← Youth Inc. with Greg Olsen
Youth Inc. with Greg Olsen
Pardon My Take's Big Cat Talks Family, Parenting, and Youth Sports Culture
00:37:04
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- [00:00]
A
Make sure you subscribe to both our YouTube channel and our RSS feed for all future conversations here at Youthink. All right, welcome back to another episode here on you think. And and today we probably have one of not only my favorite people on the Internet, favorite people in media, but just in general. For years now, just one of my favorite people to be around. You can't help but smile. You can't help but have a good time. Dan cats, big cat, however, you know him, barstool, pmt. One of the all time best dudes. Big cat man. Thanks so much for joining us.
- [00:33]
B
What an intro.
- [00:35]
A
I just made it up. I just made it up.
- [00:36]
B
All I do is say very a bunch whenever I intro someone. That was awesome. That made me feel really good. Thank you. And I, I, I, I feel the same way about you. So I'm happy. Before we started this, I was like, I don't even know what we're talking about, but I just say yes to anything you asked me to do and I'm ready to go.
- [00:53]
A
Hey, and I'll tell you when I, when I pass along your message about Stella Blue Coffee. Free plug, free promo. That's what we do here, friends. So here's what we're talking about. I came on PMT a couple weeks ago to talk teu and I love coming on with, with, with you guys and just talking, whatever it is, any excuse to come on them in. But you asked me a really interesting question right before we were done and you said, all right, I just need to ask. At what point do you do I just take over and get involved with my kids youth sports? Like, I sit there and I watch and I'm losing my mind. I gave you a quick answer. People loved it. Like more people were curious. I was like, there's a bigger conversation. So here we go, Big cat, like give us a quick snapshot of where you are and then we're going to dive into a little bit of this youth sports parenting. What kind of dad are you going to be? You have son, daughter. That's a whole different animal. So like give everyone a quick snapshot. Where are you in the process, ages, sports, and what level of involvement do you have as of as of now?
- [01:54]
B
Okay, so first of all, I, I just want to say, and, and if my kids ever listen to this and can use it as bulletin board material, in 20 years from now, none of my kids will be playing sports at a high level, collegiate or pro. That's just a reality of, of jeans and just what, what we're dealing With. All right. But I do think, as a kid, I played sports growing up, and I think that, like, playing sports is very important for teamwork, for competitive, like, how to win, you know, win and lose the right way, for setting yourself on a goal and, you know, being part of a team and doing something with others and also just having activities. So right now, I have. I have three kids. My oldest son is six. My middle child, my daughter is four. And then my youngest son is two. Now, I should say my youngest might. If we're. If we're just doing, like, a straight draft of who has the highest potential in terms of sports. My youngest, I showed. We were out at Chargers camp last year, and Jim Harbaugh, like, we just got talking, and I've known Coach Harbaugh for a long time. It's been awesome, like, becoming, like, real friends with him. He was asking how the kids were doing, and I showed him a picture of my youngest because I hadn't seen him in a couple years. And my youngest, obviously, was born, and. And My youngest was 1 years old. And he looked at him, a picture of him, and he goes, he's got a great skull for football. And I was like, dude, he's one. What are you talking about? So, but that was the most, like, football guy move.
- [03:25]
A
I was gonna ask, is your kid. Is he gonna be a football guy? Is he gonna be. That was gonna be my next question, because if he's gonna be in with Paul, if he's in with Harbaugh, he's got to be a football guy.
- [03:33]
B
Yeah. So. So. So. So here's where I'm at, though. So my. My oldest, like, I am very much into. He's got to do something. And we. And we're trying everything. So that's really what it is right now, is trying everything and trying to find something that he really likes. Because I don't want to be the. The. The dad that tries to push them into one direction. So we do T ball, we do basketball, we do swimming, we do taekwondo. And then for my daughter, who just turned four, she. She now does T ball with him. Like, there's a. There's a summer one where it's, like, just a practice. You know what I mean? It's not, like, teams and stuff. My son's now doing coach pitch, but, like, I wanted my daughter to do that, too. She does swimming. She's gonna. You know, if she wants to do taekwondo, she'll do taekwondo.
- [04:19]
A
She said.
