Author Charlie Sheen on Fail Better with David Duchovny

Summary

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Podcast Summary

Your Next Listen: Author Charlie Sheen on Fail Better with David Duchovny

Date: November 10, 2025
Host: David Duchovny
Guest: Charlie Sheen
Location: Recorded live at the 92nd Street Y

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Main Theme

This episode features David Duchovny in conversation with Charlie Sheen about Sheen’s new memoir, The Book of Sheen. The discussion explores themes of personal transformation, memory, addiction, creative ambition, and the process of writing a deeply honest book about a tumultuous life. The tone is candid and self-aware, blending humor with sincerity as both men reflect on artistic growth, recovery, and legacy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. On Enthusiasm, Persona, and Love

• Duchovny opens by sharing his admiration for Sheen’s unapologetic “life force” and the idea that audiences react to Sheen’s unfiltered enthusiasm (“the root of which is ‘to have God in you’”) (01:36).
• Sheen responds with humility and humor, navigating Duchovny’s philosophical musings with self-awareness (02:29).

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2. Why Write the Book Now?

• Duchovny: “Why now for this book? What made you feel like this was the time?” (03:00)
• Sheen: Says he needed distance from addiction and past versions of himself, describing the necessity of “perspective” that only years of sobriety could bring. He humorously notes that after getting sober, his kids literally “showed up” (03:31–04:36).

  “I couldn’t have written this at a year clean... when I finally put down the bottle, it’s like all my fucking kids showed up... not symbolically, metaphorically. No, like in my fucking house.” (03:31–04:36)

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3. The Puzzle of Memory

• Duchovny introduces the idea that memory is reconstructive (“not remembering the event, but the last time you remembered it”) and asks Sheen about excavating memories for the book (05:45–06:36).
• Sheen: Explains switching between “author and journalist” to confirm details, often consulting his parents and others for factual accuracy. Most notably, he needed help remembering the details of his own birth (06:36–07:22).

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4. Opening Line and Worldview

• Sheen: Shares he carried the book’s first line for years:

  “On September 3, 1965 in New York City at 10:58pm I was born dead. That’s how this thing starts, you know. Welcome to the book of Sheen.” (08:03)

• Duchovny: Reading the memoir, interprets Sheen as having "played with house money from the beginning"—surviving against the odds (08:35–08:53).
• Sheen: Attributes a stutter in childhood to the “umbilical strangulation” at birth, and frames the book as his truth, not a “tell-all” about others; “There were no scores to settle.” (10:17–12:00)

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5. On Style and Storytelling

• Duchovny: Praises Sheen as a “stylist” with a “Rat Packy” voice that feels authentic and conversational (13:45–14:49).

• Sheen: Admits he “winged it” stylistically, drawing inspiration from his father’s lingo and the rhythmic narration of Apocalypse Now (15:22–16:45).

• On wordplay and linguistics:

  • Sheen spells "fucking" as “fukken” (F, U, K, K, E, N) “because it hits harder” and feels right in his head (22:31–23:34).
  • He uses “dood” instead of “dude” for the same reason (24:26–24:58).

• Memorable quote:

  “I wanted it to feel like the reader was kind of in the room with me or at the small dinner party hearing this story.” (15:36)

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6. Creative Upbringing and the Malibu Circle

• Duchovny and Sheen discuss the unique neighborhood in Malibu that produced talents like Sean and Chris Penn, Rob Lowe, and others. Sheen’s close friendship with Chris Penn is evident, and his early forays into Super 8 filmmaking were shaped by their parents’ careers (27:18–30:38).
• The home movies—violent, crime-revenge-themed—were partly a reaction to seeing his father often killed off in film roles (31:03–31:59).
• Sheen: Some films will feature in an upcoming Netflix documentary directed by Andrew Renzi (32:03–32:18).

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7. Acting, Naturalism, and Parental Influence

• Sheen tells a story where, as a teen, he read lines for an audition with his father, Martin Sheen. Martin, recognizing his son’s naturalism, told him, “Just do exactly that,” marveling that Charlie had achieved at 19 what took Martin 30 years to learn (34:20–34:47).

  “If it took him 30 years to learn not, you know, to do nothing…” (35:42)

• Discusses the idea that true acting is about not acting, a lesson Martin Sheen tried to instill early (36:00-36:40).

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8. Failures, Competition, and Ambition

• Duchovny: “This podcast is called Fail Better. You didn’t fail.”
• Sheen: “But I failed my way out of high school... and I failed my way out of...out of...baseball.” (37:04–37:22)
• Ambition for Sheen wasn’t fame or awards:

  "I wanted to be consistently employed...to be in films I’d like to watch." (38:08–39:34)

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9. Addiction, Sobriety, and Fatherhood

• Duchovny raises the Gabor Maté framing: not “what’s wrong with drugs,” but “what did they initially give you?”
• Sheen:

  “I think it gave me just a little bit of distance, just a little bit of a barrier from...this.” (45:54)
  He notes a strong early sexual component but ultimately, “the most difficult drug...was booze.” He describes chasing the “first hour of drinking”—but realizing the damage lay in the hours following (47:37–47:56).

• On quitting drinking: The catalyst was not shame or external intervention, but a moment with his daughter Sam:

  "There was only one thing that felt worse than betraying myself. And that was failing my children. In that car, on that day...I joined Sam in those mirrors and saw a guy who was desperate to finally come home for real...Sam wasn’t my final straw. She was my first harvest." (50:03–53:57)
  [Read aloud at 50:03–53:57]

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10. Audience Q&A and Reflections

• Biggest career influence? “Apocalypse—hands down.” (54:26–54:33)
• Do-over in life? “Fucking tattoos. No shit. HIV is easier to deal with than fucking tattoos. Can’t take a pill and make your fucking tattoos disappear.” (54:55–56:10)
• Good guy or bad guy?

  “I think I’m a good guy. Good guys sometimes do some bad things. But…the only way to stay a good guy is to own that shit.” (56:40–56:51)

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11. Closing Thoughts (Duchovny’s Reflection, Fail Better Outro)

• Duchovny underscores Sheen’s “humble unapologetic” mode, the risks of unfulfilled creative impulse, and how Sheen’s candor maps his journey from “crack torch lighting up porn on a computer screen” to creative and personal redemption.
• Duchovny:

  “What I loved about his book and about his demeanor is he’s unapologetic. Not in a defiant sense. Can you be humbly unapologetic? I think so. I think Charlie is.” (57:35)

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Notable Quotes

• Charlie Sheen:

  “On September 3, 1965 in New York City at 10:58pm I was born dead. That’s how this thing starts, you know. Welcome to the book of Sheen.” (08:03)

  "There was only one thing that felt worse than betraying myself. And that was failing my children...Sam wasn’t my final straw. She was my first harvest." (53:39)

  “Good guys sometimes do some bad things. But…the only way to stay a good guy is to own that shit.” (56:51)

• David Duchovny:

  “I think when I look at your performances and when I look at your life, I see that enthusiasm, that life force. And I think it’s very unapologetic and forceful, and I think that’s what people respond to with the kind of love that you’re feeling tonight…” (01:36)

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Memorable Moments with Timestamps

• Charlie shares his infamous opening line – 08:03
• Discussion about "fukken" spelling – 22:31
• Documentary footage and Malibu roots – 32:03
• Martin Sheen’s advice to young Charlie about acting – 34:20
• Raw reading about deciding to quit drinking for his daughter – 50:03–53:57
• Humorous regret about tattoos – 54:55
• “Good guy/bad guy” answer – 56:40

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Tone and Takeaways

The conversation is irreverent, intimate, and often moving. Sheen is open about regret, addiction, and new purpose, yet never seeks pity. Duchovny skillfully teases out both the gravity and comedy in Sheen’s story, resulting in a memoir about entering adulthood with “house money,” risking and nearly losing everything, and earning peace through creative honesty and fatherhood.

