You’re Dead to Me (BBC Radio 4)

Episode: "Witch Craze"

Air Date: December 29, 2025
Host: Greg Jenner
Guests: Comedic voice actors, script consultant Professor Susannah Lipscomb

Episode Overview

In this sharply witty and informative edition of "You’re Dead to Me," Greg Jenner tackles the "Witch Craze," a terrifying historical period when tens of thousands were accused and executed for witchcraft across Europe and America. Combining humor with expert insight, the episode unpacks why the witch hunts erupted when they did, whom they targeted, how "witches" were found, and the bizarre, tragic, and sometimes comically absurd processes by which they were prosecuted and punished.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fascination — and Fear — of Witches

• Opening banter: Greg invites the audience to think about their favorite witches, contrasting public love for witches (like Elphaba from "Wicked," referenced at [01:30]) with the historical fear.
• Scale of the witch hunts:
  • 1450–1750: ~90,000 accused; ~45,000 executed ([01:34]–[02:23]).
  • Not just Salem: Spread across Europe with profound social implications.

2. Societal Drivers Behind the Witch Craze

• The period saw massive social, religious, and economic upheaval: wars, climate crisis, crop failures ([02:32]).
• Scapegoating: People blamed "witches" for misfortunes instead of recognizing broader issues ([02:53]).
  • Quote: “An innocent person who’s easy to blame for stuff. And if you believed in witches instead of saying something like ‘the socio-political situations left me economically vulnerable…’, instead people could just say that weird old woman cursed my turnips.” — Greg Jenner [02:53–03:16]

3. Manuals & Mania: Making Witch-Hunting Official

• Key texts:
  • Malleus Maleficarum (“The Hammer of Witches,” 1486) — turns witch-hunting into a how-to ([03:16])
  • King James I’s Demonology (early 1600s) — a royal bestseller, further fueling paranoia ([03:33–03:55])
• Satiric riff on “ghostwriting” and celebrity authorship ([03:48–04:00]).

4. How to Find a Witch: The Absurd ‘Evidence’

• Accumulation of suspicion:

  • Most accusations targeted older, often single women, especially if they owned pets or spoke to animals ([04:10–05:57]).
  • Stereotypes rapidly solidified.
  • Notable Case: Agnes Waterhouse (England, 1566) — executed for witchcraft; her cat’s name (Satan) and her daughter's testimony sealed her fate ([04:40–05:11]).
    • Quote: “Getting both your mum and auntie executed must have made Christmas dinner pretty awkward.” — Greg Jenner [05:02]

• Familiars: Both cats and the likes of frogs could be “evidence” ([05:57–06:06]).

  • Comic Interlude: “Did Janet say good morning to you at 0900 hours? Ribbit.” — Comedic Voices [06:06–06:12]

5. Gender, Geography, and the Problem of ‘Proof’

• Gendered targeting:

  • 75–85% of accused in Britain = women/girls (esp. over 45) ([06:53])
  • Exception: Iceland — 92% male accused ([07:11])
    • Quote: “At least Icelanders were ahead of their time when it came to gender inequality.” — Greg Jenner [07:16]

• Legal systems:

  • In theory: Two witnesses needed ([07:42])
  • In practice: “Double Witchcraft” — the devil hid the evidence, so torture and forced confession took over ([08:08–08:20])
    • Quote: “The authorities would get accused witches to, ahem, confess... by torturing them.” — Greg Jenner [08:20]

6. Torture, Trials, and Tragedy

• Torture methods: Stretching on racks, crushing limbs, burning on iron chairs ([08:20])

• Witch ‘swimming’ test:

  • Thumbs tied to toes, victim thrown in water — float: guilty, sink: innocent (and drowned) ([08:46–09:11])
    • Quote: “If a person floated, they said the water was rejecting them, so they were a witch. And if the lady sank, they were innocent.” — Greg Jenner [09:03]