- [04:19]
B
She said gymnastics. I don't even know if she knows what that Means. But she said it. So I'm in the phase right now, and you can tell me, like, you know, if this is the. The wrong approach, but I'm in the phase right now of do everything and see which one sticks. Because I want them to. Just. Because. Because I think the problem is a lot of times, like on a Saturday morning when we have. When we have T ball, my son wants to hang out. He just wants to. You know what I mean? It's the weekend his. His siblings are hanging out. They're downstairs, they're doing puzzles, they're building forts. And I say, like, hey, we got to get our uniform on and go to T ball. He doesn't want to go. He wants to hang out with his siblings. So. But I keep stressing, like, we. We made a commitment. We have to do this, and I want you to try as many things, and if at the end of the season you say you don't want to play it anymore, okay, we don't have to play it anymore, but we're going to try everything and see which sport or which activity. It doesn't have to be a sport. It can be an activity. Which activity you like. Because it can't just be school. Yeah.
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A
It can't be school and, like, hang out. Although that sounds amazing, I think we all would love that.
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B
Yeah.
- [05:23]
A
But, like, yeah, I get. So I think you're doing it right. And again, I by no means have all the answers, so I think you're doing it right. Expose them to everything. Try everything. They will gravitate towards something. At some point, the question you're going to have to ask yourself is, how long are you going to give in lead time? Because the. The notion that, like, your kid's going to run into your room and he's going to have his bat in his hand and his ball in his hand at 6 years old and be like, daddy, I need to get to the. I feel like that's like in the movies. I. I don't. I don't know. Maybe that's someone else's kids, maybe not ours. But like I said, I feel like that's a little. That's everyone's story when their kid gets drafted. It's like, since he was 6 years old, he begged me to be on the field. And it's like, no, he didn't. He didn't. Like, at some point, you made him go and you made him want to do it. So I think there is the notion of, like, all parents say, I'm not going to make my Kid and you can't. But when they're six, you kind of have to make them. You put them in the car, you're driving them there, you're signing them up. No kid is like registering.
- [06:24]
B
So.
- [06:25]
A
So there is this like, weird balance between the earlier you are, the more parent has to kind of encourage and push and expose. When they're 16, you still can't be driving them, dragging them out of the house. So I think you're doing that part right. Don't sleep on your daughter. Girls are a little later into like, my daughter never wanted anything to do with her two brothers playing. Growing up, if they were doing basketball, she was inside. If they were do, she wanted nothing to do with it. And then like fourth or fifth grade, the flip switch. The switch flipped and like I left to come do this with you and she was out with my niece in the driveway doing like a private basketball training, sweating in 100 degrees now in seventh grade. So like it flips. So don't sleep on your daughter now.
- [07:08]
B
Yeah, definitely. Definitely. The other, the other thing I'm wondering from you and I don't know, you might have struggled. It might be different because obviously, like, there might be a little more pressure on your kids just because you played in the NFL, but the. There is, and I think I've done a good job of it. I think parenting is really hard on its own and it gets really hard when you start comparing yourself to other parents. And that's the really difficult part of like having to be like, hey, my kid is my kid. They're going to do things at their speed and they're going to do things that they want to do. And you can't compare to other. Like, some of my friends will be like, oh yeah, my kid at, you know, four, wanting to play with would had a bat in his hand. Like you said, like, being like, I want to go play. And I. And. And like it's. It's just human nature to then compare your, your child. But you have to stop yourself and be like, no, that's not. I. My kid is going to be his own person and he's going to do things at his speed and just finding that balance because you're right. Like right now I do have to. To somewhat force him to do things. And, and the, the craziest thing is, you know this, like, I'll. My, my son will not want to go to Taekwondo. And then we'll go and he'll have the best time, of course, and at the end he'll be like, that was awesome. Like, I broke a board, I got a new belt, all that stuff. Like, he was so happy when he got, when he went up a level in the belt and I was just like, yeah, see, this is, I wish I could bottle this up and remind you every time we're in the car after school and being like, you want to go to Taekwondo? And you're like, no, I don't want to go. It's like, remember that moment. But it's hard because he's six. You know, it's hard for six year olds to, to, to, to understand that and like future plans. So like the comparison thing is really, really difficult. And I'm sure it gets even more difficult as you get, as your kids get older and every, you know, it gets a little more competitive and trying to, trying to navigate that where you don't want to be the overbearing dad who's not only pushing him too hard but also bragging too much about like what your kid is doing to a point where you, you're. You now become the person you don't like.
