← Youth Inc. with Greg Olsen
Youth Inc. with Greg Olsen
NFL on ESPN's Dan Orlovsky on the Hard Truths of Youth Sports Parenting
00:39:28
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- [00:00]
A
Youth sports in America are at a crossroads and I'm here to help lead the conversation forward. I'm Greg Olson. Each week we're sitting down with top athletes, coaches and more to talk about what's working, what's broken and what's next. Welcome to you think. What's up everybody? Welcome back. Another episode here on you think. Super pumped for today. Not only for his perspective, not only because he's the most hard working man in sports media in the, on the planet, but also just a guy that's become a buddy. We go back to some fun nights in South Florida, daring guys to go grab pizzas. We'll, we'll save that for another, for another episode. But Darren, man, I can't thank you enough, Dan, for joining us here on you think. I'm excited to dive into some of this youth sports shenanigans.
- [00:49]
B
It's good to be with you, dude. I, I share the same sentiments, obviously love what you guys have done with this youth platform. You think? Platform and I think candidly a lot of his parents need to hear it, a lot of it, if not all of it, you know, so there's a lot of good information from a lot of different perspectives. So it's good to be here, dude.
- [01:09]
A
I appreciate it. Well, let's, we were actually just diving into it a little offline. I was like stop. We're gonna, let's wait till we actually press record. Get, get, give our listeners a sense of just like you're right now, you're with your kids and you're talking about hooping on the weekend and you're travel basketball and just all the time, just give all of our listeners a little, a little synopsis on what your current youth sports experience looks like right now.
- [01:34]
B
Yeah, the starting point is just to be completely blunt and honest. I'm a sports person, we're a sports family. You know, it's the things, it's one of the things that I like the most, you know, and my wife's a sports lady too. Like she's a sports girl. So that's, it's a big part of our family that's the starting point. And we're a little old school, you know, we believe in having your kids play all the sports that they want to, you know, if they, if they want to play three different sports throughout the year, play them, you know. And so like we're, we're very anti specializing and I know there's a wave of that. And so yes, we have four kids, we have three 14 year old boys and a 10 year old girl. One of the boys, Madden, who's my son, who's autistic, doesn't play sports just because it's not like a reality for him on a consistent basis. But the other two boys play a ton of sports and I have one boy who plays football, baseball, lacrosse and basketball. I have one boy who plays football, tennis, basketball and lacrosse and then my daughter plays soccer, lacrosse, basketball. So we're busy with.
- [02:47]
A
You and your wife haven't had a night, you haven't had a night out in 10 years.
- [02:51]
B
Yeah, it's, it, there's a challenge we, we try to do. We try, but there's a challenge, you know, and it's funny, Greg, like the, we're in, we're in travel basketball right now and you know when my, I love nothing more than watching them play. Right. You're, you're the same. Nothing more. But there are moments when I'm like the best. Oh my gosh. There's four games this weekend. You know, there's, there's four and none of them are going to start on time. And so that, that, that four game, you know, three hour window is really going to be four and a half, five hours, you know, for, for games on each day. And so I say to my wife all the time, like, all right, we're going to skip that game, you know, like that we're going to skip that game and it's going to be okay. Like it's, it's going to be okay. I know it feels like on the surface, can't not go to a game, but we're going to skip that one and we're going to sit down and tell her or tell that like we're going to miss that one. It's okay. The team knows we're going to do.
- [03:46]
A
Something as a family.
- [03:47]
B
We're not. So we're in it. I love it. I love it, I love it. I would watch it every day. And then also I'm like, yo is.
- [03:53]
A
Every day I want to dive into a little bit from a parenting perspective and I just want to say everything you guys did, I know is a big reason why you did the, the Monsters Inc. Game and your son Matt and you've had him on, on ESPN on. Was it NFL Live when he came out with the drawings when he was NFL Live. I just want to dude what you guys do. He is incredibly talented and incredibly like creative.
- [04:19]
B
Appreciate it.
- [04:20]
A
Super cool. And I know that was a big, I know that was a big, big reason why you did that Monsters Inc. Broadcast, which was my kids watched because they are obsessed. When they were little, they were obsessed with Monsters Inc. Yeah. So like that was a fun night watching you guys. So hats off, hat tip for that. But I want to dive into some of the parenting stuff, right? Like daughter, sons, sons with different interests. That's very much my household too. I have boy, girl, twins. You know, obviously there's differences in interests and whatnot, especially at this age. Older son. So how do you and your wife handle, like parenting and supporting different interests, parenting and supporting different levels of interests. Like there's so many different aspects and levels to how much the kids even want to do. How do you guys approach it and make sure you meet each kid where they're at?
