Top Athletes Give Best Youth Sports Advice of 2025

Summary

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Youth Inc. with Greg Olsen

Episode: Top Athletes Give Best Youth Sports Advice of 2025
Date: December 30, 2025

Episode Overview

This special "Best of" episode of Youth Inc. with former NFL star, youth coach, and parent Greg Olsen brings together highlights from the year’s most insightful conversations with top athletes, coaches, and thought-leaders in youth sports. The focus is on actionable advice for parents, coaches, and young athletes navigating the complex and often high-pressure world of youth sports. Topics covered include leadership development, the benefits of multi-sport participation, fostering positive team culture, promoting self-motivation, balancing enjoyment vs. pressure, inclusion, female representation, and the crucial role of recovery.

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Key Themes & Discussion Points

The Value & Virtues of Sport

• Sports as a Low-Risk Place for Personal Growth
  • Pete Miller (01:09) explains:

    “Sports are a low risk place to practice virtue. … It’s a space where I can go out with other young people and if I fail, and I will fail, I’m going to be OK.” (02:13)

  • Emphasis on growth through failure, not just physical or competitive development.
  • Life lessons about resilience, patience, teamwork, and courage are best learned on the field.

Failing Forward

• Alec (cohost) reflects,

  “All the life lessons that I’ve truly internalized … come because I lost or I failed and then you truly have that change, that catalyst.” (04:03)

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Fostering Self-Motivation in Young Athletes

• The Role of Parents and Coaches in Motivation
  • Pete Miller (04:51):

    “One of the biggest squashers of self-motivation are coaches and parents, which is kind of depressing. … But the best thing for our kids to stay self-motivated is—it's the word ‘self’. It’s not me, it’s not dad-motivated, YOU-motivated.”

  • Parents must “let go” of their own expectations and encourage true autonomy (05:10–06:14).
  • Guidance and support should replace overbearing “preordained thoughts.”

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Making Practice Fun & Gamified

• Innovation in Coaching: Gamifying Practice

  • Baseball Coach (06:45) shares an example from working with the Braves:

    “It was just to get their minds off of actual internally focused [thoughts] and like, get it out there. … Sometimes you gotta do that. Make it fun and make it competitive…” (07:32–08:27)

  • Gamifying drills for youth and pros alike keeps engagement and progress high.

• Alec on the value of this method:

  “Competition, even with grown men, brings out that kid in you.” (09:22)

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The Dangers of Early Specialization

• Multi-Sport vs. Early Specialization

  • Basketball Coach (likely from a major program) challenges the current trend:

    “Any, I’d argue, I’d be in any debate with anybody telling me that specialization at an early age is the best way. No athletic development, okay? Competitive stamina … you learn all that from different sports.” (09:52–12:02)

  • Multiple examples (LeBron James, Gary Harris) illustrate that the best athletes played several sports.

• Greg Olsen (12:10):

  “I talk to so many coaches…they all give your answer about multisport, yet everything that you hear as a parent…is specialize, specialize, specialize.”

• Basketball Coach responds:

  “It’s an unbelievable disconnect. It’s an agenda… 78% of NFL draft picks were multiple sport athletes in high school.” (12:32)

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Building “We” over “Me” Team Culture

• How to Encourage Unselfishness & Team Play

  • Basketball Coach on recruiting:

    “So let’s go find players that are unselfish, guys that are willing to switch positions, who are going to play really hard. … At the end of the day, it’s not just being a good player, it’s being a good teammate.” (15:54–17:51)

• College coaches look for coachability, team-first attitude, and willingness to take on roles—not just flashy stats.

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Enjoying the Journey & The Power of Role Models

• Love of the Game vs. Pressure

  • Tennis Coach (19:33) on enjoyment:

    “For sure, as somebody who is around them, I prefer to work with somebody who is actually enjoying it…if I could pick…who do I work with? Of course I’m gonna choose somebody who is enjoying it … you can enjoy different things.” (19:33–21:26)

• Social support, relationships, and mentorship (both formal and informal) help sustain athletes through tough stretches.

  • Suggests intentionally building sports friendships from a young age for long-term well-being.

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Culture & Communication: Handling Tough Conversations

• Managing Roles and Playing Time

  • Volleyball Coach (24:58) on team culture:

    “We cannot take for granted if our culture is good … we have to deal with [issues] right away. Dealing with it doesn’t have to be harsh…it’s pivoting, getting us…back on track.”

  • On players not embracing their roles:

    “I try to give specific things of what they need to do…when they do it, they’re going to get a text from me…to reinforce, ‘I’m super proud of you.’” (28:40)

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The Crucial Role of Representation

• Why Flag Football Needs Female Coaches

  • Flag Football Advocate:

    "When sports explode like this … we start to see less and less women at the top … I want to make sure that women and girls know … there is a place for them in all spaces on the sideline as coaches, as officials, as ATs.” (30:29–31:40)

  • On broader impact:

    “…if we want to see flag football do for girls what football has done for boys, then I think you have to show her what the future looks like. And you do that through coaching.” (31:57–33:03)

  • “If you can see her, you can be her”—empowerment, confidence, and modeling.

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Honest Regrets & The Limits of Systemic Change

• Sports Parenting Reflection

  • Alec on regrets (34:32):

    “My only regrets are the times I didn’t take my advice … especially in the car, wanting to talk about the game and fix all the things he did wrong…”

  • Systemic reform in youth sports seems unlikely due to business interests, but families, individual coaches, and clubs can still create positive experiences.