- [09:10]
A
What's up, guys? Do you want custom fanware like this cricket shirt? For Charlotte Christian School, We've got premium apparel from your favorite brands. The best part about it is I don't have to just wear it to Charlotte Christian's events. I can wear it to golf, I can wear it to lunch. It's turned into my uniform. Go right now over to Youth Inc. Sign up for our newsletter. It talks about our podcast for that week, our interview guests, all the breaking news across the landscape of youth sports. And you can win one piece of merch for your school by going to sign up today. And remember, it's not dot com, it's youth dot Inc. Now back to our episode with Big Cat and I. And I think you bring up a really good point because there is an element that again, we're, we're all biased, right? We, we all parent our kids to. Similar to our upbringing and similar to our experiences and the things that we love. We want our kids to love. We want to share the. We want to go to the Cubs game and have your kid be a die hard Cubs fan and sit in Wrigley and tell you the batting lineup. And like every dad dreams of that with their kid that you know, your kid loves football you. Because that's what we love. That's what we grew up loving. We grew up watching it and everyone wants to share those experiences with their kids. So there is that element where you have to you. I Don't know how to teach my kid to go fishing. I don't know how to teach my kid to join the band, the orchestra. If they were interested in it, I would love it. I'd be in the front row at the recital and I'd be all in if they were all in. But I only know what I know and I only know what I enjoy doing. So I guess we all are, selfishly or biasedly, whatever you want to say, kind of push our kids to try to enjoy things that we enjoy because there is an element to how cool would it be? Yeah, I love going to Cubs games, but how cool would it be if, like, me and my kid grew up going there and he was also a die hard fan? Like, right or wrong, that's in all of our brains, like, and I don't know how we fight that.
- [11:03]
B
It's. It's really hard. I, My kids have been. I have season tickets to the Cubs. My kids have been to like 10 games this year. And I think my daughter has watched like two pitches. You know, she goes, because we can get a hot dog and a pretzel and. But I, I like going. And I, I think they understand that I like going. But, like, there's times where I'm like, you guys don't even understand how, how nice is that. You've been to 10 games this year. You know, we're halfway through the summer. You've been to 10 games, like, so. But they're still so young. And then the other thing I struggle with, and this is where it started on pmt, is like, I do want to coach them. I want to be involved in that way, but I also don't want to do it too early where I think it's hard for kids, where, like, if your dad is coaching you when you're six, when you're seven, you start thinking about your, you know, it's just a different relationship. So it's like, when do I enter that? Like, I would love to, you know, coach, you know, my son playing basketball. But I also don't want to be at a. He's at a, he's at an age right now where if I'm at the practice, like, it's going to be me, like, telling him to pay attention. And I don't want to do that. You know what I mean? Because that's, that's kind of. I have to do that at home, and I don't want to have to do that when we're, when we're out, you know, doing something that's supposed to be fun with all his friends. So trying to find that balance of when I get involved and how much I get involved, and maybe it's. I don't get involved at all. But it's. It's. It's. It's. It's very difficult because I do want them to like the things I like. And you're exactly right. Like you in a dream world, it's like they become a mini me, but that's not going to be reality. You know, they have to like their own things.
- [12:42]
A
Of course. And they should. And it should be encouraged. As hard sometimes, as hard as that is as a parent, as a dad, they should. But I want to stay with that. All right, so take us inside. What about coaching them in your mind? Sounds intriguing. Is it because you sit at the practices and you're like, this is what I would do if I was coaching. I wish they did more of this or whatever. Or is it. I just want to spend more time with my kid. I want to bond over basketball. Like, what is the. What is the allure of. Of the idea of saying, I would like to. I don't know if I will, but I would like to coach my kids at some point. Like, what aspect of the. Of it do you think most appeals to you?