- [05:11]
B
Honesty, I think, I think the biggest thing is we are honest about what we think that kid has shown us almost on a relatively consistent basis of the things that they're into and then the honesty of their intention behind it, like their actual desire to play a part of those sports. And so like I'll give you an example, Greg. I'm just, just take the three of my kids who actually play and the honesty starts with me, you know, and her like, again, I'm a sports person. I would love nothing more than all three of those kids who play sports to dominate all the time, to be one of the, if not the best players on the team, to play every single minute, to be the star of the game and to feel about sports the way that like I feel I have for most of my life. Right. I would love that. That's not the reality. And so I have to constantly check myself and my wife has to check me of like, well, is, is this really, like, is this, is this really what is. Is that that kid is telling us that they're into? Or is that what I want them to? Like, is that what I want them to. Or is that what I think people want me to kind of portray? So that number, that, that's the starting point and that's a constant thing. It's not a one time thing, you know, it's. It's this constant. I don't want to say daily, but it's a relatively consistent. All right, like, do, do I want him to play so much so I can walk around town as I go to get a coffee and have somebody come up to me and tell me, oh, you know, Noah was the best player on the field last weekend. You know, you should be so proud. So that's the starting point. I think this too also you have to be honest about like your, your, your child's intentions with how much sports mean to them and why they're playing the sport. I think kids, there are majority of kids, Greg. And my, my thought, I humans that like are not necessarily going to be completely comfortable jumping all in to the reality of sports as they get older. The difficulty of them, the sacrifice of them, the failure that is attached to them. And so there is a trepidation I think more often than not for some kids. So I do think, and I've been outspoken, it's like, yeah, you got to kind of, you got to nudge them to get past that level of discomfort. I have one, my daughter, my daughter has been touched by the hand of God when it comes to sports. She has every box that you need to check both physical and non physical to be a high end athlete. She has, she and my daughter's 10. She has been outspoken to my wife and I. I want to play on the Olympic U.S. women's National Soccer team. Okay, I get it. That I don't, I don't need to hear anything else. I don't need to get in your way. We're going to fully support you.
- [08:23]
A
Right.
- [08:23]
B
Like I know that there is that obsessive gene in her with sports don't get in the way. So just continue to support her. Support her. She wants to be with her friends. You know, a big deal with her is, you know, she has made it so clear to us she loves competition, loves it. She also loves the car ride with her friends going to the games. So we've actually held her off a little bit on like joining certain clubs for different sports because I'm like, well, right. You know, when we do that, the car rides get longer and they get less girls in the car because you know you're only going to get the one or two or three best players from a team. But I know, I know for her, like I don't, I don't have to do much about nudging or pushing. I just have to continue to like support her but make sure she's not doing too much. One of my sons, he's just a tier below that. I don't think he's been as physically blessed as her. He's a talented kid, but like he's very self motivated. He wants to go accomplish things. He's been outspoken how important sports are to him. He loves being on a team, he loves accomplishing. And so like he's one that. He's constantly sharing to me the importance of that stuff, asking Me, dad, what drill should I do? Dad, what do I have to work on? So, like, those are indicators to me of him instigating or initiating to me, like, hey, how do I get better at this stuff where I know he's got that inside of him where he want. He wants to go play lacrosse at Notre Dame. He has said that. I want to go to Notre Dame. I want to play lacrosse. All right, so, like, how do we facilitate you as a boy? He hasn't hit puberty yet. So, you know, for the boy that hasn't hit puberty yet, that wants to be as good as the boys that maybe are more talented and have hit puberty, like, those are conversations that I have to have with him.
- [10:21]
A
It's a huge gap.
- [10:22]
B
Yeah, it's a totally different world. And so the conversations that I've had with him, because he doesn't necessarily care about that. Like, he doesn't care about that. Like, he just wants to be as good as those guys. But also getting him to understand, like, just because you're not right now and there's factors out of your control doesn't mean that we don't continue to do the things that are the most important things for the long haul. And then I have a son who I think he's naturally talented, but his actions have indicated, like, he's not super passionate about it. Like, he's. He's not that into it. He's. He likes them. He likes the social element of them. I don't believe he's naturally as competitive as the other two. And so I have to have a little bit more of a. I can't make this one, who's a little bit less wired to be like, this one, who's more wired, what I like them to be, of course. But I can't make Noah, my son, who's just a little bit less wired with some of those intangibles. I can't force him to be the one that is wired with those intangibles.