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Transcript

[Charlie Sheen]

It's morning in New York.

[David Duchovny]

Hey, everybody, I'm Andy Patinkin. And I'm Kathryn Grody. And we have a new podcast. It's called don't listen to us. Many of you have asked for our advice.

[Charlie Sheen]

Tell me what is wrong with you people.

[David Duchovny]

Don't listen to us. Our take it or leave it advice show is out every Wednesday, premiering October 15th. A Lemonada Media original foreign. Hey, just a quick message before we get started. You can now listen to every episode of Fail Better ad free with Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts. You'll also get ad free access to and exclusive bonus content from shows like Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis Dreyfus, the Sarah Silverman podcast, and so many more. It's just $5.99 a month and a great way to support the work we do. Go ad free and get bonus content when you hit subscribe on this show in Apple Podcasts. Make life suck less with fewer ads with Lemonada Premium.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you. Thank.

[David Duchovny]

Ah, well, welcome, Charlie.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That's really nice.

[David Duchovny]

Isn't it nice to show Charlie some love? Isn't it? Doesn't it feel good? There's something about Charlie that. That brings out the love in people. I believe. I believe. And. And one of the things I've been thinking about, and I said this before, is that like the word enthusiasm is. The root is a Greek word which means to have God in you. And I think when I look at your performances and when I look at your life, I see that enthusiasm, that life force. And I think it's very unapologetic and forceful, and I think that's what people respond to with the kind of love that you're feeling tonight, which I think you'll feel in response to this book.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah.

[Charlie Sheen]

I'm. I'm feeling.

[David Duchovny]

It's not really a question, is it?

[Charlie Sheen]

It's really not, no. But it felt like it was kind of yearning for a response.

[David Duchovny]

I don't know if I was yearning, but.

[Charlie Sheen]

No, it did. No, the question itself, the statement itself.

[David Duchovny]

You know, I do know what you're saying.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

But I also saw it. I see it in your work, the joy that you have in acting, you know, and I feel that that translates not just in acting, but also in life. That's all I was trying to say.

[Charlie Sheen]

I should have said begging for a response.

[David Duchovny]

My first question would be, why now for this book? What is it that made you feel like this was the time to write it? And what do you hope to accomplish, aside from people enjoying it and know, buying it and all that.

[Charlie Sheen]

But sure.

[David Duchovny]

Why now?

[Charlie Sheen]

It's a good question.

[David Duchovny]

You see, I don't like that response. Because.

[Charlie Sheen]

No, that's.

[David Duchovny]

That's that whenever I hate a question, I say, that's a good question.

[Charlie Sheen]

Well, it's. It. So you know that it's just a little trick to buy a little time. You know this. Yeah. He's not fooled by anything. I think I needed this much distance between that other life, those other versions of me. I don't think that I could have committed to this and delivered the type of focus and passion and discipline that it required unless I also had the distance of the perspective. I couldn't have written this at a year clean or off the booze. It just. And also, you know, when I finally put down the bottle, it's like all my fucking kids showed up, you know, like, not symbolically, metaphorically. No. Like in my fucking house.

[David Duchovny]

And so were there any that surprised you that were.

[Charlie Sheen]

No, no. That's a great question. Sorry. No, I recognized all of them and I. And knew all the names, you know, to boot. Yeah. So it turned into just an interesting daily grind of just sudden responsibility and, you know, having to answer the call, and it was amazing. So there was never a time to really be carved out, to sit down. Well, you've written seven books.

[David Duchovny]

Don't try and turn this on me.

[Charlie Sheen]

But no, I'm just using you as an example. Yeah. And so you had to have that space. You. You had that cone of silence. Right.

[David Duchovny]

Did you have the space? I had the psychic space is what you're saying, once you got sober.

[Charlie Sheen]

Right, Right.

[David Duchovny]

We're long enough sober.

[Charlie Sheen]

Right?

[David Duchovny]

Right. Okay, now you talk about memory too, Right. How did you feel? What was your relationship to your own memory at this point? I'm fascinated by memory in general, you know, and this theory that I heard recently, that when we remember something, we're actually not remembering the thing, but remembering the last time we remember.

[Charlie Sheen]

I've heard that. Yeah, I've heard that.

[David Duchovny]

So I wonder. And also because, you know, some of your life, I think, is probably cut off from you because you were altered in some way.

[Charlie Sheen]

Sure. Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

If not blacked out. So I wonder what your relationship to the excavating of those moments was. Were you surprised at any point by what you remembered? Did you remember more as you were trying to remember, or what was your state of mind when you. When you sat down and tried to recall?

[Charlie Sheen]

There was. There was. There were stories that I. That. That have stayed Intact throughout the journey and, and, and others that, and I'm sure you found this as a writer that, that you have to kind of switch between author and, and, and journalist and that's just not wanting to tell somebody else's version of that story. But maybe they'll have that missing detail or that missing piece that bridges a gap or just gets you to.

[David Duchovny]

So did you go out and you dad, I'm thinking about this story. Were you around for that or some other friend that might have been with you at that time? You say, hey, can you fill in the gaps of this thing for me?

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah, like with my parents, I, I, I needed their help with my birth.

[David Duchovny]

But it's interesting in more ways than one.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah, right, yeah. No, but it's interesting because I've heard their version of it for so long and then I, I, I, I still wanted to, for it to go well.

[David Duchovny]

Why don't you share that? Because, well, it's very interesting to me because you begin the book with that.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

And you can share with the people here. And I think it's very, it's an insight into your mindset about what comes after that moment.

[Charlie Sheen]

Okay, cool. I was actually walking around with that first line of the book for several years. I knew that was the jumping off point.

[David Duchovny]

What's that line?

[Charlie Sheen]

On September 3, 1965 in New York City at 10:58pm I was born dead. That's how this thing starts, you know. Welcome to the book of Sheen.

[David Duchovny]

Right?

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah, yeah. But that's all I have memorized. Did you want me to read that? Oh, you're saying just start with that story.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah, yeah, I see.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

No, I'm amazed that you got that. That's a great line.

[Charlie Sheen]

It's a pretty good line. Yeah. Ok, cool, cool.

[David Duchovny]

No, for me it was what I, what I was looking at when not only from that line, but having read the whole book is in many ways your perspective on life is you're playing with house money from the beginning.