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B
I. I think it's just simply being, like, as present as possible and. And not being just like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna go to your game and I'm gonna sit in, you know, on the sideline and watch you play. Like, I want to. I want them to feel like I'm really invested in them because it's very important to me. And. And so that's really what the allure is like. I want. I want them to be able to feel like, hey, I. I am taking a more than just a casual interest in what they're liking and what they're doing after school. I want to be there. I want to feel like I'm. I'm participating with them because I think that's a really great experience. And I. And I want to do it for all my kids. But I also. Again, it's really hard because, like, he played basketball this year. He's. He's. He was 5 when he was playing basketball. He couldn't reach the rim. Like, he was having fun. He was running up and down the court, like, so I don't really know what I could do to coach him to reach the. You know, we have a hoop in the backyard. We've been practicing. He's, you know, we I lowered it so that he can actually start making baskets, because I think that's obviously important. If you can't make a basket, it's probably the worst experience of all time. But now he's making baskets. So we go out in the back and he's like, I want to make 40 today. It's like, all right, let's sit here and make 40. So he has shown some interest in it, but I. Yeah, it's more just wanting to feel like there's something that they like that I am taking an extra interest in. And I'm not just the passive dad who's like, all right, I'm going to drive you to the game and I'm going to tell you a good game after. I want you to feel like I'm there really supporting you. But it is that hard balance of. I don't want to be overbearing, and I don't want to push you too hard, and I don't want you to have to feel the pressure of, oh, my dad's coaching, or my dad's assistant coaching. And then you throw in the part where. And this is maybe not as relatable, but you. It's relatable to the two of us. Like, I know that my kids are going to have a little bit of a different upbringing because I'm a public figure. So trying to make sure that they have the most normal childhood they can possibly have given the circumstances that when we walk down the street, people will say, what's up to me? And it's kind of a weird experience for them. So trying to find that, too, where it's like, I know that they're not going to. It's just. It's just really what it is. I think they're going to have a great childhood. I think I'm going to be able to give them things that a lot of people probably can't. And I understand. I'm very thankful for that. But I also understand that there will be a day when. When. When they're in school, when they're, you know, 9, 10, 11 years old and they pull up a video of me pissing my pants, and they're like, this is your dad. And that's not a normal thing for most kids. So trying to compartmentalize that in my brain and realize that that day will come and trying to make it as normal as possible for them.
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A
Yeah. And so what's so cool, like, as I sit here now with three middle school kids, and you sit here very early on, like, your six year Olds, like, really just starting this path. And the four and two year old, they're just. They haven't even gotten there yet. But, like, I remember being in your shoes and everything I imagined, and I was like, all right, I know this world. I know sports. I grew up in it. I played it. Everything I imagined it being. I was probably like 75. Wrong. Like, what I thought it was going to be. I was like, that's not. When I sit here now, looking back to when they were 6 and 4. Like, you are what I thought I knew then and what I've experienced between then and now have been very different. So all I would say to you is, like, what you have it pictured in your brain of how these elementary to middle school years are going to progress? No one has any idea.
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B
Yeah. Isn't that the best part?
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A
I sure as hell don't.
