← Youth Inc. with Greg Olsen
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- [00:00]
Greg Olson
We drive home. We're like 20 minutes from our house. It's snowing, the roads are busy. My wife made dinner. And he goes, dad, I don't have my backpack. And I'm like. Like you left it at. Like you left it in your locker outside. I left it on. I left it on the football field.
- [00:14]
Penn Holderness
On the field.
- [00:14]
Kim Holderness
100%.
- [00:15]
Greg Olson
Youth sports in America are at a crossroads, and I'm here to help lead the conversation forward. I'm Greg Olson. Each week we're sitting down with top athletes, coaches, and more to talk about what's working, what's broken, and what's next. Welcome to you think. Well, the Holiness family, you were. You were kind enough to have me on your incredible channel. The. The work that you guys do, the videos you put out, the amazing family content, and now your lifelong dream of being on a show where we talk about all things youth sports and parenting. So I know this is something you guys have really been anxious and eager to join me here on.
- [00:51]
Kim Holderness
You think your joke. You. I know you're joking, but you realize my son wanted to call in sick so he could just be here to.
- [01:01]
Penn Holderness
Be a production assistant and he would be fine talking about youth sports or the Panthers or Greg Olson or whatever.
- [01:06]
Kim Holderness
Whatever.
- [01:07]
Penn Holderness
Yes.
- [01:07]
Kim Holderness
Yeah. Whatever you needed him to do, he.
- [01:08]
Penn Holderness
Is not happy to be at school right now.
- [01:10]
Kim Holderness
Yes, correct.
- [01:11]
Greg Olson
How's he feeling about the Panthers? Oh, depends on the week.
- [01:16]
Penn Holderness
I actually, Kim, can I quote you really quickly? She had an amazing quote about the Panthers that I think works well for this podcast. She said, I really wish that AAU coaches had as much patience with their players as the Panthers are having now with Bryce Young.
- [01:33]
Kim Holderness
So I will say this. My son plays AAU basketball. He misses one three pointer out, you know, and that's. And it's. It's frustrating as a parent because you're like, yeah, you got it. No, nobody makes every shot, but they. They. They rip those kids out and they. They lose. It's. It's hard, right? This sweet boy, Bryce Young, bless his heart, is getting a lot more chance. And I'm not a football. Like, I don't. I watch the Panthers because my son's obsessed. But I was like, God, I feel like if he played AAU basketball as a 15 year old boy, he wouldn't get this many chances.
- [02:09]
Greg Olson
That might be the best line I've heard in a really long time.
- [02:12]
Penn Holderness
Right.
- [02:12]
Greg Olson
And it's an. It. Yeah, I'll just leave it there because I'm sorry.
- [02:17]
Kim Holderness
I'm sorry for the lawyer. I mean, I Know, my son. My son doesn't like when I say that. He's a loyal Bryce Young fan. Yeah. Yeah.
- [02:25]
Greg Olson
So.
- [02:25]
Kim Holderness
So he just.
- [02:26]
Greg Olson
We are. My boys are loyal. There's something about Bryce Young that I think all young boys love, and we all love him because he's like, the guy you want your kid to look up. That's right. And the way he acts and the way he talks and his maturity. So I. I get the loyalties. But, yeah, it. It depends on the week, I guess. Right. Like, one. I had them when they beat the Panther. I had them when they beat the packers. And then last week against the Saints at home. But anyway, that's a great segue. I do want to know because I know that I'm the crazy parent in the. At times, I'm the first one to raise my hand in the gym. I'm not the coach right now in basketball season. So I just got done off of coaching football where, like, I'm in control. It's my team. I get to coach everybody. And now I'm not the coach, and I'm just the dad sitting in the bleachers. Just, like, living and dying with every possession. What if I had a hidden camera on you guys in the gym at a 15U. AAU basketball tournament? What kind of vibes are we putting off?
- [03:24]
Kim Holderness
Depends.
- [03:24]
Penn Holderness
Yeah, I'm on the bench. I've been an assistant for every. For every.
- [03:29]
Greg Olson
That's going to be great. Yeah.
- [03:31]
Penn Holderness
So I've been an assistant for every team that my son has played on in aau.
- [03:36]
Kim Holderness
So he's the one taking him out of the game. I'm kidding.
- [03:39]
Penn Holderness
I am. So. I have a tough time when he's in the game. I am watching him exclusively, and I don't do a good job watching anybody else on the court. It is impossible not to look at your son because he's trying something really hard, you know? And I know that his mood is going to be, unfortunately, probably fairly attached to what his performance is like during that game. And so I. I definitely am watching him more than anyone. I'm trying to be, like, the hype man. Outwardly, I'm the hype man. There is absolutely. It's okay if something goes wrong. That. That was amazing. If something goes right. Hey, I noticed when you did that. And I say it to all the kids, but in. At the meantime, I'm internalizing a lot of feelings as well. Such as, oh, my gosh. He didn't. He's in the wrong spot. Oh, my gosh. He got scared and he Threw the ball away. And that builds up inside a person over a season or two of watching basketball.
- [04:36]
Kim Holderness
I'm a very. I just hope both teams have fun type of mom. I. If the other team makes a great shot, I'll clap and people, like, the parents will look at me and. But I don't know, like, they should be out there having fun, and they should be out there like, you got to be impressed if somebody on the other team makes a great shot. I will. And have. I'm like, if a ref isn't. If it isn't calling it and kids are getting hurt. I have been known to, like, raise my voice and say, like, come on. Kids are getting hurt out there. Like, I've been that person, too.
- [05:09]
Greg Olson
No way. You actually raise your voice in the gym. I do that. You. I know more like me.
- [05:14]
Penn Holderness
What?
- [05:16]
Kim Holderness
Oh, yeah.
- [05:17]
Greg Olson
Silent.
- [05:18]
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
- [05:19]
Greg Olson
And just. I'm listening to you guys because it, like, it just. Every time I talk to people who, like, give me how they act during the games, I sit here and I just feel worse about myself when. I'll tell you it's hard to internalize all the things you're thinking about your kid. My advice would be if you just set them out loud, it feels so much better. Just, you're in the wrong spot. You gotta finish. Stop. That's what. That's probably. The mistakes that I made is I. I err on the side of just. There's nothing internalized. It's just. It's thrown out there in the real time. And sometimes I go, probably should have kept that to myself.
- [05:57]
Kim Holderness
Yeah. We. I would say Penn does a really good job of, like, letting the coach talk, and I don't know enough about, like, where he should be to know the difference. So. That's easy. For me. I might. My issue is, like, especially in an AAU tournament, they need to get through those games kind of fast. And some. So sometimes they're not. They're ref. Listen. They're working hard.
