Podcast
Zach Watson's Thinkshare Podcast
Hosted by Zach Watson · EN
I make a bunch of short form educational/personal life story-telling, and my friend told me after listening to me on someone else's podcast that some of my longer form ideas would be really valuable for people to hear in this form, so I'm trusting Frank knows...
17episodes
Episodes
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#115: Why Your Focus on Doing More Is Keeping You Stuck in the Do Better Loop
3w ago00:46:47Tap to summarizeTitle: Creating Systems for Emotional Well-being and Unicorn Space in Your HomeIn this episode, Zach reflects on the importance of building systematic approaches to manage mental load, emotional labor, and personal passions within a family setting. He shares personal insights on how developing these systems has transformed his relationship and home life, especially in the context of upcoming big life changes like adding twins.Key topics:Recognizing when mental load begins to feel shared and less oppressiveThe concept of Unicorn Space—pursuing passions that make you feel alive—and how to protect and prioritize itHow systemizing chores and responsibilities leads to more emotional space and less resentmentApplying system thinking from business to domestic life—working on the home rather than just in itPractical methods for emotional regulation, such as cadence in conversations and validation practicesThe importance of systemic planning for long-term relationship and family healthUsing analogy of budgeting to organize chores, responsibilities, and personal timeThe role of equity versus equality in sharing responsibilities and passionsPrioritizing self-expression and passions as a form of Unicorn SpaceStrategies for encouraging and trusting your partner to take time for their passionsThe metaphor of “doing the do better loop” to improve family systems over timeBook: Finding Your Unicorn Space by Eve RodskyConnection Codes for Emotional CommunicationFair Play MethodInstagram[Email](mailto: Zach@zachmentalloadcoach.com)Timestamps:00:00 - Introduction to the episode's focus on systems and emotional management02:00 - Recognizing the shift when the do better loop becomes positive and less oppressive04:00 - Emily Rodsky’s Unicorn Space concept explained07:00 - Early signs of shared responsibility leading to more emotional space15:00 - Systemizing domestic chores like budgeting money23:00 - The importance of validating emotions over just solving logistical problems28:00 - Implementing conversational cadences for emotional regulation36:00 - The significance of honest expression and systemizing emotional conversations43:00 - Loving seeing your partner find and express their full personhood50:00 - The distinction between working in the home and working on it52:00 - Encouraging partners to take meaningful time for their passions54:00 - Closing thoughts and personal reflectionsResources & Links:Connect with Zach:Final notes:This episode emphasizes the importance of systemizing the invisible labor in our relationships through communication cadences, emotional validation, and intentional pursuit of passions. Zach advocates for a ‘business first’ mindset—working on your home and relationship systems as you would on a business—to foster harmony, growth, and individual fulfillment.
Transcribe →#114: Navigating Invisible Labor and Emotional Fluency in Parenthood
4w ago00:30:58Tap to summarizeDiscover practical insights from Zach Watson on managing invisible labor, enhancing emotional literacy, and maintaining relationship health during significant life transitions like pregnancy and parenthood. Learn how intentional communication and systemized routines can transform chaos into connectedness.In this episode:Zach shares his personal experience with invisible labor and emotional fluencyThe importance of regular build meetings to coordinate routines and responsibilitiesStrategies to handle feeling overwhelmed during pregnancy and major life changesHow writing agendas helps keep relational and household systems on trackThe role of emotional sharing and empathy in strengthening partnershipsCommon pitfalls in managing mental load and how to avoid themReal-life stories of repair and resilience after stressful periodsThe significance of adjusting routines according to seasonal and life-stage changesDr. Glenn Hill's Framework on Emotions Timestamps:00:00 - Introduction: Understanding invisible labor and emotional fluency00:35 - Zach's personal journey with ideas and audio processing02:00 - Managing mental load during pregnancy and life transitions03:11 - The impact of build meetings on household coordination04:10 - How to use agendas to prioritize routines and conversations05:00 - Recognizing feelings of overwhelm and addressing emotional needs06:15 - Examples of sharing cognitive and emotional labor07:45 - When and how to pause and repair after conflicts09:00 - The importance of respecting seasonal changes in routines10:20 - Handling heightened emotions during chaos and stress11:40 - Sleep and emotional regulation strategies13:00 - The influence of career mindset on household labor14:45 - Addressing season change challenges and practical routines16:00 - The energy cost of inefficiency and communication gaps17:30 - Reframing perceptions of time and proactive planning19:00 - Stories of life changes and the importance of intentional systems20:50 - Building emotional dashboards for daily connection22:00 - Managing emotional spirals and sharing feelings openly23:40 - The response to loneliness and fostering attachment in family25:05 - Repair moments: validating emotions and sharing space26:50 - The power of non-judgmental language in emotional conversations28:00 - Reflecting on past hard times: pet loss and emotional growth30:00 - Sharing vulnerability during stressful moments without shame31:42 - The importance of awareness and intentionality in emotional labor34:00 - Success stories of couples improving through weekly emotional discussions35:40 - Recognizing when to adjust or revisit relationship strategies36:55 - Final thoughts: continuous reflection and sharing for growthResources & Links:Connect with Zach Watson:Thank you for listening and engaging with this conversation on deeper relational and life management skills. If you found this helpful, please consider leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to support the show and help foster richer discussions with guests.
