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What's up everyone? Welcome back to Podcast and Chill. I'm Leo.

And I'm Gwen. This is our little space for learning English. No stress here, just real talks.

Today we're talking about something I'm not great at. Walking into a room full of people...

...and feeling like you're on the outside looking in.

Exactly. My brain immediately goes, "Don't say anything stupid. Just stay quiet."

And what happens next?

I say nothing. Then I leave thinking, "Why didn't I just talk to them? It's the worst."

That's exactly what we're talking about today. How to speak with confidence.

But Gwen, here's the weird part. The more I want to be confident, the more tense I get. So why does trying make us freeze?

That's the big question, isn't it? Well, we're getting into that. We'll look at what's going on inside our heads and how to change it in simple ways.

By the way, this episode is B1 level English. So, if you hear new words, don't panic.

We'll break down key vocabulary in our English word journey at the end. For now, just listen and let it flow. You don't need to catch everything. It'll come naturally.

All right, ready to talk confidently? Let's do this. So Gwen, do you ever join a conversation but just can't focus? Like your body's in the room nodding and smiling, but your mind's somewhere else.

Oh, I know that feeling. It happens to me sometimes.

Right? I just don't know why that happened. It's like there's this force or voice controlling my mind. It keeps whispering things to me while everyone else is talking.

Whispering what?

So, every time I'm about to speak, it shuts me down with something like, "Don't say that. Nobody cares. Just stay quiet. It's safer."

Uh-huh. While that voice is whispering, what's happening in the real conversation?

It keeps moving without me. I'm standing there like a garden statue, watching life move past me while I'm just frozen.

Well, Leo, that means you're actually having two conversations at once. Two at the same time. Whoa.

Yeah. So, there's one conversation happening out loud with people. Meanwhile, the other is inside your head with yourself.

Hm, feel like I'm arguing with myself more than I'm talking to anyone.

I know, but that's normal. You probably think that voice is there because you have nothing to say, right?

I mean, yeah, it feels that way sometimes.

But that's not true. You do have things to say. The problem is you're too busy thinking about whether you should say something or not.

And by the time I decide to speak, the moment's gone.

Exactly. The conversation already moved on and you're still stuck on the last topic.

True. It's so exhausting. So where does this voice even come from? Like who invited it?

Well, it comes from caring too much about what other people might think. Might. Key word. Half the time they're not even thinking about me.

Yeah, in your head though. What if I say something wrong? What if they think I'm weird? What if I sound stupid?

Stop reading my diary. Seriously, I ask myself those exact questions every single time.

Right. So, when you walk into a conversation with your mind full of those thoughts...

...it makes you feel so timid before you even open your mouth.

Exactly. But you're not really a shy person. You're just letting that voice run the show.

And when that voice runs the show, there's no room left to actually listen.

Bingo. You spend so much time watching yourself that you can't be there with people.

So, I'm basically watching a movie of myself instead of being in the actual scene....

Vol301.日常英语学习Speak with Confidence