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Sarah
Being pressured to do scary things makes me feel included. Why is there always a gnat in my wine?
Chelsea
A gnat?
Sarah
Yeah. Every time I drink wine, within five minutes, a gnat decides to die there.
Chelsea
I don't know if I can tell the difference between a gnat and another winged insect.
Sarah
The gnats are the really little ones that love to fly into my glasses of wine.
Chelsea
Yeah, okay.
Miranda
All right.
Chelsea
I'm looking at a chart. Okay. Yeah, okay, sure.
Sarah
They're really tiny. It's not like having a fly in there. That would be, like, really gross. And of course, an Alanis Morissette song.
Chelsea
Of course. Of course.
Sarah
Rather ironic, if you will.
Chelsea
Nothing more ironic than a bug in your wine.
Sarah
Yes.
Chelsea
This is our cold open Chelsea.
Sarah
Who. Who. Who the fuck are you? Sorry for swearing, kids.
Chelsea
I am a gnat. I am a big gnat.
Sarah
You are a gnat. You're that. You're the gnat in the wine glass. You're the bay leaf in the potato salad.
Chelsea
I'm the gnat of the podcasting world,
Sarah
buzzing around, looking for some fruit in your kitchen.
Chelsea
I would love some wine, though. I wouldn't mind being in. Consumed in a wine glass currently.
Sarah
And your next life, you can come back as a gnat in my wine.
Chelsea
Yeah, that would be. I would be fine with that.
Sarah
Yeah.
Chelsea
A nice, short life, you know, nice, easy.
Sarah
Yeah. You're born, you fly into my wine, you pass away.
Chelsea
Yeah.
Sarah
Probably pretty drunk. It's fine.
Chelsea
But to me, it would seem like an eternity because all I have is my own context of time.
Sarah
That's an interesting idea.
Chelsea
Yeah.
Sarah
Did you ever read one person, when I say this will be like. Yes. Did you ever read. There's this Ursula Le Guin story. This was in this collection called the Compass Rose. It is called the author of the Acacia Seeds. I remember my mom buying this book for me when I was 13 years old and getting in the car with her outside pals, which is a wonderful bookstore, but is much more of a gift shop than it used to be in the 90s. It was really like a warehouse with a bunch of yellow books in it.
Chelsea
Yes.
Sarah
And it was so much better that way. Yeah. Yeah. You know, because it's nice for things to be new and shiny and well organized and have polite people working there. But at what cost?
Chelsea
There are limits.
Sarah
You're from Seattle, you know.
Chelsea
I do, I do. We've ruined everything here. Yeah.
Sarah
But I remember sitting in my mom's car on a summer's day. She drove, I don't know which direction on Burnside but, you know, back towards our house. I should know this.
Chelsea
A lot of detail.
Sarah
I would say east to get on the freeway.
Chelsea
This is like a fiction writer when it's like, way too much detail. They're like, we passed 1, 2, 3 Sycamore Street.
Sarah
I really struggle with that. Yeah. And I remember reading the story and it was just such a beautiful moment of, like, my mom was, like, knocking it out of the park when I was 13 with presents. I think 13, 14 sounds like it. Because she was like, oh, she's depressed. So she bought me my first Leonard Cohen album when I turned 14.
Chelsea
Wow.
Sarah
Yeah, love that. Yes.
Chelsea
We just love your mom here in podcasting.
Sarah
We love in this house. We love my mom.
Chelsea
Yeah. But anyway, what about your friggin story?
Sarah
What about my friggin story? All right, Chelsea, let's get there.
Chelsea
Sarah.
Sarah
We were heading down Burnside in July 2001. We had no white onions because of the Spanish American War. That was back when Nickels had bees on him. Give me five bees for a quarter,
Chelsea
he'd say, because that was the style at the time.
Sarah
Okay. But anyway, Yes, I remember reading this story and just that moment in time. And it's a wonderful collection of stories by Ursula Le Guin that are just sort of like speculative fiction, as we would call it today, in the most sort of nimble and weird and feminist way. And the first story is about, like, it's this theoretical academic paper about discovering poetry written by an ant on seed husks and, like, their interpretation of, like, what this worker aunt who secretly wrote poetry was trying to say. Wow. I know.
Chelsea
Wow. That is a very you story. And I was like, watching this ant, like, maybe today or maybe yesterday, like, walk across a log at the beach carrying this big ass thing. And I was like, revolt. You can turn around. You don't have to bring that to the queen. You can be free. Don't do it.
Sarah
You can eat your crumb yourself. But ants don't want to live alone up there. You know, we have to live with that. They don't want to be rescued, the ants.
Chelsea
And then I googled, do bugs have brains?
Sarah
Do they? Probably little tiny ones, right? Yeah.
Chelsea
Little, tiny brains.
Sarah
Yeah. Yeah, Great.
Chelsea
That was my day at the beach.
Sarah
Perfect.
Chelsea
But that is a lovely story. I do love that.
Sarah
Yes. Everyone should read it. It's called the Compass Rose. It's great. Okay, so, Kelsey, what we're doing today is a little quiz. It is the summer. It is hot. Some of us are having thunderstorms and lightning. Not in the Northwest, Really? Sadly, we don't really have that hardly
Chelsea
ever here once in a while.
Sarah
And as we're recording this, I hear. I hear, Kelsey, that the. I feel like Johnny Carson, that the temperature in Paris, France, is 110. Ooh. Yeah. Weird, wild stuff.
Chelsea
Yes. Weird, wild stuff. I do feel like you've taken on a completely new tone in this episode. Pretty crazy. That old climate change.
Sarah
It's just. It's a scary time. And I am amazed at how close Ursula Le Guin got to the truth of how time has passed and that things that we used to know continue to exist but are melting. Interestingly. Literally and figuratively. Yeah. And so that has nothing to do. Or maybe it has something to do with today's episode, which is like, okay, this is my rationale. I realized subliminally is that it's hot. There's lightning. We're going to have a lightning round episode. I have 20 questions for you. We're going to give you one point per question.
Chelsea
Okay.
Sarah
Some are going to be easier, some are going to be harder, but I don't want to make it complicated for myself to score you.
Chelsea
Okay. All right.
Sarah
Because it's been a long semester.
Chelsea
Oh, dear. Okay. All right.
Sarah
Are you excited?
Chelsea
I'm excited. I love lightning.
Sarah
Me too.
Chelsea
So I'm going to carry that in my heart.
Sarah
And we had a rainbows episode, so.
Chelsea
But, yes, I do feel nervous because I did not exactly know what this was going to be like, and now I'm being quizzed, and I do feel like this is a pop quiz.
Sarah
It is a pop quiz. Which is the most fun way to say that.
Chelsea
So I'm sweating button. I'm pulling my collar right now being like, ooh. Well, no, but I'm excited.
Sarah
Good. Yeah. You're gonna do great.
Chelsea
I don't have anything to be embarrassed about. I get zero points.
Sarah
No, you don't.
Chelsea
At least I'm fun. I'll always have that.
Sarah
You are fun. And also, I won't be surprised if you get zero. But let's do. Do you want to decide what the kind of scoring scale is? I mean, I was thinking that if you win, if you get, like, 15 to 20 points, you can make me high five you while you have one of those little gunpowder things that you talked about in the Firecrackers episode. I will do my second least favorite thing. Something involving a loud sound.
Chelsea
Ooh, interesting.
Sarah
First least favorite thing, crowds.
Chelsea
I like. I like that, like, my winnings are your punishment.
Sarah
I thought you might enjoy that.
Chelsea
I actually do.
Sarah
Yeah.
Chelsea
But for anyone who did not listen to our fireworks episode, what Sarah is talking about is that my brother Riley, who's our associate producer over at American Hysteria, and I invented this game with those little poppets, which you guys may know as those little tiny, like, white bags of, I think, gunpowder that are, like, twisted at the top.
Sarah
I saw them at Safeway yesterday.
Chelsea
Yeah, they're everywhere. One of the only fireworks that I think. I think you can get them everywhere.
Sarah
Hopefully they're made out of something safer than that, but who knows?
Chelsea
They probably just are. But my brother and I invented putting, like, about three of them between each of your fingers and then high fiving each other.
Sarah
Oh, my God.
Chelsea
Doesn't hurt.
Sarah
I'm not doing three, but it does
Chelsea
sound awesome and it looks awesome.
Sarah
Oh, my God.
Chelsea
Kelsey, you brought this to me.
Sarah
I know. I want to. I want to inspire you to do a really great job.
Chelsea
Okay, well, we'll videotape it if I do win, and we will pop it up on the old. The old Patreon, so. All right.