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Mistakes Coaches Make—and How To Do Better

• Coaching Pitfalls

  • Alec:

    “We have all these requirements now, hours of safe sport training and concussion … but a lot of times a volunteer youth coach gets four hours of training and we haven’t even talked about football or soccer, basketball, and what does a great practice environment look like?” (37:14)

  • Coaches should create enjoyable, challenging, well-organized practices—and focus on positive team dynamics and encouragement.

    • "The rule of one": one positive comment can sustain a kid’s motivation for a long time.

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Recovery & Mental Health: Filling the Tank

• Youth Inc. Host:

  “All of it needs a reset. I call it filling your tank.” (40:07)

• Athletes need structured time for physical, social, and emotional recovery.

  • Early in college, recovery was unplanned—rest as needed. Later as a pro, it was scheduled, considered part of training (“rest is also training”).
  • Encouragement for young athletes to be attuned to their needs and communicate about rest.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Virtue and Failure

  • “Let’s give our kids a space to fail … a little failure is good for all of us.”
    Pete Miller, 02:13–04:03

• On Over-Parenting

  • “The best thing for our kids to stay self-motivated is—it’s the word ‘self’. It’s not me, it’s not dad-motivated, YOU-motivated.”
    Pete Miller, 05:12–06:14

• On Early Specialization

  • “I’d argue I’d be in any debate … that specialization at an early age is the best way. No athletic development, okay? Competitive stamina … you learn all that from different sports.”
    Basketball Coach, 09:52–12:02

• On Fun & Gamification

  • “Make it fun and make it competitive and you don’t have to be thinking about it.”
    Baseball Coach, 08:27

• On Inclusion & Opportunity

  • “I don’t want to say make room for women as coaches, because you don’t need to make room, you just need to ensure there’s opportunities available to everyone.”
    Flag Football Advocate, 30:29–31:40

• On Team Culture

  • “When things don’t go your way, we’re going to do the hard well. You might not like it, but we’re going to do it well.”
    Volleyball Coach, 24:58–28:04

• On Parental Regrets

  • “My only regrets are the times I didn’t take my advice in that book … when I was really disappointed … and wanted to talk about the game and fix all the things…”
    Alec, 34:32

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Segment Timestamps

• Opening & Episode Purpose: 00:00–00:38
• Virtues and Failure in Sports: 01:09–04:28
• Parent/Coach Impact on Motivation: 04:51–06:14
• Gamifying Practice, Making Fun Competitive: 06:45–09:43
• Multi-Sport Advocacy & Specialization Myths: 09:52–14:15
• Building ‘We’ Culture on Teams: 14:18–19:10
• Joy, Passion, and Social Support in Sports: 19:33–24:40
• Culture Creation and Playing Roles: 24:58–30:23
• Female Leadership & Representation in Flag Football: 30:29–33:29
• Parenting Regrets & Limits of Systemic Change: 34:32–36:56
• Coaching Mistakes & Solutions: 37:14–40:07
• Recovery, Time Management, & Mental Health: 40:07–end

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Conclusion

This “Best of 2025” episode of Youth Inc. delivers a wealth of perspectives for anyone involved in youth sports. The consistent message: Focus on the big picture—character, joy, inclusion, and growth over short-term wins or early specialization. Whether you’re a parent, coach, or athlete, these lessons and candid reflections are a must-hear blueprint for how to do youth sports right in 2026 and beyond.

Transcript

[Greg Olson]

What's up, everybody?

[Youth Inc. Host]

Welcome back to another episode of you think.

[Greg Olson]

Today. We have a really special episode because.

[Alec]

Today we have a best of you think. All of our brand ambassadors across the platform.

[Greg Olson]

We're so grateful to have all of.

[Alec]

You guys a part of the you think team.

[Greg Olson]

We had such a great 2025, but.

[Alec]

Wait till you see what we have in 2026. So much content, so many informative and entertaining pieces of content coming your way at you think. So I hope you guys enjoy this.

[Greg Olson]

Best of series and we look forward.

[Youth Inc. Host]

To a great 2026.

[Greg Olson]

Youth sports in America are at a crossroads and I'm here to help lead the conversation forward. I'm Greg Olson.

[Youth Inc. Host]

Each week we're sitting down with top.

[Greg Olson]

Athletes, coaches and more to talk about what's working, what's broken and what's next. Welcome to Youth Inc. All right, we.

[Alec]

Are here today, Youth Inc. With one.

[Greg Olson]

Of my great mentors, one of the.

[Alec]

Bridges of my life, Pete Miller, working over at the University of Wisconsin. We're at Bascom Hill right now. We're right outside Bascom Hill doing our thing.

[Pete Miller]

Beautiful day.

[Greg Olson]

Beautiful fall day.

[Alec]

Pete, do you want to introduce yourself to the Youth Inc. Community and what the work you do and what we'll be talking about today with leadership?

[Pete Miller]

Sure.

[Greg Olson]

Alec, thanks.

[Pete Miller]

Great to do this together. I'm a professor at the University of Wisconsin in Madison. We study a lot of things there, but much of it's tied to athletics and to not just how we win and how we can be better competitors, but how we grow as people. A big part of that is our focus on youth and how youth develop in that. So we, we have a research lab and we study youth sports and we study how we can develop as leaders and as good people through sports.

