← Youth Inc. with Greg Olsen
Youth Inc. with Greg Olsen
Abby Wambach & Julie Foudy on Raising Independent Kids in a Hyper-Watched World
00:55:48
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- [00:00]
A
Youth sports in America are at a crossroads, and I'm here to help lead the conversation forward. I'm Greg Olson. Each week we're sitting down with top athletes, coaches and more to talk about what's working, what's broken, and what's next. Welcome to you think. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to another episode here on you Think. And I have to just start out by saying something. So as for all the guests that we've had on here, and we've had super bowl champions, we've had hall of Famers, we've had some of the most famous people in the world of sports. As I dove into the bios, of course, two people that I'm familiar with, I've cheered for, I've watched on tv. I'm not sure if we've had two guests accomplish as much as our two guests today. Julie Foudy, Abby Wambach, two of the most accomplished athletes in all sports, but, of course, well known for Olympic gold medals, college All Americans, professional. We could go on and on about your bio, but Amy, Abby, Julie, I can't thank you guys enough for. For being here today with us on you think.
- [01:05]
B
Oh, that was nice. Thanks, Greg.
- [01:09]
A
I can tell you, I. We are big, like, Olympic people in our house. Like, we love cheering. It could be the American rowing team, team sports we've never even watched before. But of course, men's and women's soccer, swimming, like, the ones that everyone rallies around. I can, like, picture watching the US Women's, whether it's World Cup, Olympic like, and screaming at the top of our lungs. In our household, we don't have soccer players. My daughter doesn't play soccer. But we have always, like, followed you guys. Julie, we watch you on TV now, like, all of your broadcasting stuff. I respect as a now broadcaster myself, so I can't tell you how much respect we have for both you, Abby and Julie and everything you guys have accomplished.
- [01:53]
B
Really nice.
- [01:54]
C
Yeah. So sweet. Thanks for having us on. Really appreciate it.
- [01:57]
A
I want to hear a little bit about the work that you guys are doing. And, you know, I looked, you know, familiar with. Welcome to the party. Obviously, Billie Jean King, one of the most iconic sports figures in U. S. History. Just talk a little bit about your show with her and the three of you kind of yucking it up and telling fun stories and diving into kind of your world and your craziness of all the things you guys have experienced in sports.
- [02:20]
C
Jules.
- [02:20]
B
Go on, Abigail.
- [02:21]
C
All right, well, so just a little background, a little context of, like, how this Whole thing started. Julie had a podcast of her own called Laughter Permitted. I've had a podcast of my own, not in sports, but it's called We Can Do Hard Things. And.
- [02:40]
I have taken kind of like a 10 year break from sports. I really wanted to dive into other things. I wanted to be a really present parent. My youngest is going to college playing soccer actually in July of 2026. And I started to get a little bit panicked because I thought, what the hell am I going to do now? I'm going to be an empty nester. I need to, I want to, I want to. I want to stay involved and do things. And I realized I missed sports. I missed women's sports in a real big way. But I did need the time off. So Julie and I are both part owners of the Angel City FC team here in Los Angeles for the NWSL League. And at the very first game this last season, when we, we both went, we were getting recognized. They were recognizing some of us old farts at the game. And when I showed up, Billie Jean King also happened to be there because she's also a minority owner like Julie and I. And the three of us found ourselves in a room quietly with each other. And on the way to the game, I said to my wife, Glennon, and I said, I think I want to start a women's sports podcast. I want to get back into women's sports. She said, oh, you. You should. That, like, sounds so fun, you know. So fast forward 30 minutes, I'm in this room with Julie and Billy, and I walk straight up to Julie, and I said, do you want to start a women's sports podcast with me? And Julie was like, yeah, that's so weird. I was just talking about this with Billy. So it was just like this weird kind of kismet moment where the three of us found ourselves in the same moment, wonder about podcasting about women's sports. And it's true that women's sports needs more women podcasters, especially women podcasters who have experience playing women's sports, right? And to me, and I can speak for Julie, like, to do anything with Billie Jean King is a dream. And so we figured out and found a way to do this. And we put a lot of time and effort planning and prepping for it. And now we're in our, like, second month of recording and putting episodes out. They drop every Tuesday and Thursday. It's been a dream come true. Julie has really brought me back to life and brought me back to joy because women's sports is so much about joy. But Jules, what's your perspective?
- [05:06]
B
Yeah, it was Greg. It was so crazy because there's, you know, getting like a quiet moment with the Kinger, as we call her Billie Jean King, is impossible given that woman. Like, everyone wants to say hi to her and take a picture with her as, you know, like, she's just like the thread that runs through all of women's sports. She's such an icon and a legend. And so we're having this really quiet moment in this suite. No one's in the suite because it's pregame and. And Abby comes bounding up like the puppy that she is and is like, what's up? You guys want to do a podcast? Is crazy. So we, we do laugh about that. And.
- [05:47]
As Abby said, to be able to do this with the most iconic woman we know in women's sports is a gift, really. And we really want to archive her voice and her stories and, you know, she just turned 82 this past weekend, November 22nd. Sorry, I won't put a timestamp on you. She just turned 82 and yet she every day goes to bed, like, excited on what she's gonna do the next day to change the world. And I'm like.
- [06:22]
I want that energy at 82, because I honestly think I'm just gonna be drinking margaritas on the beach. But I don't.
- [06:28]
A
You and me both.
- [06:29]
B
I don't. I'm like, what? How is. How do you still have this energy for wanting to put good into this world? But it is really authentic to her. That is who she is. So it is such an honor for us to be able to host it with her.