Sarah
I love it. All right. And then. Okay. And let's say between 15 and 5 is a tie.
Chelsea
Okay.
Sarah
And I think for a tie, you and I should go on a roller coaster. Great. Because that way we're both happy.
Chelsea
Like, we wouldn't do it anyway. But. Yes.
Sarah
Well, yes. But it incentivizes us because it's part of a quiz. And then if you get 5 to 0 points, it means you need more. You're wrong about reprogramming, if you will. And it means that we're going to go to a corn maze. That's.
Chelsea
But that benefits me. I feel like. But I don't.
Sarah
I. But I don't want to. Listen, Kelsey, I don't wish you harm. I just wish you quiet things.
Chelsea
And I was immediately like, she'll find me.
Sarah
Do that. Yeah.
Miranda
Yeah.
Sarah
And I like to be dared to do stuff. It works out for everybody. Being pressured to do scary things makes me feel included.
Chelsea
But now I'm thinking, should I have to buy an American Girl doll off ebay and display it in my house?
Sarah
You can if you would like to.
Chelsea
All right. No, punish for me. I win in every. Every scenario.
Sarah
Yeah.
Chelsea
Yeah, me too.
Sarah
Basically.
Chelsea
Perfect.
Sarah
Okay, so we have 20 questions, and I think we should set a time limit.
Chelsea
Okay.
Sarah
To keep it edgy. What do you think? 30 minutes? How do you feel about 30 minutes?
Chelsea
30 minutes for total or 30 minutes per question?
Sarah
30 minutes total.
Chelsea
Yes. Yeah, that's great. Should we have a timer per question, or is it more like, let's just do it overall.
Sarah
All right.
Chelsea
All right.
Miranda
Yeah.
Sarah
And then. Okay, and if you answer this question correctly, I will give you 10 extra minutes this first question. Yes.
Chelsea
Oh, shit. Okay. All right. Okay, I'm ready.
Sarah
All right, what temperature approximately.
Chelsea
Already liked. I'm fucked. Okay, go ahead.
Sarah
I just will tell everybody that I grew up watching Alex Trebek on Jeopardy, and I love him and I miss him every day. So. Okay, approximately, what temperature was the hot coffee that Stella Liebeck spilled on herself in the infamous McDonald's hot coffee case of the 1990s? Okay, approximate temperature.
Chelsea
Approximate temperature. I want to say. I want to say, like, oh, God, like, 150. Is that way too high?
Sarah
No, it's not way too high.
Chelsea
Oh, shit. Okay. All right.
Sarah
Is it like, I'm going to give you another chance. I want you to go higher.
Chelsea
All right, I'll go higher. I, like, don't know how temperature burned, but I know that she was much maligned. I'll say 200.
Sarah
That's very close. It was estimated at 180 to 190 degrees.
Chelsea
Ooh, boy.
Sarah
Because that was the temperature that McDonald's was keeping coughing at at that time for some reason. If there was a reason for it, I forget it. But you could learn about it if there is. In our previous episode, the McDonald's hot coffee case.
Chelsea
It's great. Definitely listen to that one.
Sarah
Thank you, Kelsey.
Chelsea
Oh, I mean, that story is just so wild.
Miranda
Yeah.
Chelsea
Okay, I guess we have to keep going. I guess we can't be chatting.
Sarah
Well, I do want us to chat. We don't have to take this so seriously that we're not chatting.
Miranda
Oh, fuck.
Chelsea
So much is at stake. Okay, all right. Okay, I'm ready, though.
Sarah
I'm going to give you 40 minutes because you were very close to the actual temperature. You said 200. It was 180 to 190. And because you said kind words about Stella. All right, let's go.
Chelsea
Okay.
Sarah
We all know, I hope that in the 1994 Olympics in Lillehammer, Norway, Tanya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan were competing for the United States in the figure skating competition in ladies singles. Who won the gold in ladies figure skating that year?
Chelsea
Oh, it's like, I want to say Nancy, but I feel like maybe she got second. But I don't know any. I won't remember the other person's name, so I'm gonna go Nancy.
Sarah
She did come in second. She won the silver medal.
Chelsea
Okay, well, at least I knew that.
Sarah
You did know that.
Chelsea
Who is it?
Sarah
The winner of the goal that year was Oksana Bayoul.
Chelsea
Cool. Go for her.
Sarah
She was competing for Ukraine. Yep. She had some fun numbers. She did, like, a Comme Saint Sans Swan ballet thing, which was very pretty for her exhibition. And she had, like, a. Wore a lot of marabou, I think, and had, like, a Broadway medley. Nancy, interestingly, people don't talk about this enough. Skated to a Neil diamond medley for her long skate and I think maybe possibly her short program as well.
Chelsea
What a surreal thing.
Sarah
And it was beautiful. Yeah. Is the thing. And it included a lot of Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
Chelsea
Oh, I need to rewatch these.
Sarah
I recommend them. They're very interesting. And to sort of watch that night of skating in sequence is fascinating. It's an incredible drama.
Chelsea
Yeah, she fought through, man.
Sarah
Yeah, they both did in their own way.
Chelsea
In their own way. Absolutely. You know, it's. It's complicated.
Sarah
So, yeah, the gold went to Oksana Bayoul. And what's interesting about that is that this is before they were using instant replay and figure skating judging. They just had these judges trying to, like, do their best to see what was going on as it was happening. And so there was some controversy over the fact that while landing a jump, Oksana Bayoul, like, had two feet on the ice at a moment, I'm pretty sure, when she wasn't supposed to. Ooh. And one of the judges arguably graded her in such a way that as to imply that he hadn't seen that happening because it would be really easy to miss it, because it was at the opposite end of a giant skating rink. And it was, like, one little. I think, possibly even just a toe down where it shouldn't have been for a split second.
Chelsea
Do you think he had a motive for doing that, or do you think it was an honest difference in.
Sarah
I think it's just as easy to make the honest mistake and probably easier.
Chelsea
Yeah, totally.
Sarah
I would be very interested to hear a broader expose about bribery in the skating world, because it does happen. I think probably more than any of us would like to believe.
Chelsea
Yeah. I mean, it happened when I was a kid in softball. We played this one game, and there was a ump that was. And we were in, like. I was in select softball, so we were, like. I had, like, traveled, and we were.
Sarah
I never knew this. That's exciting.
Chelsea
Yeah. And the umpire was obviously biased. There was, like, this team that, like, they were, like, the best team, and they were always, like, in these really fancy uniforms, and they always played. I won't fucking call them Out. But their name was Blank west, like their town name and then West. And so they'd play wild, Wild west when they came on the field, and it was so annoying, and the uncle was calling for them, and I was just up on the fence in the. In the pen, just being like, what are you doing? Like, they were like. Everyone was like, calm down. And we were just like, jeering and we were so pissed. So it even happens at that low level of sporting. Yeah. And I'll never forget my rage.
Sarah
How old were you?
Chelsea
I'm going with 11.
Sarah
That's nuts. What is the point in racketeering around 11 year olds? Sports teams, dude.
Chelsea
That. That team, like, there was. It was dark. There was a lot of dark stuff about Blank West.
Sarah
Oh, no.
Chelsea
Anyway, so who knows who should have won that. That skating competition? But yeah, good for her. Good for everyone.
Sarah
It could just as well have been Nancy. Yeah.
Miranda
And.
Sarah
And from a certain perspective, I. E. My pers. Perspective, it really should have been.
Chelsea
Yeah. Yeah.
Sarah
Okay. You did great. I'm gonna give you half a point for that.
Chelsea
I'll take it.
Sarah
Yeah. Because you knew that Nancy came in second and then you second guessed yourself. But that's okay.
Chelsea
Yeah.
Sarah
Okay. Name three trials of the sanctuary.
Chelsea
I can do this.
Sarah
These are trials, like, from the 20th century through today that have been called the trial of the Sanctuary in the media or by pundits or. Or lawyers, at the time of which there have been like at least a couple dozen.
Chelsea
So many. Leopold and Loeb.
Sarah
Nice.
Chelsea
I'll do O.J. i'll do. Okay, let's see. I know so many that I feel would qualify. I thought I would get this so easy.
Sarah
You got two immediately.
Chelsea
Let's go. Menendez brothers.
Sarah
I can't confirm that based on my research, but I'm willing to believe that, you know.
Chelsea
Okay, let's see. What about Lizzie Borden?
