← Your Anxiety Toolkit - Practical Skills for Anxiety, Panic & Depression
Your Anxiety Toolkit - Practical Skills for Anxiety, Panic & Depression
473 Mindfulness vs. Distraction: Which is Better for Anxiety & Panic? (A Therapist Explains)
00:23:08
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Now I'm wondering if this is familiar to you. You experience the onset of anxiety. You've heard all over social media, on YouTube, you've read books about mindfulness, you've heard about distraction techniques, and you're left so confused not knowing which one to use. But the problem with that is not only are you anxious, now you have even more anxiety and distress because you are confused about what is the quote, unquote right thing to do. So in this episode, my whole agenda is to help you to understand which is better for anxiety and panic. Is it mindfulness? Is it distraction? Let's get to it. Hello, my name is Kimberly Quinlan. I am an anxiety specialist. I help people all around the world manage their anxiety, get back to doing the thing that they love. And I am on a mission to do just two things. Number one, I want to reduce suffering and I want to increase the joy, the presence that you have in your life. So let's talk about this kerfuffle conundrum problem that we have when we experience anxiety. It is very important that you understand the anxiety cycle and this is true for any anxiety condition or any anxious experience that you have. You will first experience a trigger, something that triggers off your anxiety. It might be an internal trigger, might be an external trigger and then you will feel anxiety. Now what we tend to do when, when that happens is we go into fight, flight, freeze and fawn. They are the different ways in which we respond and we engage in avoidance, rumination. We might do compulsions or safety behaviors. Our goal is to get rid of that anxiety asap, right? We just want it gone, we want it sold. We want the uncertainty to go away and we want life back to normal. So we engage in these avoidant compulsions or avoidant behaviors. But what that does is it gets us some short term leave, but it reinforces the fear and it reinforces this idea that you constantly need to get rid of anxiety and it keeps you stuck in a long term trap. Now what we want to move towards today is when you have a trigger and you have anxiety, you then notice the urge to engage in avoidance or safety behaviors. But we're not going to do that, right? We're going to learn how to stop doing that. All of the courses that we have@cbt school.com are going to be teaching you how to intervene at this point. So we're going to work at reducing that and we're going to in that case, not get that short term relief. But the cool thing is we won't be reinforcing that long term trap. But that leaves you to wonder, what do I do instead? I don't want to be uncomfortable for the rest of my life. Well, no. We are going to give you some skills today that you can use so that when that anxiety does hit it, you know what to do and you know whether you want to use mindfulness or distraction. Now we're going to go through a bit of a pros and a cons list here today so that you can determine what's best for you based on the specific example and situation you're in. I'm going to go through some very, very specific examples. Okay, so let's talk about first. This is for anybody with anxiety. This is not just for generalized anxiety. This is going to be helpful for folks with ocd, health anxiety, phobias, social anxiety, health anxiety, any anxiety presentation. We'll even talk about how to use these two different skills for depression. And so I want you to just be thinking through whatever your specific situation is. How does this apply to me? So here we go, let's get into it. Let's first understand what is mindfulness. Let's get really clear on what it is so again, you can determine what's best for you. Mindfulness involves observing your thoughts and your feelings and your sensations and your urges and your images without judgment. So you're going to have no matter what thought you have, no matter what sensation you have, you are going to practice not judging it. That's key. It's also going to teach you how to practice allowing that sensation or that anxiety and you're going to be present with it without trying to get rid of it. Remember we talked about the cycle then in that cycle you're trying to get rid of it. But when we're using mindfulness, we're not resisting it, we're actually accepting of the discomfort. And last of all, it's a long term strategy. Mindfulness is a long term strategy and it helps you to rewire your response to fear. So the more you practice it, the more you train your brain not to go into that fight, flight, freeze and fawn. And it teaches it a sense of mastery over the anxiety. It doesn't mean you're not going to to have anxiety, but it helps you to have a response and a habitual response so that you're less triggered, you can stay more present and you can stay more regulated. Now on the contrast, distraction can provide temporary relief and function as a helpful pause. I know a lot of folks on the Internet are very against distraction and I'm not saying here that I'm all for distraction either. We're going to have a very balanced approach here. But what we want to know here is that the pros of destruction is it can provide temporary relief and help you get that pause so that you can move into mindfulness. Now when overused. Yes. The con here is it can reinforce avoidance, it can prevent long term recovery. And last of all, it's important to notice what is your intention behind the distraction. Is it a part of a larger recovery strategy or is it just an attempt, again like we were talking about before, to just remove anxiety and uncertainty as soon as possible? Okay, so before we