- [06:44]
A
Well, that's awesome. And there's so many cool synergies. That's why I wanted to start there. Because here on youthink we are all things youth sports and men's sports and women's and the cross section and the mental health component. We've brought on everyone from, you know, Tom Brady to Malcolm Gladwell to, you know, just trying to capture the entire world not just through the lens of athletes, not just through the lens of coaches and parents, but everyone mental health specialists and performance coaches. And how do we train my 13 year old daughter different than my 13 year old son? Like, is that different? Do we coach in the same. Like, these are all the things that we've tried to kind of tackle and uncover here at you think? So to hear that you guys are on a very similar kind of mission, like, what have you found? Like, take us into some of your more Interesting conversations, like, what are you guys unpacking? State. You know, talk specifically about the world of women's youth sports.
- [07:39]
C
Well, we actually have had a youth sports episode and what is really, I think, fascinating to both Julie and I, given that we're both parents. Julie has a daughter who is playing Division 1 soccer. My daughter is going to be playing Division 1 soccer next year. So we have a unique kind of background in that we know what it's like to have gone through it ourselves. And now we have this interesting, like, data point where we have just gone through it with our actual daughters. Because the landscape has changed over the last 30 years. Right. And the business of youth sport, in my mind, has kind of infected the truth and what we really want our kids to gain out of playing youth sports. Right. Most of our kids are not going to be playing at the collegiate level. Most of our kids are going to be learning how to use their bodies. Right. Are going to be trying to dabble with this sport or that sport to see what, what, what sticks and to see what they might want to continue playing as we get older. You know, I think that, I think that sports is such a fascinating, like, experiment for all of us. Like, how can we play, how can we learn how to actually just play in our lives? And if we can figure out how to do that at a young age, maybe those elements of play can stick with us in our adulthood. Right. And I think that we lose sight of that. I think as athletes, we got to do this job for so long that honestly, almost every single day I would go out there, I'd be like, I can't believe I got, I get paid to do this. Like, this is so amazing. And really, I think what I was saying is like, I can't believe I get to play and also make money. And, and, and what I want my kids to take from, from playing youth sports is not necessarily even like the discipline or the motivation or it's like, how can I try to maintain my youthdom and my. And my childlike awe that I want to go out and see into the world. Yeah. And we've had these episodes and we're going to continue having these episodes because I think that so many parents and I'll stop talking and I've been talking a lot. But so many parents get lost in their own ego around what they, what it will look like on. Upon them as a parent with how good or bad their child might be at sports. Like, we have to separate. The parents need to define themselves through their children's Experience or through their, through their sport.
- [10:21]
B
Greg, you have, you have two kids at 13, you said, and any older than twins at 13?
- [10:27]
A
Yeah. So I have a 14 year old son who's in eighth grade and then I have boy, girl twins.
- [10:31]
C
Okay.
- [10:32]
A
So seeing sports through and so back. I'll back up for one second. So I grew up with all boys.
- [10:38]
C
Yeah.
- [10:38]
A
My dad was our high school football coach. Like traditional high school football that you would imagine 20 years ago.
- [10:45]
B
Yeah.
- [10:45]
A
And like all boys, my mom was a softball coach and a PE teacher and then moved on. She was a lifelong educator. So, like, sports was our world, but it was all boy sports. It was all football and like men's basketball. So I now have a daughter who was late to getting into sports.
- [11:03]
B
Right.
- [11:04]
A
And probably didn't discover she started playing like soccer and basketball at, I don't know, like third grade, fourth grade. The boys did it, you know, since they were babies. She, we would introduce her. She never wanted to get into it, so we never pushed it. The light has gone on for her and she's uber competitive, still developing her skills and whatnot. But, like, she's super competitive and whatnot. I have had a whole different sports experience. So, Julie, I'm going to ask you this, like, teach me how to be a girl sports dad, because I only know sports one way. And like, I get into these arguments with parents at school and I'm like, these girls are fine. Like, they can be coached. We can hold them, the high standards. We don't need to baby them. Like, yeah, what are we do? Am I crazy? Like, help me be a better girl dad in sport. Well, I guess just a girl dad in general, but a girl dad who's now trying to help a young daughter navigate, you know, middle school sports at the moment.
- [12:01]
C
Yeah.
- [12:02]
B
Well, and, and I think it's, it's where your kid is too. Right? Like, every kid is different. Like, for example, my daughter in high school did not want mom and dad, who played a lot of soccer to have any feedback in given to her. And so we were like, well, okay, like, but we can help you.
- [12:25]
A
You know, that's a hard one to swallow, isn't it?
- [12:27]
C
Yeah.
- [12:27]
B
And you're like, we. But like, we've kind of played and my husband coached at a high level. And so it was like, we kind of know this sport a little bit. Don't you want like a little bit of information? And she's like, no more information. And so we honored that. And it wasn't until her like senior year in high school she was like, okay, I'm ready, I'm ready now for information because I realize I need to catch up on stuff, right? And then she wanted to grow, and I mean, she always wanted to grow. But I think it gets to a point where it's like, I just don't want any more information. I just want to play and all that. So I think it's where your kid is in terms of what they're feeling, of the volume and the amount of information that they're willing to absorb and honoring that.
- [13:13]
C
Right?
- [13:13]
B
But I also think, yes. I mean, that was the thing I loved about the national team is like, I was around a bunch of competitive women that it was okay to push them in a way that was like, really healthy. And I was like, hell yes. I'm around people now that, like, understand, like, I don't want to be babied. I want, I want to play, I want to compete, I want to do these things. I want to win. I want to win. And I don't need to hide the fact that I want to win because this is like all these women around me understand that. So, so I do not think you need to baby them. I agree with that. But I think the problem we have, and not just inherent to the women's side of the game, but with youth sports is that, as Abby was saying.