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B
Isn't that the best part of being a dad, too? Because, like, and being a parent, it's. Whenever a friend of mine has a kid or is expecting a kid and they'll ask for advice, my advice is always the same. It's simply, don't listen to anyone's advice because the best part of it is figuring it out yourself. And there's no, there's no book. You can read a book if you want. You can, you can listen to everyone, but everything is different. And the trial and error is the best part. Like, that is the fun of it, of being a parent is like trying to figure it out yourself and having these moments where, yeah, you feel like you're underwater and then getting back your head above water and being like, all right, I think we got to figure it out. And then going back underwater and just the, the trial and error is the beauty of being a parent. But you're right. Like, I, I have it in vision in my head, and it's probably gonna be very different, but I just, I really am. Like, it's, it's hard to. And again, I feel bad because this is probably not the most relatable part of the conversation we're gonna have, but, like, how do you make it so that your kids have a. As normal as a upbringing as possible, given the circumstances of, like, who I am and, and, and the, the things that they're going to be like, they're going to. There will be a moment where they realize, oh, we have things, we have toys, we have vacations that not everyone has. You know what I mean? So, and, and trying to navigate that in, in the best way possible so that I, I raise Kids that become good, caring people that are. That are nice to others and, and. And accept that they have some really cool opportunities, but that it's not everyone has that and how lucky they are. Like, we went to the first Cubs game I ever went to with my son two years ago. I think he had. I think he got three balls within the first, like, inning and a half. Like, we saw Tom Ricketts walking in, he gave him a ball. We saw David Ross in the dugout, he gave him a ball. And then, like, I think there was one other player who gave him balls. Like, I was like, dude, you have three baseballs from a major league baseball game, an inning and a half in. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not what. Like, the. What. What happens. You have to realize how lucky are. We went to. I took him to his first Blackhawks game and it was Chris Chelios night, and I knew. Know some of the guys from the cup teams, so I went to say hello to him. My son got a picture with Wayne Gretzky. I was like, dude, you don't know what. Like, this is not. And. And in the car ride home after, I was like, that was the best hockey player of all time. And he was like, well, how many goals did you score in the NHL? And I was like, I scored zero. He's like, why didn't you score any? I was like, well, that's a different story. Like, but it's just so. Just trying to figure it out. I know how lucky I am, and I know how lucky they're going to be. But just trying to be like this is. You have to still have your feet grounded and understand, like, being a good person is the most important part. And if you have these lucky experiences, embracing them but knowing that they're not everyone's.
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A
No doubt. And I'll take it one step further. And I can almost. This, I can almost guarantee there, at some point down the road, there is a guy in Chicago that wants nothing more than to sit at the bar with his buddies and tell you that, hey, last Saturday, Big Cat's kid, my son struck him out. Hey, last Tuesday night at the basketball game, my kid, you know, took Big Cat's kid and dunked. Like, don't think that's not part of the reality of their upbringing, too. My, My kids go through it here again. Living here in Carolina, living here in Charlotte, like, night. Most people are really cool and nice, but, like, I know damn well there's dads in the, in the stands that when my kids up to bat. They want them to strike out.
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B
Right?
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A
They want, right, like, and that's just the reality because then they're going to tell their buddy. So in Chicago, that dude at the bar who's given war stories about his day back in, you know, I won states and I. Part of that war story one day is going to be he hopes his kid faces yours and dunks on him, scores on him, strikes him out, takes him yard, whatever it is. Like, that's another element of all this that is in your future if your kids play sports.
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B
That's true. It's true. And I, I, yeah, that's, that's, but you're right, most people are very, very cool. But yeah, that's, and it's just trying to make sure that they're not shielded, but like they have to be shielded a little bit because this is, I, I never understood the phenomenon of like putting your kids like aggressively online when they're very young. I think that's, I think that's crazy to me because it's like, I just always think about like one day they'll be in high school and, and someone will pull up a video of them like crying or saying something stupid. And like, that's, Kids are mean. You know what I mean? Like, kids are mean.
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A
Bullseye on them quick.
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B
Right, right. So I, I've done a good job of that, but it's just, yeah, just try to, try to find, navigate that whole thing. When did you start coaching your kids? Young, young, like how young.
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A
And I, I mean they were. God, I probably my oldest son, he started doing, you know, the T ball machine, pitch, coach pitch, whole world, probably like six.
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B
Yeah.