• Body ‘evidence’: Moles, birthmarks as “devil’s marks” ([09:31])

  • “Beauty standards for women are bad enough these days. Back then, it was murder.” — Greg Jenner [09:31]

7. Witchfinder General and the Business of Witch Hunts

• Matthew Hopkins, self-styled “Witchfinder General” of the 1640s ([10:15–10:40])

  • Used sleep deprivation to extract ‘confessions’ ([10:44–11:00])
  • Exploited the chaos of the English Civil War, monetizing accusations ([11:00])

• Regional punishments:

  • England/Wales — hanging (secular crime)
  • Scotland — burning (religious heresy) ([11:31–11:53])
    • With the dark punchline: “In Scotland, they weren’t always burned alive. We’d strangle you first.” — Comedic Voice [11:55–12:03]

8. Community and Counteraction

• German town Rothenburg ob der Tauber: Tortured not just the accused, but also accusers to discourage false claims, leading to lower prosecution rates ([12:04–12:34])
• Community support:
  • Dorset (1606): neighbors petition for accused witch Joan Guppy — evidence of resistance to witch hunts ([12:42–13:04])

9. Absurd Accusations & The End of the Craze

• Ridiculous charges: A woman blamed for English navy defeat, failed royal pregnancies, and an MP trampled by a bull—main ‘evidence’? “She was seen near some bouncing cats.” ([13:20–13:31])

• Final executions:

  • Anna Göldi, Switzerland, 1782, often cited as Europe’s last witchcraft execution ([13:42–14:53])
    • “That is just 126 years before they invented the Toblerone. Really makes you think.” — Greg Jenner [13:38]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [03:48]

  • Comedic Voice (on King James I): “So King James. Usually when a celeb pitches us a book idea, we get a ghost writer to do it.”
  • Comedic Voice: “You get a ghost to write it. Witchcraft. Burn this publishing house to the ground.”

• [06:47]

  • Comedic Voice, macabrely joking about crime stories: “His tongue was never found. Cool.”

• [11:55]

  • Comedic Voice (on Scottish execution methods): “In Scotland they weren’t always burned alive. We’d strangle you first.”
  • Other voice: “Thanks.”

• [13:38]

  • Greg Jenner (comparing end of witch craze & modern obsessions): “Much like Gangnam Style, thankfully, all bad things must come to an end.”

Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:34] — Introduction to the scale and seriousness of the witch craze
• [03:16] — Manuals and the rise of witch-hunting guides
• [04:40] — Story of Agnes Waterhouse, early English witch trial
• [06:53] — The gender split in witch accusations
• [08:08] — On confessions, “double witchcraft,” and torture
• [09:03] — The “swimming” test explanation
• [10:15] — Matthew Hopkins and sleep deprivation
• [11:31] — Legal vs. religious crime: England/Wales vs. Scotland
• [12:04] — Rothenburg’s unique approach and lower witch trial rates
• [12:42] — Community defense: the case of Joan Guppy
• [13:42] — The last execution and end of the witch craze
• [14:27–14:56] — Quiz Recap: Key facts reviewed

Episode Quiz Questions & Answers

• Q1: What was the name of Heinrich Kramer’s best selling handbook?
  A1: Malleus Maleficarum — “the hammer of witches.” ([14:27])

• Q2: How many people accused vs. executed?
  A2: 90,000 accused, 45,000 executed. ([14:33–14:42])

• Q3: Who was the last person in Europe executed for witchcraft (1782, Switzerland)?
  A3: Anna Göldi. ([14:53])

Conclusion

"Witch Craze" delivers a rapid-fire, accessible yet thoughtful history lesson, balancing dark truths with constant comedic asides and modern-day comparisons. The episode elucidates the mechanisms and madness behind witch-hunting, all while skewering its absurdities—and highlighting the resilience and occasional rationality of communities amid the hysteria.

If you want more depth, the host recommends the full episode with Professor Susannah Lipscomb on "You’re Dead to Me."