Podcast Summary: How to Engage with Technology Without Losing Your Mind | Soren Gordhamer

Podcast: 10% Happier with Dan Harris
Episode Date: November 12, 2025
Guest: Soren Gordhamer (host of Wisdom 2.0, co-founder of Wisdom Ventures, author of The Essential)

Episode Overview

This episode tackles one of the century’s most pressing questions: How can we engage with technology—especially as AI rapidly evolves—without losing our minds, sense of purpose, or genuine human connection? Soren Gordhamer, a long-time contemplative thinker at the heart of Silicon Valley, joins Dan Harris to discuss strategies for thriving ethically and mindfully in a world increasingly dominated by superintelligent systems. Together, they explore the balance between leveraging tech for good and resisting its addictive, destabilizing potential.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What is "the Essential"?

[07:01]

• Soren’s Book & Title:
  • The title The Essential was a serendipitous choice, but became a guiding focus.
  • Core idea: We’re bombarded by distractions and technological dopamine hits—so what actually matters?
  • "For me, the inner life is essential... Are we living with what actually matters to us, or are we lost in this algorithmic maze that just keeps us addicted to things that don't really serve us?" (Soren, 08:32)

2. The Looming Impact of AI

[09:18]

• Technological Leap:
  • AI isn’t just another gadget, but “a new intelligence” with self-improving capabilities.
  • The pace is accelerating—AI is now writing its own code, making the process exponential.
  • "AI is ready for us. I just don't know if humans are ready for AI." (Soren, 11:21)
• Superintelligence:
  • Dan questions whether true general artificial intelligence (AGI) will emerge; Soren says most experts in his circles believe it’s inevitable.
  • "To me, the level of development and the speed at which AI is teaching itself and developing by itself is both mesmerizing and terrifying. And it's not slowing down." (Soren, 16:27)

3. Economic & Social Upheaval

[16:52 – 21:17]

• Future World Scenarios:
  • AI-first companies may replace human-centered companies, reducing need for human labor in many sectors.
  • Potential for both utopia ("freed up to live the life you want") and dystopia ("just a bunch of trillionaires").
• Jobs, Purpose, and Meaning:
  • Even “meaningful” jobs like spiritual leaders or teachers will face AI competition.
  • The essential question: How will humans find purpose and meaning if work is automated?
  • "People still want a sense of purpose and meaning. They still want to feel like they're contributing ... So we just need to figure out how do we give people purpose and meaning." (Soren, 19:15)

4. The Dark Side of Tech: Distraction and Mental Health

[22:02]

• No Tech Has Helped Well-Being:
  • Previous technologies helped with information and connection, but failed at improving mental health.
  • Stats show mental health issues rise with tech adoption, especially among youth.
  • "Every technology ... has not helped at all and probably has hurt [well-being]." (Soren, 22:11)
• Algorithmic Control:
  • AI-driven platforms will get even “better” at keeping us hooked, regardless of the content's quality.
  • Social media doesn't care if you want wisdom or conspiracy—it just seeks to suck your attention.

5. Tools for Building a “Spiritual Compass”

Soren’s book outlines five areas for personal upgrade. Not all were formally named in the text, but Dan distills them as follows:

a. Become Aware of “The Game”

[28:03]

• Tech platforms use the smartest people on earth to keep you scrolling—they profit from your attention.
• "There is an effort that doesn't necessarily look out for our well being and we have to then be resistant to that at times." (Soren, 29:18)

b. Daily Structure: Protect Your Mind

[32:06]

• Carve out the first and last hour of the day for yourself—no tech, just nourishing activities.
• "It's not about consuming, it's about connecting." (Soren, 33:38)
• Dan’s practice: “A clean break is easier than kind of half assing it, if you know what I mean.” (34:07)

c. Pause and Set Intentions

[37:41]

• Before reaching for your phone, ask: "What do I want right now? What do I need?"
• Mindfulness helps disrupt zombie-like tech habits and makes space for genuine need.
• "We know two things. We know we have limited heartbeats, and we never know when those heartbeats are gonna end." (Soren, 39:29)

d. Embrace Presence (Presence Span)

[52:58]

• Presence span = being awake for more of your life (not sleepwalking).
• Make nature, friend time, and inner work (like meditation) non-negotiables in your calendar.