- [22:17]
A
So that was probably my first experience coaching them. We did flag football, probably give or take in that 7, 8, 9 range. So then I had both boys doing, doing T ball baseball. So I, I, I was probably their rec baseball coach when they were 6 and 5, 7 and 5, something like that. And have done that all the way through. And then as all, as all three of them got into coaching, as all three of them got into sports. Now I'm like one season of sports. So in the fall I do football, which my oldest son had played. Now my younger son's going to play for the first time. So I'll have both them. In the winter I've done my, my daughter's basketball team at school. And then in the spring I coach my younger son's baseball. So I give them each a season and listen, I enjoy it, I love it. I probably care too much and I spend probably too much time and energy doing it. And there's times where I go home and I'm like, this isn't worth it. Like, this is so much aggravation and this is so much stress in my life. Why am I doing this over middle school sports? And then the next day comes and we got practice and you're out on the field and you're pouring into these kids and your own kid and you're like, this is awesome. You know, so like it's a up and down, it's a roller coaster of emotions and stress and from parents and other teams and other coaches and that all comes with it. But at the end of the day, what I try to anchor myself in is I love pouring into these kids, boys, girls, the ages, sport. And I'm not the greatest baseball guy, I'm not the greatest basketball guy. Like I believe at the. And this is one thing I will tell you my, my biggest advice to, to people that, you know, want to get involved coaching their kids. Everyone is so concerned with how much you know about the sport. Well, did you play baseball? Did you play basketball? Did you play football? Some of the best youth football coaches never played a down a football past high school. Some of the best youth baseball coaches have never played an inning of baseball past high school. And maybe not even that. Like, how much you know about the sport at the young age means very little. And I. So I would say as your kids get older and you're. And if they do show into sports and they get into it and you're trying to pick teams, which is a whole another can of worms. Don't spend as much time worrying about the former MLB guy, the former NFL guy, the former NBA guy or, you know, whatever. Like, find someone who can communicate, find someone who's organized. Find someone who really wants to pour the energy and the structure because at the young age, that's really the biggest impact that you're making. Anybody could teach a kid how to shoot a layup. Anybody can teach a kid. But like, can you give structure and organization? That's the part that I love. That's the part that I look around to other coaches and I'm like, these guys have no idea what they're doing and they might know more about the sport than me.
- [25:08]
B
Yeah.
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A
I just think at the young age, what you know about the sport is almost the least important.
- [25:16]
B
Yeah. And it's interesting because I do think sports, youth sports are in a weird spot. Like whether you're talking about AU or all these travel, baseball Teams, because I, I do think it's gotten like, too serious too early, and, and a lot of, a lot of people put a lot of pressure on these kids and, and sports, or team sports are not vilified. But it's like this weird, you know, you see some of these travel baseball teams and like the kids wearing all the gear and stuff when they're seven years old, and it's like, I don't. That, that seems like a lot, but I do, I, like, I started this whole, you know, our conversation. I do think kids being part of a team is very important, especially at a young age. And if they're not, you know, if they don't play past the age of 10, who cares? But like, just that experience of here's how we win, here's how we lose, here's the commitment we make to the team, we don't quit on a team. Those are life lessons that I think all kids should, should experience at some point, because later on in life, you're, you're, you know, 99.99999% of them are not going to go to college and play sports or pro and play sports, but they are going to be in a setting at some point in their life where teamwork and being, and not quitting on a team and contributing to a team matters. And those are things that you can take away from sports.
- [26:35]
A
We always say if the idea of youth sports is to make professional athletes, we should just disband the entire process.
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B
Right? But it feels like that sometimes now. Right? Like, it does feel like there's some crazy parents out there that are, that think every kid is going to go pro. And it's like, I don't think, I think maybe we just need to do a better job of educating, like, parents of, of just how statistically improbable it.
- [26:58]
A
Is, you know, but it's only.
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B
How insane it is.
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A
But it's only statistically improbable for your kid. Not my kid.
- [27:04]
B
Right. Like, yeah, true. Your kid has like a 50. 50. No, no, no.
- [27:07]
A
I don't mean literally mine, but you specifically. No, no, I'm, I didn't, I didn't mean mine. I mean, like, hypothetical. That's the mindset of so many families. It's like, yeah, I, I know all the stats, but they're not talking to me.
- [27:17]
B
Yeah.
- [27:18]
A
So, like that, that mentality, I don't know how you combat that. Like, I have zero expectation that any of my kids are ever going to make a living playing sports ever. I want my kids I've been on record from the beginning. The reason I pour and spend all this time and all this energy now, if they told me tomorrow, like, I'm over it, I don't want to keep doing it, fine, I'd have. I'd be able to go on summer vacation. But the. My entire reason for pouring into all of these kids, mine and everyone else's is my greatest hope is that they all find an opportunity to have a great high school sports experience. When I think back on my entire sports journey, I've played in Super Bowls, Pro Bowls, some of the biggest college football games. Name it. The best moments that I had were with your buddies in high school. For me, it was Friday nights. Whatever the sport is, playing school ball with your buddies in your hometown, that was the biggest thing in the world at the time. Whether you went on to play college pro, for everybody on that field, whether it was your final football game or you went on to play longer, that was the biggest thing in the moment. I want my kids to experience that. I just want them to be part of a varsity high school experience. And maybe they play a little bit. They play a lot. They're good. I don't know. Whatever that looks like. I just don't think there's anything better than that. I think it's fun and cool, and whatever happens after that is irrelevant to me.