- [13:57]
My biggest takeaway, I have a son who's 16 and now a daughter who's playing at Oregon in her first year as a freshman 18 year old, is that we have a tendency as parents with the best of intentions to just suck the joy out of it. Because we, we are trying to, as Abby mentioned, figure it out for ourselves. Like, we want our kids to have scholarships. We want our kids, again with the best of intentions. We want them to be successful in the sport. And so we push and we train and we have them, you know, think, you know, just singular sports and, you know, and specific and, and they end up doing just one sport rather than trying different sports. So I, I, when, when we talk about youth sports, I, I don't talk about the kids. I talk about the ones and the coaches who are dictating the experience. And we have to. Our North Star has always been with our family, like, do you like it? Like, do you even enjoy it? And if you don't enjoy it, why are you doing it? And the parent has to then frame that for them too. Their behavior on the sidelines, the way you're talking to a kid about their goals and expectations, the way we're talking to them about, like, you know, I had a daughter who was like, so worried that her coach would punish her because she wanted to go to prom. I'm like, go to prom. Like, go do your dances. Like, go have fun in life. Like, there will be more games, there will be more tournaments. We don't have to miss every family vacation because you're worried about a tournament or a showcase or like, like, that perspective from a parent is lost. I feel like nowadays indie sports and we got to bring that back.
- [15:41]
C
Greg, can I ask, can I give you, like, one little tip that, please, was.
- [15:45]
A
I need 10 tips.
- [15:46]
C
This is a good tip. I've got. I got a lot of tips. But one really good tip around the difference between coaching a young, young woman, young girl versus a young boy, young, young man is when. When a coach or a parent is talking to a group in a lot. Let's just say we're in a locker room and the coach is talking to the team. If the coach says, you know, one of you out there is just, like, really sucking it up, you're not working as hard as you need to do, a group of boys will think, oh, my God, he's talking to this guy out here. He's not talking to me. And a group of girls, a group of young girls think the coach is talking to them. So we do have to approach psychologically the way that we talk to these kids. Yes, I do think setting high standards and maintaining those high standards is really important. But especially with. With young girls, they have to. They have to set what that standard is. Right? Like, having those conversations with these young girls is like, what do you guys want out of this season? What do you want out of your individual accomplishments? Like, what kind of goals are you setting for yourself? Because then you can hold them accountable to that stuff. But parents set their own goals and their own standards for what they want for their kids, and they hold their children to that standard. And the kids have not signed on to that. They have not co. Signed that deal. So that's.
- [17:09]
A
That is so spot on. Yeah, that. And that's great advice because I'll be honest. The first couple of times I started again, it was like introduction, introductory, like young girls basketball, like church league basketball. We're teaching them where the free throw line is. Like, we're talking very low level early on. You know, this is, you know, elementary school type. The first time I started coaching my daughter and I was coaching my son's travel baseball teams and tackle football teams of seventh and eighth graders, and they're 15 year old boys and we're playing real football and we're getting after it and we're competing and in practice we got our hands on each other and we're wrestling, you know, showing them how to hold off blocks. And it's a very intense hands on experience. And then I walk in the gym with a bunch of fifth grade girls and I'm like, okay, like I need to reframe to your point, Abby, like how I talk to them, right. The message can be the same, but I have to do a better job in my delivery. So like I, that what the example you just gave, the way you framed, it's the best I've ever heard anyone. I'm gonna like sear that into my brain going forward. But Abby, I want to stick with you because I was on a pod the other day being interviewed about youth sports and your name came up and you gave your opinion on parents involvement at practice or not. So you're shaking your head, so you obviously know what I'm talking about. So I got asked the same question. So I want you to expand on that. So you were asked, you said you do not want parents at practice. Give your kids the space, let them explore, let them interact with their coach. Dive a little deeper into that you've mentioned now multiple times, like parents goals, parents goals. But it's got to be the kids. So just expand on that a little bit. I find that very interesting.
- [18:53]
C
Yeah, I mean, look, if Your kid is 4 or 5 years old, like this is age appropriate, right? Like I know understand that. I, I do understand that parents, they want to be present for their kids. A lot of parents, we work a lot and sometimes this is the only time we get to see our kids play. But in general, my feeling around practice is that I think we need to create and carve out the space for our children to figure out how to be people without us watching them. I think that it is an important, valuable asset for kids to not be looking over their shoulders wondering if their parents just watched that play or saw that play. I mean, honestly, the 10 years that I stepped away from sport after I retired, I had to do a lot of like soul searching. And so much of the reason why I played sport was external motivation, right? This, this need for out out there praise, this need for out out there validation. And so I spent like the last 10 years figuring out how do I internally motivate myself? Yes, I was motivated, but there was an external component. Whether it was a financial reason, whether it was getting on a new remember when we were, like, hoping to get into the newspaper. And that was big deal, you know, of course, like, I want my kids to feel like they have the agency within themselves to make their own way in the world. And if we're sitting on the sidelines at every single practice, first of all, who has the time to do that? Nobody. But what we're teaching our kids is, I'm here for you all the time. And that's not a life skill that they need to develop. They need to go to practice. They need to be with their friends. They need to figure out how to actually take instruction from another adult figure that, of course, parents need to be very diligent on the coaches that they put in front of their kids, on what those coaches are teaching their kids. And that's the responsibility of the parent. But somebody's here. Sorry, guys, but at the end of the day, I think it's so important that the kid gets to go figure out how to be a person. And then when they get back into the car, you can ask them what I like to say is the big three questions. Did you have fun? Did you learn anything? What was something that was like, did you see a kid out there do something interesting? Right? Like, I don't think we need to get into the X's and O's ever, Right? Even for. For me and Julie and you, people who actually know what the X's and O's are, people who know what. What they're talking about. Their. Our kids experience is got to be their experience. This is not. Has nothing to do with us, right? Like, we get to just then go to the games and watch them become the person they're meant to become rather than us, like, shape shift them into, like, little boxes that we. We want them to be, you know?
- [21:55]
A
No, I. It's so funny. So when I got asked the question, I'll give you my answer.
- [21:58]
C
Yeah, what is it?