- [06:15]
Penn Holderness
They swallow the whistle.
- [06:16]
Kim Holderness
Yeah. And they just don't. And kids actually end up getting hurt. So, like, that's the only time when I raise my voice. But, yeah, it's. It's hard. Yeah. Like, watching your kid out there doing a really hard thing is. It's just hard.
- [06:28]
Greg Olson
I. I get it. And I'm not sure what's harder. The. All the emotions and the stress that comes with coaching it and being responsible for what's going on out there or not being responsible for it and having no say and no control over what happens. I'm not sure which one. I'm still torn on which one I like better and which one drives me more crazy. At times I say I never want to coach. I just want to sit in the bleachers like everybody else because this is a lot of stress. And then at other times I'm like, I can't sit in the bleachers and watch this. I need to go out and coach. I go back and forth.
- [07:03]
Penn Holderness
All right, so there is, I believe strongly there is a period between about 13 and 16, right? That's, that's when you first start kind of developing hormones and you start going to like real travel tournaments. And then 16 is when you've got a license and you just kind of go to your own tournaments and your parents sometimes don't even show up. And in a lot of cases, like the recruiting has already worked itself out and the pressure is off. But there's a period, an athletic period between 13 and 16 that I think is the most important period for a child athlete to have an adult role model who is not their parent. And so that's totally agree. That's one of the reasons that I keep doing this. Anytime they ask, like I know I said I mostly watch my kid, but it's also my job at the end of the bench when a kid comes off of the, of the court and they are completely dejected and are flooded. And I, I assume, even though it's not always case, that they're going to hear it from their parents because that's like on a highly competitive team that happens like you know, they, the parent gets in the car and was like what was going on out there. And so I think that kids like that are feeling so deeply, I think they flood emotionally and are in a time of real despair. And if you can be a force of support, understanding and empathy for a kid like that on that part of the bench. And I've seen it with other adults too. I just think it's incredibly important to have a non parent support system when it comes to that.
- [08:29]
Kim Holderness
And we've been really lucky. Our, the basketball coaches, they've been great. They've been, they've been really good for my son and that he's going to listen to them more than he'll listen to either of us.
- [08:37]
Greg Olson
Right.
- [08:37]
Penn Holderness
But they like me at the end because I'm like the, for the other kids. Yeah, I'm the, I'm the, the grief counselor basically at the end of the bench. And I try to keep it light and positive. But like I've seen I've seen coaches like that be that person for my son, and I've seen how that's helped kind of get him through tough times.
- [08:56]
Greg Olson
I just, I think that's so well said. And we joke about our. All our shortcomings as parents. At least I'm very outward about my shortcomings and whatnot. And I just think it's so cool to just see your perspective and your just big picture view of not only your kid, but then just how your role can complement the styles of the other coaches and help other people's kids. And I think that's probably the biggest thing when you coach your kids team. I think all of us, all we want is for the other parents to say, yes, he's there with his own son or daughter, but he genuinely is there for our children, too. Like, he loves our children too. And I. I guess if at the end of the season that was all the other family's takeaway, I think I'd be pretty happy with that.
- [09:39]
Penn Holderness
Yeah.
- [09:40]
Kim Holderness
Yeah. And I'm sure you.
- [09:41]
Greg Olson
So kudos to you. Kudos to you. I do want. I know millions and millions of people. I want to take a step back here and take a wider view at everything that you guys do and represent and, you know, millions and millions of people follow your content, your videos, all the stuff that you guys make is. Is just. Is really incredible. Take us back, though, to the why behind it. For anyone not familiar with your channel, for anyone who's maybe new to just rediscovering, just discovering you recently, like, why put your lives out there? Why put your vulnerabilities, your strengths, your weaknesses, your family, each other. What was. Give us the idea of the inspiration for why you guys even built this channel, to have these conversations to share your lives with millions and literally millions and millions of people all across the world.
- [10:30]
Penn Holderness
Yeah. The actual genesis story might be relatable to people with kids because here in the south, you send Christmas cards to. You take a picture of your family and you send a Christmas card out and you mail it.
- [10:42]
Kim Holderness
I think that's pretty universal. Yes.
- [10:44]
Penn Holderness
Okay. So it's everywhere. Great. That's wonderful to hear. And so our kids wouldn't sit still. They were like 6, 4 and 6 years old. And so we decided to make a music video about our year instead of like the letter of what's been going on. And we put it on YouTube also announcing that I was quitting my job because my wife wanted to try something new. And. And so we put the video out and it was called Christmas Jammies. And it went, like, viral. It got 20 million views, I don't.
- [11:14]
Kim Holderness
Know, or something like that. Yeah.
- [11:16]
Penn Holderness
And was on a bunch of national TV networks. And we were already quitting to start a production company. But we. This sort of new platform presented itself to us. YouTube and Facebook, where people were looking for content like that. And we sort of slowly started making more and more videos like it. And that's evolved over 11 years into just really, like, a family storytelling business that largely involves us and not our children.
- [11:43]
Kim Holderness
Right. And, Greg, I'll be super honest. We put out that first video in 2013 and sort of closed the laptop and walked away and then opened it the next day. And, like, Good Morning America was calling that today. She was calling. We had no idea that you could do, like, whatever it is. This is that what we do, like, for a job. So it wasn't a business plan. Our business plan was to go make videos for other people to be behind the scenes. So it even took us a couple years after that before we started routinely doing our own content. We didn't even know that this could be a thing. But we both came from a news business, a journalism background. We love writing. We love putting, like, my favorite thing is just to, like, put something really goofy together. And right now, instead, you know, like, the vehicle. We live at this really cool time where the vehicle's the Internet. And so we can just, like, the. The process of creating and making has, like, we were doing that before, but now we're just doing it on the Internet. So that's how. And we continue to learn, and we continue to fail, and we continue to try things that don't work. So, I mean, obviously we have people that work with us now, and there is the business plan, and there are all these plans. But, yeah, we're still trying to figure it out every day.
- [13:01]
Greg Olson
And so many of your videos are fun and they're light and they're humorous, and they're family. But, like, what would you say that you want them to be, like, anchored in? Like, when people watch, aside from the entertainment value, aside from people laughing or maybe they're having a tough day and they come across one of your videos and it brings them a little joy, like, at the end, at the real core of it, like, what would you say is, like, the anchor of your process, your. The anchor of your videos? Like, what do you want your family, your channel to be known as?
- [13:31]
Penn Holderness
We are doing the best we can, and we know that most parents are doing the best we can. That leads to, as Kim Said failure. And a lot of times humor. And when we laugh at ourselves about our foibles and mistakes and things that go on in our life, we want the people who watch us to have permission to also laugh at their own.