[Charlie Sheen]

That's pretty much the case. Yeah. Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

Can you explain that? How you feel about having, as you say, been born dead and then how that you, you feel in the way that you're telling your story.

[Charlie Sheen]

People always say you got more lives than a cat. Right, Right. And they, they come in at nine or something, right? Nine.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah.

[Charlie Sheen]

So I already got, that's it. That's already eight. Yeah, we're already at eight.

[David Duchovny]

Right.

[Charlie Sheen]

So I don't know how much that influenced a lot of the behavior or, or the devil may care sort of. You Know the more.

[David Duchovny]

But you feel it was in you always. It's this kind of legend of you in your mind. This is my self, this is my destiny in a way that I am living a life with house, money in a way that I should.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yes. And it was also connected to, because it was an umbilical strangulation. So it was connected to being cut off from what I call the switcheroo moment when you need, you know, air, fluids and speech.

[David Duchovny]

I believe that's the medical term, the switch.

[Charlie Sheen]

It is a switcheroo moment. Yes, it is. Yeah. But because of that, that, that constriction on, on arrival, I developed a stutter as a child.

[David Duchovny]

You, you directly.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

And trace it to the umbilical.

[Charlie Sheen]

I, I, I, that, that's what I attribute it to. And that's, and, and, and I say there's a line, something about, you know, those are the facts. How I, how I choose to interpret or deconstruct them falls entirely on me.

[David Duchovny]

Right.

[Charlie Sheen]

You know, so.

[David Duchovny]

Well, you say these are your stories, these are facts, these are your stories.

[Charlie Sheen]

My stories.

[David Duchovny]

These are what you are writing with what you can remember with what you've researched.

[Charlie Sheen]

Right.

[David Duchovny]

And it's your slant on it. It's not a tell all. And what's so interesting to me about it is it's not vindictive at all. There's no animus against any other person in the book.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you.

[David Duchovny]

Even yourself.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you.

[David Duchovny]

Which I really appreciate.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you.

[David Duchovny]

Not just your gentleness with other people.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you.

[David Duchovny]

But your gentleness with yourself. And that's when I get back to the love that people have for you. I think it's part and parcel of the same thing, that it's your attitude towards the world that comes through in that. Again, not a question.

[Charlie Sheen]

No, I know, I know. Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

And again, not begging for anything.

[Charlie Sheen]

Okay. Okay. I don't think, I think we've both read books where people do that, where they take others to task. And I'm, and I'm reading it going, you know, you're probably going to run into him. You're going to see him. You know, if I see him first, I'm going to let him know. Yeah, let him know that, that you've shed all over him in this, you.

[David Duchovny]

Know, so was there ever a discussion with your editor or in your mind, okay, well, let's tell some Hollywood stories that are not about me or that, that involve me, but reflect poorly on somebody else?

[Charlie Sheen]

No, because I worked really closely with Amy Bell. I think you've worked with her as well. Yeah. And she's an absolute rock star. I think she's here somewhere. Hi, Amy. And so I think we both discovered early on that that just wasn't the vibe. It didn't lend itself to that. It didn't feel like there was scores to settle. There were no scores to settle. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's. What I couldn't keep doing was make it seem like, oh, every set was a flowery experience. Everyone just loved each other. And then, you know, we still, you know, it was a hug off at the premiere. So there are. There's a couple things in there, just on set stuff with a couple people, but it's just. It's just, you know, retelling some of the details of why maybe the experience wasn't so great for me. And, you know, what Amy always stressed is just as long as you're still in the frame, you have to always be in the frame. So it never feels like we've, you know, we're here to tell someone else's tales, you know?

[David Duchovny]

Well, I'd also like to say, and when you all get a chance to read it, you'll see this. That you're a stylist. You're actually a writing stylist. And I. I believe you're. You're a very talented writer.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you. And I thank you. Yeah. So wait, but. So you're all holding the book for the first time.

[David Duchovny]

Well, they might have read a little bit.

[Charlie Sheen]

Okay.

[David Duchovny]

And they're responding.

[Charlie Sheen]

We were. We were a little late. Yeah. Okay.

[David Duchovny]

They know the first line.

[Charlie Sheen]

They know the first line. They know the first line.

[David Duchovny]

But I. When I was reading it, even your line, like, just now, the switcheroo, you have. You're like, kind of almost like a 50s slang, which I dig.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you.

[David Duchovny]

It's very. Like a hep cat, a little bit like Brat Packy almost. Not Brat Packy. Rat Packy, actually.

[Charlie Sheen]

Right, right. Thank you.

[David Duchovny]

And I wonder if you have a love for that era.

[Charlie Sheen]

It's kind of the lingo. The lingo. But it's just stuff I picked up from my dad over there.

[David Duchovny]

Oh, okay.

[Charlie Sheen]

That was just. Maybe it's, you know, an homage to his. Yeah, but that's the kind of household that we grew up in, you know, We. We.

[David Duchovny]

It was a swinging household.

[Charlie Sheen]

It was a swinging household, man. Yeah. There was always a beat.

[David Duchovny]

But I'd also say there's a film noir element to your attitude if I was to. To call it a movie.

[Chelsea Clinton]

Right.

[David Duchovny]

But also, I feel like there's a Hunter Thompson Thing going on. I don't know if you're a fan of his.

[Charlie Sheen]

Just the obvious stuff. I mean, I don't know anything beyond.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah, I just know the obvious stuff as well. But there's a kind of eyewitness. Unblinking but hip and cool. Just the facts. But the facts are crazy. And I think you really. Your style is really your own as well. I'm just trying to. I guess I'm trying to ask if you had modeled it on any other style or you just. You were just winging it.

[Charlie Sheen]

I was pretty much winging it. And then I would. I don't know how to explain this. I'd be pleased with something, how it turned out.

[David Duchovny]

I just love that about you.

[Charlie Sheen]

I was pleased with something that I had written, and I was like, hey, that sounds pretty damn good. Right? And it's not an arrogance thing. It's just like. It's an accomplishment thing. That was just, like, one chapter, you know, I was like, okay, I should keep doing more of that, you know, But I wanted it to feel like the reader was kind of in the room with me or at the small dinner party hearing this story. And then, you know, one of. Just as far as rhythm, something that was. That really was such an influence growing up is the narration from Apocalypse. And so there's literally things in there where you can feel a similar rhythm. There's, you know, anytime I write, and that was. Okay, that's. That's. That's Michael Ayer, you know, and so I don't mind borrowing that because I haven't read many biographies or memoirs or autobiographies. I've read, like, Number One by Billy Martin and Reggie by Reggie Jackson, and read him as a kid and, you know, and actually became friends with Reggie. That was kind of cool.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah, I know.

[Charlie Sheen]

Knew a little bit about him when I met him.

[David Duchovny]

Right.

[Charlie Sheen]

So. But yeah, so I wasn't. I wasn't influenced by any other styles. And I just. I wanted to write in a way how I might tell a story, but also how I'd like to read something. Is that terribly egotistical? Is that like.

[David Duchovny]

No.

