10% Happier with Dan Harris

Episode: How To Cut Yourself Some Slack | Meditation with Vinny Ferraro

Date: September 14, 2025
Teacher: Vinny Ferraro
Host: Dan Harris

Episode Overview

This episode features a gentle, kindness-focused guided meditation led by Vinny Ferraro, aimed at those who are often their own harshest critics. Rather than striving for self-improvement, Vinny encourages listeners to cultivate self-inclusion and self-appreciation, turning down the volume on the inner critic and allowing space for genuine, honest kindness toward oneself.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

The Trap of Self-Improvement vs. Self-Inclusion

• Many people feel internal and external pressure to “fix themselves” or hide the “messy” parts of their personality.
• Vinny reframes this narrative:

  “This practice isn't about self improvement. It's about self inclusion.” (04:16)

• The meditation focuses on meeting ourselves with kindness—not out of accomplishment, but because we all deserve a break from our own self-criticism.

Guided Meditation: Meeting Ourselves with Kindness

• Preparation:

  • Find a supportive, relaxed posture.
  • Consider closing your eyes or softening your gaze to turn attention inward.
    (04:54)
  • Ease any internal demands on yourself to “do it right” or be a particular way.

• Body Awareness:

  • Start by feeling the points of contact—chair, cushion, floor.
  • Recognize your body as your “home base.”
    (05:24)

• Offering Appreciation:

  • Bring to mind a part of yourself you usually overlook—something quiet, persistent, or always supporting you.
  • “Offer that part a little appreciation. A little thank you for holding you this whole time.” (06:02)
  • It doesn’t need to be a dramatic or overwhelming feeling; just a small, sincere gesture of kindness.

• Acknowledgment of Past Efforts:

  • Reflect on the challenges you’ve overcome, growth you’ve experienced, care you’ve shown.
  • “This isn't self-indulging or ego. This is honesty. This is the heart recognizing the beauty of its own effort.” (07:09)

• Self-Kindness as a New Message:

  • Gently thank different aspects of yourself:
    • Body for carrying you

      “Thank you body for carrying me. Thank you heart for caring so much. Thank you breath for always bringing me back.” (07:20)

    • Allow this warmth to spread inward—to shoulders, arms, belly.

• Handling Resistance:

  • Acknowledge that it’s normal to feel resistance (“Maybe you don't deserve kindness or gratitude”)—and that there’s no need to force anything.
  • It’s about inviting a new, kinder message.

• Embracing Enoughness:

  • “Each breath as an offering that this is enough. I don’t have to be more than I am right now. I’m glad to be here.” (08:22)

• Rest in Appreciation:

  • Allow yourself several breaths to let this sense of kindness settle.

Facing the Inner Critic

• “So when the critic shows up again, and it will, you get to remember there's another voice in here too, one that doesn't need you to be more, better or different.” (17:11)
• Cultivation of an inner ally—a voice that appreciates presence and effort, not just outcomes.

Transition Out of Practice

• Gently return from meditation, perhaps by letting your eyes open softly.
• Carry this sense of kindness and presence with you into your day.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On self-kindness:

  “You don't have to feel any great surge of love. You don't have to fake anything. You just have to be willing to turn toward yourself with even a little less judgment and a little more care.” (04:32)

• On honesty with ourselves:

  “This isn't self-indulging or ego. This is honesty. This is the heart recognizing the beauty of its own effort. Because we're still here." (07:09)

• On resistance:

  “Sometimes we can't really feel that much. Or there's parts of us that may resist it... that's okay, you don't have to force it. You're just offering an invitation.” (08:04)

• On intrinsic worth:

  “Not for what you're doing, but for who you are exactly as you are right now. See if you can notice even the tiniest shift.” (17:11)

• On the voice of appreciation:

  “There's another voice in here too, one that doesn't need you to be more, better or different.” (17:20)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 04:16 – Introduction to the meditation: Shifting from self-improvement to self-inclusion.
• 04:54 – Meditation begins: Grounding and preparing the body.
• 06:02 – Offering appreciation to an overlooked part of self.
• 07:09 – Honest self-acknowledgment and the power of recognition.
• 08:04 – Dealing with resistance to self-kindness.
• 08:22 – Embracing “enoughness” and present-moment appreciation.
• 17:11 – Reminders for when the inner critic returns.
• 19:31 – Closing invitation: carry this kindness with you throughout your day.

Tone and Style

Vinny Ferraro’s language is gentle and conversational, inviting, and entirely lacking in pretense. The meditation is suitable for beginners as well as seasoned practitioners, especially those who habitually criticize themselves or feel pressured to “improve.”

Takeaway

This episode provides listeners with an approachable meditation for self-kindness and inclusion—a gentle but profound reminder to appreciate oneself, not for achievements, but for simply being. As Vinny says, “This is the heart recognizing the beauty of its own effort... Because we’re still here.”