- [11:33]
A
You literally just explained my life.
- [11:35]
B
Yeah, it's.
- [11:37]
A
It's the. Those are the exact same conversations and dynamics in my household as we sit here right now. There's different levels of interest. There's different levels of competitive spirit. There's different levels of just God given ability, size, height, length. And then I'm the first one to, like, raise my hand. I think you and I are wired pretty similarly. And, like, I don't process doing and not trying to be great at it. I. I just. My. I. It just. I. I can't even begin to wrap my head around that. But as a dad, what's been a huge challenge for me, and this is where my wife's really good at, like reminding me of this. Sometimes I'm not really in a receiving mood, but I get it. I want them to go about it like I go about it, but that's not the real world, right? That's not, they're 13, they have different ages, they're not 41 year old grout. Like, it's just a different time in their lives there, there's a lot of different factors that go into all this. And just their innate wiring, like you mentioned, could be different now, but it could change over time and whatnot. So like that's my biggest struggle is like, I want them to be as obsessive as I am. Even though in my mind I know that's probably not like the healthiest. I always joke, like, my obsessiveness is a great professional trait. It's not a great personal trait.
- [13:04]
B
Right.
- [13:04]
A
Like, it's not a great personal thing, but it served me well, you know.
- [13:09]
B
So I think that's, I, I, I, that is something that Greg, I've been thinking about so much lately. I was actually watching TV this morning and our job, and they're having all these conversations about these coaches right, in the NFL and who should let go and where should they go and whatnot, and what makes a good coach. And I was sitting there thinking to myself as I was working out, going, you know, what's one of the qualities that makes a great coach that no one is willing to say on tv? And I was like, the ability to brainwash people. And there's going to be a visceral reaction to that because it's, there's negative connotation. But like a great coach really does get their players brainwashed into like the, the thinking of one play at a time, one moment at a time, one game at a time, one day at a time. And like there's this, there's this machine, like I can create this machine like approach that builds really good athletes. And so I was thinking about it in regards to, all right, I'm like, that sports kind of made me that way. It's been a huge benefit of my, in my life when it comes to sports in our profession. And I was having the thought of, all right, I know that's wildly important for being successful in whatever you go do. Why would I not strain to instill that into my kids? Not that it's flawless and not that it's Perfect. But why would I not make that a really big deal to my kids? Of like, no, no, no. You. This there. What? Maybe it's not sports, but it's sports right now for you. It's like we have to build that habit of the obsession of trying to improve that. I've gone back and forth on it, Greg. Of like, don't. Dan, like, don't. They're not you. But I don't know if I was like that at 12 or 13 or 14. I think it got built in me over a long journey and the establishing of all that. And then over that period, I started to reap the benefits of that. And then it made me double down.
- [15:25]
A
And then you double down on it. Yeah.
- [15:27]
B
And so it's like, I think it's interesting to have the conversation of like, you hear a lot of people say, don't push, don't pressure, don't push. And it's like, well, wait, we had people that pushed and pressured and made that like a mandate in our lives, and it's been a benefit to us. Why would I not have that be a thing that I'm trying to give to my kids?
- [15:51]
A
What's up, guys? Do you want custom fanware, like this cricket shirt for Charlotte Christian School? We've got premium apparel from your favorite brands. The best part about it is I don't have to just wear it to Charlotte Christian's events. I can wear it to golf. I can wear it to lunch. It's turning into my uniform. Go right now over to Youth Inc. Sign up for our newsletter. It talks about our podcast for that week, our interview guests, all the breaking news across the landscape of youth sports, and you can win one piece of merch for your school by going to sign up today. And remember, it's not dot com, it's Youth Inc. Now back to our episode. This sounds like conversations at our. At our dinner table. When. When I. When we talk to the kids or when my wife and I just talk or friends or whatever. Sure, I. My best understand my. I guess the best that I've come to realize, like rationalize the other side. I think there's a fear of what happens. I'm not saying I agree or disagree. I'm just. I think there's a fear of you push, you push, you push excellence. Excellence. For example, I always do do a better job, like giving tangible real life examples because I'm not a fucking doctor.
