You're Wrong About – "The Dictionary Wars! with Gabe Henry"

Host: Sarah Marshall
Guest: Gabe Henry
Date: November 11, 2025

Overview

In this episode, Sarah Marshall is joined by Gabe Henry, author of Enough Is Enough: Our Failed Attempts to Make English Easier to Spell, to dive into the surprisingly dramatic history of dictionaries and spelling reform in English. Together, they unpack the "Dictionary Wars" – a centuries-long, distinctly petty but consequential feud over how American English should be codified and who gets to decide what “correct” English is. Through witty banter and memorable anecdotes, Sarah and Gabe explore how language evolves, why Americans spell things differently from the British, and how obsession and ego shaped the English dictionaries we use today.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Heritage of English: A Buffet of Languages

• English’s roots are global: “I guess the simple answer is [we got it] from everywhere, wherever we could get it...English is more like eight languages in a trench coat.” (Gabe, 05:19-06:02)
• English is an amalgamation due to centuries of invasions, making its logic (and spelling) delightfully inconsistent.

2. The Simplified Spelling Movement

• Gabe’s book focus: Explores historic efforts to rationalize English spelling, championed by figures like Benjamin Franklin and Noah Webster. Spelling reforms like “enough” → “enuf” never caught on with the public.
• The challenge: “I don’t think it’s practical for us to...artificially tweak the language in this conscious way.” (Gabe, 04:16)
  Language evolution is messy and organic, not something authorities can easily direct.

3. Word Origins, Americanisms, and British Disdain

• Early American coinages and slang (e.g., skunk, canoe, eggnog, cookie) were dismissed by Brits as “barbaric.”
• Linguistic evolution is cyclical: “Every slang is laughable in its first iteration.” (Gabe, 09:28)
• Fun digression into the appeal of new slang (“riz,” “bimbo”) and the ambiguity of word meanings.

4. Samuel Johnson: England Strikes Back

• Samuel Johnson’s dictionary (1755): An attempt to standardize English, preserve British superiority, and fend off American linguistic influence.
  • Famously biased: “I am willing to love all mankind except an American.” (Samuel Johnson quote, 14:40)
  • Glosses full of barbs at Americans and Scots.
  • Notable definitions: “Oats: A grain which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people.” (22:01)
• Johnson’s approach reflects the obsessive, solitary nature of early lexicographers – “A lot of them have been diagnosed...as having OCD.” (Gabe, 17:46)

5. Noah Webster: America’s Lexical Revolution

• Webster’s goal: To elevate American English, severing cultural ties to Britain without replacing English entirely.
• Early spelling reforms: Respelling “laugh” as “laf,” among others, universally rejected, partly because “most of his peers don’t like him” and “he just rubbed a lot of people the wrong way.” (Gabe, 33:39)
• Notable contemporary insult: “Half begotten self dubbed patriot.” (Gabe, 34:05)
• Ultimate triumph: Webster's later work (American Dictionary of the English Language, 1828) sneaks in many spelling reforms (“color” vs. “colour,” “center” vs. “centre”), cementing American English conventions with less public backlash.

6. The Dictionary Feud: Webster vs. Worcester

• Joseph Worcester emerges as Webster’s primary American rival: he prefers traditional British spellings, countering Webster’s reforms.
• Allegations and pettiness: Webster (and later his successors, the Merriam brothers) accused Worcester of plagiarism, possibly even writing anonymous attacks themselves.
  • “Webster was known to publish rave reviews of his own work under anonymous authorship.” (Gabe, 52:05)
• Feuds escalated via pamphlets, public letters, and competing dictionaries, culminating with the Merriams’ triumph after Worcester’s death.

7. Commercial Stakes and Legacy

• Big dictionary money: “In the 1800s, Webster’s Dictionary sells tens of millions of copies...If you’re the authoritative dictionary, you’re in every school classroom.” (Gabe, 63:29)
• The Merriam-Webster name persists through legal battles and trademark genericization.
  • “Anyone can publish their own dictionary and call it Webster’s.” (Gabe, 65:13)
• The podcast ends with a playful pitch for “Sarah Marshall’s Webster’s Dictionary of Made Up Words.”

8. The Joy and Futility of Obsession

• Obsession as a creative force: Many lexicographers were eccentric, obsessive, and sometimes unpleasant, but their relentless pursuit paradoxically led to lasting influence (even when their reforms failed).
• “I love the futility of it. There’s just something poetic and beautiful...about being really in love with a project that doesn’t work out.” (Gabe, 67:47)
• Language as a living entity: always evolving, sometimes wielded as a tool for oppression, but mostly a source of joy, creativity, and collective identity.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On English’s mongrel roots:
  “I tend to think of [English] more as, like, eight languages in a trench coat.”
  —Gabe, (06:02)

• On obsessive lexicographers:
  “When Samuel Johnson was anxious or bored, he would obsessively count lines of Latin poetry...Noah Webster...would obsessively count the houses of every new city that he visited.”
  —Gabe, (17:46)

• On early American English: “It’s almost like the language is going through an adolescent rebellion, in a way.”
  —Sarah, (13:11)

• On Noah Webster’s personality:
  “Most of his peers don’t like him.”
  —Gabe, (33:39)

• On failed spelling reforms:
  “I ain’t yet quite ripe for your orthography.”
  —Ezra Stiles (Webster’s brother-in-law), quoted by Gabe, (33:21)

• Insults of the 18th century:
  “There was a New Yorker article...where someone who knew Jared Kushner at Harvard called him a snaky motherfucker. And I think that every time I see him and have for nine years.”
  —Sarah, (34:24)

• On the limits of language reform:
  “People are really tied...to tradition and identity, and these are things that people just don’t like changing.”
  —Gabe, (38:39)

• On the enduring power of language:
  “Language is about so many things that have to do with our culture, and it’s about access and literacy and identity and communication.”
  —Gabe, (69:31)

• On the joy of language and creation:
  “If the project is enough to give your life shape and meaning, maybe it’s in a way better to not become successful and then end up having some kind of weird feud that lasts beyond your own death.”
  —Sarah, (68:34)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [03:09] Gabe introduces his book and the simplified spelling movement.
• [06:49] The Dictionary Wars: Enter Samuel Johnson and early Americanisms.
• [14:40] Johnson’s anti-American bias and quote.
• [16:41] What compiling a dictionary was like in the 18th century.
• [21:11] The size and impact of Johnson’s dictionary.
• [33:32] Webster’s radical spelling reforms and public backlash.
• [39:42] The 25-year saga of writing Webster’s American Dictionary.
• [44:17] The American spellings Webster “smuggled” in.
• [49:38] Rise of Joseph Worcester and the feud with Webster.
• [54:18] The year-long public “letter war” in newspapers.
• [57:32] After Webster: The Merriam brothers and the war for dictionary supremacy.
• [64:35] The “Webster’s” trademark and modern consequences.
• [66:43] Gabe reflects on falling in love with eccentrics of language history.
• [70:04] Sarah and Gabe on the lasting joys and ironies of language change.

Final Thoughts

Gabe and Sarah turn what could be a dry topic – dictionary feuds – into a lively, revealing exploration of how language, culture, and individual quirks shape what we read and write today. The episode offers not just history but a meditation on creativity, the futility and beauty of big projects, and the endless fun of English words.

For fans of history, language, and the delightfully petty, this is an essential listen.