- [28:48]
B
And also, your kids probably will go pro.
- [28:52]
A
No.
- [28:55]
B
Pressure on them, but they at least have the genes.
- [28:58]
A
Before we get back into the episode, a quick reminder to follow us across all socials.
- [29:02]
B
We.
- [29:02]
A
We're posting daily content centered around youth sports. All right, let's hop back into it. All right, so, like, we've all seen the parents in the wild, right? We've seen the videos. We've seen Jaylen, that famous Jaylen Brunson video, which I happen to actually love of, like, his dad just wearing his ass out on the, like, local neighborhood court while mom videos. And he's like, I'mma kick this ball over the fence if you jog again. I'm sitting there, and I'm like, I like this guy. Like, this is my kind of guy. And everyone's like, oh, it's too hard. It's too much. And then I'm like, did you watch the Knicks this year? Do you think that just happened? Like, you think his dad was just telling him, everything you do is amazing. And he grew up to be a dog. Like, he grew up to go out there and try to kill you every game. Like, you can create that now. That's not for everyone, that's not for every kid. But like, we all see these examples. Give me your, like, I refuse to be this sports parent whether it's this year or in five years. Like what kind of sport parent are you going to be when it's not 6 year old T ball like your kids in a really competitive basketball game in eighth grade? Like, I'm talking like he's old enough to compete. Are you in the corner quiet? Are you yelling at the refs? Are you telling your wife to sit down? Like, what, what are you doing?
- [30:13]
B
I, I think it's really just the, the, the parents that are like screaming at umps, screaming at refs. That always just makes my skin crawl. I'm like, come on guys. Like this, can't you. Because, because you also like, we know like the, the refs and umps in, in these, in these youth sports, they're getting paid nothing. They're getting paid like $10 an hour. There are a lot of times kids themselves and I, I just hate those videos. So I, I think I'll do a good job of, of, of not being that guy. I, because I think that guy does suck where it's like, you know, low stakes.
- [30:52]
A
We're gonna follow up in a couple years.
- [30:53]
B
Yeah, I, listen, I, I think I can hold myself. You know, Will I fire off a tweet? Maybe, maybe. But I'm not gonna be saying anything in the moment.
- [31:02]
A
Can you please, we need to start like an account of like everything I wish I could say at my kids games out loud, but like we just start like a, like a burner account.
- [31:11]
B
Yeah, listen, you should do that. I, I, I found the hack is you just if, when you see me tweet, they're just kids, that's me just trying like I do it with college sports. I'm, I'm, I'm blaming the kids, but I'm saying they're just kids. So that's a, that's a nice out where I'm just like, hey, listen, I can't believe this. Just dribbled the ball off his, his foot in a big game. But they're just kids. They're just kids.
- [31:34]
A
And I only had a couple dollars on the Parliament.
- [31:37]
B
Yeah.
- [31:39]
A
Good news is, the good news is when you're watching your kids play youth sports, well, hopefully you have no action on the line. Right? So maybe it's going to be a little bit different than when you're watching Wisconsin and they blow a fourth quarter lead because you may or may not have bet the money line so that's, that's a positive. You're. Maybe that's why you're so relaxed at your kids games, because it's the only sporting event you ever watch that the outcome really doesn't matter.
- [32:04]
B
Yeah, that's true. That's true. Although I need to maybe not bet on games while I'm also watching their game. Like, you know, my, my son's basketball ball was like, practice was Friday nights and, and I would, I would usually like, it was like 6 o' clock on a Friday night. I'd be like, all right, what, what do we got in the Ivy League hoops? Like, you know, and I'd be sitting there, all right, let's throw in a couple bets while we sit here and watch a bunch of kindergarteners not be able to reach the rim. So do that too.
- [32:34]
A
Yale's point guard goes over six from three and you, and you got the over. And then all of a sudden you're just screaming at your kid, taking it out on.
- [32:43]
B
Yes, yes, exactly. That, that could potentially happen. That could potentially happen.