- [21:59]
A
I said, as a parent, I very rarely go to practice the sports that I'm not actively coaching with my kids. I might go watch the final 10 minutes because my kids are at an age where I still have to pick them up or my wife has to pick them up. So we'll, like, go pop in, watch the final 10 minutes, get an idea of what the coach is doing, get an idea of how is practice structured, but certainly not sit there for the entire two hours. So from a parent perspective, I completely agree. From a coach's perspective, I want parents to come to my practice. I'm one of the few. Every time I say that to people, they look at me crazy because I know every coach wants parents. I want parents at my practices. I do my team meetings. After a baseball game we don't go in left field, we do it right behind our dugout. And after football we do it right up, you know, like on the track, like right in the front of the bleachers, like behind our bench. We oh, I have found at the young age again I'm not into high school age or anything so we're still kind of young. I have found that by speaking openly in front of parents at practice, after games, before games, message to the team. Corrections what was good, what was bad? Here are expectations. Here's where we really need to put a lot more time and effort. Here is where I have a coach have failed you. I'm raising my hand saying hey, I can't always point out Johnny and Sally, hey, Abby's got to be better here. And Julie didn't do the inbounds play. Sometimes the coach needs to say I messed up and do it in front of everybody. What I found is whether parents agree with me or not.
- [23:35]
They at least there's no mystery they're not relying on a 12 year old kid. Hey, what did coach say after the game? What did coach say? You have to work on if you're anything, if your kids are anything like mine, it's like in ear, one out, 10 minutes later, they don't remember what they were even told to relay it. So I actually as a coach, I love parents. You can stand on the sideline and listen to every word I say. You might not like it, you might not agree with me, but you're never going to wonder what I'm saying to your kid. It's never going to be a mystery. It's never as a parent I don't go watch their practices. So I come at it from very two different perspectives.
- [24:12]
C
I like it because what you're saying is come, you can come if you've got questions and you're wondering what we're doing in practice. I love the idea of coming maybe for the last few minutes of the practice and hearing what the coach is saying to the team when, when the breakdown happens. But I also think that there is something to be said around the kids having their own unique period of time that's just theirs.
- [24:38]
B
But you know what's great about that Greg too is you're, you're communicating. I feel like that's a lost art by coaches. Right. And, and, and especially to parents. So if it isn't at practice can you create a space that makes sense, that obviously everyone's got busy lives, but, like, have those conversations of, hey, this is my philosophy on X, Y and Z. So you know, right. This is what our team, our club, our program stands for. And that to me, like, the idea that like, we're building these athletes not just as athletes, but as fabulous human beings. And our club values this, like, leadership and all these things that being a good teammate teaches you about life. I would love a coach to have that conversation with parents and tell us, because I don't think we do enough of that. Right. Of communicating to parents about what the club is teaching. And I don't want to know the X's and O's. Honestly, I want to know how are you making my kid a better human? That's right, because sports is the best vehicle to do that. And what are you teaching them? What seeds are you planting along the way? That will help because I want to sign my kid up with that club. Right. Who values, like, balance, who values all the things in life that are going to make them better human beings and better teammates.
- [26:06]
C
That's right. It's good, Jules.
- [26:08]
A
And the thing is we need more people to value that. Right. It's very easy to isolate Abby because she scored 200 goals. Like, that's easy, right? Like, and now. And we could go even to a deeper conversation about this, about like internal and external motivators and living for outside praise. It's no more prevalent than it is in today's society. Our kids growing up in the middle school and high school age. It is almost virtually impossible to fight the urge to see how many people like their Instagram reel or see how many people friend as much as we fight it and we tell them, don't value those people. Would you ever ask for their opinion? So why do you care about, like, the more you. But they're 12, they're 13 year old girls, they're 14 year old boys, they want to be accepted. Their friend across the street, he scored the game winning goal.
- [27:01]
So it's even more prevalent. We were worried about getting written up in the local high school. You know, in high school we were trying to get in the local paper.
- [27:07]
C
Exactly.
- [27:08]
A
You know, were you the athlete of the week? And like, only your grandparents read it. But nowadays the whole world knows what every middle school soccer player, every middle school basketball player, we know who these kids are from the time they're in sixth grade. And that's a whole nother ball game that these kids are dealing with nowadays that I don't pretend to have the answers to that.
- [27:28]
C
Yeah, it's, you know, the social media world of it all. And that's the other thing. Right. Like, that's why I think parents who are going to practice.
- [27:41]
Kids, everything that they're doing right is. It feels like it's being watched. Right. And like every post that they put online is there. It's this weird consciousness that you're always. You're always.
- [27:56]
Having to perform. Yeah.
- [27:57]
B
Performative.
- [27:58]
C
Everything through this other lens. Like, what will everybody else think? What will my. And so if your parents are sitting on the sidelines, they don't even have that time to go and to just be free and to make mistakes and to learn from them interpersonally. Right. And to be with their friends and to be with their teammates and to be with another adult figure who's helping lead them through this weird time of, of the social media world like that. I mean, for me, sports and kids, like, you gotta get your kids in sports just so that they can get those two hours a day away from their phones. And it's like, I know that schools are starting to do it, but sports is also a really good vehicle for that.
- [28:43]
D
Hey, everyone, I'm Kim Stein with the Gatorade Sports Science Institute. One thing we hear a lot from parents is how confusing hydration can be, how much kids need what to drink and when. Our team studies hydration, health and performance under various conditions, helping us understand how athletes of all ages can hydrate the right way. Greg recently had a virtual conversation with our scientists to break that down, and we're thrilled to work with Youth Inc. To help share those insights.