- [16:57]
B
Sure.
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A
But like with our kids, all the time, they tell me, dad, I want to play college football. I want to Play college baseball, whatever. And I say that's a good goal. Like, I'm not a huge goal guy. Like, I'm not a huge, like I want to make the varsity basketball team. Because then you make the varsity basketball team and then what? Like, do you stop? Yeah, like, I'm a big believer in like just constant improvement. Get better forever, keep just putting it in. And then whatever your end goal is, I think that creates a healthier. I'm a failure. No, you're not a failure. If you don't play Division 1 football, even if that was your lifelong dream and you did everything in your power and you didn't make it, you're not a failure. You know it's a failure. You half assed everything. You didn't work, you didn't put the time in, you got bad grades, you got kicked out of school. That guy's a failure. So like, we try to frame it from. We are going to push, push, push about habits, routine, daily execution, and then whatever the end of the road is, we can all live with it. Maybe the end of the road is jv. Maybe the end of the roads, varsity, who knows, right? I think that's a healthier way. But if people think we're going to push, push, push, push. Because my kids dreams to be a college football player and then all of a sudden they don't become a college football player and, and their world flips upside down.
- [18:18]
B
Sure, sure. And I think I totally agree. Like, I totally agree. And I say to my kids all the time, and you can share from this vantage point as well, and I'm sure there's a lot of people out there that listen to us and listen to it. I say to my kids all the time, like, listen, you guys being really good or the best player or going to start on varsity or what not, like that is not going to impact my life at all. I somehow locked into being one of the few that made it and accomplished this small dream that I had. And it was the greatest journey that I could express in that world. But like, you guys going to do it is not going to make me feel better about myself. It's not going to make me feel worse about myself. That's for you. And so like, if you want to go do that, that's important to you. Like, I love that. I often look at it in relation to how I look at golf and how I, I heard Tiger woods talk about this years ago when he would talk about golfing. And Tiger woods was notorious for, you know, being able to win with his C game and all that. And so Tiger would often talk about golf as, like, a game of Mrs. And I kind of correlate that to sports parenting. You know, it's. It really is a journey of Mrs. Because we, as parents, we're going to miss all the time when it comes to, like, the stewarding of these athletes. When, you know, in game. I often go to games sometimes, and I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna sit there and watch it and enjoy it, and then my daughter will miss two shots in a row, and my son will pass the ball and be passive, and I'll take my hat, and I'll be like this. And then I'm sitting there like this, and I'm not saying anything, but I'm sitting there. And then I get done with the game, and I'm like, I got caught up in it in that moment, but I want to, because it's an emotional thing. And so when it comes to, like, the end goal. All right, your end goal is to go play college football. I know how to get there. You know how to get there. You know, kind of like the steps that are going to be necessary. So, like, the obsession of, if this is your end goal, how are we going to get there over the course of the next eight years? We have eight years to do this. If that's something that's important to you, we don't have a month. We have eight years. So I know in six years from now, you're not going to be nearly as big and as fast and as strong and as tall as you want to be. If we don't start jumping rope or, hey, dude, like, I know you want. I know. I get it that you want to eat that bag of Chex Mix after the game, but I. You. This is going to be something that's. You're going to benefit. You're going to be thankful for it in the long run. And so, like, there's that obsession with. And that understanding, and I'm expressing to them all the time, like, guys, you were born and you could not move a single part of your body, and it took eight years for you to be able to, you know, run from first base to home plate. It's a long, long, long process. But you have to do those things on a relatively consistent basis to get there. It doesn't happen overnight.
- [21:32]
A
All right, so dive in. What. What does the. Forget your team stuff. Forget your kids teams. What does the time in between team practice look for? Like, your kid who Wants to go play lacrosse in Notre Dame or your daughter who wants to play on the, you know, the USA girls soccer team. Like so much. Development is always such a key word that gets thrown around in youth sports. And from the team's element, in my experience, development has become secondary. Development has really fallen on the individual family. If you want your kid to make the travel baseball team, for the most part, that coach, that team is not going to teach them from scratch how to hit the ball. He'll make some adjustments, but you have to have some foundation of being able to do it. What does that look like for you? Like my kids, they go do pitching, they go to work, they do work outside the school. They're thankful they do. Every morning my boys go with like a middle school group of boys for like eight weeks now. They've done it four days a week. Strength and conditioning before school. I could see a difference in my boys. But anyway, so they do that stuff at school. But like individual, like they go do basketball lessons, they do pitching, they go to batting. Like we do it. So like I'm raising my hand. What, tell me what it looks like in your world. Like what are your kids doing to develop them away from their teams? Yeah. Okay.
