Your Anxiety Toolkit – Ep. 465: How to Stop OCD Mental Compulsions (with Lauren Rosen, LMFT)

Host: Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT
Guest: Lauren Rosen, LMFT (OCD Specialist, Author)
Release Date: December 24, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode is a comprehensive, compassionate guide for individuals struggling with OCD mental compulsions. Kimberley Quinlan hosts OCD clinician and author Lauren Rosen for an in-depth conversation about identifying, understanding, and ultimately breaking the cycle of mental compulsions—those invisible, internal rituals that drain life’s joy. The discussion is empowering and practical, offering step-by-step tools and mindful perspectives for listeners ready to make real changes.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What Are Mental Compulsions? (02:34)

• Definition: Mental compulsions are covert mental actions performed to reduce anxiety, discomfort, or doubt caused by intrusive thoughts.
• Types & Examples:
  • Rumination, worrying, mental checking, mental review, reassurance seeking, mental rehearsal.
  • Not all "obsessing" is passive; often, what people call "obsessing" is actually active mental compulsive responding.
• Speaker Quote:

  “If you’re engaged in active thinking trying to reduce anxiety, then that’s usually something we’d deem a mental compulsion in the context of OCD.”
  —Lauren Rosen [03:49]

2. Real-Life Illustration: Jennifer and Jonathan (04:17)

• Jennifer’s Example: New mother with intrusive harm thoughts—“What if I harm my baby?”
• Jonathan’s Example: Student with religious scrupulosity—“What if I prayed wrong?”
• Purpose: These composite cases illustrate how mental compulsions show up in daily life, highlighting that they're driven by attempts to alleviate distress (05:24).

3. Normalizing Intrusive Thoughts (08:27)

• Insight: Intrusive thoughts are universal, but OCD gives them excessive significance.
• Trap: Trying to convince oneself "it’s just a thought" can turn into another mental compulsion (mental reassurance).
• Speaker Quote:

  “To have a human brain is to have some wild and wonderful thoughts.”
  —Lauren Rosen [09:43]

4. Awareness & Acceptance as First Steps (09:57)

• Metaphor: Quick math facts (automatic thoughts) vs. solving a complex calculation (active mental compulsion).
• Goal: Notice mental compulsions without judgment—perfection is not the aim.
• Speaker Quote:

  “The goal isn’t to completely rid yourselves of mental compulsions. That’s not a reasonable goal…”
  —Lauren Rosen [11:45]

5. Facing the Wish to Control Thoughts (12:52)

• Challenge: The urge not to have distressing thoughts is fundamental but futile.
• Reality Check: Uncertainty and the inability to control intrusive thoughts are part of life.
• Speaker Quote:

  “There are only so many things that we can control in this life. Unfortunately, the presence of thoughts...is not within our control.”
  —Lauren Rosen [13:22]

6. Step-by-Step: Ending the Cycle of Mental Compulsions

Step 1: Non-Judgmental Awareness

• Purpose: Notice internal experiences (thoughts, urges, emotions) without criticism.
• Warning: Harsh self-judgment becomes a new compulsion.

Step 2: Open to (Allow) Emotions (17:16)

• Key Point: Compulsions are driven by the urge to escape feelings (anxiety, guilt, uncertainty).
• Practice: When mental rumination is noticed, pause and intentionally drop into the felt body sensations of emotion—even if uncomfortable.
• Reference: Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s 90-second rule—emotions unaided by thinking pass quickly (19:51).

Step 3: Shift Attention (21:28)

• Strategy: After acknowledging thoughts and feelings, practice redirecting focus toward what matters—relationships, values, meaningful experiences.
• Pitfall: Shifting attention is not resistance; it is making space (“expansion”) for all experiences, then gently returning to what’s important.
• Speaker Quote:

  “Trying to answer unanswerable questions is a fool’s errand and life is short.”
  —Lauren Rosen [24:44]

7. Addressing Common Obstacles

The “I Can’t Be Present” Struggle

• Jennifer’s Dilemma: Even during valued activities (e.g., playing with her baby), the mind drifts back to distress.
• Advice: Accept that presence will often include some unwanted thoughts; resisting this reality adds suffering. Mindful “expansion” allows both joy and discomfort (26:29).

The “I’m Too Tired and Angry” Obstacle

• Jonathan’s Dilemma: Frustration and fatigue from the constant mental struggle. Anger about the time lost.
• Advice: Recognize that comparing reality to fantasy (imagining a life without OCD) is itself a counterproductive mental behavior.

  “When you’re comparing your reality with fantasy...that fantasy situation is always going to win out and it’s all irrelevant anyway because you have what you have.”
  —Lauren Rosen [28:53]

8. Mindfulness & Practice: Building the Muscle (31:50)

• Mindfulness meditation is uniquely suited for those with mental compulsions.
  • Enhances nonjudgmental noticing, emotional expansion, and attention shifting skills.
  • Skills generalize: Mastery in not indulging mental compulsions supports resilience in other hard life contexts.
• Personal Story: Lauren notes her own experience with OCD and how these tools helped her navigate genuine loss and grief after losing her father.

  “Even in the face of very very challenging life experiences...my ability to more effectively navigate my mental landscape shifted that experience for me...”
  —Lauren Rosen [31:14]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Obsessing is really in many ways code for mentally compulsing.”
  —Lauren Rosen [05:15]

• “You be mentally compulsing about not mentally compulsing.”
  —Kimberley Quinlan [12:17]

• “The practice is simple, not easy.”
  —Lauren Rosen [23:34]

• “You’re going to suck at this and you’re going to try anyway.”
  —Kimberley Quinlan [33:22]

Practical Tools & Takeaways

• Embrace Non-Perfection: The objective is not total eradication of mental compulsions, but reducing their power and frequency—progress over perfection.
• Develop Emotional Tolerance: Willingness to feel discomfort is the gateway to breaking the compulsion cycle.
• Mindful Attention Shifting: Practice returning your focus to what’s valuable, over and over, whenever you get pulled off-track.
• Reframe Setbacks: Self-judgment or frustration are common; recognize them, don’t get stuck in them, and gently recommence the process.
• Leverage Mindfulness Meditation: Especially helpful for strengthening self-awareness and fostering emotional acceptance.
• Recognize the Universality of Intrusive Thoughts: You’re not alone, and your thoughts aren’t uniquely “bad” or meaningful.

Further Resources

• Lauren Rosen’s Book:
  The Mental Compulsions Workbook for OCD — A practical, comprehensive resource for learning to identify, understand, and overcome mental compulsions ([Lauren Rosen, LMFT]).

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:36 – Intro to episode and guest
• 02:34 – What are mental compulsions?
• 04:17 – Real-life examples: Jennifer & Jonathan
• 08:27 – Normalizing intrusive thoughts and resisting mental reassurance
• 09:57 – Awareness and difference between obsessions and compulsion
• 17:16 – Opening up to (feeling) emotions
• 21:28 – Shifting attention and expansion
• 26:05 – Navigating distractions and maintaining presence
• 27:48 – Managing anger, exhaustion, and comparison
• 31:50 – Mindfulness, practice, and Lauren’s personal story
• 32:39 – About Lauren’s book and closing advice

Final Message

This episode invites listeners to approach mental compulsions with compassion, courage, and patience. The message is clear: you won’t do this perfectly, but with nonjudgmental awareness, emotional openness, and practice shifting your attention toward what you value, a fuller and more beautiful life is possible, even with an anxious mind.