473 Mindfulness vs. Distraction: Which is Better for Anxiety & Panic? (A Therapist Explains) - Your Anxiety Toolkit - Practical Skills for Anxiety, Panic & Depression

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: Your Anxiety Toolkit – Practical Skills for Anxiety, Panic & Depression
Episode: 473 – Mindfulness vs. Distraction: Which is Better for Anxiety & Panic? (A Therapist Explains)
Host: Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT, Anxiety & OCD Specialist
Air Date: February 18, 2026

Kimberley Quinlan breaks down the often-confusing debate between mindfulness and distraction as tools for coping with anxiety and panic. With her signature compassionate and evidence-informed approach, she examines when, why, and how each strategy can be helpful, drawing from her clinical expertise guiding people through anxiety, OCD, depression, and related struggles.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Anxiety Cycle and Unhelpful Short-Term Relief

Cycle Explanation: Anxiety is triggered by internal or external factors. Common responses: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
Avoidant Behaviors: Immediate efforts to eliminate anxiety (avoidance, rumination, compulsions) bring short-term relief but reinforce long-term anxiety.

“We want the uncertainty to go away...so we engage in these avoidant compulsions or avoidant behaviors. But what that does is it gets us some short-term relief, but it reinforces the fear and ... keeps you stuck in a long-term trap.” (01:38)

2. Understanding Mindfulness

Definition: Observing thoughts, feelings, and sensations non-judgmentally and with acceptance.
Key Benefit: Mindfulness creates lasting change by rewiring responses to fear, reducing triggers, and increasing emotional regulation.

“Mindfulness involves observing your thoughts and your feelings and your sensations...without judgment. ... It’s a long-term strategy and it helps you to rewire your response to fear.” (04:18)

3. The Role of Distraction: Short-Term Relief, Not a Cure

Potential Pros: Distraction can provide a temporary pause or relief, especially in moments of overwhelming distress, and sometimes can help someone “go back to” mindfulness.
Cons: Overuse reinforces avoidance and can block long-term recovery.

“The pros of distraction: it can provide temporary relief and help you get that pause so that you can move into mindfulness. ... The con here is it can reinforce avoidance, it can prevent long-term recovery.” (06:16)

4. HOW TO CHOOSE: Intensity & Timing Matter

Kimberley introduces a practical “graph” to guide choice:

Intensity Axis: From low (0/10) to high (10/10) anxiety.
Time Axis: From no time to lots of time.

Decision Making:

High Intensity + Plenty of Time: Prioritize mindfulness if possible; distraction may be used briefly if unable to access mindfulness.
High Intensity + No Time: Use distraction to get through the moment (e.g., getting on a plane), but shift to mindfulness when able.
Low Intensity: Always aim for mindfulness—best for long term; use the opportunity to practice “reps” of mindfulness.
Intention Matters: Is the goal to avoid anxiety forever or to functionally get through a challenge when no other tool is available?

“The distraction is only there to help you regulate enough so that you can come back to doing the mindful activity.” (08:37)

5. Common Misunderstandings: “Is Distraction Just Mindfulness?”

Overlap & Differences: Sometimes distraction (focusing on a crossword, Tetris, video, etc.) resembles mindfulness, but intention typically differs. True mindfulness means not pushing away discomfort, while distraction is often about escape.
Example: Boarding a plane when extremely anxious—sometimes the goal is just to "survive" the situation.

“Some people say, well, isn’t distraction mindfulness? Well, yeah, it can be, but I think the real difference is distraction is often done because you’ve got to, like, push your anxiety away.” (10:38)

6. Application to Specific Diagnoses

OCD: Distraction can act as thought suppression and often backfires (“what you resist persists”). Use only sparingly.
Health Anxiety: Distraction (e.g., doing a puzzle in the waiting room) can be functional if it helps complete necessary actions, but intention is key.
Panic Disorder: Distraction can help in acute moments but shouldn’t become the default, as avoidance reinforces panic.
Generalized Anxiety: Mindfulness is best; daily practice is encouraged even when not anxious.
Eating Disorders: Sometimes distraction helps during difficult exposures (eating challenging foods), but ideally, mindfulness is preferred unless over-focusing is an issue.
Depression: Distraction (often called “occupation” in DBT) can be helpful when depressive thinking is overwhelming, as a temporary break.

