Podcast Summary: "The Holderness Family on Parenting, Coaching, and Youth Sports"

Podcast: Youth Inc. with Greg Olsen
Host: Greg Olsen
Guests: Penn and Kim Holderness
Date: November 25, 2025

Episode Overview

In this insightful episode, Greg Olsen sits down with Penn and Kim Holderness—viral content creators and parents—to discuss the shifting landscape of youth sports, the art of parenting in high-pressure athletic environments, and the joys and headaches of raising children in today’s fast-paced world. The conversation blends humor, humility, relatable stories, hard-won wisdom, and practical advice for parents and coaches alike.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Navigating Parenting Styles in Youth Sports

• Greg shares the spectrum between the hands-on intensity of coaching and the powerlessness of watching as a parent. He admits to sometimes vocalizing his thoughts during games, but also sees value in introspection and restraint.

  • Greg, on expressing emotions:
    “My advice would be if you just set them out loud, it feels so much better. Just, you’re in the wrong spot. You gotta finish. Stop. That's what—That's probably—the mistakes that I made is I err on the side of just... it's thrown out there in the real time. And sometimes I go, probably should have kept that to myself.” (05:18)

• Penn describes being the assistant coach who's emotionally invested in his son’s performance, but also the “grief counselor” for other athletes at the end of the bench. His focus: offering empathy during tough moments.

  • Penn on his bench role:
    “Anytime they ask... at the end of the bench, when a kid comes off court and they are completely dejected and flooded, I just think it's incredibly important to have a non-parent support system when it comes to that.” (07:02)

• Kim characterizes herself as the “let everyone have fun” mom, but admits raising her voice when safety is at stake.

  • Kim on her approach:
    “If the other team makes a great shot, I’ll clap… if a ref isn’t calling it and kids are getting hurt, I have been known to raise my voice and say, like, come on. Kids are getting hurt out there.” (04:36)

2. The Pressure on Young Athletes

• Comparison to pro sports: Kim delivers a notable analogy, comparing the patience given to professional athletes like Bryce Young to the stringency in youth AAU basketball:
  • Kim:
    “This sweet boy, Bryce Young, bless his heart, is getting a lot more chance. ...I feel like if he played AAU basketball as a 15 year old boy, he wouldn’t get this many chances.” (01:32)
  • Greg responding:
    “That might be the best line I've heard in a really long time.” (02:09)

3. Role of Coaches and Non-Parent Adults

• 13-16 is crucial for outside mentorship:
  • Penn:
    “There’s a period… between 13 and 16 that I think is the most important period for a child athlete to have an adult role model who is not their parent.” (07:02)

4. Balancing Parenting and Public Storytelling

• Origin of the Holderness Family content:

  • The “Christmas Jammies” video went viral unexpectedly, leading to the expansion of their storytelling and family-focused channel.
    • Penn:
      “We decided to make a music video about our year instead of, like, the letter of what's been going on. And we put it on YouTube… It was called Christmas Jammies. And it went, like, viral.” (10:42)
    • Kim adds:
      “It wasn’t a business plan. ...But we both came from a news business, a journalism background. We love writing. ...We’re still trying to figure it out every day.” (11:43)

• Mission statement:

  • Kim:
    “We sort of came up with an internal sort of mission statement, which is permission to laugh.” (13:50)
  • Penn:
    “We are doing the best we can, and we know that most parents are doing the best we can… we want the people who watch us to have permission to also laugh at their own.” (13:30)

5. Parenting Teens: Process Over Results & Handling Challenges

• On effort and honesty:

  • Penn:
    “The things that we don’t really tolerate in our house are lack of effort and dishonesty.” (14:55)

• Parenting with ADHD in the mix:

  • Kim:
    “He has ADHD and dude, that kid is trying so hard… Our biggest thing was, dude, this has to be hard for your type of brain. Ask for help.” (18:20)
  • Penn expands:
    “Kids with ADHD famously finish entire projects and then forget them in because it’s left their working memory… That’s a tough one to parent.” (19:31)

• Greg relates with a personal story:

  • “[My son] goes, Dad, I don’t have my backpack… I left it on the football field... I think a year ago I would have been pissed... but like, what I've learned... is like, I'm really no different.” (22:35)

• Giving grace, but expecting initiative:

  • Kim:
    “If you are willing to do the work, we will supply endless grace. But you have to show me you’re doing the work.” (24:00)

Notable Moment

• Greg, on parents receiving bad news from kids:
  • “Who’s getting the news first because he knows it’s going to be received maybe the easiest…?” (24:43)
  • Kim:
    “There’s a text message… He’s like, listen, I messed up and I’m going to... make it right.” (25:17)

6. The Complexity of Parenting Boys Versus Girls

• Communication and physicality:

  • Greg expresses his learning curve:
    “I have one last funny story… coaching boys versus girls… with the boys, I could grab them by the arm and demonstrate… with girls… I was so uncomfortable... So finally, I was just like, you know what? It has to be my daughter.” (48:13)
  • *Kim and Penn affirm the girls’ toughness but encourage awareness and sensitivity in coaching delivery.

• Body image and language sensitivities:

  • Kim on language with daughters:
    “She’s like, you can say tall, but not big.” (27:49)
  • Greg:
    “My wife always says don’t refer to her as big. I mean it in a good thing.” (27:05)

• The value of ‘caring adults’ outside the family:

  • Penn quoting Dr. Lisa D’Amore:
    “For that middle age grade for women, girls who are getting older, like, science has shown the most important mental health element ... it’s caring adults [not] parents.” (51:00)

7. Coaching, Career Choices, and Sacrifice

• Greg’s perspective on coaching professionally:

  • “I love coaching. It is by far… my favorite thing that I do… but… I’m not willing from a lifestyle standpoint to make that commitment. ...I want to pick them up from school. I want to go do pizza on Friday afternoons... You’re not getting that if you’re coaching in the NFL.” (41:52)

• The Holdernesses on family priorities:

  • Kim:
    “There are a lot of people who sell their souls because, you're like, that is what you're supposed to do… Why? We have a really nice life here. … You’re setting a great example.” (45:28)

Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• Kim’s AAU/Bryce Young analogy: “I really wish AAU coaches had as much patience with their players as the Panthers are having now with Bryce Young.” (01:16)
• Greg on parental empathy: “Everyone lives the same life.” (23:55)
• Penn on why kids need coaches who aren’t parents: “If you can be a force of support, understanding, and empathy… I just think it's incredibly important to have a non-parent support system when it comes to that.” (07:02)
• Kim on content mission: “If our content strays from that, if it punches down, if it seems mean or it's making fun of somebody, ...we’ve hit the delete button. ...It’s just giving people permission to laugh.” (13:50)
• Greg on the art of coaching: “Coaching is figuring out how to connect with each individual kid appropriately. Some kids need to be kicked in the ass and some kids need to be talked to quietly in the corner...” (52:10)

Notable Segments & Timestamps

• Introductions & Parenting During Games: (00:00–06:16)
• On Emotional Support and Role Modeling for Teens: (06:28–09:39)
• Origins & Intentions of Holderness Content: (09:41–14:17)
• Parenting Style Alignment & Expectations: (14:17–16:15)
• Effort vs. Results in Sports & School: (16:15–21:16)
• Handling Forgetfulness and Parenting Grace/Accountability: (21:16–25:14)
• Secrets, Communication & Gender Differences: (25:14–32:11)
• Coaching Boys vs. Girls – Tactics, Sensitivities, and Reflections: (32:11–53:12)
• Coaching Aspirations and Work–Life Priorities: (41:18–46:10)
• Closing Reflections & Impact: (53:12–54:10)

Tone & Style

Lighthearted, self-deprecating, honest, and deeply relatable. The episode is filled with laughter, accessible wisdom, and mutual encouragement between parents walking similar roads—underscored by a spirit of humility and a commitment to growth.

Final Thought

This episode offers a rare blend of practical parenting, laugh-out-loud stories, and moving reflections on what it means to raise kids—and coach—in today’s world. Whether you’re a coach, parent, or simply someone who cherishes family and sports, it’s a rich listen that resonates across backgrounds.