[Charlie Sheen]

Is that narcissistic? I've never been accused of that description. Seriously. Like, ever.

[David Duchovny]

Let's say it's narcissistic in the best way.

[Charlie Sheen]

In the best way. So there's a good version of narcissism.

[David Duchovny]

I can only hope.

[Charlie Sheen]

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Oh.

[David Duchovny]

And I mean, any artist has got to be narcissistic. You have to think that you have something to give that people want to Watch you or they want to listen to you. So that's. There's narcissism to it.

[Charlie Sheen]

Okay, okay.

[David Duchovny]

But, but when you, when you describe that moment of, of thinking, oh, I like what I just read. I. I very much relate to that kind of joyfulness in that moment. And I wonder when you got the galleys. You know, there's that moment when the book is actually a physical thing. And I remember when my first one came to me like that. It was this amazing feeling of just like, here it is. It exists at the world. You know what I'm saying?

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

Did you have a similar moment like that?

[Charlie Sheen]

I did, I did, yeah. It was really surreal because suddenly it was the first. Cause it's, you know, I'm sending the chapters and I'm printing stuff and everything. There's notes everywhere, and it's just. It's all kind of, you know, like the desk of a 60s newspaper editor, you know, and. But to hold it actually as a book, you know, even though it wasn't the Book of Sheen, but to hold it just in that form, it was. It felt like, wow, okay, this is. All of that, all of the work and all of the. Just the, the discipline and the focus and all those late nights, they all felt suddenly worth it.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah, I just tossed mine around just to see that it's got gravity.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it sounds like a book when it lands.

[David Duchovny]

Exactly.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah, yeah.

[David Duchovny]

Put it by the toilet to see if it reads. Well, exactly.

[Charlie Sheen]

There it is.

[David Duchovny]

Were there any other titles for it? Was it always the Book of Sheen?

[Charlie Sheen]

It's interesting. That's what I delivered it as in that first meeting, you know, many, many moons ago. And it was in a. It was in a plastic three ring binder with a picture of me from those fake IDs with Chris Penn going to, you know, parlors in high school. Busted. And so, yeah, so that was kind of. That wasn't even like properly affixed or graphically attached to that. The thing I bought at cvs, Right. It had a little pocket, a secret pocket that I snuck the picture into.

[David Duchovny]

Oh, right, Yeah.

[Charlie Sheen]

I had to go to Kinko's and print eight of those.

[David Duchovny]

Right.

[Charlie Sheen]

And so how'd it work for you? It didn't sound like a book when I dropped it down, but yeah, and it did. It's just. It said the Book of Sheen on the front. And I thought they were going to see that and be like, that is that. Is that. Is that is dog shit, right? That title is dog shit.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah.

[Charlie Sheen]

And they didn't they said, okay, all right, hold on. It kind of means a couple of things at the same time. Yeah. You know.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah, yeah.

[Charlie Sheen]

And I think the play was sort of still cooking on Broadway. Book of Mormon. Oh, so don't, don't read anything into that. No, no. But just as far as the ring that, you know, the thing, the book of something. The book of that. Right.

[David Duchovny]

Sounds.

[Charlie Sheen]

No, but so they said, tell you what, let's just keep this as the working title until something beats it. Ah, so something eclipses it and nothing did. Yeah, the only one that I was sort of toying with. But then it, I think it was too right on the nose. Because the Book of Sheen isn't right on the nose, right? No, it was just no scars, no stories.

[David Duchovny]

Oh, are you, hold on. Are you having, are you having regrets?

[Charlie Sheen]

Did I just pre sale, Did I just pre sell the sequel?

[David Duchovny]

That's the paper, the paperback version.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

Let me, let me.

[Charlie Sheen]

But, but this, but that's, that's, that's sort of the, the, the theme of, of the material is no scars, no stories, you know, so why give that away, you know? Or why insist? That's what, that's what.

[David Duchovny]

How people don't want to tell them how to read it.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you. Thank you. Hey, you know, another thing I didn't want to do because I'll, I'll read a book occasionally on a Kindle or an iPad, right? And you know, maybe I don't get out enough. Maybe I spend too much time.

[David Duchovny]

I think you get out enough a little bit.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah. But when I'm looking up, like, every paragraph, like three or four words, when I'm like, saddled with, like, suddenly it's turned into an education, a thesaurus journey through hell. And I hate the fucking author by, like, page nine. Right. And so I, I, I really focused on not doing that stuff. You know what I'm saying? I just wanted it to be really accessible. You don't have to look up shit in my book. There's a couple, though, and I use switcheroo. Switcheroo. Yeah, but that explains itself.

[David Duchovny]

Well, you spell fucking in a really weird way.

[Charlie Sheen]

I do, I do.

[David Duchovny]

Why? Is that an Amy Bell ism? It's F, U, K, K, E, N. Yeah. And it's all over this book.

[Charlie Sheen]

It is. Well, there's only, there's only 103 of them.

[David Duchovny]

Is that, is that right?

[Charlie Sheen]

I think maybe 102. Yeah, we didn't, we didn't it to pieces. But why, why, why spell it like that? Yeah, because it, it Gets you to the word. It's. It's setting up or describing faster Dave. Right. Fucking Dave Duchovny. Right. If I say fucking Dave, then it's like a different.

[David Duchovny]

No, no, I know. I understand. Fucking as opposed to fucking.

[Charlie Sheen]

Right, right, right.

[David Duchovny]

Why the double K?

[Charlie Sheen]

Because it. It's got a. It's got more. It's got more.

[David Duchovny]

It hits.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It comes out of a slingshot that way, you know, and it. Also. Not a wrist rocket, you know, the. The cheap one.

[David Duchovny]

I don't know what you're saying, but I get.

[Charlie Sheen]

But I think. No, and. And it's interesting because that's how I see the word in my mind.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah.

[Charlie Sheen]

And that's how it. It just sounds better in my mind. And then if I read it spelled wrong compared to that, then don't get the same effect. It doesn't have the same effect.

[David Duchovny]

I get it.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

So I. I applaud that.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you. But it's also how I. How I text is.

[David Duchovny]

Your phone has stopped trying to correct your I.

[Charlie Sheen]

There's a thing you can go into another menu where you can give it the word it thinks it is, and then you can make it spell yours. Oh, yeah, Can. Yeah. So I got.

[David Duchovny]

Did we know this? Did we learn something today?

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah, you can. You can. You can trick it. I mean, you can. You can. You can bend it to your will as a feature, not as a. You know.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah, no, I. I was. I wasn't. I wasn't implying anything at all.

[Charlie Sheen]

And then you'll notice dude is different.

[David Duchovny]

Dude is D, O O D, O, O, D. Yeah.

[Charlie Sheen]

It just feels dude because. Because people. Because I'll. I'll write, like, long dudes to people just as like, if they give me. If they tell me something that's pretty gnarly or pretty funny or I'm just like dud people that write it with all the U. You lose the dude about five years in, right? The ew doesn't. It doesn't flatten. It doesn't.

[Chelsea Clinton]

Well, this.