- [13:51]
Kim Holderness
Yeah. So we sort of came up with an internal sort of mission statement, which is permission to laugh. So if our content strays from that, if it punches down, if it seems like mean or it's making fun of somebody, I mean, we've shot plenty of videos and we looked at them, we're like, that's coming off a little mean spirited and we've hit the delete button. So at the end of the day, it's just giving people permission to laugh.
- [14:17]
Greg Olson
Would your kids say your parenting style aligns with the two people we sit here that are so light and fun and casual? Like, is that exact. Would that be your household if one of your kids came home with a D on his report card? Or he came home and he was out past his. And he came out because he was out past his curfew. Like, are you parenting in the same capacity as these videos?
- [14:41]
Penn Holderness
I hope that our general baseline is positive and encouraging and energetic and self aware and self deprecating. I hope that that's. We. I believe yes to that. But if you come home with a D, you're going to hear about it.
- [14:55]
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
- [14:56]
Penn Holderness
Because that's a lack of effort. The things that we don't really tolerate in our house are lack of effort and dishonesty.
- [15:02]
Kim Holderness
Right.
- [15:03]
Penn Holderness
Those are the two things that you see. Mom voice or dad voice.
- [15:07]
Kim Holderness
Yeah, but I do. We have a lot of, like, there's a lot of laughing. Like this guy that he makes the dinner table really fun. There's a lot of laughing. And I, I mean, I feel pretty lucky to be a part of a family that has that much fun, but exactly what Penn said. Because in my experience, if, if you have a C, sometimes you're really, really trying to get a C. And we'll, we'll get cookies and we're celebrate. But you have a D. I think that's a lack of effort. So that's no bueno.
- [15:35]
Greg Olson
What's up, guys? Do you want custom fanware like this cricket shirt for Charlotte Christian School? We've got premium apparel from your favorite brands. The best part about it is I don't have to just wear it to Charlotte Christian's events. I can wear it to golf. I can wear it to lunch. It's turned into my uniform. Go right now over to youth.inc. sign up for our Newsletter. It talks about our podcast for that week, our interview guests, all the breaking news across the landscape of youth sports. And you can win one piece of merch for your school by going to sign up today. And remember, it's not dot com, it's Youth, Inc. Now, back to our episode. It goes to so much more than just school or whatever, whatever it is, because the same thing in the sports world, you know, so we got three young kids. I have an eighth grade boy and two seventh graders, and they're all three wrapped up in their own sport right now, in their own training and their own, you know, practices and whatever. And some of the games go well, some of the times they strike out, sometimes they get a hit, they miss shots, they turn the ball over in basketball, whatever it is. And the hardest thing we find for our kids. So I'd love to hear, like, your approach towards, like parenting on this is, I try to beat him over the head with just focus on the work. Like, stop worrying about how many hits you had, how many points you scored, Are you a starter? Are you the sixth man? Like, whatever all of that is will take care of itself. But, like, if you didn't have a good game, let's really evaluate, what did you do leading up to that game and should you have expected to play well? And if the answer is, I did everything in my possible, everything in my power that was possible, I just, the ball wouldn't go in or it just wasn't my best day, we can live with that. Like, where I get frustrated is you're upset you didn't play well in the car, you didn't get a hit in baseball, or you missed your three point, whatever it was. And then I asked him and I say, well, when was the last time outside of your team practice, when was the last time you went outside and worked on your shot or went downstairs and worked on your bat, you know, your bat path and your hands or your fielding or whatever skill it is. Like, if you're not going to put in the work, why are you expecting to do well at it? And the same thing in school. Are all your assignments turned in on time? Do you have all your stuff checked off? They have these. Like, I'm sure everybody has it now, but, like, you can literally go into like a portal and see all of your kids assignments. Yeah, like, oh, and my wife is much better following it than I am. And like, if you have a one, that means, like, there's a placeholder because you haven't turned in a homework assignment or something. So we say to him, like, you don't have a good grade in that class or you have a B or whatever, but you got like three assignments that have been turned in late. Like, that's just laziness. Like, right, so how do you guys parent that? Like, how do we get the kids to focus on the process of the work and not be so reliant on the outcome?
- [18:21]
Kim Holderness
I think it's interesting with sports, we have similar conversations and I think now he knows not if he has a not ideal game or tryout or something. He actually knows not to complain too much because he knows we will like, what the answer is, which is, first of all, watch the professionals. Steph Curry doesn't make every shot. Like, you try your best and you do this for a living and sometimes it just, the ball does not go in. And did you actually do all the work you could have? Probably not. I can say. So he actually knows that now he's been trained. But with school we are pretty. Like, he's very self aware. He has adhd and dude, he is. That kid is trying so hard, but there is a lot to keep up with for a sophomore in high school taking advanced classes with adhd. So what he's got better about is asking for help. And so like that, like, for a while he was just kind of suffering by himself. And our biggest thing was, dude, this has to be hard for your type of brain. Ask for help. So now he's doing a better job.
- [19:32]
Penn Holderness
Yeah. So adhd, there's a component of it where like your working memory is, is a challenge, right? Working memory is like what is in the forefront of your brain and then what's in the, what's in the back. And because of that, that deficit that you have in your brain, kids with ADHD famously finish entire projects and then forget them in because it's left their working memory. And it's, it's one of the most common complaints that we've heard from parents because we've written two books about it. We hear a lot from parents about it and like, that's a tough one to parent, right? Like if it's, if, if it's a kid who decides that they want to go out with their buddies and just like, you know, it's not that important to me, I guess that's different. But you kind of, to me, we do make, try to make a connection before we get on them. We try to say, hey man, I know this is hard for you. I know you're trying really hard. Um, what, what can Then, then ask the question, like, what can we do to, to fix this? What upstream solution can we come up with to solve this? Because the average ADHD child gets either scolded or corrected 10,000 times in his childhood.
- [20:46]
Kim Holderness
And that, I mean, and then you add sports onto that.
- [20:48]
Penn Holderness
So like it might be more for.
- [20:49]
Kim Holderness
Some, it's probably a whole different stressor. That's a whole different stress. So family sports is like this fun thing you do. It's, it's probably not a path to college in our family. So we really are hardcore on school. Like if he's not out PR practicing like his shot, I care a little. I care a lot less than if he's not turning like the student athlete part. Like the student part is more important in our house.