[Alec]

I love it. It's that cruxus of like the research and then athletic based implementation. Pete and I are working currently with a group of NFL athletes developing our leadership skills. It's been fun to work together and learn quite a bit of the scholarly information so that it's not just experiential learning what I'm learning in the locker room every day. It's really articulating some of those missions as we're diving into youth athletes and leadership development at that age, where do you feel like some of the key qualities young athletes can really start their leadership journey with?

[Pete Miller]

We get so tied, Alec, into the physical part of it and like obviously winning and being really good, which is it's important to try to develop physically, but these other attributes, these like virtues of sport, I'd say is where our focus as parents and as leaders. I should have said at the beginning that I'm a parent of a bunch of young athletes as well. So that's probably informed me more than any study. So I guess I would start Alec by saying sports. One coach told me one time, sports are a low risk place to practice virtue. What I mean by that is it's a space where I can go out with other young people and if I fail, and I will fail, I'm going to be okay. You know, I'm not going out into the business world and going to go bankrupt through it. I'm a young kid trying soccer, I'm a young kid trying hockey or basketball. And if I fail, I'm going to be okay. And in fact it's good for me to fail. So I think one thing we can think about as parents is like, let's give our kids a space to fail. It sounds so crazy, but I think a lot of us, if we don't do sports, we can get to later phases of our lives and we're going to have resistance, we're going to have hard things. And I think one of the great values and benefits of sports is they allow us to have a tough loss, they allow us to work with a difficult person, they allow us to kind of feel bad about it and work through it with someone else. So I would say that's where I would start. I would say I'd be careful how I frame that with my kid. I want you to go fail. I don't want to say that, but I would say that I want to keep the big picture. It's so hard because you want your son or daughter to do well. But hey, a little failure is good for all of us.

[Alec]

I think about all the life lessons that I've truly internalized as the life lessons because I lost or I failed and then you truly have that change, you have that catalyst and then you're able to internalize it and move forward with it. So much more powerful than okay, we just win every time. And I'm not really learning anything along the way, right.

[Pete Miller]

Like it's how we learn resilience, it's how we learn patience and fortitude and courage and all of these things that we know are good.

[Alec]

So all these virtues, something. One of the virtues might be self motivation, a self starter. I, I feel like as a parent or a coach you would want on a football field. 11 self motivated human beings that are just go getters. They're the Catalysts of the team. Obviously that's not reality. But as a parent or coach, how might you be able to instill one of those virtues of being self motivated?

[Pete Miller]

We know this actually from some research. Alec is that one of the biggest squashers of self motivation, our coaches and parents, which is kind of depressing however, but we can, we can flip that and look at it in a good way. And a lot of that is because we want it really bad as a parent, our emotions are tied up in our youngster or as a coach. And so much of our own experience can be a weight upon the kids. So I would say the first piece of advice would see in some ways, try to let go of our own experiences. We can draw from our own experiences as parents and coaches, but allow your child to find his or her passion. Guide them along the way, give them support and insights. But try to let go of our preordained thoughts about what they should be or how good they should be or what it should look like for them. And that's very difficult as a coach. But I would say one of the first things is to know that our guide on the side type of mentality is a very powerful one for a young youngster, especially in adolescence when the over demanding parent isn't always the thing that keeps us going. Now gotta stay accountable, gotta hold them within the rails, have discipline, all of those things. But do it with, with an awareness that the best thing for our kids to say self motivated is the word self. It's not me, it's not dad. Motivated. You motivated.

[Alec]

Right. Comes to say batting practice. I heard you mention a time where you had batting practice. Think you know Ozuna and Acuna. You were with the Braves at the time and you talked about kind of gamifying batting practice and had this, this game called Powerball or something to that effect. Walk me through a little bit like walk me through what got you to that point to try out this new way of gamifying batting practice with, with big leaguers. What, what made you want to do that?

[Baseball Coach]

So it all started in. Actually the first time I saw that was when I was coaching a ball with Cleveland. I was in minor leagues coaching with them. And then I got, I got over to the Braves and so I'm in Triple A with the Braves and we had a great year. We broke the home run record by, you know, we shattered it in AAA there. But it, the one thing that I remember we went through a period where guys were kind of, can tell they were overthinking. We're analyzing, you know, a little bit of a slump, hit a wall and things weren't flowing the way they were. I go, man, what can I do to. To just kind of make things fun and just where they. They're not thinking so much. So I said, you know what? I'm gonna play a game called Parable. I had played in with Rookie with. With the A ball guys.

[Tennis Player/Coach]

And.

[Baseball Coach]

And that's where it started. So I kind of just, hey, man, we're gonna pick teams, you know, play for fun, and, you know, losing team is going to serve the. The.

[Tennis Player/Coach]

The.

[Baseball Coach]

The winning team. And. And so, okay, now all of a sudden I. It's like doubles and home runs. You know, their singles didn't count and like, you know, go ahead and, you know, let it fly. And. And oh, my gosh, it was like the swings. I saw swings improving. Like, holy smokes, look how better the bat path is now. Look at how he's staying through the ball, which you never figure if you're trying to hit home runs and doubles, that your. Your swing would improve. It was just that they were freed up because they're now letting it go instead of trying to, like, guide. Guide the bat. And I, I think I'm. Again, don't quote me at this. I think we end up hitting like, maybe five or six or even seven homers that game. And so the next day, the guys wanted to play it again. Point of the story is that it was just to get their minds off of actual internally focused and like, get it out there. Let's external focus it to where now they're freed up. And sometimes you got to do that. Make. Make it fun and make it competitive and you don't have to be thinking about it.