[David Duchovny]

This is what I mean, that I think you're a stylist. I really do.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you.

[David Duchovny]

I think so.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you.

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[David Duchovny]

If we can go back before writing to you as an actor, and I don't know if people know, but the, the neighborhood that you grew up in, in Malibu was like a hotbed of terrific actors. You grew up with Sean Penn, Chris Penn, very good friends with Rob Lowe. Right. All in the same.

[Charlie Sheen]

And his brother Chad.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah, Chad. All in the same neighborhood. So there's something in the water in Malibu. Yeah, that's good for that. But you guys, you were making home movies with Chris Penn, who was a terrific actor.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah, he was. He. He was, he was, he was a great, special talent. Yes. Yeah. And a lovely dude.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah. The love you have for him comes across very clearly.

[Charlie Sheen]

Good, good. Yeah. And, and I, I haven't. And I'm. A lot of. That was written out of love for Sean.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah.

[Charlie Sheen]

I wanted Sean to really read, you know, how. How much his brother meant to me, you know?

[David Duchovny]

Yeah, yeah.

[Charlie Sheen]

And, and I was tempted to go to Sean and read him stuff as I was creating and I was like, no, man, that's, you know, that's, that's not. Probably not how Chris would have handled it. He would have walked in and just here it is, you know? Yeah, but, yeah, so, so that, that, that's nice that, that you highlight that because. Yeah, so that, that, that comes off the page nicely.

[David Duchovny]

Okay, it fucking does, dude. But obviously you come from a family of actors, right? Your father, Martin, your brother Emilio. So this is all happening in Malibu, which is a small town. It's hard to describe. And when you were growing up in, it was not even really a town, it was a, A backwater of la, Right, Yeah. So when you start taking these home movies, you talk about how you got in this camera and this was your passion. You all discovered at the same time.

[Charlie Sheen]

We did, yeah.

[David Duchovny]

What was your ambition as an actor? Even as a little kid? What did you think you were doing? What did you want to do? And then how did that transform as you became successful, as you became able to get jobs that would really stretch you and push you and satisfy that ambition?

[Charlie Sheen]

The Super 8 filmmaking started out just as a hobby because, you know, growing up in Malibu, but never surfing, never even try, never even attempting it, like boogie boarded like twice. It's just not my. It's not.

[David Duchovny]

It wasn't for you?

[Charlie Sheen]

Well, no, I mean, I saw jaws as a 10 year old, 100 times in a theater, you know, so where's the one place you can't get attacked by a shark?

[David Duchovny]

I don't know.

[Charlie Sheen]

On dry land, so.

[David Duchovny]

Right, yeah, yeah, you make a good point.

[Charlie Sheen]

So making the movies was just something that, you know, everybody was surfing or skateboarding or doing other stuff and we just found it as just a way to just kind of emulate or mimic or copy what our, what our parents were doing. Because the Pen parents were an actor and a director couple and had been doing it for decades. And so the two houses that it kind of bounced between, you know, Casa Pen and our place is really where that all goes.

[David Duchovny]

Penn Stavez Film Is that Penn Stavez Films Presents?

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah, yeah.

[David Duchovny]

And what were some of these early films? Can you, can you describe the plot of them?

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah, I mean, they weren't super complicated plot wise. We would establish a crime early on, a bad guy and. And then they spent the rest of it just somebody seeking revenge. So.

[David Duchovny]

Well, that's, that's actually most movies.

[Charlie Sheen]

Most movies, it's most movies, yeah. There was never a love story.

[David Duchovny]

Well, you were a kid.

[Charlie Sheen]

Well, we didn't have any girls like in the movies, you know, so. Yeah, but, but if you think about the kind of stuff my dad was doing like in the mid-70s, you know, even the movies of the week, even some of the features, they were really violent. And so we, we got accustomed to, you know, the movie of the week. And you know, if dad's alive in the, in the third act, we know it's like just a matter of, you know, five or ten minutes he gets lit up. So we watched him die a lot. We watched dad die a lot, you know.

[David Duchovny]

You know, that's funny because when I started acting, my mother, she said all she wanted to know was, do you get killed and do you get naked? And if either of those or both of those things happened, she didn't want to see it.

[Charlie Sheen]

Interesting. Wow.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah.

[Charlie Sheen]

Wow.

[David Duchovny]

But so you.

[Charlie Sheen]

So I'm saying that that's what led to the Super Eights being so violent.

[David Duchovny]

Right.

[Charlie Sheen]

It's like our.

[David Duchovny]

You have them. Access to them. Can you.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

You ever share them?

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah, no, the first time. A lot of them are going to be seen is. Is in the documentary. Oh, on Netflix. Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah. So it's a crazy treasure.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah. Thank you.

[David Duchovny]

It's.

[Charlie Sheen]

It's. And it's.

[David Duchovny]

The.

[Charlie Sheen]

The director, Andrew Renzi, in the documentary, found a way to just, you know, put it into this. And he made it so much a part of the story, and it's not just bolted on, it's there for a reason, you know, and for these to have never been seen outside of family and friends. Right. For so long, I think this is the perfect place for them to finally be put on full display.

[David Duchovny]

What was your emotional reaction when you went back to look at them again? What was that like?

[Charlie Sheen]

It was. I mean, I couldn't believe how bad they were.

[David Duchovny]

Right.

[Charlie Sheen]

But I also, I, I was, I, I, I was always looking in the background. I was looking for.

[David Duchovny]

Yes.

[Charlie Sheen]

All the houses that.

[David Duchovny]

Like home movies. They were home movies.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah. Yeah. It was just kind of a. Just a, you know, archival.

[David Duchovny]

Like a window.

[Charlie Sheen]

Geography study. Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

Right.

[Charlie Sheen]

Now, it was a trip, but.

[David Duchovny]

So.

[Charlie Sheen]

We never really had the kind of resources to do substantial productions. You know, we were reliant on whatever dad would kick in or what the pen parents would. Eileen and Leo, what they would kick.

[David Duchovny]

In terms of props or wardrobe.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah, yeah. Which basically, you know, our prop department was, you know, blank guns. Blanks and blood.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah.

[Charlie Sheen]

It was about it and whoever was available on the day.

[David Duchovny]

Right, right, right. But as you got older and as you started to see that this might be something you wanted to do, act, did you have. There's a great part in the book where Charlie is. I don't know where you are with your dad, but it's early in your career and you've got an audition and you read the scene with your dad and you go through it one time, and your dad goes, stop.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

He goes, just do exactly that. And then your dad says, he's doing what? It took me 30 years to figure out how to do correct at 18. At 17.

[Charlie Sheen]

19.

[David Duchovny]

19.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

And what I took that to mean was just your naturalism. You know, your dad's coming from a different time. He's kind of bridging from, you know, from before Brando to after Brando.

[Charlie Sheen]

Sure.