e. Investigate Your Stories

[58:13]

• We’re driven not by reality but by internal stories/narratives, often shaped by old wounds or childhood trauma.
• Identifying these subroutines, especially when we’re triggered, can “unhook” us and expand our freedom.
• “When we get triggered, can we inquire what is the story? What is the pain that's getting ignited right now?” (Soren, 65:24)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On AI’s Promise and Peril:

  • “We're not birthing a new technology, we're birthing a new intelligence.” (Soren, 10:03)

• On Meaning Beyond Consumption:

  • “The more that we have love and heartfulness in our life, everything else is kind of imbalanced. And the more we don't have love ... the more we're looking for something to kind of feed us or satiate us or complete us.” (Soren, 39:45)
  • “Tell me the greatest experience you had on social media ... people just can't name anything.” (Soren, 36:13)

• On Presence:

  • “It’s not just about having more moments, but it’s actually being in the moments that we’re in.” (Soren, 54:18)

• On Human Evolution vs. Tech Evolution:

  • “My sense of our greatest hope is that there’s an AI race and we need to create a humanity race.” (Soren, 68:35)
  • “That is the number one question of our time. Can we go through a change that allows human beings to really care for one another...?” (Soren, 68:45)

Lighter Moments

• Dan: “My first book was something about, like, how not to lose your edge. And the fact that I’m writing a book about love just proves that I was fucking wrong. I’ve definitely lost it.” [06:48]

• Soren shares the “Methaphone”—a dummy phone you carry for comfort when leaving your actual phone behind; “It’s like a teddy bear for a second child.” (Dan, 44:21)

Actionable Strategies Summarized

1. Design Boundaries:

• First and last hour tech-free, focused on intentional, nourishing activity.
• Make friend time, nature, and contemplation core parts of your daily planning.

2. Make Mindful Choices:

• Pause before picking up your phone, and clarify your real need or intent.
• Try days fully with and without your phone and compare.

3. Investigate and Update Your Stories:

• Use moments of strong emotion or reactivity as entry points to explore past wounds or subconscious narratives.
• Therapy, coaching, or journaling can help illuminate and unhook these stories.

4. Teach the Algorithm:

• Intentionally engage with social feeds and platforms to receive more uplifting, meaningful content.

5. Structural Change is Needed:

• Don’t rely solely on personal willpower: Soren advocates for new tech business models and government guardrails to re-align incentives and protect collective mental health.

Philosophical Challenges & Hope

• Society teeters between a technological utopia and dystopia—outcomes are not predetermined.
• The greatest task: foster empathy, connection, and wise engagement, individually and collectively.
• "AI is an invitation. If we can do it well, something better can come forward." (Soren, 79:17)

Resources Mentioned

• Soren’s Book: The Essential: Discovering What Really Matters in an Age of Distraction
• Organizations:
  • Center for Humane Technology (Tristan Harris)
  • Wisdom Ventures (mindful investing for impact and profit)
  • Wisdom 2.0 (annual conference on mindfulness in tech)
• Others:
  • Substack newsletters by Soren and Dan

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [07:01]: Meaning of "the Essential"
• [09:18]: The true nature and trajectory of AI
• [16:52]: The economic and societal impact of rapidly evolving AI
• [22:02]: Tech, distraction, and mental health
• [28:03]: Understanding “The Game” of social media
• [32:06]: Morning and evening rituals to reclaim attention
• [37:41]: Mindful use & intention setting with tech
• [52:58]: "Presence span" and practical presence tips
• [58:13]: Investigating our core stories and trauma
• [67:59]: Can humanity collectively “upgrade” in time?
• [72:29]: Are tech leaders aligned with humanity’s best interests?
• [77:34]: The necessity of structural change beyond personal effort

Tone and Final Reflection

The conversation is candid, skeptical but ultimately hopeful, blending Dan's realism and dark humor with Soren's optimistic encouragement. The guidance is practical yet acknowledges the scale of the challenge: true resilience in the digital age requires both inner work and outer systems change.

Closing Remark:
“In a time of dizzying change, one of the most important skills you can cultivate is the ability not to be owned by your thoughts.” (Dan, 04:15)