[Alec]

What are some ways that coaches can create an environment like that for their players where they can be free to compete and have fun in that way? If I'm a coach, what's a way I create that environment and make it competitive?

[Baseball Coach]

You know, make. Make it a game. Oh, hey, today we're going to play this. You know, let's see how many. You know, whoever gets the most line drives up the middle, you know, gets points and, you know, get play for some offside. Oh, now they're competing and they're. And they start having fun. Like, oh, yeah, they start ragging each other too. You know, now they're having fun. And, and. And again, it's funny you said, because I did coach helped out. I volunteer for Little League. When my son was playing, they were like, I think they're seven years old and I would do that with them. I kind of like, you know, make things fun. Make things okay, we're gonna have fun here. Like, oh, this is pretty cool. You know, and they have a smile on their face before, you know, they're getting better and proven without them even thinking about they're just having fun doing it.

[Alec]

Yes, I love it. And that works. I've seen it work, especially for younger kids. And it's funny, you get Even now I'm 26 years old and still playing ball. And even, even the times where we have competition with, you know, grown men, it still kind of brings out that, that kid in you.

[Greg Olson]

Tom, what do you feel about early specialization? Do you feel like kids should be playing multiple sports? And if so, up until what age.

[Basketball Coach]

I, I played all the way through high school and, and there's no question, I mean, Tom Izzo built Michigan State on two sport athletes. There's no question about. Antonio Smith could have played in the NFL. You know, he had two brothers that did. Mateen Cleaves was an all American football player who made football visits to Florida State with Bobby Bowden into Louisville. Okay. Andre Hudson threw for 1700 yards as a sophomore, 700 yards as a junior and then played basketball as a senior. He was a four year starter. For Tom Izzo, I had Wes Matthews, who was an all city tennis player, right when he played for us at Marquette. We go right on down the line. Any, I'd argue I'd be in any debate with anybody telling me that specialization at an early age is the best way. No athletic development, okay? Competitive stamina, okay? Competitive stamina. Stuff like how do they learn to compete more and more and longer. And it's not just in basketball, right. The average basketball time in between whistles is 6.2 possessions. Okay? And football, you're going to play hard for what, four, five, six, seven, eight seconds. Then you're going to have 30 seconds. Off we go right on down the line, right? What you have to be able to do is not only have the competitive stamina to play that possession, okay? To play to that whistle blows. You've got to be mentally able to fix yourself real time before the next one. See, and that to me, you learn all that from different sports. You learn all that and there's been this society created, whether it's making money from the training, whether it's the summer teams, whatever it is that trick parents into believing that playing that one sport is going to be. Now there's outliers everywhere. I mean I'm sure. But tell me how good you think LeBron James would have been playing football or baseball. How about we put him on a soccer field, right? You know what I mean? I mean, I don't know if a lot of things would have been different. You know, Tom Izzo had Gary Harris at Michigan State. Gary Harris was being recruited by the Big Ten as a junior for football. Right. He's still in the NBA. We could go right on down the line.

[Alec]

And is it amazing because like, and I'm again, I'm a sports parent.

[Greg Olson]

High school athletes, they have my DNA.

[Alec]

So we knew there was a ceiling there.

[Greg Olson]

But, but I talk to so many.

[Volleyball Coach]

Coaches and I have this conversation with.

[Alec]

Like real coaches, like college coaches, NBA.

[Greg Olson]

Coaches, professional coaches, hall of fame coaches, they all give your answer about the multi sport.

[Alec]

Yet everything that you hear as a.

[Greg Olson]

Parent from the youth sports industry is specialized, specialized, specialized.

[Basketball Coach]

It's an unbelievable disconnect. It's an agenda. It's an agenda, right? I mean, it's agenda. I mean, you're good with criticism. Okay, as long as you know where it's coming from. Right? Well, what's the agenda? What's the, what's the backstory? Right? Like you have to look at everything that you're like, where's this coming from? There was the statistic a couple drafts ago. 78% of the NFL draft picks were multiple sport athletes in high school. Okay, that's wrestling, that's track and field, that's basketball, that's baseball. That's the NFL draft, right? I mean, when you're competing, some of my best basketball players that, that made our practices better even at Indiana were kids that came from the football team or the baseball team. And like, if you had a football tight end, you had a quickness guy, you had a, you had a multiple effort guy, almost like anything else you had in basketball. Because football couldn't make it without being multiple effort guys. They couldn't make it without point A to point B in a quick period of time. Right? And it's like I would think of those things, like, why wouldn't more kids do this? Because it's the unseen advantages that you're getting. It's the uncalculated. It's not the statistic that you can see and it certainly doesn't play into the immediate result that you can see. It plays into the big picture, the long term picture of the athletic training, the competitive stamina, the endurance, the coachability, the dealing with adversity, the dealing with sacrifice, the being a teammate all those things that eventually are either going to give you an edge or they're not. In a world club lacrosse where it's a culture of me, we want our.

[Greg Olson]

Club to be a culture of we.

[Basketball Coach]

What do you.

[Alec]

Would you be willing to share with us some of the things that you.