- [21:16]
Greg Olson
Yeah. So quick aside, but I'm just young teenage boy brains, my 14 year old. So after after school these last couple weeks, I help out with the varsity football team at the kids school. So it's K through 12, so they all, they're all at this same school regardless of what grade you're in. And so my, my one son's not doing a winter sport, so he comes home after school with my wife. And then the, my daughter and my older son, they play on the school basketball teams respectively. And so they, I go help with the varsity football team and then they get out of practice, they come out and then we come home together. So I'm out there. Yesterday, it's snowing in Charlotte. We're practicing. It's. It was like a really cool moment. It's dark, the lights are on. We're getting ready for the state semifinals and the football playoffs. Like it was a cool thing. Take my, my older son Tate comes out there, it's snowing. The kids are yelling and running around like, like a lot of like snow energy. Yeah. Down south you don't get a lot of snow, as you guys know. Well, long story short, we drive home, we're like 20 minutes from our house. It's snowing, the roads are busy, it's traffic. And we pull into the driveway, all we want to do is get inside and warm up. And my wife made dinner. And he goes, dad, I don't have my backpack. And I'm like, you left it at, like you left it in your locker outside. I left it on the football field.
- [22:36]
Kim Holderness
On the field, 100% it is.
- [22:38]
Greg Olson
It's like snowing slash raining. So it's wet and nasty and it's 20 minutes away. And we just got home and it's 30 degrees and I think a year ago I would have been pissed.
- [22:51]
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
- [22:52]
Greg Olson
Like, I would have given him the whole, like, you got a lot. You know, you gotta have pay more attention. You gotta lock in this. You're too old for this. But, like, what I've learned and listening to you guys say it, it's like I'm really no different.
- [23:05]
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
- [23:05]
Greg Olson
I'm super scatterbrained. Anyway, so, like, I'd be more. So I was like, all right, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna go in, Mommy made dinner. We're gonna sit down and eat dinner. Whether it's for five minutes or 20 minutes, we'll see how long it takes. I'll go back and get it so you can make sure you take care of. But when I go back and get your homework, Mom's not going to be happy that you're not starting your homework till 8 o' clock at night. You might want to, like, get in the shower, do all your nighttime stuff, like, get rolling. Don't just sit around and watch Monday Night Football. Because I'm, like, giving you a little bit of a hall pass here. But like, come on, man. Like.
- [23:39]
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
- [23:39]
Greg Olson
In my mind, I want to be like, you left your backpack on the football field. Oh, yeah, the snow.
- [23:47]
Kim Holderness
But he's like, I learned it from you, dad.
- [23:49]
Penn Holderness
It's really nice to hear that we're going through the same stuff as an NFL hall of Fame tight end.
- [23:55]
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
- [23:56]
Greg Olson
Everyone lives the same life.
- [23:57]
Penn Holderness
Yeah.
- [23:57]
Greg Olson
Yeah.
- [23:58]
Penn Holderness
It, like, it is a little refreshing to me.
- [24:01]
Kim Holderness
And I've heard, I've heard the parents that are like, well, just gonna sit there, you know, I'm. You forgot your lunch. I'm not going to bring it to you. I'm with you, Greg. I forget stuff all the time. It is really, I do believe, especially a student athlete and how rigorous the demands of school is, no matter what level you are, like right now, I think it's hard to be a teenager. So we, if. If you are willing to do the work, we will supply endless grace. But you have to show me you're doing the work. Like, your son had to get in the shower, he had to help mom with dishes, he had to be ready. So when you brought the wet backpack back, that soaking wet. Soaking wet. That he could lock in. And he needed to lock in. Yeah.
- [24:43]
Greg Olson
And I guess. Yeah, I'm with you on that. I do have a question, because I know in our house the answer. But I'm curious. In your house, like, say your son does something wrong. I'm not saying something like critically serious. Just a typical boy. Something dumb, bad test, grade something at school, whatever. He needs to break some level of news to the family. Who, who's. Who's getting the news first because he knows it's going to be received maybe the easiest. Or it is. Or is this like a family at all at once discussion? Like, how is it in your house?
- [25:18]
Kim Holderness
There's a text message.
- [25:19]
Penn Holderness
Yeah. He sends a text to both of us.
- [25:22]
Greg Olson
Expect that. Soften the blow.
- [25:24]
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
- [25:25]
Penn Holderness
Yeah.
- [25:25]
Kim Holderness
And he falls on the sword.
- [25:27]
Penn Holderness
Yep.
- [25:27]
Kim Holderness
And he's like, listen, I messed up and I'm gonna. This is what I'm doing to make it right. And it's not a behavior thing because he's, he's such a good kid. But like, if it's a school grade situation, he's like, I've already talked to the teacher. Yeah.
- [25:45]
Penn Holderness
It's interesting with Lola, she. Daughter, she comes to me.
- [25:49]
Kim Holderness
Yes.
- [25:50]
Penn Holderness
First.
- [25:50]
Kim Holderness
Yes.
- [25:51]
Penn Holderness
Right. And that's. Greg's nodding his head and I think we know why.
- [25:55]
Kim Holderness
Yeah. No, just. It is interesting. She tells me certain things and then.
- [26:00]
Penn Holderness
If she tells you about kissing boys.
- [26:02]
Kim Holderness
And she kill you for saying.
- [26:04]
Penn Holderness
And she tells me, I mean, she's in college now, we're okay. And she tells me about.
- [26:08]
Greg Olson
I was, I was like, okay, we're good. Yeah. I'm sitting here, I'm like, she's 18. My daughter, my daughter kisses boys. She's only 13.
- [26:15]
Kim Holderness
18. She's 18.
- [26:17]
Greg Olson
She knows not to come to me with that. That's going to be a mom conversation. Yeah, sure. I will not handle that. Well, I'm, I'm very straightforward with that. Conversation is not going to be a strength of mine.
- [26:30]
Kim Holderness
But a lot of change, a lot of things change between 13 and 18 with your girl. It'll change.
- [26:36]
Greg Olson
She. I make her like every day. We have like this running joke now because she's like getting big and she's tall. And like, when she was little, like, you'd want to sit on dad's lap and you'd want to read a book and watch a movie. But now she's like 5, 10. Like, she's just like a big, you know, tall, getting older. My wife always says, don't refer to her as big. I'm like, I mean it in like a good thing. Like, she's tall and healthy. When I say big, I mean as like a positive. But apparently to a teenage girl, that's not. Dude. Honestly, their dad calling them big. Same thing.
- [27:05]
Penn Holderness
Same thing happened to me. And Kim had to explain it to me. And it's, that's tough for us to understand. Right. Because we're, we're giving them a call and.
- [27:12]
Kim Holderness
But so our daughter's also 5:10, and she was 5:10 in the seventh grade when all the boys were like, 4:11 still. Right. And she actually, I think she got measured and she.
- [27:25]
Penn Holderness
Sorry about that.