- [22:54]
B
So one we, we have that thing, that skylight which you've probably seen, which is like that digital calendar that you have in your home that you know like. Yeah, yeah, yep. So we have it so on. On that each kid has their own kind of daily routine that I kind of set for them after some conversations. My daughter, I'm just going to be honest, we haven't done much with her, Greg, just because she's 10, you know, and she's playing so much that we don't do a ton kind of the in between now, you know, even we're in winter right now. She has basketball practice and it's not too much. She has basketball practice two nights a week and then she has one day of soccer and she has a day of lacrosse. And so she's still kind of working on some of those maybe ex non seasonal sports. But I don't do much with her, nor do I feel I have to right now because she's 10. But I'll focus on the two boys. So one boy, my son Hunter, every single day. And we actually just had this conversation like two weeks.
- [23:58]
A
How old?
- [23:59]
B
He just turned 14 this month. Okay, so he.
- [24:02]
A
Okay, yeah, same as me, 14 year.
- [24:05]
B
Old boy who doesn't have a armpit hair or any form of a deep voice. So we're not at puberty yet. And I. Right, so sat with him like two weeks ago. And I said, I want you to take a piece of paper. I want you to write down the five things that you think you're good at with sports and the five things that you think you're not good at. Okay? And so he sat down, he wrote down this list, and I took the five things that he wasn't good at. He was talking about, like, defensive positioning, foot quickness, upper body strength, conditioning. I forget what the fifth one was. And I said, okay, these are the five things that you have to attack every single day. So we. Every day, whether he has a team practice or not. So he has. Monday nights, he has. He goes to this thing called Boost, which is like a all encompassing athletic development thing. He goes with his friends, plyometrics, agility, all that. Tuesday night, he has a lacrosse practice. Wednesday night, he has a lacrosse practice. Tuesday night, he hasn't all that. I said, every day you got to do 50 push ups. He asked for a pull up bar, 10 pull ups. And then for the lacrosse stuff, you know, we went over some drills that he can do on it. He has to do 10 minutes. And this is why the skylight matters, Greg. So, like, he. It's a bar on the skylight that he has to literally go and press, like, to check it off. And there's tabs, Greg. There's like, task, there's routine, and there's chore. So, like, chore, you know, make your bed, you know, get yourself ready for school, all this stuff. But, like, task. And I really focus on the routine stuff with the premise of, like, trying to wire their brains on. This is my routine of 10 pushup or 10 pull ups, 50 pushups, 10 minutes of defensive positioning, 5 minutes of jumping rope. We do the dot drill, he does the Dodger. So, like, that's an everyday thing that you have to do. Okay, that is. It is not an option you're doing. That probably takes him about 30 minutes a day. Like you. You have to do that stuff. My other son, who's, you know, he needs to add some weight and he needs to get significantly quicker in his foot, in his feet, you know, he does 10 minutes of jumping rope every day. He has to do like plyometrics. He's got to do 100 push ups and 10 pull ups. And so, like, those are things that we're building into routines for him on a daily basis. I'll never forget Greg years ago. This is probably. I'm gonna call it four or Five years ago, I was talking with Marcus Spears. Marcus is a guy that, you know, I work with. His son is the number one high school basketball player in the country. And I was asking him, you know, Marcus, when did you guys make the transition, blah, blah, blah, from like all the private lessons to like, hey, man, you got to kind of start doing this on your own. And he was like, right around 13, 14 years old, we stopped doing as much private lesson. And I said, well, what flipped for you? And he said his son Junior started to become dependent on that private lesson being the time that he kind of invested in himself. I'm at this point now where I'm trying to, you know, emphasize to the boys, you have to take a little bit of ownership of this yourself. If you do this 20 minutes a day, two things are going to happen. One, you're going to get a lot better, and you're going to improve at those things that are really important. And two, you're going to understand the benefits of making that commitment. And if you do that, I will then. I will then make my commitment of the financial and the time end from my end. And I think I gauge it, Greg, like, okay, do I have to always remind you to do it? That's part of, like, that gauging, that honesty of where are you with your actions, if you know. And so, like, that's kind of where we are with the emphasis of that.