[Basketball Coach]

You either do at Maryland or things you would recommend a club to do.

[Pete Miller]

So that they're more.

[Basketball Coach]

It's more of a culture of we.

[Alec]

Than me within their club?

[Greg Olson]

Yeah, I think the, you know, the. When you bring a group together and, you know, part of what they're trying to do with club, you know, that deep down inside, for a lot of those players, they see the college game and they see some opportunities not only to play on the big stage, but also get a great education. You know, there's very much the I need to be seen. So that kind of right there. If they're worried about where they're going and what they're getting, that does counter most teams culture of we over me. So realizing that when eventually they get put in front of college coaches, most of the cultures in college are going to be we over me. We're trying to take very talented players, bring them together and maximize the potential of those players. How do we do that? A lot of players need to play roles. It may not be the most significant or glamorous role, but the ability to take on roles that are really important, as important as any.

[Basketball Coach]

It.

[Greg Olson]

Those are players you need to have. You need to find those guys that, you know, take their, you know, desires and, hey, this is what I want. And put. And put that aside for, hey, I'll do what's best for the team, you know, that needs. That mindset needs to start, in my opinion, much before they get to you. So I think realizing that the college coaches aren't looking for just the flashiest players or the guys that score the most, they realize they're bringing 10 to 12 guys in and we're trying to work towards a common goal. So let's go find players that are unselfish, guys that are willing to switch positions, players that are going to play really hard. They do communicate well. You know, they're going to do what's best for the team. Because at the end of the day, not only do college coaches watch these teams play, they do their homework. They talk to the club coaches. And what type of guy is he? They'll talk to the high school coach, hey, what type of student is he? What's he like as a leader? What's he like at the High school, they'll contact people in their community and try to get more just information. Because you're bringing in players from high school into your college community and you want good people. It's not just being a good player, it's being a good teammate. It's being selfless, it's being competitive, it's putting the goals of the team above yours. Well, we can actually talk to people that work with those players and have, and get a sense of, hey, how have you been? Because I think it's really hard to be a me guy and then all of a sudden get to college and now you're doing a 180. So you know, I understand the desire to be seen and to stick out, but sometimes being consistent, being steady, being someone that makes really good decisions. A smart player, you know, a guy that man, he just seems to have a high iq. He's really smart, he's versatile. You know, things like that become very, very important for college coaches because if you just bring in one dimensional me guys, I don't think you're going very far. So you're looking for those intangible qualities. And I know, you know, obviously, you know, you've been around the game a long time, you know what's important so what you're teaching them will transfer. But again you, you get those guys on the sideline that maybe those two or three that are like, no, you need to do this, you need to do that. There's this little battle going on between, you know, what, what the coaches really want and people like you who know what they want, yet there's other people kind of countering that narrative. So there is some confusion that leads to a lot more anxiety. And so there's a little bit of like a pull between, you know, what the coaches are telling the players and sometimes what the parents are.

[Flag Football Advocate]

So I just want to talk about like passion of the sport. How do you feel about, you know, there's some players we've, there's one pretty famous player that wrote a book about not loving the sport or hating the sport, but still exceedingly. But just maybe speak on like the love of the game and how important that is. Especially you know, in a junior player.

[Tennis Player/Coach]

I would say that there are different ways, as you said, like somebody can hate it and still be a good player. And I'm not going to judge them, but for sure, as somebody who is around them, I prefer to work with somebody who is actually enjoying it. And I know every sport and have some difficulties and it's not easy. Life and it's lonely life. Even if you are in a team, it's easier because you can share it. But for sure it's not something people would understand because from the outside world it looks like, oh, you're just playing dumb racket and balls and you're complaining about your life and you're traveling around the world. Yeah, of course it's. It's probably enjoying enjoyable, but in a way, like it's tough. So just for me, if you enjoy the sport by itself or it doesn't have to be sport, but enjoying spending time working on yourself, spending time with people you hire, spending time, you know, like traveling. I'm not saying that's me, I hate traveling. But like, I enjoy my time on site. I enjoy talking with other coaches, I enjoy talking with my player. I enjoy the time, I enjoy going to a dinner. And like, for me that's really important. And if I could, if I could pick, if that's for me as a choice, who do I work with? Of course I gonna choose somebody who is enjoying it. And like I said, you can enjoy different things. It doesn't have to be tennis per se, because I know for some time it might be not enjoyable for you at all in your career. But on the other hand, like, you have to enjoy something. You cannot be miserable whole life and expect people around you to be happy.

[Flag Football Advocate]

You enjoy hitting a clean forehand, Peter, for sure.

[Tennis Player/Coach]

Right now I enjoy hitting a clean backhand over my shanky forehand. But yeah.

[Flag Football Advocate]

But I think it's so important to have the right people around you, not just to help with all of the time that you have off court. Like, once you become a professional player, the time you spend on court is actually quite small. You have a lot of, like you said, travel time and, you know, time in hotels and at dinners. And so the people around you is massive. And I think that starts from a young age as well. Just having the right coaches, people speaking into you, mentors, people you can look up to, ask questions and learn from. Is there someone or I guess throughout your career, have you had a lot of mentors and you know, people that, that you can. Or do you seek those out or how. What does that look like?