Sarah
Well, okay, let me tell you something interesting. I believe, based on a couple of sources, I read that the first application of this term In, I think 1906, 1907, was to the trial, actually two trials, because the first, Curie deadlocked. I can't remember if that's different from a hung jury, but it didn't work out, so they had to have a second one. But the trial of Harry K. Thaw for the murder of Stanford White, to defend allegedly the honor of his wife, Evelyn Nesbitt, which happened again 1906, 1907. So that is like, arguably by some, the like, first kind of like use of that term, at least in print, that People have found in the record.
Chelsea
Right, that's very interesting.
Sarah
Yeah. Farther back. Closer to that period, maybe. And I bet Menendez has been called that, by the way. We could quit now.
Chelsea
Well, also, here's another one I'm gonna pitch. Yeah, I'm gonna pitch also Patty Hearst trial, the sla.
Sarah
Yeah. Again, I don't. I don't know about that one, but
Chelsea
I. I know it's hard to count them all because.
Sarah
Right, yeah, because there's tons that I haven't uncovered because it's like at least
Chelsea
one person in the media has to call it that. And then it's like I just, I come across it so often and everything. But tell me, tell me the year again. One.
Sarah
1906 or so.
Chelsea
1906. Well, we just did an episode about Belle Gunness, which I believe was called the Trial of the Century. Well, no, because I didn't. Nope, that's not right. But that was right. Belle Gunness was like a. A serial killer woman who killed through personal ads, which is a very interesting story. You can join our Patreon to learn more.
Sarah
Oh, but can I tell you a
Chelsea
couple that I just. Go ahead, go ahead.
Sarah
Okay. Well, okay, so Leopold and Loeb and OJ Are two big ones. And when you think about them. And the Leopold and Loeb case was a murder committed by two young men, like early 20s, I believe, who felt themselves to be very intellectual and wanted to commit the crime of the sanctuary.
Chelsea
A couple of ubermensch. Mensches.
Sarah
Yeah, Ubermensch.
Chelsea
Yeah, that.
Sarah
Yeah. To their private belief. And also there was some degree of romantic and sexual entanglement going on there. Kind of a one sided romantic thing. Very sadly.
Chelsea
Very sadly. History could be different because you should
Sarah
never be driven to violent crime by someone who doesn't like you.
Chelsea
Just think of Scream 1, but it.
Sarah
But usually it probably does go that way. Yeah, it was very Scream one. And that's the thing. This relationship has been depicted and spoofed in media for a really long time. And it's sort of this very influential cultural moment because there were more mega narratives back in the 20s. People followed this trial on the radio every day. It was kind of a precursor to OJ and that's one of the uniting factors here, is that OJ Also was broadcast. You could watch it every single day for the entirety of it. You could watch it condensed. It was like an extremely televised trial. And it kind of was like the soap opera to end all soap operas in a sense.
Chelsea
Absolutely. Yep.
Sarah
And yeah, so when you have something that's called the Trial of the Sanctuary. I think often, like, one of the themes that appears in common is that it's something that the public is let in on in a big way and feels. I don't know. That it's a big narrative that signifies themes in American life and the trials we're looking at and also that people have access to it. So we have the Scopes Trial.
Chelsea
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Sarah
Yep. The Monkey trial. The trial of Sacco and Vanzetti is an example that I think that label has been applied to a lot. And also on just like a criminal and on a domestic murder. Wife aside, trial, we have the. The trial of Sam Shepard in the 1950s.
Chelsea
Okay. Yeah. Yep. Very interesting stuff.
Miranda
I love.
Chelsea
I just. I just so often am doing research, and it's like, it's the trial of the century. And I'm like, add it to the pile.
Sarah
Like, people love to say that.
Chelsea
I know, I know.
Sarah
Yeah. Here's a fun one in Rosemary's Baby. And by the way, we're giving you a point for the Trials of the Sanctuary question. So you're doing great.
Chelsea
I believe I deserve it. Thank you.
Sarah
Yeah. Oh, yeah. You really do. Okay. In Rosemary's Baby, the novel by Ira Levin, why does Rosemary's husband make a deal with the cast of Vets, AKA the Satanists Next Door?
Chelsea
I'm not gonna get this.
Sarah
Well, try and guess.
Chelsea
Is it different than the movie?
Sarah
No, it's the same. It doesn't matter. You can. You can just think about the movie.
Chelsea
I know, but I haven't seen the movie in so long. It doesn't have to do with the. I don't know.
Sarah
Well, why don't you guess something?
Chelsea
I'm supposed to be a horror fan.
Sarah
You're doing great.
Chelsea
Does it have to do with the baby? Wanting a baby. Does it have to do with money?
Sarah
It has to do with neither a baby nor money. Isn't that interesting?
Chelsea
It is interesting. Does it have to do with, like, property?
Sarah
Nope. It has nothing to do with material gain.
Chelsea
Okay.
Sarah
Which I think is very interesting.
Chelsea
Is it just for them to, like, stop being fucking weird?
Sarah
No. Do you want me to tell you? Yes.
Chelsea
Just tell me. This is embarrassing.
Sarah
Okay, so the great thing.
Chelsea
I thought I couldn't be embarrassed, but I can.
Sarah
You're doing great. One of the great things about Rosemary's Baby that is a little bit subtle, I think, even, is that we establish that this is a couple, especially in the movie where the real estate is to die for, is that they are doing just fine for money. Because we know, especially in the book, that Guy has done this commercial that runs all the time, and so they have plenty of money from that. They rent this amazing apartment and are furnishing it, and so they're doing fine in terms of money. But Guy is an actor, and he really wants to, like, have respect because he's doing TV and commercials, but he wants to do theater.
Chelsea
Right.
Sarah
So he sells his wife and the use of her reproductive organs to the Satanists. Not for money or out of necessity or greed, which is somehow, like, more predictable based on the, I don't know, Faustian narratives that we've grown up hearing. Sure, but so that he can, like, be taken seriously off Broadway. God.
Chelsea
Horrible.
Sarah
Isn't that so real?
Chelsea
It's so real. It's so real and so yucky. It's somehow yuckier than many of the things that I guessed. You know, people are driven mad by the allure of fame, I suppose.
Sarah
Well, and not even fame necessarily as much as, like, being taken seriously as an artist, which is somehow more annoying to me.
Chelsea
Yeah, it is. Because it's like, if you want to be taken seriously, then just, like, do it. Do the serious work.
Sarah
Right. Don't make deals with Satanists.
Chelsea
And, like, if you can't get in, like, if you can't get the job, you might not be the best choice for the job, and you're just gonna get it. But, like, make the show suck. Like, is he also asking for the power of, like, being a better actor, or is it just, like, the. Like, he just wants Elaine to open up.
Sarah
There might be limits to this kind of thing. I don't know.
Chelsea
Yeah.
Sarah
Yeah. But I just find that so embarrassing and. Yeah, that's just very real. Yeah.
Chelsea
The problem with me in horror is I really. I really max out in, like, the 70s, you know what I mean? Like, I really. And that's, like, so few movies. I'm just so anti. Old movie.
Sarah
You gotta watch some Hitchcock, man.
Chelsea
So, like, I'm just such a teenager in my taste to this very day.
Sarah
Yeah, you don't want to watch anything in black and white.
Chelsea
Oh, God, no. I really have very little class, and that's okay.
Sarah
Class. I have it and you don't.
Chelsea
And I just know you love Rosemary's Baby so much.
Sarah
I adore it.
Miranda
I know.
Sarah
Yeah. But that's okay. I enjoy explaining it perhaps even more.
Chelsea
I enjoy, like.
Sarah
Oh, my God, my refrigerator popped open somehow. It's beeping.
Chelsea
That's scary. Rosemary's Baby is here.
Sarah
The baby's in the refrigerator. Being waited to be put in a preheated oven.
Chelsea
Exactly.
Sarah
Okay, I'll be right back.
Chelsea
I put the baby in the fridge. The ritual is almost complete. I can't wait to draw on Sarah's floor. Put that baby on the floor. She's been gone longer than I expected, and I don't know where my joke is going.
Sarah
Hello. Hello. I hope to one day be in the woods with you and hear a twig breaking and go, it's Rosemary's baby.
Chelsea
It's just clomping through the forest.
Sarah
Yeah.
Chelsea
No, it's a little baby on two legs.
Sarah
He's got two little stumpy legs.
Chelsea
It would be scary to see an infant walk.
Sarah
Yeah, it would be.
Chelsea
Well, like a very little.
Sarah
Unless they were like, a one year old. Yeah, I see.
Chelsea
No, a little. When does an infant cease to be one?
Sarah
I don't know. I don't know. I haven't learned.
Chelsea
Sound off in the comments.
Sarah
They don't have that in the back page of the composition book. You know, how many infants equal one baby? How many toddlers equal a youth?
Chelsea
Yeah, that's what I need to know.