“With OCD and a lot of other conditions...if you’re trying to push [intrusive thoughts] away, if you’re trying to suppress them, you will actually end up having more of them.” (14:34)

“With depression...a lot of DBT therapists will encourage distraction. And we actually call it occupation.” (19:07)

7. Key Takeaway: Self-Compassion & Progress Over Perfection

Self-Compassion: There is no perfect application; both strategies have a place.
Don’t Get Stuck in Perfectionism: Striving for “the right” tool can itself cause distress.
Kimberley’s Philosophy: Aim for “B minus” effort, not an A+—real recovery is about progress, not perfection.

“We are not here to aim for perfect. ... Real recovery usually is around a B minus because that B minus helps manage the anxiety of having to be perfect.” (20:38)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Choosing Strategies:
- “Think of [distraction] as a life vest ... that you wear for the most emergent situation when you’ve got nothing else. And it’s okay to use it if it helps you to get through that moment so that you can get back on the horse and get back to your mindfulness skills.” (15:45)
On Intention:
- “If you need to use distraction for the sake of facing a fear or doing something that aligns with your values, that is functional and helps you function better in very short spurts, it’s okay, don’t be hard on yourself ...” (13:50)
Summing Up:
- “Both mindfulness and distraction can belong in your toolkit. ... Please do practice self compassion when you’re choosing your approach. ... We don’t need A pluses in recovery.” (20:08)

Timestamps for Key Segments

00:01 – Introduction: The anxiety cycle and why this topic matters
04:18 – What is mindfulness?
06:16 – Pros and cons of distraction
08:00 – The timing/intensity decision graph
10:38 – Nuance: When mindfulness isn’t possible, use distraction strategically
13:43 – Removing judgment from your coping skills (distraction = life vest analogy)
14:34 – OCD and thought suppression
15:45 – Distraction as a life vest; role in exposures
19:07 – Depression & “occupation” as functional distraction
20:08–20:38 – Final reminder: self-compassion and “B minus” effort in recovery

Conclusion

Kimberley Quinlan offers a balanced, compassionate perspective on mindfulness versus distraction for managing anxiety and panic. Mindfulness is generally the preferred, long-term solution for rewiring anxiety responses, but distraction has its rightful place as a "life vest" during moments of overwhelming distress—particularly when it helps you live in accordance with your values. The key is intention and self-compassion: use both tools wisely, avoid perfectionism, and focus on what helps you move forward rather than what is “correct” in the moment.

Resources & Further Support:
Visit cbtschool.com for practical courses on anxiety, OCD, depression, and more.

Transcript

A (0:01)