move on, I want to get clear for you guys on the role of timing and intensity. We already know that the benefits of mindfulness far outweigh the benefits of distraction. That is going to be key for you moving forward. And we know as you have listened here on your anxiety toolkit there are so many skills you can use in the moment of panic and complete high level of distress. We have your mindfulness skills, your self compassion skills, the anxiety, your anxiety toolkit is a built out toolkit to help you have the skills that you can use. So I want to really get clear here that of all, of course, always we're going to be trying to use our mindfulness, but there is a time and a place for distraction and I want to go through with you this sort of goal or this sequence or strategy that might help you to determine when you may want to use it. So I want you to imagine a graph and on this graph at the very top is high intensity anxiety and the very bottom is low intensity anxiety. This is basically saying are you at a 0 out of 10 or a 10 out of 10? Now across the cross of this graph is have you got lots of time or have you got no time at all? This will also help you to determine which skill you use. Now what I want to really, really emphasize here is of course we're always going to go for using your mindfulness skills first. They have so much benefit. They are that long term recovery tool. It's staying present, it's staying non judgmental, it's being willing to feel your feelings. But I want to acknowledge to those folks there are times when you aren't willing and you don't want to feel anxiety and the anxiety is a 10 out of 10 and you can't even come up with a tool. You can't bring to mind one tool from your tool belt. It's completely gone out the window. And so in that case, let's just bring in some nuance here. So let's say you're in a high, intense situation, 10 out of 10 anxiety, and you've got tons of time, preferably you're going to move into your mindfulness. Now, if you have no capacity to be mindful, yes, you can rely on some distraction. But I want you to think of this mindfulness distraction combo as sort of like the distraction. And when I talk about distraction, I'm talking about, like, putting your attention on something. The distraction is only there to help you regulate enough so that you can come back to doing the mindful activity. And you might want to slow it all down. Sometimes when we have anxiety, we speed up. You want to slow it down so you have more access to your prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain that can think through those skills and come up with strategies and skills and ideas that are effective. So we want to slow down so that we can prioritize it. But if you need to use distraction, let's say you're full, 10 out of 10. This is what we call a dialectical behavioral therapy skill. We might want to engage in some sort of distraction to help you get regulated so you can go back to doing your exposure or doing that scary thing. Okay, so again, I'm not here to completely say you're naughty, naughty girl and boy for using distraction. There will be times when you're at that high intensity where you may want to, you know, teeter into using it if you're unable to use your mindfulness. Now, we also have on that graph that when it's high intensity, but you've got literally zero time in that moment, you've got to get on the plane or get on the elevator or walk out and give that presentation. You've got nothing, nothing. You've got no time but to get out there and do that scary thing. Well, in that case, yes, I'm going to let you encourage you to use some distraction or on that thing you're doing and manage it with whatever skill you can. And you're going to do that in spurts, right? So you're going to do it, but you're going to try to bring in your mindfulness as best as you can. Now, some people say, well, isn't distraction mindfulness? Well, yeah, it can be, but I think the real difference is distraction is an. Is often done because you've got to, like, push your anxiety away. You've got to, like, completely bring your attention to this thing. I always think about, like, my Husband. He's been on the podcast, he's talked about his flight anxiety. In those moments when he's boarding, he's like, I'm not gonna. I haven't got the capacity to be mindful. I just have to like, stare at the back of that plane. And I just need to get myself there. And it doesn't matter what happens. I don't care if I'm using skills or not. I've just got to get myself on there. And that's okay. That's the definition of a distraction. But again, we're only going to do that in very, very, very short spurts. We're going to use it very, very. But I don't want to make you feel like distraction is a big bad thing. Okay, now the next option here is, let's say you've got low intensity of anxiety, but you've still got no time. Well, I'm going to say if your anxiety is at a low level, 100%, I want you to be aiming for that mindfulness. Usually when anxiety is low, we have a much better connection with prefrontal cortex. We have a much better connection with the skills and we can access them better, we can regulate ourselves better. And in that case, absolutely focus on your mindfulness. Use it as an opportunity to do those reps. And mindfulness practice takes reps. Guys, it's not something you do 20 times and you're like, great, I'm so good. Now. I don't have anxiety and I'm completely free of any kind of avoidant distractions and any avoidant compulsions and I'm just good. No, this is a practice that you practice over and over and over and over again. Now the next part of the graph, which is final part, which is it's a very low intensity and you've got tons of time to practice. Of course we want mindfulness. Again, this is an opportunity for you to practice this skill.