- [28:16]
A
It's, you know, it's so funny you say that because those are the conversations that I have with the kids all the time. Like, if only. That's why I asked about, like, away from team practice. I said, if the only time. So right now, to my. My daughter and my son are playing basketball, I said, if the only time you touch your ball is at your team practice or when we schedule you like a one, a Sunday afternoon and you go do like a little skills and drills hour with like a trainer or whatever. If in between all of that, you're not getting your reps or my son right now, who's. Who's going to get ready to try out for the baseball team in the spring? He's not doing a winter sport. I said, so it's great that you go do your training in the morning. He goes every morning. Loves it. Great. I said, but when you come home, we have a batting cage that we built in our basement. You walk past. You guys have to walk past the batting cage to go play video games.
- [29:06]
B
Yeah, you have.
- [29:07]
A
You have to physically walk by. I said, so if every day you don't come home and do that on your own. But you only do it at our team practice or you only do it at your batting lesson for 30 minutes or whatever. That's not going to do it. So it's so true. They become so dependent on the scheduled workout. Yeah, it's like, hey, I checked that box. I practiced. And it's like, yes, you practiced, but you're missing the point. The point is like holding yourself. I physically put you in the car and drove you there. Yeah, but why can't you walk into the basement and do it on your own?
- [29:41]
B
See, this is, this is where this is really like the most fascinating part of all of this journey for me is because I've watched you guys have people on and I think that, and I, I have tons of respect for these people and I think some of them are ex athletes, maybe everyday people. I think some of these are specialist people and they talk about like, listen, if you have to force your kid to do it, they don't have it. Right. They're never going to make it type of thing or whatnot. And part of me like understands that perspective. I do like you. You don't have to. If you have to be the person that's constantly reminding your child to do it, they don't. I get that. But that's like the 0.00001% of the history of the population that just, they got that very specific gene that they are so internally motivated that they don't need it. And I would tell you, Greg, like, I thought that way before. Like, you know what, the boys, you know, they would prefer to play video games rather than working out. And I'm at this point in the last year where my thought, Greg, is like, of course they would, of course they would rather do that than work out. Of course that is right. And so we need to teach them. Yes. And, and if I'm going to say to my kids, because I've been guilty of this too, Greg, how many times do I have to say it to you? Right? And so if I'm going to emphasize to my kids, listen, this is just a really long process and it's going to take a long time, but you have to trust me that if you do this, the result will be this. I have to constantly remind myself, Dan, I can't just tell them 3, 4, 5, 10, 15 times in three months. You guys gotta do this. Like, it's gonna take that same commitment from me as well to have that constant reminder, that constant nudging that, hey, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, I understand that you want to go to the movies with your buddies. Did you get better today? Like, did you make an investment in yourself today? Did the 20 year old that wants to be playing long pole in Notre Dame, like, did you invest in that dude today? Or I'll say to him, like, can you give yourself 30 minutes? That's all, like, that's all you need is 30 minutes today? Like, are you willing to do that? And I think what I've seen over the past couple years, Greg, not a couple years, maybe the last year is the resistance to it is way less now. I'll say it to them and be like, oh yeah, I got it. So like, yes, there is that reality where parents sometimes I think we can fall into the trap of I am pushing them too hard, but they need that. Like they need someone at, though at this age, that 14 year old age, of course they need someone to push them more. They need that. And I think like, I have to be willing to be a little bit uncomfortable because I know that's best for them. They don't.
- [32:52]
A
If everyone thinks the NFL is full of just 100% self starters and self motivators from the time they were 10, they're lying to themselves. Yeah, there are guys that were, that were forced to play, that were driven there against their will, that were. And then over time, of course they developed in what. But there is a different journey for every single kid and creating those atmosphere, creating those environments both at home and then obviously around their teams and their schools and their coaches and all of that, that fosters like when we do our, you know, you see all the middle school game teams that we post those videos of me and Luke and Stu and my dad and we are the first to tell our families at our opening meeting, we're like, we are most likely. I'm going to bet your kid has never been pushed harder than he's about to be with us. And for those of you who have been with me since you were 5, you kind of just go, yeah, we're good. But for a lot of you new families, this is going to be a little eye opening. You unless you've played on a different team, that does it, which I hope you have, but most likely you haven't by about the second, by about the first month in. So like summer workouts get going and the kids start getting accustomed to it, the light bulb goes off and they go, first off, I can do this. Second of all, they're not pushing me because they hate me, they're pushing me because they love me and they believe in me and they see more. I always tell the parents, I said there's going to be two people that are going to limit how far your kid can go, us, the coach and you. So I said I'm gonna, we, I'm never gonna be the reason and I'm not gonna let you as the parent be the reason. We are gonna push these kids as so far and then if we get too far we'll pull the rope back a little bit. But we're never going to undershoot the target. And nine out of ten times we go past the target. But there is a work, there's a difficulty, there's a stress and I think it's so healthy for them. We see it every year.