- [29:07]
A
I think back to when I was playing. I remember we'd go in the cooler and there'd be like a regular, just a traditional Gatorade. Then there'd be like G2 or, you know, any variants, but it was just the traditional non seal. Then what the trainers would do is they would take the caps off and they would put in the gator light packets, you know, like the salt packets, and then those would have big X's on the top. And to your point, based on what you were looking for at lunch in the cafeteria, I probably wasn't going to have one with the gator light package with the X on it. That was more like middle of practice, I'm dying. Crush that. Get the electrolytes in your system fast and go. But then at lunch, you're just going to have a traditional Gatorade because it was dining. It was more for the taste, it was more of just to drink something cold and replenishing what's so cool now is with our kids and our teams, we're telling them, hey, drink your Gatorades at home. But we bring them now because these products are so much more easily accessible, we don't have to rely on making them ourselves during training camp. It's a game changer when we think.
- [30:01]
E
About like the need for hydration and what people need to consume and how detailed the plan needs to be. A good way to put this to the public is that if you're talking about the recreational athlete, then maybe a one size fits all approach may be sufficient for that person. Now as you transition towards the side of the spectrum of someone exercising for performance, the one size fits all approach starts to become insufficient and you have to start tweaking these details. For instance, the composition of sweat in terms of electrolytes is very variable. So some people are heavy salt sweaters. They will have those white stains on their training gear after training or even after a game. And then you have those that don't have a sweat that's too concentrated. And of course, if you get these two athletes as an example, the strategy changes completely. Not only performance at the moment of the game or the race, but also how fast the recovery is going to take place. All this can be influenced by the composition of the drink and whether they're taking sufficient electrolytes. And I think what I like about Gatorade that is science based is the fact that you almost have like a menu full of products. No matter which side of the spectrum of athletics you are, you can find a product that will cover your need regardless.
- [31:25]
D
If you'd like to learn more, you can visit youth.ingatorade.
- [31:30]
A
Julie, I want to ask you this and forgive me, I always use these interviews. I always take advantage of people who know things a lot better than I do. So I turn my interviews almost into like I'm like prodding for things that I can steal. So pardon that I'm picking your guys brains here to take with me. But one advantage my daughter does have is when she walks into the gym. There's not as much of a connection between here in Charlotte, especially when we go play. I coach my two boys on our middle school football team and when we walk into the gym, like we walk onto the field like in Charlotte especially those two kids are Olson's kids and they're constantly being evaluated. Are they good, bad, fast, tall, small, score touchdowns, throw interceptions? Oh, he dropped the ball. That's never going to change. And we talk about that all the time. My daughter doesn't really get it as much. Granted, she's playing sports that obviously I have no connection to. But also there's, I think, a difference between a daughter being compared to their father versus two boys. And I could be right or wrong on that. That's just my own internal kind of observation. I say all of that to say, I guess, both of you. But I'll start with you, Julie. You have a daughter who follows in your footsteps. You both have daughters who are playing your sport at a high level. Talk a little bit about that journey, right? They're constant. They're not just being compared to Mom.
- [32:52]
C
Yeah.
- [32:52]
A
Played and was a nice player. We're talking about generationally, historically great figures that have transcended just that. They scored a lot of goals. Both of you bring a different element to the world of women's soccer than just on the field. Right. You've pioneered the sport into large. You know, there's professional leagues now, and women's soccer players are international celebrities. Like, that was not the case 20 years ago. So talk a little bit about your daughter growing up playing your sport, being compared to you and how you guys, as a family manage that.
- [33:27]
B
Yeah, well, first I tell her I'm a massive deal, and she should honor.
- [33:31]
A
That, as you should.
- [33:32]
B
Right?
- [33:33]
A
She should pay her respects to you before every game.
- [33:38]
B
No, I think you and Abs, I don't. I don't know how you've handled this, but I. From, from the very beginning, we have always said. And I've always said to her, like, look, you don't have to play soccer like that. You absolutely as. And especially as she started to understand, like, why. Why are you signing autographs for people, Mom? Like, why do people want your autograph on things? And, like, they start to, like, as they get a little bit older, like, understand.
- [34:06]
Maybe my mom played at a higher level than, you know, than most other moms. And so that was always the thing we said, like, you don't have to play soccer. You can quit any day. And I would say this, like, once a week. And she's like, I get it. It, Mom. I get it. You don't have to keep telling me that I can quit soccer. I'm like, no, I mean that. Like, it doesn't. Doesn't matter to us. But you will play a sport, and it doesn't have to be soccer, but you will play something, right? Like that. That is. That is mandatory that you play. And I. And we obviously, I'm a big fan of team sports as well. Nothing against individual sports, but that we came from a team sports environment. So.
- [34:44]
And the other thing is.
- [34:48]
C
We.
- [34:49]
B
We often said, like, like, let's be realistic. The percentage of people who are going to be Abby Wambach's and the Billie Jean Kings, right, Are small in this world, right? Like, the gift of sport is not that you have to put an Olympic medal around your neck or stand on a podium or be winning something. The gift of sport is that you learn that your teammates are going to be your ride or dies for the rest of your life. Like, I'm still friends with, like, my soccer ettes teammates, my Go Green Machine teammates. Abby has to hear me do mine. No, no, no. Nobody messes with the Green Machine chant all the time. Literally, as we did our live podcast last week, one of my teammates was in the audience. Go Green Machine, right? Like, they are ride or die for the rest of your life. The things you learn about life and you as a human being are the things that I think we should be focusing on. And that's what we constantly tell. Tell our kids, Tell my daughter who's in soccer, who stayed in soccer, who's now playing collegiately in soccer. And so. And it doesn't. It doesn't always work. Like, she had that conversation of, like, it's hard being your kid, right? And I said, I know, I get it. Like, but to have that conversation openly and say, but, like, quit anytime you want to. Like, don't quit on your team. But, like, if you don't love the sport, then don't do the sport. Like, you have to find the joy in it, not us. And so as long as you're having those conversations and not, like, you will do this, you know, until, you know, until we get it right. Because it's soccer. No. So I think, you know, just having those constant conversations, Greg, with your kids, and especially since, you know, they're. They're playing football and your dot. Would you say your daughter's playing soccer right now?