[David Duchovny]

So he's coming from like more presentational style to a naturalistic style. You show up at 19 years old and you've already gotten that what it took him the 30 years to do. And I just thought that was an amazing story to have in the book.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah, thank you. That, that, that, that was in the limo. Coming back from a two on one competition, dad and I against Michael Jordan, which is in the doc. And I don't want to give too much away because it's really presented nicely in the doc. So coming back from that sounds like bullshit, Charlie. Well, I know, I know, I know. And it's all, you know, it's all on video, so. And, and the scene we're working on is for Ferris Bueller, so. Yeah, talk about a mash up of some pretty gnarly stuff. Right?

[David Duchovny]

But how did you feel when he said that to you? How did you process that?

[Charlie Sheen]

I didn't believe him. I didn't. Yeah, I didn't because I didn't feel. I mean, yeah, it's. It. If it took him 30 years to learn not, you know, to do nothing.

[David Duchovny]

Well, I mean, that sounds funny and it sounds, it's not as. It's not glib.

[Charlie Sheen]

No, it's not.

[David Duchovny]

It's very hard to not act.

[Charlie Sheen]

You're right. But I just wanted a couple, you know, at least to feel, maybe have something to first unlearn. Does that make sense? He was trying to blast me too far into the future with. And I get that the gifts he was trying to bestow were awesome and this and that, but I just felt like my experience hadn't earned the right to be anything close to his yet. Obviously. Yeah, well, sure, but I loved him for the advice, you know, but. But I did take it for that.

[David Duchovny]

You understood it.

[Charlie Sheen]

I understood it. Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah. And I went back and I watched that scene, actually, and, and you were. You're riveting in that scene. And I remember, I remember watching the movie and this isn't bullshit. I remember thinking, who the fuck is that guy?

[Charlie Sheen]

Right on. Thank you.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah. That was you?

[Charlie Sheen]

That was me, yeah.

[David Duchovny]

What then became the ambition? What did you want to do because you came out of high school?

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

This podcast that I do is called Fail Better. You didn't fail. You came out of high school. You started booking jobs left and right.

[Charlie Sheen]

But I failed my way out of high school, and I. And I failed my way out of. Out of.

[David Duchovny]

I will accept that.

[Charlie Sheen]

And I failed. I. I failed at baseball.

[David Duchovny]

Well, I mean, you're a good. You're a good pitcher. Yeah, yeah, pretty good. I mean, you're not a pro, but that's not really failing. No, people.

[Charlie Sheen]

But I'm saying it didn't feel like. Like those are the. Like that was the thing that I. That I really thought I might have had a chance to do to.

[David Duchovny]

So you really wanted to be a pro pitcher for a while?

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah. Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

But wait, let me finish.

[Charlie Sheen]

Sorry.

[David Duchovny]

I just wanted to know what you thought you wanted to do, you know, if you. Once you gave up baseball, once you gave up whatever the other dreams were as an actor. Because I think you're competitive, right? You're a competitive guy. You say that in the book, right? Well, what was that competition for? What did you want? Did you want fame? Did you want money? Did you want awards? Or was there an acting ambition also?

[Charlie Sheen]

I. I wanted access. I wanted access to what you're wondering.

[David Duchovny]

Well, I didn't want to cut you.

[Charlie Sheen]

Off because I'm like, no, I wanted.

[David Duchovny]

I am wondering.

[Charlie Sheen]

I wanted an opportunity to explain the same things that I was watching Emilio do, like, right over there, because he was. He started professionally acting when I was still in high school. And so then when I got tossed out, I would tag along with him. The stuff you read in the book, you know, and still was, was close to it, but never a part of it. And so that was the thing that. So the acting thing, the passion for it, I think I discovered as I started doing it, and as I got more comfortable or at least feeling like, okay, this is something that could have legs, you know, this is something I think that. And it's not. You know, I just wanted to be consistently employed. I just wanted to pay the bills and be in stuff that. Be in films that I'd like to watch, you know, and then, well, you know, suddenly that. That one thing happens and you're in a much different place than you could have ever envisioned or imagined or possibly hoped for.

[David Duchovny]

And are you still in touch with that part of yourself? Is there more that you are wanting to do?

[Charlie Sheen]

I'd like to get back in touch with it.

[David Duchovny]

How do you do that?

[Charlie Sheen]

I don't know.

[David Duchovny]

Okay.

[Charlie Sheen]

I don't know. Well, probably just by doing it.

[David Duchovny]

Maybe here.

[Charlie Sheen]

Probably just by doing it.

[David Duchovny]

But how long has it been since you acted?

[Charlie Sheen]

I mean, you consider sitcoms acting?

[David Duchovny]

Yes.

[Charlie Sheen]

Okay.

[David Duchovny]

Well, that. Oh, well, no, I think you're being disingenuous. Your work on that sitcom.

[Charlie Sheen]

Ah, you're very kind.

[David Duchovny]

I didn't say anything yet.

[Charlie Sheen]

I know, but the. The. The tone of it is very kind. The lead up, anyway.

[David Duchovny]

No, it's brilliant.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you. Thank you.

[David Duchovny]

I don't know that the show's brilliant, but I think you're brilliant. And that's true.

[Charlie Sheen]

It feels.

[David Duchovny]

Yes. You're alone.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you.

[David Duchovny]

Comically comic brilliance.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you. Thank you.

[David Duchovny]

Timing.

[Charlie Sheen]

Awesome timing that.

[David Duchovny]

Timing that.

[Charlie Sheen]

It feels more like a performer performance.

[David Duchovny]

Yes.

[Charlie Sheen]

Right. Than like anything you really have to.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah. It's not interior.

[Charlie Sheen]

It's not interior. Yeah, it's. It's a writer's medium. That's the thing. And.

[David Duchovny]

Okay, so let's say it's not acting. So when. When did you last feel like you acted?

[Charlie Sheen]

I can't. I. Jesus, I can't really remember.

[David Duchovny]

You just wrote a memoir.

[Charlie Sheen]

I know, I know. That's a good point. It would be. It would probably be. I mean, something like this still, like, matters to me or mattered at the time or felt like I was involved in something that was important.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah. I mean. I mean, kind of making light of it, but I think it's. I see. I see that you want to, and I would like you to. And I think these people.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you. No, I. I would like to as well, but, you know, writing the book was the most challenging job I've ever had.

[David Duchovny]

Really.

[Charlie Sheen]

And hands down, the most rewarding one. Hands down. Thank you.

[David Duchovny]

So you think so you'd like to continue to write?

[Charlie Sheen]

I mean, wherever it might take me. Sure. It was just incredible to have a job where I didn't have to get approval, that I didn't have to get, you know, somebody's blessing to keep content. Just, you know, it's just you and the. You, you and the page, you and the screen. And it's.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah.

[Charlie Sheen]

And it was. It was. It was a trip.

[David Duchovny]

And you were pleasing yourself, as you said. Well, that's not the clip, but.

[Charlie Sheen]

No, but we're. But we're tracking you. We're tracking you because, I mean, we've.

[David Duchovny]

You called yourself a people pleaser in the book.

[Charlie Sheen]

Of course. Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

But the people that you're pleasing when you're writing is you. Right. That's a big difference, I think. And I wonder if you can get to that as an actor as well. Maybe this has changed things in a way. Writing this changed your own response to yourself as a performer. Maybe. I don't know why I'm pushing this so hard. You know, if you want to write, you go ahead and write, and you've done a lot of great acting. You don't have to do anymore.