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Now, as you know, I have a private practice. I have six amazing therapists in Calabasas, California. However, we do not take insurance. Now, if you are looking for insurance covered OCD or BFRB treatment, I want to let you know about nocd. NOCD provides face to face live video sessions with specialized licensed OCD therapists. Now, their therapists use exposure and response prevention. We know this is the gold standard for ocd. So you can be absolutely confirmed that you're in the right place there.
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And they have a clinically proven app that helps you stay connected to your.
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Therapist and others who have OCD between sessions.
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So you'll always feel supported.
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Now, the cool thing is NOCD is available in all 50 US states and even internationally, and they accept most insurance plans, making it affordable and accessible.
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We love that.
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Now, if you think you might have OCD or you're struggling to manage your symptoms, you can book a free call.
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Just click the link in the show.
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Notes@Nocd.Com I am honored to partner with NOCD. I want to remind you that recovery is possible. Please do not forget that. Now, big hugs and let's get back to the show.
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But again, I'm here to take out the judgment because remember, being mindful is really about non judgment, taking the judgment out of distraction. You are allowed to engage in things if it helps you with this intention of doing the scary thing. Now, if you're saying, I'm going to distract and it's actually so that I never have to face my fear again, and I'm that's you walking directly away from your values. That's the opposite of what we're going for. If you need to use distraction for the sake of facing a fear or doing something that aligns with your values, that is functional and helps you function better in very short spurts, it's okay, don't be hard on yourself and please don't spend time going, which is which? Which one should I use? Should I use this one? Should I use that one? No, we don't want to do that. Okay, so that's the role of intensity and time. Now, okay, let's go back to looking at distraction. Consider it a life vest. A vest that you wear for the most emergent situation when you've got nothing else. And it's okay to use it if it helps you to get through that moment so that you can get back on the horse and get back to your mindfulness skills. I want you just to think of it that way. All right, so now let's really get a little deeper here. Let's look at practicing mindfulness versus distraction for a few different situations or conditions for folks with ocd. This is important to know if you're someone who has repetitive intrusive thoughts, feelings, sensations, urges, they're called obsessions, right? So they're very, very repetitive. You want to be careful with distraction because sometimes distraction is a form of thought suppression. And what we know with folks with OCD and a lot of other conditions we'll talk about here as well is when you have those intrusive thoughts, if you're trying to push them away, if you're trying to suppress Them, you will actually end up having more of them. You're actually feeding a cycle of what you resist persists. So remember that. That we want to be. Again, use distraction as sparingly as possible. Because again, thought suppression, the act of trying not to think about something, often will increase you thinking about it. Because think about it, if I'm trying not to think about an elephant, I'm going to think about an elephant in attempt to not think about an elephant, if that makes sense. And with ocd, that is very, very important component of your recovery. Now, with health anxiety, this is a case where I have heard some people say, oh, there's times when I'm sitting in the doctor's office, I am petrified. All I want to do is run away. And so, you know, I use quote, unquote, distraction. Maybe they do a crossword puzzle or they play some Tetris on their phone. And so what happens there is they're using quote, unquote, distraction to stay there so that they can get the thing that they need done. Now, again, is that distraction or are you just being mindful? I think that this is sort of like a. Just a competition on words. Like, it doesn't really matter. Again, I think, again, think of it through the lens of what is your intention while you're there. It doesn't matter whether we call it destruction or mindfulness. As long as you're willingly having the discomfort. You're allowing that discomfort to be there. You're not judging it as good or bad, and you're staying to fulfill the thing that keeps you healthy. Now, I've had clients who said, I'm about to go into surgery, I can't be mindful. I'm just going to practice destruction. I don't even