10% Happier with Dan Harris

Episode Summary: Do You Feel Like Everybody Sucks? Here’s a 10-Minute Pain Reliever

Date: October 24, 2025
Host: Dan Harris

Overview

In this bite-sized Friday episode of 10% Happier, host Dan Harris guides listeners through a 10-minute loving kindness (metta) meditation. Drawing on both personal experience and scientific research, Harris shares why this practice—once “unforgivably cheesy” to him—is now a cornerstone of his self-care. The episode aims to offer a practical tool for lifting emotional pain and cultivating goodwill, even toward those who frustrate us.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Power and Science of Loving Kindness Meditation

• Dan Harris candidly admits he was once skeptical of metta meditation, calling it “unforgivably cheesy,” but emphasizes it is now essential in his personal routine due to its well-documented benefits.
• “There’s a ton of science indicating that this practice really is good for you.” (Dan Harris, 00:41)

Guided Meditation Structure

Harris leads a classic loving kindness meditation, which unfolds in directed phases:

1. Easy Person/Animal (someone you deeply care about)

   • Example: Dan picks his cat, Curtis, describing their playful moment.
   • “I was just playing with one of our cats, Curtis, who I think was mostly flirting with me because he wanted a treat. But anyway, I’ll take it… So I’m going to go with a cat, but you can go with a little kid, a really close friend.” (Dan Harris, 04:28)

2. Self

   • Visualizing oneself, sometimes as a child, or recalling a comforting self-image.
   • “You can picture yourself last time you looked in the mirror. Or if it’s easier, a childhood photo of yourself or just a sense of yourself sitting or lying down.” (Dan Harris, 05:01)
   • Harris imagines himself in a family hug with his wife and son.

3. Mentor/Benefactor

   • Someone who has had a positive impact, such as a teacher, mentor, or role model (real or historical figures).
   • “If you don’t know anybody who fits the bill, a role model from public life or history, Abraham Lincoln, Don D, etc.” (Dan Harris, 06:17)

4. Neutral Person

   • Someone who plays a minor, often unnoticed, role in your life (e.g., barista, dry cleaner).
   • “This one can be hard to get a mental image of, but it’s good exercise, really tuning up the mind.” (Dan Harris, 06:45)

5. Difficult Person

   • A more challenging subject, Harris suggests not to start with the most difficult and explains sending well-wishes is not excusing bad behavior.
   • “Sending benevolence to a difficult person is not co-signing on their bad behavior. As I often say, people who are happy or safe tend not to behave badly.” (Dan Harris, 07:10)
   • Cites a tip from Joseph Goldstein: imagine offering loving kindness from a godlike, omniscient perspective.

6. All Beings

   • Broadening the scope to encompass all life.
   • “You can imagine the planet floating in space, or you can just feel it somatically in your body. Kind of this omnidirectional feeling of sending out benevolence.” (Dan Harris, 08:00)

Core Meditation Phrases

Throughout, the following metta phrases are repeated and adapted to each recipient:

• May you/I be happy
• May you/I be safe (or safe and protected from any harm)
• May you/I be healthy and strong (in body)
• May you/I live with ease

Dan encourages listeners to “alter the image to fit with the sentiment” and stresses that you don’t have to feel anything in particular for the practice to be effective:

• “Crucial point you may have heard me make before, you don’t have to feel any kind of way. This is an exercise, it’s a practice. Sometimes the opposite of loving kindness emerges—totally fine. Just keep going with the reps.” (Dan Harris, 05:40)

Grounding in Daily Life

At the meditation’s close, Harris gently invites listeners to re-enter everyday experience:

• “When you’re ready, you can rejoin what the Buddhists call Samsara. Often at the end of a retreat, people say, I’m back in Samsara, which is like the daily cycle of wanting and not wanting—the mundane world as opposed to the sort of more mindful world.” (Dan Harris, 09:25)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “May you be happy, may you be safe. May you be healthy and strong in your body. May you live with ease.” (Dan Harris, 04:50, and throughout the meditation)
• On skepticism and transformation: “I initially found loving kindness, or metta, meditation to be, I guess you could say, unforgivably cheesy. But it really is now a crucial part of my practice.” (Dan Harris, 00:22)
• On difficult people: “Sending benevolence… is not co-signing on their bad behavior.” (Dan Harris, 07:10)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:04–02:23: Introduction, personal story, and the science behind metta
• 03:58–14:04: Full 10-minute loving kindness meditation, broken down into:
  • Easy person/animal: 04:28
  • Self: 05:01
  • Mentor/benefactor: 06:17
  • Neutral person: 06:45
  • Difficult person: 07:10
  • All beings: 08:00
• 14:04–14:36: Wrap-Up; encouragement to join future live meditations

Additional Information

• Live Guided Meditations: Weekly sessions every Tuesday at 4 PM Eastern for paid subscribers, including Q&A with teachers such as Sebene Selassie.
• Upcoming Events: Live podcast taping with Pete Holmes on November 18th in NYC, supporting the New York Insight Meditation Center.
• Ongoing Support: Companions meditations released with regular episodes to integrate podcast insights.

Closing Note

This episode delivers a practical, accessible meditation practice to help listeners feel more connected—to themselves, loved ones, strangers, and even challenging people. Dan Harris’s frank reflections and gentle guidance demystify loving kindness for skeptics and newcomers alike. Perfect for anyone needing a mood-lifter and perspective-shifter in just 10 minutes.