Now I'm wondering if this is familiar to you. You experience the onset of anxiety. You've heard all over social media, on YouTube, you've read books about mindfulness, you've heard about distraction techniques, and you're left so confused not knowing which one to use. But the problem with that is not only are you anxious, now you have even more anxiety and distress because you are confused about what is the quote, unquote right thing to do. So in this episode, my whole agenda is to help you to understand which is better for anxiety and panic. Is it mindfulness? Is it distraction? Let's get to it. Hello, my name is Kimberly Quinlan. I am an anxiety specialist. I help people all around the world manage their anxiety, get back to doing the thing that they love. And I am on a mission to do just two things. Number one, I want to reduce suffering and I want to increase the joy, the presence that you have in your life. So let's talk about this kerfuffle conundrum problem that we have when we experience anxiety. It is very important that you understand the anxiety cycle and this is true for any anxiety condition or any anxious experience that you have. You will first experience a trigger, something that triggers off your anxiety. It might be an internal trigger, might be an external trigger and then you will feel anxiety. Now what we tend to do when, when that happens is we go into fight, flight, freeze and fawn. They are the different ways in which we respond and we engage in avoidance, rumination. We might do compulsions or safety behaviors. Our goal is to get rid of that anxiety asap, right? We just want it gone, we want it sold. We want the uncertainty to go away and we want life back to normal. So we engage in these avoidant compulsions or avoidant behaviors. But what that does is it gets us some short term leave, but it reinforces the fear and it reinforces this idea that you constantly need to get rid of anxiety and it keeps you stuck in a long term trap. Now what we want to move towards today is when you have a trigger and you have anxiety, you then notice the urge to engage in avoidance or safety behaviors. But we're not going to do that, right? We're going to learn how to stop doing that. All of the courses that we have@cbt school.com are going to be teaching you how to intervene at this point. So we're going to work at reducing that and we're going to in that case, not get that short term relief. But the cool thing is we won't be reinforcing that long term trap. But that leaves you to wonder, what do I do instead? I don't want to be uncomfortable for the rest of my life. Well, no. We are going to give you some skills today that you can use so that when that anxiety does hit it, you know what to do and you know whether you want to use mindfulness or distraction. Now we're going to go through a bit of a pros and a cons list here today so that you can determine what's best for you based on the specific example and situation you're in. I'm going to go through some very, very specific examples. Okay, so let's talk about first. This is for anybody with anxiety. This is not just for generalized anxiety. This is going to be helpful for folks with ocd, health anxiety, phobias, social anxiety, health anxiety, any anxiety presentation. We'll even talk about how to use these two different skills for depression. And so I want you to just be thinking through whatever your specific situation is. How does this apply to me? So here we go, let's get into it. Let's first understand what is mindfulness. Let's get really clear on what it is so again, you can determine what's best for you. Mindfulness involves observing your thoughts and your feelings and your sensations and your urges and your images without judgment. So you're going to have no matter what thought you have, no matter what sensation you have, you are going to practice not judging it. That's key. It's also going to teach you how to practice allowing that sensation or that anxiety and you're going to be present with it without trying to get rid of it. Remember we talked about the cycle then in that cycle you're trying to get rid of it. But when we're using mindfulness, we're not resisting it, we're actually accepting of the discomfort. And last of all, it's a long term strategy. Mindfulness is a long term strategy and it helps you to rewire your response to fear. So the more you practice it, the more you train your brain not to go into that fight, flight, freeze and fawn. And it teaches it a sense of mastery over the anxiety. It doesn't mean you're not going to to have anxiety, but it helps you to have a response and a habitual response so that you're less triggered, you can stay more present and you can stay more regulated. Now on the contrast, distraction can provide temporary relief and function as a helpful pause. I know a lot of folks on the Internet are very against distraction and I'm not saying here that I'm all for distraction either. We're going to have a very balanced approach here. But what we want to know here is that the pros of destruction is it can provide temporary relief and help you get that pause so that you can move into mindfulness. Now when overused. Yes. The con here is it can reinforce avoidance, it can prevent long term recovery. And last of all, it's important to notice what is your intention behind the distraction. Is it a part of a larger recovery strategy or is it just an attempt, again like we were talking about before, to just remove anxiety and uncertainty as soon as possible? Okay, so before we move on, I want to get clear for you guys on the role of timing and intensity. We already know that the benefits of mindfulness far outweigh the benefits