- [27:27]
Kim Holderness
She actually grew another half an inch last year. So I think she's five ten and a half. She wears her cowboy boots to the football game. She's over 6ft tall, and she loves it. But when daddy and, you know, was calling her big in the seventh grade, she like, she's like, stop calling me Big. He's like, you are big. It's great. Like, people celebrate big. She's like, you can say tall, but not big.
- [27:50]
Greg Olson
And that's just, that's exactly.
- [27:52]
Kim Holderness
Yeah, yeah.
- [27:53]
Penn Holderness
Like, why is it there a book that they hand dads when their daughter turned 13 that says, here's what you should and shouldn't?
- [28:00]
Kim Holderness
And there's so much to unravel because big is not bad. But there's a whole separate podcast about girls and body image and what's programmed into our heads and that. Because big is not bad, you know, but, yeah, it's the language we have to use around our girls, especially that don't fit into the five foot two, petite, teeny, you know, weenie, like, clothing sizes that are in every mall. It's, it's, it's just harder. And I'm five' four, so she's, she's tall. She's always been taller than I am. So I think it's also hard when, like, you're taller than your mom and you can't share clothes and stuff like that. Anyway, separate podcast.
- [28:39]
Greg Olson
No, I, I, I'm learning it. I grew up with all boys. I had no sisters, and my daughter, my, my wife had just a sister. So she grew up in a house where it was all girls.
- [28:49]
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
- [28:49]
Greg Olson
I grew up in a house that was all boys.
- [28:52]
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
- [28:52]
Greg Olson
So, like, the conversations at the dinner table that my wife is accustomed to her whole life and the conversations at my dinner table were very different. And, like, she's having these all, like these intimate, deep conversations. I'm like, we're supposed to talk about all this. I didn't think we were supposed to talk. Share all of this. She's like, yeah. I was like, well, it's news to me.
- [29:12]
Kim Holderness
Just push those feelings deep down inside, Greg.
- [29:14]
Greg Olson
Yeah, just figure it out. Just figure it out.
- [29:18]
Kim Holderness
Rub some dirt on it. Figure it out.
- [29:20]
Greg Olson
Yeah, but I, but I do. But I do make my daughter for, like, and it's getting less. Like, it used to be. Like, I get her for like a couple minutes, and now I get it for like five seconds. But I have a rule, like, every day she has to come sit by me. But, like, it's lasting, like, less and less and less. I get it. Like, what teenage girl wants to go sit by their dad on the couch and, like, snuggle, you know, like, she doesn't want to do that anymore.
- [29:43]
Kim Holderness
Well, she'll come back. Yes, she'll come back.
- [29:45]
Penn Holderness
She will come back. So, like, when they're. This may be too much information. When their body changes. I love it when they're, when their body changes. It's a transition that they're very uncomfortable with. I mean, if they're uncomfortable with it around. Boys are going to be uncomfortable with. Around their dad. I had, like, the side, the one arm butt out side hug from her from about 13 to 17, and now she's back. She's like, you know, it just takes a while to get back to that comfort. And she's, she's back to snuggling with me. She, you know, she'll. She'll just come put her head on my shoulder. And it's, it's heartbreaking when it stops, but once you understand what's happening, like, she's becoming a woman. Right. It makes it more understandable. So I think the fact that you're, like, making yourself available and, and you're that safe spot, like, it's going to. It may even happen quicker for you than it does for other people because you're doing all the right things.
- [30:34]
Greg Olson
Yeah, I'm. It doesn't offend me. Like, I joke that it hurts my feelings, but, like, they know it. They know I'm joking.
- [30:42]
Kim Holderness
Yeah. Like, yeah, you're safe. You're safe.
- [30:44]
Greg Olson
Funny. You make funny. You guys used to really want to spend time with your dad. Now you don't want to sit in your room. Like, I'll make like, my passive aggressive comments and they're like, dad, stop. We see you all day. I'm like, you're right. I'm always around.
- [30:56]
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
- [30:56]
Penn Holderness
Can I give you another thing? Can I give you another thing that.
- [30:59]
Greg Olson
Can take all the advice? I'll take it.
- [31:00]
Kim Holderness
All right.
- [31:01]
Penn Holderness
So Kim taught me this. You're a dad. You think that it's your job to be your daughter's hero and to solve any problem that she might have. You are. That is how we are programmed as men to, like, if there's something wrong? You want to solve it? Sweep them off their feet, whatever. So Lola would come and start talking to us about her feelings, and I would stop and interrupt her in the conversation and say, well, why don't I just do this? Or maybe you should just do this. And Kim was like, honey, if you just shut up and let her talk, she's going to tell you so much more. So just shh. Don't try to solve everything. Listen and say, man, that's really hard. And I learned that while being married to her. But I never really applied it to my daughter until she became a young woman and it became really important.
- [31:42]
Kim Holderness
And now she tells him everything.
- [31:43]
Penn Holderness
Now she tells me everything.
- [31:46]
Greg Olson
I want her to tell me everything to a degree.
- [31:48]
Penn Holderness
Yep, I gotcha.
- [31:49]
Kim Holderness
And she will. She'll know the line and then she'll turn to mom.
- [31:52]
Greg Olson
You got to go talk to mom.
- [31:55]
Kim Holderness
I have a crush on this boy. Yeah. Like, that'll go to mom.
- [31:57]
Greg Olson
That's a mom. Yeah. No, I'm kidding. I. That's really good advice. Shutting up and listening is probably something I can improve on. I do. I have one more piece of parenting advice that I am going to ask you guys. I think it's really interesting. Parents that have boys and girls.
- [32:12]
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
- [32:12]
Greg Olson
Like sons and daughters. Like, parenting styles. My boys always give me a hard time because they say, I give Talbot, like, so much more Grace and I'm so much more. Talbot is my daughter.
- [32:22]
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
- [32:23]
Greg Olson
And they say I give her, like, so much. I'm much more patient. They're like, oh, if that was me. Oh, if that was us. Oh, you would never do that to us. And like, I kind of chuckle, but then I don't know if this is good parenting or not, so I'm just going to throw it out there. And I was like, all right. I said, you guys want me to treat you like a 13 year old girl? I will. Like, I. I just, I always tell him, I said, the boy, the world doesn't need any more soft boys. So, like, I don't know, like, I probably am wrong. This is probably like a parent, like a psychologist is probably going to listen to this and be like, this guy's messing it up. But, like, I do kind of think there's a little difference in how you parent boys and girls. Like, it's different. When I coach my daughter's basketball team, people like, how do you coach your daughter's fifth grade girls basketball team? Because they just watched me coach 7th and 8th grade boys in football. And like, we get after it and we coach them hard and we love them hard and it's demanding and it is a little bit different. I don't know if that's good or bad, but like there is a little bit more understanding. There is a little bit of a lighter atmosphere, a little bit more of a looser. We're not yell, you know, we're not on these young girls like we maybe do with the boys. Like, am I crazy?