[Charlie Sheen]

Thank you.

[David Duchovny]

Thank you.

[Charlie Sheen]

But maybe I need to write the next thing I act in.

[David Duchovny]

Well.

[Charlie Sheen]

Maybe that, that's what's supposed to happen.

[David Duchovny]

You know, I will say this. I, I, I've only, I only met Charlie one time. I met you in the ice cream store. Remember that? Do you remember that?

[Charlie Sheen]

I do.

[David Duchovny]

It's not in the memoir.

[Charlie Sheen]

It's not? No.

[David Duchovny]

Charlie came up to me at an ice cream store, said something really nice to me, and my kid was there, my son was there, and he was like, hey, Charlie Sheen likes you. And I was like, charlie Sheen likes me.

[Charlie Sheen]

Oh, so it was a hero dad moment.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah.

[Charlie Sheen]

Nice.

[David Duchovny]

You gave it to me.

[Charlie Sheen]

Nice.

[David Duchovny]

In front of him. So thank you for that because I.

[Charlie Sheen]

Walked back to my daughter and she was like, who in the fuck is that? Sorry.

[David Duchovny]

That's it. And we're done.

[Charlie Sheen]

I'm sorry.

[James Corden]

Hello, I'm James Corden, and on my new show, this Life of Mine, I sit down each week with some of the most fascinating people on planet Earth. From Dr. Dre to Julianne Moore to David Beckham to Cynthia Erivo to Martin Scorsese to Jeremy Renner to Denzel Washington to Kim Kardashian. We talk about the people, places, possessions, music, and memories that made them who they are. These are intimate conversations full of stories that you've never heard before. This Life of Mine premieres October 21st. Wherever you get your podcasts.

[David Duchovny]

Here'S the questions.

[Charlie Sheen]

It didn't happen.

[David Duchovny]

Why are you such a dick? Oh, is it, Is it question time?

[Charlie Sheen]

Are these the.

[David Duchovny]

I hope so.

[Charlie Sheen]

Oh, damn. Okay.

[David Duchovny]

Wow. But before we get to these, I would be remiss if I, if I, if I didn't ask you this question when I had, I had Gabor, mate, on the, on the podcast.

[Charlie Sheen]

Okay.

[David Duchovny]

He, he doesn't ask what's wrong with drugs. That's. He says, what's right with them? You know, what, what does it give you at first? It gives you something.

[Charlie Sheen]

Sure.

[David Duchovny]

Before it takes away your life.

[Charlie Sheen]

Everything. Yeah. What it. So what did it, what did it give before it took everything away?

[David Duchovny]

Yeah.

[Charlie Sheen]

I, I, I think it, I think it, I think it gave me just a little, a little bit of distance, just a little bit of a barrier from, from this?

[David Duchovny]

Me?

[Charlie Sheen]

This? No, just you as an example. Just from things that, that I, that I didn't really want To. To. To. To engage, but had to. It was. There was also like a really intense sexual component to a lot of the drugs. And so that's when. When that happens early on. And that's like the first thing that really. That, that you. That.

[David Duchovny]

That.

[Charlie Sheen]

That's the first bridge you build. That's one that will stay. That's one you'll keep walking across. But then it's like, you know, someone asked me the other day, you know, do you. Do you miss drinking?

[David Duchovny]

Right?

[Charlie Sheen]

Because booze was the last thing to go. I was like, you know, didn't care about the dope anymore. And I was like, ah, I'll just drink. I got this, right? And that turned into like the gnarliest, like the most insane, the most difficult drug for me to deal with was booze. And, you know, people don't even look at it as a drug. It's booze, come on. You know. And so I had to finally accept the fact that the only part of the drinking that I could navigate was the first hour. Just the first hour. Because the first hour is like the best hour of. Of anything. It's like the. My most favorite thing in life is the first hour of drinking. Seriously. Kids, marriage, all that. I don't care. Give me the first hour of drinking.

[David Duchovny]

Right, okay, but I'm not a drinker.

[Charlie Sheen]

Okay, but it's.

[David Duchovny]

But I get it. I get it.

[Charlie Sheen]

But it's the next. Yeah, 500 hours or just the next 12 hours.

[David Duchovny]

Right?

[Charlie Sheen]

And so that's. So once I get, you know, could just abandon that fantasy of living inside that hour, then it's. Then it's not a big deal.

[David Duchovny]

I see.

[Charlie Sheen]

You know.

[David Duchovny]

There'S a beautiful moment in the book, and I'm gonna misquote it, but you talk about. I think you're shooting Two and a Half Men and you're drinking some, and you talk about having like, three different personalities. There's the guy on set, there's the good co worker, and then there's the father that doesn't want to get up at 2am to help with the baby. But then you say that those 2am feedings gave me more than anything in my life that I've ever gotten. And I wonder what you meant by that.

[Charlie Sheen]

I think I described it as alone in that moonlit alcove with my noble dad duties. Sam wasn't the only one being nourished. You know, it's pretty good shit, right?

[David Duchovny]

But.

[Charlie Sheen]

But yeah, yeah, it's. It's with. With all of that going on with the show. And with the, you know, with the marriage and all, you know, all that, all the, all the special effects, you know, all the, all that stuff just to finally wind up in just inside of a moment where nothing else matters, you know, except the natural, like a new human being that I'm responsible for.

[David Duchovny]

Bit of a switcheroo.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah, Bit of a switcheroo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Duchovny]

And if you could just explain. We're going to get to the questions now, but the moment when you decided to quit drinking also revolves around your daughter.

[Charlie Sheen]

It does.

[David Duchovny]

If you could tell them that story because I just find the fact that you made that decision. You talk about having been forced to go into rehab a few times and you say it's never going to work if it's not your idea.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

But then it occurs to you as your idea. And what is that moment and what is happening in that moment?

[Charlie Sheen]

I mean, should I just read that?

[David Duchovny]

I don't know.

[Charlie Sheen]

You want me to read it?

[David Duchovny]

Or you can just tell these guys what happened. Oh, and they say they want you to read it.

[Charlie Sheen]

You want me to read it? Yeah. Okay. Oh. Oh, awesome. Thank you. Thank you.

[David Duchovny]

Now while you find that page. Oh, now just because she throw a book doesn't mean you start throwing shit up here. I'm going to read questions while you look for it.

[Charlie Sheen]

Okay. Well, it's right at the end.

[David Duchovny]

Okay, that's interesting. You go ahead. Whenever.

[Charlie Sheen]

Can I go? Yeah. Okay. All right.

[David Duchovny]

Oh, are you single?