Sarah
People need to know. Okay. Should I give you any points or. Or a partial point of any kind?
Chelsea
No. No.
Sarah
Okay. I'm writing a big X. I don't like to cheat. All right, Good for you.
Chelsea
I don't want sympathy.
Sarah
Okay. How many. We haven't covered this on the show, but for historical topics, our episodes with Dana Schwartz are great.
Chelsea
So good.
Sarah
How many of Henry VIII's wives did he have executed? He had six wives. How many died by execution?
Chelsea
Four.
Sarah
Good guess.
Chelsea
Okay, I want to say.
Sarah
Would you believe me if. Okay, yeah, take it. Take another. No, no, you go.
Chelsea
I want to go lower because I feel like the obvious one is like, he executed them all until there was only one.
Sarah
Right. Because that's what kids believe.
Chelsea
But it feels like.
Sarah
Because kids are always talking about the tutors. I know. I was.
Chelsea
Yeah, of course. And I should know this because I'm British and my family's probably, like, so mad at me.
Sarah
Are you. When you're saying he executed them all until there was only one, are you imagining he had many simultaneous wives?
Chelsea
No, I just mean, you know, he wanted a son, so he was like.
Sarah
Yeah.
Chelsea
Plowing through the wives, trying to get the son because he wanted to divorce someone. Right.
Sarah
Yes.
Chelsea
That was the whole thing.
Sarah
That happened a couple times.
Chelsea
Okay, so I'm going with two.
Sarah
Yes, that's correct.
Chelsea
Okay. Okay. Yeah.
Sarah
Two executions. Fantastic.
Chelsea
Thank you. Half a point.
Sarah
The mnemonic. You can Use to remember it, which is fun, is divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived.
Chelsea
Wow.
Sarah
I love that he had six wives. Three of them were named Catherine. Two of them were named Anne. Oh, yeah.
Chelsea
There was only, like, five names.
Sarah
Yeah. So, you know, divorce, beheaded, died, Divorced, beheaded, survived.
Chelsea
Boy, I really feel that I should know that, but I do love that. I love that device. And this is a really humbling day for me.
Sarah
I think you do. Look, you got that one. I think you're doing really good.
Chelsea
Yeah, I got second guess. It's all right. It's all right.
Sarah
That's still impressive. You know, a lot of people would have said six.
Chelsea
Thank you.
Sarah
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chelsea
And I want everyone to be so nice to me.
Sarah
Everyone has to be really nice to Chelsea. They're being very brave today.
Chelsea
I'll quit podcasting. I'll quit. I'll quit right now.
Sarah
I'll set the building on fire. The wives of Henry VIII were Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Jane Seymour, Anne of Cleves, Catherine Howard and Catherine Parr.
Chelsea
And may they rip in peace.
Sarah
Yes, may they. May they rip a brewski. We could do, like, tutors for newbies or something sometime. I think that could be fun.
Chelsea
That is fun. Yeah.
Sarah
Okay. What was the first year that a woman officially competed in the Boston Marathon?
Chelsea
Oh, my God. Oh, God. How. How could I know this? I don't know anything about marathons.
Sarah
I don't know, but you can guess. We did an episode on. On marathons. We called it Marathon Women.
Chelsea
Can you tell me when the Boston marathon started?
Sarah
The 20s or something? I don't know. A long time ago.
Chelsea
Okay.
Miranda
Okay.
Sarah
Back when we were having our very first trials of the century.
Chelsea
Okay. So probably the 20s it started because my guess was going to be the 20s, since there was so much like, you know, women were biking and shit, but they probably weren't letting women into competitions. So maybe I want to say 68.
Sarah
Okay, you're very close. The answer is 1972.
Chelsea
Okay. See, I was, you know, 72 was honestly actually in my head, and I was like, is that a little too late?
Sarah
Yeah, you were super close.
Chelsea
But, you know that's always how it is, right? It's always later than you think.
Sarah
Yeah. The first woman to register to compete and be allowed to compete in the Boston Marathon was Nina Cusick. Like, I guess said marathon.
Chelsea
Marathon.
Sarah
If I'm. Yeah. Chelsea, I've just run a marathon. Marathon day at the farm. Chelsea.
Chelsea
I love this character.
Sarah
See, Chelsea, I'm your. I'm your British house husband. Chelsea, I've made you some pasta.
Chelsea
I always think of Degrassi when people say pasta, because there's this, like, moment where Spinner, who's just like, the dumbest guy on the planet, is like, yeah.
Sarah
He's like, spinner. Yeah. What an idiot.
Chelsea
We have to have your mom's pasta or something. I wish I remember the exact.
Sarah
It's one of the wonderful things that Brits and Canadians share is saying pasta that way. I love it. Yeah.
Chelsea
It always surprises me.
Sarah
I love you guys.
Chelsea
Yep.
Sarah
Hail to the queen or whatever. I don't acknowledge the new guy.
Chelsea
Bloody thing. Those big old sausage fingers.
Sarah
This is like a family feud. We're gonna have to cut. Take time off your clock because I'm laughing so much. You ever see the Family Feud blooper where the question is, during what month of pregnancy does a woman begin to look pregnant? And the contestant says, september.
Chelsea
And Richard Dawson can't stop laughing for,
Sarah
like, a couple of minutes.
Chelsea
That is really funny.
Sarah
I love that. I love family feed bloopers.
Chelsea
Wait, who was the host at that time?
Sarah
Richard Dawson from Hogan's Heroes.
Chelsea
Okay. All right.
Sarah
Who kissed everyone, including minors? I'm pretty sure.
Miranda
Oh, I'm sure.
Chelsea
I'm sure.
Sarah
Buyer beware. Oh, I'll give you a bonus one.
Chelsea
Ooh.
Sarah
Is it true that an episode of Chuck Barris's the Newlywed Game, a contestant, when asked the question, this is verbatim. What's the most peculiar place you've ever had the urge to make whoopee? Is it true that one contestant said, in the ass?
Chelsea
I think it is.
Sarah
Yes, it is. That happened.
Chelsea
Yeah. It would be a really amazing question for you to make up on the spot and have the answer be false.
Sarah
Well, it was like an urban legend for a long time, and people kind of presumed it to probably not be true. And then someone was digging through all this footage.
Chelsea
Oh, yes.
Sarah
And found it. And it's like, the story that, again, was, I think, an urban myth for a long time that, like, Ted Turner had made an end of the world tape that was supposed to play when, like, the nuclear warheads were launched or whatever. And it was considered to be sort of like, oh, yeah, who knows? And then, like, an intern dug it up somehow one day.
Chelsea
I love that.
Sarah
Yeah.
Chelsea
It's so wild how much shit is just, like, lost or in some random box. That is so.
Sarah
Yeah.
Chelsea
Important to our collective knowledge.
Sarah
Sometimes the rumors are very close to the truth, actually. And it's a very interesting situation.
Chelsea
Collective memory can be a beautiful thing, and it can be a terrifying thing. So, yeah, goes either way. Like your personal memory, we're going to
Sarah
give you half a point for the Boston Marathon. And also I should point out, and we talk about this in the episode, that in 1966, Bobby Gibb completed the Boston Marathon. She ran unofficially on the course while it was happening. And Catherine Switzer registered as Kay Switzer in 1967 and ran the marathon. And also was there was at least an attempt to pull her off the course while she was running. Listen to the episode for more.
Chelsea
I love her. That's so cool.
Sarah
Yes.
Chelsea
Wow.
Sarah
So. And then it took another five years for women to be allowed to enter.
Miranda
Yeah.
Chelsea
Well, there you go. I. I would like to say all I did was use cultural and political context clues to come up with that date.
Sarah
So what do you think about the fact that you could guess that that date was that late 19, 1972 being the correct answer?
Chelsea
It was like we were only kind of creating co ed colleges and letting people into.
Sarah
Yeah.
Chelsea
These educational institutions, they were formally, not formerly, not allowed to be in. And you know, they're just like a lot of things were changing in the 60s. So I figured, know, let's go to the end of the decade and maybe they're letting someone in, but it is always just like three or four years later than I think. Like, I'm like, well, it couldn't, it has to be. It couldn't possibly be later than, than this. Right.
Sarah
It couldn't possibly. When I think it should be, as I like to point out, we had put human beings on the moon. Men, specifically.
Chelsea
Yeah.
Sarah
Before women were allowed to run 26 miles around Boston.
Chelsea
Yeah, absolutely.
Sarah
I mean, I guess they could do that on their own time and no one would arrest them, but you know what I mean. Okay. Who opened Al Capone's vault?
Chelsea
My darling Geraldo.
Sarah
Your darling Geraldo. Exactly.