- [36:45]
A
She's. She doesn't play soccer. She does. She plays basketball and she runs track.
- [36:49]
C
Okay. Nice.
- [36:50]
B
Awesome.
- [36:51]
C
Yeah.
- [36:51]
B
And. And again, it's just framed around, like, not outcomes and nor the fact that, like, regardless of what your parents did, like, what do you want out of it and how you be a great teammate out of it? Because I think that's the value. Because not everyone's going to go on to play at a high level. I know that.
- [37:08]
C
And in some ways, I mean, what we did with our youngest we have three kids, and the two oldest, one did cross country in high school. Other did a little bit of soccer. She's more into music now. And our youngest was like, full on. Loved soccer. And my wife was like, look, every week, she basically offered Amma the opportunity to quit. She's like, do you want to quit? And would be like, no, you can stop asking me this kind of thing. But early on, I just sat her down and I said, look, this. This has nothing to do with me.
- [37:40]
B
You.
- [37:40]
C
If you want to do this, you can do it. But I. You will not attach any of, like, what you're doing with me wanting you to do it. Because I'm at. Just as happy watching you play chess or. Or swim or play a different sport. I'll be just as happy. I am. You don't need to prove anything to me is what I'm telling you. And I had that conversation with her very early on, and because Glennon kept asking her every week if she wanted to quit, she said no. And so I'm certain that what she, like, really, why she has gotten to where she's gotten to is because of her. And that is all of her. That is her honor. That is something she gets to carry with her everywhere she goes. And, yeah, there's autographs and this and that, that she's got to deal with, but there's also privilege that she gets from it in many ways. Right. Being able to go meet her idols because they're my friends. Like, there's some really cool stuff that happens from it. So I'm sure that your kids are fine.
- [38:41]
B
My son did say nature thing is real. Yeah, Sorry.
- [38:44]
A
Go ahead. Julie, what'd you say?
- [38:45]
B
My son did say, like, at like, 13, like, this soccer stuff is too much running. I was like, I know. And he's like, no, I'm done, Mom. I'm like, good. You're done. You're good. You're fine. He's a football, basketball guy now.
- [38:59]
C
Perfect.
- [38:59]
A
And you said, how old?
- [39:00]
B
16 now.
- [39:01]
A
16. Yeah. So sophomore in high school.
- [39:03]
B
Yeah, sophomore. And I was like, dude. And then he got big and tall, and I was like, you could be a center back. You could be a goalkeeper. He's.
- [39:12]
A
Yeah. We say all this, and then in the back of your mind, you're like, but you'd be really good at it. And Mom.
- [39:18]
Well, Abby, I want to follow up on that. So, like, your youngest is in high school, is just finishing high school senior.
- [39:24]
C
Yep.
- [39:25]
A
Okay. So I'm the soccer coach, and I. And you're sitting in the bleachers. Just me personally, I'm coming up to you saying, I want you to help us. Like, you're not going to offend me. I don't take it personal. Help me. She wants you to help, doesn't want you to help. Are you doing your work in group settings? Is it at home, just the two of you? Like, what is your level of coaching your daughter?
- [39:49]
C
Look, like so early days, I coached our middle daughter's rec league team. We won the championship that year. And then I retired and I just.
- [39:59]
A
Said, you gotta go out on top. And youth sports.
- [40:01]
C
Exactly. I'm just, I'm a champion everywhere I go. All I do is win. But I did have the conversation with Glennon and I was just like, look, I think I just want to be a parent. And that's really important. Now all of the girls on Amma's team, now, her club team, are all committed to play for Division 1 teams. And her new coach this year, she came up to me and she said, and all the coaches have done this, and I've just been like, no, this is your team. I really want Emma to learn from you. And kind of gave them carte blanche. But this coach came up and she said, listen, I think that these girls would really gain a lot from you coming out. And I said, all right. And so I go out once a week and I don't coach a lot. I just watch. I give a little tip here or there, like little things that.
- [40:56]
I notice that could help them. And we do a little bit of extra fitness because I do think that the next level, the jump that they're going to all make in July and August is going to be quite large. It's. It is a different level. It is a different level of commitment. And they just all have to be more fit in the club game. In the club that my, my daughter plays in, they kind of believe in like equal paying playing time, which means they play 20 minutes every half. And I'm like, you are not gonna. You don't have the kind of fitness base for. For collegiate level. So I go in.
- [41:35]
B
So they now associate Abby with running fitness.
- [41:38]
A
They're like, coach, why the hell? I wanted her to teach me how to do like some fancy ball handling. Now she's just running me into.
- [41:45]
B
They see her and they're like, damn.
- [41:46]
A
It, I wanted to teach me the flying header. We all watched her freaking head 500 goals in world class stadiums, and now she's just making me run.
- [41:56]
B
Why did you bring this legend out to make us run?
- [41:59]
A
She sucks.
- [42:00]
C
Yeah. But here's the thing. I'm not a sprint for just sprint sake. I like to do. I like to do fitness in a way that, like, they're playing, they're doing. They're doing, like, fun.
- [42:11]
B
Fitness is still fitness. Abby, you are the fitness Nazi. Coming in. Oh, my God.
- [42:17]
D
Yeah.
- [42:17]
C
But also, we do relay races. Have you ever seen high schoolers run relay races? There's nothing more fun than doing relay race. Seriously, like, and your whole team is behind you and. And you gotta all sit down. It's like, I do camp fitness. Just, we're doing 20, 15 minutes of extra fitness. It's really easy. And I'm also providing them with the little tips that they're gonna need.
- [42:42]
A
Yeah, it's good right along the way. See, my. My problem is I either have to completely remove myself.