[Tennis Player/Coach]

I wouldn't say I had a mentors, but I had a lot of, or have a lot of friends. I wouldn't call them my best friends who I'm talking every day. But like when I'm going on tour, I don't feel, you know, like outside. I feel like that's where I belong. And I know people and I enjoy that and I enjoy talking with them. And I feel like you can learn more from when you actually talk in between the practice sessions, when you talk in the evening, drinking a beer. Oh, sorry. Like, probably drinking some soda. But like, yeah, that's, that's the way it works. And for me, it's never about one single person because I don't feel that there is somebody who knows it all and you have to learn from all people and try to improve. And there are people who will happily share with you what you can do better, but there are people who want, and not everybody can be your friend. So like just accept it and just be, be present and look for that. Like, you know, you can discuss a lot of things on Thor. There is plenty of time for that. So just keep, keep, keep that going. It's like you, like you said. And I feel like even players, like parents right now, think about if your kids have friends in the sport. And I mean it in a way, like, of course you are competitors on the court, but if they have friends from the sports they like, because in the future they will travel with that people, if they are good enough, they will travel together, they will spend time together, they will see each other face every day. And that's tough if you hate everybody around you. That's really tough. Even if you love tennis, you're not going to feel good about it if you go to the tournament, you know. So for me, like, try to work on the relationship of your athlete, of your kids. Just try to connect them with somebody, try to put them in contact with other players, maybe organize some meeting, maybe go for barbecue.

[Basketball Coach]

I don't know.

[Tennis Player/Coach]

Like, there is plenty of ways. Just find a way to keep it entertaining for your kid, for your player to build. Like we went to Sotogrande to practice, to build the community around sports, which you like, which makes you even more happy about it.

[Flag Football Advocate]

Yeah, that was something that you did really well, was just implement variety so you don't get kind of burned out or bored or you can keep your spirits up a little bit. How do you continue to create a good, consistent culture? Because that's not just something that happens.

[Volleyball Coach]

Well, I think, you know, one thing that we talk to the team about is culture can change in a heartbeat. So we can never take for granted if our culture is good. And when we see anything that might be an underbelly of hurting that culture, we have to again deal with it right away. And dealing with it doesn't have to be harsh. It can just be you know, pivoting, getting us. If someone's. Someone's complaining in the locker room, it takes some guts to say, hey, you need to go talk to coach. Right? Like it's not doing any good, you know, so you know how we do it. Caitlin, I think there's. First of all, it's passed down. We get to recruit our athletes, so we're really diligent of recruiting great women, but we'll take risks on kids sometimes that we feel like in the right culture, they'll understand who we are as a program. I can tell you, last spring, so, like last spring, one of our potential. What we see as potential issues that could come up, we kind of always talk about that. Exposures for the program was 19 players, right? Too many players. Covid caused some of that, some things. So we were bigger than we wanted to be. So we talked a lot about how people were going to feel like if I got to clear the bench, I wasn't going to be able to put everybody in. We just had too many people. Players in the past, when I was able to clear the bench, I could get everyone in. How is that going to feel? How am I going to handle it? Practice time, Some things are going to be limited. So I guess one of the things that we really did was we tried to talk about all the, you know, you can't hit all pitfalls, but we tried to talk about all those things prior and what's the appropriate response? When I was a younger coach, again, I thought everyone should buy into their role. I'm on the bench. I should love it. That got reframed for me about 10 to 15 years ago. Of they don't have to love that they're a bent, that they're not a starter, but they do need. They do have some expectations of what they'll be as a teammate. They're still going to work hard in practice, they're still going to cheer their teammates on. They're still going to be great in the locker room, and they're going to do the hard. Well, that's something I talk to my kids a lot about is, you know, when. When things don't go your way, we're going to do the hard. Well, you might not like it, but we're going to do it well. So we just try to talk about those and then we empathize with that. A lot of, you know, only about eight people out of this team are going to get significant playing time and maybe nine, and that's going to be hard. And we understand that. It's hard. And we're super proud of you for being a great teammate. So again, it's just diligence with trying to talk about those things and then when there's problems being willing to have the conversations. And I will tell you, when I've had to have those conversations, almost every time the kid figures it out. Right. But in very few instances in my time here, I've had to say, you know, you're either in or out. Like, and, you know, in one case it was out. Right. So every once in a while if the, if they can't get on board. But usually kids want to get along and they want to do the right thing.

[Flag Football Advocate]

Yeah. And I think that's an issue that every team faces at every single level is only a few kids are going to see significant playing time. And how do you handle the kid that is pushing it a little bit, pushing the boundaries and maybe not embracing their role and having a really hard time? I mean, in that conversation, are you approaching it with empathy? And then where, what are kind of some of the words that you would use to provide that constructive, hey, here's what we're seeing, but here's where we need you to be.

[Volleyball Coach]

Yeah, I definitely start with empathy for sure of like, how are you feeling? You know, and then, you know, if I need to give numbers, you know, we have a tech coordinator. So if sometimes it's explaining the why, this is the decision of the why. Sometimes it's just they have someone great in front of them and we're playing well. I mean, I've had that instance where that kid on the bench, their numbers are really good, but then the other kids, they're just really good and I have to make a decision because I can't go in and out. And so, you know, sometimes I'll say things like, if you're in my shoes, how would you handle it? And usually at that point they'll say, yeah, I don't know what I'd do either, you know, so that you kind of flip it to like, okay, now you're the head coach, what would you do? And then if it gets to a point that they're just wearing things down, you know, then it'll be like, hey, you know, this is what I'm seeing. I need to see, I need to see eye contact. I mean, some specific things of what they're doing, or I need to make sure that you're high fiving everyone on your team, whatever action you're seeing. So I try to give specific things of what they need to do. And then when they do it, they're going to get a text from me, they're going to get something to make sure to reinforce. I thought you had a great practice today. I can see that you're working on things. I know this is hard for you, but I'm super proud of you. And then if they can't do it, I have a couple times. You either need to make these changes or it's not going to work here. Because this is who Creighton volleyball is. And if. If you can't buy into who we are, it doesn't mean you're a bad human, but this might not be the place for you. And again, that's been really, really rare.