Chelsea
I want to be like, come back to the light, dude. Like.
Sarah
Yeah.
Chelsea
I don't know.
Sarah
What's Heraldo's deal, Chelsea? In a nutshell?
Chelsea
I just, I don't know. I have a big soft spot for him, even though he's done so many bad things.
Sarah
I do too, in a weird way.
Chelsea
I know. I don't know what it is because
Sarah
he has unbridled enthusiasm.
Chelsea
I just, I would give him another chance.
Sarah
And, you know, and he's like, confessed to like, some pretty awful stuff, including sexual misconduct. And now I didn't know that.
Miranda
Fuck.
Sarah
I will say this about Geraldo. He was one of the only people who really sold the satanic panic hard, who then doubled Back in a very public way, like as a large public figure, and said I was wrong. I perhaps should not have done all of that.
Chelsea
Yeah, that was cool.
Sarah
Yeah.
Chelsea
Maybe that's part of where my somewhat unfounded feelings come from.
Sarah
I think that there's a lot of categories of human nature, and there are people who've done some pretty awful things who are able to admit what they've done.
Chelsea
That's something.
Sarah
Yeah, that is something. So, yeah. Geraldo Rivera opened Al Capone's Vault. It was a live special. There was supposed to be cool stuff in it, and. Well, there wasn't.
Chelsea
It's so shocking to me that they didn't open it secretly first.
Sarah
Yeah.
Chelsea
To see if it was worth opening. And then put on the pageantry.
Sarah
Well, you know, it's tv. It's a pure thing.
Chelsea
I know. I just feel like we. We wouldn't do that now. I feel like. But maybe we would.
Sarah
Yeah. I don't know. We would put it on a TikTok live.
Chelsea
I kind of think it was awesome that there was nothing in there. I think it taught us an important lesson, you know, I do, too.
Sarah
You can't meddle with history. Yeah. It taught us that when you have to things is probably what it taught us.
Chelsea
I guess so.
Sarah
Because we grew up in a TV world where that would be staged.
Chelsea
Absolutely. And just like that, sometimes there's nothing in there. Kind of like that part in Titanic where he opens the vault with the. You know, and there's just, like, a bunch of mud and garbage in there.
Sarah
Yeah. And that references Geraldo in that scene.
Chelsea
Oh, yeah. There you go.
Sarah
I always am annoyed that he doesn't pull up the sleeves on his beautiful sweater.
Chelsea
Oh, yeah. Fool. Paxton.
Sarah
Okay, let's see. You're doing great.
Chelsea
Thank you.
Sarah
Okay. Did people really pass out while seeing the Exorcist in theaters?
Chelsea
I mean, I'm gonna say I can't remember specifically, but I think. No, I think that that was a publicity stunt, but it's hard to say because it's like. Do we know for certain no one passed out? Because I know it was reported in the papers, but a lot was reported in the papers, especially when it comes to horror movies, because there are, like, a lot of showmen behind the scenes who are.
Sarah
Right. There's a lot of. Yeah, a lot of hype and a lot of, you know, promoters, which I love.
Chelsea
I love. I love.
Sarah
I love the gimmick, and we've talked about the William Castle gimmicks. And I was just watching one of my favorite MST3K movies, the Screaming Skull, where the gimmick is that if you die of fear while watching the movie, you get a free casket, which I think is quite a savings.
Chelsea
I love that. I know. And that is very. Yeah. Very Castle.
Sarah
Okay. So I always thought that, too. And then I did an episode on the Exorcist, and my guest Marlena Williams showed me a clip showing people actually passing out and talking about having passed out during the movie.
Chelsea
Okay.
Sarah
And so it did happen. Like, not en masse or anything, but it did happen to people. And it. And it is a lot less extreme when you see it.
Chelsea
Sure.
Sarah
Than when you hear about it, in a way, because I think it's also like people stumbling out of the theater feeling all shaky. And that was a movie if people haven't seen it. I do recommend it if horror is your thing, because it's not done in the vernacular of horror. It feels like a normal kind of 1970s drama about a family, and then it becomes horror. And I think that there was hype around it to the effect that it was so scary that you would feel like you were really seeing the devil.
Chelsea
Totally, totally. And it's so interesting, too, because, like, the idea of fainting is something that I've wanted to do an episode with you about that We've talked about, like, Victorian era fainting.
Sarah
I would love to talk about faint. Yeah. Because I wonder a lot about that and how much that's sort of a social construct about people getting more iron or something. Yeah.
Chelsea
And it, like, is, like, psychosomatic. It's weird. Yeah. It's like.
Sarah
Yeah.
Chelsea
I mean, I guess it would be psychosomatic regardless.
Sarah
Or the idea of, like, urgh, is remaining the same but being shaped by, like, you know, the culture of the times.
Chelsea
Last Halloween, we just did an episode about, like, the Exorcist with what Went Wrong, which is a fantastic movie related podcast. But I really do feel like I should have known that because I did a lot of research and I have forgotten. But, you know, I've done so many of these types of episodes around horror movies and around the PR and hype that it all kind of bleeds together.
Sarah
Yeah. Oh, yeah. And history keeps growing and changing, but
Chelsea
I love every minute of it. I just love horror movie publicity stunts. I love it.
Sarah
I do, too. That would be. I know you've done episodes that are about a lot of that, but that would be a fun thing to return to. Yeah.
Chelsea
It would be to kind of, like, have them all side by side rather than.
Sarah
Yeah.
Chelsea
You know, Episode based. Yeah.
Sarah
Yeah. Okay. Didn't Marie Antoinette say, let them eat cake?
Chelsea
Well, I sure hope so.
Sarah
Oh, yeah.
Chelsea
I mean, I just feel like that's so repeated, and it's making me think that the answer must be no, or else you wouldn't be asking it. I'm cheating.
Sarah
No, you're not. You're being strategic.
Chelsea
I'm gonna say no.
Sarah
Yeah, you're correct. She did not.
Chelsea
Hell, yeah.
Sarah
It was, like a phrase that had been passed around referring to royalty for, I think, at least 100 years. It had been applied to other people. It was the kind of thing that, like, felt true but was not actually true.
Chelsea
Okay, so it was being said.
Sarah
Yeah, it was said of other royals before her. It was kind of a thing that was, I think, applied to whatever royal was at hand when the economy got bad, which it was very bad during her reign. But she also, you know, and I love Antonia Fraser's biography of her that, you know, she's a great writer, and this explains it really well. I think that, like. Like, based on the structure of the royalty that she was in, she had no actual power and sort of socially no recognition as someone who should be governing in any way.
Chelsea
Sure, sure.
Sarah
And interestingly, if you read about, for example, Madame de Pompadour, I think during that time and previously, it was more acceptable for the king's mistress to advise on matters of state than for his wife to do so because her job was having babies.
Chelsea
Okay.
Sarah
And Ran Tonette appears to have been like, someone who, like, fundamentally had no role in government and had no idea how to fix anything, but was very sentimental and kind to people as individuals, much like Ronald Reagan.
Chelsea
I gotta bring an old Ronnie Reagan, don't we?
Sarah
Yep, we always do. That's the only Reagan reference you're gonna get.
Chelsea
All right.
Sarah
You can give me more. Oh, okay. Well, I don't have any, but maybe I'll find one. Okay, so great. Why don't you get a point for that?
Chelsea
I get a point for my strategic. Yeah, I mean, I think that that makes so much sense that it's, you know, it's like. Weren't you and I at the Lloyd center before it closed in Portland and there was.
Sarah
It hasn't closed yet. It's Gonna Close on August 8th. Please come before it does. Save the Lloyd ice rink.
Chelsea
Okay. We can go have, like, a back rooms moment.
Sarah
Yeah, please visit.
Chelsea
I loved it there. But no, it. It was like some ridiculous quote, and then it said that it was Marilyn Monroe or something like that, and we just immediately doesn't seem like she said that. And it's like, giant painted on the wall, and it's just so funny.
Sarah
Well, every quote has been attributed to Marilyn Monroe. Pain. I feel like you could see, like, a greeting card one day that says, like, I think, therefore I am Marilyn Monroe.
Chelsea
Which is so, like, random that Marilyn Monroe has become, like, quote, queen, the
Sarah
sage of our times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like the Buddha. I don't know.
Chelsea
Yeah, I'll take it.
Sarah
Okay, back to Tanya Harding for a second In a televised special on Fox. Who did Tonya Harding box?
Chelsea
Oh.
Sarah
In 2002. This is a boxing match between Tanya Harding and another woman.
Chelsea
I freaking know what you're talking about. I watched it.
Sarah
Tell me how it was.
