Podcast Summary

Podcast: Your Anxiety Toolkit – Practical Skills for Anxiety, Panic & Depression
Host: Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT | Anxiety & OCD Specialist
Episode: 469 “How to Stop Overthinking EVERYTHING (Even If You Can't Control It)”
Date: January 21, 2026

Episode Overview

Kimberley Quinlan dedicates this episode to exploring the problem of overthinking—why we do it, the costs it carries, and science-backed strategies to break its relentless cycle. Leaning on her 15 years of clinical experience and a practical, compassionate approach, Kimberley reassures listeners that overthinking is not a character flaw but an understandable, even adaptive, response to anxiety. She delivers concrete tools for shifting away from mental loops towards action and self-kindness, empowering listeners to pursue a more peaceful, present life.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Why Do We Overthink?

• Rooted in Caring and Protection (01:00–03:30)
  • Overthinking tends to happen to those who care deeply and want to avoid regret, harm, or mistakes; it’s the mind’s attempt to shield us from uncertainty, shame, fear, and loss.
  • "Overthinking is our brain desperately trying to protect us from uncertainty and shame and fear and loss and all of the emotions that go along with that."
• The Illusion of Control (04:00)
  • The act gives the sense of responsibility and productivity but often ends up keeping you stuck.
  • Mental rumination can feel productive, yet—like being stuck in the mud—more effort gets you nowhere.
• Not Your Fault—Evolution and Wiring (05:00–07:00)
  • The tendency to overthink is wired into us; it was adaptive for survival but is now maladaptive in modern contexts.
  • "You’re not broken for overthinking... You have been wired to overthink. You have been wired to ruminate. But we have to unlearn this urgency that us anxious folks have on solving it right away."

Overthinking vs. Problem-Solving

• Differentiating Useful Thought from Loops (03:40; 10:29–11:30)
  • Problem-solving involves actionable steps for real issues.
  • Overthinking is going in circles without a productive outcome, especially with hypothetical fears.

The Overthinking Control Trap

• Perfectionism, Control, and the Venus Fly Trap Analogy (07:30)
  • Overthinking is like a Venus fly trap: The more you try to “figure it out,” the more stuck you become.
  • Many scenarios aren’t “figureoutable”—seeking certainty where there is none increases stress and fatigue.
• Physiological Costs (08:15)
  • Increases cortisol, decision fatigue, avoidance, procrastination, and reinforces anxiety.

Six Practical Tools to Stop Overthinking

1. Name it to Tame it (10:29–11:00)

• Label the process: say out loud or to yourself, “This is overthinking.”
• Attributing the concept helps disrupt the spiral.
• "Just being able to identify it can be something that could help you stop it right there."

2. Is This Productive—Or Am I Going in Circles? (11:02–11:50)

• Ask yourself if the thinking is leading toward action/solution or just looping.
• Train your awareness to know when you’ve moved from healthy reflection to rumination.

3. Schedule Worry Time (12:10–13:45)

• Set a timer (e.g., 3–10 minutes) to give your worries designated attention—no more, no less.
• Only address concrete, solvable issues. Abstract “what ifs” do not qualify.
• Prefer short intervals (3 minutes) to avoid slipping into a rumination trap.
• "Solving it is actual actions you can take to solve this problem… the problem can't be a thought you had, because a thought is not a problem."

4. Lean Into Uncertainty (13:50–15:00)

• Accepting not knowing everything is key—strengthen your tolerance muscle for uncertainty.
• Kimberley shares her personal growth here:
  "I cannot believe—I don't even recognize myself compared to the younger Kimberley. Very short window of tolerance for uncertainty."

5. Mindfulness and Self-Compassion (15:05–16:00)

• Observe your thoughts without fusing with or fighting them.
• Use gentle self-talk; recognize that self-criticism increases distress.
• Practice seeing thoughts as just thoughts—not urgent problems.
• "When things are really, really hard, that's an opportunity or a flag to lean in with kindness, not mean criticism."

6. Attention Control Training (16:20–17:30)

• Practice redirecting your focus, repeatedly, to present tasks (“We are baking a cake right now”).
• Thank your brain for its warnings, but consciously return to what matters in the moment.
• "Your job is to go, thank you, Brain, for that. But we are baking a cake right now… and you're just bringing your attention over and over and over back to what you're doing."

Building Long-term Change and Final Thoughts

• Shift from Thought to Action (17:40)

  • Don’t aim to think less, but to act more—engage with life, not just thoughts about life.
  • "The goal isn't to figure it all out. The goal is to live your life even if you haven't got it figured all out."

• Combatting Perfectionism with Self-Compassion (18:00)

  • Overthinking often grows from perfectionism. The antidote is to give yourself permission to be imperfect.
  • "Self-compassion is the antidote to the pressure that you’re feeling to get everything right or to be perfect."

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• “If overthinking was an Olympic sport, most of us would be standing on the podium with a gold medal… but we would be exhausted.” (00:02)
• “You have evolved to overthink. In many cases it was adaptive… But there is a limit… Now… we overthink everything under the illusion that we have control.” (06:10)
• “A thought is not a problem.” (13:10)
• “The ability to be uncertain is key to any form of anxiety.” (13:55)
• “Self-compassion is the antidote to the pressure that you’re feeling to get everything right or to be perfect.” (18:00)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:02 – Opener: The struggle and exhaustion of overthinking
• 01:00–08:00 – Deep Dive: Why we overthink; evolutionary and emotional roots
• 10:29–17:30 – Kimberley’s Six Tools to Stop Overthinking (with actionable breakdowns)
• 17:40–18:30 – Mindset Shift: Moving from thinking to action and self-compassion
• 18:35–End – Encouragement for listeners to practice these skills and seek help if needed

Tone and Takeaway

In her signature warm, reassuring, and practical manner, Kimberley Quinlan normalizes overthinking and arms listeners with both understanding and tools to interrupt its hold. Her emphasis on kindness, self-awareness, and realistic change offers hope—and a blueprint—to anyone feeling trapped in their thoughts.

Resources and Next Steps

• For in-depth guidance, Kimberley mentions her “Rumination Reset” course (CBT School).
• Listeners struggling deeply are encouraged to seek professional mental health care.

“A beautiful life is possible!” (Podcast motto)