- [42:49]
C
Yeah.
- [42:50]
A
Because the second I'm like, I cannot stand at the practice and give, like, little whispers, it's. I just. My body explodes. So I'm either. I either can't go and I have to, like, not even be at the school, not be at practice and stay completely removed, or I have to jump all in, into the deep end and coach everybody every moment the entire time. So that's my issue, is I wish I could just be involved and just augment here and there and just leave it at that level. I. I need to improve at that because that sounds a lot more fun.
- [43:27]
C
It is. It is. And. And honestly, it makes me feel better because I don't have to plan anything. I show up, she runs the practice. Every once in a while, I'll stop a drill because they're sucking and I'll just be.
- [43:39]
A
There you go. That's what I like to hear. That. See, she left that out. Julie.
- [43:42]
C
No. Every once in a while. But I. You gotta see, this is where parent. This is the same thing with parenting, especially teenagers. You can't nag them about everything because nothing then ever changes. You've got to wait. You got to. You got to find the right moment and hold. Hold your breath until the thing that you're going to say is going to land. And then their behavior actually adjusts. It's the same thing with youth sports. Like, you can't nag them every single play. You just got to hold on. And then when the moment arises and it's going to shit, you get to stop the practice and be like. And honestly, all it takes is this. You stop the practice and you just look around kind of like in disgust, and you say, do we think that this can get better. And they're like, yeah, we do. And I say, then do it. And then I go to the sideline.
- [44:38]
A
And your daughter's reaction, does she like you being involved? Does she wish you got involved a while back? Or is she happy that she waited till her senior year?
- [44:45]
C
She's, I think, happy that she waited. I think that. And on the way to the first, the first practice I did this season, I said, look, look, like Abby mom is different than Abby soccer player. So like, see me as like the icon. Your friends look at me as not the mother that you know me as. You just have to switch it in your brain. And when we got back in the car the first time, I was like, how was that? And she was like, you know, and it's gotten better. It's gotten better.
- [45:15]
A
Like it was a little intense.
- [45:17]
C
It's just hard. Like cuz she's, she's dealing with all of the social implications, right?
- [45:22]
A
Of course.
- [45:23]
C
Like that's my mom. And she's kind of yelling at us and at my friends. Like it's kind of weird, but I know the feeling.
- [45:30]
A
Here I am when I, the joke in our house is when my, when my two sons, boy, like friends come over. The boys that I've coached since they were five in every sport, they're like, hey, Coach Greg. Hey, Coach Greg. Because I've been wearing them out. When my daughter, her name is Talbot. When Talbot's little girlfriends come over. They're in seventh grade now, but you know, Coach Greg, Coach Greg. Oh my God, Coach Greg. And the boys look. And my wife's like, I was like, practices were a little, I guess I was a little different. Maybe I was a little their version of Coach Greg, I guess. A little different than what the boys, but it's just funny. Like the boy, I don't know. I don't want my daughter's girlfriends to think I'm like the crazy dad. I guess I'm a little more comfortable. Like if the boys, I'm like, hey, we got to be better at practice tomorrow night, Johnny. Yeah, yeah, you're right. But with the I get, I don't know, it's just, it's something I'm working through. But I am hard as hell on my daughter now. Like I, I, I tell her, I say, I'm gonna treat you like I treat your brothers. I said, we're not doing the whole like now again, is the delivery a little different? Probably the boys think she's my favorite child. But like we, we, we're hard on her. High expectations, toughness, competitive spirit, heart. Like, all that stuff is we.
- [46:47]
B
How'd she take it? She like it?
- [46:49]
A
She is tough as nails.
- [46:51]
B
Yeah. See? And again, it depends on your kid. You'll know.
- [46:54]
C
You gotta know.
- [46:54]
B
You gotta know.
- [46:55]
A
Your kid is tough as nails. She's competitive. Competitive. She's got a she. She'll run till. She'll get in the car with me after track practice. And I'm like, how was practice? It was great. I was like, what did you do? And then she'll rattle off, like, the ladders and the drills and all the running. And I'm just thinking to myself, like, that sounds exhausting. I'm like, how did you do? She's like, I won. She's like, I beat the boys. I was like, okay. I said, good. I said. And I don't even know what else to say. I'm like, yeah, that sounds great. Like, yeah.
- [47:25]
C
Young.
- [47:25]
A
What I found with young girls. And I'll let you guys go after this, like, some of this. And you guys correct me if you find it wrong. You've obviously worked with a lot more young girls than I have. But, like, sometimes the skill that, like, the real sport specific stuff, the dribbling, the ball, handling the passing, the score is a little bit delayed from where the boys are. But the attentiveness, the look you in the eye, the want to do it the right way. Whether they have success or not, whether their skills are ready for them to do it right or wrong, is completely besides the point. There's a little bit more of a willingness to be pleasers. They want to do what they're being coached. They're giving it their best attention, even if their skill set is a little behind. There's a different, like, mental connection with the young girls than there is the young. The young boys are a little bit more aloof.
- [48:19]
B
Yeah.
- [48:19]
A
I found.
- [48:20]
C
Yeah. I mean, definitely the skill set not behind for girls and boys. It just depends on the type of girl and the type of boy. Right. Like, your boys may have just been more rough and tumble as young kids.
- [48:33]
A
I guess they're all. Yeah, they're all.
- [48:35]
C
And so it just depends on, you know, I. Because I was absolutely probably the best athlete and like the Northeast at my age, at every age, boy or girl, I played with the boys because back then there weren't, like, elite women's soccer, like, club. Like, girls soccer club teams.
- [48:54]
So it just kind of depends. Like, I do know that it is probably easier coaching girls because there's more of an innate desire, not just the Pleasing component to it, but to want to, like, work together and figure out a solution on how we can get our group from where we are to where we ought to be.