Chelsea
Oh, oh, I'm not gonna remember.
Sarah
Oh, you're dying.
Chelsea
It's like I just actually wrote something about this.
Sarah
Think of the maligned women of the 90et 90s.
Chelsea
Can you give me a hint?
Miranda
Okay.
Sarah
Clinton.
Chelsea
Chelsea.
Sarah
Oh, you wish.
Chelsea
I know, right? That would be so amazing. Clinton. Is it Monica Lewinsky?
Sarah
No, there's no way. But great guess. I mean, that would be. Monica's a little bit too much of an indoor girl for that, I suspect.
Chelsea
Clinton. Clinton. Clinton.
Miranda
I don't know.
Chelsea
I don't think I'm gonna get it.
Sarah
Okay. Paula Jones.
Chelsea
Oh, wow. Okay. No, I wouldn't have ever guessed that, I don't think. But I did watch it when it came out.
Sarah
How was it?
Chelsea
I don't remember. Well, because I came. It was. I was, like, 12.
Sarah
This has been very informative. Yeah. I'll tell you what. Tonya Harding just dominated in that match.
Chelsea
Oh, I bet.
Sarah
Yeah. Because she was boxing at the time, which is very impressive generally. And also because she had as asthma.
Miranda
Wow.
Sarah
And still does.
Miranda
Wow.
Sarah
Polly Jones being someone who was involved in what we in the 90s called a sex scandal, which in this case meant that she had made credible allegations of sexual assault against Bill Clinton. And so we thought, hey, let's make him box wild.
Chelsea
So very. Like you said, it was the year 2000. Right.
Sarah
2002.
Chelsea
2002. Wow. Wow.
Sarah
We're gonna give you half a point for saying Monica Lewinsky. All right, all right. We did an episode on Clinton and Lewinsky and a little bit of Paula Jones long ago on the show. And you can listen to that one, too. I'm giving you some summer recommendations as part of what I'm after here.
Chelsea
Yeah. Revisit these. So good.
Sarah
Speaking of past episodes, we did one on the exploding Pinto. A lot of these. As many of you already know are with Michael Hobbs, who is, I hope, having a day by the pool as we speak.
Chelsea
I hope so, too.
Sarah
The Pinto is the much maligned alleged exploding car. Listen to the episode. But regardless of how the story goes, I think you can agree it has nothing on the cyber truck, which is made of knives and also catches on fire. And also that allegedly raccoons have tried to break into because it looks like a dumpster.
Chelsea
Really? That's so funny. What a dumb bitch.
Sarah
I love it. So what year did the Pinto, which is a little economy car, go into production?
Chelsea
1970.
Sarah
Yes.
Chelsea
What?
Sarah
Yes. Wow.
Chelsea
That was a pretty wild guess.
Sarah
I'm gonna give you two points for that, for how quickly you pulled that out of wherever you did.
Chelsea
I knew that, like, that whole controversy happened in the 70s, but I didn't know when it, like, went into production.
Sarah
Well, you did great. Yeah, it was first produced in the. In late 1970. The first model year was 1971.
Chelsea
If there's one thing I know, it's exploding.
Sarah
Yeah. Gosh, that's true. Okay, Kelsey, guess what. You have five minutes remaining on the clock.
Chelsea
Okay. All right.
Sarah
All right, we're entering the lightning Lightning round.
Chelsea
Okay, I'm ready.
Sarah
All right, Kelsey, for the next minute, I want you to name maligned women. Go.
Chelsea
Tanya Harding. Monica Lewinsky.
Sarah
Yes. Good.
Chelsea
Oh, dear. Oh, this is where I do not thrive. This is insane. Oh, no.
Sarah
Just breathe.
Chelsea
Being timed.
Sarah
Just let your mind drift through the 90s.
Chelsea
Okay,
Sarah
you have 30 seconds.
Chelsea
This is so fucked up.
Sarah
Think about various women who were hot back then and I still know.
Chelsea
I know. I mean, Britney Spears.
Sarah
Yes. Good.
Chelsea
Okay, great, great. Oh, I'm going back into pop. Okay, Britney spears. Let's say JLo for that dress.
Sarah
Yeah. Let's say 10 seconds.
Chelsea
So dark. Wow. Oh, my God.
Sarah
Okay, you can do one more. One more, one more.
Chelsea
Put me out of my freaking misery right now. This is so bad. I panic. I panic. Jlo. Where did that come from? I know. I'm saying, like, what was that freaking Jayla like? You were.
Sarah
You were trying. You were going for it. Okay, we're gonna. Look, look, Listen, Chelsea, we're gonna give you three and a half points because I think Shayla might be a stretch.
Chelsea
Lindsay Lohan. Yeah, there you go. You know what?
Sarah
Yeah.
Chelsea
Mary Kate Olsen. Mary Kate Olsen. Mary Kate Olsen. Mary Kate Olsen.
Sarah
Yep.
Chelsea
Ashley didn't catch any heat.
Sarah
Not. Yeah, I mean, I would say some, but not nearly as much, somehow. Okay, you know what? Full point for JLo. I'm going to give you six points okay. Incredible.
Chelsea
Make it seem like I did better producers.
Miranda
All right.
Sarah
Okay. Now, we got a couple minutes. I'm going to ask you. How about. Well, however many more questions we can do might just be one.
Miranda
Okay.
Sarah
What year did the first state criminalize stalking? The first state in the United States
Chelsea
of America criminalized stalking.
Sarah
When did stalking become a crime?
Chelsea
I want to say, like, 1980. Is that, like, so far off?
Sarah
It's not that far off.
Miranda
Okay.
Sarah
It's farther off than I would like, though.
Chelsea
Okay. I'm thinking then maybe even later, like, 90. 1990.
Sarah
Yes, 1990.
Chelsea
Oh, great. Okay. That's a good point, baby.
Sarah
Yeah.
Chelsea
I mean, that's absolutely unhinged, as most things are when you ask when they started.
Sarah
Pertaining to women, particularly, of course.
Chelsea
Absolutely.
Sarah
Sexual assault and prosecution thereof. Of. And what state? Would you guess?
Chelsea
O. What state? California.
Sarah
Yes.
Chelsea
Awesome.
Sarah
Yep. And it was illegal everywhere. Every state had some kind of a law. By 1994, it was also criminalized federally. I don't know if criminalized is quite the right term, but you know what I mean?
Chelsea
Great job, guys.
Sarah
Yeah. But, yeah, before 1990 or before the late 80s, we were like, go.
Chelsea
Go for it. Go, Ham.
Sarah
Just follow women around. What bad could come of it? So just to say that the rights we have are inalienable or whatever, but we need the law to reflect that as well. And a lot of things aren't there that should be there, but we have to put them there. Let's get out there and have some fun. I want to see energy.
Chelsea
Hell, yeah.
Sarah
And okay. All right, final question.
Chelsea
Gulp.
Sarah
We all know that Long island teenager Amy Fisher once shot Long island housewife Mary Jo Buttafuoco for reasons that we explore in our episode on Amy Fisher, who is very maligned and who was just a teenager.
Miranda
Yeah.
Sarah
And whose surprise was abused by an adult man. Oh.
Chelsea
I'd like to add Lorena Babbitt back to my maligned women.
Sarah
Oh, you just get to add maligned women in whenever you feel like it now. Okay. Bobbitt, by the way.
Miranda
All right.
Sarah
I think of that case whenever I see a big bite container. No, no, you get seven. You get seven. Guess for spunkiness. You get seven.
Chelsea
I'm thinking of Jamie Babbitt, famous lesbian director.
Sarah
Oh, yeah, but I'm a cheerleader, right?
Chelsea
That's right.
Sarah
What a legend. Okay. Many years later, Mary Jo Buttafuoco, the wife of Joey Buttafuoco, the man who had been abusing Amy Fisher, wrote a memoir. What was that memoir called?
Chelsea
I mean, I have no idea. Let's see, I'm gonna come up with, like, a good memoir name, so. And it's not like, my story, my life. Let's see. Picking up the pieces.
Sarah
Oh, that's very good.
Chelsea
All right, what do we got? I have no idea.
Sarah
Okay. All right. Getting it through my thick skull.
Miranda
Wow.
Sarah
Why I stayed, what I learned, and what millions of people involved with sociopaths need to know.
Miranda
Wow.
Sarah
God bless this woman.
Chelsea
Seriously. That's cool. I would have never got. That was a very long title that I wouldn't have gotten, but that is.
Sarah
Oh, And I expected you to divine it with your knowledge of the spirit
Chelsea
world, but I love it.
Sarah
I'm gonna give you half a point for guessing. Okay. Kelsey, I think you did amazing.