- [33:32]
Kim Holderness
I think it's worth zooming out and taking a look because as a, I was a dancer, so as a 13 year old girl I was getting yelled at plenty and I accepted it and I feel like it made me pretty, pretty tough. So I don't think you necessarily need to hold back to protect girls. I also, I also feel like there is room in this world for dudes that know how to like rationally process feelings. And I don't know if. And I think like a lot of what's happening in the world is like a whole bunch of men that don't know how to process their feelings. So there's probably. We do parent. I think it's a birth order thing. My daughter would say my son gets away with everything. So I think that's more birth order. I think we were first time parents. We call her our first pancake. Like we didn't know what we were doing. So we do, we do parent differently, but I don't know if it's because of gender.
- [34:38]
Penn Holderness
Well, we also had.
- [34:39]
Greg Olson
Yeah, she's younger than him, so that could, that could be, that's fair because we changed her easily.
- [34:44]
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
- [34:44]
Greg Olson
And she has a twin brother who we probably are a little bit easier now that I think about. We're probably a little bit more patient, easy on him than we are the older boy. So maybe that's more of it as well.
- [34:55]
Kim Holderness
Yeah, it's.
- [34:56]
Penn Holderness
It's gonna get interesting for you too, Greg, because like what happens when you're. If your daughter decides, okay, she's five' ten now, she like really wants to make, you know, varsity sports and a potential like college career.
- [35:06]
Greg Olson
Yeah, we go hard. Don't get me wrong, we, we treat her sports just like the boys.
- [35:10]
Penn Holderness
Okay.
- [35:10]
Greg Olson
We treat her school. So I want to be clear here. Like when we coach this, I don't mean our, our level of expectations, our demand, what we ask the girls to do. I would tell all the fam. Like I tell all the girls just because I tell all the parents, like I'm gonna coach your daughter to the same high demands to the same as I do the boys. My Delivery might be a little bit different.
- [35:35]
Kim Holderness
And I, and I think the demands are any different and I think that's fair because also you can get into the gender roles of that. Like being screamed at by an adult man when you're 13 might be a little. Might be a little. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Like that might be a little harsh. I think there is a lot. Listen, like, both of my kids have been screamed at by coaches, but they've like, I think there's a way to do it. Like there, there are certainly examples, especially for my daughter who played tennis and her coach would say, like, just get your first serve in. And she's like, oh, really? Like there are things you. Oh, is that what you're supposed to do? So, like, I think there are ways you can, like, you can, you can do it and make sense.
- [36:21]
Penn Holderness
Yeah, for me, I think, like, we are, in a lot of ways we're coaches, right. We're coaching our kids and trying to develop them the best as best as we can in life. And I think you coach your kid as hard as they want to be coached in some, in some situations. Like, our daughter made it clear she wanted to be a four year starter. She thought about wanting to play tennis in college and she wanted to go to a high tier academic school. And so in order to make those things happen, we had to, like, I.
- [36:51]
Kim Holderness
Mean, she required very little.
- [36:53]
Penn Holderness
She did require very little. That's a good point. But I mean, like, we, we, you know, when I played tennis with her and things weren't going well, like, this is, I, I made some very clear corrections. And yeah, she, like, you know, they may not love the feedback, but it's your job to, to try to get your kid to what, whatever it is that they want to be. And so like, asking them about those goals, I think is a super important part of, of life. And I'm sure when we talked on our last podcast, you made it clear that you talk to your kids about goals too. So that's, I think that's, to me, the difference isn't gender. It's like, how, how far do you want to take this? Because I can't take you any farther than you want to take it. Like trying to coach a kid who doesn't really want to do, you know, they don't want to play varsity basketball. I'm not going to, like, they're going.
- [37:43]
Kim Holderness
To scream at this kid.
- [37:44]
Penn Holderness
Yeah, exactly.
- [37:44]
Kim Holderness
Who just wants to play rec ball.
- [37:46]
Greg Olson
Yeah, yeah, there's a, there's a, there's a style for everyone right there's a pot. There's a top for every pot. Yeah. And I'll tell you what, to just finish on this coaching thing and I'll let you guys go. I actually, and my wife would say it all the time. She's like, coaching Talbot's team is so good for you. Oh, I was like, you're right. Like now when I coach them, they were in fifth and sixth grade, so they were young. This was very introductory level basketball. Most of the girls had never seen a basketball.
- [38:15]
Kim Holderness
Love it.
- [38:16]
Greg Olson
This was very cool church league basketball. And coming off football, where we've had these kids for years and they're 14, 15 year old boys. Like they've played for me before. They're used to me. They've been around me. I've known, you know, I've been coaching the boys team since they were little. My daughter was later to getting into sports and now she loves it. She. She made her school basketball team. She runs track and field. So like it was just a little bit of a later. She was not the girl who grew up that, you know, when she was a little girl was on the, in the driveway playing basketball with her two brothers. That was not her. It was, it was a little bit later into school. But I say all that because I feel a little more like self conscious. So maybe this is more of like a me problem. I feel a little bit more self conscious in the gym and I'm the guy on the bench because it just happened to be basketball, right. Like what I'm able to do at a football game and be in the loud and the instruction, it's outdoors, the kids are far away, people are far away. It's a different environment of coaching. There's an intensity that the sport demands that anyone. Like it's the only way to do it. Like there is no other path. Now I walk into a basketball gym of sixth grade girls and it's like, am I really gonna be that guy? Now don't get me wrong, we are coaching. Everything they do, we are instructing. Our practices are highly demanding, organized girls. We're going to pay attention. But like my wife jokes, my first ever girls practice that I had with Talbot, they were in fifth grade. And I came home and I was like, Kara, this is driving me insane. Like, all the girls hair is down. Like no one puts their hair in a ponytail.
- [39:57]
Kim Holderness
Look weird. Yeah.
- [39:59]
Greg Olson
That next practice I go and I'm like, girls, I know you're just. You don't know me. I'm Talbot's dad. Everybody, every practice we are Going to start with putting our hair in a ponytail. And then it became like a joke, and it became like a tradition. Like, all right, practice is starting. And like, everyone would joke, like, all right, coach, look, my hair is in a ponytail. It was like a light way of getting them going, but, like, we coach them hard. We demanded high things. I think our style, like our delivery was 100% different while still being demanding and still holding them the high standards and still saying, hey, listen, just, we're gonna. If this was the boys team, we'd ask them to do this. So why would we not do it for the girls? Like, we're not gonna ask less of you because you guys can do this. I don't want my daughter's friends at school being like, d, your dad's crazy. Your dad yelled at me. Your dad is me. Like, I don't want. Oh, God, 12 year old girls. The boys, I'm like, I'm gonna kick you in the ass. Like, let's go, we're fine. Let's go for pizza. You know, like, it's. I don't know, I just, I think.