Transcribe →#113: When we fall off the wagon, getting back on
Apr 2400:46:43Tap to summarizeIn this episode I am ideating outloud on some prompts I wanted to go through to write chapter 8 of my book how to get back on track when it feels like the wheels are coming off and we are going back to gendered inequity at home.
Transcribe →#112: Top Mental Load Research in the World, Leah Ruppanner PHD, talks nitty gritty of research in Mental Load
Apr 1601:09:27Tap to summarizeBuy her new Book: "Drained": https://www.leahruppanner.com/bookMental load is emotional thinking work, encompassing both cognitive and emotional labor.Understanding mental load requires a nuanced conversation about gender roles and responsibilities.Cognitive labor involves planning and organizing, while emotional labor relates to managing feelings and relationships.Relationship hygiene is crucial for maintaining connections and support within families and communities.Men and women often perceive and manage mental load differently, influenced by societal expectations.Language is essential for discussing mental load and fostering understanding between partners.Community support can alleviate the burdens of mental load, creating a more collaborative environment.Cultural norms often dictate how men and women experience and express their mental load.Structural changes in society are needed to support individuals in managing their mental load effectively.Empowering individuals to recognize and articulate their mental load can lead to healthier relationships and personal well-being.
Transcribe →#111: My troubles with Fair Play Method
Apr 1400:27:38Tap to summarizeOver teh last 3.5 years of trying to integrate the Fair Play Method, we have found a handful of challenges with it and in this episode I ideate out loud after a conversation with my wife about the challenges we have had implementing and the difference between folks that implement the systems vs talk through the emotions and prioritize connection.
Transcribe →#110: Struggling through consistency in Emotional Literacy Journey
Apr 1000:26:40Tap to summarizeIn this episode, Zach Watson shares insights on how men and women can better navigate emotional conversations, build emotional intelligence, and foster deeper connection. If you're looking to break through emotional barriers with your partner, this discussion offers practical strategies grounded in real experience.Key Topics:Timestamps:00:00 - Introduction: Why emotional conversations matter for relationship health00:31 - The main emotional roadblocks men encounter: shame, hurt, loneliness01:01 - Conditioning of men to suppress emotional pain and its effects01:59 - Positive effects seen when partners talk more openly about emotions02:29 - Challenges early on: managing emotions when sharing for the first time03:57 - Using incentives to practice emotional literacy with the
Transcribe →#109: What it looks like when men are doing that internal WORK
Mar 500:28:25Tap to summarizehttps://www.skool.com/mentalloadbasics/aboutKey TopicsThe moment Zach realized he needed to do the work in his relationshipThe impact of reading 'Fair Play' on Zach's perspectiveThe importance of vulnerability and honesty in relationship growthThe roadmap of phases in doing relationship workChallenges and wins in starting the workThe concept of asking permission to fail and systematizing accountabilityBuilding trust through consistent actions and routinesThe significance of labeling emotions and small behavioral changesThe role of community and vulnerability among menLong-term vision and values in relationship work
Transcribe →#108: Fair Play Coaching Session - Group
Feb 1801:06:09Tap to summarizeThis is a special episode, its a recording of the last session of a few folks that went through Fair Play 101 with me. We rescheduled it due to snow/sickness and had a low attendence for this last session but thought it made for a great vulnerable conversation to share with others.Thank you for the participants that gave consent to share the tough emotional work you are doing.