- [32:48]
A
I think there's a high likelihood it does happen and I'm here for it all.
- [32:52]
B
It has happened.
- [32:53]
A
And when it does, just call me and we can talk about it. Because chances are, whatever you, whatever guilt you bring home with you one night, there's 100% chance at some point I carried probably even more guilt over. So you can call me and we can talk through it because I have a lot of, I have a lot of experience.
- [33:10]
B
I, I actually think that's a great way to end too, because I think parenting just in general, not even talking about sports, like I said, going back to the competitive nature of it. There's no one out there who's like, got it figured out perfectly. And I think the pressure of, oh, they've got it figured out. Like, it's always nice when I'll see other parents struggling in the wild and I'm like, yeah, that's, that's, that's what it is. Like, they were all dealing with this, you know, like we're at a restaurant and one of them's not like, is going crazy. It's like, we gotta, we gotta order our food in five minutes and eat it in two and get the hell out of there. Like, seeing it, it reminds you that there is no perfect child. There's no kid that's just, you know, sitting around and has unbelievable manners at five years old. But there's those moments where you think that your kid is the only kid, but who is doing this and just to remind yourself to not be hard on yourself and not be competitive with yourself and other kids, because every single parent is dealing with the same thing. And we have. We have a really bad thing that happens in society where we pretend that everything is perfect. When it's like, sometimes you just got to talk about, like, hey, this is not. Yeah, this is a struggle. This isn't easy. Like, bedtime isn't easy. It's a war every night in my house. Guess what? It's probably war in everyone's house every night. So we can't pretend that it's something different and put that pressure on ourselves.
- [34:35]
A
No doubt. Well, that is how we're going to wrap. Because dad to dad, friend to friend, just sometimes it's cool to just talk and chat and just say, oh, my God, we are all sharing the same struggle, and we are all in the same battle, and I don't have the answers. I'm 10 years down the road from where you are, and maybe in 10 years, I'll have better advice for you other than just do the best you can. But, dude, I appreciate you coming on. It's just cool to get different people's perspectives on their own parenting styles, their own kids. A lot. Some of it's similar, some of it's very different. And just as a friend, dude, as a dad, just appreciate you coming on and shooting the for a little bit and talking this crazy world of parenting and youth sports and all the good and bad that comes with it. So appreciate you, man, for joining us.
- [35:20]
B
Love it. Of course. And, And. And when I. When we get further down the line, I'm happy to come back on and give you a new set of problems that I have.
- [35:26]
A
I just can't wait till you come on in, like, five years and your kids playing, like, competitive AAU basketball. Your daughter's in gymnastics, your younger ones, just like the gym rat son, the little brother who's just brought to every gym and you don't even know where he is during the game. And Big Cat is on the end of the bench and he's sweating. He's got a clipboard, and everything you just said has been complete. I can't wait for that day.
- [35:50]
B
Well, listen, listen. I'll be honest. The baseline that all I. All I need my kids to be able to do is have a jump shot because they. My. My. My office has a full court gym, so if they don't have a jump shot, that's one thing where I'll be like, I failed because someday they'll try to take a jump shot and people like, dude, didn't you, like, grow up with a. Access to a full court basketball gym? Can't have that. That's the only. That's all we're looking for.
- [36:15]
A
That's a reflection on you. That's because that's a reflection on just you as a father. Like, that's a tough one. That's a tough one to go to bed with at night.
- [36:22]
B
Yeah. So get a jump shot.
- [36:24]
A
Get a jump shot. All right. That's fair.
- [36:26]
B
All right, buddy.
- [36:27]
A
I appreciate you, man.
- [36:28]
B
Of course, man. That was fun.
- [36:29]
A
What's up, guys? Do you want custom fanware like this cricket shirt? For Charlotte Christian School, we've got premium apparel from your favorite brands. The best part about it is I don't have to just wear it to Charlotte Christian's events. I can wear it to golf. I can wear it to lunch. It's turned into my uniform. Go right now over to Youth, Inc. Sign up for our newsletter. It talks about our podcast for that week, our interview guests, all the breaking news across the landscape of youth sports, and you can win one piece of merch for your school by going to sign up today. And remember, it's not com, it's Youth Inc.