- [34:51]
B
I, and I don't know if there's a reality to this but like I'm just going to speak from the vantage point of the focus on the boy element of it. I don't think there is a thing more important right now than it for these 10, 11, 12, 14 to 16 year old boys. I think that they need somebody in their life, whether it's their dad, the mom, an uncle, a coach, a buddy's father to challenge them with the things that they can accomplish. And then when they feel like that, that resistance to it push them and that resistance to it push them. And for me, Greg, like I used to run away from it. It's non negotiable. It's not a conversation. Like yes, if it's the older way and if you're. I say that to the kids all the time and I say it to their friends. Like, dude, I had a, one of my friends, one of my son's friends came up my son's bike to school with some friends today. A kid pulled up today. I said, aaron, what is your deal? And he's like, what do you mean? I was like, I watched you play on basketball, etc. I was like, your effort stinks. And he started to like giggle. And I'm like, I'm not joking. Your commitment to like trying in games is not good enough. And he was like, well, we've got these two other kids on our team who are like really good and dominate the ball. I was like, I'm not talking about if you're good or not. I was like, your willingness to try is not cool. And you and I both grew up with people that in sports like the cool, they thought it was cool not to try. And so like that that comes for sure. I think it's huge to have our boys and kids. And again, I don't want to just my daughter's part of this as well is like my wife and I realized how important it is to, to make sure that our kids around are spending time around kids that are like minded or their parents have a, relatively, when it comes to the sports, have a relatively similar vantage point and perspective on these sports. I say to my sons all the time, like, dude, make sure you're hanging out with the kids that want to go be good at this stuff as well. Like that's, that's going to force you to join in line and demand it as well. I say to my kids all the time, Greg, when they go to practices, you better be the first kid in line at those drills. You're not allowed to be the second one. You're not allowed to be the third one. You better be the first one in. You might be the slowest kid in the drill. You better be the first one in that drill. If I come to a practice to pick you up and it's running long and I see that you're not first in line in that drill, you're not going to like that experience afterwards. It's because you can control that.
- [37:41]
A
You're preaching to the choir. But dude, I. We're gonna have to make you like a recurring guest. We're gonna get you on every couple months and we're gonna just dive in because there's 500 other things I want to do. But I know you got a lot going on and, and obviously with playoffs and getting ready for games and whatnot. But dude, your voice in this space, obviously people see you. You're. You're on tv, you're preaching this stuff. You're on social preaching this stuff. It's so in line with what we're doing here at you think we're gonna, we're gonna have a episode 2 with Dan here shortly and we're going to keep these conversations going. Dude, I can't thank you enough for coming, making a little time for our little podcast in the midst of your busy schedule. Dude, I can't tell you how much.
- [38:22]
B
We appreciate it that I could go for hours, man. Like I said, I love it. I need it.
- [38:26]
A
I need it.
- [38:28]
B
Yeah, I need it. And I'll end with this.
- [38:30]
A
Greg, I do this part to me, this is just, it's like my therapy session.
- [38:34]
B
Dude, I was just going to say, like, not only do I need it, I think a lot of parents just need parents like us, and I need it from others challenging us to, like, dude, don't give up either. You know, I think at times, like, we can fall victim to, like, the throwing our hands in the air and giving up and, okay, like, well, you can do it your way type of thing. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, we gotta stay committed and. And focused and I guess vigilant in it as well, you know, like, we all need. And our kids all need, all of us kind of staying committed to it, so. You guys do great stuff, man. I'm always a yes, bro.
- [39:12]
A
Appreciate you. All right, we're getting. We're getting you back on here next week.
- [39:16]
B
Done. Done.
- [39:17]
A
All right, buddy. Appreciate it.
- [39:18]
B
Later, buddy.