses the mental toll of witnessing global atrocities and personal tragedies. She advocates for recognizing our interconnectedness and choosing to support others as a pathway to sustaining personal happiness amidst external turmoil.

Stephanie Harrison [52:34]: "True well being is about saying there are people out there who are suffering and I am going to choose to bear witness to their pain, to try and show up and help in the ways that I can."

Conclusion and Key Takeaways

Stephanie Harrison encapsulates the essence of her philosophy by emphasizing that authentic happiness stems from self-acceptance and altruism. For long-term happiness, cultivating deep relationships and aligning personal and professional goals with intrinsic values are paramount.

Stephanie Harrison [64:44]: "Giving is the secret to profiting in life."

Hala Taha concludes the episode by reiterating the challenges entrepreneurs face regarding mental health and happiness. She encourages listeners to adopt Stephanie’s insights to create more fulfilling and sustainable business practices.

Where to Learn More

Listeners interested in Stephanie Harrison’s work can visit TheNewHappy.com and explore her book, The New Happy: Getting Happiness Right in a World that's Got It Wrong.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Stephanie Harrison [04:36]: "It's really what you described, this cultural understanding of happiness that teaches us that if you want to be happy, you need to perfect yourself..."
• Stephanie Harrison [05:21]: "The first old happy lie is that you have to be perfect because you're not good enough..."
• Stephanie Harrison [16:39]: "True happiness comes from being who you are and then using it to help other people."
• Stephanie Harrison [27:34]: "Extrinsic goals are goals that are imposed upon you by old happy culture..."
• Stephanie Harrison [48:51]: "Just don’t judge it. It’s just a feeling..."
• Stephanie Harrison [64:44]: "Giving is the secret to profiting in life."

This episode serves as a transformative guide for entrepreneurs and professionals seeking a more authentic and fulfilling approach to happiness and success. Stephanie Harrison’s insights challenge listeners to redefine their goals and relationships, fostering a sustainable path to well-being.