Podcast Summary: 10% Happier with Dan Harris

Episode Title: How Can I Meditate (Or Do Anything Else) When I’m in Pain? | Sebene Selassie
Release Date: October 19, 2025
Host: 10% Happier (Dan Harris)
Guest: Sebene Selassie
Interviewer: DJ Kashmir

Overview

This episode dives deep into one of meditation's most challenging questions: How do we practice mindfulness or sit in meditation when we're experiencing physical or psychological pain? Drawing on her extensive personal experience with cancer and emotional hardship, teacher Sebene Selassie offers a nuanced, compassionate approach. The discussion explores both classical meditation instruction and real-life adaptations for pain, tackling cultural, emotional, and personal dimensions.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Nature and Complexity of Pain

[05:42] Sebene Selassie shares her intimate experience with ongoing physical and emotional pain:

• Chronic and acute pain have shaped her life and teaching.
• She acknowledges the limitations of classical meditation advice, i.e., “just be with the pain,” especially when pain is intense or overwhelming.
• Mindfulness can help disentangle the sensation itself from the stories and judgments we add.

Notable Quote:
"There's a quality in which I privilege the meditation over tending to the pain. And it's hard because there is a mental amplification of physical pain... we are projecting pain... and almost amplifying or increasing the pain with my thought about the pain."
— Sebene Selassie [06:49]

Mindfulness Approaches and Their Limits

• The classic instruction of watching and allowing pain has real value if pain is mild and bearable.
• Mindfulness reveals the mental amplification of pain: “My foot hurts” morphs into “My foot is probably infected… I’m too young to die”, escalating anxiety and suffering (DJ Kashmir [10:19]).
• Sometimes, self-compassion means tending directly to pain (with a bath, movement, or medication), not just sitting and witnessing.

Notable Quote:
"A lot of time, movement, which we don't really allow ourselves if we're in some idea of a formal practice or meditation with pain... water is really helpful for me with pain. So I take a lot of baths... meditate in the bath."
— Sebene Selassie [09:59]

Pain Is Personal and Cultural

• How we relate to pain is deeply individual—what registers as “a 7” on the pain scale for one is “a 3” for another ([11:54] Sebene Selassie).
• Cultural and societal judgments often make things worse—wellness culture and spiritual ideology can pathologize pain or tie it to personal failure.

Notable Quote:
"If you're not getting wealthier and happier and physically stronger, then you know you're not spiritual enough. So it's like this wellness culture grift that physical health and mental health equals worth..."
— Sebene Selassie [08:30]

The Brain and Universal Nature of Pain

[13:53] Both physical and psychological pain are processed in the same regions of the brain—shining a light on pain’s universality and its deep ties to identity and control.

Notable Quote:
"Physical pain and mental and emotional pain are processed in the same part of the brain. And so there's a similar quality here that what seems overwhelming and unbearable for some people emotionally or mentally, just seems like Tuesday for someone else."
— Sebene Selassie [12:46]

Identification and Shared Humanity

• A high pain tolerance can be a “flex” but also a trap; collapsing under pain is equally problematic.
• Moving from “Why me?” to “Why not me?”—recognizing pain as a universal, shared human experience ([15:06]).

Practical Guidance: What Does My Body Need Right Now?

General Approach ([19:17])

• If not in acute pain, beginners benefit from sticking with one meditation practice to learn their own mind-body patterns.
• For those with more experience or in acute distress, being able to drop into the body and ask “What does my body need right now?” is vital.
• This is a somatic, bodily inquiry—moving attention from the head to body sensations and letting these feelings guide the choice (sitting, bath, gentle movement, metta, etc.).
• Listening to one’s own body is a skill that grows with practice.

Notable Quote:
"When we drop into the body, feel the belly, feel the chest, feel the feet on the floor, we can kind of listen to other cues just besides our thoughts and just say, you know what, what do I feel like today? And really feel is the operative word there."
— Sebene Selassie [20:37]

Simple Practice for Beginners ([23:17])

• Follow the breath: one inhale, one exhale, then check in with the body.
• Repeat, building the capacity for noticing and listening to the body’s signals.
• Simple is often best, especially in times of overwhelm.

Notable Quote:
"Just sit down, follow one inhale, one exhale, and then see what's happening in your body. And then do another inhale and another exhale and just see what's happening in your body. Rinse, repeat for however many minutes you have."
— Advice relayed by DJ Kashmir [23:35]

Memorable Moments & Quotes

| Timestamp | Who | Quote | |-----------|--------------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 06:49 | Sebene Selassie | “There's a way in which we are projecting pain...amplifying or increasing the pain with my thought.” | | 08:30 | Sebene Selassie | “Wellness culture grift...that physical health and mental health equals worth.” | | 10:19 | DJ Kashmir | “There’s a big difference between...‘my foot hurts’ and ‘my foot hurts, it's probably infected...’” | | 12:46 | Sebene Selassie | “Physical pain and mental and emotional pain are processed in the same part of the brain…” | | 15:37 | Sebene Selassie | “Why me? ... why not me? This pain is not mine alone...this suffering is so universal. It's so human.” | | 20:37 | Sebene Selassie | “…really feel is the operative word there. Right? So we're sensing into. Oh, okay. Yeah.” | | 23:35 | DJ Kashmir | “Just sit down, follow one inhale, one exhale, and then see what's happening in your body...” | | 24:21 | Sebene Selassie | “The simpler often the better.” |

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [05:42] — Sebene shares her evolving view on meditating with pain
• [10:19] — DJ Kashmir recaps and reflects on core insights
• [11:54] — Discussion on pain’s subjectivity and pain tolerance
• [13:53] — Insights into the neurological overlap of physical and psychological pain
• [15:06] — Identification with pain and recognition of pain as universal
• [19:17] — Navigating the question: “What does my body need right now?”
• [23:02] — Beginner's guidance for developing somatic awareness

Tone and Language

The conversation is intimate, vulnerable, and gently humorous. Both Sebene and DJ Kashmir speak with humility, warmth, and respect for the idiosyncratic nature of pain and meditation. There is a notable emphasis on self-compassion and curiosity, rather than dogma or rigid prescription.

Takeaways for Listeners

• Mindfulness of pain is not one-size-fits-all: Mindful presence can reveal the difference between sensation and story, but tending to pain may also mean caring for the body in practical ways (rest, movement, medicine).
• Cultural and personal narratives shape our experience of pain—compassion and self-knowledge are essential.
• Somatic awareness is crucial: Learning to ask and listen for “what is needed right now?” is a skill and a practice, not a quick fix.
• Simple, consistent practices (like breath check-ins) build the foundation for deeper awareness and resilience.
• Pain is a universal human experience: “Why not me?” reframes suffering as connection rather than isolation.