Transcribe →#107: Choreplay - Jordan Carlos DEFENDS his title as I attack it
Feb 600:59:38Tap to summarizeUnlocking Better Marriage and Men’s Self-Improvement with Jordan CarlosIn this episode, comedian and author Jordan Carlos shares unconventional insights on improving marriage through small but impactful actions, the importance of self-awareness in masculinity, and practical tips for men to step into their optimal roles at home and social settings. Whether you're a partner seeking to support your significant other or a man looking to elevate your own life, this conversation offers actionable wisdom wrapped in humor and honesty.The concept of "Chore Play" and how chores can foster intimacy without manipulationSmall habits to reduce friction and improve household contributionThe significance of mental and cognitive labor often unnoticed by menOvercoming the "recovering man child" mindset and embracing responsible masculinityPractical hacks for daily routines—like managing Tupperware and trash daysThe importance of enjoying your own company and cultivating "unicorn space"Navigating media, books, and role models that shape perceptions of masculinityHow men can self-regulate and avoid proxy arguments over minor issuesThe impact of emotional presence versus just "checking the box" in relationshipsRecognizing invisible labor and amplifying your contributions consciouslyFair Play by Eve RodskyChore PlayEsther PerelThe 5AM Club by Robin SharmaEnter to win a hardcover copy of Chore Play by clicking here. Giveaway ends in four days!Key TopicsTimestamps00:00 - Introduction to Jordan Carlos and the premise of "Chore Play"02:00 - My initial reaction to the book title and misunderstanding it as manipulative03:30 - How chores can serve as foreplay and build intimacy naturally05:00 - The low bar: simple daily contributions that make a difference06:30 - The importance of clearing small tasks and routines like trash and toiletries08:00 - Reframing household contribution as a form of contribution to the relationship10:00 - Recognizing mental and cognitive labor that men can start to take on12:00 - Practical tips for managing responsibilities and avoiding proxy arguments14:00 - Building micro-habits: starting small and celebrating progress16:00 - The role of role models like "the Colonel" and the importance of visible masculinity18:00 - Overcoming difficult moments with books like Fair Play and Chore Play20:00 - The benefits of routines like waking early and managing responsibilities consciously22:00 - How media and societal norms influence perceptions of masculinity24:00 - The significance of enjoying alone time ("unicorn space") for mental health26:00 - The importance of consistency and small wins in long-term relationship health28:00 - Recognizing and respecting the invisible labor many men are already doing30:00 - The power of weekly partner meetings to stay aligned32:00 - Personal stories of shifting from reactive to proactive contributions34:00 - How to avoid burnout and keep routines sustainable36:00 - Addressing the challenge of accountability and honest communication38:00 - Media's role in shaping gender roles and how men can redefine their part40:00 - The spectrum of masculinity—from traditional to progressive—men can find their place42:00 - Learning from family models and cultural influences on gender roles44:00 - The critical role of self-awareness and intentionality in embodying masculinity46:00 - Practical advice for beginners: small acts that create big ripples48:00 - Managing social settings—like parties or family gatherings—consciously50:00 - Recognizing and breaking addictive or destructive rituals around sports and leisure52:00 - The value of quantifying your contributions through routines and habits54:00 - Insights into male friendships, masculinity, and modern male identity56:00 - Cultivating self-sufficiency and enjoying your own company58:00 - How media often overlooks the efforts of well-meaning men and their silent contributions
Transcribe →#106: Live 1 on 2 Coaching Call Implementing Fair Play Method
Feb 400:46:20Tap to summarizeThis conversation explores the dynamics of emotional communication and task ownership within a relationship. The participants discuss their progress in emotional literacy, the application of the emotional wheel, and the importance of regular family meetings. They delve into the 51% activity, which focuses on redistributing household responsibilities and identifying invisible labor. The discussion highlights the emotional responses tied to task ownership and the significance of establishing routines for accountability. The conversation concludes with reflections on the journey of growth and the next steps for continued improvement.Get your own 1 on 1 (or 1 on 2) coaching call implemnting these tactics at whatever stage you are in:https://zachthinkshare.com/one-on-one-coaching-call587613
Transcribe →