care. Again, it doesn't matter if it helps you to get into that surgery. You'll get better with time and you've got to sort of, you win some, you lose some ultimately. But these are some examples of where people get really stuck. And I want to really be clear here that intention matters. But at the end of the day, we want to just be doing the thing that helps you move forward in your recovery. Let's talk about panic disorder. Again, distraction is another one of those conditions. You want to use distraction very, very rarely, if possible. Now, when we talk about panic disorder, we are talking about 10 out of 10 anxiety. So if you go back to the graph, yes, in that situation, you may need to distract. That is okay. But we want to, again, interact between distraction and going back to mindfulness as much as you can. Mindfulness is always going to get you better outcomes than if you use distraction. The thing to remember about panic disorder is panic disorder is often the fear of panic. And so if you are trying to avoid the panic, you're probably reinforcing that fear, making your panic disorder even stronger. Now, for folks with generalized anxiety, again, if you've got a generalized anxiety, please prioritize your mindfulness as much as you can. Things about money, finances, relationships. The more you can bring mindfulness into your day, the more regulated you would be. I'm a big believer on practicing mindfulness every day, even when you're not anxious, so that you manage your generalized anxiety better. Okay, we don't want to mindlessly scroll Internet just to try and avoid our generalized anxiety. That's not super helpful. Be as mindful and as kind as you can. Now with eating disorders, again, this is where it gets a little tricky. I remember when I had to do very big exposures for my eating disorder. I had to eat burritos, I had to eat fettuccine Alfredo, I had to eat cream, things I was really anxious about. And I'm not going to lie, there were times I did use a distraction while I was eating the fettuccine Alfredo. I might have been looking at a video on my computer or I might have watched a show. And yes, ideally it would have been better if I was more mindful of my discomfort. But again, being mindful doesn't mean you just focus on discomfort either. Only because that sometimes can be a part of the problem as well. You're over focusing on it. So again, this is sort of the nuance here. I want to bring a lot of nuance in there. And again, you decide as long as the behavior is moving you towards your long term recovery, that's all that matters. Now the last one I wanted to talk about is depression. Depression. You know, guys know our depression can be a big, big liar. It's going to tell you some horrible things, mean things about you and your future and the world around you. And ideally we're going to be using mindfulness. However, if you're in a big depressive episode, a lot of DBT therapists will encourage distraction. And we actually call it occupation. Occupation is where you put your attention on something away from your depression because otherwise all you're hearing is that, you know, horrible lie that depression tells you. And it can get us into, you know, feeling even, even worse. So there are some ways in which you may want to sort of like see saw back and forward or teeter totter between these these skills. Again, I keep stressing we want to of course prioritize mindfulness. Okay, so here are some things to remember. Both mindfulness and destruction can belong in your toolkit. Practicing mindfulness ahead of time can increase your capacity to choose wisely in that moment and be more regulated in that moment. And if you can, please do practice self compassion when you're choosing your approach. Because we are not here to aim for perfect. If you have searched this topic, if you're someone who is here because you've looked this up and you've come across this episode, it's a chance that you are pretty distressed about trying to sort of perfect your recovery. Perfect, getting it the right and making sure you're doing the right thing. And that's only going to create more anxiety for you. So we're not aiming for perfect here. I am a big believer in a B minus effort. Right. We don't need a pluses in recovery. Real recovery usually is around a B minus because that B minus helps manage the anxiety of having to be perfect. Okay, so thank you so much. I hope that really helped you understand the difference between mindfulness and distraction. I hope that you continue to prioritize your mindfulness skills. But again, do not get into the nitty gritty. Again, it's okay to have some fluctuations in your recovery. We're not expecting you to be perfect. Okay, head over to cbtschool.com if you want more resources. We have courses on generalized anxiety, ocd, depression, most of the conditions we have courses for. So go check them out. I'll see you in the next episode of youf Anxiety Toolkit. Please note that this podcast or any other resources from CBTSchool.com should not replace professional mental health care. If you feel you would benefit, please reach out to a provider in your area. Have a wonderful day and thank you for supporting CBTSchool.com Sam.