of distraction. That is going to be key for you moving forward. And we know as you have listened here on your anxiety toolkit there are so many skills you can use in the moment of panic and complete high level of distress. We have your mindfulness skills, your self compassion skills, the anxiety, your anxiety toolkit is a built out toolkit to help you have the skills that you can use. So I want to really get clear here that of all, of course, always we're going to be trying to use our mindfulness, but there is a time and a place for distraction and I want to go through with you this sort of goal or this sequence or strategy that might help you to determine when you may want to use it. So I want you to imagine a graph and on this graph at the very top is high intensity anxiety and the very bottom is low intensity anxiety. This is basically saying are you at a 0 out of 10 or a 10 out of 10? Now across the cross of this graph is have you got lots of time or have you got no time at all? This will also help you to determine which skill you use. Now what I want to really, really emphasize here is of course we're always going to go for using your mindfulness skills first. They have so much benefit. They are that long term recovery tool. It's staying present, it's staying non judgmental, it's being willing to feel your feelings. But I want to acknowledge to those folks there are times when you aren't willing and you don't want to feel anxiety and the anxiety is a 10 out of 10 and you can't even come up with a tool. You can't bring to mind one tool from your tool belt. It's completely gone out the window. And so in that case, let's just bring in some nuance here. So let's say you're in a high, intense situation, 10 out of 10 anxiety, and you've got tons of time, preferably you're going to move into your mindfulness. Now, if you have no capacity to be mindful, yes, you can rely on some distraction. But I want you to think of this mindfulness distraction combo as sort of like the distraction. And when I talk about distraction, I'm talking about, like, putting your attention on something. The distraction is only there to help you regulate enough so that you can come back to doing the mindful activity. And you might want to slow it all down. Sometimes when we have anxiety, we speed up. You want to slow it down so you have more access to your prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain that can think through those skills and come up with strategies and skills and ideas that are effective. So we want to slow down so that we can prioritize it. But if you need to use distraction, let's say you're full, 10 out of 10. This is what we call a dialectical behavioral therapy skill. We might want to engage in some sort of distraction to help you get regulated so you can go back to doing your exposure or doing that scary thing. Okay, so again, I'm not here to completely say you're naughty, naughty girl and boy for using distraction. There will be times when you're at that high intensity where you may want to, you know, teeter into using it if you're unable to use your mindfulness. Now, we also have on that graph that when it's high intensity, but you've got literally zero time in that moment, you've got to get on the plane or get on the elevator or walk out and give that presentation. You've got nothing, nothing. You've got no time but to get out there and do that scary thing. Well, in that case, yes, I'm going to let you encourage you to use some distraction or on that thing you're doing and manage it with whatever skill you can. And you're going to do that in spurts, right? So you're going to do it, but you're going to try to bring in your mindfulness as best as you can. Now, some people say, well, isn't distraction mindfulness? Well, yeah, it can be, but I think the real difference is distraction is an. Is often done because you've got to, like, push your anxiety away. You've got to, like, completely bring your attention to this thing. I always think about, like, my Husband. He's been on the podcast, he's talked about his flight anxiety. In those moments when he's boarding, he's like, I'm not gonna. I haven't got the capacity to be mindful. I just have to like, stare at the back of that plane. And I just need to get myself there. And it doesn't matter what happens. I don't care if I'm using skills or not. I've just got to get myself on there. And that's okay. That's the definition of a distraction. But again, we're only going to do that in very, very, very short spurts. We're going to use it very, very. But I don't want to make you feel like distraction is a big bad thing. Okay, now the next option here is, let's say you've got low intensity of anxiety, but you've still got no time. Well, I'm going to say if your anxiety is at a low level, 100%, I want you to be aiming for that mindfulness. Usually when anxiety is low, we have a much better connection with prefrontal cortex. We have a much better connection with the skills and we can access them better, we can regulate ourselves better. And in that case, absolutely focus on your mindfulness. Use it as an opportunity to do those reps. And mindfulness practice takes reps. Guys, it's not something you do 20 times and you're like, great, I'm so good. Now. I don't have anxiety and I'm completely free of any kind of avoidant distractions and any avoidant compulsions and I'm just good. No, this is a practice that you practice over and over and over and over again. Now the next part of the graph, which is final part, which is it's a very low intensity and you've got tons of time to practice. Of course we want mindfulness. Again, this is an opportunity for you to practice this skill.