- [41:03]
Kim Holderness
That'S the difference in, like the gender thing too. Like, I would feel, I feel so comfortable with my daughter's friends. Like, you know, I feel so comfortable with my son's friends. There's like, I think it's just like a gender thing. I'm definitely the mom. Yeah. It's just different. Yeah.
- [41:18]
Penn Holderness
Greg, can I ask, like, you can cut this out of the podcast, but can I ask you a, like a semi personal question?
- [41:24]
Greg Olson
I'm an open book.
- [41:25]
Penn Holderness
Okay. How. How far do you want to take this coaching thing? Like, you're.
- [41:29]
Kim Holderness
Penn thinks you should be coaching the Panthers?
- [41:31]
Penn Holderness
I didn't say that.
- [41:32]
Kim Holderness
But you can cut this out.
- [41:34]
Penn Holderness
But you're like, everything I'm hearing from you, like, you're learning all these valuable lessons, coaching your kids. I know you love coaching your kids. You know so much about football. There's like, everyone's getting fired. Like, have, have you, have you given that any thought in your life?
- [41:52]
Greg Olson
I have. I love coaching. It is by far the favorite, my favorite thing that I do. Like, I don't get me wrong, I love calling the games. I love being a part of the broadcasting games on Fox. Like, that's a fun job and it's challenging and I love it. So. But on a personal level, like, nothing fills my bucket more than, like, being on the field or in the gym or whatever the sport is. Like, especially with the, with this age of kids, like middle school. To high school has been by far the most fun ages. Like, they're old enough to connect with them, they're old enough to do it. They're. They're not just little kids. You're not babysitting anymore. Like, we're playing real sports now with these kids and the last couple weeks, like being with the high school kids on the field. These kids are 18 years old, they're men. They're going, you know, some of these kids are going to army and Air Force and Naval Academy and they're going to like major institutions in a couple months. Like, these are like grown men out there. Like, the way you can speak to them, the way you can connect with them, you can hold. You talk about holding kids to high standards, like 18 year old grown men, boys like you, you can ask a lot of them and they love it and they love to be held accountable and they love to be told that they're better than they think they are. Like, that's the part that I love. The football's the easy part. Like, yeah, you can teach kids coverages and blocking. I love the grind of it. I love spending time on the field. I love that it was 30 degrees snowing and we're out there. I'm telling the boys, like, I have a joke. I was saying to the boys last night, I said, hey, you know who's not cold? You know, all the kids hands are in their pockets. I said, hey, you guys can be complaining that you're cold, but all the teams that lost, all the teams that seasons are over, they're playing basketball and the gym's not cold. So if you guys are tired of being cold, you can just lose on Friday night and your season will be over and you don't have to worry about practicing in the cold. Like, and they look at you and they're like, all right, I get that. Like, we should probably stop being, you know, like, I love it. So to answer your question, I'm always going to coach this age. Like, as my kids continue to get older, I will be as involved in the school with their teams, the boys, the girls. Like, I'll be as involved that the school wants me to be, allows me to be anything beyond that. Like what? I love coaching in the NFL? Yes. Would I love coaching college? Probably not.
- [44:15]
Penn Holderness
Okay.
- [44:16]
Greg Olson
More about just the dynamics. Yeah, not for me. Like, I'm not in the business of like telling 17 year old kids. It's just not my style, recruiting and all that. But I gave up like my lifestyle for my entire life of being Gone of being all consumed in my industry was fine. My kids were little. My wife understood it. We met in college. She knew the deal. But like now to go back and do it again and give and move around the country and be at the office till midnight and never see my kids, never see them play sports because you're so locked in on coaching and in so high demand. I'm not willing from a lifestyle standpoint to make that commitment. The job I would love, the job I could do, no question. I'm not willing to do that from a lifestyle standpoint. I want to be around my kids. I want to pick them up from school. I want to go do pizza on Friday afternoons before the varsity games. Like, I live for that Monday through Friday experience with everybody. You're not getting that if you're coaching in the NFL. It's just not. That's just not your life. So it's more of a lifestyle thing that the demands of the job and what it takes to do it at a competitive level. I would love to.
- [45:28]
Kim Holderness
I love that answer because I think that. And you can obviously cut this from the podcast, but I think there's a lot of people who sell their souls because you're like, that is what you're supposed to do. Like, we get up, like, we get phone calls for opportunities that would require us to move or do that. And we're like, why? Like, we have a really nice life here. We get to go to the basketball. Like, we're good. So you're setting a great example. And maybe when you're an empty nester, maybe that's when NFL comes calling and.
- [45:56]
Greg Olson
You'Re an empty net. When I'm an empty nester, my wife is going to. I don't have a resume. I've never applied for a job. But if I did, my wife, I think when the kids go off to college and I'm following her around the house Monday through Friday because I have no teams to coach, I have no kids.
- [46:10]
Penn Holderness
She's going to send.
- [46:11]
Greg Olson
She's going to be sending my resume to every high school, Little League, Pop Warner team. She's like, you should go coach the team around the. That's. So that's my. So my dad was my high school football coach, okay, 40 years he coached me. Both my brothers all went on to play college football and. But that, that's all my dad did. Both my parents were school teachers and they were both coaches. Then my mom had us and she just ended up doing like 40 years of teaching. And my dad was a 40 plus, year, varsity football coach in New Jersey, where we grew up. But now, obviously, their grandparents, they live a stone's throw away from us around the corner. He's coaches with me, football. And no one is happier than my mom. No one is happier. Like, he'll go up and sit in his office. She'll call me and she'll be like, I haven't even seen your dad today. I'm like, why? What's he doing? Well, he played a little golf this morning, but then since he's come home before practice, all he's done is sit up in his office and watch film and draw.
- [47:10]
Kim Holderness
Oh, I love it.
- [47:10]
Greg Olson
Then he's gonna go to practice. She's like, it's so nice. The house is quiet. So that's gonna be. I can. That's in a handful of years. That's going to be.
- [47:20]
Kim Holderness
You're like, I have a LinkedIn page. That's weird. I never made it.