- [49:17]
A
No doubt.
- [49:18]
C
And I think that there might be. And I do think that that has a lot to do with, like, the macro components to the world, whether it's patriarchy or the fact that these boys can watch more men playing sport on television. And it's getting better with the women's. With women's sports. But, you know, these kids are watching these. These games day in and day out, whether it's football, basketball, soccer, you know, baseball. And they're seeing themselves in the individual on the screen that they're watching. Right. And girls, there's more of this team component to the way that they approach the game. So I think that. That it is easier to coach girls from that perspective, just based on the culture that we've all been raised in.
- [50:03]
A
They are very supportive of one another. Like, good shot, bad shot. There's no eye rolls. The boys pass the ball out of bounds, and it's a lot of, like.
- [50:13]
B
Yeah, come on, man. It's so funny, though.
- [50:16]
A
I have not experienced any of that with the girls.
- [50:18]
B
It's so funny when you think about that on. On a macro level, though, right? Like, it. It does.
- [50:25]
I think, model a lot of what we see in, like, culture and societal relevance of women are community builders. They're unifiers. And you hear a lot of coaches say, oh, my gosh, so much easier to coach women.
- [50:43]
And again, like, the beauty of sports is this canvas where we can teach kids.
- [50:51]
What that means. Right. We can teach kids and boys the importance of community building and all these things that I think come a little bit more innately to women and which is what I love the most about the opportunity for coaching. Again, it's not the X's and O's, it's what we're teaching our kids.
- [51:07]
A
Yeah, I would sign up to coach my daughter's team for the next. Till she graduates high school in a minute. Yeah, it would. There's something. I don't know, we could go on and on, but there's something about. And again, from a guy who grew up with only boys, only brothers, I don't know if I ever attended. Like, it just was not how. I just wasn't raised in a female sports environment. I just wasn't. And it's been probably one of the coolest, like, sports change of mind for, you know, mindset and different perspective. It's been a really fun journey. I wish I did it more, to be honest.
- [51:42]
B
Yeah. And good on you, Greg, for jumping in and doing all this.
- [51:45]
A
Like, there's more if they'd let me.
- [51:47]
B
Yeah, there's a. I just. I did not have that. That gene in me where I wanted to get in there and coach. And I. And I think it's great that you do.
- [51:57]
C
So agree.
- [51:58]
B
I love it.
- [51:59]
A
You know, like, the parents that, like, think they know everything, but, like, they don't ever sign up for anything. I refuse to be that guy.
- [52:06]
B
Yeah.
- [52:06]
A
I will be the first one to raise my hand. And I'm not a basketball guy. I'm not a baseball guy. Like, I don't know these sports as intimately as I do, you know, football. But, like, I will be the first guy to raise my hand and say, I'll figure it out. I'll run the team. I'll coach it. I'll handle it. Because I don't want to be. It's easy to sit in the stands and find fault with the guy who is coaching.
- [52:31]
C
Right.
- [52:31]
A
Or the girl or whoever. It's very easy. And I've always vowed to say, like, I'm never going to be the guy who's saying, this has nothing to do with me. But then I sit there and have all the answers.
- [52:41]
B
Exactly.
- [52:42]
A
So I'm like, worst if I think I have the answers, I'll do it.
- [52:45]
C
It.
- [52:45]
B
Yeah.
- [52:45]
A
And I'll coach it, and I'll do the best that I can. And, yeah, I have the time, I have the ability, and I'll do it.
- [52:52]
B
This was my one rule with my husband because we said this. We said, listen, this is our rule. And this is. This is for every sport. If we're not volunteering our time to be coaching, then we have no right to criticize the person who is giving of their time. Even if they're getting paid, they are giving of their time. So that was the thing that became our, like, North Star is like, no, we're not giving of our time, so we have no right to actually criticize that person. And imagine if it was just hard, right? But we would catch ourselves and say, remember. Remember? That was the rule. You cannot do that. And imagine if every parent did that, because all you hear is this negativity instead. And that transfers, and the kids hear it sometimes, and then that transfers down.
- [53:42]
C
Yes. And I think one of the things that we also try to do is as. We try to do that as well. But when the kid starts to complain about whatever it might be, playing time or coaching decision or whatever, we say, wow, that sounds like something you really need to talk to the coach about and just leave it at that. And so if you are going to keep complaining about it without talking to the coach, then that's just, that's just cowardice, right? Like you can't complain about something unless you have the guts to actually go confront the coach and say, look, I'm not getting enough playing time or I don't know, you know, like don't complain to us. We're not here for complaining, we're here for solutions. Like if you want to talk to us and talk through the, that conversation you're going to have, we're here for that all day long.
- [54:27]
A
Well, amen to that. Because my first answer, I, I, yeah, the answer to that is you're speaking my language right now. Our first answer, I'm like, well have you, how have you done a practice? Have you worked hard? Maybe you need to practice more, maybe you need to get better. I don't know, if I was the coach, I wouldn't play either.
- [54:44]
It's very simple. Again, they're not five, I'm talking about like, but anyway, Julie, Abby, I could go on and on and pick your guys brains, what you guys have accomplished in your own careers, but now what you guys are doing for sports in general. But of course, the area of women's sports as you probably now know, an area that I'm more and more passionate about as I experience this through the eyes of my own young daughter. I just applaud what you guys are doing. It's cool for her to be able to turn on the TV and watch women's sports and sit down and watch a girl's basketball game on ESPN on a Wednesday night. That is cool for us to do as a father and a daughter. So I applaud what you guys do, applaud what you guys are out there championing for and sharing your perspective as moms. Sharing your perspectives as former athletes and current influencers in the space is such a, such a luxury for us here on Youthink. I can't thank you guys enough for joining us.
- [55:37]
C
Thank you for having us. It's been fun.
- [55:38]
B
Yeah, thanks, Greg.