Chelsea
That's really generous of you and I appreciate that.
Sarah
Well, I had a really fun conversation.
Chelsea
It was really fun. And, yeah, I mean, it's like one of those things where, like, I research until my soul is like one of those little guys in the Little Mermaid, you know, in Ursula's cave.
Sarah
Oh, yeah.
Chelsea
And then I forget it all because it just don't fit.
Sarah
No, it don't all fit.
Chelsea
But I am better at, like, the context clues. Like, I can use my knowledge of history to pinpoint where I would think that something happened. But then if I'm being timed about much maligned women, which I care deeply about, it just all. It just. It's like. It's like there's a towel stuffed in my brain and there's no room. I just freak out. But thank you. This was so fun, regardless, and very humbling. And I'll definitely be back when you want to have me. Or maybe I'll make up some for you. Yeah, you can go through this. You're going to be good at it, though.
Sarah
Would you like to hear how you did?
Chelsea
Yeah, you're going to be good at it.
Sarah
Well, guess what?
Chelsea
You're gonna be better than me at it.
Sarah
Okay, but, Chelsea, relax, because remember how you had a possible 20 points?
Chelsea
Okay, yes, you have scored 20 and
Sarah
a half points,
Chelsea
so that means I win.
Sarah
Yeah, you do. And we get to high five with gunpowder in our hands.
Chelsea
Oh, fun. Okay, that's great. And also, I'd like to say, Sarah, if you feel too scared to do it, I won't make you do it.
Sarah
No, I'll do it.
Chelsea
I promise you'll be okay.
Sarah
But then no one gets to pop a balloon around me for the next 10 years.
Chelsea
It's a rule.
Sarah
I don't pop balloons. I like to put a pin in them and Deflate them gently.
Chelsea
Oh, yeah, of course. I definitely can see that.
Sarah
Uncle Mo, my teeth hurt. My sodi is too cold. Yeah, go on.
Chelsea
I feel like I'll pop a balloon if I wanted to be quiet. Just like with my teeth.
Sarah
Wow.
Chelsea
And you just kind of section it off. Like you do it right at the little. The little nipple.
Sarah
You're like Davy Crockett.
Chelsea
Yep, that's right.
Sarah
Born on a mountaintop in Tennessee. Bit off balloons with only his teeth.
Chelsea
I am the king of the wild frontier. That's right. That's right.
Sarah
Kill you a bear when you were only three.
Chelsea
I, like, had next door neighbors when I was growing up who had, like, very Christian parents. So we were not allowed to watch. We weren't allowed to watch Rugrats at their house because one time we saw a baby's bottom. That's insane.
Sarah
Insane.
Chelsea
That. I know.
Sarah
I know.
Chelsea
It was insane. It's the same.
Sarah
Religious kids are being forced to take care of infants all the time.
Chelsea
No kidding. I know, but it's like, not a cartoon. Not.
Sarah
Not Tommy Pickles, but how many infants equal a baby? Yeah.
Chelsea
So we had to only watch that movie, the Disney. Oh, Davy Crockett movie.
Sarah
Wow.
Chelsea
And yet I remember nothing about it.
Sarah
You know, I confused Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone, and it's very confusing because I think they both killed bears. Probably
Chelsea
sounds right.
Sarah
So, Chelsea, you have a record setting 20.5 points out of 20 of an A plus. What are you gonna do with the rest of your day?
Chelsea
You were, let's say, very generous in the points that you gave me, and I. I think you wanted me to win, and I appreciate that.
Sarah
I did want you to win.
Chelsea
What am I doing? I'm gonna barbecue.
Sarah
Oh, that's lovely.
Chelsea
Barbecue some veggie dogs with some friends of mine. I have some friends here. I just got my very first real tattoos from the amazing.
Sarah
I'm the only untattooed person on the planet Earth.
Chelsea
Yeah, I know. And it's from my good friend who is an art. An incredible artist, Christopher Michael Hefner. Check out his art. And he gave me a horseshoe with my. With the word grandpa under it and a rose with the word granny under it. That was my. I just want to, you know, get. Have memorial tattoos of my two favorite people that are no longer with us. So that was a lovely thing I just did. And now we're all going to hang and eat some veggie dogs and a little pasta salad that Miranda's going to make. It all comes full circle.
Sarah
Chelsea, what's wrong. You have hardly touched your pasta. I'm obsessed with being like your Hugh Grant boyfriend character now. I just really love that.
Chelsea
I like it. You're gonna have to be really, like, bumbling and, like, very overwhelmed at all times.
Sarah
Well, I think I'm, like, so upper crust that I. I just.
Chelsea
I'm utterly bewitched by you. You sounded a little like cockney just now.
Sarah
I'm trying.
Chelsea
We need to work on your queens.
Sarah
I'm just, like, piecing this accent together from like, a thousand different Midsummer murders. Does anyone in your family watch Midsummer Murders?
Chelsea
I bet my granny did.
Sarah
Yep. Yeah, my mom has watched every Midsummer murder. It's about a lovely, well adjusted man who investigates murders in tiny English villages, which, as we all know, have eight murders a week generally. And he's extremely well adjusted. And he has a wife who I think is named Joyce, and they just have a nice time. He's just like, well, another eight murders.
Chelsea
Sounds boring.
Sarah
It's great, though. There's something, I think, I assume that this is not just a genre convention, but a true thing about the British soul that, like, when everyone is being murdered around, you're like, well, gotta have a cuppa.
Chelsea
That's absolutely true. In my family. We all are. Yes. We are all tea drinkers.
Sarah
I think that was basically how World War II worked.
Chelsea
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Much tea to be had.
Sarah
Out of curiosity.
Chelsea
Yes.
Sarah
Because I would love for you to have me on for an American Hysteria lightning round and ask questions of, like, you know, topics that are the kind of thing your show handles and also that have come up on your episodes. What is a sample maybe of the questions that you have for me?
Chelsea
Okay.
Sarah
Okay. Kelsey, I love your questions.
Chelsea
Okay. All right, all right, all right, let me think. Oh, I got one that you could maybe get yet, because we've both done episodes about this.
Sarah
All right.
Chelsea
What year did the Oscar streaking happen?
Sarah
Oh, my gosh. Oh, Lord. 1973. I think it was 74.
Chelsea
It was 74. Yep.
Sarah
Yes.
Chelsea
Which I say is the year everything happened.
Sarah
That is the year everything happened.
Chelsea
Yeah. I have a theory about 1974 as a banner year.
Sarah
Yeah, I think that's probably true. Great.
Chelsea
So, yeah, great. You were, like, right there. You know, I feel like that's the full point.
Sarah
It's uncanny.
Miranda
Really?
Sarah
Yeah.
Chelsea
You did a great job.
Sarah
Thank you.
Chelsea
Kelsey, what are you gonna do?
Sarah
I'm gonna take a big walk and I'm gonna finish listening to Joe Mantegna read Get Shorty.
Chelsea
Oh, great.
Sarah
Yeah.
Chelsea
You've been doing some great reading.
Sarah
Lately, I've been doing some great reading, and I include audiobooks in that, which is 90% of my reading. Reading.
Chelsea
Audiobooks count. Don't let anyone tell you they don't.
Sarah
They do. They have. I. Yeah. And I'm telling that for people who may think they don't. They do.
Chelsea
I'm a kinetic learner, you know, what
Sarah
does that mean exactly?
Chelsea
Like, I need to be moving. I learn better if I'm, like, moving at the same time.
Sarah
Yeah, me too. Yes, I agree with that.
Chelsea
It's like learning by doing.
Miranda
Totally.
Chelsea
Which is not exact. I don't know if it's exactly the right word for this, but I'm using it.
Sarah
Yeah, I'll take it. All right. Yeah. And I. I don't know. I enjoy doing this with you. I. It was fun to kind of revisit past top and think about little bits of them that I find interesting as facts that have been sort of forgotten or misremembered or the type of thing that is easily misremembered. And I've been doing the show, and you and I have been. You've been coming on the show for a long time, and the show has existed for eight years now. Yeah. Somehow.
Miranda
Somehow.
Sarah
And I love, as you know, misinformation. Find so many ways to travel faster and bigger. Just continuing to talk about. About stuff with you and talk about facts and also to talk about how we need to give ourselves some credit as people who do get tricked sometimes, partly because everyone is trying to trick us.
Chelsea
Yeah. Yep. Absolutely.
Sarah
And then there's human error, and that's a big one, too. But we're just. I don't know. I really enjoy this kind of, like, nostalgic approach. And I love doing shows with you. I love the Patreon episodes we've done recently on dolls and doll culture.