[Charlie Sheen]

Single. Thought there'd be a number on the back. Yeah, whatever. Old habits die hard, right? Yes, I am. That's not my reaction to it, but you know. Okay. I still get asked in the streets here and there. If there's one moment I can point to is the final straw that broke my camel. It usually gets a laugh when I tell them. It's really hard to choose one with that many bales to pick through. That's about the laugh it usually gets. It was December 10, 2017 and by 9am I was on my third Macallan Spiked Coffee. My phone rang and when I picked it up it was my daughter Sam asking what time we were leaving. Shit. Her appointment that day had slipped my mind. I've never mixed the cups with the wheel. So I called Tony T to come bail me out of a situation he was all too familiar with. There's reliable and then there's that dude. Ood dude. My man was there in 22 minutes and in very short order we were on the road with 13 year old Sam in the back seat and the two adults up front. Well, one adult for sure. Thanks to T. The trip was handled with a combination of precision and grace. On the drive back to my house, Sam was very quiet and I could see her back there from the two angles. I had the visors vanity mirror as well as the side view on my right. I didn't need to be clairvoyant to know exactly what she was thinking. Why is dad not driving again? Why isn't it just the two of us in the car like it used to be? When will that moment ever return? When will dad ever return? I miss him. I missed him too. There was only one thing that felt worse than betraying myself. And that was failing my children. In that car, on that day, with my best friend and a child I adore, I joined Sam in those mirrors and saw a guy who was desperate to finally come home for real. The details of that home were no longer scattered. And at long last, I did have all the puzzle pieces to define it. I'm the one who left home. And yet, somehow it never left me. I knew exactly what had to be done. Like I've always said, life comes down to doers and talkers. And there was really nothing left for me to say. It was time to shut the fuck up and get busy. Doing Sam wasn't my final straw. She was my first harvest. Not bad, right? Thank you. Thank you. You're a little choked up there, man.

[David Duchovny]

I saw that.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah, man. Yeah, but that means it's, It's. It's.

[David Duchovny]

Well, you pleased yourself.

[Charlie Sheen]

Sorry?

[David Duchovny]

You pleased yourself.

[Charlie Sheen]

And hopefully them.

[David Duchovny]

Oh, you definitely pleased them. Yeah.

[Charlie Sheen]

That's good. Thank you.

[David Duchovny]

All right, here's. Here's a few questions.

[Charlie Sheen]

That was really exciting. I've never done anything like that before, so thank you for allowing me to share that. Thank you. Seriously.

[David Duchovny]

I could see. I could see a one man show.

[Charlie Sheen]

Hey, now.

[David Duchovny]

Just me.

[Charlie Sheen]

That's what it's called.

[David Duchovny]

What movie or TV set had the biggest impact on you?

[Charlie Sheen]

Apocalypse.

[David Duchovny]

Really?

[Charlie Sheen]

Hands down. Yeah, hands down. Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

If you could have one do over in your life, I guess only one. So somebody's pretty cheap with the do overs out there, right? What would it be?

[Charlie Sheen]

I mean, the one that's like really true isn't the one that I'm supposed to say, Sorry, uh, fucking tattoos.

[David Duchovny]

Oh.

[Charlie Sheen]

Oh, sorry. Uh, no. I mean, no shit. HIV is easier to deal with than fucking tattoos. Okay. Can't take a pill and make your fucking tattoos disappear. Was all of that just out loud? Yeah, I know. I don't care. I don't Care anymore. No. That's such a bad, terrible, stupid decision. They could have been like little stick figures and really small. Like maybe like down here. They're just fucking everywhere.

[David Duchovny]

I don't, I'm not aware. Are you all aware of Charlie's tattoos? I'm, they're not.

[Charlie Sheen]

Yeah. I got like 18, but I know there's no sleeves, there's no caps, there's none of that shit. But they're just in places and they're colors and things. And it's like it's going to be a five year process to get rid of them. To get rid of them. Yeah. It's gonna be a while.

[David Duchovny]

Oh, you want it?

[Charlie Sheen]

You like to make them go away so you, if there's any. Was it regret the thing a do over? Yeah. Just.

[David Duchovny]

I didn't ask the question. I'm sorry.

[Charlie Sheen]

Whoever did. Right? Yeah. Just that I would never get one or just like get one. Just one, but a tiny one, you know, like right here. Sorry, that was stupid. But yeah, that, that's a do over.

[David Duchovny]

Yeah. Well, that's an unexpected answer.

[Charlie Sheen]

I, I, I knew it would be. Yeah.

[David Duchovny]

Last one. Here we go.

[Charlie Sheen]

Okay.

[David Duchovny]

This is like a haiku.

[Charlie Sheen]

Okay.

[David Duchovny]

We all love you. Are you a good guy or a bad guy?

[Charlie Sheen]

I'm a good guy. I think I'm a good guy. And, and, and, and good guys sometimes do some bad things. But, you know, the only way to stay a good guy is to own that shit.

[David Duchovny]

What I loved about his book and about his demeanor is he's unapologetic. Not in a defiant sense. Can you be humbly unapologetic? I think so. I think Charlie is. I had a fun time talking to him. He's a great scene partner. And we were playing a scene, we did it in front of people at the 92nd Street Y. So we were there to entertain in a way, a couple actors, a couple people pleasers trying to entertain. Along those lines, Charlie has written in his book the creative flame that once inspired Super 8 to the silver screen that had been reduced to a crack torch lighting up porn on a computer screen. I was ready to be done with all of it. The failure of or the circuitousness of creative impulses if they are not honored or if the need to express is not honored. It can come out sideways. So there he saw his art coming out sideways smoking crack in front of porn. It doesn't get any more clear than that how one can get lost, how one can fail. Thanks so much for listening to fail Better if you haven't subscribed to Lemonada Premium, yet now's the perfect time because guess what? You can listen completely ad free. Plus you'll unlock exclusive bonus content like the full version of my post interview thoughts that you won't hear anywhere else. That's more of my recaps on interviews with guests like Chris Carter and Emily Deschanel. Just tap that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts or head to lemonadepremium.com to subscribe on any other app app that's lemonadapremium.com don't miss out. Fail Better is production of Lemonada Media in coordination with King Baby. It is produced by Keegan Zema, Aria Brachi and Donnie Matias. Our engineer is Brian Castillo. Our SVP of Weekly is Steve Nelson. Special thanks to Carl Ackerman, Tom Krupinski and Brad Davidson. The show is executive produced by Stephanie Whittles Wax, Jessica Cordova Kramer and me, David Duchovny. The music is also by me and my band, the lovely Colin Lee, Pat McCusker, Mitch Stewart, Davis Rowan and Sebastian Modak. You can find us online at Lemonada Media and you can find me at David Duchovny. Follow Fail Better wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon Music with your prime membership.

[Chelsea Clinton]

You know when you're just going about your busy day and a voice asks you something like why do people have crushes?

[Charlie Sheen]

Or do dogs know their dogs?

[Chelsea Clinton]

The Brainzon podcast is here to help. Every episode answers tough questions with funny skits, cool facts, and more. It's a science show for kids of all ages. Whether you grew up with jfk, mtv, TLC, or tmz, brainson is for you.

[David Duchovny]

Listening may induce uncontrollable laughter and turn.

[Charlie Sheen]

Backseat squabbles into harmonious car trips.

[David Duchovny]

Find Brains on wherever you get your podcasts.