- [47:24]
Greg Olson
I just got an email, thank you for volunteering to coach the south Charlotte Patriots 12U Pop Warner team. And I look weird. Look, my wife's gonna be like, I don't know how that happened. I love it, though. Like, it honestly is. It's a lot of work and it's frustrating, and at times you're like, why do I do this? Like, this is so aggravating. But then once that initial, once that wears off and, like, you come back to reality, it's like, I cannot wait to go back to practice tomorrow. Like, I cannot wait to see. And then you see the boys and they see at school and coach, I can't wait for next year. And, like, to your point, about, like, the boy thing, like, you're comfortable. You give them a hug, you grab them. I. I have one last funny story for you. I don't know how much you guys like these stories.
- [48:10]
Kim Holderness
I love them, love them, love them.
- [48:13]
Greg Olson
So I'm used to. This was another big thing about, like, me learning how to coach boys versus girls, right? So since my boys were little, coaching their teams, you could, like, I need the kid to move. You could grab them by the arm and you'd be like, hey, so stand here now, look. And like, we're demonstrating and I put my hands on them and we're talking about, like, all right, when we block, here's how we tackle. And like, you ne, like, it's a very, like, hands on. We're coaching, we're punching bags. I'm showing them how to hold the bag, like, whatever the sport, you know? And then I found myself at My daughter's basketball gym, and I'm like, talbot. So I ended. I was so uncomfortable, like, just trying to be respectful of, like, these young girls, and, like, I don't even know them, and, like, I'm not gonna, like, grab her arm and, like, turn her. Hey, no, this is where you need to stand. Put your hands here. Like, so I was, like, really having a hard time, like, interacting and demonstrating physical skills. So finally, I was just like, you know what? It has to be my daughter.
- [49:16]
Kim Holderness
Yes.
- [49:17]
Greg Olson
And then I had, like, this, like. And I say it as, like, a joke, but it became, like, something I would, like, stress about. Like, it was really, like, stressing me out because I'm like, I'm not getting my point across, and I'm not able to, like, really show them out of respect for these young girls. But I was like, I can do it to my daughter. So, like, Talbot then became like that, and it became like a joke. All the girls would, like, laugh. They'd be like, all right, Talbot, come here. They're like, all right, Coach Greg needs to show us something. And I'd be like, here's how we defend box out. We got to get, you know, whatever. The thing is, because I'm like, she's my daughter. If I grab her arm to lift her arm up and teach her how to catch the ball or move her hips this way, because she's not denying the pass or whatever it is, like, that was so foreign to me.
- [50:01]
Kim Holderness
Yeah.
- [50:01]
Greg Olson
Because even now, when I see the girls, I'm like, high fives. Everyone's getting nothing else.
- [50:05]
Kim Holderness
High fives are nothing.
- [50:06]
Greg Olson
High fives. And then with the boys, I can, like, put them in a headlock, and I could hold them. And. Yeah, it's been. But it's been such a fun challenge connecting with young girls who I've never been around. I never had sisters. So, like, I. And that's why my wife says she's like, this is the best thing for you. And she's right. Like, I would coach my daughter's team all day, every day. I'm not her coach. If I could be, I would. I think they're a blast. I think they're adorable, and they're very. They're much better listeners than the boys.
- [50:40]
Kim Holderness
I will say, when my daughter played middle school basketball, it was like prison ball. The girls were so much rougher than the boys, which is why I was like, these girls, they were. My daughter fouled out of every game. She was, like, clotheslining people. It was. They were so much rougher than the boys. Okay.
- [51:00]
Penn Holderness
I will say, though, Greg, I know it's been good for you. It's good for the girls, too. I'm going to. Like, we started with this, but I'm going to quote Dr. Lisa D', Amore, who's been in our podcast infinity times, and she has said this every time she comes on. She's like, for that middle age grade for women, girls who are getting older, like, science has shown the most important mental health element for them, not parents. It's what they call caring adults. Having caring adults outside your family that you can make connection with. That kind of show them the norm of what it's like to grow up and to be a human being. So, like, what you're doing is such a great service for those girls. It's the reason I do middle school, by the way. I have the same problem the first day of middle school practice. We have to show them how to box out. And for guys, boxing out is not a comfortable, pleasant thing to learn in practice.
- [51:49]
Greg Olson
No. Oh, I'm sure as hell a lot more comfortable boxing my son out than my daughter.
- [51:54]
Kim Holderness
Right?
- [51:54]
Penn Holderness
That's true. They're like, there is a coach who I heard yelling during a game, but to nut, like, that's what. That's what he yelled for boxing out. I was like, it was. Yeah. And I was.
- [52:05]
Kim Holderness
You're not screaming at the girls?
- [52:06]
Penn Holderness
No, don't scream that at the girls. No, you can definitely cut that out.
- [52:10]
Kim Holderness
Definitely.
- [52:11]
Greg Olson
No, that's real. That it's all. I just think it's cool that everyone understands. Like, there's no science. This is not. There's no rule book, there's no playbook. Everyone's just kind of figuring this out as they go. And I think that's the beauty of it. That's the fun part. Like, I've been around sports my entire life. It's really all I know. And like, I'm laying in bed because I'm saying I'm doing a bad job teaching fifth grade girls. No, Whatever. The element of the game is, like, I gotta just figure it out because I've never taught fifth grade girls how to do it. In my brain, I know what it looks like and I know, but it doesn't matter what I know. It's what we get them to know. And every kid, every age, they all take things at different levels. And that's coaching, right? Like, coaching is figuring out how to connect with each individual kid appropriately. Some kids need to be kicked in the ass and some kids need to be talked to quietly in the corner because it's the only way to get through to them. And the art is figuring out who's who.
- [53:12]
Penn Holderness
Yeah.
- [53:13]
Greg Olson
And then you got to bring them all together and do it as a collective unit. Like, that's the part of it that I love.
- [53:18]
Kim Holderness
You're a good coach. Those kids are lucky to have you.
- [53:21]
Greg Olson
I'm not a good coach. I feel like I at least can recognize when I'm bad at something. That's why you're goodness is a skill. Awareness is a skill.
- [53:29]
Kim Holderness
Fair.
- [53:30]
Greg Olson
All right, well, I can't thank you guys enough. These are like therapy sessions for me. I get to bounce ideas off parents who are living similar, but a little further down the head. As far as some of these challenges we face as parents, and so many of the. So much of the work you guys do, I know it's fun and it's humorous at times, but it's real. And your videos are real, and they make an impact on people. And I know firsthand I've come across a bunch of your content, and it makes me at least take a stop, a laugh. And then I also go, all right, I gotta evaluate. Like, am I doing these things right? So I appreciate you guys for coming on. You think? And it's been really cool to get to know you guys. Tell all the kids we say hi and hope the Panthers have a better week.
- [54:11]
Kim Holderness
Thanks for having us. This has been so fun.