Chelsea
It's been really fun. Fun.
Sarah
And mail we've received from people about things they made into dolls as a kid. I also wanted to say, just generally, to thank anyone who's supporting us on Patreon or Apple plus, which I find awkward to say because it's like Apple plus subscriptions, and for a long time I did not know where the plus went. But to thank anyone who's supporting us and also anyone who's not supporting us, because everything costs $10 million. And I. I'm honored and amazed that we still have people who want to pay to support this podcast and thank you for doing it. And also, if you have to cancel, that's always okay.
Chelsea
Absolutely.
Sarah
You gotta put food on your Family. To quote George W. Bush, you're all stars. You're all stars.
Chelsea
You're on the select softball team. Of you're wrong about.
Sarah
Of.
Miranda
Blank.
Sarah
West. Of. You're wrong about west. Wow, wow, wow.
Chelsea
I never thought I'd be able to talk about that team publicly.
Sarah
You're really breaking boundaries. I can only hear that song in a Cartman voice.
Chelsea
That's funny.
Sarah
Let me take you to the W. Wicked, wicked wild, wild west Stay, stay away from the lightning strikes. Chelsea, have a good night.
Chelsea
Can't wait to slap palms with you and watch our hands explode.
Miranda
Oh, no.
Chelsea
Thank you, Sarah.
Sarah
Thank you, Chelsea.
Miranda
And that is our episode. Thank you so much for listening and thank you for playing along. If I could have one wish, it would be to hear all of you listing maligned women for 30 seconds. And by the way, if you enjoyed
Sarah
our previous episode where.
Miranda
Where we asked you to send in voice memos about what you love, we're
Sarah
doing another one like that.
Miranda
We have a Halloween listener special coming up. As you probably know, we are a pretty Halloweeny show. We like to do something to commemorate the occasion every year. And this year we decided to ask you for your Halloween stories and reminiscences and also for any scary, spooky stories that you might have, however you interpret that prompt. We want to hear wholesome Halloween. We want to hear what you remember about growing up with whatever Halloween is like for you and your family, your community. And also, if you want to send us a scary story to tell in the dark, send us that too. We're taking them all, so send us a voice memo, three minutes or less. I recommend using the voice memo app on the iPhone or the equivalent on whatever phone you have. Just hold it up about a hand's length away from your face. And I know it's hard to keep it down to three minutes or under, but we just gotta listen to them all and it's the only way we can do it. So send that to sloppyandalivemail.com S, L O P P Y A N D A L I v e all1wordmail.com and we will listen, listen to them all and love them all. And then we will put together an episode with some of our favorites and put it out at Halloween. And we can't wait to hear your stories and your memories. And please get those to us by the end of August, which I think is a pretty scary month as well, because, I don't know, it's. It's. When the Texas Chainsaw Massacre takes place, It's a scary time. If you want to listen to our bonus episodes, of course you can always do that at apple+ and on patreon patreon.com yarrongabout and in our current episode, me and Kitchen correspondent Sarah Archer are reading your letters about cake and a good time is had by all. Thank you to Kelsey Weber Smith for getting into my Saw Trap with me. Listen to American Hysteria and get it wherever you find good podcasts. Thank you to the people who helped make this show. Miranda Zickler is our producer and editor and Nicole Ortiz is our administrative assistant. And thank you for listening, for being here, and for being exactly who you are. We'll see you in two weeks.
Host: Sarah Marshall
Guest: Chelsey Weber-Smith
Release Date: July 28, 2026
Episode Theme: A fast-paced quiz episode where Sarah challenges Chelsey to a “lightning round” of pop culture, history, and infamously “miscast” moments and figures, riffing on the show’s trademark blend of nostalgia, pop culture, and myth-busting. The quiz becomes a springboard for banter, storytelling, and commentary on maligned women and misunderstood events.
This “lightning round” episode is a playful, rapid-fire trivia game between host Sarah Marshall and returning guest (and American Hysteria host) Chelsey Weber-Smith. Through 20 wide-ranging questions, the two explore notorious scandals, misunderstood moments, and recurring tropes the podcast specializes in—often pausing to unravel deeper historical and cultural myths. The quiz format prompts both laughter and digression, leading to a reflection on the role of misremembered facts, collective myths, and the experience of being “maligned” by culture or history.
[00:00–05:00]
[05:00–10:30]
[11:01]
Sarah: “What temperature approximately was the hot coffee Stella Liebeck spilled on herself in the infamous McDonald's hot coffee case of the 1990s?”
Chelsey (guesses): “I want to say, like, 150... 200.”
Sarah: “That’s very close. It was estimated at 180 to 190 degrees.”
[12:09]
[12:42]
Sarah: “Who won the gold in ladies figure skating that year?”
Chelsey (guesses): “Nancy [Kerrigan].”
Sarah: “She got silver. The gold went to Oksana Bayul.”
[17:04]
Sarah: “Name three ‘trials of the century.’”
Chelsey: “Leopold and Loeb, OJ, Menendez Brothers?... Maybe Lizzie Borden? Or Patty Hearst?”
Sarah explains the term’s history and mentions Scopes, Sacco & Vanzetti, and Sam Shepard as other examples.
[21:34]
[22:12]
Sarah: “Why does Rosemary’s husband make a deal with the Satanists next door?”
Chelsey (guesses): “Wanting a baby?... money?... property?”
Sarah: “Neither. He does it for respect as an actor—not for money or necessity, but so he can be taken seriously off-Broadway.”
Chelsey: “It’s so real and so yucky... more annoying than just wanting money!”
[24:07]
[27:52]
Sarah: “How many of Henry VIII’s wives did he have executed?”
Chelsey: “Four?... Two.”
Sarah: “Yes, that’s correct. The mnemonic: Divorced, beheaded, died / Divorced, beheaded, survived.”
[29:01]
[30:19]
Sarah: “What was the first year a woman officially competed in the Boston Marathon?”
Chelsey: “1968?...”
Sarah: “It was 1972. And it’s always later than we think.”
Chelsey, about historical rights: “It’s always just three or four years later than I think.”
[31:07]
[36:03]
Sarah: “Who opened Al Capone’s vault?”
Chelsey: “My darling Geraldo!”
Sarah: “He was one of the only people from the satanic panic to publicly recant.”
Brief musing on Geraldo’s “unbridled enthusiasm” and penchant for confession.
[47:47]
Sarah: “Name maligned women, go!”
Chelsey: “Tonya Harding, Monica Lewinsky, Britney Spears, JLo, Lindsay Lohan, Mary Kate Olsen.”
Sarah tallies up the answers, offering “full point for JLo.”
[49:42]
[50:04]
Sarah: “What year did the first state criminalize stalking?”
Chelsey: “1980?... 1990.”
Sarah: “Yes, 1990. California.”
Commentary: The shock at how recently stalking became a crime, and how protections, especially for women, lag behind.
[52:21]
Sarah: “What was her memoir called?”
Chelsey (inventing): “Picking Up the Pieces.”
Sarah: “Getting It Through My Thick Skull: Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know.”
On accidental deep dives:
“This is like a fiction writer when it’s like, way too much detail. They’re like, we passed 1, 2, 3 Sycamore Street.” – Chelsea (02:46)
On collective memory:
“Sometimes the rumors are very close to the truth, actually.” – Sarah (34:14)
On misremembered rights:
“I mean, that’s absolutely unhinged, as most things are when you ask when they started. Pertaining to women, particularly, of course.” – Chelsea (50:33–50:38)
On maligned women:
“I just, it’s like there’s a towel stuffed in my brain and there’s no room... It’s like all the stuff I care about just evaporates under pressure.” – Chelsea (53:57)
On learning and memory:
“I am better at, like, the context clues... but then if I’m being timed about much maligned women, which I care deeply about... it’s like there’s a towel stuffed in my brain and there’s no room.” – Chelsea (53:54)
On misinformation and nostalgia:
“I love, as you know, misinformation... and to talk about how we need to give ourselves some credit as people who do get tricked sometimes, partly because everyone is trying to trick us.” – Sarah (61:26)
[54:32–end]
This episode epitomizes the spirit of You’re Wrong About: myth-busting as a means for cultural connection, a celebration of collective memory, and the joy of unearthing the reality behind misunderstood stories—always with laughter, humility, and compassion. Even when the facts are surprising, embarrassing, or sobering, the process is collaborative and affirming—a model for generosity in curiosity and friendship.
For further listening:
Notable Sarah Marshall Sign-off:
"I love, as you know, misinformation. [...] We need to give ourselves some credit as people who do get tricked, sometimes, partly because everyone is trying to trick us." (61:26–61:49)