[Flag Football Advocate]

Really.

[Volleyball Coach]

Why does flag football need more female coaches and role models?

[Flag Football Advocate]

Yeah, it's so funny you asked me about that because one of the things that I'm really worried about in flag football, all the positive stuff, the growth, growth, the, you know, the crossover from sport to sport. When sports explode like this, in particular contact sports, we start to see less and less women at the top. And I really don't want to see that happen. I want to make sure that women and girls know as flag football grows, that there is a place for them in all spaces on the sideline as coaches, as officials, as ats. And so I think early on, while the sport is exploding, it's important that we not, I don't want to say make room for women as coaches, because you don't need to make room, you just don't need. You just need to ensure that there's opportunities available to everyone. But I think it's the most important thing because as the game goes, we've learned in sports, both in youth as well as professional sports, that if you aren't intentional about ensuring that women have opportunities, they won't.

[Volleyball Coach]

No. And you're spot on. I mean, you're somebody who has been through the Bill Walsh Diversity Fellowship, coach running backs of the Falcons. I mean, you talked a lot there about what it means. But why do you think that's important? Why do you think representation matters when it comes to. To flag football coaching?

[Flag Football Advocate]

You know, I think as a. As someone who football saved my life and changed my. Sports saved and changed my life. I think representation is important because I think that what sports can do for kids goes far beyond the field or the pitch and what flag football can do for girls, to help keep her body confident, to help keep her growing and staying in school, to help keep her interested in things that she might not think are capable. You are more likely to get a confident young woman if she sees other confident and is coached by confident women. So I think representation matters. You could talk about the football itself, but I'd rather talk about, about what sports does for girls and boys. And if we want to see flag football do for girls what football has done for boys, then I think you have to show her what the future looks like. And you do that through coaching.

[Volleyball Coach]

You are so spot on. I know even from my personal experience and you've probably been the same way. Just the way that football empowers women and gives so much confidence. And I think that's why, you know, you look at the WNFC and how huge it's grown because of the way that you are empowering not just the players, but you're empowering the coaches. And that element of if you can see her, you can be her truly comes to life in these realms.

[Flag Football Advocate]

Yeah, you know, fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of trying is what stops a lot of us from chasing our dreams. It's the same for our children. It's the same for growing girls. If she is afraid that she's going to be judged or she's going to fail right away, she won't try. And you are more likely to try when someone who you want to be or that looks like you or that has shared your life experience is around and has had success. Most of us are afraid to try because we haven't seen people have success. We don't want to take that risk and we forget that our kids are the success same. They don't want to take risks if they don't know success is possible. And I think when you put women and girls in front of other women and girls, you show her that success is possible. Now I do want to throw you a curveball. Do you have any regrets or changes you would make as a sports parent that you would kind of warn now sports parents about to really young kids?

[Alec]

That's a great question. I think that, you know, my kids were 5 and 6 when I wrote my first book Changing the Game and kind of gave people ideas of this is what you can do on this journey. And I think that looking back on it now, but my only regrets are the times I didn't take my advice in that book. Right when I, when I was really disappointed did especially in like my, my son who was very quiet in the car and I wanted to talk about the game and, and, and fix all the things he, he did wrong and things like that. Those are, those are my, my biggest regrets. But I think what I was good at in the time was also recognizing what I had done and apologizing about it and, and things like that. So I, I think I'm really happy that the stuff that I wrote about 10 plus years ago has kind of stood the test of time in terms of what kids really want and need from their parents on this journey. But you know, I think if people ask me, like, how have I changed with changing the game project? I really believed, I think back in 2012 that we could have systemic change in sports for, you know, what I was doing and what you're doing in positive coaching alliance. And I'm not sure that I believe that anymore because I think the business of sport is so huge now, you know, bigger than the NFL in terms of dollars. And the business of sport doesn't really, doesn't really suit the needs of children in sport. And that to me is sad. But what I do believe is that families can do it the right way. I think individual coaches and teams can do it the right way. And I think in some towns and clubs and schools, they can really do it the right way and make sport this co curricular thing that reinforces what really matters. But systemically, man, I think that ship has sailed, sadly. And it's always going to be difficult and therefore it's always going to be up to parents to be the ones to manage their child's sporting journey and make sure that it happens in an overall positive way.

[Flag Football Advocate]

And I think parents can really figure out, okay, what coach is best for my kid and how they respond to them. So maybe we can talk about the coaches a little bit and the role they play. What are some mistakes youth coaches are making nowadays and how can we solve that?

[Alec]

I think the biggest mistakes that I see youth coaches making and a lot of times it's not their fault, it's just that we don't train them right. We have all these requirements now, hours of safe sport training and concussion and first aid, which is all great, but a lot of times like a volunteer youth coach gets four hours of training and we haven't even talked about football or soccer, basketball, and what does a great practice environment look like and what are the needs and values and priorities of that 8 year old in front of you or that 6 year old in front of you, or that 10 year old in front of you. And so they default to, well, what was it like when I was 17 years old? It's football, let's go run laps, let's stand in line. But there's no kid who says, God, I hope we stand in line at practice today. You know, so, so, so I think that's the biggest advice for coaches is create an environment, create a practice that you'd like to be a part of, right? Number two, I think when, you know, the research, this woman, Amanda Visick out of George Washington sort of has, you know, three buckets that drives enjoyment for kids in sports. And enjoyment is the number one, that number one reason that the they play and those buckets are, you know, sort of a challenging environment, right? So be organized and challenging and they want to learn. Number two, positive coaching. And number three, positive team dynamics. And those three things are what is what's going to make those kids come back next year. And guess what, coach? You control all of those three things. So pay attention to team dynamics and how people treat each other, right? And make that an intentional part of your practice. Right? Pay attention to how you interact with kids, to how you talk to kids, to how you give them that. That one word of encouragement. We call this, like the rule of one, right? One. One person, one comment, one time can sustain them for the next month, can sustain them for their entire life if you do it right. Right? So as that coach, recognize who's in front of me. What do they need? And that I am in charge of creating the environment that's going to get them to come back. And no one goes, oh, remember that game on May 2nd when we were eight? What was the score? No one cares about that. It's easy to say, like, oh, it's hard being a student athlete. It's hard doing this, this and this. And there's quantifiable kind of energy tanks, physical energy. There's like, I call it maybe like studious or like, yes, productive energy where you're trying to learn, you're trying to figure something out, you're trying to move on to the next class or pass or ace the test or whatever it is. And then there's emotional social energy. But all of it needs a time to recover. All of it.

[Youth Inc. Host]

All of it needs a reset. I call it filling your tank.

[Alec]

Like those tanks run down. You have to have something that can fill your tank. So, like, for me in college, it was playing guitar and, and talking to my now wife on the phone and playing Halo. Like, that was that filled. That filled the tank. How did, what, how did your idea of recovery change over time?

[Youth Inc. Host]

And like, what were some of the.

[Alec]

Things you did in college versus when you were a professional? That was kind of like both literal recovery and like, okay, this is. I'm getting refreshed here.

[Youth Inc. Host]

I'm filling my tank, and I'm ready to go back at it. Well, before I answer that, let me go back to that previous question, because I realized I didn't really answer it with specifics, because I think that the time management thing is important and building in recovery into that time management is also important. But I think what I did as a freshman, I was not very good at managing my time. I would work super hard in practice. I'd have a bunch of homework at night. I probably didn't focus as much as I should on that. I'd spend time socializing with friends because as a young person who's just physical and trying to figure things out and trying to make friends, especially if you go somewhere new, I spent a lot more time on that, which I think is a very human thing to do, that social connection and trying to figure out where you fit. And so I would sleep in and I'd miss class, and I'd be like, dang, I'm failing myself, you know, and my responsibility. And I try to get better. And so just, like, think about how you approach things as an athlete. You go to the shot put or you go to the basketball court or whatever, and you're shooting and you're trying to get better, but you don't make everything, but you do try to get better. And so that's kind of how I approached academics. And ultimately, it was clear, like, hey, there's class time, there's practice time, there's work time, and then there's social time. And it may look different on different days where those things hit, but you need to block out something for each one of those. And sometimes I would put more energy and focus into the track and field thing. Sometimes I put more energy and focus in the school thing and adjust and be dynamic. But understanding what those priorities are for me and for whoever's kind of going in that situation was important. And I was very similar to you from a recovery time standpoint. The way I recovered was I grew up an only child. I didn't have siblings around, and I grew up in a very small town where we had access to the outdoors all the time. And so I liked being by myself when things were loud and coaches were talking to you and academics were kind of taking over and your friends were like, hey, you want to go do this? Sometimes I was just, I need to be by myself. And that's where instead of things coming in I just needed things to not be coming in all the time and that's how I recovered. And then spending time with others, you know, playing video games, just something that was competitive, active, but also passive and just kind of building relationships, you know. It wasn't so much video games for video games sake. It was chatting with my roommate while we're doing something. And that was super helpful, super helpful for me. And I just kind of built those in. At the end of the day, um, at that time of my life, that's when it worked. As I got older and got more into a professional track and field situation, things were much more intentional. And our approach was, I think as a young athlete in college, it was like just rest when you can because you have basically way more on your plate than you could manage effectively anyway. But as a professional track and field athlete, it was intentional and focused. And we said rest. Rest is also training. It's not just this other thing that we do, it's part of training. It's something that we're going to do with intention. And so even from the physical side, that looked like we're gonna have two hard weeks and one rest week. The rest week, we're still going to do stuff, but the expectation is going to be basically zero. We don't expect you to throw far. It's just going to be drills. It's going to be going out and getting a feel. The times aren't going to matter. It's just do something so that helps in kind of building in this period and this period. And then we would build in rest, you know, during a weekly cycles would take a certain day off and we'd also be intentional, like how does your body actually feel today? Remember, rest is, can be a step forward, it's not necessarily a step back coach, it's just not in the cards. For some reason, this warm up lap like completely taxed me. Yeah, let's make an adjust, let's make an adjustment.